Weight Loss Support - What has your child said about your weight?




icmethinner
02-22-2006, 08:31 AM
Has your child said something that motivated you to lose weight?

My 8 year old had been telling me that I was not fat and that he loved me the way I was and didn't want me to be any different because I'm his mom. As I have lost he has said I don't look any different than before. A few nights ago, though, I was reading to him, sitting in the floor with my back against his bed and my knees bent up holding the book. My shirt had come up a little and a roll of fat was showing.

He said, "you really do have a lot of fat left!" "But if you lose it, how will you do your Antarctic diving?" .....stinker


jelly
02-22-2006, 10:06 AM
Hi icmethinner,
My 3 yr old is such a sweet heart. God bless her soul:angel: . She is always saying that i'm beautiful and etc.... But I am always complaining I'm "fat, I don't fit into my clothes, etc...." So early this month she picked up on it and now she says she is to fat for clothes and how she has a fat tummy:( I feel soooo bad. And the other day we were watching "the backyardagains" and she said "look mommy you're fat like "tyrone"(a hipo):dizzy: I laught it off. How embarssing. but I don't want her saying that to anyone else, especailly me. I know she doesn't know. I sat her down and talked to her. I don't complain anymore around her;)

readyfreddy
02-22-2006, 12:57 PM
well i dont have kids yet. but i did mentor a kid once... and she was telling me how she was kind of embarassed because of how big her mom was and then said in the next sentence that her mom was my size. gulp. huge ego blow, especially because i thought her mom was prob like 40 lbs bigger than me. ah well.


healthy2b
02-22-2006, 01:08 PM
All of my children are young adults now so they usually don't say anything... but the other day the two that are away at college were home for the weekend and as we were in the kitchen cooking dinner they got into a conversation about gaining weight since out of high school and one commented on how much smaller my behind is since starting to work out. That brought in the rest of the family, everyone was there for Sunday dinner, oldest daughter and her husband, my two daughters in college and my high school aged son and his girlfriend and my DH, all in a conversation about everyone's rear end. At least the comment about mine was a positive one!!! I just wish it would shrink faster.

Losingitin06
02-22-2006, 01:19 PM
lastnight my 3.5 year old asked why i was using my stability ball.. i replied" because mommy's gotta get rid of this faT".. he looks at me and goes "yeah.. you're fat mom"


*sigh*

MsCrockett
02-22-2006, 01:22 PM
My nephew of 4 yrs old tells ALL that will hear him "I LOVE MY FAT NONNIE"
and he will just love on me ,, He means well and Fat to him is his Nonnie,, I think he will have trouble adjusting to my weight loss, It will be slow enough though that he may be ok.

TribeFan
02-22-2006, 01:40 PM
My son is 9 and hasn't said anything specifically about my weight, but he has told me many times that he's proud of how I work out. He's come with me several times when I lift weights and he asks me all the time what I do in my kickboxing class. My 4 year old hasn't really commented, but she does ask me if I have good workouts, so I'll take it!

lucky
02-22-2006, 03:04 PM
About this time last year my then 6 year old son announced that he would love me no matter how fat I was and that if anyone made fun of me that he would take up for me. It bothered me in that it was the first time he'd used the word fat as more than just an adjective. The fact that he was aware that fat people were sometimes made fun of made it clear to me that he had been exposed socially to that behavior. So, we had a talk about weight being a physical attribute and not a character flaw and I explained why it was a sensitive matter, etc., etc. I can only say that I nearly cried when he told me that the reason he brought it up (it was just out of the blue over breakfast) was because there was an overweight child on the playground being teased. He interupted the "bullies" and invited the heavier kid to play with him - and then he got teased for playing with the "fat kid". I asked him how he felt about that and he told me he didn't mind because only those two boys were being mean. He noticed that they had to play with each other all recess because nobody else wanted to play with them - and he and his new friend had lots of people to play with. As far as he was concerned, all was right with the world.

What motivated me was that I became more determined than ever to make sure that my children would never be put in a position to have to defend my weight, or worse, defend themselves because of my weight. I do a lot of work at the school and know a lot of kids of all ages. I honestly believe that there are very, very few kids who are intentionally mean (though sometimes they do innocently say the darndest things!). But, it only takes one or two to make life miserable for everyone. I expect my kids will have to deal with enough of that kind of rubbish anyway and I certainly don't want to be a source of it.

icmethinner
02-22-2006, 03:32 PM
Wow Lucky! Thanks for sharing that sweet story. Don't ya just love it when they do something sweet like that??

