100 lb. Club - Bad service in retail cause your fat?




Melody2006
01-14-2006, 11:46 PM
I wasn't always this huge. I remember a time my friends would want to go into Layne Bryant and I refused to walk inside because that store was for fat people. Now I'm already a DDD in their bras so any more and I won't even fit what they have. I've notice that I get really crappy service at stores, especialy makeup counters. Anyone else notice this?


LivingWater
01-15-2006, 12:31 AM
Without a doubt. People treat you differently.

I even applied for a job once, had a manager look at my application (hadn't seen me yet), and wanted to speak with me right away. I was just supposed to drop it off so this was good news. He came out of his office, looked me up and down and said thanks for the application, we'll give you a call.

There's no way he wanted me to wait for him and come out himself to say thanks for the app. *sigh*

Universityprincess
01-15-2006, 02:51 AM
I didnt know there was a big difference until I started to lose weight. I've noticed that I started getting treated better. All of a sudden more doors are held open for me and I get more smiles and better service. That makes me a little sad. Because I was getting treated worse just because I was larger?!? What the heck is that?!? It's so superficial!


stacylambert
01-15-2006, 03:04 AM
I haven't noticed it but I'm probably in the same situation as UniversityPrincess. The way I'm treated now is what I've always been use to. I'll have to see what happens as I get closer to my goal. I know it's probably true though which is very depressing to think about. I don't get the hangup people have with others who are overweight. I was reading another board and the guys were just BASHING anyone over 120 pounds. It just makes me sick to my stomach to hear what people really think. I'll add another *sigh*

sabriena
01-15-2006, 09:42 AM
I don't notice the difference but that's probably because I've only lost a little bit of weight.

I do notice it outside of it being towards me though. I notice it in the way people talk about other people as well.

Like for instance, my mom who has always been a stick figure seeing someone who is maybe 20lbs overweight but still look good, saying that they're fat and disgusting. Or asking my little brother if the girls he danced with were "Pretty or Fat" like you can't be both.

When I worked retail I treated everyone the same...skinny, fat, white, black, green, purple! They're people. We all have our own hangups!

missaprylj
01-15-2006, 11:22 AM
Well, I think weight is part of it, yes, but I also think that just generally looks are considered. I think it's just that people consider fat "ugly." I notice that a lot more people are nice and friendly to me when I've got my hair done, I've got my makeup done and I'm dressed nicely. I have noticed before that salespeople are rude to me though. It drives me nuts and I just want to say something to them like "Is there a reason you're looking at me like that?"

On the flip side, as I work in a clothing store, I can say that I am truly nice to every customer not based on looks. That has less to with the fact that I am fat and more to do with the fact that I'm a human being and realize that every other person who comes into the store is a human being.

*whew* :lol:

VisionQuest
01-15-2006, 11:51 AM
I'm going to try this again...first one disappeared....:)

I've been in customer service and a customer for many years...as I'm sure many here has. I usually feel that if I receive bad service it isn't because I'm black and fat but because there is a lack of customer training provided by the company or that the person hates their job and needs to find a line of work that they enjoy more. My looks (whether I go to the store in torn sweats and ponytail w/ no makeup or if I'm dressed in heels and make-up) have nothing to do with the way I'm treated. I approach and deal with people with a smile and good attitude because that's how I am.

Anyway...I feel that we (people) should not expect or overlook being treated disrespectully. If someone does treat you wrongly...immediately let them know, educate them on how you should be treated. It only takes a few seconds of time.;)

V.

SuchAPrettyFace
01-15-2006, 01:37 PM
I like to ask for a manager when someone is being rude.

Then I like to lie & say I am the mystery shopper. :) That really freaks em out.

lucky
01-15-2006, 01:58 PM
I may have been treated differently when I was much heavier but, looking back, I firmly believe it had much more to do with MY demeanor and attitude than it did any prejudice on the part of the general public. I rarely took my eyes off the floor as I walked, much less smiled at anyone. I was generally unhappy with myself and assumed other people were as well - nobody got the benefit of the doubt. And, often, I was down right bitter. Not exactly the perfect combination of behaviors to have made people want to interact with me in a positive manner.

