100 lb. Club - A million little pieces




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Sandi
01-07-2006, 10:59 AM
I am reading the book "A million little pieces" which is about a drug addict in recovery. In the book today I read these words...

"when things are tough, and when I don't think I can last another minute, if I just hold on tight with everything I've got, the **** gets better."

This really struck me today. I have known for a long time that I am a food addict. I've been having a pretty good run lately, having a small bit of success. And I think it's because I have been doing exactly as the quote says. Just hanging on tight. When you are trying to change your life, not every minute is tough, alot of them are easy, you just plug along doing the new routine. But it is when we have challenges, weather it be a dinner out, a party or simply sitting at home and having cravings, that's when we need to hold on tight with everything we've got, because the **** will get better.


Ruthxxx
01-07-2006, 11:08 AM
Great quote, Sandi! I think we should post it on everyone's fridge. It's going onto mine!

Jenniffer
01-07-2006, 11:21 AM
Sandi!!!! I said on one of the threads that I had just finished reading this book, and it did wonders for me!!!! I loved the book, and will keep it and reread it when I feel that I am powerless. Hold tight, and we will get through it. I saw him on Oprah a few weeks ago. He also has another book My friend Leonard.

I recommend this book to everyone.


lucky
01-07-2006, 11:38 AM
I haven't read this book yet but I intend to soon. I saw him on Oprah a while back and LOVE his take on things. In my opinion, he offers one of the most honest and realistic views of addiction and recovery.

And, I can attest to the fact that if you just hang on, the **** gets better. I tend to take for granted how far I've come, especially as I inch closer to my goal weight. Everything seems so easy from here that it is hard to imagine food and weight ever being THAT big a deal for me. I know that it was, and I remember feeling challanged, wanting to quit, barely holding on but not necessarily the specifics of those feelings (and I still face challanges just not as often and not as difficult). I make a point to review my old posts/journals every once in a while so that I can better understand where I have been and where I am. When I am sailing along they remind me of what I stand to lose if I get too relaxed and when things get hard they remind me that, indeed, THE **** GETS BETTER IF I JUST HOLD ON! Incidently, I believe this is true of life in general as well as weight loss, addiction recovery, etc.

DishyFishy
01-07-2006, 11:54 AM
Cheers for that, Sandi, and thanks for your take, Lucky.

[I just checked my library and there are currently 587 holds on this book! Unless I stump up some cash, it might be a while before I get to read it.]

boiaby
01-07-2006, 12:58 PM
I'm reading this book right now too. It really is a startling how the world of a substance addict compares to that of a food addict, isn't it? I felt like so much of the tools and knowledge he gained through this experience could very easily be applied to our own circumstances. And it's really kind of scary to think just how alike these various addictions are. I too, loved that particular quote as well Sandi, just hang on, the **** really does get better. I also really liked this (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=71256)insight from Meg over in the maintainers forum about the very same book. This is definitely a must read for anyone suffering from any type of addiction, IMO.

Beverly

Jenniffer
01-07-2006, 01:03 PM
This reminds me of a post I stumbled on at another club here...

"Eating addictions are one of the worst addictions as we need food to survive. You can avoid the drug dealers, bars, casinos, ect, but we all need food to survive. So what happens when you get tempted every day? You are told that one little piece of cake will not kill you. You have been doing well, so you decide to reward your self with something that is not o "your plan". And 1 meal turns into 1 day, a week, a month, a few years? Should drug addicts reward them selves with just one fix? If we set diet rewards with food that we should stay away from, we set the stage for failure. Food should not be used as an reward to an addict."

Interesting, huh? And I have found myself say outloud or even under my breath a million times "I have been doing really well, I can have a 2ND piece of CAKE!".

No, I can't.

boiaby: I was thinking the same exact thing as I read the book. I thought I was going crazy as I was reading along and I was relating so much.

