Weight Loss Support - Help me I need support I feel like dying




Pinkpolkadot0923
11-16-2005, 05:13 PM
Hi my name is amy
I am 14 going to be 15 next week but i need help!!!!
you may think oo shes just another teenager unhappy with herself but thats true but not. i am 15 and 180 something pounds i am depreesssed and sick with myself i need help. i need support. i wanna lose 50 lbs or more. i am soo unhealthy and i am killing myself inside. i have a journal where i write bad things about my self and how much i cant stand me and how ugly i think i am and im literally killing myself. i dont have an eating disorder never have and never will but i cant stand it it sickens me when i see myself in the mirror i cant be happy i cant even buy the jeans like everyone else beacuse dont dont fit me and i cant take it and i need a buddy to talk to and be kind and supportive. i cant talk to my best friend shes 105 lbs and wouldnt understand, if anyone can suggest a diet or help me in sugesting excersices i would be in love. all i want is to be a normal teenager and be happy but i cant right now. all i want is someone to hug me and tell me im beautiful everyday.

i wanna be a fashion desinger and go to school in europe but a fat girl has no chance you need to be in shape and atracctive. i have a very pretty face and brownish red long hair its just my body is so disgusting.


rdhdgrl1
11-16-2005, 05:48 PM
Amy-
I read your post and my heart goes out to you. I'm 27 now but I was also heavier when I was a teenager as were many of the ladies here. We all know how it feels. Please don't despair. There are lots of people here to support you. Believe me it is hard for most everyone here. You are not alone. Do you have any family support? My best friend now who was also my best friend at your age is also very thin. Your best friend may not understand but maybe she could at least listen and support you. Please don't write or say bad things about yourself, you don't deserve that. Make a list of all your good qualities and start saying nice things to yourself. If your anything like I was when I was a teenager you probably watch T.V. and listen to music etc. Please don't compare yourself to those people. It's not real life. I think there is a forum here where teens post with each other too. But you are welcome anywhere here. You might want to try weight watchers if you are looking for a program. A lot of people really like it. Also walking is great for you physically and mentally. Please be kind to yourself. You are not ugly or a bad person if you are overweight. You can still be a fashion designer if your overweight also. Who says you have to design for a skinny-minny? There are lots of average and overweight people who need fashionable clothing.
Please don't give up. We are all works in progress. Keep posting we will help you any way we can.

haleys
11-16-2005, 06:02 PM
I completely agree with rdhdgrl1.

I was overweight when I was your age as well and had the same kinds of thoughts/feelings as you have now. I also kept a journal where I said a lot of awful things about myself, so I know where you are coming from.

If you have the money to do it, you may want to go with weight watchers, you can eat whatever you want and it's nice to have a way to stay accountable (the weekly weigh ins). If you don't, I'd suggest to start counting calories and incorporate exercise into your daily routine. I currently eat about 1200 calories a day and try to do a 45min to an hour of cardio, 5 times a week (I usually do it on the elliptical, but you could even just start taking walks). If you start watching your food and incorporate exercise in, you will start losing. You don't have to feel like this, being overweight does not mean being unhappy. It also may be wise to see if you can talk with a therapist to talk about some of the issues that you have with your body. I have found it very helpful to have someone to talk to about what you're going through. You're not alone in this. There are so many people that can help you with everything you have going on. If you need anything, just ask, and I'll try to help you as best I can.


sunshinegirl
11-16-2005, 06:07 PM
Let me be the first (well actually the 4th by now) to give you a big :hug: and tell you that you are spectacular. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I remember what it is like being in high school and being overweight. I felt the exact same way as you do and even now have to fight those feelings. People are always telling you to be positive, it's only what's inside that counts, but those people really have no idea how painful it is. I wish more people could understand what it's like to be overweight as a young woman. Fat takes all the fun out of dating, shopping for clothes, just trying to fit in.

But let me tell you it does get better. College was a relief from high school. People are more open minded and you get to break out of your shell. But while you're still in high school it might help you to channel your energy into things that you're good at. Get involved in social service clubs, or volunteering. Helping other people will help you will feel good about yourself

As for dieting I really recommend Weight Watchers. They have a great healthy organized eating plan, and an awesome support group where you can vent about what's on your mind. Also if there is none in your area, there is an online program at reduced cost.

