100 lb. Club - November Yada Yada Yada

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11-16-2005, 11:57 AM
I didn't see one of these, so forgive me if I am creating a duplicate.

So I "started over" on Monday after reaching my highest weight AGAIN!!! Monday was pretty easy but on the way home from work I stopped to get gas. This is a pretty dangerous place for me, I shouldn't even go in, but I did. I wandered around looking at all the goodies...Ho Ho's usually being my drug of choice, ended up grabbing a water and went home. By the time I got home I was back in the mindset, writing everything down. I made it through Day 1!! But it was only 1 choice that made he difference. The whole day was pretty much typical on plan day, but that one choice would have sent me right back to my old habits. Making the right choice keep me on plan. It was about 5 minutes out of 24 hours. It really got me thinking that this whole thing is like like that. Overall following your plan is a no brainer, but it's the little choices that make or break you! Today is Day 3 on plan.

Thanksgiving is coming and I am trying to create a game plan. Something that lets me enjoy the day, but still keeps me on plan.

Other than that, life is pretty much normal. We painted the living room/Hallway/entryway a few weeks ago, so we are still in the midst of decorating.

On the health side, my heel spur in acting up and I am having some teeth problems. But overall, life is good.

How is everyone else?

11-16-2005, 12:24 PM
Great job getting back on track Sandi. I've never posted to this thread but I hope it's okay. Sometimes you need to talk.

Well as for me, I had a pretty bad 2.5lb gain this week. But I'm not letting it get to me too badly. Refocus. I'm staying OP this week thus far but am only eating when I am hungry. Unfortunately, I haven't been getting a lot of exercise this week. There are things that I could be doing, I just haven't. Must do better.

On the non-weight-related front, I have begun thinking about/beginning to plan my wedding. Needless to say at 21 I've never done this before. My mother will be helping more later (she lives about 400 miles away) but right now it's up to me to come up with some of my general ideas. I was going to wait until after I graduated but I'm getting antsy. After graduation, though, my mother and I are taking trips to a few locations I'm thinking about so I can make the location decision and get booked. I never realized how much there was to think about. The only thing I know for sure is who my bridesmaids are... and there are 4-8 of them depending on if I am supposed to ask my cousins or not (am I?). I probably will. Ahh..I won't bore ya'll any further.

Thanks for listening!

11-16-2005, 12:58 PM
When are you getting married?

11-16-2005, 01:58 PM
Sandi that is so awesome that you walked away from the ho-hos. I've had a couple of similar experiences this week. I too went into the store and because I was running late I get the kids brownies (they are a quarter) to eat on the way to work/daycare. I was so tempted to grab me a little debbie too but they all looked yucky and I told myself that if I couldn't pick one right then to just walk away and I did. I came to work and made me oatmeal. This morning I was again running late and stopped at said store. I grabbed me two granola bars (for a total of 290 calories) instead of one of the little debbies. Sorry to hear about the heal spur and the teeth. Hopefully they'll get straightened out soon.

Welcome over here Shannon. This is for anyone and everyone to post about anything, not just weight loss. We are truly like one big family around here and this is just the place for more of that get-to-know-you stuff. Planning a wedding can be so much fun and so stressful at the same time. We've had a couple of members recently go through weddings (and haven't been back to post in FOREVER I might add *cough cough* Raelynn and JML *cough cough*).
My first wedding I was anal and planned almost the whole thing by myself with friends and family helping implement it. The second one I turned the reins over to my mom for it ALL. I told her my colors and that I wanted a cowboy themed wedding and let her do the rest. I was preggo at the time, working 40+ hours a week and just didn't want the stress of it all.

As for me, it's been a bad week. Jeff and I got into a huge argument and this is the first time in our marriage we went to bed without resolving it but it was for the best. We'll get it all sorted out tonight. We fought over a small piddly thing but we're both under a lot of stress right now (me with the new owners coming in and not sure if I'll still have a job tomorrow and him with trying to find a cheap car to get him to and from work since it's getting too cold for him to ride the motorcycle.)
After last week of letting it all bother me I'm doing much better this week and not turning to food as my comfort instead turning inward to try and figure it all out.

Oh and I'm wearing my size 20 jeans that were too tight last month (granted I did have to lay down to zip them but they buttoned just fine and are now comfy.) :D

11-16-2005, 02:44 PM
Ooh. Congrats Dawnyal on the pants. I know nothings better than getting into a smaller size.

Sandi, I'm getting married next October. So it's nothing coming too soon, but I have less than a year to get things straight. I don't want to be anal about it but I don't want to get down to the wire and panic myself. The more I do beforehand, the less I have to stress over then. So I'm just starting to consider colors, style of wedding, and little things. I'm really excited about it (but I guess that;s obvious).

11-16-2005, 03:02 PM
Sandi, :bravo: for passing up those tempting little Ho Ho's! Gas stations are evil, evil places I tell ya! :devil: You're right though, following a routine really isn't that big of a deal, but it's those little choices that'll get you every time. Today you made the right choices, now just strive to do it again tomorrow. One day at a time, that's all it takes.

Oh wow, Scarlett, good luck on planning the wedding! You're smart to get an early start. Even though you've still got about a year, it's gonna be one jam packed full year, so try to tackle as much as you possibly can while you still have plenty of time.

That sucks about your argument with Jeff, Dawnyal. :( But can I just say how amazing it is that this was the first time the two of you have ever gone to bed without resolving it first? WOW! I'm fully confidant that you two will be back to :hug: before the night is through. Oh, and YAY! about the jeans! What an awesome NSV!

As for me, well, I'm freaking out about Thanksgiving being only a week away, and Christmas in just over a month! But, of course, I tend to freak out easily! :^: There's just too much to do, and I am definitely NOT a multitasker! But I'll make my way through, as I do every year. Anyone else have big Thanksgiving plans in the works?


11-16-2005, 03:51 PM
I stopped to get gas. This is a pretty dangerous place for me, I shouldn't even go in, but I did

Thats one reason we use the credit card to pay for gas. I don't have any reason to go in and then can't be tempted.

Great job staying OP in the face of temptation. :carrot:

11-16-2005, 07:05 PM
Great job on avoiding the temptation, Sandi! Hope you get your heel and teeth sorted quickly. I'm starting to get a little toothache, myself, but I'm gonna hang on until my next appointment which is about a month away. That way, I don't have to try to deal with getting off-schedule. :eek:

Another 3FC wedding, Shannon! How exciting for you! You have plenty of time to get everything just right for your big day. I met my hubby, arranged the wedding, and got married all within 6 weeks, but I'm guessing yours will be a lot more elaborate than mine was. :lol: (See attached piccie). I had another do in my hubby's church 18 months later which took a little more effort, but I still kept it very simple.

Sorry about your argument with Jeff, Dawnyal. We also try never to go to bed without resolving our differences, but every now and then, it happens. Sometimes it's the best thing to do, and allows us to cool off so we can discuss it rationally the following day. I hope you get things straightened out with each other today. :high: on the jeans! What a boost!

I freak out easily too, Beverly, but I never host get-togethers, so I take the easy way out. ;) Are you planning a big celebration?

Just a major whinge-fest from me, I'm afraid. :sorry: I'm slap into a great big I'm-feeling-sorry-for-myself phase. My weight loss has slowed right down, despite eating healthily for the vast majority of the time, and I'm feeling lethargic and miserable. :( I keep telling myself that I don't mind about losing slowly, but you know what? I do! There, I've said it. I don't feel at all positive, and I'm scared that I'll never get my enthusiasm back again. My OCDs have been playing up, big time, and I can't get rid of the knot in my stomach unless I give in to them. I feel helpless and out of control, and I don't know what to do. :cry:

Apologies again for whining. :^:

11-16-2005, 11:25 PM
No need to apologize Dishy. We all get to feeling down once and awhile. Cheer up tomorrow will be better. Your weight will keep going down. Look at what you have done already.