There is no "magic power" or what not. It's a decision. I choose not to weigh 265 lbs anymore. I choose not to eat bad foods. I choose to move this body of mine.

happydaisy
01-07-2006, 01:08 PM
I think this is an incredible book. I wasn't sure I'd love the style it's written in but I have loved it and I have so much respect for the honesty with which it is written. Takes a lot of courage...

Jillegal
01-07-2006, 01:11 PM
I went over to maintainers and read your post, Boiaby. You are so eloquent (and wise) that I'll gnash my teeth to oblivion in total frustration if you don't write that damn book so many of us need to read!! :D

P.S. As long as you keep the language clean ;) :p

mousie
01-07-2006, 01:30 PM
This reminds me of a post I stumbled on at another club here...

"Eating addictions are one of the worst addictions as we need food to survive. You can avoid the drug dealers, bars, casinos, ect, but we all need food to survive. So what happens when you get tempted every day? You are told that one little piece of cake will not kill you. You have been doing well, so you decide to reward your self with something that is not o "your plan". And 1 meal turns into 1 day, a week, a month, a few years? Should drug addicts reward them selves with just one fix? If we set diet rewards with food that we should stay away from, we set the stage for failure. Food should not be used as an reward to an addict."

I wanted to comment on the idea that "we" have to eat to survive, but drug addicts/alcoholics can just turn their backs.

My friend is working her way through OA, and she showed me a little blurb she had been reading (this is a famous story, not a local one)(and this version is paraphrased, I don't have a copy of it with me):

A new member was listening at a meeting, and heard a woman say that she had been successful both in AA and OA. The new member thought that it must have been much easier to be successful in AA, because one doesn't need to drink to stay alive. At the end of the meeting, the new member expressed this opinion to the woman who had been speaking. That woman chuckled and said, "they were both very difficult. In some ways OA was harder."

The new member expressed disbelief, repeating the idea that you don't have to drink to live but you do have to eat. The woman who had been speaking smiled.

"I drink every day," she said, to the astonishment of the new member. "The difference is what I chose to drink. I also eat every day. I eat those foods that will help me, not those foods that will feed my disease."

The idea being, of course, that everything is a choice. Yes, we have to eat to survive. But do we have to eat sugar, desserts, fatty foods, white carbs, foods that trip our Binge Buttons? Are those the only foods available to us? Or can we chose those foods that help our bodies grow and stay healthy? An interesting thing to think about.

boiaby
01-07-2006, 01:43 PM
Hey, I'm not making any guarantees Jilly!:p BTW, :thanks: all in good time my friend.

Beverly

famograham
01-07-2006, 05:25 PM
:lol: Jilly!

This problem automatically comes with dirty language...it's a dirty addiction!

I always find it entertaining and challenging on here...trying to find ways NOT to curse when they seem to be the only words that truly fit.

xoxo
Linda

Less_of_Me_to_Love
01-08-2006, 12:27 AM
I find all of these little blurbs very insightful! I know that (as one of those blurbs says) we chose what we put in our mouths. But training ourselves to make the right choices after years of poor ones is very difficult!

Up until reacently I never thought of my eating as an addiction, heck I didn't even really think it was a problem. But as I've tried and tried to quit, it doesn't work very well... not without lots of work!

DollyR
01-08-2006, 05:39 AM
I like the quote:

"I drink every day," she said, to the astonishment of the new member. "The difference is what I chose to drink. The difference is what I chose to drink. I also eat every day. I eat those foods that will help me, not those foods that will feed my disease."

Even though it is not from the book this thread is about, it really made me think of whether I have made excuses once again in life for myself. I never thought about the choice of drink for an alcoholic. I just thought well heck they just stay away from it.

But I have a friend who was a severe alcoholic and he still goes to parties. I sometimes observe how he leaves early before the crowds start to drink a lot. Maybe that is what I need to do.....beg off the invitations out to dinner or to lunch. Just avoid it until I can handle it. Keep the house clean of "toxic foods" for me (like skippy peanut butter). Alcoholics can develop hepatitis to name one disease but we can develop diabetes and many others too.