Sweetie I also beg you to talk to someone about the dark thoughts your having. If you can't talk to your parents or friends, try telling a teacher you trust. Don't be embarrassed about asking for help, we all need support at some time. You don't have to deal with this on your own.

jillybean720
11-16-2005, 06:16 PM
I'm 23 now, but when I was 15, I weighed over 200 pounds. I know how hard it can be, but you've got to realize that your body isn't the center of the universe. It seems like it's so important right now, but I promise it isn't as big a deal as you think. At least you're trying to do something to improve yourself now instead of waiting until you're completely out of control--coming here was an awesome first step. As others have said, just try to incorporate some sort of exercise into your daily life. You don't have to kill yourself in the gym for hours on end--just go out walking, do a workout video at home, join a community sport...anything to get yourself moving a bit. You also don't have to starve yourself. I know it's hard because at this point, you probably have no control over most of your food (parents cooking meals, school lunch, quick breakfasts, etc.), but maybe when you eat out, order veggies instead of fries, grab fruit for snacks instead of junk food, andm aybe even carry around something easy in your backpack or purse (like a protein bar, apple, even a peanut butter sandwich on whole-grain bread) for those times when you have no healthy choices around.

BTW, I have seen some pretty hideous-looking designers--that's why they are the designers and not the models ;) I'm sure you'll do fabulously in the fashion industry no matter what size you are!

modemama
11-16-2005, 06:27 PM
I've been there. :hug: I went on my first diet at age 13 I joined weight watchers and managed to go from 170 to 145. If you can join weight watchers, I think an organized plan could help.

Try not to let your weight get you down. You should be enjoying your teenaged years, don't kill yourself with worry about your weight. I hid inside myself in high school (180lbs) and never dated and have always regreted that. Girls heavier then me dated all the time. The difference was how we saw ourselves. Those heavier popular girls saw their personal strengths, and didn't focus on their physical flaws. College was so much better because I finally loved me for me, no matter what my weight (185-205lbs).

Remember that you are wonderful just the way you are, and be yourself so that others see that too. :hug:

kaplods
11-16-2005, 06:53 PM
When I was 15, I weighed 155 lbs, but when I was 13, I weighted 225 lbs, and when I was 18, I weighed 250 lbs, and now I am 368 lbs, and trying to lose weight desperately because of health problems.

At every size, I was a wonderful, intelligent person, and so are you, exactly as you are. I'm not trying you to discourage you from losing weight, but right now that isn't your biggest concern, your self-esteem is. Eat healthier, because a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent young woman diserves the very best for her attractive body.

Sometimes when we don't quite fit society's current standard, we find we have fewer friends and dates than the popular people, but you don't need quantity, you need quality.


In some centuries, it would be your friend who would be pining for the perfect body like yours. Don't let what is popular now convince you that you aren't absolutely
amazing! When you have pride in how fabulous you are, others will see it.

Spend some time checking out plus-size models (most are about your weight), checking out classic paintings like thouse by Rubens, and reading some size acceptance books like Emme's autobiography (the first plus-size super model).

You don't have to be satisfied with your weight, to love yourself. You don't have to hate yourself or your body for not living up to your dreams for yourself.

By society's standards, I am supposed to hate myself, and my body. But, you know what? I don't, and never did. Sure, some people treated me like crap, and most people ignored me, but a few people have been my great friends and teachers. My husband is a big guy too (though I've dated thin guys who thought I was pretty amazing too) and we are trying to get healthy, but except for health problems our lives are pretty amazing. If other people don't realize that we're smart, funny, capable, and damn sexy, that's their problem.

Not to lecture, but choose the path you want your life to take, and go for it. And love yourself every minute of it. Easier said than done? Of course, but I know you can do it. And here is a perfect place to start, with alot of friends of all ages/sizes on the same journey.

Colleen

Pinkpolkadot0923
11-16-2005, 07:02 PM
wow my eyes are watering seeing how all of these strangers care there are great pepole in the world. i try to excersice but i have a busy scheduale and im not going to give up on my dreams cause of my image i just wanna be happy im stuck in this teenage depression. yeah i want to boyfriend but i feel like no one would wanna be with me cause im too ugly and there guy friends would laugh and thats why im soo down to on my self. i live in florida and hate the beach vccause of the way i look in a swim suit and i just hate the sand. im taking classes online so i can graduate earlier and be done with the B.S. of high school and work for a year then i want to go to paris and italy fashion schools with my best friend ( the thin one ) shes going to pursue modeling she tells me i should do plus size modeling but i woulnt. i dont photograph well and i dont have enough confidence to carry myself. i just want this horror of teenage years to be over. i want to be happy and not be killing myself over this and its hard but i need to make a change more than anything. your right no one can imagaine how hard it is to be me or a teen in my postion. i just wish someone other than my family and friends someone special loved me for me not if i was skinny or sexy just for my personality. i have an awsome sponaneous spunky personality but if i show it i feel werid beacause i feel im ugly and thell just laugh at me. i have such negative feelings i have imagined what life would be like for my family or friends if i just was kidnapped or died. im sick and trajic i know and need help but you ppl are the only ones i feel i can talk to about this.

penpal
11-16-2005, 10:31 PM
Hi Amy,

First of all, you must learn to accept yourself for the wonderful, unique person that you are! It does not matter what size you are - you need to be happy in your skin. Don't forget, there are many, many, very thin people who are NOT happy at all! Being thin is not a passport to happiness.

