Support Groups - Summer Staerters 3-1-06

Thanks Laura

well gee there i went and posted on the Feb thread this a.m. thanks Laura & Melissa!
i am just NOT tracking well these days.
Ok what is up with the afternoon i wanna eat everything in sight urges??
Arrgh every afternoon between 3-4 i want to non stop EAT-
so i am diverting from food menu and had some smart pop popcorn but i measured it and made sure i only had 3 cups.
Then i decided to get on here and try to type out my urge to eat.
I can't wait to live in an area i don't have to drive 2 miles in order to take a nice walk - it will be good to walk and do yard work when the urge to eat hits and i'm NOT hungry.
I will be glad when Money stresses are over too - things will be a bit cheaper there - i also need to do a weekly menu there and stick to it so everyone is on the same page on who's cooking and what we are having.
see ya'll later!
p.s I read earlier that by march most have given up on weight loss & exercise-i like to think i am looking forward to spring and keep on going!
Sandi

i went 300 calories over what i planned yesterday so that was not good. grrr. today will be better!
breakfast (280)
yogurt (120)
granola (125)
jelly (35)
lunch (330)
luna bar (170)
prunes (60)
banana (100)
dinner/snack (685?)
not sure yet. depends on dh. but for now let's just say as a guess:
english muffin pizza (225)
2 tacos (300)
peanut butter (100)
prunes (60).........(1295?)
yes, i am a freak that eats plain peanut butter right off the spoon :devil:
but not nearly as freakish as some lady this guy at work told me about that has her frappuccino blended with heavy cream and topped with as much whipped cream as will possibly fit under the dome. maybe i have a dieter's mindset but that is disgusting. i actually feel kind of bad handing two chocolate scones and a 500 calorie drink to people that are already 75 pounds overweight. when are people going to wake up and realize it is not ok scarf down 2000 calories just like that? alright, enough of my :soap:

Ok I am a drip-I spelled starters wrong and I get to look at it all month lol. I just got off the phone with the caseworker and she is terminating the dependency for kate and I guess I am going to have to adopt logan now. I wish I could just do the third party thing because I do hold out hope that someday Kate will get clean and sober and be a mommy to her kids. She will never be able to keep any children she gives birth to now either. I guess the Daddy of Logan is Matt something and he has no interest in being a parent and I guess he has a pretty hefty criminal record too and he is out of the picture so if it weren't for me Logan would have no one. It is so sad since he is such a wonderful little boy! He so deserves everything!
Melissa

He has everything he needs it this world because of you Melissa. A real Mom who loves him and takes care of him, and 2 sisters and a big brother.
Laura

Hey Ladies!! Yeah, it's a new month!! I got on the scale this morning and almost fell over! It said 222!! That is 50 pounds gone!! :dizzy: WOW!!! I won't really believe it until it still says it come Monday, but I am still in shock!

I am going to try posting my food intake, but it will be what I have already eaten for the day, not what I will eat. I have found that it doesn't work for me. I never eat what I write down in advance!

Todays food(3/01)
Bfast-
tea w/1 tsp sugar, 1 tbsp milk
1 ww toast w/ICBINB
Snack-
orange
Lunch-
Reeses Caramel PB cup
2 Quaker rice cakes(I know, not a good lunch!!)
Dinner-
Lite caesar salad
Diet coke
Snack-
Ben & Jerrys Frozen Yogurt-GOOD STUFF!!


OOOHHHH---I got a new puppy! He is adorable!! He is a Corgi. My problem is-I cannot think of a name for the poor guy! If I can figure out this new camcorder, I will post a pic, and you all can help me out!

Well, it's bed time!! See ya in the morning!

Kathy

Great job Kathy! That is a great achievement! I like the name Waffles lol don't ask me why.

Ok didn't feel swell yet again and I think I am just going to have to break down and go see dr although that doesn't thrill me at all. I am kind of winging it here since I need to make up menus again and now I am even more anal about getting stuff done in the house since caseworker will be here on monday. I will get my menus done though if nothing else.

Breakfast
WW yogurt smoothie 1pt

Lunch
bologna sandwich 8pts
orange 1pt

Dinner
mexican caserole 6pts
big salad 0pts
2T dressing 2pts
1oz cheese 3pts
1/4c raisins 2pts
23pts of 26

Melissa

Well hello Ladies, thank god for a new month. I worked out at Curves yesterday and tonight I am getting on my Gazelle I can do 1 mile in 15 minutes, slowly working up to 10, I figure it will take a a couple weeks to do that.
My children suckered me in for a puppy a couple of weeks ago we called him Max, I searched the web for dog names and stil went witha plain Jane name, oh well it works. I have started slowly walking him only about 15 min just to get him used to the leash and the walking, I'm hoping in about 3 more weeks we willbe able to go for good long walks about an hour, that will help with the exercise cause he needs to walk. Well have to go make supper not sure what I'm making yet, i think I need to start making weekly menu's, do they really help??

OK some days i will post menus in advance and then there are days like today i just have to post what i ate - today was rough anyway - with a memorial service ( i really don't like open casket services) and you kinda run around and help whoever needs it. and tehn you have to be oh so quiet and the phone keeps ringing- then i had to go help oldest daughter move her stuff so she can get out of the crazy house she is in- she only lasted 2 weeks as a nanny- but in her defense the lady was too weird- would say one thing and then change it 10 minutes later. i should be worried about her and all oh my goodness what are you going to do and where are you going to live etc.. but i have enough on my plate and don't have enough energy to worry- she's been told you have to be out by the 18th- we are moving and you need to get it together. there are times i feel like a failure as a parent- :(
ok today I started off real good:
scrambled Egg whites and turkey bacon on Whole wheat toast
tea
Luna bar
banana
handful of baked lays
3 cups smart pop
handful of kashi heart to heart cereal
chocolate high protein slimfast drink
10 gummy bears( i counted)
orange
nachos made with baked tostitos, chili beans, salsa, FF sour cream, onions and lettuce
licked a teaspoon of peanut butter ( i am the same way candice)

I like the name waffles too- thats cute-
Melissa- i am sorry about kate - i keep praying she'll get it together soon maybe she hasn't hit rock bottom yet and needs that to pull herself out of it.
well i am off to make goodies for the bake sale for the school tomorrow
(and try NOT to lick anymore spoons :D

Sandi

i am sorry about kate melissa. but at least you don't have to worry about logan's situation anymore. he will have a safe and stable home, so that's good.
sounds like everyone is doing great food-wise. i have been hanging in there, but for some reason i have been starved for the past couple of days. i have been eating the same if not more than i usually do, but i have been really hungry, or maybe just wanting to eat. from overeating for so many years, it's hard for me to tell when i am acutally hungry and when i am just having a craving for something. i think my mistake was buying those cherry flavored prunes the other day. for some reason, they are a major trigger food me. i can eat a whole bag. i knew about this, so i bought a bag of snack packs, but i still couldn't stop craving them.
i am a freakshow. who ever heard of a prune binge?
here's my food for today..
breakfast (340)
yogurt (120)
granola (125)
jelly (35)
prunes (60)
lunch (325)
english muffin pizza (225)
tbsp peanut butter (100)
dinner
as usual, i have no idea. but probably tacos and frozen yogurt, and then maybe a frozen dinner when i get off work. i don't eat very healthy food these days. too lazy to cook. around 1400 calories total for the day is my goal. i stuck with my plan for yesterday pretty much, except i had more prunes and peanut butter. 220 extra calories. darn.

Well, aren't we all slacking today??? Okay, I've been slacking for days:shrug: I have no excuse! I have not been to Curves all week and I have only made it to the gym once. I went this morning and isn't it weird that you(me) put off exercising but then when you do it, you feel so good? I feel so much better about myself afterwords! Hopefully I will be able to get in tomorrow. Harley (10 yo dd) has softball tryouts in the morning and then.... I get to go meet some people who have a large, beautiful house (with a garage) that they might rent to us!!! I am so excited! Send prayers up that, God willing, we will get the house! I would SO love to have a garden this year, and there is so much room at the house!
I ate terrible yesterday-won't even post the disaster! Today was much better!
Bfast-
tea
1 ww toast w/ICBINB
1 scram. egg

Snack-
apple

Lunch-
1 ww bread w/pb
Smart Start cereal w/1% milk

Dinner-
Turkey
small serving of mashed potatoes w/gravy

Snack-
Light n Fit Vanilla Yogurt
9 Glasses of water

Gotta keep it up if I want to see 222 on the scale come Monday. TOM is here, so I don't want to step on the scale!

