Weight Loss Support - Why can't people just mind their own business?




madscientist
12-27-2005, 04:39 AM
I have been going on nice long walks lately as part of my exercise. Two of the three walks I've had since I started this last week, someone has made some remark to me. Okay, I realize I weigh 300lbs, I'm an easy target. But :censored: , people! One guy asked me while I was sitting on a rock on a hiking path (after walking 2 miles on a treacherous path, mind you) if I was "having fun." I said I was having a great time. He said, "Yeah, right, just keep trying to convince me of that." I whipped around and said, "Well I think after two miles on this path every hiker knows is a hard one, I don't need to convince you of s**t." He looked at me funny and walked on. UGH. Then today while hiking another trail, I had someone look at me and say, "Don't worry, you've only got another two miles of this trail left. Hope you can make it!" And then laughed. Let me just say that I did not appear at all like I was struggling or anything. Because well, I wasn't struggling (until I had an asthma attack but that was much further down the trail). What, because I'm fat I automatically am not going to be able to anything? I suppose if it was up to these people, I'd be bedridden and placed out of society permanently.

I've also had total strangers ask me why I'm so fat. I've had people who I was having perfectly innocent conversations with about my professional field ask how it is that someone can work in the medical profession and still be fat. As I was searching for a response, they even went on to ask me if I even "bother" to eat better and exercise!!! I was about to punch that little :censored: but my name was called, as it was my turn AT THE SALON! Yes, a simple Fantastic Sams appointment brought about this stimulating dialogue.

I've had punk teenage boys yell "Fat ***!" and "fat *****!" to me more times than I can count.

I don't get it. I don't even LOOK at people anymore and give them the chance to speak to me. I don't make small talk anymore because i'm afraid it'll just lead to another insult. When someone attempts to chat me up in a line somewhere, I ignore them. I hate to be a ***** like that, but I'm completely defensive after putting up with years of crappy remarks.

I hate how being this size in this society makes me feel and the kind of person it turns me into. I don't want to be withdrawn, antisocial, and bitter towards people. It's not me... not the me that's buried under 300lbs of fat anyway.

Now I just feel like not even going out to walk again. Another side of me, who has a very ":censored: YOU! I'LL SHOW YOU! type of attitude wants to do them more, get this weight off me, and not have to live with the abuse anymore. On any given day, either one has a 50/50 chance of being my attitude.

Now that I have vented to you poor people, can anyone relate?


Jen415
12-27-2005, 08:11 AM
Yes indeed, I can relate! It doesn't happen as openly as it used to, but it still happens. Obese people are the last acceptable "minority" to be openly discriminated against. Have you seen the "fat suit investigations" that have been going on lately--one was done by Tyra Banks, the other by a reporter from Entertainment Tonight? Google them and read it.....the results shouldn't surprise you. The thin women that were put in the fat suits now have a glance of the world through our eyes.

That all being said, I agree with your ":censored: 'em" attitude. People feel the need to be mean to others that are not like them to make them feel better about themselves. Remember, THEY'RE the one with the problem, not YOU.

I would do one of two things:
1. Arm myself with snappy comebacks (the one you did was a good one!)
2. Kill them with kindness. Give them a smile or a laugh. Show them that their words do not hurt you. If they see it doesn't affect you they will shut the heck up and leave you alone.

Do whatever works for you, but don't let the cruelty of strangers keep you from your goals. If you stop walking because of stupid jerks like the ones you've encountered, THEY WIN.

lucky
12-27-2005, 10:37 AM
I am not here to defend the morons who ask why you are fat, how you can be in the medical profression and still be fat, or the immature teenagers who clearly need a good knot yanked in their heads.

I do, however, want to offer another take on the comments made to you while you were out hiking. I've had similar things said to me while I was out exercising. It is still my knee jerk reaction to think I'm being attacked because of my weight. But, then I remember that I'm not actually fat anymore. My sister is skinny (not "thin", SKINNY) and the same things are said to her. I have come to honestly believe that in most athletic/fitness type settings people saying something like, "Having fun?" is friendly banter. When the guy said, "Yeah, just keep trying to convince me of that." he may very well have been implying that he knew it was a tough trail and HE wasn't having a great time trying to conquer it. I don't think these people are trying to be cruel. In fact, most people who are interested in their own fitness are almost always glad to see those of us who need it the most out exercising. The problem is that if they've never been overweight they have no idea how their comments come across to someone who is.