The best reason for losing weight is for your health - now and in the future. If you can learn to eat a healthy diet now and do a little exercise (start with just 10 mins. at a time and build up) it will pay off when you are older as you will have less health problems caused by a lifetime of bad food choices.

Exercise is a good way to feel better as it gives you a natural "high". Everyone can fit in a little exercise if they really want to. You have to make a commitment to yourself to do this for YOU and YOU alone, not to please anyone else.

You can do this if you set your mind to it. I highly recommend keeping a list of everything you eat - don't change anything just yet, just list everything so you are aware of what you are eating. (This will be a lot more fun than keeping a journal criticizing yourself and will help you feel more in control of your food instead of vice versa). We often eat on "autopilot" and don't realize how many calories we are eating. Even cutting out 300 calories a day will result in weight loss. Each pound of fat is made up of 3,500 calories, so you can see how easy it is to gain weight if we are eating just 300 calories too many. You can buy a calorie counter in most grocery stores, or book shops for a few dollars.

Just try baby-steps at first. Don't try to change your whole life in one go, you'll just be disappointed and give up if you can't keep it up. Maybe one week try giving up soda or one other thing that is not a healthy food and then when you are comfortable with that, substitute a piece of fresh fruit for a candy bar, etc.

Believe me, crash diets don't work for the long haul! Make sure to keep your metabolism burning by eating enough calories - at least 1400 - 1500 per day. This way, you won't feel so deprived and starving. In order to keep the weight off you need a lifestyle change not just a quickie diet.

You'll find lots of support and good information here at 3FC.

I'll keep you in my prayers. Hang in there and don't be down on yourself - you CAN do it! :hug:

shrinkingchica
11-16-2005, 10:44 PM
Hey Amy! :wave:
Do you have maybe a parent or an aunt or uncle or a minister, priest or rabbi, or school counselor or teacher that you could talk to about these issues? You must have someone that you can trust with your deep concerns. It will help to talk to them. Not just about the weight and depression, but about life in general. I promise you that it will help you and make you feel better. Find someone that you love and talk to them, let them share the load and they will be glad to help.
Wishing you all the best,
Charlotte

Pinkpolkadot0923
11-17-2005, 02:37 PM
wow im beggining to feel better already. im soo happy for all of the support i cant thank you enough for everyones comments it make me feel better especially colleen you made me realize why my diets dont work or last there all fads thank you. ill keeep everyone update on how im feeling

Tani
11-17-2005, 03:03 PM
Hey Amy,

I'm glad you're starting to feel a little better! Boy, you brought my highschool days back to mind in a rush. I'll never understand why that time is supposed to be the best of your life. It certainly wasn't for me, or anyone I know.

Try to get out there and live your life a little. Start with some faked confidence and you'll be amazed at how it will turn into real confidence. Get out and do the stuff you love and try not to overanalyze how other people are thinking about you. People are mostly worried about themselves and how *they* look and don't have as much energy left over to judge other people as you might expect ;)

On the weightloss front, I'd suggest finding some kind of exercise that you enjoy and doing a little every day. You can find the time if it's important to you. I'm amazed how much it helps with my mood, not just burning calories.

andreaphilip3
11-17-2005, 03:07 PM
amy have you asked your parents abot joining a ww youth group?

TBJ333
11-17-2005, 06:37 PM
Imagine another person that you care about very much. You want that person to be as happy as possible. Maybe the person you are imagining is a child, or your best friend.

Now imagine that you are completely in charge of that other person. Whatever you decide is best, that is what that person will do. Study hard to do well in school, make good friends and avoid bad ones, have fun doing positive things.

What would you feed that person? Nothing but candybars and soda? Or lots of vegetables and home-cooked meals? Remember, this person's life depends on you, and you get to decide what they eat... Would you feed them pizza every day, or maybe just once a month? A two-liter bottle of soda all the time, or maybe just a little soda at the movies? You would make sure that this person ate a lot of healthy food, and only a little bad food, right?

Now think of yourself as that person. You want yourself to be as healthy as possible, right? And you're in control over what you do, right? So now make good decisions, as best you can.