I think the puppy is going to be named Porky! He is a little porker!! Not sure yet though, is that terrible? Tomorrow I've had him for a week and he still isn't named!! I also like the name Makita-it means prince, don't know if hubby will go for that! His family was raised with dogs named Maggie, Pepper, Smiley, etc. Nothing real imaginative! My parents raised English Staffordshire Terriers(the short, wide, pitbulls) they all had names longer than mine!

Oh well, I am getting off track-who's track, I don't know!!! My tracks have never run straight, or next to each other!!:D

Have a great weekend ladies! And I will be back soon, I now have a new computer and FAST internet service!!! (Although if I move to the other house I will have to go back to slow dial-up:( ) OH WELL!

See ya!!
Kathy

Well I have no idea what the menu is today except that we are having bbq chicken, corn on the cob and salad but that only totals about 9 pts for the day. I guess for lunch I could do smoothie and piece of fruit. It still puts me way below dailie points. I just don't feel like eating much today which I guess is a good thing?? Still working on the house-I will be so glad when I don't have to worry about caseworkers ect. I guess dependency takes 6 months till completion which I like because it will give Katy another chance to come around. I still haven't heard anything out of her though. Laundry day so I guess you know I have alot to do lol. I would like to see that ticker go DOWN!
Melissa

I am not slacking HONEST!
I didn't get home till after 9:00 last night and i am still fighting this rotten cold/sinus/allergies whatever it is and they are making me nuts!
so i took nighty- night meds and :faint: all night
Ok i have decided that some days i can post in advance and other days i have to wing it-
like yesterday was : luna bar and a banana
slimfast High protien shake, apple,
Chick-fil-a GRILLED chicken sandwich, diet coke, smart pop popcorn
licked the wrapper from a chocolate pudding and then ate the chocolate pudding
today so far has been
WW toast w/ PB skim milk,
apple, ham wrap w/ veggies, baked lays, a handful of gold fish crackers, luna bar and dinner will be a burger with salad.

I am stressing over oldest daughter - she believes she has found a place in daytona to live near the BF and is in walking distance/ on the bus route to the mall/hospital/college etc. i hope it all works out- it sounds ok -but i gotta worry- no one ever told me it was this hard having older kids and letting them go not knowing if they are gonna be ok or not. at least living up there the busses run every 20 minutes unlike down her where we may get a bus every whenever they feel like running :D
i even made time to :ebike: thursday

well the bikers are in town- we have another week of busy roads, crazed locals trying to run over bikers and loud parties and half naked women. i like the bikers tho as they seem to be more friendly than the race fans.

well i will try to check in tomorrow- MY kitchen is ALL PACKED - except for what i have to have to function - it is either packed or GONE to good will or freecycle- my bedroom is almost done too- and my closets are BARE- can't find my kitchen tabel but i'm having a bit of fun now as opposed to stress over it all - still have room if someone wants to volunteer to come and help me pack:wink: (it's in the upper 70's and we're 5 minutes from the beach):D
:hug: have a great night all !
Sandi

Yes Ice weekly menus work. Not only does it save on the grocery bill but it also gives you an idea of what you will have ahead of time instead of waiting until starved and go for quick food.

Kathy I hope hope hope you get that place to rent. I can't imagine how it feels to not be sure where you are going to live and I say dialup is better than no up. Porky is cute name too btw.

Sandi adult kids are harder than young ones and it is because the control is gone that used to be there. When they are young, you moniter where they are what they do and can stop most all the silly stuff kids do and keep them safe but when they grow up, you have to most of the time just sit and watch and hope for the best. I know you aren't slacking-moving is a busy deal and I am impressed you managed to get on your bike!
Melissa

It was a joke!! ;) I wasn't really implying that any of ~you~ were slacking-JUST >>ME<<!!! And I still am:( Haven't been to Curves or the gym today. The girls are at the movies right now, so maybe when they get home I can talk them into watching McKenna and Sam while I go to the gym. I have ate OP all day though, so I am happy! Being stressed out over not knowing if we will get the house usually would send me to the food, but I REALLY want to see good numbers on the scale Monday. The lady said she will let me know either way sometime this evening.:crossed: Hubby and I have already talked about it though, and I will not get upset this time. It's not worth it. When we complain about our circumstances, we are complaining about what God has given us. All we can do is see what He provides for us! I see that in you Melissa! You very rarely complain about those precious children you've been given. You are such a strong woman! We all admire you so much!:grouphug:

My food for the day-
Bfast-smart start cereal w/1% milk, tea, small apple
Lunch-1 ww bread w/PB, handful of kids cereal
Dinner-Grilled chicken ceasar salad from McD, brought home and put my own FF dressing on it!! Diet coke
4.5 glasses of water so far
I will probably eat something later, it's only 5:17. I will try, though, to not eat after 8 pm!

Okay-puppy is now named "Trouble"! It's his favorite thing!! I still haven't got the camcorder out though! I still need to read the dang manual to figure out how to do the still pictures. I think I need to buy a bigger memory card though-any one know anything about this stuff??? It came with an 8MB. Someday I'll figure it out?:?:

Well, the movie is almost over, gotta go pick up the girls. I'll check back in if the people call about the house!

Kathy

I was kidding too! :) about slacking- really it was me feeling guilty for licking the pudding lid and then eating the pudding! - by saying i 'm not slacking i tried (and failed ) to convince myself it was ok to eat the pudding even tho it wasn't FF/SS

Kathy - prayers being sent for you to get this house!
Melissa- it's just so hard to "let" go altho i really like this BF maybe becasue he's older and has his act together.
dial up is better than nothing but after using MIL computer today it was SO AWESOME to use high speed! I was giddy with it and will prolly be on LOTS! I can even IM people as on high speed i don't get kicked off :carrot:
it doesn't take much to entertain me :) I love computers and high speed :lol:
tomorrow i am planning to eat ligt for brekfast & lunch as for dinner we are having a beautiful pork roast and potatoes and veggies and pork roast is a bit high on my list of "you shouldn't eat that" things.
well i am off to finish laundry before bed - have to help with the children's church tomorrow - and i am listing all the rest of my stuffs on ebay - thank goodness i don't have much more to sell- MIL & I now have a wholesale account with a doll company and may start selling dolls soon- i can't believe the markup!
:hug: to all !
Sandi

:carrot: :carrot: :carrot:
WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!!!
YEAH WE GET TO MOVE!!
Thanks for the prayers!!
:carrot: :carrot: :carrot:

OK, I haven't been OP very much this month so I started my food diary once again yesterday. Here's the damage.
Dove chocolate (small)-50 cal.
Turkey sandwich--300 cal.
Slim Fast Optima Drink-190 cal.
Slim Fast muffin bar--140 cal.
Popcorn--100 cal.
Ham Sandwich--325 cal.
cottage cheese & carbcontrol fruit salad--100 cal.
Slim fast muffin bar--190 cal.

Total calories--- 1345

44 oz water & ONLY 2 diet dews (a biggie for me).

I find that writing everything down as I eat it keeps me on track better. I don't do well planning menus as DH diet is so odd and I cook very little right now. I am addicted to the chocolate chip Slim Fast muffin bars. They are really good.

Fancy, So glad to hear you got the house!!!

Melissa, I'm sorry that Kate is not being an adult and taking care of her children. I am glad however that they are lucky enough to have you to step up and take care of them, they are very fortunate in that respect.

Sandi- keep it up! I'm with Melissa, I don't see how you found the time to exercise with all the packing you are doing. Good luck on the moving. I told my DH next time we move, we sell everything with the house, pack our suitcases and run for the hills!!! I HATE moving!!

I am still struggling with the same 4-5 pounds, they disappear for a few days then sneak back when I'm not watching. My goal this month is to break into onderland before my doc appt the end of the month.

I'm going to try to do an exercise dvd before going to bed. See you all later!!!

Suzette

Congrats to everyone on the progress we are making! Seems like we are doing a lot better this month!

WHOOHOO Kathy on the house!! That's awesome! I remember what a great feeling that is! CONGRATS!!

I'm having a good March so far except that it is dreary and SNOWING today. I am ready for spring! Llama shows start already in April and I am ready to get out there and get them groomed and working in the halter.

I am struggling to get along with my mother these past few weeks. She lives with us and I love her and usually we get along great but she has been so critical of me lately and every chance she gets she tries to get in some negative dig about the way I eat or my weight or how I don't buy my kids enough junk food or whatever else she can think of to try and make me feel bad about trying to keep myself and my family healthy. She is overweight and was trying to lose weight for a few weeks and had started exercising but now she has completely given it all up and I think instead has decided to try to make me feel like I am doing all the wrong things. I don't saying anything to her about what I eat or what she eats but she just won't leave me alone about it. I am just frustrated and tired of it and avoiding her just because I'm tired of defending myself about it.