Quirky1
02-22-2006, 04:09 PM
My kids don't seem to be bothered about my weight. Whenever I say that I am trying to lose weight they tell me that I don't need to. :) I don't know if they have ever been teased about my weight but I do know that their friends notice. One of my daughter's little friends told me that I could win the contest for "the fattest" (which I could! I'm the only fat mom in my neighborhood.) I spent a day in my daughter's pre-k last year and I think it's a good thing I left my self esteem at the door when entering the classroom because those kids were brutally honest. I was told I have a big head, big feet, and wrinkles. I was just thrilled that nobody mentioned my thighs, butt, and my middle section! :)

Although it doesn't bother my kids yet, I know it will someday. Part of my motivation is to lose this weight before they do care about it and also to be a good example to my kids so that they will never have to experience obesity for themselves.

snowflakie
02-22-2006, 04:40 PM
Lucky, I love the story you posted about your son. It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job at raising a kind and sensitive boy. You should be very proud of him.

lucky
02-22-2006, 05:00 PM
Thanks, snowflakie and icmethinner! We are raising all of our children as best we can but, to be honest, our oldest son is just naturally sensitive and empathetic. He has cheered for the underdog for as long as I can remember and has always been an independant thinker. What can I say? I'm Lucky. LOL

Intrinsicat
02-22-2006, 05:20 PM
I had an incident with my daughter when she was 6, or maybe just turned 7. I'm heavy, but relative to her dad, I probably don't look heavy in my daughter's eyes. When she used to draw stick figures, she'd draw her stick figure, a mommy stick figure, and daddy stick figure with a big circle in the center for daddy. Anyway, I think her dad cuts on himself a lot and because he remembers how miserable he was in school dealing with weight, I think he puts too much emphasis on it for our daughter. Consequently, she came to me one day and said she was too fat. She's a rail! She happened to have a doctor appointment the next week and I mentioned her "concern" to the nurse... The nurse IMMEDIATELY took my daughter to the scale and showed her on the norms sheet how she fell right into the "perfect for her height / weight" category, and that she was NOT overweight and had nothing to worry about. I think that's helped a lot. I don't use the word diet around her, preferring to use the words "eat right" and "exercise". I'm hoping I can counterbalance her dad - I'm more fearful of eating disorders than battling the buldge! Whenever the Amanda Show comes on I express how unattractive she looks now that she's essentially skin and bones. I want to make sure my daughter understands that it's the extremes on both ends that are not good!

icmethinner, I have to say that Antarctic comment is quite a sharp sense of humor for an 8 year old! Wow! We joke now that I don't want to be the Shamu spectacular on the cruise when we go to Disney!

fouripleys
02-22-2006, 05:49 PM
My 9 year old asks all the time about my workouts, and if I'm "dieting". I've said yes, because I'm fat. She's said, "No you aren't mom, you're beautiful". I responded back with "Thank you sweetie. But you can be beautiful AND fat. I just don't want to be fat anymore." On one hand I don't want her freaking out about her weight...on the other hand, I have to be honest and not treat the F-word like it's a bad word...I AM fat.

I can remember once, when I was about 13 or 14, my mom was sort of bending over a counter, and I measured her butt by my hands. It was more than 6 hands wide. She turned around and said, "What are you doing?" I immediately felt bad. But that memory sticks in my head when I look at my own 6-wide hand butt and realize that my kids are nearing the age I was when I did that to my mom!

lumifan4ever
02-22-2006, 06:30 PM
My fourteen year old has been pretty supportive this time around. She cooks dinner for me so I don't have to when I get home from the gym. She thinks I am doing good for watching my portions and working out.

My 6 year old tells me she can get her arms around me. I tell her soon, she won't have to try so hard to reach all the way around me. That is will be a breeze to wrap her arms around my waist.

All of my kids love me for who I am and not how big around I am, but I want to love me for how I look and for who I am. I want to be able to get up and run with them, instead of always having to just fake it that they beat me.

almost there
02-22-2006, 10:20 PM
My 8 year old daughter tells me I dont need to lose weight that Im skinny, ha, she is funny! I feel bad though, because she sees me stepping on the scale all the time and now i catch her on the scale often (i dont think she should be worried about her weight but she sees me doing it). So I try not to talk about it or let her see me weigh myself anymore. My 4 year old daughter announces it to EVERYONE "my mommy is on a diet". I have gotten so embarressed, that I had to tell her "im not on a diet, mommy is trying to eat healthier" . So for both of those reasons, I try not to make a big deal about it around my kids.

icmethinner
02-22-2006, 11:00 PM
I don't talk bad about myself or my "fat" to my children, but when they ask why I need to go exercise, or why I'm not eating dessert, I just say that I went too long without exercising and eating unhealthy food and it made me gain too much weight, so now I want to be healthier and eat better, and yes, to lose weight. I tell them that if I had always exercised and ate healthy food, I wouldn't have to try to lose weight now. I am hoping that seeing me eat healthy and exercise will instill good habits in them and they can maybe prevent themselves from becoming overweight, so they never have to worry about it.

