Weight Loss Support - I'm about ready to give up!!!




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sallylf82
12-07-2005, 09:58 PM
I am so frustrated i could just cry. I have tried to lose weight probably ever since I was in high school and I did lose 20 lbs, but have gained all of that weight back plus some. I just get so upset with myself whenever I eat something that I know isn't good for me and that just sends me into a downward spiral. I'll spend the next couple of days depressed and just shoving my face with whatever is in front of me. My weight is bouncing up and down all the time. I just want to lose the weight and keep it off.
I try to talk to my fiance about my concerns about my weight, but he just tells me I'm beautiful just the way I am, and that I don't need to change a thing about myself.....argh, it's sweet but not true!!! In fact I think when he tells me things like that it just makes me more upset even though I know he's just trying to be nice. I just get so depressed and am so sick of how I look, I have stopped dressing up and wearing makeup because at this point my mindset is why try, the only thing people are going to see is my weight.
I desperately want to begin losing weight again, and to keep it off. I want my fiance to go "WOW" when we get married. Any advice on how any of you deal with those days when all you want to do is eat away all your problems? How did you keep losing weight without getting so frustrated?


LLV
12-07-2005, 10:00 PM
How did you keep losing weight without getting so frustrated?
Counting calories :)

penpal
12-07-2005, 11:23 PM
I agree with LLV! The ONLY way I've been able to lose weight and keep it off so far is by counting calories. The key for me was to not go too low in calories as I could never stay on drastic low cal diets for very long. Slow but sure is the better way for your body to get used to the new way of eating. It's ok to set small goals, say 5 lbs. at a time, but if I set a goal to lose a large amount of weight by a certain date and I don't achieve it, I get very down and start thinking I'll never get there. For instance, a couple of months ago I set a Christmas goal that was a bit too optimistic and I doubt that I'll be at my goal weight by then. Taking baby-steps is the best way, imo.

I lose fairly steadily on 1500 - 1600 a day, but everyone is different.

There are different ways of counting calories - you can buy a calorie counting book or use a free online food diary like Fitday or Nutridiary. By keeping track of everything I eat, I can have just about anything I like, so long as the portions fit into my daily allowance. Of course, I don't choose to "use up" all my calories on chocolate and chips, I try to eat as healthily as possible from all food groups, just avoiding "empty" carbs.

Good luck :goodluck: in your weight loss efforts - you CAN do it!


Valerie Joy
12-08-2005, 12:13 AM
I agree with the counting calories. I've been loosing since I started using fitday. I try and stay between 1200 and 1600 a day.

Heather
12-08-2005, 12:17 AM
sally -- I agree with the ladies above. But I would also say that beating yourself up after you splurge is probably counter productive (especially as you describe the fallout!)

You overate. It's done. Move on and try to learn how to avoid the problem the next time.

NowOrNever!
12-08-2005, 12:36 AM
I agree with all above. You might check out the new (2005) book called "Calorie queens" or Jillian Michaels' book--both advocate a brand of calorie counting. Jillian has you calculate your active metabolism and then you decide how many calories to eat based on how much weight you want to eat. Calorie Queens works it a bit from the other end--you calculate how many calories you will need at your desired weight and start eating THAT now and the difference between that and your current weight/calorie usage results in weight loss.

I know my stats that show here don't reflect much weight loss, but I actually started at 270 last year and have been going very slow. Calorie counting lets you manage a treat when you want one and add exercise to the mix can mean that you get to eat more (and not the WW way which I found extremely frustrating--and LIMITING for endurance-type exercise). So...if the lure of a Starbucks dark-chocolate dipped graham cracker cookie is luring me as a treat for dessert after dinner, then I know that I'll be doing 140 extra calories worth of time in the gym :-) And...on days when I just don't have any motivation--well, I eat all the calories it takes to maintain the weight I'm at at that point...and just try not to go over that.

marbear
12-08-2005, 12:55 AM
When you count calories, be sure to fill up on protein, fruits, veg, low fat dairy, and really watch on the starches and sugary foods. They spike insulin, which I think helps you hold onto weight (plus they don't keep you full as long as protein).
Mary

kykaree
12-08-2005, 03:39 AM
As well as calorie counting, I have found exercise really helpful. First it gives you something to do which isn't eating! It promotes the excretion of happy hormones, so you get a natural high, without resorting to chocolate which like marbear says about all sugary foods, brings you crashing down again. And when you exercise regularly, your body begins to crave healthy foods so it's harder to stray off plan.

modemama
12-08-2005, 04:52 AM
I get frustraited and quit easily too. This time I started counting calories and it has been a blessing. If I eat a candy bar I no longer think 'oh no, there goes my diet' I look at the back of the wrapper and see how many calories there are and subtract it from my daily allotment. If it makes me got a few hundred calories over goal, I hope on my gazelle, turn on some music and burn away those calories. I then can go to bed confident that I didn't screw up because I ate something that wasn't healthy.