Other than that, I am doing great food and exercise wise. Yesterday I went in to the school and ran 3 miles in 32 minutes and did 30 minutes on the elliptical. I had never used that machine before but I was impressed with the workout. This morning I did a couple of Denise Austin DVD's so I'm good for the day.

I think it's great that everybody is posting their menus! I usually don't think much ahead of time what I am going to have for meals (except that every Sunday night is homemade low fat pizza on whole wheat crust night...my favorite!). I do know that food planning and journalling and calorie counting really helps most people, though.

Things i have learned today:
I am too old to go out and play kickball with a bunch of 4-7 year olds
I am too outa shape to play kickball with them ( for now)
stepping in a hole & twisting one's ankle while running for a base hurts like HECK
cookies eaten on Sunday have no calories - especially if you break them apart before eating them ( all the calories leak out)
I am addicted to the new slimfast optima - high protein shakes

I need to go list things on ebay
i just wanted to check in and list my menus for today

scrambled egg whites w/ veggies
WW toast
too many chocolate cookies ( broken apart before eating)
tea
slimfast shake
dinnner will be pork roast , potatoes , squash and carrots

YAY! Kathy on the house!
I know Suzette- i am SO ready to just toss it all and forget about it- making decisions on what to keep is the hardest as we are down sizing so much- finding boxes isn't easy either and i am too cheap to buy them at 5.00 a piece.
sandi

Kathy that is sooooo wonderful about your house! One less thing to deal with now.

Believe me Sandi I know it is so very hard to let go. I still find myself even with all this mess trying to "fix" things for Katy. I still stop myself from trying to track her down and hopefully talk some sense into or have her ambushed for rehab. I will have to adopt Logan and it is just so final for Katy when that happens. No chance of being a mommy to him ever.

Misty good job starting food diary again. With the crazy way you work, I am amazed at what you accomplish. I know I would be a basket case most of the time.

Ok still kind of winging food as I have just been nuts trying to get the house back in regular order and my stupid vacuum is dieing-poor thing just is giving up the ghost.

Breakfast
packette of oatmeal

Lunch
hotdog w/bun
orange

Dinner
roast
red potato
salad
2T dressing
roll
2t butter

Hope I didnt' miss anyone and I am with you sandi about kickball and I think it is true about broken cookies too. lol
Melissa

I like the idea of the cookies LOL if it were only true I'd break eveything up :dizzy: .
March started off good, I went to Curves twice last week, :dancer: my butt of Friday, probablly had a couple to many cause i didnt get off the couch :headache: yesterday till 4:30, so I brought the kids skating to make up for being a lousy mom all day. I didnt skate but the fresh cold air was great. I am going to take the dog for walk after supper, the sun is out and shining beatifully. I have thought about getting out my old :belly: vidoes, after Friday night, a couple of us were talking about it, and I remember I did one move and my *** hurt for a week, so it worked. I have 4 vidoes, the intro which is the basic moves so you can do it, arms and abs, butt and thigh, and the work out, I figure if ia can do one every morn before work, then Curves 3 times a week after work plus taking my dog for a walk it will be lots. I just have to get off my butt. I KNOW I CAN DO IT, I JUST HAVE TO DO IT.
Well keep up the good work ladies.

I have been hiding out. It's a new week and I hope to do better than the last few days. Lots of distress with oldest and yougest sons. I am trying to stay away from their issues. They must solve their own problems and they are not asking for help, so I seem to just wait and worry. I think I'm using their problems as an excuse to not do what i need to do for me. As long as I am paralized by wait and worry, I get nothing done and I feel awful. So I need to change this behavior of mine. When I feel that everything is a mess, I eat because what's the point of wanting to lose all this fat, when I am a mess in every other way. I know it's unproductive thinking and I need to change. Writing it down here helps.
Food for today:
breakfast lunch after a 10:00 class at the training center
omelette with cheese and sausage
fruit
dinner is out tonight because we are going to the city to take my mom out so it will be my favorite cobb salad with shrimp.
snacks will be fruit.
Kathy _ I am glad yougot the house. Life with the kids is easier when everyone has a place to go to.
Melissa- Even tho you are adopting Logan, Katy might still recover and be a big part of his life. She is so young to lose it all and there is hope.
I'm glad to see there is energy in our group again. Spring is coming and it will help us all.
Laura

I ended up at urgent care yesterday afternoon and have a bad sprain w/ torn ligaments in my left ankle. - i thought a sprain WAS stretched/ torn ligaments- where's suzette she can tell me :) no more kickball for me! i wouldn't have gone normally but when i couldn't walk on it and it kept swelling and turning green & purple i got worried.

well kathy i hope your moving goes easier than mine- i am almost packed BUT oldest daughter still has her stuff in my living room and i have no room for my STUFF! i am going to ahve to be rude and tell her it needs to go - she has a place to live now and just needs a job so she can get it together this time.

i am so close to being ready to move- i am so tired of my house being a mess-
it's a somewhat organized mess but still.
I ran into an old GF this a.m. and found out she is now living 4 blocks from where i am moving and she wants to walk too so i will have another walking buddy.
I am eating good - most days-just not exercising and now being on crutches for the next week isn't helping either.
food today: slimfast optima shake
banana
lunch is a tossed salad w/ tuna
apple
dinner will be i have no idea at this time-
if i get hungry i will have a luna bar or popcorn.

Sandi

Just popping on real quick-Michelle will be here soon and I am just not worrying anymore about how things look. Hard when the caseworker is so young and has no children-they just have no idea and have very high expectations ect. I have to admit though she is a really nice gal. All the kids are bathed and smelling pretty, dishes done, floors swept or vacuumed and now I am ready for a stinking nap lol.

Sorry to hear about your crutches! This is not the best time for that to happen considering moving day is getting closer and you are not being a meany asking daughter to get her stuff. I am going thru that too with mine. I have been waiting to hear from her so I could tell her. She has a week to get it or I am taking it all down to goodwill-I just haven't been able to talk to her at all.

I know dinner is waffles-Odessa asked for them and every now and then I make them a breakfast dinner. I had a smoothie at breakfast and a roll with butter at lunch time-these kind of days are hard when I am trying to make a good impression LOL.

Will be back later
Melissa

Sandi- be careful with a torn ligament. Do your best to let it heal.
I have a new idea for us. How about if we each post one excuse we use to eat. Just one each so we can react to each other and then if we wish we can each post another.
My number one excuse is stress. (I have lots of others)
When I am totally stressed I feel 2 things. One is I need the food to feel better, and the other is -why not, I'm an emotional wreak, failure, mess etc. so what difference does it make if I am fat too?
Laura

Sandi---I have had that same injury when I was in High school!! I stepped in a groundhog hole while chasing my cousin (I was going to knock him into next week). The only fun that came out of it was watching when the class bully tried to push me off my crutches saying I was faking it. I unwrapped my purple, green & black ankle that was the size of a softball and watched HIM turn green, he ran to the bathroom & threw up. For some reason he never bothered me again, go figure!! So, take care of your ankle, let it have time to heal, (think of yourself as the queen ordering her subjects to do her slightest whim. Work it girl!)

Ok Laura, my #1 eating excuse is feeling to tired to make something good to eat. Why not just go through a drive thru.

Melissa, I know everything went fine for you. Michele must know that you are the best thing those children have in their lives.
Now for the food diary.

Sunday
Chicken carbonera--530 cal.
yogurt--100 cal.
WW cake with SF pudding--280 cal.
Slim fast shake--190 cal.
Slim fast muffin--140 cal.
Dove choc poece--50 cal.

Total calories--1290.

Monday--
Cheese bite ---50 cal.
2 yogurts--200 cal.
Slimfast muffin--140 cal
Ham sandwich--325 cal.
That is all so far today. I may have some more of the carb control fruit salad later, about 90 cal. So far today I just haven't been hungry but have tried to make myself eat a little something ever so often so that I don't get that famished feeling.
I really need to start exercising and get the flabby arms and thighs toned up. I am going to the beach this year, I wouldn't go last year because of my weight. NOT this year!!!

well that's my chapter for today!

Have good night everyone,
Suzette

congrats on the house kathy! that's awesome :D
i'm sorry about you ankle sandi.. hope you're feeling better soon. :(
i think my main excuse to eat these days is i feel like it, and can make up for it later. like, it's the weekend, i'll do better on monday. or monday, it's a long day, i need to eat more.. etc. i need to focus on being op everyday. i won't eat less tomorrow to make up for today. i'll probably eat more, because i will slowly develop a habit of eating more, and when i don't need to.
what i ate today so far..
breakfast (if you can call it that, at 3:30 a.m.)
yogurt and granola (225)
snack (280)
luna bar (180)
peanut butter (100)
lunch (550)
chicken burrito (500)
nibbles :devil: (50, i guess)
dinner (590)
proably a ravioli bake or tacos (350 or 300)
maybe wine also (240)
not a good day, but it is including many more hours than usual. tomorrow i will sleep late and eat less (see what i mean??)

