02-06-2006, 08:27 PM
Weight Loss Support - When no one notices... DEPRESSING!
View Full Version : When no one notices... DEPRESSING!
02-06-2006, 08:27 PM
02-06-2006, 08:45 PM
I gain weight very evenly, so it takes a LONG time for people to notice I'm losing. Usually 20 lbs are so. It is a bummer when nobody notices. But eventually somebody will notice. Until I notice for myself. "Hey, I can cross my legs confortably. Cool!" Or "This dress hasn't fit in ages. Alright!"
And remember, everything that is hard is fire--and that's good. That fire is refining you into something better. People who have no trials and skate through life often stay the same. They are stagnant. They don't grow and they don't even know they should. The just plod through life centered on themselves. You can take your pain and learn how to make it better for others and that's the best thing we can do with our time.
02-06-2006, 08:46 PM
It can be really hard when you are losing weight, and no one notices. I had an experience the other day of a doctor, that after hearing that I had lost nearly 40 pounds since December, told me that I needed to work harder and such. :( People will start to notice, and YOU will definately be able to tell soon! Don't let it make you give up!
02-06-2006, 08:52 PM
As far as noticing the weight loss itself, I myself didn't even see a difference until I'd lost about 40 pounds. Others started noticing at about 25 or so. But being as big as I was, the weight loss wasn't noticable to others until I lost a considerable amount.
As far as others noticing 'personal' changes, I wouldn't be too hard on them about it. Many people go through life with blinders on and don't pay much attention to the world around them. Mostly because many people have problems of their own to deal with. It doesn't mean they're deliberately ignoring you.
What matters is how you feel about yourself and how you SEE yourself, not how you want others to see you.
You're only 5 pounds down (congrats on that!) give it time. It will happen :)
02-06-2006, 09:05 PM
It reminds me of when you're losing weight and you're wearing the same pair of jeans that don't seem to be getting any bigger... and it takes so long to feel smaller! It's hard to remember that when our weight was on its way up, we'd put on those jeans and say, "Yay, they still fit!" I always joke that I don't mind if people don't notice when I lose, so long as they don't notice when I gain either. :D
Also, think of days when someone has a gigantic zit right on their forehead: you probably wouldn't even notice or care if it was one of your friends, but they're probably thinking the whole world is staring at it. It's the same for good things: you think everyone should stop to focus on it, but people just don't. They don't notice anything until it's really dramatic, but then, WOW do they notice! Keep at it honey, and you'll get there. :hug:
02-06-2006, 09:31 PM
I like what you said about things that are hard being refining fires. I have the same basic philosophy about life myself.
As for how long it takes to notice - I have lost about 40 pounds and now lots of people are finally starting to notice. Some people still haven't figured out what it is. I get compliments like "you look so good in that outfit" or "your hair looks great!" or "you look so happy and glowing" but they haven't figured out why yet. When the jeans that were tight started to practically fall off, I no longer needed confirmation from others! I guess it means, they really aren't paying attention to how big we are to begin with, so they don't really notice when we're smaller!
Keep it up! It's so worth it!
02-06-2006, 09:40 PM
Think about something. Think about how much you think about YOU. You think about what YOU have going on, what YOUR hair looks like, how big YOUR behind/nose/whatever is, how much you examine every little flaw about yourself, and how much you over-analyze everything going on in YOUR life.
What I am saying, is that everyone else around them is absorbed with THEMSELVES-just like we all are with ourselves. It isn't that they are purposely not noticing YOU-but just like you-they are absorbed with their own looks, their own problems, and their own lives.
We are all guilty of this. It is nothing personal. I personally don't pay that much attention to how big my neighbor's butt is, or pay attention to what the lady I see at the bank every Friday is wearing. I am simply thinking about myself and my life, and what I am doing to notice all that much. Most people are like that.
That is why people around us don't notice a 5 or 10 pound weight loss, especially if we are pretty heavy to begin with. It takes a good size or so dropped when you are heavy for anyone to really notice-although we will start noticing things about ourselves sooner-such as the waist of our pants being a little looser.
On the other subject-about some people having it so easy-and other's having to work for everything-I don't agree so much. Everyone has problems and issues, and no one has the perfect life. The beautiful, thin woman with the huge house and doctor husband down the street that you envy each day may have grown up with an alcoholic mother, or maybe she has a cheating busband and just doesn't know it yet, or maybe 6 years from now she could end up with cancer or end up in an accident. You don't know the full details of everyone elses lives-to be able to say that "so and so has it so much better than I do".