Good for you Sandi and Dawnyal for making those good choices. It get easier every time.

We have big plans for Thanksgiving too Beverly. We are having my family over for Thanksgiving. 11 adults and 6 kids. Then on Saturday we are doing it all over again with our best friends. 4 adults and 3 kids. It will be a busy weekend but I am looking forward to it.

11-17-2005, 09:42 AM
Shannon, congratulations on the wedding! I am myself not married, but I did help one of best friend's plan her wedding. I was amazed at how the time flew by, you will not even realize it. Nothing really new on my end, I have finished all the fall hikes with Dog Paddling Adventures. The last hike was also a photography clinic which taught us a lot about lighting, background, etc., I myself am a "point and click" kind of photography, and I still use my trusty (non-digital ;) ) Nikon. Of course, I also had to include a picture (I am obsessed) Sad to say, but my dog has proportionally lost more weight than I have! :lol3:

I plan to do a little Christmas shopping this weekend for my mom. She is next to impossible to buy for, so we are going together to get her a new winter jacket which I know she will like. I also get her a "surprise" gift as well, but I much rather her have something she really likes and it not being a surprise. Still struggling a bit on my end, why do I also sabotage myself? I am getting a handle on the chocolate cravings. I have been mostly on plan this week so hopefully it works out tonight on the scale!

11-17-2005, 12:52 PM
I keep telling myself that I don't mind about losing slowly, but you know what? I do! There, I've said it. I don't feel at all positive, and I'm scared that I'll never get my enthusiasm back again. My OCDs have been playing up, big time, and I can't get rid of the knot in my stomach unless I give in to them. I feel helpless and out of control, and I don't know what to do. :cry:

I would say the majority of us feel exactly this way. That's why so many people give up at their first plateau because the weight didn't just fall off. I think you are doing a wonderful job and like so many others have done when doing everything they are supposed to with no weight loss just think that this is what it's going to be like at maintenance. When you are there you won't be looking for pounds lost and it will just be something you do. Whine away. That's what we are here for. :grouphug:

As for thanksgiving, I'm going to borrow this guy :turkey: and run and hide. Really. I don't know what I'm going to do. This is the first time in forever Jeff has to work on that day (9-2). GMIL next door eats right at noon, done by 12:30 everyone gone by 1 p.m. I don't get along with MIL and could care less about going up there, especially without Jeff. Usually we go to other GMIL's house in town (his dad's side of the family) whom I get along great with and only see most of them on holidays. Mom and dad are going to golden corral this year. It's also my dad's big 6-0 and we'll have his party that evening before he goes to work. Mom has to be up and at work before 5 a.m. to get ready for all those shoppers anyway. Jeff and I will talk about this more this weekend and figure out where I'll be taking the kids for the day.

We have worked out our issues (or I should say mostly mine since the witch finally showed up last night) That was a huge part of the big ole blowup anyway was just my hormones on the fritz.

11-17-2005, 01:07 PM
Rob is a hoo hoo, devil dog fanatic. Believe it or not we always have boxes of the stuff around. I didn't grow up eating those, so I only fall to the temptation now and again. as if that isn't bad enough! Congrats, Sandi, on getting through that temptation.

Congrats on the marriage plans. That's really exciting. Why am I craving cake? ;)

Dawnyal, I had Beverly's reaction: But can I just say how amazing it is that this was the first time the two of you have ever gone to bed without resolving it first? WOW! :lol:

It's true, Thanksgiving and Christmas just come so fast, before I even have a chance to really think about it. Several friends and family birthdays in December too.

I would say the majority of us feel exactly this way.
That's true, Dishyfishy. I've felt this way lots of times. Dealing with the ups and downs, screw ups, lapses, injuries, tired periods, whew. It can be a real mental battle. Loved your pic, simple can be really beautiful :)

11-17-2005, 02:23 PM
I'm having huge issues with my inlaws right now. This looks like the place to vent. But we had decided- before this journey- to fry a turkey. We mentioned it to the in laws this summer. After looking around dh and I decided that we were going to take a ham or something less expensive. I told mil and she freaked out and acted so rude. Its hard enough being on plan during thanksgiving and now they are frying the turkey. Not only that but we had to buy the fryer and the oil and they are providing the free turkey they get from work? How backwards is that? Normally the host should provide that you'd think. I'm gonna go, eat what I can and leave pretty quick. I don't want to deal with stress eating.

We are just having problems with them in regards to not 'being there' for us when we need them. They refuse to babysit the baby now even though she bugged me about having a baby for years while I was going through infertility. They say they never had anyone to help them raise their kids so we should just get used to it. Needless to say its frustrating- but I'm not eating!!

Congrats on the wedding!! I ended up getting married on a beach in jamaica so that I didn't have to plan one! Just paid and showed up :) just he and I.

We try not to goto bed angry but have to say its happened more than once and we've only been married 5 years! This is a stressful time of year anyway and I'm sure the uncertainity in life is part of it right now dawnyal. Best wishes!

11-17-2005, 03:59 PM
Deep fried turkey is really good. Don't worry to much about it being bad because it's really not. When done right deep frying does not add that much more fat or calories to the food. It does add some but mostly it stays on the outside.

Now as far as getting along with the family and not stress eating boy that's a hard one. I wish you the best. I know you can do it if you set your mind to it.

I feel bad for all of you that say your going to have such a stressfull day. My family for the most part gets along pretty good. So when we get together for the holidays it's pretty nice.

11-17-2005, 06:07 PM
What do people do with all that oil from frying the turkey?? I've never had deep fried turkey, but I really love smoked turkey. It's expensive, but well worth it.

Liz, I would absolutely love to be able to babysit my granddaughter (see my avatar) so I can't understand where your in-laws are coming from. I loved it when we lived in the same town, and the kids would let us watch her. We were the only ones they'd let babysit, so that was nice (she has lots of medical problems--on oxygen, G-tube), but it didn't happen often enough for me. It's important to get some alone time with your DH so I'm sorry your in-laws are being like that. You should be really proud that you're not eating over the stress.

Howie, we always had fun at family holidays when my parents would be there as well as my MIL. The moms are gone now, and the kids are all scattered, but we have great memories, and love having all the kids together whenever we can (won't be until Christmas 2006 :( ). Now we're the in-laws and we want any SILs and DILs to enjoy their time with us.

11-17-2005, 07:43 PM
Dishy, thanks a lot! And I hope you are feeling better :hug: .

Thanks everyone for the well wishes on my wedding.
Marge, I know...I thought the picture looked absolutely delicious as well!
Liz, I'm jealous. That sounds like a beautiful way to get married.

11-18-2005, 12:49 PM
Liz--I'm not worrying about anything I eat on Thanksgiving. I don't care if I consume 20,000 calories. It is one day out of the year. If I were to eat OP the other 364 I would still be eating health 99.99% of the time. Now granted I don't see myself doing that. They say as long as you eat healthy 90-95% of the time then you are fine. That would still give you 18-36 days of the year to not be on plan. I relate to your ILs. MIL just took my 11-year-old stepson for the week and didn't even ask about her other two grandchildren (my kids). The past 3 times I've brought food to their holiday meals no one eats any of it. (It's not like I bring off the wall stuff either.) You can make it through the day and get right back on plan Friday.

