Weight Loss Support - Why do I feel awkward?
01-09-2006, 01:11 PM
Hey girls.....here's my problem. My best friend and I both started dieting (a' la ww's) in August. Unfortunately she gave up mid Sept and didn't seem to get with the program even though she has a paid gym membership. I know her life is crazy with pt work and family life in general but now she's noticing my weight loss and I feel awkward telling her just how much I've lost. She's commented on 'how good I look'....'how skinny I'm getting' etc etc. BUT she's never come out and asked how much I've lost? I feel VERY awkward around her when she makes those comments because I don't want to embarass her for not losing any when we started the same time. (actually she's gained weight) Should I just tell her the next time she says anything? Why do I feel 'bad' for losing the weight?? She's even bragged to other friends that I know all the pts values for foods and often quizes me in front of them. I think I'm heading for friendship trouble, I would hope she is happy and proud of me but ...????
01-09-2006, 01:19 PM
It sounds to me like she IS happy and proud of you. Why else would she be complimenting you, and bragging about you to other friends?
For yourself, decide what level of detail you're comfortable with. If you don't want to tell her how much you've lost (though you've said she's never asked), then don't. If she DOES outright ask and you still don't want to share, simply tell her, "it's just a number, but I don't want to talk about it right now." If her bringing up how you know all the Points values makes you uncomfortable, talk to her privately and tell her. I'm sure if she knew she was making you uncomfortable she'd do everything she could to stop.
Keep in mind that you have to TELL her these things. She can't know them if you don't tell her.
01-09-2006, 01:28 PM
I'll bet after seeing you she is wishing she stuck by your side! But seriously, it sounds like she is proud of you. If she asked I would tell her. You may inspire her to get motivated. Don't feel guilty girl, be proud of all of your hard work.
01-09-2006, 01:47 PM
It does sound to me like she's genuinly interested and proud of you! I would tell her, so long as you are comfortable with telling her! You never know just how motivated she might get from that!
01-10-2006, 01:15 AM
Say to her "Thank you!" and mean it. Take her compliments and don't feel guilty or akward. She is responsible for her own life and you for yours. For you, right now, weight loss is important. For her, right now, it's not. When she decides that weight loss is imnportant to her, then you can be in her sidelines cheering her on.
I get a lot of compliments from people at work on how much weight I've lost. I tell them thank you and bask in their admiration, jealousy, or what ever it is. I'm darn proud of my weight loss and so should you!
01-10-2006, 01:16 PM
Yup like the girls have said.. She sounds like shes being a true friend .. You cant ever make someone do what they dont want to do Shes a grown woman and when shes ready she will get back on the program. I know you want her to be there with you and join in the exsperiance that your having with feeling better and looking great.. She will come around. You can mentioned to her if you want to that You really care for her as a good friend you you want to make sure that your not saying anything to make her feel bad when you bring up your weight loss success only because you care for her and how she feels. Just tell her you are by her side and love her just the same. At least you are having these feelings and having the thoughtfulnes of her feelings as well. Thats great. Enjoy it because good friends are trully hard to find. ;)
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