Of course, there are people who are downright mean and they certainly have been known to pick on fat people. But the truth is that people with that negative of a spirit treat EVERYONE poorly, not just fat people. We all have flaws and such people are masters at finding them in other people. I don't give them much thought or attention.

It honestly doesn't bother me that some employers make hiring decisions based on appearances. We all do that to a certain degree. Like it or not, we are visual creatures. But, it doesn't always work in favor of the thin and beautiful. I've been a hiring manager before and, quite frankly, when two candidates were equally qualified I would find myself leaning towards hiring the heavier person (assuming one was overweight and the other wasn't). It wasn't a matter of me being discriminatory against thin people, rather I was drawn to people I related to on several levels. I also had a career that involved my working closely with the sales force. Like it or not, attractive people close more sales than others. But, I don't think it is JUST because of their appearance. More often than not people who feel good about themselves - how they look, their intellect, their personalities, etc. approach situations with a confidence that many of us who are overweight just don't have. As an example, I have a sister who has NEVER paid a speeding ticket. But, you know what? She has always been confident and had the nerve to think she had the right to flip her hair and ask if the officer could please let her go just this one time. I wouldn't know if that would work for me because, well, I never had the confidence to try it. I ALWAYS approached life as if my weight were going to hold me back and, by golly, it did.

Now, with all of that said, I know plenty of women who are overweight and don't let it inhibit their lives as I did. The carry themselves well, approach every situation with confidence, and EXPECT things to go well. For instance, I have a friend who would have confronted that manager that looked LivingWater up and down before dismissing her. She would have asked why he was so anxious to meet her only to say, "We'll call you." Her attitude is that he may very well choose not to hire her because of her weight and that is okay - she doesn't have any delusion that she isn't fat or that the world is fair- but she does believe that she has every right to confront someone who judges her on her appearance alone (not in a nasty, demeaning way but just in a "what could I have done differently in order to be more carefully considered for this position?" kind of way). Most of us just don't have that kind of confidence. But, if you ask me, we all SHOULD.

shedilbry
01-15-2006, 02:19 PM
i sooo don't even pay attention to people anymore. :rolleyes: i do know though that being fat doesn't get me much male attention anymore but i'm ok with that because i hate (most) men right now anyway. LOL

i do think its odd that when i go to the lane bryant at the mall there are skinny girls working in there who couldn't possibly wear the clothes they sell!

SuchAPrettyFace
01-15-2006, 02:34 PM
i do think its odd that when i go to the lane bryant at the mall there are skinny girls working in there who couldn't possibly wear the clothes they sell!I hate this about Lane Bryant. I really do. Also the quality of their clothing in the last 15 years has gone down the toilet. I should be able to wash something for a year or more, and not have the seams come out, not a month! :eek:

Goddess Jessica
01-15-2006, 02:41 PM
Yeah, I have lots of good attitude but I will notice in some of more "trendy" stores that I don't get the service I deserve. Since I'm the Queen of Confrontation I usually say something. (Like - hey, with the majority of the population being plus sized, how come your store doesn't carry anything in those sizes? This rant was in Victoria's Secret).

Shedlibry - I once worked at Lane Bryant for a week (yeah, I suck at retail) and the manager was like a size 6. I made a joke about it once (because we got discounts and days when we were suppose to wear the merchandise) and she had lost like 60 pounds. I was in awe.

susie_sunshine
01-15-2006, 02:55 PM
I agree with lucky, I think most of the time I didn't get good customer service was when I really didn't want the service. I don't remember ever being treated rudely in a store, but I often used to go into plus size store with a bad attitude. I was mad at myself because I had done this to myself, I had caused my weight gain and because of what I did I had to shop there. I think I often took out my unhappiness on sales clerks by avoiding them and refusing their help. I don't shop so much in plus size stores anymore. I can wear regular sizes on top so I tend to shop at stores like target and old navy where there are all the sizes.