Of course, I can't know for sure the intent of the people you met on that trail. And I am certainly not trying to discount the feelings you had when you spoke with them. I'm just trying to offer a different perspective since I've had the same conversations as a fat person and as a thinner one.

At any rate, you are working hard and getting results so just keep doing what you know works and let everyone else out there think/say what they want. You are doing GREAT!


1fatlady
12-27-2005, 10:43 AM
Hey mad scientist....I totally agree with everything you just said. I don't think I have been so openly confronted with remarks, but one that does stand out in my mind is when my daughter came home one day from school and said there one of her "friends" and said to her...why is your mom so fat, she weighs like 350 pounds, now this remark had my daughter crying...now just think how that made me feel.

One come back you could use...though I know it is juvenile...is....
When someone says stuff like that..."your fat"...and such...you could look them square in the eyes and say.."yeah I am fat, but I can lose this weight if I choose, but unfortunately you will always be ugly, now have yourself a great day now..ya hear"...then walk off.

Or you could just say...."Your ignorant"...

Sigh....yes this is the last "minority" that it seems to be politically correct to verbally abuse.

The world is full of mean, abusive ignorant people hon,,,,,you keep that walking up though...you are sooooooo worth it...and piss on the ones who don't "get it", they don't count anyway.

Now perk up,,,(chin up)...and have a great day.

Teresa

RobertW
12-27-2005, 10:51 AM
Isn't Colorado the leanest state? I can see why if public mockery of the obese is commonplace there.

I am surprised people have that attitude with you when you are out there exercising. I could sort of understand them THINKING along those lines if someone my size elbowed them out of the way at an all-you-can-eat buffet, or they were wedged in next to me on a long plane ride and i asked for a seconf meal from the flight attendant, but I would think they would be a little more positive since you are actually out there trying to improve yourself. Don't let them chase you off the hiking trails.

P.S. Are you a scientist? I am a microbiologist studying bacteriophage transcription.

Star
12-27-2005, 10:55 AM
mad scientist....Hi - I like Jawsmoms outlook on what those folks said to you. And then the teenagers - well they are teenagers. I know when I was in my teens I did some pretty mean stuff (not calling anyone fat BUT)....
The really important thing is that you keep up doing all the right stuff and your payoff will show all the 'meanies' that you are a winner. The difference will be that when you are thin and see a overweight person on that trail that you will smile and say something really nice.
Don't let the flakes of the world get you down...just stay on trail...

PsycoPhat
12-27-2005, 11:18 AM
I've had that happen to me before too. I was walking my dog several years ago and some jackass yelled "Out walking your boyfriend?" When I say several years ago it was more like 10, and I still remember everything about that moment. I was crushed. I'm sorry it happened to you too. :hug:
Kathy

BeatlesFan
12-27-2005, 11:22 AM
There are just too many people in the world that think that their words are worth hearing. I was referred to one day as the "girl that doesn't look like she needs a lunch." Sweet, she referred to me as a girl!

futuresurferchick
12-27-2005, 12:20 PM
When I was a kid, I got all the comments. Many kids were very cruel to me. I don't usually get them now, probably because I am tall as well so I am maybe not as wide, and also because maybe people around here are a bit more polite about that kind of thing. Anyway I know how you feel, and it's horrible. But don't let it stop you.

Yesterday I was shopping with my friend who is skinny as a rail and recently lost about 40 lbs. We were in the bookstore and she said to me "hey look, 'change your life in 28 days' is on sale!" as an offhand comment to me. I know she thinks I will never lose weight. I was thinking screw you, I've already lost over 20 lbs, you just haven't noticed yet! We can do this, we just gotta keep going.

stagemomx3
12-27-2005, 12:41 PM
"Having fun?" is friendly banter. When the guy said, "Yeah, just keep trying to convince me of that." he may very well have been implying that he knew it was a tough trail and HE wasn't having a great time trying to conquer it.