Still real hectic at work. I'm taking a 5 minute break by coming here. I'm about to get down to the nitty gritty of tab building and get this one knocked out. As for the not going to bed when fighting, it's just something we've always stuck too. There've been a couple of times when we stayed up until 3 a.m. talking, trying to get it all sorted out. We generally only fight maybe once a month if that (can you see a pattern here and I bet you can guess when that time is. :D )

11-18-2005, 06:45 PM
You guys are really wonderful people. :goodvibes: I still feel really grotty, but at least I have an idea of what it is. I was weak and in a lot of pain yesterday. My niggly toothache suddenly got much worse, and after much persuasion from hubby, I gave in and got an emergency dental appointment. Turns out I have a rather nasty infection in the root canal I had done 3 years ago. I came away with a 10 day course of antibiotics and a referral to a specialist because the X-ray showed something weird going on. Heh, I bet that won't come cheap! I hate taking medication, but it's got to be done.

Your in-laws treat you appallingly, Dawnyal and Liz! I hop you don't allow their insensitivity to get to you. I get along well with MIL and (step)FIL, but they live squillions of miles away on the east coast, so that might have a huge bearing on that! ;) My siblings-in-law all live fairly locally, and if anything, are a little too friendly for my comfort! :p

Sounds as though you and Kimberley have a great time planned for your Thanksgiving celebrations, Howie. It's so much more relaxing when everybody can get along. I tend to avoid most family get togethers--not because I don't like the people, I just can't always cope with big social occasions. :shrug: They're all pretty understanding for the most part.

It's a shame you have to wait until next year to get together with your family, Sheila, and I hope the time doesn't drag for you I haven't seen my sister for 18 months, and even though we talk for hours on the telephone (thank goodness for prepaid phone cards!) each week, I miss her terribly. I have only 6 months left before I get to visit with her, and I'm so excited! I really need to start making the arrangements. :sigh: I keep putting it off because the trip is so complicated to work out. I have to synchronise buses, planes, trains, and ferries. :faint:

I really must ask: What the heck is a ho-ho? The name conjures up an image to me that I'm sure isn't the true one! :s:

11-18-2005, 08:24 PM
It should conjure up images. It's a chocalate swiss roll. I beleive Little Debbies even calls them swiss rolls. They are pretty yummy. Glad I don't have to deal with a sweet tooth. I had one cookie here at work from the pot luck today and it has given me heartburn. Sweets are not my thing.

11-19-2005, 01:59 PM
Your lucky, Howie, with the family and the sweets. Dawnyal, I usually give Rob some warning when the hormones are about to kick in, so he can buffer himself, heh heh.

Liz, my SIL could sit you down for hours about how she hosted in-laws for years, paying for all the groceries. Then finally asked for people to make it more pot luck. Well, they'd bring one pie (when it would be 20 people). Family can really be clueless sometimes.

Dishy, the tooth thing sounds awful. Glad hubby nudged you into going to the doc sooner. I get nervous about going to any doctor, so I rely on Rob to do that for me.

ho-hos, ding dongs, twinkies, devil dogs, little debbies, beelzebub, they go by many names :lol: Rob actually loves that kind of stuff a lot more than I do, but I definitely suffer from a sweet tooth.

I'm going to make chicken soup today, better get off my keister (is that how you spell that?) and go to the store.

11-22-2005, 08:54 AM
Hello everyone.

I had a rotten weekend. i ate everything i could get my hands on. I guess i finally figured out im a stress eater. but now that i think about it ive always known that. See i would have spent my weekend smoking if i hadnt already given that up. so i just started eating when i would have been smoking. im going to try to get back on plan today. I tried to get bop yesterday too. but flubbed it i did get in all of my water though.

to let you guys know what is going on...

My husband and i just both work part time. we dont make alot of $$. but we live inexpensivly so we dont have any trouble making ends meet. but things are tight. some people cant understand how we can "get by" on what we make. but we do (a lot of prayer)

well anyway. last week my boss put up the new schedule and my hours went from 30 to 12 i work no more than 4- 3 hour shifts this week.

i told myself that im not going to worry about this untill next week. (because of the holiday) Cuz we are closed on thansgiving so perhaps next week my hours wont be as bad. but im still worried.

i hate the thought of finding a new job. because in this area there arnt alot of jobs. and finding one that will pay what im making after 5 years with the same company is going to be really tough.

ive been looking for one in a diffrent feild but there just arnt any that i qualify for. i am registered at our local job center (it helps you find work) but they cant find any to compete with my hours (i was working just m-f 8-2) or my wage.

right now im just praying that something will change. and trying to look on the bright side. I HAVE A JOB. lots of people here dont. I LIKE MY JOB lots of people dont. and God will get us through this. but late at night or when im alone all of the doubts and the fears creep back. I know there isnt anything you guys can do for me but listening is alot right now. thanks

11-22-2005, 09:35 AM
Krista that is a lot of stress!! You should do just as you said- just get through this weeks holiday and see what the schedule looks like for next week. How about asking the schedule person - next week if the schedule is short- if there was anything wrong or why you had less hours. It might be a great dialogue to let them know you need all of the 30 hrs you can get.

Let us know next week how it goes. For now just ENJOY the holidays!!

11-22-2005, 09:54 AM
oh i know why my hours got cut. its nothing i did. the Ceo implimented a new hours matrix. you project the hours you need next week by the sales you did this week.

the boss was over scheduling by 50 hours. so she started cutting back. grapevine has it if she doesnt meet the projected hours they will find someone who will.

this was the first week it went into effect. and they are still trying to work the kinks out of it.

11-22-2005, 01:35 PM
Krista--at least you found out why and hopefully it will get resolved and you won't lose so many hours.

As if I didn't have enough stress already, myself and william are sick with Jeff looking to come down with it as well. It started on Sunday. I had to make a small run to the end of the driveway and snag William before he tried to take his trike on a long distance trip down the road. I grabbed him and trike and by the time I made it back to the porch I was super winded. I about freaked thinking just because I haven't exercised in a couple of days wouldn't make me that winded. Then at the movie (we went to see Harry P-awesome movie BTW) I made another walk really fast to the potty so I wouldn't miss anything move and my heart was just thudding super hard. Yesterday the cruddiness set in so I took me some nyquil and settled in to bed. I got me some daytime medicine while I'm at work and this morning the junk finally broke up. I'm going to just try and get through these next few days and regroup on Saturday.

11-22-2005, 03:53 PM
I hope everyone is feeling better who is sick & that all our chicks (and roosters) enjoy the holiday, even Canajun chicks can enjoy the weekend! :) And congrats on your upcoming wedding, Shannon! It's always exciting to have a Chick get married--just don't disappear like the rest of them!

I'm going to Gramma's for Thanksgiving, but my mother still wants to cook our "dinner" on Friday or Saturday, so we can still have turkey sammiches & whatnot.

The next phase of the clinical trial is coming up, they need it to be all done by 12-12 (hey isn't that Sandi's & Holly's birthday?) They will be flying me to Mayo Clinic.

Work is going good. I am on "lunch" right now, which I am not hungry for, since I ate potluck lunch at first break. I have a salmon frozen diet dinner in the freezer to take home to eat. Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. :yes:

My stepfather should be back from *insert undisclosed overseas millitary location here* early this next year. That will be a load off. Right now I go to my mom's almost every night after work. She is so lonely that she TALKS. NONSTOP. from the second I walk in the door til the second I leave. Not like sitting there mumbling to herself :lol: , just a running commentary & man, I can't take that every night. So I can't wait for Step Papa to come home. The other thing she does that grates on my nerves is, I will mention something fun to do, and her response is, "Let's wait til X gets home." :mad: :mad: :mad: He's not here, we are, let's enjoy ourselves, rather than wallow in self-pity, shall we? Guh.

Actual Papa is almost ready to be put on the transplant list for his bum kidneys. He had a stress test in Madison last weekend & he passed it w/flying colors. He & my stepmom's next goal is to quit smoking, but they have been trying that for the almost 20 years they've been together w/little to no success. So I'm crossing my fingers for that.

Hope everyone has a successful holiday!