ScarlettDrawl
01-15-2006, 09:53 PM
Yeah, I have lots of good attitude but I will notice in some of more "trendy" stores that I don't get the service I deserve.

I have a similar problem in some stores (I wouldn't dare say all). But I also have that problem in restaurants. In one of my favorite restaurants, I always have the misfortune of having the same rude hostess who feels the need to sneer when she speaks to me whilst staring me up and down. But I digress, I have encountered some very rude people in more trendy/popular stores. :?:

shedilbry
01-15-2006, 11:42 PM
SAPF--- every time i buy a bra at lane bryant i wear it for a couple months and the damn wires pop! LOL either the quality sucks like you said or i'm just REALLY rough on bras. i can buy a bra at wal mart and the wires are ok but the strap adjusters snap! i'm a stuck monkey when it comes to bras. LOL

jessica--- i thought about that after i posted but what are the odds that EVERY skinny girl who has worked there has lost a lot of weight? ya know? i'd feel more comfortable in there if there were more workers who were bigger gals like myself. but yay for her (and any of the others) for losing the weight.

scarlettdrawl--- give that waitress something to look at! chew up your food and open your mouth at her. (i know, its gross... LOL)

jillybean720
01-16-2006, 07:13 AM
*thinking* I'm not sure I've ever seen a skinny clerk at a Lany Bryant. Or an Avenue, for that matter. Even at Fashion Bug, I see a lot of heavier saleswomen. BUT, like Jessica mentioned, the "trendy" stores seem to be another story. I used to shop at Deb (not that their quality is worth the price, but they sometimes had GREAT clearance deals), and some locations had a Deb Plus with plus-sized clothing. However, I don't think I ever saw anyone over a size 4 working there, and they certainly weren't about to go out of their way to help me :p And GOD FORBID I walk into an Express, Pacific Sunwear, American Eagle, or anything like that without a skinny friend--don't they realize I could be shopping or a friend?? :dizzy: One day, I'd like to pull out a bunch of size 2 clothes and go into the dressing room and take out a piece of fabric I would have hidden in my purse and just rip it loudly--I would love to see the looks on their faces! Oh, and then, of course, come out and ask if maybe they have the same thing in a 4? ;)

HOWEVER, I don't think my being fat was the reason they didn't want to help me. I know when I worked retail, I treated every customer the same, so some days everyone got great service, and some days everyone got crappy service, depending on my mood (how's that for brutal honesty? :dizzy: ). I think we sometimes blame the crappy service on our weight, whereas it could actually be that EVERYONE got crappy service at that time, ya know?

I think many of us blame the fat for things whether it's true or not. When something goes wrong, it's automatically because we're fat, but that's not always the case. I read about a study once (of course, I can't find it now--it was online, though) where a bunch of women went out on a first date with a guy. About half the women were overweight, and the other half was not. The guy didn't call ANY of the women back for a second date. When the women were asked why they thought that was, ALL of the overweight women quoted their size as the reason, whereas all of the thin women had other reasons (different interestes, values, goals, sense of humor, etc.).

Kamily828
01-16-2006, 09:33 AM
I hate this about Lane Bryant. I really do. Also the quality of their clothing in the last 15 years has gone down the toilet. I should be able to wash something for a year or more, and not have the seams come out, not a month! :eek:


Fashion Bug was the same way when I worked there . I was there for 2 years. I know how bad the quality was. That was 10 years ago. It may have changed but I doubt it.

irishgreengables
01-16-2006, 09:34 AM
I read about a study once (of course, I can't find it now--it was online, though) where a bunch of women went out on a first date with a guy. About half the women were overweight, and the other half was not. The guy didn't call ANY of the women back for a second date. When the women were asked why they thought that was, ALL of the overweight women quoted their size as the reason, whereas all of the thin women had other reasons (different interestes, values, goals, sense of humor, etc.).

