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Old 12-08-2005, 10:23 PM   #1  
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Unhappy Married Weight?

hey ladies-

hi, my name is michelle and i have been married a year in Feb. I have gained 30 pounds since last year and it is ruining parts of my relationship (i Feel) and i just makes me feel ugly. Is this normal for newly weds or is it just us. If this relates to anyone please let me know! i really need support on loosing weight from ladies who have been in my position. Thanks Girls
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Old 12-08-2005, 10:34 PM   #2  
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well i'm not married yet....just engaged. But i think that gaining weight is easy to do once your in a commited relationship. After my first year with my fiance i gained over 20 lbs myself. I was really worried too, but i think that my reason for weight gain was the fact that i was way too comfortable in the relationship. i don't know about you but when i first started to date Chris i watched what i ate because i didn't want him to think i was a pig. But after a while i just didn't care because he didn't. So i wouldn't worry to much about it, it just means your comfortable in your relationship and that's a good thing. Hope i helped!
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Old 12-08-2005, 10:38 PM   #3  
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I can't help too much b/c when I got married I was already pregnant, so I was deffinatley gaining weight!
But, after dh and I were dating for while and living together, I gained about 10 lbs. My problem was that we were eating out, though. I dunno.
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Old 12-08-2005, 11:09 PM   #4  
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It happened to me! It wasn't just marriage though...I gained from the time we were engaged. I was 150 when we met and within 2 years I was 195! I was actually around 160ish when we got married and the rest was a result of the first year or 18 months of marriage. I think part of it was that he eats bigger portions than me and more fast food. Plus whenever we go out it was for food...an ice cream cone here...a big Mac there adds up quickly.

You are NOT alone! My hubby gained about 50 pounds too. It seemed so much easier to put it on than it is to take it off!

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Old 12-09-2005, 12:20 AM   #5  
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Yes, it happened to me too! From the time of my engagement (2 years ago) until now I gained about 20 pounds. Yuck! I think it was a combination of eating out more than before and, then, when we moved in together, a LOT of convenience foods. Pizza, burgers, Hamburger Helper, whatever was easy to cook. Also, my husband was coming from a 'Bachelor Diet' of raman noodles and tacos, and was a bit resistant to change at first. Also, the fact that we were more comfortable around each other led us to worry less about what it would look like if we ate too much.

On a newlywed website I used to visit, I heard people refer to this as the 'Newlywed 9', kind of like the 'Freshman 15'. Except it was more than 9 for me! After a while I decided that enough was enough, and I wanted to get back into good habits before it got worse.
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Old 12-09-2005, 02:11 AM   #6  
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Here too. After I met him I went from 180 to 220 by wedding time. After we got married I got up to around 235-240 and hovered there. After we met I put basically ALL my time into him and quit exercising (I had just LOST 40 pounds before I met him) and started eating a lot more (not sure why). So don't worry you're not alone!
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Old 12-09-2005, 09:06 AM   #7  
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Yes I also gained 20 lbs after the wedding between a combination of poor eating and not taking the time to work out because of school. I am in the process of taking it off now. My DH also gained a bit (not as much) and is taking the weight off as well.

From the last time I lost about 15 of the 20 lb I noticed that as I got closer to my goal weight I again became more comfortable with myself. I wouldn't say the weight ruined our relationship. In fact he never even commented on it. But it bothered me and I felt like it wasn't "in the way" after I lost some of it.
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Old 12-09-2005, 09:55 AM   #8  
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After meeting my fiance, I gained a lot of weight, but I don't think it had anything to do with him since I had been gaining before I met him too. I started losing when we moved in together actually, but we had already been dating for four years before we moved in together. I don't anticipate gaining when we get married because I am going to try to be a lifetime maintainer!

I think the main reason people say that newlyweds gain weight is that there is this theory that once you "got" your man, you aren't concerned with looking good anymore. I don't know if I buy that one. Some women gain weight planning a wedding b/c it is so stressful, and there is of course the honeymoon where you eat out a lot. I dunno. I think I ate the most with my BF when we were in college together, and also after he graduated I would visit him on the weekends, and him living in his bachelor pad, all he had to eat was rice and oatmeal, so we went out every meal!

Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is that it is not uncommon for newlyweds to gain weight.
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Old 12-09-2005, 10:57 AM   #9  
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I was 195 when HB and I started dating. 12 pounds and 9 months later...

I am really going to lose at least 20 by our wedding -- well, before then so I can go buy a dress!

People get comfortable in relationships. That's what I attribute it to. But no more! I mean, I love HB but I won't use it as an excuse to be unhealthy!
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Old 12-09-2005, 10:59 AM   #10  
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After being w/ my (serious) BF for a month I proceeded to gain about 10 lbs. in the next 2 months. I had lost a lot of weight and went on maintenance 3 1/2 months before meeting him, and stayed in my maintenace range during that time. The gain was a combo of things - vacation, red tide making it hard to work out outside (I live on an island and when red tide is in the water, even walking outside the house was enough to make me start coughing - there's no way I could run in that). But the combo of eating out more, drinking more, not making every meal for myself and knowing exactly what went into it, and feeling "comfortable" enough to splurge a bit definitely contributed A LOT to the gain. As you can see from my ticker I'm still working it off (2 months and counting to get 10 lbs off!) and trying to get back to maintenance.

I have several friends who have been in serious relationships for several years and gained a few pounds, though they are still slender. But after I started dating my BF at one point I made a comment about exercising or eating or something, and one of my friends said "oh you're in a relationship now, get fat like the rest of us." So weight gain in a relationship is definitely a well-"documented" phenomenon!
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Old 12-09-2005, 03:36 PM   #11  
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Yep, I'm right there with you too...I put on about 80 lbs!! I once heard one guy tell another not to get married because women were allergic to engagement/wedding rings...they always swell up! Kinda funny but kinda not...LOL. My hubby has gained too...I really don't know why this happens!!
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Old 12-09-2005, 06:16 PM   #12  
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I'm not married, but I have been living with my fiance for about 4 years now. I have put on a lot of weight. Some of it to do with the way I deal with my issues and the other part because I just enjoy cooking and eating. That and the fact that I'm comfortable around him. It's nice to know that he still finds me attractive even if I have gained
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Old 12-09-2005, 07:13 PM   #13  
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I got married just over a year ago and I gained 15lbs within 6 mo of my wedding. I started taking it off to get back to my Pre-meeting my hubby weight and I am about that now. I have 20(ish) more pounds to go to get to where I was before my thyroid took a dump. So it does happen, just realizing it now is good, not that your 3 yrs down the road and 60 pounds heavier to have to work to take that off....good luck to you.
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Old 12-09-2005, 08:32 PM   #14  
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I gained thirty pounds right after meeting him, but that might be due to BCP.

I gained twenty pounds after engagement! Between when I ordered my wedding dress and when it came it! It almost couldn't be altered.

After marriage, I gained another ten.

Now since July 2003 I've slowly lost.

Factors in weight gain related to the relationship: He eats more than me, we ate out at restaurants more.

But there were lots of factors unrelated to the relationship.

You can lose the weight! Look at your new marriage as an opportunity to commit to a life-long change in lifestyle.
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Old 12-09-2005, 08:59 PM   #15  
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I'm not married yet. But since I first met my fiance till now (we've been engaged one month) I've gained about 25 lbs! No clue why (lying my butt off here...). I'm trying to lose all my extra weight (or most of it) by our wedding date (oct. 06) and I pray I won't gain once we are married (except when pregnant). But hopefully by then I'll be at goal and have much better habits to live by.
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