11-22-2005, 05:42 PM
Well i'm really new to all of this, i've never weighed so much in my life 290!! In high school i was average weight,(5'9 140-145) I'm not sure what happened but now at 20 i've gained over 100 pounds and i never really noticed it too much until the other day i looked in the mirror and i mean really looked in the mirror. It disgusted me. I'm getting married this coming year and i want to loose a good portion of the weight, i feel really weird talking about weight loss with my boyfriend and i know he'd support me in whatever it is i want to do, and help me make the right choices it just feels weird. I sometimes talk about it with my grandma who always thinks she needs to loose weight (she doesn't) I set a goal of 2 pounds a week figuring its small enough to be easily achieveable, yet enough monthly to actually get somewhere. I was an active swimmer all through high school and i guess my physical activity became non existant. I'm at a loss with what to do, and i feel hopeless. I don't know if i'm being too easy on myself or what. but i need help!!

11-22-2005, 06:55 PM
A while back someone started a thread about the way to put up tolite paper.
Do you roll it over the top or under? I looked back several pages of threads and couldn't find it.
I have never in all these years gven any thought to how I put the tolite paper up. It makes no difference to me the way it rolls just so long as it's there. This morning my huband (mind you after 31 years of marriage) announced to me that I have been putting the tolite paper up wrong, while I was using the bathroom. At first I thought he was joking. He wasn't. His proclimation that "I was doing it wrong" just kind of dumbfounded me. He has never said a word all these years. Go figure.

Also somewhere somone mentioned donating a package of cookie dough to the day care. I just bought some today from a young freind of mine who was selling it to raise money for the basketball team. I am going to donate it to the special needs class that I have been subbing in for the last two weeks. On Fridays the class usually bakes a snack.

11-23-2005, 08:32 AM
Joyce that is a pretty funny that after 31 years he is just now telling you that he thinks you do it wrong. I got a good chuckle out of that! :)

Bride you might be more comfortable after you have been at it awhile. Is your hub 2 b overweight? When my husband and I were 'just' friends- we were best friends for 8 years- I would say I need to lose weight and he'd say 'just lose weight then'. He didn't want to talk about just thought it was a switch. Now hes a good 50 lbs overweight he 'gets it'. It'll get easier talking to him about everything.

I feel horrible saying it but I can't wait for thanksgiving to be over. The tension with the inlaws is just eating me alive or I'm eating it alive. A little update on the turkey situation :) The free turkey they got was like an 8 lbs turkey. We have 10 adults and 2 preteens, 1 teenager and a 2 year old going to be there. I found a place that fries a cajun turkey - it cost as much as the fryer- and you go pick it up and its hot. So we called the inlaws and they said it sounded great. So we are doing something we want to do and not something they told us to do. My mother in law broke down and bought a ham and my older aunt in law is bringing the little turkey and another turkey. We will have plenty- more than enough - but now I feel its a little more balanced.
The other issue with them is something that I don't know if I'll be able to keep my mouth shut about. I think i should just leave before I say something I regret then again I want them to know I am upset- I guess I need to remind myself this is not the time. Back in August our 2nd car broke down. Our second car was given to us by dh stepfather(FIL). He is a mechanic and got it from his shop. Well one day it just broke down. So we had towing ins and towed it to our house. We were going to take it to a mechanic by our house. FIL called about something unrelated and dh told him the car broke down and FIL asked why we didn't tow it to his work? We explained we didn't want to burden him. He said we'll come pick it up. It took 2 weeks, we didn't say a word but anytime they talked on the phone he said 'I'll come get it'. Finally he came and got it 3 weeks later. Since then its been at his shop. He keeps saying stuff like "I looked at the car today and I'm ordering parts", now its "I've ordered the parts". The turn around time for parts at a mechanic is one day. they have them delivered by a local auto parts place. I wouldn't care but we paid him for this car. Dh won't say anything about it and I just want the car back so we can get it fixed. I'm either stuck at home or stuck at work and I hate it. I have a deep brewing anger about it :) I don't know what the deal is with the inlaws we are just trying to make it to work so we can pay the bills like the rest of the world. The way it is now we drive ds to school, me to school, dh takes baby to daycare and he goes to work. He leaves for lunch everyday- I'm 'trapped' basically! anyway thats a big wad of frustration for you!

11-23-2005, 09:35 AM

we just ran into the same problem w/ my teenage daughter. turns out that shes really anal about witch way the toilet paper rolls. (personally i dont care like you i just want it on the roll) she likes it to roll over the top. we solved it by doing it her way. since neither i nor my husband care how it goes on we just do it her way. thus keeping her from being annoyed everytime shes in there. and afterall shes a teen age girl....we never get to use the bathroom anyhow.lol

why dont you call your own mechanic? its obvious that hes not going to fix this in your time frame. it will cost you but if the car is yours and you paid for it you can take it where ever you want right? my husband is a mechanic but if i had waited for him to fix my car i would still be walking. family doesnt work as hard for you simply because "they are my family they have to understand why im not doin it" where as if you were some joe blow off the street they would be kissin your butt.

so i would call a mechanic and keep my mouth shut.
then you can sit through dinner w/ out feeling like its looming over your head and when they decide (if ever) to fix your car it will already be done. worse case senario: they find out when they see you divie it and get mad at you for not letting them do it. but if they ask you about it all you have to do is explain you NEEDED the car fixed.

11-23-2005, 10:08 AM
The problem dh has is that FIL will see it as a passive agressive move if we come get the car from him and take it to another mechanic. I do want to go get it and think there is a nice way to say 'We are going to come get the car' but dh doesn't see it that way. DH thinks we need to just let him keep it and see how long it takes but we are willing to pay and we have the money to pay. I would have never mentioned it to FIL because I knew this would happen. Believe me everytime I talk to mother in law I drop the whole 'since we are down to one car' statement. I really don't know if the car has been taken apart like he says or if the car is actually sitting whole. I guess I could just send a tow truck out to get it and take it to the place we were going to take it too.
This has been going on so long- its just one of those things between dh and I -I would have never called fil and now I would have no problem getting the car, I've been begging for a new car but dh doesn't want the payments. So I feel like I'm the one who is suffering I have to come in to work early and I have to stay late. I only get a half hour lunch and dh takes 1.5 hr long lunches. He had to drop the baby off and pick him up. He takes his lunch about the time ds11 gets off school to check up on him. And he cleans the house everyday at lunch. I am just feeling no control right now I guess... obvious huh?

so looking at this from this perspective I guess I'm really upset with dh and really upset FIL has let this go on soooooo long. I am going to tell FIL tomorrow that we will send someone out on monday to pick up the car. I will have to make an executive decision. I will call the other mechanic to go and get it myself and tell dh I need to have some freedom during the day.
I just have issues with my mother in law. I want to move from oklahoma closer to my family and dh said he wants to stay to be closer to his family but they aren't very 'supportive'. They don't want us over because they smoke inside and we don't allow it around ds. We told them after he was born we wouldn't put him in that situation. they seemed to understand but then they just quit inviting us over. Then mother in law begged and begged to let him stay over. They are in a 'lifestyle' and it makes me a little uncomfortable- she wouldn't ever gradually just keep him a few hours or offer to watch him while we went to a movie. It was all or nothing. Well he stayed over there for the first time a couple months ago, she is a clean freak and she brough him home literally muddy, scraped up knees and then told us a 'funny story' about how she went in and he had thrown up and 'Ha ha he had slept in his puke'. DS normally cries hysterically when he throws up so we were just slightly mortified. DH said never again and we would not be going if it weren't a holiday.
Gosh I can vent--- free therapy :)

11-23-2005, 10:09 AM
:thanks1: I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to our American chicks (and roosters)! I hope you enjoy the day!

Bride, welcome to the group! There is a lot of amazing support on this forum. Post often so we can get to know you.