OTOH, I once read a study where the same exact ad was placed in the personals 3 times, except for one difference. In the list of attributes, one ad said, "Overweight", one said "heavy drug user" and the other said "HIV positive". The overweight ad received no responses, but the other 2 received plenty of responses.

HAving said that, I do think that a lot of it has to do with the vibe we give off and also with our own perception (which often colors the vibe we give off, no?).

jillybean720
01-16-2006, 10:17 AM
OTOH, I once read a study where the same exact ad was placed in the personals 3 times, except for one difference. In the list of attributes, one ad said, "Overweight", one said "heavy drug user" and the other said "HIV positive". The overweight ad received no responses, but the other 2 received plenty of responses.
That is so crazy! I know I have been listed on dating sites with a photo (showing some of my body, not just my face) with the largest body type option available ("lots to love!" was my favorite way a site worded it :p ), and I have definitely gotten responses from many nice and seemingly-normal men. Maybe it's the fear of no photo--I think some people see the word "overweight" and think maybe a few extra pounds, while some see it and think of someone who needs a crane to lift them out of bed, ya know? Whereas HIV positive and heavy drug user are pretty easliy defined (well, I guess you could argue about WHICH drugs the person was taking :dizzy: ), I think "overweight" is still very vague to a lot of people, and the unknown is scary.

I agre, though, that a lot of it is perception and our own vibes. Sometimes I think some overweight people almost "expect" to be shunned, so they act either more defensive or more sheepish in public situations, and their acting differently is what causes people to react differently towards them. Does that make sense? :dizzy:

FS72
01-16-2006, 11:22 AM
I totally agree that people you treat you differently when you are over weight. I have never in my life been so large and so invisible at the same time. Like it will rub off if they talk to use or even show respect. I just keep in mind that I can get thin but they will always be unmannered fools.

Felicia

shedilbry
01-16-2006, 11:51 AM
i LOVED Deb when i was in high school and could fit into the clothes. i got a lot of cute dresses and stuff there (and the shoes OMG)!!!! i thought the prices were good too. i never paid more than about 10 bucks for the dresses and i think the shoes i got there were about 17 (but of course this was over 10 years ago). there isn't a plus size section in the one here i don't think...i may have to check though since its been a while since i went in there...not that i'd wear that kind of stuff anymore though.

jillybean720
01-16-2006, 12:17 PM
i LOVED Deb when i was in high school and could fit into the clothes. i got a lot of cute dresses and stuff there (and the shoes OMG)!!!! i thought the prices were good too. i never paid more than about 10 bucks for the dresses and i think the shoes i got there were about 17 (but of course this was over 10 years ago). there isn't a plus size section in the one here i don't think...i may have to check though since its been a while since i went in there...not that i'd wear that kind of stuff anymore though.
I can't buy their shirts or dresses anymore, only their pants. The shirts and dresses run WAY small--I normally wear about a size 24 shirt, but their 3x shirts are like spandex or won't even meet in the front, let alone button. It's inasane! I can wear the pants because they have normal numbered sizes.

SwimGirl
01-16-2006, 01:01 PM
I think blaming weight for the reasons we get bad service isn't exactly fair. It's lack of training, someone having a bad day, also, when women come into my store and I say hello, if they barely look at me and don't say hi back.. I assume they want to be left alone. Bad to assume possibly, but let me tell you HOW many times I've been yelled at by customers who are pissed off at the product, sizing, etc. I don't control these things, companies have websites for a reason. Infact, we don't even do reports on customer requests. A company will always listen to customers, I had a TON of customers complain about us not having t-shirts (they sent emails), and then they showed up, 2 months early.

In the end I think people are too self absorbed to care if you are fat... they are too busy thinking that they are. Also, Chances are if they are snobby to you, they are snobby to everyone...

Thats my two cents..

-Aimee