There are a lot of thin people out there that eat unhealthy foods once in a while. Those of us with weight problems just need to learn moderation. *hugs* you can do this!

Tani
12-08-2005, 10:58 AM
The best thing that I've found is to chuck the whole diet mentality. This is what causes you to think that you've "blown it" and then overeat because it doesn't matter, you've already screwed up.

Just concentrate on making better choices over all, more of the time. To start with, many people find it useful to write down or otherwise track everything they eat. Also, like others have said, get out walk around the block, go dancing or just move your body on a regular basis. This will not only burn calories, but it will help with your mood and motivation level. :)

LLV
12-08-2005, 11:16 AM
The best thing that I've found is to chuck the whole diet mentality. This is what causes you to think that you've "blown it" and then overeat because it doesn't matter, you've already screwed up.

Just concentrate on making better choices over all, more of the time. To start with, many people find it useful to write down or otherwise track everything they eat. Also, like others have said, get out walk around the block, go dancing or just move your body on a regular basis. This will not only burn calories, but it will help with your mood and motivation level. :)
I'll second this :)

I don't consider myself to be on a diet and I never will. "Diet" is a 4-letter word :nono:

Like many others here, I'm in this for the long haul. I'll have to eat this way for the rest of my life. Do I still eat my favorite 'sinful' foods? Sure I do. Just in extreme moderation. I make them rare treats rather than everyday foods like I used to do. This is a lifelong thing and no way am I going the rest of my life without ever eating Taco Bell again, lol!

sallylf82
12-08-2005, 11:11 PM
thank you all for your help. Sounds like everyone agrees that counting calories is the way to go, so I am starting a food journal today of everything i eat. I am 180 pounds today and hope to acheive a weight of 120. I guess I just have to realize that i'm not going to see much progress right away and it's something i'm going to have to work on. Thanks again and i'll post my progress...wish me good luck!

penpal
12-09-2005, 01:00 PM
You WILL succeed if you keep track of your calories and think of weight loss as a long-term goal and permanent lifestyle change - not just a temporary means of losing some weight. Good luck Sally :goodluck:

MistySeptember
12-09-2005, 03:16 PM
Hi there! Your post could have been written by me! You have gotten some fabulous encouragment. I have been in your shoes after eating that "forbidden" thing. But like everyone said it's not forbidden just work it in. You need to focus on a lifestyle not a diet.

I agree with the calorie counting (for me it's points b/c I am a WW). I like that number. I like knowing where my limit is b/c I am not in tune with my body enough to know where my limit is right now. I like WW b/c nothing is off limits. Sure eat that snickers, but COUNT it! I've learned that I can fuel my body with better choices and get more bang for my "buck" if I choose better stuff, but if I really want something gooey and chocolatey it's ok. Plus, if I do go over my points tomarrow is a new day and I get a fresh start everyday and every week. But really it's not much different than calorie counting on many levels and if calorie counting works for you fabulous! I did it and used fit day and found it to work just great:)

Also, just recently to keep myself on track I taped little inspirational messages on my kitchen cupboards and fridge. One is an acronym for "Nothing tates as good as thin feels" N.T.A.G.A.T.F., and "If you think, you can" from a cute poem. I have to look at them everythime I reach for a snack and often it changes my mind. I am a visual person. I have a chart for my weightloss and with WW you get rewards like star stickers for each five pounds. When I wasn't doing meetings I bought those little foil star stickers and stuck them on my chart. It may be hokey, but it keeps things fun and fresh.

To keep things fresh and fun and to keep my interested, b/c lets face it this is a long haul and it can get dull, I challenge myself. Right now I have a piggy bank going for new clothes as you can see by my sig. You could do one and call it your honey moon fund or something. Also, I am challengeing mysle fto do 44 workouts in a set amount of time.

Most recently I have been journaling not just my food, which fo rme is a must to stay on track, but my emotions. I watched Oprah's woman who have let themselves go (ie the no makeup thing) and have been inspired to take care of me. I get up a bit earlier now just to enjoy a quiet breakfast and time to journal and meditate on my up coming day. In my journaling I try to think of my good things physically and otehrwise. I also think about what I don't like and focus on how I can change that. It's ok to say in a non judgmental way I'd like to have shaplier arms, and then wor towards it. That's very different from mentally abusing yourself with an assult of your so fat comments.

Also, it's ok to accept your fiance's compliments. I have a hard time with this also. But it is also ok to tell him that losing weight is important to you and for your long term health you would so gretaly appreciate his support. Ask him to walk with you, shop for healthy food with you and live a healthier life with you so that as you approach your marriage you go into it healthier and more connected. Focus onhealth not wieght.

I am also trying to listen to my body and before i take a bite of food decide if I am eating b/c I need to fuel my body or eating for another reason. When my kids aren't screaming all around my I also try to listen to my body as I eat so I know when I am full.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. If you need anything please feel free to PM me:) I see you are from Utica! That's not horribley far from me. I grew up in Ny and lived in Rochester for a while.