Liz, Vent away! I am sorry to hear about all the stress that you are having with your in-laws as well as the whole car thing. Everything will work out. I know when my car finally died last year and I had to use my mom's for awhile it drove her and myself crazy. :crazy: She went house crazy, I felt guilty using her car all the time, plus the loss of independence on both sides (her being housebound, me having to race home after work to give her back the car). I hope you have a peaceful Thanksgiving. What is it about the hoildays that brings the :devil: out in everyone?

Case in point, my mom asked me what I was doing for Christmas this year, and I have not firmed up my plans as of yet and I did not commit to staying home for Christmas, so she did not talk to me for the rest of the day.

I also spent Saturday shopping with her and comtemplating matricide. ;) For her Christmas present, my brother and I said we would buy her a new jacket. Since we are both stubborn, that was a fun trip. :rolleyes: We finally ended up at Penningtons (plus size store) after four hours, and she found what she was looking for. Did I say stubborn? She initially did not want to go to the store because it was a plus size store. I love her to death, but she has blinders on when it comes to her weight. In her mind she is a size 16, and nothing I can say will change that. I know where she is coming from, as I have major body image issues myself but sometimes you just want to scream!!! :tantrum: :censored:

Other than that, we have had our first official dusting of snow! It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas! :snow4:

11-23-2005, 10:16 AM
Carol we were posting at the same time... I expaned my vent.

Mothers and Daughters always have such uh unique relationships don't they? Well at least you got her to get a coat huh?
My mother always has everything planned and overplanned and thinks everyone else should too. I intentionally do all my christmas shopping two weeks before so that she can freak out for a little bit. talk about passive agressive! I actually have started shopping early this year but haven't said anything to her about it. She is almost done.
I am work and house crazy. I have to be dropped off and picked up from work everyday and I dh takes his time getting here in the afternoon. Once I said I get off at 430 and he didn't talk to me for a couple of hours. I know he is sick of dropping me off and picking me up but have some consideration ya know?

11-23-2005, 11:09 AM
Bride: :welcome2: to the group. I agree that it can be overwhelming but as you go along you will start to see so many changes happening that you'll wonder why you were overwhelmed. :)

Joyce: That was me on both issues TP and cookie dough. I am the anal must be over on the roll person and I donated the cookies to daycare. I think that's great that you are going to make them for the class. That's funny your hubby never mentioned it to you before. So which way does he prefer?

Liz: I'm so sorry to hear about the ILs. Too bad they have to come with the spouse huh? ;) Maybe if you started calling FIL to come and pick you up and take you to and from work he'd get the car fixed faster? LOL. Just try not to stress too much about the holiday. You are only one person and can only do so much.

Carol: That sounds stressful. I can say I'm lucky with the relationship I have with my mother. I consider her one of my closest friends as well.
I'm so jealous of the snow. We haven't had a decent snow where I live in years.

11-23-2005, 11:41 AM
Dawynal, I think the stress comes in with mom is that she pushes herself to try and do everything herself and then gets fustrated and miserable when she can't. She ain't as young as she used to be. She is turning 73 next week, and is pretty good shape except that her feet are killing her. All that stilletto wearing in the 50s when she was a young thing working. I never wear heals after seeing what it does to your feet ;) . I am a little bemused that as she gets older the parent-child relationship reverses and I am the parent now.

11-23-2005, 11:50 AM
Carol I can agree about the parent child relationship thing.
During the hurricane that hit texas my parents were going to stay home. We had to beg and threaten to make them leave. I finally told them to fax over their important documents in case anything happened. They finally left but it was so frustrating...I think they didn't like being told what to do! :)
I work with AARP members all day. Most are in their 60-80s and they are so funny. You don't want to offend by suggesting they talk with family and friends about important issues if they get any idea you are saying that they jump all over you.
Its a fine line.

11-23-2005, 12:32 PM
Oh, reading about toilet paper made me laugh! I haven't been keeping up with this thread lately, but I must say that the toilet paper was mentioned in another area of the forum in a thread about pet peeves. They said that the toilet paper should always go over the top, and to prove her point, she said that toilet paper with printed designs are designed to face the correct direction only when going over the top :dizzy: My mother always made us put it over the top, so that's how I do it now only out of habit, but I honestly don't think it really matters!

11-23-2005, 12:41 PM
I honestly never pay attention to how I put it on. I just put it on. I'm sure my husband puts it on one way because he is a creature of habit. The logic on the design makes sense.
My mom always puts sheets on with the design on the inside- so the top sheet is face down she always said so that we could sleep in flowers. I also noticed if you fold your top sheet back you see the pretty side.

11-23-2005, 12:47 PM
Ken likes thes tolite paper to roll off over the top. He also mentioned to me about the printed paper towels were made to roll over the top. I never noticed.
Happy Turkey day! We are having brunch with our two boys then headed off to Laughlin Nevada for the long weekend.
Gobble, gobble,

11-23-2005, 01:52 PM
Have fun!

11-23-2005, 02:16 PM
Well thank you everyone. No my boyfriend is not overweight. I guess i didn't do well yesterday i got to wrapping birthday presents for my boyfriend's (David) Niece. I hjad a bowl of Ice Cream, and then we had port of subs for dinner. I got kinda of upset with him at dinner last night, he is from a large family 6 brothers (hes the youngest of 7) and i guess comes the mentality to not waste food. We will go out to eat and he'll push me to finish my plate when i'm already full. A lot of my eating problems and weight gain are emotional. My parents divorced this year and it was beyond ugly. I moved with my dad and have no realtionship with my mother and her side of the family. I gained almost 30 pounds from January to now. When i was telling David what i wanted to weigh last night (140) he told me that was too thin...kind of discourging. All in all i'm determied to make good choices today. No soda...thats my weakness!

11-23-2005, 03:20 PM
Bride - Even adult divorces are hard. I have been there it ended up being an affair/seperation that mended but the year of seperation was ****!

You may have put this somewhere but how tall are you?

One suggestion might be to eat what you want and ask if he wants the rest if you are out or ask for a doggy bag, if you are at home wrap it up for later. That way you can eat later if you want and he can't get upset :)

Portion control is my biggest issue and my dh LOVES to eat big meals. I have learned to stop at one plate and to eye out my food a little bit. It seems to help. It might be a good idea since you are on your own on this to picture the size of a deck of cards as a meat portion or the palm of your hand. There are alot of these little tips- the top knuckle up to the tip on your thumb is a tablespoon. If I eat pasta or rice I try to imagine a measuring cup full sitting on my plate.

What plan are you doing? are you counting calories?

11-23-2005, 04:11 PM
I spoke to a yoga instructor @ my health club yesterday, she encouraged me to come try her class. I had concerns about my fat a$$ keeping up w/everyone else. She said she's got a lot of beginners & that everyone goes at their own pace.

11-23-2005, 04:25 PM
I didn't go this week for that very reason. I am afraid I will be rolling all over the floor.

Thanks for the info it might get my 'nerve' up!

11-25-2005, 08:04 PM
I'm not a big turkey fan or even a big fan of thanksgiving so it's not too hard for me, although soon to be brother in law and i have been hiding green bean cassrol and cake from eachother. I want it and hide it, he wants it finds and hides it from me. . . maybe its for the best. I'm just trying to heat less fatning foods. It's not that i over eat, its just what i eat is crap! I love vegatables and stuff though but it never seems to make into my mouth. Yes my parents divorce hit me very very hard. They were married for 28 years and then it just fell apart i blame my mom. however its all almost over now and i have a wonderful relationship with my dad. I've been kinda watching the scale. I don't think i gained anything over the holiday. I'm 5'9 and my weight doesnt look to bad...but it really bothers me!