Carrie-I do that too-I'll make up for it tomorrow or the next day and of course that never happening because it's impossible to do.
i don't do the drive thru because I just don't do fast food anymore. But I do take the quick way out and waste my calories on ice cream or a grilled cheese sandwich which leaves me hungry and wanting more. Lots of nights I just don't want to make yet another meal, mess up the kitchen and spend an hour making something that is gone in 5 minutes, and takes another 1/2 hour to clean up. I would like to have a permanent salad bar set up in my kitchen and the kitchen fairy would just keep loading it up and cleaning up.
Laura

lol laura. when i worked in a cafeteria, the thing i dreaded the most at closing time was the possibility of being assigned to close down the salad bar. if only there had been a kitchen fairy where i used to work! :lol:
i did find a good alternative to the whole salad bar/cleaning up the kitchen thing, although i haven't done it in awhile.. i used to chop up everything for a couple days of salad at once and mix everything in tupperware bowls (with some lime wedges for freshness, and no dressing.) i had salad all the time, because it was already there in the fridge. but then it got too hard to even do that two times a week or so. grr. i am so lazy!

I used to do that too. It was fun for the kids. I would put out bowls of cut up stuff and they would take what they wanted. Now I try to make enough salad for 2 nights and put one in a zip lock where it all gets gooey.
When I win the lottery, the first thing I get is a chef.
Laura

me too! a chef would be lovely esp. one who does dishes :)
I hope this doesn't upset anyone- my GF sent it to me and thought it was too funny

I thought i would pass on this Interesting Psychological Fact...

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry
Has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds
attractive on a man can differ depending on where she
is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is
Ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and
Masculine features. However, if she is menstruating,
Or menopausal, she tends to prefer a man with scissors
Lodged in his temple and him moaning in pain while he is on fire.
Further studies in this area have been cancelled.


food today is not worth mentioning- i am so upset & stressed i don't want to eat - theres a first- not even hungry at all.
i'll prolly lose it later and eat everything in sight
:hug: to all
Sandi

Sandi I luved that,it is so true LOL.
well yesterday I walked 2 km, ate, a pair, jumbo hotdog, half order of onion rings, for supper was a pork stirfry, then I had some crackers with speg sauce ham and cheese, for snack.
today I had 1/2 a subway melt lots of lettuce, 2 beef baritos** just hamburg,bbq sauce, wrapped in a fahita** with melted cheese on top, and for a snack I m gonna have a apple.
I went to Curves today and another 2 km walk.
omg I just re-read what I ate no wonder, for sure it must help to see it in black and white, I have go to do better. Oh well can't change the past only work on the future.
Take care ladies.

ROFLMBO! NO wonder I feel the way I do-it isn't my fault ROFL! Very hectic day today as I had to be at an IEP meeting for josh at 9a this morning. I pulled up and then there were cop cars and I am like ok what did I do??? Well it was a kid in josh's class in crisis and it was so bad the cops had to be called. I said a quick prayer for the parents and the little boy too. I was relieved that I knew Josh wasn't at school yet so it couldn't be him. Meeting ran long but it was a really good one and she will be josh's teacher next year too and so from now till end of next year we have to try and get him ready for middle school. It just doesn't seem possible he will be 10 in july! So my day is all thrown off and I didn't make the best choices.

Meeting with michelle went really well yesterday too and she was amazed at how much he has grown. Amazing what getting 3 squares a day will do for a kid. It looks like he will be completely mine probably in sept or oct by the time all the red tape is done. How weird is this-I am my son's grandmother when this adoption is done. Boggles the mind.

Off to find the kitchen again and hopefully read to josh a bit too. Need to find out how the kids get away from Count Olaf this time!
Melissa

ooooo:carrot: Kashi has a new cereal out and it is YUMMY
it's the heart to heart w/ blueberries -publix had it this week BIGIF- i could eat it all day ;)

I still have no appetite- i think for once the upset and tension has really gotten to me and i just don't wanna eat- this is a first for me - usually i grab whatever is in sight and eat until i am miserable. but i haven't been hungry these past two days.

I think my #1 excuse is because of "stress" - either real or imagined i feel food will make me happier and it's my friend -when i know it isn't going to fix anything and i know it won't make me happier - the "wrong" foods will only make me fatter. but i don't process the logic when i am stressed.

yesterday i had a slimfast and a luna bar, banana & at night i had some chicken and noodles- the only reason i do the slimfast high protein is becasue i am a chocolate junkie and it has lots of fiber, vitamins and protein so i don't feel like i am cheating on chocolate.

today i've had a bowl of the new kashi and skim milk and a banana- have no idea what to have for lunch today- dinner will be salsbury Steaks( made w/ ground turkey) & veggies.

sandi

Sandi- I so agree with you about eating because it will make you feel better and not processing the results. That says it all.
This might sound like a cliche but now that i am working out I am seeing my body much more and not hating it as much, and therefore being more aware of abusing it by eating crap or too much. I feelbetter, I can move easier and I can see some small changes all of which are helping me from falling too far off OP. After so many years of avoiding mirrors and wearing big shirts and hiding out, i am forced to look, and I know there are some things that will never change, like scars and blue veins, but there is hope.
This post sounds very toudhy feely gooey, but it's true.
On excuses- Another excuse I use for eating too much is hopelessness. It will take too long, it's too hard, so just eat.
Laura
Laura

Today's food
Omelette with sausage and cheese and veggies
frozen fruit bar
yogurt and frozen mango shake
I can't think about dinner yet.
Laura

i agree with the hopelessness- it seems i will never make strides - i will never lose this weight - and on and on and on- BUT then i see how far some of us have come and i think i am so whiny- i don't have so much to lose- so i need to get off my butt and move- (as soon as foot/ankle heals)and just do it.
and no your post is just fine- very honest and true.
Melissa- :hug: to you- Logan will be a well cared for & loved little boy-he will have a loving family to help him and be there for him- we can still pray kate shapes up and be a good part of his life. and i adore the lemony snicket books- they are great!
Ice- i know when i first wrote down what i was eating in a day it was sad- i was like i ATE THAT??? my eating is good but i am not exercising at all and that isn't helping me at all- i am not gaining but i am not losing either.

oh well -on to rest ankle and chill till dinner

Well I am totally bummed. It looks like I am going to be moving after all. My rent will be doubling if I stay here and there is just no way I can do it that I can see anywhere. I would like to just go to bed right now. House hunting with all the kids packing ect-ugh! I am not sure what I am going to do really.
Melissa

Oh my Melissa, just what you need. How much time do youhave to find a place?
Laura

I am so sorry Melissa! I know how hard it is to look, and then to pack and move everything! :hug: Stay strong!:hug: :hug: Wish I was closer to help you out! If you need someone to sit with the kids you can call my daughter Grace. She is not far from you and she has LOTS of experience being the oldest of 6!! Right now she watches a 1 month old on Thursdays.
I hope you find something quickly that is affordable!
Hugs!!!
Kathy

oo melissa i am so sorry- how quick do you have to move??
maybe there's a church or other non- profit in the area that can help ?? a lot have what is called mom's day out where they will watch the kids for a day for free- I know many kids in our youth group have helped lift boxes etc..when someone was moving.
:hug: to you
and take Kathy up on her offer of her daughter- she must have lots of experience! :)
is there anyway the social worker can help you find a place?? there has to be housing assistance for you with all the kids.
I know i am babbling - just thinking what i can do to help while being so far away so i can't physically help.
it's so hard in this country to get decent affordable housing, and it's not getting easier.
we know a family who came back to this area cause they lost everything in Mississippi due to Katrina and they just found out the insurance comapny won't pay a penny to them as they said it was a flood and they didn't have flood insurancecause they didn't live in a flood zone. so not only did they lose their home and belongings BUT they still have a mortage they are told they have to pay -and they can't get assistance because last year they made lots of money but this year they have nothing- but the assistance is based on from the past 12 months income- does that make sense?? i always have said don't depend on the GVT to help you -you have to take care of yourself and your own family.- ok enough :soap: sorry

Stood in the Easter Candy Aisle and people must have thought i was crazy as i had a conversation with myself:
" oooo Chocolate Bunnies"
"No you don't want the calories"
But no one will know- if I have 1 chocolate Bunny
"yeah you'll feel guilty and confess it and candice will tell you what crud was in the bunny"
"Not if i don't tell anyone"
"You'll feel guilty and HAVE to tell them"
so anyway i put the bunny back and went on my way-after i read the calorie count of 350 calories and 17 grams of fat :eek:
:hug:
Sandi

