General chatter - Poll: Need your advice

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02-14-2006, 10:15 PM
Hey all

Had a bit of a tiff with the BF about who will be coming to a house warming party... singnificant others are invited to join. However, his friend who was dating one of my other friends (for 4 years) will be coming. These two people are now separated. She has a new boyfriend, he does not, but has been dating. My BF does not want My friend to bring her new boyfriend so as to not "hurt" her old boyfriend's feelings or make the situation uncomfortable. I say they are all grown ups and can deal with it. Why should we have to disregard this new boyfriend?He is apart of her life and that needs to be accepted. I also know my BF enough to know that if the situation were reversed that the new girlfriend would be invited...No invites have been given to anyone yet, but I am at the point that I don't want to invite any significant others at all.

What do you think?

02-14-2006, 10:25 PM
As long as her ex knows the new man is coming to the soiree, he can decide for himself if he can deal with the emotional trauma of seeing his ex. It isn't her problem, or your problem, or your boyfriends problem.

I would make him aware that they are invited, and that is that.

02-14-2006, 10:26 PM
I don't think your BF is being reasonable. Among other things, he isn't showing a lot of faith in his friend's ability to cope with the normal ups and downs of life. However, if he's that worried about it, maybe he could give his friend a heads-up that XGF might be there with her new love, so BF could plan on bringing a date as well.

02-14-2006, 10:28 PM
I say if you want them both there ~ invite them both ~ and explain the situation to each ~ let them decide for themselves ~ it isn't about them ~ it is your party.

02-15-2006, 02:38 AM
Here here, it's not fair to say partners invited, but not yours! Not good manners. Either everyone brings their partners or no one does!

I agree to word up the ex boyfriend, so he can find a nice stunning date to bring a long!

02-15-2006, 10:08 AM
I say invite him, let him know the new man is coming then its up to him, I had a friend who this happened to, except roles were reversed, he had a new girlfriend, she didnt have a new boyfriend, annual party came around, everyone came, and everyone was fine, there was only tension in the initial introductions. Of course everyone stood there and watched, and we call ourselves adults!! :lol: Now they didnt spend the evening talking or anything like that, but they were civil, and never made their own issues with each other, public. This is their problem not yours. Have your party and enjoy it!! :)

02-15-2006, 10:48 AM
This is your party. If you are excited and want to celebrate something and you have friends that you want to share that celebration with ... invite them. It is absolutely their own responsiblity whether their feelings are more important that your celebration. And you are under no obligation to let anyone know who else is coming. Tell'em if they ask but you don't need to send a guest list with the invites ... yeesh!
You want' em there. Invite them. If they don't think they can 'handle it' that is their concern!

Now if we're talking about a intimate dinner party for 6 or 8 ... that's a different story. Then you are in charge of ambiance.

02-15-2006, 11:48 AM
I would make the two people aware of the situation just out of common courtesy, I wouldn't want to be ambushed. I then would leave it up to him if he feels comfortable coming great!

As for the BF, I have a feeling you are right, if the situation were reversed he wouldn't have a problem. He is just looking out for his bud. But set him straight girl LOL!

02-15-2006, 12:02 PM
Have the same thoughts as the others. Invite them both, but make sure they're both aware that the other is also being invited and leave it up to them if they want to show up or not.

02-15-2006, 03:02 PM
I agree with what everyone else has said - invite them both, but make sure that everyone is aware of the situation so there's minimal awkwardness.

02-15-2006, 03:25 PM
I agree with what everyone else has said - invite them both, but make sure that everyone is aware of the situation so there's minimal awkwardness.
I agree with everyone else.:D