This was my thought too, upon reading about your hikes. The other stuff well that's cruel, or rude or both! :hug:

Tani
12-27-2005, 01:50 PM
I'm with the kill them with kindness crowd. Smiling sweetly and wishing someone well after you've been insulted always makes people more uncomfortable than showing they've gotten to you.

Lately though, I've realized that not all of the comments that I took badly when I was heavier had anything to do with my weight. Things like waitresses asking me if I want diet syrup. That used to make me feel terrible in a restaurant. But, it's so funny, people still ask me that all the time. It's a good reminder that it's not always about *me* :lol:

boiaby
12-27-2005, 02:10 PM
I tend to agree with Jawsmom too. :^: Although I don't know for sure, it doesn't seem like the comments you described were meant to be taken the way you did. That would explain why that one guy looked at you strangely after your retort. Do you think it's possible that it could have been an over reaction to what is clearly a deeply sensitive and personal subject? Just give it some thought, people can be stupid but they're not all a$$holes. Some people just have no business opening their mouths 'cause who knows what kind of ludicrous crap may come tumbling out?!

Beverly

DaisyBug08004
12-27-2005, 02:15 PM
Okay - here is the thing... we all KNOW that what other people say about you says more about them than it does about you. We know all about the not stooping to their level... taking the high road, killing them with kindness yada yada yada...

BUT - the simple truth is that while we take that attitude and WE know what it means the ignoramuses (or is it ignorami, LOL) who find it necessary to point out that we weigh more than is conventionally acceptable interpret that as an invitation to continue to walk all over us. SO - it is okay to be angry. Not violent of course. But you know what? If someone is going to say anything to ME they are just begging for a scathing reply. I try real hard not to disappoint.

One thing that is important to note - don't do it to yourself. DOn't isolate yourself or allow the negative remarks to dwell in your head. Later - when you are a smaller curvacous goddess - you will need all those skills. You will want to start practicing your strut and smiling at everyone. Remember that many times what you project out is what is read by others. You will want to stay positive and focus on what is in your heart - where you are headed. If you find yourself in a position where people are nasty - snap back - then wash your hands and move on - don't make others pay for the sins of the ignorant. Just be the best you you can be... To heck with those losers!

Oh and teenage boys - their opinions so do not count. Heck - they can't even keep their pants up - I mean seriously - who wants to see their undies, right?? LOL...

WeighToGo
12-27-2005, 03:25 PM
Jawsmom-I would have written your post word for word except you did it better. :dizzy: I was a couch potato who weighed 220 lbs. I'm now 170 lbs. and a marathon runner and hiker. I can absolutely see saying those exact words as just sort of friendly-talk to people I met along the trail-meaning it was tough for me too. It could actually be a positive because if I was just thinking someone was fat, I would be very careful about my words. If I said those things to fellow hikers, it would just mean that I was thinking about how tough the trail was, not how fat the hiker was. I hope that was the case with the hikers you encountered.

BTW-I'm now a running coach for beginning runners. I am part of a fantastic running club with about 150 active members at any one time. I have never heard any of them make a negative comment about someone who joined us or was entered in a race or just out moving. BUT, I can't tell you how many people in my groups (who are overweight) say that people are giving them mean looks, etc. I promise, they really AREN'T. They are glad to have another convert.

icedragon6669
12-27-2005, 05:42 PM
I agree with jawsmum and dianne, i tend to say "having fun" to people i see out and about. I say it because i tend not to know what else to say, i say it to skinny people and fat, it is just a comment. I think it is great you are out and hiking! at 280 pounds i was too self concious! and could hardly walk 50 metres without huffing and puffing.

Yesterday i went kayaking! and i had someone offer me a "steak", they were on a houseboat, and i just didn't know what to say! I laughed and said no!
I also had a guy leaning out of a car last week, while i was walking yell out "look there is another b***ch trying to lose weight! they are everywhere"

I know it is hard but most comments you need to take "like water off a ducks back" just ignore or let it go. People are cruel! very cruel! but if you let the comments get to you, you will end up not walking! and then you will always be down on yourself! Just think to yourself "your not going to stop me doing what i want" get out there and do it!