Not sure how it is going to work. Apparently landlord can't sign a year lease with me and it is supposed to happen with a rent increase-so housing may just tell me to move which she still isn't sure if she is going to be able to keep the house or if it will sold in her divorce and I just don't want anything last minute. Mom has boxes and I will start packing non-essentials and as soon as I hear from rental officer start looking. I have no idea what amount of rent is my range or if because I have logan now I am eligable for 4 bedroom which would be nicer for all the kids since i have all 3 babies in one room right now and plus not sure about getting another baby this summer or not either. I just hate moving is all and I really want josh to stay in the school he is in now-he is doing so well there. So will know more tomorrow I guess as to what i am looking for and I just may take grace to watch kids for me. I do have a sister in law like 6 blocks from me too so will see what happens. Rental officer told me to call volunteers of america, catholic community services and also welfare office to see about help with new deposit so that will mean more paperwork again-when is mr. joe millionaire gonna leave me all his money????? ROFL

Katrina was NOT a flood-it was a giant tidal wave tsunami hurricaine whatever you want to call it but it was not a flood and I would be fighting them tooth and nail on that one. floods come from rivers and streams not the ocean. Bad enough to lose everything but then to pay all that time on insurance just to be messed over is so wrong plus a mortgage for a house that isn't there anymore! Legalized extortion is what insurance is in my opinion. Now I will get off my box too lol.
Melissa

hi everyone! i'm so sorry you have to move melissa. moving is a pain, even without kids. hopefully you will get an even better house.
well i have not been good today. i finally broke down and made the banana bread dh has been wanting me to make for so long. i have been putting it off because i knew if i made it, then i would want to eat it :devil:. so even though i knew i had this banana bread at home, i had a cupcake at work. grrr.
breakfast (280)
yogurt/jelly/granola (280)
lunch (760)
roast beef sandwich (300)
cupcake (200, i guess. they're small)
banana bread (260)
dinner
don't know yet, but something with around 300 calories. i don't want to go over again today! depends on dh what it is though.

food for today
omelette with sausage cheese and veggies
fruit
yogurt and mango shake
salmon and brussels sprouts and salad
grapes
20 minutes on the elliptical and a 1 hour class on muscle activation

I am keeping what Sandi said about not processing when stressed in my head, I hope.
Laura

Just poppin in to let everyone know I am going to be hit and miss for while. Between house hunting and packing and kids not sure how much puter time I will actually get. I did pack my first two boxes today but I just have to trust the perfect place is there for me. Still waiting to hear about how many bedrooms and rental cap I have before I get too lookyloo happy. Hopefully this will all go very quickly and I can get back to my normal.
melissa

Melissa-Good luck and HUGS :hug: :hug: to you!! I pray that this will be as stress free as possible!! God will lead you to where you and the kids need to be.
Good night!!

Kathy

good luck melissa! i'm sure there is a place for you and your kids that will be perfect. even if you don't have time to post, we will all be thinking of you and praying your move goes smoothly.
yay! finally a good calorie day. thank goodness for tofu shirataki! how else could i eat fettucini alfredo? i know i probably didn't spell that right, but perhaps it is a good diet omen to know so little of "fettucini" that i can't even spell it.
i would post all the gory details of my menu today, but i'm kinda tired and i keep on making typos and have to go back and fix them. i think that means it's time for bed :devil:.

Food today

1c strawberries
1 go lean fiber bar
1 WW tv dinner
gr salad
2T dressing

I am just going to be tough on myself here for awhile as I really need to get some weight gone here pdq with the move coming. Last time I had to move, I was miserable for days afterward cause the bones were just protesting something fierce.

melissa

food today:
yogurt/jelly/granola (280)
sf jello (10)
oreo crisps (100)
1 c ice cream (250)
2 cans of soup (460)
luna bar (180)
1 cupcake :devil: (200)
1580
gosh, it all adds up quick, doesn't it?
i really need to go to the gym. i have been slacking in a big way.

We have alot of MIA'S again. Yesterday went much much better finally.

Today
1c strawberries
1 Kashi protein/fiber bar
1 WW tv dinner
lg salad
2T dressing
snack if needed
piece of fruit or popcorn

I have been drinking the water again and it really does make a difference. Got another box packed and freecycled some things too. I just don't want to move anything I don't have to. I talked to mom and I am getting merrymaids to come in after all the stuff is out and just give it a once over. With all the kids it is going to be next to impossible to do anything with all of them. It was hard enough when I had just dess and amananda. They were tired and cranky and had nothing to do so worth it to pay them to do it. Kind of excited really about the move although the act of moving doesn't thrill me so will see what great house God has for me!
Melissa

Hello All. It's Monday again. Yesterday wasn't too good. Too much little bits that add up. Today will be better.
Food for today so far.
Bread and cheese for breakfast.
Yogurt mango shake for lunch
Can't think about supper yet.
DH wants to go food shopping, so I will wait.
Melissa, I wish I could help you.
Laura

HI everyone, sorry I have been MIA but my schedule is truly grueling lately. Not getting any better either, I'm scheduled for 6 days this week, 12 hour shifts, starting tonight. I'm going to have to tell my manager that after this week I need to cut down on extra shifts, I just can't keep this pace up much longer.

I went to the gym this am and got a splitting headache within 5 minutes of walking through the door. This is the 4th time this has happened in as many visits. I'm beginning to think it's something at the gym.

Melissa, I hope you find a fantastic new place. Somehow it helps the moving when the new place is better than the old. I know God will send you to the right home, you'll know it when you walk through the door. That's what happened to us when we found our home 1 1/2 years ago.

As for the food, I've done okay, not great, but not too bad. I am still on a major plateau but I think stress is a major factor in that.

Well I just wanted to say hi and let you all know I am still kicking. I probably won't be posting this week due to work. If I get a chance I will drop in.

My new motto--- Embrace chaos. (My house is in chaos, no time to clean very well, so instead of stressing about it I WILL accept it as the way life must be for now) (pretty good excuse isn't it LOL!!)

Suzette

holy cow! the temptations at work never stop! today i could not stop eating little pieces of an old-fashioned doughnut that had been marked out. just because it's free doesn't mean i should eat it!
suzette, does your gym have a pool? maybe it's the chlorine in the pool. that bugged me at my gym, especially at first.
breakfast (280)
yogurt/granola/jelly (280)
lunch (400)
luna bar (180)
1/2 doughnut (220) :mad:
dinner (935)
shrimp/shirataki (150)
2 ff brownies (220)
2 g wine (240)
muffin pizza (225)
1615
doughnut aside, at least i lost another pound. yay! 130s! never thought i'd see it!!

hey everyone:wave:
Between moving and work being crazed and all the little other thingys happening i have been lost some where -
just no time at all to post or read or anything
This saturay is actual moving day and i am so ready for it.
stress and tension & worry are now being deemed as exercise- at least for this month anyway.
I was doing soooo good on food and water and even exercising and then BAM -there was an incident involving oldest daughter this weekend and all i did sunday & Monday was eat- why do i do this to myself??
and today isn't too much better. although i have been eating good foods- i am eating way too much of them. (with the exception of the piece of chocolate lava cake) I am afraid i have to go back to the begining and start all over again- i am afraid to step on the scale too-
Suzette: I love it! Embrace chaos- maybe that should be my new saying for right now too- You are too busy!!!!-back in the day i would work those long shifts like 12-14 hours for 10 -12 days straight- now i can't imagine pulling a 12 hour shift
Candace- :carrot: whoop way to go on getting to the 130's :dance: you must be on :cloud9: just remember most donuts are made with beef lard or tallow-eww just thinking lard.
Melissa- i wish i could help too- prayers being sent your way along with :hug:
Laura- i tried a mango fruit smoothie (FF/SF) the other day cause i read about your mango shakes and they sounded so yummy
I am embarressed to post my food for the last few days- lets just say i prolly have eaten enough calories for 8 days instead of 3-4
I'll try and check in tomorrow-

sandi

Sorry, I've been MIA, too. But we are finally done moving!:carrot: Except for finding places for all my stuff! This house is 3 times the size of what I moved out of, but I now have to put up shelves so I can put all my stuff away! Melissa and Sandi, :hug: I feel for you both!! I hope you find something soon, Melissa!!
My food hasn't been too bad, but I have gotten NO exercise this whole last week:mad: I do have my treadmill in my bedroom now, I just need to take the boxes off of it:dizzy: I really want to get to 222(50 pounds lost) but I seem to be staying between 222.5-224 the last week and a half!! BOOHOO! I know, I know, get off my behind and get some exercise!!
Let's keep it up though girls, summer is just around the corner! (As the snow falls outside my window!!)