11-27-2005, 05:45 PM
Hi everybody! :wave: It's been so long since I checked in here, I wanted to let you all know that I'm still alive and kicking and give you an update on life in the land of Sarah! :)

Here are the high points:

I'm doing well, my energy continues to improve, and work is going well. I have found a lump above my collar bone, so I'm going to move up my scan appointment to allay any concerns. It was originally scheduled for the very end of December, but I'm going to do it just as soon as they can fit me in -- hopefully this week. My oncologist gave me a happy thumbs-up when I saw her a few weeks ago, but that was based on blood tests alone. I'm sure I'm fine, but of course I'm freaking pretty hard. :?: I haven't told Lorraine about it -- noone until now, actually -- because she's already pretty stressed out about everything else we've got going on, and I don't want to worry her if it's nothing.

Lorraine's learned that she's almost definitely going to get downsized right after the turn of the year (along with 10% of her peers) so, long story short, we're planning on moving to Atlanta. We've wanted to move from this area anyway, so if she has to look for a new job, it might as well be in a place where we can get much more house for our money. We're building a home south of Atlanta, and are frantically preparing our Maryland home to be put on the market the end of next week. Between my cancer and her Lyme Disease, we didn't get around to some of the home improvement/beautification projects we'd planned for 2005, so now it's a big push to paint molding, etc., and put as much stuff in storage as possible. (We rented two tables at a local flea market yesterday and sold almost $500 worth of stuff!) It's a lot, with both of us still working full time and neither of us at 100% yet.

As I write this, Lorraine's on a plane to Atlanta; a restaurant chain is flying her down and putting her up for a couple of days to go through their interview process for a district management position. The plan is to get her hired first while I continue in my MD job, hopefully she finds a job right away and starts right after Christmas, we wrap things up with packing here, and if our realtor is right and the house sells within 30 days, we'll both move down there together and rent till the new house is built (in April-May.) Depending on how things work out, we may end up living apart for a while, which would be hard and just plain suck overall, but we'll just have to see how the timing all plays out. We've never been through this process before, and because we went through all of our savings this year, our options are limited.

Now we just need for her to continue feeling better, me to continue to stay healthy and have just a silly little lump for no important reason. *gulp* And we both need to get new jobs in the southern metropolitan Atlanta area!

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, and that you're each enjoying some peace, calm, and loving times going into this holiday. And stay away from that fruit cake! That's my plan! :lol:

Much love ~ :hug:

11-27-2005, 10:56 PM
Bride2B06, I know exactly what you mean. At 5'10 272lb, my weight doesn't look horrible. On the rare occasion that I tell people my actual weight, they are usually surprised at the #. Being tall masks it a lot. But I'm extremely uncomfortable with it. We see more of ourselves than anyone else, I guess. And although it helps to hear that you look smaller than you are, knowing the full truth still hurts.:cry:

11-27-2005, 11:59 PM
SUCHAPRETTYFACE and goalnorolls, I am a Plus-Sized yoga instructor and in some groups I am the only "fat" lady! :D Please don't be discouraged by your size. Set yourself up in the back of the room so that you'll feel less self-conscious about how you look and so that you'll have a better view of what you need to be doing. Yoga can be very healing, fun and good exercise! Enjoy :)

LessofSarahtolove, thanks for checking in. You and your partner are courageous and are strong women, placed together for a reason. I'll pray that all goes well with health, job and moving!

Bride2Be and Scarlettdrawl, I relate! I am a "fit-fat" person...also quite tall and I "wear" my weight well. No one EVER believes me when I tell them how much I weigh! I honestly look at least 60 pounds thinner by what everyone says to me. Also, my sweetie would prefer for me to stay a bigger sized woman! He's supportive, in somuch as he loves me for me, but he prefers me at about 50 pounds heavier than I'd like to be! So, the weight loss is all up to me and I'm doing it for my own reasons.

Goddess Jessica
11-28-2005, 02:33 AM
My mom always puts sheets on with the design on the inside- so the top sheet is face down she always said so that we could sleep in flowers. I also noticed if you fold your top sheet back you see the pretty side.

Yes, that's the way you're suppose to make your bed (so the designs show when you turn down the sheets)... however, my mother convinced me that it was so when I hid under the covers from the monsters, that I would entertained by the Mickey Mouses and Donald Ducks on my sheets. Do you know that I believed her until I had my own apartment? :lol:

11-28-2005, 07:29 AM
WOW, Sarah, what a change! I know what you mean about more house for your money, though. I live just outside of DC, and Good LORD, homes are insanely expensive :o I would love to buy a place so I can stop wasting my money on rent, but a one-bedroom condo in a high-rise around here runs around $250,000, let alone how much a 2-bedroom would be. Jeff and I actually went down to visit his aunt and uncle about an hour south of Atlanta back in June--what a beautiful area! I hope you like the heat!! Do one of you have family or anything down there? Just wondering how you settled on the Atlanta area for your next home. In any case, good luck with the move and all the job shifting!

11-28-2005, 09:41 AM

First of all, my thoughts and prayers are going to you that all results are in the clear. :hug: :goodvibes When I first starting reading the boards, you always struck me of such a great example of a strong woman! Even more so after learning what you and Lorraine have gone (and are going through). All the best in the move. Change is an exciting and scary thing!

11-28-2005, 02:03 PM
Wow, thanks for the tip on the sheets, you guys! :lol: This site just gives and gives, doesn't it?

Yogini, thanks for the kind words -- I wish I had more time to chat here and get to know you -- you sound like such a cool person!

Carol, you're always so sweet to me! Thank you so much for your support. You're really special. :)

Jill, we settled on that area because we have friends there (two couples). One of them (an ex of Lorraine's -- that I honestly just love!! -- has been hounding us to move down there because she and her partner built such a great house, and when we went down there about 3 weeks ago, we were really impressed with the community, quality of homes by this one builder, and the prices. Since we know that we have to make a move SOMEWHERE, we figured that we might as well move there, since we already have a few friends there, know the area is safe and a good investment, and that the job market's ok.

Now all I need is to find out that this enlarged node is not cancerous. If it is, then noone's moving anywhere and I'll be getting a stem cell transplant. But we are just SO not going to go there just yet. Lorraine still doesn't know anything -- she's out of town interviewing till tomorrow afternoon, and I've got my PET scan scheduled for tomorrow and and oncologist appt. for Wednesday morning. I should get the scan results Wednesday or Thursday. When Lorraine comes back, I'll let her know what's going on, even though she'll completely freak out and want to cancel any arrangements we've made to sell and build. Obviously, I'm not going to let her do anything drastic until we get those scan results.

Thanks again, you guys. :hug:

11-28-2005, 02:52 PM
Man Sarah you guys sure have been through the ringer. I just know that lump is going to be nothing. I will be praying for you two. Keep us posted.

How exciting to be moving like that. Sometimes I think it would be fun to pick up and start new somewhere else. With my mom living with us we won't be doing that. I don't really think I would want to leave Ohio anyway.

We love you and if you need anything let us know.

11-28-2005, 02:57 PM
Oh, well, shoot...Howie just told me what's going on, Sarah! I've forgotten to look at the Yadda Yadda thread forever. You know you and Lorraine are both in our hearts! Love you both, girls.

11-28-2005, 03:03 PM
Hi folks,

It is great to get to post once in awhile. I still have a pooped port on my computer and have promised myself to back up all relevant data so that it can go in the shop this week. They keep telling me how they don't want to but that they might wipe out my hard drive and I have no real back up to speak of. In the meantime, it's the library every so often. I actually find I talk to people on the phone more often and that is not a bad thing.

Life is great here and I have found myself being very thankful for all that I have. My medical condition (inflamed lymph nodes around my liver) is still uncertain but I seem to be OK with waiting to see what develops.