I find i get a lot of horrible remarks off friends and family now that i am almost to my "normal" weight. and that I hate, the two edged comments!
It gets worse the more you lose!

I love the saying
I may be fat , but i can always lose weight, nothing you do will ever make you grow a brain and teach you how to use it!

Keep your chin up, ignore the a**h**es, and keep up the good work!
Sonja

invisigoth
12-27-2005, 08:03 PM
This is an interesting thread. I think Jawsmom has an interesting point. Maybe they were just trying to chit-chat. But I absolutely give you cheers for telling those jerk-offs who give you grief about your weight.

I have been overweight for most of my life. When I was in high school, I was extremely self-conscious when I was walking by myself in public. I was always afraid people were talking about me and making fun of me. I hated walking around, and when there were a bunch of young kids standing around I went to great pains to avoid walking near them. It was kind of arrogant, really: I was the piece of s--- that the world revolved around.

I don't think it was until I got into college that I stopped listening to what others were saying and just tuned everything out. I had a lot of fun times and good friends, but when it came to being in a public place alone, I just ignored what was happening around me. I'm not sure that was exactly a good thing. I usually have no idea when a stranger starts talking to me when I'm out in public, since I've done such a fine job tuning people out. I think coming up with some witty quips might be a better answer.

I walk at least 2 miles a day now, mostly in the very early morning when not many people are up. I like the quiteness of the morning. However, there still is that self-consious part of me that wants to avoid other people when I'm exercising. A part of that has to do with the fact I live on a busy street and I really don't want my clients to figure out where I live. Another part of me is still that self-conscious kid that wants to melt into the background.

emerald dragonfly
12-27-2005, 11:40 PM
Madscientist,
I have just one word for you: KHARMA. Believe in this. I do and it works when you least expect it to. LOL!! ;)

emerald dragonfly

squiggly
12-31-2005, 11:20 PM
I'm sorry that you have had to deal with morons like that. My persoanl opinion is to ignore them. They are making idiots out of themselves. You need to keep walking. Heck, by the end of the year the same guys that are making the negative comments now may be the ones staring later for another reason and you can tell them to shove it. My opinion is if someone can't treat me with respect now they don't deserve the time of day later. I hate the way society puts more into a person's look than into the real person. The beauty is on the inside not the outside. YOu'll get the last laugh.

pixiefalls
12-31-2005, 11:55 PM
I also do agree that the guy on the trail probably didn't mean it the way you took it but don't get me wrong.. I'm very sensetive to what people say because of the comments I have heard!

I've also had total strangers ask me why I'm so fat. I've had people who I was having perfectly innocent conversations with about my professional field ask how it is that someone can work in the medical profession and still be fat.

My sister once had my little second cousin chanting "why are you so fat?" to me.... I was only 13..... and had been straving myself to loose the weight. I wish I could forget that.. and I'm trying too.

I'm with the kill them with kindness crowd. Smiling sweetly and wishing someone well after you've been insulted always makes people more uncomfortable than showing they've gotten to you.

Lately though, I've realized that not all of the comments that I took badly when I was heavier had anything to do with my weight.

I agree! Maybe it will make them think of what they say. I know sometimes people who have never been overweight just plain don't think of what they are saying all the time.. and sometimes they do and that's sad, I know.

I've had punk teenage boys yell "Fat ***!" and "fat *****!" to me more times than I can count.