Yes, my son does have a sharp sense of humor for his age. I never know what's going to come out of his little mouth. But, his Antarctic comment was all in good fun. He wouldn't purposely hurt my feelings, and most of the time, he tells me he wants me to stay just like I am. Nonetheless, those little comments do keep the motivation up!

VonSexron
02-23-2006, 12:50 AM
I feel kinda bad now =( when I was little, one day before kindy, I told mum (who is a bit overweight herself) that she looked like she was pregnant. Not just once, probably three or four times, in front of the kindy staff. I just didn't know that it would have been embarrassing for her!

RobinW
02-23-2006, 11:01 AM
Kids are amazing. There have been a few intances where my weight comes up. The most recent time was the last time she spent a block of time at her dad's (my ex) and when she come to me, she patted my belly, and said "mom? are you loosing some?" I said yes, and left it at that. She started to cry, and said "why? You're NOT fat" (I was about 240) Once she calmed down, we talked about it, and it came from her father telling her that her mother was fat. :mad: Her and I have settled that issue, and also the issue of dad talking about mom in bad ways. The kid is something else!! Im so proud of her :D Its been about 2 yrs since that time, and I check every now and then, and dad hasnt said anything like that since she had her "talk" to him about it.

When she asks why I am going to work out, or why I cant have the goodies, she understands. Tells me Im beautiful and doesnt bring up the weight issue at all anymore. (she's 9) I dont make it an issue at home either. She just giggles when I tell her eating too many lindt chocolates make my butt big.

We have also had a talk about loosing and gaining weight. For her right now, she needs to understand that she has to gain weight....at least until she is done growing. Its when she stops growing up she has to watch she doesnt grow sideways. So I think she has a healthy sense of herself....so far anyway. :)

morrigan
02-23-2006, 11:50 AM
My mom got a 3 and 9 year old dumped on her last summer. They were the children of a recently divorced friend of my dad who was adjusting to being a full time parent. The boys went fishing for 3 days and my mom got two kids she had never met before.

We went to the pool and the three year old looked at my mom (actually poked her belly fat) and said, "You are really, really fat. That is disgusting." She was trying to get a rise out of my mom, and she was also learning to swim.

My mom looked at her straight in the eye and said, "Yes, but I never get cold and I NEVER sink." That little girl had the funniest look on her face as she processed that. It was a riot. I could barely supress my laughter.

The girl's mom was a high-powered lawyer/alcoholic/perscription drug addict/supermodel wanna-be with serious issues about body image.

cemetarysiren25
02-24-2006, 11:47 AM
I dont' have children yet, but...When I was at my heaviest, my husband's (fiance at the time) cousin was about 7 months pregnant. Her four year old came up to me and said, "Do you have a baby in your belly too?" I was so embarrassed!!

chimo2u
02-25-2006, 09:52 PM
My almost 10 yr. old son is my biggest admirer. He never fails to let me know things are definitely getting better! Once 2 months ago, or so, when I had lost about 20lbs, he told me "Mom", "When I put my arms around you to hug you, they used to only touch just past my wrist. Now my fingers touch way up my arm!!" He also said the other day, now that I've lost 40lbs and he saw me in my first pair of jeans.... "WOW MOM!!! You look so pretty!! You look just like a TEENAGER!!" He is telling me lately that I am getting prettier every day!!! Boy my boy is good for my soul!!
Marie

LockItUp
02-26-2006, 02:10 PM
I don't have kids, and I personally don't think I have had an experience, unless I have blocked it out, but I do have a kinda related story...

My fiance's nephew is 4 (just turned) and about 3 months ago his mom (fiance's sis) was telling us that he had mentioned that some girl at their church was fat and another incident that he said a cousin's girlfriend was fat (they were kinda laughing about it, which I thought wasn't good, but that's a different story). Normally I wouldn't find it odd, kids say stuff, especially at that age, but my fiance's sister is rather large, so I didn't understand. I refrained from asking "how big were they" because I of course didn't want to hurt her at all, but I wondered, were these women really that big, or does this cure little boy just not see his mommy as he sees the rest of the world?

icmethinner
02-26-2006, 02:30 PM
Well, Steph, love is blind, so I guess it could be possible! That's okay, though, it's nice to have someone love you just the way you are!