MorticiaAddams
11-18-2005, 02:56 AM
Make sure you are talking over how you feel with your family.
I have a sister who seems to think we dont care but in all actually I would give her the world if I could.
This is completly understandable and nothing is wrong with those feelings but they can be overcome.
You are trying to reach out for change and thats a great start.Changing your lifestyle can not happen overnight. But with many small changes it can happen. First you have to understand that a change in your eating habits is not only a very good thing but it will help in in so many ways. More energy better skin and a new attitude about yourself when you feel the changes eating better can do for you.
And then comes exersise, this is the change you must make if you want to lose some weight.
When you start to love who you are and the things about yourself that make you the incredible you that you are you will want to learn to eat better and get out and move more.
You must learn about the foods you are eating. You need to understand what the contents and the portion sizes mean on the labels.
You have the internet at your hands and Im sure you have a local library.
As you start to make changes like drinking plenty of water and no sodas or juices and start to go for walks either in the neighborhood or local mall.
These changes will push you forward to bigger changes.
Another good thing to adapt to is writing in a notebook or a journal on what your eating so you can see how much and what time your eating.
Depending on how much sweets,soda or just bad snacks or food you typically eat your body might go thru some withdrawls or a headache but this is something you want to dicuss with your parents and maybe a doctor so you can share any plan you come up with to change your lifestyle.
Diets do not work and dont last. You must make heathy choices for your body and know what your limits should be.
Again bring in your family , your mom or a dad or a aunt so they know you are serious about making changes in your life to help you be all that you want to be. Dont sit on those hurt feelings. We can all tell you that they all lead to a bag of chips or cookies or some ice cream or something that just is all wrong for you. And thats where they end up some where on you.
Get positive about yourself love yourself and see that you are a a great person who deserves the world and everyone else will to.
Keep your head up there kid , I cant tell you how many times I drowened my sorrows with myself in a pizza and a pop. ;)
P.S Let us know how your doing because we do care that you are alright!!!!
Cindy

Pinkpolkadot0923
11-18-2005, 05:08 PM
yeah well like the person asaid about high school its not getting made fun of i dont im a cool like that but its just everyone is hooking up and i dont have a chance cause im not in shape but even my skinny bestfriend is going through **** she just found out her moms a crack addict. her dad is always drunk and ashe refusing to go home. she has s much pressue and everyone has a bad time in high school. to day i had a salad for lunnh and mango i was goingt o eat last night for breakfast i worked out in gym so i feel ok today!

PrcStar17
11-18-2005, 11:43 PM
Amy guess what... I think you're my long lost twin! Haha... I know EXACTLY how you feel. I dropped out of High School too so I could take courses online because I would lash out at school when people "looked at me funny" and that's just not me! I'm such a caring person but I've never had the chance to show it because I've been consumed by all this fat. I was once 140lbs... but somehow I shot up from that to 205lbs. I felt pretty horrible too. Just know you aren't alone.

Also, I want to tell you something... a guy will love you one day. I can promise you that. I got a boyfriend at 15 (Right before my 16th birthday and Valentines day) I had just been on a radical diet though and had lost around 10-15lbs so I looked good and was really confident. Well, by the time our relationship really blossomed, so did I! I got up to 205lbs. in the 2 years I've dated my now fiance. I would literally yell at him and take fits because I thought he didn't like me anymore because I was getting too fat. But, he loved me just as much as he did before. (He says he loves me even more.)

I had to share that story because I know it's hard going through highschool with all the "Skinny girls" who aren't very pretty but they all seem to have boyfriends and you sit there thinking, "Wow, I could be a MUCH better girlfriend than that... but I'm too fat." Trust me though, even if it's years from now that you "finally" get a boyfriend... it'll be worth it to wait for one who really loves you for you, no matter your size.

And I have a best friend who is also about 105lbs and SUPER skinny. But you know what's amazing? She understands what I'm going through! Haha... she understands it better than anyone really. She is my best friend for a reason, I can talk to her about anything. But remember, skinny girls have problems too... my friend actually wants to gain weight but she can't. She's been to doctors and everything, just to gain a few pounds.

I just wanted to share those things because I want you to know you aren't alone. Tell me if you ever need to talk! Hope I helped a little!

poohshunny
11-19-2005, 11:19 AM
{{{{{Amy}}}}} - lotsa cyber hugs coming your way! It sounds like you are ready to make some positive changes in your life, it is not always an easy journey to lose weight but it sure makes ya feel better, both physically and emotionally. Take it one small step at a time and hang in there even when you have little setbacks. :carrot:

I agree that WW is a great program, it has been v. successful for me and many others. You learn healthy eating lifestyle habits and the importance of eating a well-balanced diet, as well as exercise. If you can join a local WW group, you will feel so welcomed. Our group occassionally will have a young person join and us oldsters welcome and support them, just as we do everyone. In fact, we relish in their successes even more than our own!