Just my two cents.......maybe until I can control myself .........................I should try to stay away and detox.

jenicra
01-08-2006, 03:01 PM
Darlene - I'm pretty sure your quote IS from A Million Little Pieces. I'm reading it right now and just read that passage yesterday. I too am really enjoying it and finding it insightful.

satylite
01-09-2006, 12:26 AM
A friend of mine at work has been raving about this book for awhile now, and I keep meaning to pick it up (when I'm done with the other zillion books I'm reading). Prompted by this thread, I buzzed over to amazon tonight to check out the other reviews.

I hate to be the bearer of bad (or at least bizarre) news, but...

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0104061jamesfrey1.html

I've only gotten through the first couple paragraphs of TSG findings, but I don't like what I've read so far. It would be much easier for me to keep an open mind if Frey copped to the fact that his account was largely fabricated from the get go, and simply embellished for the sake of good storytelling. To the good folks who got such a strong message from his words, I don't think it would have been any less powerful as a work of fiction. As it stands, I'm really turned off from an ethical standpoint right now.

How very sad.

synger
01-09-2006, 10:59 AM
I picked this up from a co-worker and read it in a couple of days. Yes, it's mesmerizing reading. Yes, it pulls you along. But I figured some of it just HAD to be fabricated. I read it as I read most biographies -- basic truth with some creative license. I don't think he "duped" anyone really, unless they were stupid enough to think this was a piece of history-text. You write history about something you study and are removed from. You write autobiography about yourself. You can't be unbiased. And some things in life, looked at by other people, may not be the big deals they seem to you.

So I read it with that in mind, and really enjoyed it. The addiction stuff didn't hit home with me as much as I expected it would. The "just say no" emphasis he has on it being your decision to use or not use, made much more of an impact. I thought he was stupid to brush off the AA program like he did and be the tough guy who can do it all his own way because he's stronger than the addiction. That's like saying it's all will power. And those of us who DO struggle with addictions -- to food, alcohol, gambling, drugs, whatever -- know that it's NOT just will power. It's triggers and strategies and plans and slipping and falling and picking yourself up again and starting over. His insistence that you could just say no and be clean just ended up annoying me more than inspiring me.

But I did enjoy the book, and it did make me look at my own food addiction in a different light. I recommend reading it.

kykaree
01-10-2006, 01:34 AM
I thought I had never heard of the book, but it turns out I bought it for dh for his birthday last year LOL And he did nothing but talk about it for weeks, but I didn't make the connection!!!! I am getting seriously dippy in my old age!!!

He found The Smoking Gun website that satylite posted, and is feeling rather disillusioned by the whole book.

jenicra
01-10-2006, 11:18 AM
I think I'm with synger - it doesn't really matter to me if some of the book isn't true, I wasn't reading it for that. The message stays the same and if the author felt he had to embellish stuff in order to make a better story, I'll take his word for it that the book needed it.

satylite
01-11-2006, 04:31 PM
FYI...

James Frey's telling his side of the story tonight on Larry King (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/books_disputed_memoir;_ylt=ApGb3VF0LMqTQS5jsF0PIBh xFb8C;_ylu=X3oDMTA5aHJvMDdwBHNlYwN5bmNhdA--). With all the discussion this book and incident have brought about, I thought some of you might want to catch it.

jenicra
01-11-2006, 08:33 PM
Interesting - if I'm around I'll try to catch it.

lessofsarahtolove
01-11-2006, 09:27 PM
I read the book, loved the book, and am completely disgusted by the fact that the whole thing's based on a big pile of lies. I agree with satylite: if he'd copped to it instead of going on and on about his honesty and lying repeatedly about his "experiences," it would be different. I think his message is totally undermined by his conscious manipulation, cynicism, and opportunism. It's a damned shame. For a lot of the addicts who were inspired and motivated by his story, and for the families of addicts who died as a result of their addictions and are trying to make sense of their deaths, the fact that his book has ended up being a big bunch of stories he stood there and represented as his truth is RELEVANT and a very large and disappointing betrayal.