Check in later,
Kathy

So far today:
Cheese and bread and orange
salad with shell fish and 1 piece of bread (lunch out)
ice pop.
poached fish in tomato onion and veggies (sounds awful)
8 pecans
2 tablespoons of mango sorbet (my new most favorite thing in the world)
Laura

omg that is so gross. doughnuts.. never again!
but i do love mango sorbet! not only does it taste better than a lot of ice cream, but it has half the calories. yay!
so far today, food is
yogurt/granola (245)
luna bar (180)
3/4 cup light ice cream (200)
probably tacos, shrimp shirataki, or a muffin pizza later (or some combination of those). but gym tonight for sure!

The problem with mango sherbet is that I hear it calling me from the fridge all day long and I have to pass it by. A serving is a 1/2 cup so there are 4 in a container, so it's got to last 4 days at least. It's true Carrie, it's better than ice cream. I never thought that could be possible.
Food today is not too good.
Omelette with cheese and sausage 400 calories
grilled cheese sandwich 400 calories
sherbert 80
icepop 80
orange 50
2 T tuna salad 75
5 pecans 50
2 slices salami 100
I'm still hungry. This was an unfocused, picky day.
Laura

what is also really good is coconut sorbet. but it has double the calories of the fruity ones. but it is the best!! still less calories than ice cream though.
i know what you mean about unfocused, picky, hungry days. i have them all the time.. i keep on snacking! usually healthy stuff, not junk.. but it's not filling! i stay hungry no matter how much i eat on those days. recently, sf jello cups have been saving my bacon. i'll have one of those to try and kill a craving to snack. if it doesn't work, and i actually am hungry for something real, then what the heck, it was only 5 calories.. i can still have a real meal ;)
holy cow. artificial sweeteners really are my best friend. splenda is splendid :lol:

I will have to look for the sorbets. Thank you all for the well wishes! I got the paperwork in although landlord still hasn't returned my phone call-that drives me nuts! Dr. appointment went well. Logan is 22lbs 6oz and 29 inches tall! Dr. said he is so healthy I dont' have to bring him in till he is 15months now. Amanda is going to need speach therapy so I will have to figure out how I am going to pull that one off. I have gotten some boxes packed and now I am going to have to start looking. I have cps caseworker here again today with katy at 2p. Katy was in jail again for not showing for court. I am stressed out. Food is ok but not what it should be and it is going to get kind of ugly here soon as it will be convenient foods and paper plates ect. I am so trying to make this smooth as possible for everyone. Odessa thinks she is moving into a treehouse. I asked her if we were going to go to a new house and she said "yep a treehouse". I will check back again-haven't forgotten anyone.

Glad you are moved Kathy!
Melissa

lol melissa.. what is it about kids that they love treehouses? although, i must say, i am 25 and i still think it would be pretty cool to have a treehouse :lol:
i ate so much junk yesterday that figuring out the calories is going to be impossible (not to mention depressing). i think i will skip any st. patrick's day parties next year. corned beef -- never again!
today so far so good. i had a big breakfast, but it was filling enough that i am having a small late lunch. very late i guess, because it is 7:30 and i haven't had it yet. breakfast was omelet and fruit, lunch is shirmp shirataki. dinner will probably be small too. maybe a muffin pizza.

Sure is quiet in here :( I miss everyone! Hope everything is well with you all. Food has been terrible the last few days, don't know if I will even step on the scale Monday morning. Might wait till next Monday, or maybe next month!! I keep telling myself, "Stay out of the kitchen, you are not hungry!" But I end up eating something anyway:mad: I've got to get some control here!! It didn't help that Thursday was Caitlyn's 13th birthday and there was cake, ice cream and pizza-and yes, I had some of it all:(
Well, I better go to bed before I wander back into the kitchen!

Kathy

I'll join you all who were not OP the last few days. We went to Maine and twice had lobster dinners. Tons of food. Not OP.
Today started out with breakfast out and dinner will be out too, but I am hoping to come out ok with calories.
Where is everyone? We need to pull together.
Laura

i am moved and finally sorta have internet - i guess you could say all of our stuff is over here and the old place is a mess- i can't believe how much work we have to do and i am usually organized. - i am tired- i ache & i either have a really bad bug or it's a really bad allergy attack from dust- SORE throat - ears hurt- hard to breathe - coughing - swollen glands- no fever- but UGH

it's kinda hard getting used to things here- even tho i 've been told you need to act like this is your home etc. i still feel like i am intruding- maybe that isn't the right word- i don't know - hubby says i am being silly- it's just hard to explain- things are a bit different here and i feel weird- i guess with it being his parents he's used to them.
food has been horrible- and i mean horrible- i am afraid to get on the scale- i ate at wendys the other day and at mcdonalds and no i didn't make healthy choices adn today was awful with breakfast out and chinese buffett- but i was careful at the chinese place and didn't eat the "badie" foods.
I need to get back on track - this whole move has made me crazed- i am so emotional and just cry at the drop of a hat. I have 3 days off this week and will take full advanatge of getting it together!
My daughter's school has a "tree house" in their computer center/ library and they can climb the ladder and read - it's not too high up there but the kids LOVE IT!
:hugs: to all and i am back cause i need all the support i can get- especailly now that i was "off the wagon" for a week.

don't feel bad sandi.. i think we are all off the wagon recently. i didn't realize how much i had let the wagon get away from me until i got on the scale yesterday and i was up four pounds. yikes! i was really upset about it, but there isn't anything to do except get back on track and start eating op again. so i am going to start out this week right and really watch those calories and stay away from sweets like the plague.
maybe it's just me, but maybe it is a good idea to stay away from the scale until good news can reasonably be expected. we all have enough things to stress us out and trigger bad eating without adding scale shock to it.
at least that is what i will blame for that big bowl of ice cream i ate last night :devil:

We all need a fresh start today. I am OP again but I feel awful, fat, tired, irritable, stressed and stupid. But I will stay OP because I will feel even worse if I don't.
Sandi-moving is ranked as the 2nd hardest thing in a woman's life. I hope your 3 days off will help.
Carrie- I can't imagine handling all those sweets and not gaining 100 lbs.
Laura

dh and i just got back from dinner with his folks and i feel like i weigh 580 million pounds. i really tried.. i got broiled shrimp instead of steak, squeezed the living daylights out of some cheese bread so i could have a piece, and scooped out all the butter from my potato and then only ate the skin, but i still feel like i am going to explode. i used to love going out to eat, but now i dread it, because i can't ever stop nibbling at my food after i'm full, and i never know how many calories are in my food.
restaurants that put a dish of peanuts on your table should be banned. i love nuts.
and this was going to be my week to cut back and get back to where i was, weight and calorie-wise. grr.

Hi everyone! Just stopping in for a quick hello. This month has been really bad food wise. I seem to be starving all the time. Right now I'm supposed to not eat or drink anything as I have to get labwork done this am. All I want to do is raid the fridge and eat the brownies dh brought home.
I think I will be canceling my gym membership. I just feel to depressed and frustrated when I go there. I started walking a 3 mile trail in the mornings and it feels so good to be outside in the woods by myself. DH is making noises that he would like to start going to a gym, the one I go to now is for women only so maybe we will join another one together. I want him to start walking some days with me to see if he is serious about getting back into shape.

Melissa, good luck with the house hunting, I hope you find one soon. I am glad that you are getting custody of Logan, that little one deserves some stability in his life.

Sandi, congrats on getting moved. Somethings take time, and getting used to being a part of someone elses home is going to take a lot of time, effort, and compromise on both sides. Hang in there, it will get better.

Candice, I know what you mean about eating out. I think restaurants should have to post calorie counts. I use the Calorie King book. It has a huge listing of calorie counts for major restaurants across the us. (in and out burger is listed;) ) That helps me chose better if I know ahead of time where I'm going. If it's just spur of the moment, I don't do so well!!!

I'm still working nights, it looks like it will be at least May before there's a chance of change. I have already planned to take the first 2 weeks of May off to look for a job with better hours. My contract ends May 25 so I want to have something lined up by then. I guess I need to brush up my resume, I absolutely loathe writing a resume, I just get it either too long or too short, either way it falls short.

Well I guess I will lay back down til time to go to the lab.