My youngest dd has battled weight problems for the past few years, and really gained a lot of weight in her first 2 years of college. This summer, she decided to do something about her weight and has had tremendous success. As a parent, I love her regardless but I am so proud of how well she has done and the better health she now enjoys. She has done it in a healthy way also which makes me feel even better about it (exercise - walking, karate, and watching what she eats). btw, my dd's name is Amy also!

I encourage you to discuss your desire to lose weight with your parents, I bet you'll find a lot of support right there. It will help if they are aware of your desires and can help in planning and preparing nutritious, lowfat meals. I have fun looking at recipes online from this site and other WW sites, trying my hand at making new dishes that are nutritious for my family.

You've got a lot of years ahead of you and losing the unwanted pounds now is the time to do it. Losing 40 lbs. now is much easier than 80 lbs., 120 lbs., etc. later on. Trust me, I've btdt!

fitgal2
11-20-2005, 11:33 PM
Amy! My heart goes out to you!

First of all I was in the same positon when I was your age, I am now 25 and lighter!! Let me tell you that your goals are totally attainable, but it will take work ( but you knew that!!!). My first bit of advice, stop being so hard on yourself, you love yourself enough to ask for help and support here (yay!), now you have demand that love and support from yourself! It just makes this whole process easier when you do! Next, talk to your parents, tell them that you want to lose the weight for the right reasons (health) and maybe even "challenge" them to improve their health. If they are not willing and you find the food they buy tempting, ask them if you can clear out a shelf just for you and then go shopping with them and stock that shelf with "helthy food". I would also recomend going to the library and getting out a couple of books on weight training (NO YOU WILL NOT GET "BIG"), I was a personal trainer there for a year or so (until I got sick and had to put that on hold), so I know first had how great this activity is for your muscles, bones, self esteem...the list goes on!!!! I would also suggest that you get a low-fat cook book and offer to cook for your family...what a treat for you parents, AND you know exactly whats going in your body.
Let me get a little sappy here... I have had cancer twice, so I don't EVER let anyone get away with commenting on my eating habits. If I WANT to eat and be healthy that is my business...and really with the way our society is going, everyone should be doing exactly when us ladies are doing on this site!!!! DO NOT waiver from what YOU want to do to make yourself HEALTHY!!!! I commend you for going out side the box at your age!!!! If you have any questions on exercise I am sure many of us on here can "show" you the ropes!

All the best and keep us posted on your success!!!

Softykins
11-23-2005, 12:27 AM
I just want to give you hugs Amy :hug:
There is so much time in your life to find a boyfriend.
Don't rush it. It took my best friend a loooong time
to finally be asked out and she is really thin.

Take this time to enjoy your girlfriends and live life.
Make new friends - smile!
Boys are immature at this age anyways. hehe ;)

jillybean720
11-23-2005, 06:46 AM
I went through all of high school without a real boyfriend (and all of college) because of how I felt about myself. It's not that guys didn't pay attention to me--it's that when they did, I couldn't understand why since I was fat...how coul they possibly like me? So I missed a lot of opportunities simply because of my own mindset. Shortly after college, I met my current boyfriend. When I met him, I think I weighed about 270, and he has seen me at my highest of 310. Now that I'm back down to 270 and we have been together for over a year and a half, he has never once commented on my weight or size (except when I get self-conscious about it, he assures me that it doesn't matter to him at all). Point is, I missed out on plenty when I was younger because I was so worked up about never having a boyfriend, but now that I've got one, I realize that there's so much more to life (I love him VERY much, but my world certainly does not revolve around him). Don't focus on it! You've got plenty of other things to enjoy in life, and you've got PLENTY of time to find a great guy. Just think, the longer you wait, the more you'll know exactly what you want, so you'll know it when you see him ;)

shananigans
11-23-2005, 03:53 PM
Amy-- Iím so glad youíve come here to get support. Everyone has had some great suggestions, and itís wonderful that you are trying to make healthy changes now. I have always been heavy and all though school it made me self conscious and did a number on my self esteem. I wish Iíd known how to love myself back then, but thankfully now Iím just happy with me for who I am. It was hard and I made a lot of mistakes and let people take advantage of me because of my low self esteem, so please talk to someone and work on feeling better about yourself so you can form healthy relationships with people for life. Donít be afraid to ask for help. I know itís kind of scary, but I think youíll be surprised how supportive a lot of people will be if you just open up to them a little.

Take care of yourself and love you for being you! :hug:

Peppahmint
11-25-2005, 01:33 PM
Amy, I am a testiment to the fact that you CAN DO IT! :) I was 184 and already have lost 30 pounds.. I am 19 years old, so not too far off from you.. I can tell you have an awesome personality and can be determined, there is no way that you won't be able to achieve all that you want in life, and I am telling you that you can.. and be a fabulous fashion designer too. :)

I agree with what Jillybean was saying.. even if guys fall all over you, you'll feel like they shouldn't be because you believe yourself to be ugly (which seriously I doubt.. especially hearing the way you talk) and girl, when you get that self confidence up they WILL be falling all over you. :)

Everyone's right, once you're out of high school it is SO much better.. and guaranteed you will see how much you will change in the next few years.. in fact I bet it is already happening..