I was sitting in a pool at the shallow end once (very very shallow) and this boy maybe around my then age bumped into me and said excuse me until he turned around and remarked "oh, it's a fat girl" and I was under 10... I ran to my mom crying.

wednesdaymorning
01-01-2006, 01:54 AM
Things like this always make me sad. Hearing about them, or having them happen to me. I try not to be sensitive, but we all know that's hard. My personal story is from when I was in the seventh or eighth grade. I went on a feild trip that was all about helping the community. I chose to walk dogs for a somewhat local shelter. I was in the car with my Spanish teacher (who was probably my favourite teacher at the time) and these other kids that I didn't know. None of the kids were mean to me, in fact, they were all very nice. But we walked up to the car and everyone was yelling "Shotgun!" and my teacher huddled the other kids in a corner (like, because I was fat, I couldn't hear) and said, "We should let Jessica sit in the front, you know, she's biggest." I was holding back tears. Then we got in and everyone was having a good time. We got our dogs and started walking and the teacher kept following me, asking me if I was tired and kept trying to take the dog away from me because it may have been "too hard for me to walk him." It wasn't a hard walk at all, and she treated me like I was too fat to move. That was a horrible experience for me. So uncomfortable. I wanted to die. That's part of the reason why I like animals more than people. They don't really care about your weight. That woman put the idea into my head that I was fat. I never had really cared about it before. Then it was an obsession... People are so uncaring. And the funny thing is, they actually think they're doing you good to say these things.

I suggest you go with the "kill 'em with kindness" move. It works out. Better than what I do, which is fly off the handle most of the time. I've got a temper on me. But as much as it hurts, you win if you don't let it get you down. Plus, you have us. *grin* And we won't say anything like that to ya.

FL_Chickie
01-01-2006, 09:01 AM
I had a boyfriend once who had some issues with me being heavy, but he honestly thought he didn't. However, it became apparent in a couple of ways. The first was when I realized he didn't want me around his friends, and when I asked why, he said that they could be kind of mean without meaning to, that he heard them saying things about people they saw out in the clubs who were fat, and he didn't want me to be upset by their rudeness...mind you, they hadn't met me, and I've been heavy for quite a while, I'm used to people. But he didn't give them the chance to get to know me because HE was upset by the thought of being seen with a fat chick.

In a conversation shortly after that, he asked if I would like to come to Thanksgiving Dinner at his house, but he wanted to know if I'd be comfortable "around people who are all normal-sized" and that I could choose not to go if I thought it would feel awkward, because he wanted me to be comfortable (translation: he asked because I was dating him, but wasn't comfortable with the thought of me being there because his family might think there's something wrong with me or him).

We didn't date long.

suechef
01-01-2006, 10:49 AM
I agree that hiker #1 doesn't sound like he was trying to be unkind. When he said "Yeah, right, just keep trying to convince me of that.", sounds like maybe HE was finding it hard going.

As for others, who are really unkind... what about saying something like, (in a moderate tone), "you know, I AM overweight. And I am out here trying to do something about it. Your remarks were not very nice." Something simpl.e and to the point. And I would think - I would hope! - that would shame anyone who still has any kind of conscience.

Hang in there! Those people are not the people who matter to you.
cheers,
Sue

Safiyah_is_Fluffy
01-01-2006, 04:45 PM
they are right you know, to **** with all of them.......

I know it's hard, I still remember every single thing that happened to me where someone was rude because of my weight and those things haunt me every day of my life....

trying to develop a shake it off attitude is better, walk past em like you didn't hear a thing and immediately put anopther thought in your head, we don't commit stuff to long term memory unless we want to....save your brain cells for all the good stuff :)

FL_Chickie
01-02-2006, 09:40 AM
I'm sorry you had to ever be involved with a man like that, it's sad to see things like that. You are so much better than him.

Well, like I said...we didn't date long. :carrot: I basically told him that he seems to be a lot more concerned with what other people think of my weight than I am -- I know what I look like and who I am, and I don't need someone else to validate me or, on the other hand, to judge me for what I look like. If he was so concerned about what other people thought rather than the fun we had, then it wasn't meant to be. And it truly wasn't. Last I heard he is engaged to a girl 2 years younger than him who is a very petite blonde (I am a 5'4", 206 lb brunette/redhead depending on what color I feel like dying my hair this month :devil: ). I don't feel bad about it, just surprised that people could be so into the image they portray to others that they can't even hang around someone who is different. To me, it's a lack of maturity.