Have a great day everyone

Suzette

well this is prolly gonna be a really long post- sorry if i ramble
i feel as if i have been neglecting everyone even tho i know i ahve been crazed- i can't believe how much CRUD we collected living in a place for 6 years- so much JUNK! we took out 42 bags of trash and 15 totes of stuff to goodwill not to mention all the stuff we gave away on freecycle- joices room is all done and she is settled- our room is still a mess as i can't afford the bookcases we need at this time- things are still up in th eair and i am battling this really rotten bug- finally broke down and went to the dr's today when green goop started ozing out of my eyes. turns out my allergies turned nasty on me and i got an infection in my nose, eyes and ears.
we are almost done cleaning at the old place-
i really miss everyone on here and i know so many are busy but as Laura says we need to come together again to support each other.
Melissa- praying for you daily- moving is such a chore and how you can do it with little ones is beyond me- i hope you are getting some help.
candice- i keep picking and picking and picking too- it's like food in front of me = i have to eat it.
:hug: to everyone else-
well i guess i din't ramble too bad-
hope to see everyone back here soon!
Sandi

suzette, i think i will steal your idea of having a book with calorie counts. i usually look things up online, and i have been counting so long, i know the counts for most things i normally eat, but i think it would be a good influence on me to carry a book with calorie counts. sort of like tying a string on your finger to remember something.
my mil gave me a bunch of pastires and snacks she brought back from her trip to taiwan and i haven't been able to resist. she kept on talking about how all the women there are super-tiny, and even though i know it's b.s., i can't help but think if all these super-skinny people eat it, it can't be all that fattening. of course pumkin seeds and sweet rolls are fattening! french chicks are said not to be fat but you don't see me chowing down on brie! i need to get a grip. my usual self-control has been nil the past couple of days. i never really thought it was all that great until it spontaneously disappeared.
hope your allergies get better soon sandi. and i totally agree about the picking at food. how come some people can just stop eating? not me. maybe i made a spectacle of myself, but i had to dump the butter that came for my shrimp and potato on the portion of rice and potato i didn't want to eat and smear it all into everything so i would stop eating it. i don't mind being a spectacle anymore though. it's better to be crazy and thin. today i must have really looked nuts when i used about 12 napkins to squeeze the oil out of my "low-fat" "fitness omelet." low-fat my behind. those napkins were all saturated (even after i ordered the omelet "dry.") it was beyond blotting :lol:

helllllooooo where is everyone??
not everyone can be MIA??? :?:
i know you are out there!

Sigh seems as if march is not a good month for anyone.

my FIL does nice things for me - like he brings home a black forest cherry chocolate cherry cake. YUM BUT i didn't eat any YAY me :carrot:
not that i didn't drool over it and almost take a piece but i changed my mind at the last minute and said NO- talk 'bout will power-

hubby is making me insane- he has NO concept of time and what others need to do- and then gets mad about it- makes me want to sit and eat- yeah right that'll show him - not really- but it's weird that when i get stressed beyond belief that i wanna just shovel food in no matter how many calories it takes?
Like today he works all morning- could i get up and take him in at 7:00 so i could have a car till noon and get stuff done ?? Nope the man has to have the car-of course he doesn't get home till 2:40-- then i am fighting with jocie over a book report thats due tuesday and then i have to go into work for an hour tonight and of course i have to make time to cook dinner in there somewhere.... before 5:30 - don't forget for some reason he wanted me to help him at the old house - like i can lift or reach anything there- i just asked what can i do there - also reminding him of everything i had to do today and he blew up- i either wanna eat like crazy OR run away to vegas. it makes no sense to me- i have been so sick all week and busting hump doing work and he gets pissed about me asking well when can i get this done and i have to go into work and when can i do this???
sorry for the :rollpin: i was just pissed- of course he left in a huff and of course he took the freaking car. vegas is sounding better and better.

Ah another reminder why I stay single lol. I am with you for vegas though but for different reasons. I am trying to pack and look for houses and I have officailly changed Logan's name to Worf as he has become a huge Klingon! My arthritis is in full force and it is getting hard to be patient and kind and all the things you need to be with kids. Ibuprophen isn't cutting it and it sucks and pisses me off. I am too stinking young for all this crap. Kate has been here twice-once with the caseworker and that day she was high-second time she wasn't but she was being a real shebegal too and I just wasn't in the mood for it. All I can say it is going to get better...it is going to get better...it is going to get better...I figure if I hear it enough times I will start to believe it. Dad had surgery this last week too and he is doing fine. We all just have to hang in and do what we need to do and that really includes me! Times like this I wish I had something with a little more kick to deal with the pain but I doubt she will give me anything and plus I just need to be on top of my game with all the kids. Off to pack some more and think about dinner for everyone.
melissa

I have been awol since it's so boring to be nibbling all day and unfocused. I am grabbing little things like a handful of grapes, the end of a bread, a slice of salami. It al adds up. Ihave to go back to having nothing in the house that calls to me. I feel like a slug.
Melissa- how much time do you have? Are there places to look at? I bet stress is causing the arthritis flareup.
Sandi- Men can be so foolish. I think it's genetic. they can't fight it.
Laura

I have a bit more time than I first had since the landlord decided to not raise the rent for right now. They go to court may 24th to finalize the divorce so she will know then whether she keeps the house or not. Even if she does, she is going to want more rent and I just don't have it to give. I have kind of been looking and driving around and haven't found anything yet. they just built a new 3 bed at the other end of the alley from my house but I would be nervous putting all my kids into a new house-too much stress so I will keep looking and when I go into housing on thursday they always give a list of places for rent too so I will check them out.

I picked up more boxes today and my ex is being super sweet to me. That is scary! Now I am just waiting for the "can't we make this work" stuff to start too. You would think after 5 yrs he would figure out I am not interested. Just talked to my daughter and she has a job. I am not happy about it as it is a strip club. She said she is waitressing there but geez! I guess I should just be happy she isn't stripping and working but it is hard. She wants to come over tomorrow. I just don't want to deal with them anymore-sounds awful but it is true. Packing is going well and after thursday will be out at least 3 days a week looking at places.
Melissa

oh melissa, i am sorry about kate and the strip club job. don't let her make you feel like you ought to be happy about it if you aren't. my best friend used to strip and it is a terrible envirnoment. the strippers are almost all on drugs, and even if they aren't, it's very drug friendly. also, the waitresses usually are just dancers that also serve food and drinks. hopefully she will find another job.

No I am definately not happy about it at all. I guess besides praying I can hope she loses this job like she has all her others. She doesn't have a very good work record for keeping jobs. She says that is all she does is serve food and drinks but it is definately not the environment she should be in. I am going to need to take Odessa to the library. She is going on and on about books in the library and she is also asking where our treehouse is lol.
melissa

Melissa- type in Treehouses on yahoo search and you get lots of pics of them.
I am sorry kate is working where she is- i hope she can get out of that lifestyle- i just don't understand sometimes- we raise our kids to be a certain way and then KABAM- they do something totally so out of the world that you would never expect your child to EVER do and it's so mind boggling that you are in shock- ok- i am talking about me & my oldest but i think you understand the picture. I mean we work our butts off & give up stuff and make sure they are raised with the knowledge of right and wrong and then we stress and binge when they do something totally STUPID! i have no idea how you deal with it along with everything else you have to put up with.
I am trying to eat better but all i want to do in eat- and pick and nibble and eat and eat more and i am not even hungry
i did get to order bookcases so that will help get me outa boxes
i feel as if all i ever do is whine and fuss.
i will say i am loving the DSL and my FIl won't let me do any housework (yet)
well off to get kids from school - got to go to goodwill and look for a beret for jocie
talk at ya'll later

yay! i am so excited! my sister is coming to visit me in a month :D she is coming out here to see a big concert, but since it's only an hour and a half from me, she is going to stay and visit for two weeks. woohoo!
i have been pigging out the past few days. i don't know why. i am eating low-cal things mostly, but i am constantly eating. and i have been craving something sweet after every meal. like right this minute, there is some healthy choice ice cream that is burning a hole in my freezer.

Sherbet and ice pops are filling my need for sweets. I'm thinking of buying a cuisinart ice cream and sherbet machine. You don't need rock salt. Just put the container in the freezer for 8 hours and then mix the ingreds. We have an anniversary coming up and I think that might be a good present.
I'm also loving yogurt and fruit blended with a teaspoon of real sugar. I don't mush it with the hand processor too much so it can be eaten with a spoon and it's very satisfying.
Laura

Laura - that sounds like such a great gift- you can make lo-cal and fresh -no preservative type foods. sounds yummy!one thing i have made was to take fresh fruit and dip it in regular plain or flavored yoghurt and freeze it for a few hours - it was such a refreshing treat - i'd dip bananas in strawberry , strawberries in blueberry flavor and grapes in vanilla. i'd put the pieces of fruit in an ice cube tray and then pour the yoghurt on top of the fruit and freeze. very, very good.
candice- YAY! on the sister coming to visit- you will have lots of fun!