Message me anytime for anything, ok? I would love to hear from you.

-M

JR'sGirl
11-27-2005, 02:55 PM
I know how you feel, but my problem was that right after my freshman year of high school I suddenly gained like three sizes over summer. I have been battling that gain ever since (im 22). I am getting closer to what I used to be, but it has been a major struggle. I have tried every bad diet out there, and trust me none of them work. Right now I am trying to excercise 30min everyday, and I usually do more, but I tell myself that I should do at least 30min, which is usually walking. But it dosen't matter because any excercise is better than no excercise. I have also found that being in school helps me, because if I am home too much I eat way more because there is nothing else to do, and its there. I guess my biggest trick is just to stay busy so that I wont focus on food so much. You can do this! It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

Pinkpolkadot0923
11-30-2005, 05:32 PM
oooooooooooo i love you all yes peppahmint i know i have a crazy personality im very spunky and outgoing and i speak my mind but when im in school i hate half the day im not jelous of other pepoles bodies i just wish i was thinner and it was easier to shop and someone special loved me , i dont want what they have ( all the other girls ) beacuse there love isnt true beacuse there constantly breaking up but today i turned ove a new leaf ( had tow ait until after all the thankgiving treats were gone and my birthday cake) and i lifted weights in gym class and did the stairmaster for 15 minutes and burned 110 calories. as it is getting colder ( yes even in florida) i will be doing aerobic i think instead of walking outside. i have to admit its hard for me to live in florida beacause i dont like the beach cause i dont like the way i look in a swimsuit ( dosent everybody) and i dont like the heat and it doent ever change. i think the beach issue is one reason why im so determined to leave florida and i work so hard in school to graduate early. i feel constantly i need to breakwaway and ill be happy ill have a life of my own and wont deal with the stupid **** of high school. i dont look at other girls and think i could be a better girlfriend i look at them both and think wow that realtionship is pointless. i dont wanna get cauaght up inthis high school realtionship game cause girls always want what they cant have and there will be cheating and lies and all i want is a true guy someone to hug and cuddle with me on days like today (cold days) and keep me warm instead of the way i was hsivering a boy to stickup for me and yeah but ive said enough today l8ers

Pinkpolkadot0923
11-30-2005, 06:22 PM
its also upsetting cause i did join the school swim team and was getting in shape but also failing math and science and i had to quit i wasnt good at it anyway but i really like kickboxing it gives me a feeling a self empowerment its good for self defense in case one day i am too pretty and get into some trouble! lol. nice to dream. but when i quit the swim team all of my muscel turned to fat and i ended up gaining weight and now my pants are too small and that when i said ok i ant live like this anymore time for a change!!! so i do need to contuie to hear from you ppl for support.

fitgal2
11-30-2005, 10:14 PM
Hey!
I love the feeling kick boxing give me as well...I feel STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! keep doing what you are doing, but don't be afraid to go outside your comfort zone...there may be activities that you are amazing at, that you never thought you could do...that happened to me last summer...my friends talked me into beach volley ball (iindoor-no bathing suit required lol) I was not very good at it but I loved it! I had never played before so I sucked at first, but eventually I got a bit better (no pro here) and really enjoyed the workout!
Try new things whenever you get the chance!!!!

Kudos to you for what you have done already!!!keep at it, and we will be here whenever you need us!!!!!

Pinkpolkadot0923
12-01-2005, 07:44 PM
well today i worked out in gym again and walked for an hour and a half but my friend and me got mcdonalds which was teriible !!!!!!!! but i did walk afterward so mabey i burnt some calories i had a chicken sandwich and fries and water so i donno how i did oo well ! i felt bad but waled after ward and crunchs so im not gogin to beat the living crap out of myself over it.

fitgal2
12-01-2005, 10:45 PM
Good girl!