In any case, didn't mean to hijack the thread, just wanted to offer some support and a story to the original poster. :hug:

DeafinlySmart
01-02-2006, 10:05 AM
A little off topic but seems like a good place to vent. Try being Deaf. We run into stupid people all the time. I look up and someone is shouting (mad) "Are you DEAF or something?" They aren't really asking, they are complaining that they didnt get noticed. Always shames them when I say, "Ummm...Yeah." If you are Deaf, Walmart shouldn't hire you. I'm not kidding you! I've been refused service because I have to order at a drive through window instead of at the speaker. I almost got turned down for govt housing because I asked for $100 light smoke alarm. "Disabled people should be taken out in the field and shot like a lame horse." "Why do you need an interpreter for pre-surgery?" That was said through an interpreter. The list could go on. I've always said, being Deaf is not the problem. Other people's ignorance is.

tipsygypsy
01-02-2006, 11:12 AM
God, this thread is painful to read. But the title of it made me think of something I wrote in my diary, long ago in one of my failed "I'm gonna DO this! No, really, I mean it this time" moments (patent pending).

This excerpt is kind of long, for which I hope you'll forgive me, but I wondered how many of y'all would relate to and/or agree with the part I've highlighted in bold:



It's long past time for me to admit that I have an addiction to sugar, and I can't do the whole "just a taste" thing. Yeah, it sucks, but it also sucks when alcoholics can't have one drink to toast the new year, and have to have a fake beer while watching the game. It sucks when diabetics have to use artificial sweetener. People are different anyway, but diseases separate us even more. And I have a disease called obesity.

I wonder how long it will take before some ***hole finds this diary and sends me hate mail or a note telling me that "obesity isn't a disease. It's a matter of self-control; learn to stop eating so much and you'll be fine" and so forth and so on. Probably not long. They're part of the same crowd as the schoolkids I mentioned above, in that they neither understand nor want to. They don't really want fat people to lose weight. We might become competition then; we might become real.

DaisyBug08004
01-02-2006, 12:18 PM
A little off topic but seems like a good place to vent. Try being Deaf. We run into stupid people all the time. I look up and someone is shouting (mad) "Are you DEAF or something?" They aren't really asking, they are complaining that they didnt get noticed. Always shames them when I say, "Ummm...Yeah." If you are Deaf, Walmart shouldn't hire you. I'm not kidding you! I've been refused service because I have to order at a drive through window instead of at the speaker. I almost got turned down for govt housing because I asked for $100 light smoke alarm. "Disabled people should be taken out in the field and shot like a lame horse." "Why do you need an interpreter for pre-surgery?" That was said through an interpreter. The list could go on. I've always said, being Deaf is not the problem. Other people's ignorance is.

None of this is okay - and most of it is illegal. I would say that you should probably report these folks to an advocate for disabled citizens. It is not okay with me for them to treat you like that and I am here to tell ya - if I ever am near anything going on like that I speak up and make a stink. It is just wrong. You are only trying to level the playing field...

And - oh yeah - let's shoot all the disabled people?!?! Dod that Loser have any idea who he or she would be killing? Folks like Beethoven, Stephen Hawking, FDR, Helen Keller - Rush Limbaugh (okay - well maybe I could have agreed to load the gun for that one, LOL JK!!! no one yell at me! Just Freaking Kidding!)

Sometimes I just want to slap people - You go Girl!

DeafinlySmart
01-02-2006, 01:20 PM
"None of this is okay - and most of it is illegal. I would say that you should probably report these folks to an advocate for disabled citizens. It is not okay with me for them to treat you like that and I am here to tell ya - if I ever am near anything going on like that I speak up and make a stink. It is just wrong. You are only trying to level the playing field..."



*SMILE* I'm far from a victim. I've called state senators, lawyers in the pentagons, called the EEOC, went and got a degree in deaf education so I could role model. I've called advocate agencies, etc. I've done a lot in my time. I also briefly worked in social work for deaf victims of domestic violence and rape. MOST of the time the situation calls for gentle education. Other times I have to be more agressive. It is VERY amazing how 20+ years after the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) some areas of the country (usually the smaller cities that have had less exposure) is still largely ignored. Also more amazing that if you are in a wheelchair, you aren't diabled. Of course many of the Deaf culture say they are not disabled but instead there is a language barrier. That's largely true, but my opinion is that the difference is other language minorities CAN choose to learn our language. We can never hear it. Personally I love my life. I don't even mind educating those that just don't know. It's those that I've taught and they just don't want to learn that I have to fight with.

chick_in_the_hat
01-02-2006, 02:35 PM
Oh and teenage boys - their opinions so do not count. Heck - they can't even keep their pants up - I mean seriously - who wants to see their undies, right?? LOL...