I am in day 2 of my "binge" behavior -I am eating good foods - just eating all the time- except at home cause i don't want anyone to see me do this
i have eaten all my grapes i had measured out for the week , all my cereal packs and who needs to eat 3 bananas in a day? problem i am having is that at my old house i could package everything and take on a daily basis - now i have to buy my stuff on mondays and keep here in my office fridge. so here it is and i have to just swivel my chair two little inches to get at the food and all day long i eat. I am putting back on all my weight and don't care.
well yeah i do care but it's easier to say :snooty: about it all.
I did call the insurance company about a bill and after going over our plan I found out i have good benefits to see a shrink. maybe i should??then i will feel weird?? i try and talk to friends and they just don't get it- all i hear is well just stop eating- and hubby says he doesn't understand but is freaked out cause when i went to the dr's last week , doc said i'd be on insulin unless i dropped 20-25 pounds by the next visit in 3 months. so he just says stop eating -:stress: ARRGH!
:dance: my bookcases were just delivered! YAY! now i will feel better and get out of BOXES - for books and "dust collectors"
ok i am going to do it - i am going to call a shrink- can't hurt and if i think he's a quack i'll not go back- our copay is only 10.00 so it's not like i am wasting lots of money. and if he says to me just stop eating i will kick him in the ankle :p (well not really - but i'll think about it really hard.)
:grouphug:
Sandi

Double Post :)
well i did it- i called one of the docs on the list and have an appt. in two weeks. until then i am to food journal and if i am going to binge to try and binge on healthy foods. too many bananas does not raise ones cholestrol - if i can just stay away from fast food places i will be ok. and i will cross my heart not eat at mcd's or wendy's or any place else that has FAST associated with eating.

i am going to borrow Lauras idea and buy some fruit ice pops- that may kill a craving or two.

ok ladies :drill: at me cause i really need motivation to make it thru the next couple weeks.

Hey sandi don't feel bad about calling a shrink. I miss mine-since medicaid no longer considers autism a mental health issue, I don't go anymore. Of course for her it was mostly ways to deal with joshua but I told her I could only talk about him so much and since I had her for 50 min she was gonna hear it all. She was a good cookie and listened to me. One house looks promising. I haven't seen it yet but my parents put their stamp of approval on it and went and took a peak at it so I trust their judgement. Getting very sparce in here and I just want to move and get it over with.
melissa

Sandi- I am also thinking about a shrink. I have been googling all the names in my insurance co book to see if any of them practice lala kind of stuff. I am anxious all the time. I am not binging at all, just filled with anxiety over youngest son who is falling apart. His wife left. He hardly works, has no money and just waits for her to come back, which I don't think she will ever do. He was horrid to her and now feels all hurt and guilty and is mad that she left. I worry all day that he will do something crazy and get arrested as he has done in the past. It's always minor things,but who knows what can happen. So I am a wreck. I can't fix him. I just worry to the point of paralyasis and I have to do something about it. It's gorgeous out, the garden needs cleaning and I have zero energy. I have a work project that is 2 weeks late, but nonone has noticed. I hate my hair, my body, my dog for shedding and dh for not noticing that I am miserable. Otherwise everything is fine. so I think I need a shrink for sure.
Laura

Amen Melissa- it's like i can't wait to be done with the old place- hubby keeps dragging it out- we got inspected and that went well but he still has all this crappy paint on the back patio and it has been like Get it outa here 3 months ago-i am so tired of it all- at least he put one of my cases together last night and will get the other one done tonight - i may get used to living here- MAY is the key word- i am still ready to chuck it all and run to vegas at times but i am hoping it gets better-
i hope the place is ok for you Melissa and you can move in ASAP so you can enjoy the easter holiday and chill out and get back to normal.

yay!!! big time nsv today! this annoying guy at work who loves to sample out pastries was really pressuring me to eat some of the cupcake he was cutting up. i said no, then no again, and he still wouldn't let up! finally, i was all like "i don't want any! you're being rude!" then he told me i was just "afraid to eat." whatever! what a jerk. but i didn't eat a bite of that danged cupcake, and those are my favorite pastry too.
laura, i am sorry you have been going through all of this drama with your son. hopefully it will get better soon, and you will stop feeling this anxiety. i think it must be hard to not agonize over wayward adult children. my mom says she freaks out even if i tell her i am driving to visit friends two hours away. sheesh. but i am sure i will be the same one day, since i am already all anxious (usually over nothing ;) )

Good for you for telling that guy off-it is rude to push anything on a person after they have already said no-don't care what it is.

Well I had my daughter on my front porch before 9a this morning with nowhere to go-she is still sleeping and totally messing up my day. I have gotten a few things done but not what I want to do. Her drip is supposed to be being released soon and apparently he is collecting unemployment so they can get a studio when he gets out-I will probably see less of her after he is out which is fine. I am not telling her where I move to and michelle said no problem at all and understands why. She will just have to meet me once a week at mcdonalds and see him there as long as david isn't in tow-visit will be over then. Just tired of her messing things up!
melissa

candice: in the mood i am in this week- i would have said to the guy"are you always this stupid or are you practicing on me?"
Laura- i do understand - i am in such a mood- i am behind on things and i just want to sleep all day in a dark room and have everyone leave me alone
i just don't understand what happens when our kids get to be a certain age? I have seen friends go thru heck with their adult kids and i always thought my oldest is so sweet- she'll make good choices..etc.. i won't have any problems.. well her teen years were great- she hit 20 and all common sense went out the window. She bowed to peer pressure and did something we never thought she'd ever imagine doing and them imagine her dad going into work and having his co workers tell him about it-I mean he works for the second largest employer in town, it was bike week and she thought we wouldn't find out??? he still is so hurt and upset. I just hope she will get it together soon and not waste her life.
Melissa- :hugs: to you i so hope too that Kate will get it together- and :bravo: to you for protecting those kids from the Stupid BF- i just got a phone call from my oldest and her best friend called her to say that the Best friends niece(5 years old ) was shot in the head along with her dad and mom yesterday over drugs . they were killed by a roommate - the mom is in critical condition and may not make it-
Warning :rollpin: ahead-what is up with these people?? I mean the roommate got ticked cause they called him names and everyone was doing drugs so he shoots a five year old in the head?? I so hope he doesn't get the death penelty but gets a nice 1 bed cell with a large cellmate named Bubba . and what was up with the parents?? i feel bad that the dad is dead but angry too as he caused his childs death. and if the mom lives then she has to deal with the fact she murdered her child by her stupidity. I know people get hooked and make mistakes but when you have kids get HELP. ok off my :soap:
I think i am over my 4 days of binging- last night i was soo sick from stuffing food but i needed to put something in my tummy - hubby was so sweet and went and got me a milk shake made from Sugar free ice cream. i have no desire to eat today and had a banana this a.m. and will have a salad for lunch. i am glad it seems to be under control for now. Tomorrow is a new month and i hope i will be more in control.
sandi

Tomorrow is a new month and a good time to start fresh.
Grown up kids are so much worse than little one. Their problems are bigger and our influence is less, so for me, i am left with anxiety. My daughter, who I thought was my most stable, called yeaterday to say her long term relationship is ending. She will have a hard time, but her head is on straight and she will make the right choices. I am sad for her, but not anxious. I wish 2 of her brothers had some of her sense.
Sandi- I hope you feel better. Moving is always hard and moving in with his family is really hard. I understand your depression. You will feel better when you get moving and back on track. Easy for me to say, I know, so much harder to do. I will be thinking of you.
Laura

Ok my daughter is driving me insane and no matter what I say, she isn't listening. I am so not telling her where I move to and her visits will have to be at the cps office after I am moved. I am done done done-stick a fork in me I am done! Now another day of not being able to do what I need to do cause she is in the way and has crap all over the place but boy she is at the dinner table when soup is on. Makes me wonder how I got this when this is not what I taught her nor do I behave in this manner. She is off visiting loser bf again. Amazing how she can be on time to go see him but late for everything else. I am just hoping after I get my housing voucher, I can get that place that looked so promising. I just want out out out. I need to get my life back. I really feel out of control and stressed out and Josh is on vacation next week too. Sorry I gave a poopy post.
melissa

melissa.. i think you must have done your best with kate, and if she makes bad choices, it's not your fault. what can you do? you have little ones (hers!) to think about. and yourself of course. i guess not having kids, it's easy to say, but sometimes you need to do things just for you. don't feel bad if you want to limit your interactions with her. people only have so much to give.
as for me, good news and bad. the bad is, my favorite jeans don't really fit anymore (and were too expensive to replace.. my awesome mama gave them to me, and boy is she a spendthrift.) the good news is that they are too big. yay!