No need to beat yourself up over McD's...besides, you have to allow yourself a little freedom every so often...its making it a habit that causes the problems! Tomorrow is another day, just hop back on the wagon!

princesspuffypants
12-01-2005, 11:11 PM
hey there!

first off!! STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!! that was a hard lesson i had to learn. in 26, i weigh 303, and im finally doing something about it. i was always the fat kid. all my life. ive only had 2 boyfriends in my life. but there is SO much more than that out there. LOVE YOURSELF. you are smart and amazing and beautiful. every day look in the mirror and DON'T focus on the bad. give yourself a compliment every day. dont beat yourself up for going to mc donalds. make healthy choices when you go there. this isnt an overnight thing. it takes hard work and determination. but you are taking steps early in life so you wont have to be here at my age :) this place is awesome. if you ever need hugs, come here. do it every day. when i dont come here, i definately fall off the wagon

keep us posted *hugs*

Pinkpolkadot0923
12-02-2005, 02:37 PM
yep im going to the movie tonight but i wont eat any kandy or anything im just gogin to get an icee and be happy

MorticiaAddams
12-02-2005, 04:38 PM
yep im going to the movie tonight but i wont eat any kandy or anything im just gogin to get an icee and be happy
Try and have a bottle of water and a baggie of good snacks you brought.
Lowfat popcorn , a few pretzels , maybe some almonds, or a small single serving of rasins.
That Icee might have as much sugar as the candy. These are the times we need to learn to adapt to what certain industrys have not in having more healthy options. Hopefully I havent brought your happy mood down I just want to see you succeed and get that Happy you coming out all the time. ;)

tsots
12-03-2005, 01:04 AM
When I read your postings, I know how you're feeling. I know that feeling. I was little heavier than my classmates when I was young. It felt horrible, and you just hate yourself for it. I've had friends who are so skinny and go out and buys themselves a jeans that would not fit me. And I hated shopping and hated going out with my friends. But you're young, and you need to believe in yourself. You can just start to walk 15 minutes or run for 10 minutes a day. And work on your portion, but keep what you like to eat at first. Then you can change it to more healthier diet. I am going through weight loss myself, and today was bad day for me. But overall I am doing great. I've started just walking for 15 minutes a day, today I am running and doing different cardios, because I got so much energy from losing some weight. So, don't give up. You are young, so keep going. Start with small and continue to add more to it. You will get there. If I can do it, you can. :carrot:

Oberon
12-04-2005, 07:06 PM
Hi, I'd just like to add my support. It's awful when you feel ugly and that no-one loves you, but remember - you CAN do something about it, and by making that choice and getting fit and healthy yuo are taking charge of your life, and that's a brave thing to do. I'd like to say that being fit and healthy is a better way to think than just 'thin' - Victoria Beckham's thin and I wouldn't want to look like that!

Well done on taking that step, and please don't be hard on yourself. A Maccy D once is un-doable, as long as it's not every day! My top tip would be to add little bits of excersize as often as you can. Take the stairs not the lift, get off the bus one stop early and walk the extra, I even take stuff upstairs one thing at a time!

Your weight is not your defining feature - you obvioulsy have a great personality, and your goals for the future sound great. As my husband once said to me (and it's true, in a wierd sort of way) - 'You ARE a size 10 darling, jsut wrapped in a load of fat!'. The sizes we all want to be are waiting for us to get there. It is possible, and we can all do it. So enjoy that film, and well done!

Pinkpolkadot0923
12-05-2005, 04:40 PM
acually the movie sucked so we lefta nd got our money back. but yeah i walk everyday now for at least 40 minutes i walked home today andit took me an hour !!!! but have talked to my friend about my weight and this is what she said " iam really proud of you trying to lose weigh you'll live longer and i want u to live as long as u can so we can be bff as long as pos" that just almost mademe cry!!!! she understands i didnt think she would. she offered to excersice with me veryday i couldnt be more happy!

fitgal2
12-08-2005, 07:39 PM
Pinkpolkadot0923

You have one very special friend! Keep that one close!!!!

I am glad things are looking up! Keep up the great work!!!

Smilla
12-27-2005, 12:39 AM
Hey Pinkpolkadot! Have you ever heard of Anna Sui? She's overweight and she's an awesome and very respected and successful designer, she even has her own cosmetic line and perfumes.

Please don't let your weight get in the way of you enjoying yourself and going after what you really love. I was exactly like you when I was your age, and I ended up not doing a lot of things because I didn't have any confidence and/or I thought I'd be laughed at for trying because I was fat. Looking back I realize how silly that was.

jennywrenn
12-29-2005, 11:08 AM
pinkpolkadot,

like so many others here i, too was overweight as a teenager. i was fat and felt ugly and unpopular and my parents were going through a nasty divorce too which didn't help matters. I hated my life and daydreamed of ending it on a daily basis. I always thought that the only reason that i didn't was because i didn't have the nerve and I also knew in my heart that i couldn't hurt my family that way. What I didn't know was that it does get better. Sadly though, it took until i was 30 to really begin to find myself and start to see myself as a cool person. I pray that you don't waste so much time getting there.

THESE THOUGHTS HELP ME:
1. Surround yourself with people who think you're great - ignore the rest.

2. One of my best friends has a saying that i just love.....
........"Its all in the way you walk"
(ie: your attitude about yourself is the first thing that other people base their opinion of you on.) Ifyou don't believe it, think about how and why you judge others as you do...