:lol3: :lol: :rofl: Too TRUE!!!!!

As for mad scientist - as a dedicated walker I have one word of advice that I haven't seen yet....headphones!!! Then, whatever they say, just smile and wave! :wave:

They don't even have to be turned on...but music makes me walk faster! :carrot:

DeafinlySmart
01-02-2006, 02:44 PM
headphones-

That's good advice. There is nothing like a distraction to help the walking go faster.

I used to walk with my husband when I had this frustrating job and the more I talked about how irritating my boss was, the more I was suprised when our daily 2 miles was up and would suggest we keep going. These days I walk in stores. That is not as fast paced and it hurts my pocket book so I have to find another past time.

People don't talk to peeps in headphones. If they do, they look at it, quickly realize it and say nevermind. Besides, I think headphones make you look committed and serious.

TBJ333
01-02-2006, 03:43 PM
Do people really think that it's acceptable to insult overweight people? Would the aforementioned jerks chew with their mouths open? Or pick their noses in public? Probably not, but they don't seem to understand the general social principle of DON'T BE RUDE. *shrug*

Insulting overweight people must be some sick kind of attempt at improving one's own self-esteem. Some people think of life as a giant pecking order, and they think the way to succeed is to make sure someone is "below" them. I don't know that there's any way to change people who are like that.

ElisabethCK
01-02-2006, 11:35 PM
I have gotten to the point in my life where I am in my world most of the time, so folks may say rude things but I don't even hear them. I mean literally. However, one thing happened this very week that bothered me:

I was walking past a girl's desk at work, and apparently she said something to another coworker about how she couldn't eat any more Christmas cookies because she would get fat. I didn't actually hear her say this, but if I had, it would not have bothered me as it had nothing to do with me. However, she thought I had heard her, so she sent me a rather long email explaining how she was so sorry, she would never have said that if she knew I was around, it was so inconsiderate given my situation, etc.

I have worked with this girl for almost two years and I know her to be quite nice, so I am perfectly sure that she meant it all for the best. However, it left me thinking - exactly how disgustingly fat do people view me as anyway? Since none of my coworkers ever mention my weight around me, it is so easy for me to forget that I don't look like they do and to think that they view me just like anyone else. Well, that bubble certainly was burst.

tipsygypsy
01-02-2006, 11:41 PM
God, how I hate the "OMG I didn't mean to say the F WORD!" attitude I get sometimes. C'mon, people, I know I'm a little bigger than you are. It doesn't mean my head's going to explode if you mention weight.

By the way, Elisabeth, is that you in your avatar? You are absolutely beautiful! :)

ElisabethCK
01-03-2006, 03:40 PM
Tipsy - Yes, that is me. Thank you so much! You just made my day. :)

damejane
01-03-2006, 07:11 PM
what people think of me is NOT NOT important, what they say to me is NOT NOT NOT important, the only thing (besides my Awesome Family ) is my health..
and people like that to me are just ignorant....i usually give them a Look like
" ya think"?..
makes them think
i say Piss off !..lol

chaosqueenie22
01-03-2006, 08:26 PM
I know exactly where you are coming from..I quit going to the gym because I got tired of the crap everytime I got on a machine.
I just keep singing to myself that old Queen song everytime I hear a comment
"Fat Bottom girls..you make the rockin' world go round"
back to the grindstone(well back to my workout tapes..but same difference)

DeafinlySmart
01-03-2006, 10:02 PM
Luckily for me I usually can't hear these things. :D

If you don't tap me on the shoulder and look at me, I haven't a clue. Most people making offhand comments wouldn't know. Loving it.