I think it's disgusting and it makes me sad.

lessofsarahtolove
01-11-2006, 09:36 PM
Adding to my disgust is the knowledge that he took advantage of the tragic deaths of two girls in his high school, completely manipulating their untimely deaths in a train accident to include his involvement, using it in the book to portray himself as a victim. Remember "Michelle" and his talking to her in the mirror? Bogus. Two actual girls from his high school died, but he had no involvement with either of them and somehow found it completely ok to misrepresent those real events for his own gain. Um, kind of a little reprehensible? Just a little?

Charbar
01-11-2006, 09:46 PM
I haven't read the book... or know much about it. The really sad thing is that I'm guessing most Americans won't care. Society has generally accepted that it's okay to tell a lie. Sad.

The real reason for my post is to say howdy to Sarah! Great to see you :wave:

lessofsarahtolove
01-11-2006, 11:53 PM
I haven't read the book... or know much about it. The really sad thing is that I'm guessing most Americans won't care. Society has generally accepted that it's okay to tell a lie. Sad.

The real reason for my post is to say howdy to Sarah! Great to see you :wave:
I couldn't agree more, Dana. It's a sad commentary on our society that some are so ready to dismiss this man's blatant dishonesty in consciously representing as a memoir a work that he'd had rejected by publishers numerous times when he'd previously presented it as fiction. When we read a memoir, it is expected to be a true account, not a representation of something true-ish, in which creative license in the fashioning or embellishment of a story is acceptable. It's particularly irresponsible when your message is so important and valuable to a group of people whose recovery hinges in great part on being honest with themselves and others.

On a less stern note, ( :lol: ) it's nice to see you too, Dana! :wave: Thanks for the nice hello!

jenicra
01-12-2006, 01:40 AM
I think part of my own nonchalance about it is that I didn't go into knowing that it was supposed to be autobiographical and I've never seen him speak about it or anything (no Oprah for me...:( ) From what I saw tonight, it sounds like he went around doing all this media saying that all this stuff really happened. I find that to be the worst part - I can deal with stretching the truth for the sake of story if you cop to it (which means that this book should be labeled differently, obviously). I think it's wrong that he misrepresented parts of the story, but I still don't know what exactly he's lying about or what parts are true (that's rather annoying if you ask me). It doesn't change the fact that I still enjoyed the book and that I found a positive message in it.

I guess my main thought is that I'm not sure whether or not the meaning of the message is overridden by the fact that the storyline is embellished. I also think it's sad that the publishing companies were unwilling to accept this book as a fiction novel - because I think the story still carries worth as such.

And for the record, I don't think lying is "okay." :)

satylite
01-12-2006, 02:48 AM
Sarah articulated everything I've been trying to say just beautifully. Especially the part about the two dead girls -- I was horrified when I found out he had nothing to do with that situation and used it to forward his plot. Anyway, thanks, Sarah! :)

I don't know what my perverse fascination with this whole situation is. Maybe it's because I write, and I'm working on something semi-autobiographical-but-not-really right now, and it wouldn't occur to me for one second to present it as a non-fiction work and then hide under the classification of "memoir".

I take it you saw the Larry King interview tonight, jenicra. I watched it myself, and the one thing that struck me is that Frey said nothing at all about any remorse he feels for misleading his readership. ****, just admitting that he could understand the categorization of the book might be confusing to his readers would be a start. But nothing. NOTHING. And talk about overusing the word "memoir". While I completely understand changing names or messing up timelines if writing from memory, I can't fathom how this dude can justify the fabrication of situations. HE WAS NEVER IN JAIL. I just...wow. The mind boggles.

I just feel so sorry for the people who actually believed it to be true, and had some faith in this guy.