P.S
!!!!Please be careful who you reach out to online Never try to meet anybody!!!!!!!!!

jillybean720
12-29-2005, 12:39 PM
P.S
!!!!Please be careful who you reach out to online Never try to meet anybody!!!!!!!!!
I've met multiple people online and have never had a horrifying incident. All were who they portrayed themselves to be. I think you can certainly meet people from the internet--just be very careful, and be smart about it (i.e., meet in a public place, maybe bring a friend along, always let people know where you are going and who you'll be with, etc.).

jennywrenn
12-29-2005, 04:59 PM
Jillybean,
Please keep in mind we are talking to a 14 year old child who is voicing a desperate need for affection. She is very needy and may not be capable of being the good judge of character that you or I may be. Perhaps you didn't read her original entry.

Hey by the way how do you like tech writing? That is the field that I am going into. I'm a 42 year old mom re-entering the job mkt and I want to be able to work from my home office. I hope the market is good ( I'm not too far away in the Northern Shenandoah Valley)

Jennywrenn

fit4me
12-29-2005, 05:24 PM
dear sweet soul,
I so remember those days and I am 48. Now I look back and think none of them were worth the time I spent worrying about.
but one thing I do know is .......
Fake it till you make it.
that is for the confidence that someone above said to try. Go into a store or the classroom or whatever with a smile and try to hold your head up high. or even walk down the street and smile. Pretend that you can do this, you are whatever is bothering you. but i do know this works...
and another please find someone to talk to that can help. my dh is depressed and it took a lot for a man to go to councellor but now it sure has helped him anbd he goes once a month.
take care of yourself and yes dear people do care!!!

jillybean720
12-29-2005, 06:05 PM
Jillybean,
Please keep in mind we are talking to a 14 year old child who is voicing a desperate need for affection. She is very needy and may not be capable of being the good judge of character that you or I may be. Perhaps you didn't read her original entry.

Hey by the way how do you like tech writing? That is the field that I am going into. I'm a 42 year old mom re-entering the job mkt and I want to be able to work from my home office. I hope the market is good ( I'm not too far away in the Northern Shenandoah Valley)

Jennywrenn
I read her original entry--I know when I was 15, I was smart enough to know right from wrong, especially in this age where all kids grow up with computers and internet access practically from birth! It just seemed like a broad statement not directed only to her, and I just wanted to point out that not everyone on the internet is an evil predator :devil: But anyway...

I'm desperately trying to get OUT of tech writing, but that's because I find it terribly dull compared to my previous Marketing position, which is what I'd much rather be doing. Anywhere there's a contractor or an IT company, the job market should be pretty good for such positions. I know my company seems to have offices everywhere!

I so remember those days and I am 48. Now I look back and think none of them were worth the time I spent worrying about.
Amen! Worruing will get you nowhere, but you've made the valuable steps of coming here, admitting your faults, and confiding in a friend. Thank goodness for your friend, too--she's a keeper! I used to have a friend who would just tell me I wasn't fat--denial is not particularly helpful :p

Pinkpolkadot0923
01-16-2006, 07:33 PM
you have no idea how much that has helped. ive lost 5lbs. and feel so much better. i know i can never be a skinny girl and truthfully i dont want to be beacuse it kind of sicking to me to be like 105 like my best friend. she has also been a great supporter of me, i thought she wouldnt understand when i talked to her about this but she really is awsome and my sister from another mother lol. but yes ive stopped writing bad things but i will always keep that journal as a reminder to myself how close i came to really hurting myself. i am doing so much better and i cant thank you anyone else enough. thank you, youve shown me a new light and i couldnt be any happier as i watch my body be more toned and musceled.thank you for helping my spirit and self mind!

racegirl78
01-16-2006, 08:03 PM
Amy,
I have read your posts with a lot of interest. I am so glad that you could make this change for yourself. Isn't it great to feel like you are finally in control? :carrot:

Reggierail
01-16-2006, 08:17 PM
you have no idea how much that has helped. ive lost 5lbs. and feel so much better. i know i can never be a skinny girl and truthfully i dont want to be beacuse it kind of sicking to me to be like 105 like my best friend. she has also been a great supporter of me, i thought she wouldnt understand when i talked to her about this but she really is awsome and my sister from another mother lol. but yes ive stopped writing bad things but i will always keep that journal as a reminder to myself how close i came to really hurting myself. i am doing so much better and i cant thank you anyone else enough. thank you, youve shown me a new light and i couldnt be any happier as i watch my body be more toned and musceled.thank you for helping my spirit and self mind!

Keep up the good work. 5 pounds a good start and you feeling better
about yourself is great too.

Reggie;)