Lighten Up! - Things I have discovered we learn from movies:




VermontChick
07-08-2001, 11:01 PM
Don't mind all my little comments :-) I couldn't resist.

1.Large, loft-style apartments in New York City
are well within the price range of most people whether
they are employed or not.

2.At least one of a pair of identical twins is born
evil.

3.Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry
which wire to cut. You will always choose the right
one. <---- Lethal Weapon III

4.Most laptop computers are powerful enough to
override the communications system of any invading
alien society.

5.It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in
a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will
wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing
around in a threatening manner until you have knocked
out their predecessors. <---Karate Kid

6.When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything
in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just
slightly bluish. <----every soap operal you have ever watched

7.If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to
become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of
22. <---Charlie's Angels?

8.Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally
gunned down three days before their retirement. <---Lethal Weapon II

9.Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to
kill their archenemies using complicated machinery
involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses,
lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their
captives at least 20 minutes to escape. <---MacGyver?

10.During all police investigations, it will be
necessary to visit a strip club at least once. HA HA HA

11.All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that
reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to
waist level on the man lying beside her. <---Soap Operas

12.All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. <-----And they're all paper bags too I bet

13.It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing
there is someone in the control tower to talk you
down.

14.Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even
while scuba diving.

15.You're very likely to survive any battle in any war
unless you make the mistake of showing someone a
picture of your sweetheart back home.

16.Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or
Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the
language. A German or Russian accent will do. (It used
to be an English accent for the German.)

17.The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in
Paris.

18.A man will show no pain while taking the most
ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to
clean his wounds.

19.If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will
be thrown through it before long.

20.If staying in a haunted house, women should
investigate any strange noises in their most revealing
underwear.

21.Word processors never display a cursor on screen
but will always say: Enter Password Now.

22.Even when driving down a perfectly straight road,
it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously
from left to right every few moments. Tires will
squeal on any surface, at any speed.

23.All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices
with large red readouts so you know exactly when
they're going to go off.

24.A detective can only solve a case once he has been
suspended from duty.

25.If you decide to start dancing in the street,
everyone you meet will know all the steps. <---LMAO (Chim Chiminy anyone??)

26.Police departments give their officers personality
tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a
partner who is their total opposite.

27.When they are alone, all foreign military officers
prefer to speak to each other in English.

28.The bad guys can't hit the broad side of a barn
with a machine gun while the good guys hit everything
they shoot at with a small revolver.


Elisette
07-09-2001, 05:22 PM
I am quite impressed :)