100 lb. Club - OT - OMG Online Dating Experience
01-02-2006, 05:26 PM
Hi all --
After a little holiday-induced absence, I'm back! heh heh. I know someone is planning the ticker-tape parade as we speak .... ;)
I thought I'd start the new year by sharing an online dating experience that has left me simultaneously amazed and greatly amused.
I have a profile on an online dating site. I'm 44; I specified a preferred date age range of 35-45. (I've been meaning to update it since my birthday last month to add a year, just haven't gotten around to it.) There's a lot of humor in my profile, trying to show I don't take myself too seriously or have lots of checklists about who I'm looking for. I explain further ... "Although Iím a full-fledged, responsible adult with life experience, most people guess Iím anywhere from 5 to 15 years younger than I really am." (Which is very, very true.) "I do consider the age range listed above to be a general guideline, not a hard-and-fast rule, but I AM looking for someone who matches my not-yet-middle-aged outlook and lifestyle, and who doesn't look like he could be my father, dig?"
So today I get this email:
What's wrong with being 44? Get a grip...and enjoy life. Quit pretending to be something you are not. We all hate to age...but it's a part of life. If you need some young guy around you to make you feel young, you are headed for a sad life. You are still cute, and can attract a nice man, but boys are just going to use up what few years you have left to attract the right guy. I can rock your world, if you will grow up....: ).
So I take a look at the guy's profile ... 54 years old and looks older. Age range for date? 38-47. Also: "Selective guy seeking a special lady. She would have no kids, or kids close to moving on. If you are Irish that is even nicer. ... Hard to describe exactly what you are seeking, but it should be someone attractive to begin with, and also be very feminine, but not afraid to get her hands dirty. Someone that knows the right time and place for everything. Please respond with a photo, I know what I like."
Can you believe that? LOL Here was my response:
Wow, what prompted you to write such a hateful email to a stranger?
I have a fine grip, and enjoy life a great deal. There's nothing wrong with 44, never said there was. I am also not looking for "younger men" -- I'm looking for men who aren't old before their time. Big difference. I have friends -- and dates -- with people of all ages. One of my best friends is in her 70s.
I see a LOT more narrow-mindedness and checklists in your profile than I would ever consider having in my life. You are looking for something a lot more specific than I am. There's nothing wrong with that, but that removes your right to chastise someone else for stating any kind of preference.
P.S. I notice you are not interested in women who are your age? Only women no more than SEVEN years younger? Honey, YOU are the one who needs to get a grip.
I can't wait to see if he responds! heh heh
01-02-2006, 05:34 PM
That is *too* freakin' funny. Give 'im ****, funniegrrl (and please, please let us know what he says!)
01-02-2006, 05:36 PM
LOL!!! Too much. It's great how much vanity some people have when they really shouldn't. The narrow minded are always the first to peg everyone else as the problem! Jerk.
Have you met anyone interesting on there yet?
01-02-2006, 05:39 PM
thank you for the laugh and I would agree with you that I wouldn't guess you to be 44, more like 24 :D
01-02-2006, 06:15 PM
Good job on putting that guy in his place! :)
You MUST let us know if he replies................
01-02-2006, 08:35 PM
Yup, I have to agree..good Job!
Sad, that he's so lonely, he needs to pick fights in order to get some attention.
He sounds a little more like he's in Kindergarten than 54!
Can't wait to hear his reply!
01-02-2006, 09:30 PM
Now THAT is funny. This guy clearly has a few neurons that aren't firing like they should. Luckily, people like him are pure entertainment for the rest of us. I've got my fingers crossed that he does respond. After all, laughter is the best medicine and a few more emails from this guy could keep you from so much as catching a cold this year!
Oh, by the way, I did notice your absence and I'm glad to see you are back. I always enjoy your posts.
01-02-2006, 09:46 PM
What a jerk! I really enjoyed reading this post. I loved the last part of his profile about responding with a photo, becase it shows that he's really disillusioned. He acts as if the world is in competition to be in his company.
01-03-2006, 06:43 PM
Yes, he DID reply:
You are a bit emotional.....the mail wasn't hateful, only an observation. Maybe you should clear that up in your profile....about being old before your time. I agree with that actually...I see women on here that are 40 and look 50. I think my age range is more than realistic. I had a date friday with a girl 42 and we got along great. To be openminded, I also had a date with a girl two weeks ago that was 55.....and while she still had a great body.....her baggage was unbearable. Too many issues. I don't feel my profile is narrowminded at all, it is from years of experience and formed opinions. Women are emotional, and more forgiving about certain things than men. We tend to see a bigger picture, where you simply concentrate on smaller details. Just a nature of the beast thing.
So I just said, basically, YES, your email WAS hateful -- rude, judgemental, hypocritical. Your logic is cracked. I'm not interested in arguing about this, if I decide I need advice on how to shape myself and my preferences to meet your standards, I'll let you know. :D
P.S. Thanks Lucky! That's so sweet! :)
01-03-2006, 07:27 PM
Oh that makes me laugh!
Maybe he should consider looking for a bellboy instead of a girlfriend for all that luggage that he's carrying around.