Sarah - You are the greatest and as you know the winner of the Ms. Equanimity title for 2005. I recieved the title in 1999 when due to poor health I sold my business and home, put all my things in storage, camped for three months and started driving around the US looking for a healthier (better air quality) place to live. This pales compared to all that you and Lorraine have gone through this year. My heart and love go out to both of you. Looking at the long haul the outcome for me has been goodness beyond my wildest dreams. I am hoping the same for you.

As for everyone else, need I say that 3FC is the greatest place for all kinds of healthy support. Hang in with the Yoga.

See ya


11-28-2005, 04:27 PM
Yogini, thanks for your words of encouragement. I haven't done yoga since theatre camp, in HS!!! :eek: But am looking forward to it.

Sarah!!! I know you & Lorraine will make it thru this. Such big changes, I think you are right not to worry her until you know something definite. I'm hoping & praying that it's just a harmless cyst or benign lump. :crossed: Your new home's area sounds beautiful. Please keep us updated on this!! Remember how much we are rooting for you! :cheer:

11-28-2005, 05:09 PM
Hi everyone! I am new here -- I hope you all don't mind if I just jump in and try to get caught up!? :) Everyone was so welcoming on my initial post earlier today -- I really really appreciate it! :)

As you all already know, I am a new mom! I also work full time -- I am the head of the creative department at my company -- busy job! :) Oh, and I am a wife too. My lucky hubby is of a normal size, though he works at it, by eating completely reasonably and moderately and like someone who is not at all addicted to food! Something I seem to know nothing about -- grrr! I remember when we first started dating it was right before Halloween and for months after that he had all of this leftover Halloween candy just sitting in the cupboard. I just kep thinking HELLO!! How has he not devoured that by now??? Ha, ha!

Anyway, thanks for letting me in on the fun! I will try to catch up soon!

:) Lauren

11-28-2005, 06:54 PM
I just want to say that you guys are such a source of support to me. I had more friends before I got together with Lorraine 7+ years ago -- we did that "new couple merge" thing, sadly, and I just don't have the external support system that I once did. I don't have any family. So it really means so much to be able to come here and find friends who offer sincerely given, genuine, real support to me when I most need it.

It's really hard going through this with noone but my boss clued in -- she is now, since I need time off for my appointments, but we don't talk much about personal stuff. I'm absolutely terrified by this, and have been since I found the lump on Thanksgiving Day. I didn't tell Lorraine then because I didn't want to ruin her time with her family, then the weekend was too hectic, and then she had to fly to her job interview. I kept hoping the node would just go down, disappear. But it's still there, and my boss could feel it too. It just sucks. I'm not going to usurp this whole thread going into how it is to manage the terror of having the relapse stick hovering over your head, and then to have your worst fear realized. I just keep telling myself not to get too far ahead of myself -- that's how I got through the last mess so calmly -- but it is so hard not to give in to the fear and contemplate the worst. And how sick is this -- I hope you guys find the humor in this because I totally had to laugh at my warped self -- as I was thinking of what it would be like to go through a stem cell transplant (bone marrow transplant) I thought, "On the bright side, everybody loses a lot of weight on that one, so if I make it, I'll get the added bonus of coming out of it skinny!" :lol: I know, pretty warped. It's the fat girl's version of "looking on the bright side!" :lol: It's the only thing about this that doesn't make me cry.

Anyway, it is what it is. I'm going to dodge Lorraine's calls tomorrow morning, so she doesn't know that I'm going into work late to get the scan. Then I guess I'll tell her tomorrow night so she can go with me to the oncologist. (She's missed just one appt. and 1/2 a chemo session since the start of this.)

All I can tell you guys is: live your freaking lives. Don't live for tomorrow. Don't fight over petty s**t. Don't assume you have the rest of your lives to reach your goals. And give thanks for life: all the love, all the gifts, all the beauty.

Thank you very, very much.

11-28-2005, 08:41 PM
I'm right with your warped self. I would be thinking along the same lines. I'm still praying that it's nothing. It makes me sick to think of you going through something like that again.

11-28-2005, 10:10 PM
Wow. Just had to jump in and send all the warm thoughts your way, Sarah. If I ever have to deal with something like this, I hope I can approach it the way you are. I guess it's not about whether you freak out or not, it's how you go from there -- and there YOU go, giving all of US advice. Thanks and good luck with everything.

11-29-2005, 11:44 AM
Sarah--sending warm thoughts your way today.

11-29-2005, 01:52 PM
Sarah--sending warm thoughts your way today.Me too! Can ya feel em? :goodvibes:

11-29-2005, 02:42 PM
Sarah, I'm only able to peek in at this thread now and again. Good luck with everything. You definitely have a lot of people thinking about you and wishing you well.

11-29-2005, 04:29 PM

May the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.

Saying a prayer for you for tomorrow morning.


11-29-2005, 05:16 PM
Add me to the list of folks sending good vibes in your direction, Sarah! :goodvibes:

11-29-2005, 05:21 PM
Just finally had a chance to read through this thread. I'm thinking about you Sarah - I hope everything goes well at your appointment.


11-30-2005, 10:51 AM
Wow. You guys are just so, so generous and beautiful. :hug: I really love you all so much!! :goodvibes

This has to be quick, because I'm at work and trying to catch up from having missed a day and a half, with this afternoon to be lost as well. My home laptop has some dreadful trojan virus and is just completely debilitated, so I've finally lost the ability to go online. (I'm going to have to wipe it.) So I'm just now reading your responses.

I had the scan.....long story short: I threw up on myself while in the scanner. Now is that adding insult to injury or what?? It's all associative, as any of you who've either had or known someone who's had cancer will know -- I get nauseous every time I go to the oncologist, for example. One of my chemo nurses told me that she ran into a former patient in the grocery store and the guy threw up as soon as he saw her! :eek: Pretty funny. Anyway, I puked, and it was very, very unpleasant. I don't know the results yet. I am going to see my onc today, and should hopefully get the results this afternoon.

If I find out anything definite today, I'll go on Lorraine's work laptop (she's coming home tonight -- she stayed an extra night) and update you guys. Otherwise, it will be tomorrow.

Lorraine signed the contract on the Atlanta house! There's more, but I'm just so short on time....I'll try to get on tonight to share, since you've been so very, very loving and supportive. I can't thank you enough.

And Aimee, I DID feel 'em!! ;)

11-30-2005, 11:07 AM
Sarah -- I know I am new here but I wanted to wish you luck as well! :)

11-30-2005, 02:02 PM
Still praying for good results. Sorry you had such an ordeal with the scan.

11-30-2005, 02:05 PM
You poor thing. :hug: Geez, how much more can a gal take?!?! :angel: Praying here too that the results come back good. :angel: If Lorraine isn't home yet, does that mean she doesn't know anything that's going on??

11-30-2005, 03:46 PM
Lorraine knows nussink! I am fully supporting Sarah in that decision. There is no need to worry her needlessly until she is home w/Sarah. Once she is home, let the worry/support/hugs begin. It would only frustrate Lorraine right now, to not be there.

I am still hoping it's just a cyst. :goodvibes: :crossed:

I got some news of my own today. I am going for my MRI & first dosing of the clinical trial's second phase next week & again the week of Christmas. We are hoping this drug will be the means to an end of Polycystic Kidney Disease. I know Suzanne doesn't like us to use external links, so Sandi, erase this if you need to, but for those who have no clue about me & my diseased kidneys:


I am a third generation PKD patient. My grandmother had a transplant when I was a baby, and my father is taking the steps to be on the recipient list. I am in the very early stages, and participated in a clinical trial last November in Orlando. I'm very excited to be part of the solution. It feels good to be pro-active. :yes:

11-30-2005, 04:21 PM
Sarah--i'm still thinking of you today.

Aimee--that is great it's about to start. I hope this they are able to find the cure soon.

11-30-2005, 08:19 PM
You're in my thoughts as well Sarah.