What I am saying, is that no one has a perfect life. Everyone has their issues-whether it be a battle with their weight, family problems, money problems, health problems, an addiction of some sort-even to something as simple as cigarettes. Everyone has problems-we just are focused so much on our own problems and lives that we don't see everyone elses.
02-06-2006, 10:15 PM
Thanks so much! Such wonderful responses! I was having such a weak moment, coupled with a bad time this weekend. You're all so right, thank you all so much. Your responses really make the difference.
Lately, I've just been feeling all these emotions good and bad. We'll hopefully it'll all make me a stronger person.
So much better than I worked out and just let it all out on the boards or just out in general instead of eating.
Just thanks again
02-06-2006, 11:34 PM
Today I think perhaps all I needed was a good cry! I'm so extremely motivated and I just feel like I had a real breakthrough with a lot of things. I had an amazing conversation with my mother, and I really just need to work on my priorities in my life. And get some things straight. I need to learn its not about other people, its about myself and what makes me happy. I need to learn to take better care of myself. I really love the support I feel on this board, I've only been here since Jan. 2006 and already I feel everyone is so kind and positive. Such a comforterable community and I'm so thrilled to be able to be apart of this and to be able to share in the journey, successes, and struggles of everyone else! I'm so excited, and I thank all of you and your kind words and look forward to the rest of this year in our success!
02-07-2006, 02:23 AM
Glad you're feeling better!
Like the others said, don't worry about it. You are doing it for yourself and people will notice eventually. Some may have noticed a little, but you are just starting your journey. Perhaps some think you've lost a little, but until you reach a certain number, people might not say anything because 1- they don't really pay attention to how much you weigh, and like you for you, not how many pounds you have or don't have 2-they might notice a little change but can't really put their finger on it 3- they notice but perhaps are afraid of saying anything because they wouldn't want you to believe that they think you need to lose weight! Nothing is more embarassing than asking something if they've lost weight and they say no, or actually, I've gained :foot: lol Or maybe they're sick and the weight loss is caused by something else.
So...keep doing what you are doing. Pretty soon, your clothes will begin to fall off, you'll catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror one morning and go :eek: :eek: Wow!, you'll get your picture taken and actually like the picture, then, you will see an old picture of yourself and compare the two pics in amazement, you'll run into someone who hasn't seen you in a while and their jaw will drop and they'll say...what happened?!?! wow! and you will go up a flight of stairs and realize one day that you aren't out of breath!
Keep it up! Enjoy the journey and remember that you're doing it for yourself in the first place. All that hard work will be worth it. The journey may seem painfully slow and boring or hard on some days, but stick with it and you will see results. (in weight loss or anything else in life) :carrot:
02-07-2006, 05:57 AM
After I lost the first 20lb, I was still waiting for people to notice (I had 40lb to lose altogether). My family were going on and on about my nephew losing so much weight, his jeans fell down whilst sitting there talking to them, I'd lost 21lb and my jeans were doing the same that very minute! And no-one said a thing. I felt really discouraged.
Other relatives we visited around that time went on about how much my husband had lost (maybe 5lb at the most!) and no mention of my weight loss at all! My kids only really realised how much I'd lost when I showed them a skirt I'd worn last May, that now had a waistband 6" too big. Sometimes people have to see it really concretely, especially if they see you day in day out.
When my weight loss got closer to 30lb, suddenly everyone seemed to notice! I went from feeling really discouraged, having worked so hard to get no praise or recognistion, to everyone saying how much I'd lost. At only a few lbs more weight loss. So I guess a lot depends on how you lose it and where you lose it from.
I know I rarely remark unless I'm 100% positive someone has lost a lot - for fear of offending them. People who still have to lose some weight themselves are often the worst offenders, too, as they can feel very threatened or challenged by someone who appears to be taking their health into control. So there's lots of reasons you might get no positive feedback.
I had to lose three quarters of the entire weight I needed to lose before I got one single comment (apart from my kids!) So don't expect an overnight turnaround, but it will happen.
02-07-2006, 07:40 AM
Today I think perhaps all I needed was a good cry! I'm so extremely motivated and I just feel like I had a real breakthrough with a lot of things. I had an amazing conversation with my mother, and I really just need to work on my priorities in my life. And get some things straight. I need to learn its not about other people, its about myself and what makes me happy. I need to learn to take better care of myself.
You got it, sweetie. You're doing great, keep moving! :hug:
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