When I on-line dated, I had this great quote from some philosopher about inner beauty never fading blah blah blah. ANYWAY, I get this email from this guy who asks me about the quote and talk about philosophy - it was a long email. Like 2 pages of introduction and then at the end he asks if the quote is a reference to being overweight (was he blind? I had a picture on the site). Then he talks about how he just dumped his girlfriend of 3 years because she had gained too much weight. There was another page of justifications for dumping her - mainly she was skinny when they first got together so he felt that she should stay that way. He said he wanted me to know up-front and asked if that would be a problem for me.
I wrote back: Yes.
01-03-2006, 07:50 PM
OMG - that guy is too much. He sounds like the beast to me. Calling a woman who is 42 a girl says a lot. Also, that "women are more emotional" stuff really gets me riled up. I had this boss who complained about a female coworker of mine being too emotional because she cried once when another coworker stabbed her in the back on a project. This was the same guy who would get so angry that he slammed doors, screamed at employees and would have to lie down with the lights off in his office to calm down. Crying is emotional and anger isn't?
His loss in the long run. With those kinds of attitudes there is little chance of his having a mature, fulfilling relationship.
01-03-2006, 08:20 PM
Jessica I LOVE your answer to that email. ;)
Nancy what amused me about the "emotional" comments is that (a) my being emotional or not has NOTHING to do with my preferred age range for a date; (b) saying women are inevitably emotional, which of course is a crock; then (c) called my response emotional (when it wasn't) and implied that was a criticism. So, what, bub? I'm emotional BECAUSE I'm a woman, I can't HELP being emotional, but I SHOULDN'T be emotional about a lil' impartial observation? :rolleyes: Cracked, I tell you.
01-03-2006, 10:16 PM
funniegrrl, nice to see you back.
That guy obviously has some issues. I also picked up the fact that he referred to a 42 year old as a girl. And his criteria for women....unbelievable. Don't you just wish you could cyber pimp slap people??
01-03-2006, 10:25 PM
.... takes notes on what NOT to do if I get into online dating. :D
01-03-2006, 10:36 PM
But I'm sure you wouldn't behave in such a way!!
01-04-2006, 12:34 AM
Holy cow, what a twit! :dizzy: Good for you for responding accordingly. Doesn't sound like he's about to have a lightbulb moment, but ya never know.
Thanks also for sharing the online dating experiences - nice to know I'm not the only one who's met a few wack-a-doos. The last guy I went out with was telling me about his hike up half dome in Yosemite (I'm planning to do it in the spring). Turns out the thing that surprised him most was not the amazing scenery, or the tough hike. Nope. My guy was "completely amazed at the number of fat people who had made it to the top". He actually said that it really took away from the experience for him. Oy. It was all I could do not to dump my latte (sugar free, skinny ;) ) on his head.
Ah well, there have to be at least a few normal guys out there, right?
Good luck with the search! :D
01-04-2006, 12:38 AM
I wrote back: Yes.And this is why you are a Goddess. :)
funniegrrl, he sounds like a real piece of work!
01-04-2006, 12:44 AM
Alright, so I'm happily married with three kids. I love my life but it can get boring at times. After hearing everyone's online stories I'm thinking I should sign up just for the sheer enterainment of seeing how many bozos I could provoke!
Take heart though, there MUST be some normal guys out there. My DH signed up with a dating service before we were married. He denies this, of course (why, I don't know). But I found his membership card/reciept and he was like, "Oh, they just sent that free in the mail." Whatever. I still tease him - not because he was signed up but because he denies it. LOL. Anywho, he's perfectly normal and would have been a great catch for somebody had I not snatched him up! I am sure there are others like him out there.
01-04-2006, 03:11 AM
Great stories! My husband and I met through an online dating service. I had a reasonably lengthy profile up, and couldn't believe the number of guys who would write to me something like: "Hi, I'm John, 6'4", 180 pounds. Tell me about yourself." AH! I already did, you moron!!!! It's your turn already.
Keep taking those notes, Charles!
01-04-2006, 10:28 AM
Jessica- perfect answer :lol: but he didn't even deserve those 3 letters ;)
funnigal - online dating.. yuck! - I'm so glad to be over that. I did meet my dh online, however. Way back in late 97! - the stone age for online dating. I consider myself very lucky! :love:
That's the one thing that always winds me up when random blokes email or message me (I'm not really signed up on dating sites but they still seem to find my details somewhere). I do not want to tell someone all about myself without the slightest bit of information about who they are. And I definitely don't want to get into any conversation that starts "Hi, do you have a photo".
Well, yes I do, but you're not having it. Not because I'm fat or ugly (not now anyway ;) ), but because I'd prefer to talk to someone slightly less shallow than that. Unlikely to find one, I know, but I can dream...
01-04-2006, 03:15 PM
Ya know, I don't have an issue with wanting to see a photo first. I don't think it's about being shallow, but there are definitely types of men I am NOT interested in. Still, I am amused by the guys who have profiles that basically don't say anything about them other than vital stats and the sports teams they root for. :rolleyes: They are usually the ones that send one-sentence emails. I understand about not wanting to carry on too long online before meeting, and about most men not being as verbal as women. But c'mon ... I'm supposed to be interested in meeting you based on NO information? What rock are you living under ... ? :P
01-04-2006, 04:25 PM
I agree with this picture thing. I donít want to loose my time neither loose someone else time. This is the reason why I always have a picture available and ask for one when a profile seems interesting.