Weight Loss Support - Nice sister!!!!!

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almost there
12-28-2005, 12:15 AM
My sister and I both have had weight problems in the past (I was always skinny as a child and in highschool, I only put on my weight the last couple of years from having my kids)! My sister has always had to work on her weight and she is at a comfortable weight for her now (I think about the same weight as me 135, however she is afew inches taller than me)! Anyways, when I decided to lose my weight (I started at 171 pounds), she SEEMED happy for me during the process. This year she had Christmas supper at her house. She is a great baker and she had alot of sweets put out. I had alot of people comment me on how great I looked and congratulated me etc. Nobody said anything toher but I guess because they have seen her since her weight loss, and my weightloss is recent. Anyways, I decided to stay away from the sweets and dessert but I enjoyed my meal (minus the potatoes and gravy)! I had alot of turkey and roastbeef (stayed away from the ham)! She kept commenting to me while I was eating that she cant believe I was eating so little (Infront of everyone)! I ate alot, more than I would at any other meal. Then tonight (2 days after Christmas), she phoned me and was really cold to me and then she says to me "I cant believe that you didnt eat much during Christmas, that really upset me, I thought you were going junk with me" She went on and on to say she put on abit of weight the last week, but big deal she is going to get it off. She keeps telling me that I am being obsessed with this weightloss (which is not true, i had tons of food (mostly meat and vegetables) on my plate. And anyways, what is it to her?????? It just seems like she is on my back. My husband said she is jealous because I had control and because I look better than she does (in my hubbys eyes anyways, ha)! Has anybody else experienced something like this and why do you think she is like that?

12-28-2005, 12:50 AM
I am sorry to hear about your sister. I don't really know how it feels to have jealous sister, because my sister is really supportive. When we were younger she was the one who had weight problem more than me, but she lost all of it, and she is really petite person now days. She actually encourages me, and compliments my weight loss, and actually got me some new outfits.
I think your husband is right, that she is jealous. May be it made her frustrated when people complimented you at the dinner, but not her loss. Whatever that made her to speak to you that way, just don't let it bother you.

emerald dragonfly
12-28-2005, 12:51 AM
Jealous? Sounds ungrateful to me. I thought family was to support each other.
Did she think you and her were suppose to sit down and "pig out" on Christmas dinner? Man, I just don't get it. She should be proud of you...I am and I don't even know you! :hug:

I personally never experienced this..I was always the "fattest" person in the family. Everyone else had small figures. Holidays were painful to me when I was younger. Now I don't worry about it because we don't go over to the family dinners. I stay home with my own family, husband & kids, and enjoy my meals with them. :)

Give her some space...maybe she'll think about what she said and call to appologize??? I wish i could help you out.

emerald dragonfly

12-28-2005, 08:50 AM
To me, it sounds like she got frustrated with her own lack of control because she didn't have someone else to blame it on, "Oh, my sister and I both pigged out..." and so she took it out on you. She probably was a little bit jealous that you were getting so many compliments on your loss while she knew that she had put on a little weight over the holidays. Hopefully she'll apologize, but even if she doesn't, I'd probably scratch it up to a bad day on her part and let it go. You know you've been doing wonderfully. :)

12-28-2005, 10:28 AM
I agree, she probably wanted to make herself feel better by having you go off your plan WITH her.... so she wouldn't feel like the only one.

As for being "obsessed" with weightloss.... well, you kind of have to be, to an extent. You have to be somewhat vigilant or all those fattening, taste-good comfort foods will slip into every meal.... and undo all your hard work. I think it's admirable that you watched what you ate at Christmas.... it's hard at the holidays!

You should listen to those who are complimenting you, and not those who try to sabotage you. :)

almost there
12-29-2005, 01:15 AM
Thanks everyone for your replies. I really didnt think of it that way, but it makes sense. She probably was upset at her self for gaining and wanted me to be there with her. Well, I proved her wrong, ha. I have to say though, when we hung up the phone I grabbed a little chocolate because she made me SO mad.

12-29-2005, 09:20 PM
I have three older sisters. The sister right above me is like that. But she is always like that. If I rescue a new dog she will call me to complain I have another dog in the house. Then call everyone in the family to complain, then they call me etc.... She has to have someone to put down and I am the youngest sister soooo it all falls to me, I have not had one conversation with her in my 30 years that I can remember when she didn't put me, my husband, children or dogs down. So I guess I am just used to things like that. When ever she calls me to say she is going to try to lose some weight I just say great!! I will not diet with her because I have more will power than her and she blames me for everything. So your sister was probley upset that the party was at HER house and she wasn't the center of attention. I am very proud of you for eating what you wanted and doing what is best for you!!! Keep up the good work!!!