12-01-2005, 02:04 PM
Okey dokey ~ here's my update, to be followed by some words to Aimee!

I've got good news, and iffy news. The good news: the thing I felt wasn't a node after all and is just nothing. The iffy news: before leaving the radiology place, I saw on the scans (I always get copies) that there was something else that "lit up" (appeared) elsewhere (inner chest, right side.) The scanning technician agreed that it might be relevant, but I knew to wait for the radiologist's report. So when I went to the oncologist, she showed me the report, which said, "Suspicion of active lymphoma." :eek: Well, alrighty then! :dizzy: She went on to say that she'd called the radiologist to discuss it, and concluded that it was probably nothing. She feels that because this node didn't light up as much as they all lit up initially, and given that I responded so well to treatment - getting a clean scan halfway through treatment and then again at the end 3 months later - that it's probably viral, or maybe inflammation from shrinking scar tissue, or something equally harmless. She said she doesn't want to discount it entirely, so she wants me to get rescanned at the end of January, but in the meantime we're going to take a "wait and see" approach. I guess this kind of uncertainty just comes with the territory, unfortunately.

Lorraine's ok -- she was terrified and upset initially, and wished she'd been able to support me throughout and also been able to be there for the test and doctor's appt., but she's a little better now. She is less comfortable with the uncertainty than I am, but I'm sure as time passes, she'll get more used to it. What makes it harder is that her sister and best friend are giving her a hard time for signing on the house, pulling out the cancer card, saying, "How will you be able to make payments if Sarah gets sick again....Sarah's not going to be able to get insurance, etc...." Not fair. They can't deny me for a pre-existing condition as long as I don't let my insurance lapse -- hello, COBRA -- and the likelihood that I will get sick again is slim, thank God. And we can get a much bigger home for 30K less than our current home! The truth is, we just can't let fear rule our decisions, or paralyze our actions. It's sad, because she was so excited about the house -- it's BEAUTIFUL!!! -- and they've totally burst her bubble in a desire to keep her near. (They're collaborating together.)

So there's the whole drama -- both concluding and dragging on. Life goes on. Thank you again, for so generously giving your support and good will. You guys are the very, very best!!

Now Aimee ~ I'm so excited for you!! I haven't kept up very well, but I recall something about participation in this study representing some kind of conflict of interest with your new(ish) job. I'm so glad that worked out! I think it's wonderful that you're participating, and that you're going to be part of a possible solution for so many! I'm a strong believer in participating in trials/studies whenever possible! YAY!! I hope the treatment agrees with you, and that it goes smoothly and helps you before it's further developed to help so many others!!! :hug: Happy holidays, indeed! Keep us posted, ok?

12-01-2005, 02:18 PM
I'm so happy for you Sarah. I know you have mixed emotions but I know everything is fine. You two enjoy dreaming of the new house and don't let others bring you down.

12-01-2005, 02:38 PM
Oh Sarah, that's great news!


12-01-2005, 03:01 PM
Yay Sarah!!:carrot: I know you're not completely out of the woods (yet) but I'm keeping my :crossed: that everything does, indeed, turn out perfectly fine with the next test. I can't say that I blame Lorraine's sister and friend for trying, however sneaky and inconsiderate it may have been. After all, wouldn't you do anything you had to in order to keep such a special lady nearby? Try not to let 'em get to you, and just concentrate on making yourselves happy right now, 'cause that's all the really matters anyway, right? Thanks for the update sweetie, and take care!


12-01-2005, 03:53 PM
Sarah, I am so happy that the news is good. :woo: I know the uncertainty can be a killer, but the two of you are :strong: women, you will get through this! I am sorry that Lorraine's sister and friend are making what should be a wonderful, exciting move, difficult and riddled with guilt (we women are sooo good at that kind of thing). You guys do what is right for you, and no one else! They will come around and support you guys when they see how happy both of you are. Awesome news! :carrot: :carrot: :bravo: :cp: :cb: :dance: :hat: :high: :cheer:

12-01-2005, 05:01 PM
Jeez, Sarah, I would feel a lot better if they scanned you at the end of December, as well as January. But them's the breaks & I will have to live with that! :p I'm glad the lump is nothing to be worried about, though!! :cheer:

I think it's horribly selfish of Lorraine's loved ones to want to keep her around, but can you blame them? She's pretty great! :yes: I hope they warm up to the idea in time.

And, as long as I am not paid outright like I was last November (receiving a check in my hand), it is not a conflict. The drug company is paying for: airfare, hotel, cab, meals, MRI, blood testing, urinalysis, etc. As long as I do not receive monies, I am good to go! :dance: My boss is very supportive & excited & I have to say, I am too. This will last 3 years & I've gone off my diuretics today & will be switched from an ACE inhibitor to an angiotensin receptor blocker w/in the next 2 months for HBP. This new drug won't help my dad, but it's very rewarding to think I could live to see a cure. :) Thanks for asking, I promise to keep you (all) updated.

Speaking of which, if anyone knows of any diet-friendly/vegetarian restaurants (think Mom & Pop, not Subway so much) around the Mayo Clinic, please PM me. Thanks in advance!

12-01-2005, 05:06 PM
Oh, YAY!! We're so glad to hear the good news, and confident along with your docs that the other will be nada. Like Scrooge says, it could be a bite of underdone turnip. ;)

Howie and I can't believe it's only a month now before we head to Maryland ourselves. Boy, time sure flies. It was September 15 he had the appointment with Dr. Kebaish at Johns Hopkins, and here it is almost time for his back surgery. Time stops for no man!

12-01-2005, 05:07 PM
We posted at the same time, SAPF. We're rooting for you, too!! You're so fortunate to have this opportunity - what a blessing.

12-01-2005, 05:24 PM
Yeah Sarah! I'm doing the happy dance for you. It sounds like Lorraine did the right thing and her family is just trying to scare her into wanting to stay close to them. I don't know if you have access to the "duck" insurance but I've been to a couple of their presentations and I know they offered a couple of different types of cancer insurance. I'm not sure if they changed their policies about having had cancer before but it might be worth checking into.

12-01-2005, 06:11 PM
Thanks you guys! :goodvibes

Dawnyal, my understanding is that as long as I never let my insurance lapse, ie. do COBRA after leaving this job and the effective date at the next, no insurance company can deny me, even for this pre-existing condition. The key is that I retain coverage for every day in the interim. I've forgotten which law or statute covers that, but I'm just about positive that's the case. I do want to confirm that with my boss (I am an HR Generalist, reporting the Director of HR -- who's formerly an HR bigwig at Blue Cross Blue Shield, so she ought to know for sure!) but I haven't yet told her that I'm leaving, so I don't really know how to broach the topic, since it hasn't yet come up with any of our employees and I'm a horrible liar. No poker-face whatsoever. :nose:

12-01-2005, 07:58 PM
Great news! You girls go to Atlanta and enjoy setting up your new house!
I'll be thinking of you.

12-06-2005, 02:03 PM
I know I'm ultra-late on this one Sarah...but I wanted to know that I was really worried when you said you found the lump...and am SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY to hear that it is nothing!!!! :cheer:

You know you always have my positive vibes and love and prayers. :hug:
Wishing you the BEST of luck and smooth transition to Atlanta!


12-07-2005, 01:09 PM
Awwww, thank you, Joyce and Linda! :grouphug:

Linda, thank you for the love!! :goodvibes It was quite the scare and isn't quite over, but I trust my oncologist implicitly, and if she says not to worry, then I'm going to do my damndest to do as I'm told. :yes:

I really appreciate your support, you guys! It just helps so much more than you know. :goodvibes

12-07-2005, 01:57 PM
*Yawn*...Good morning! ;) It's the Nightowl checking in. We have sunshine today - woo! There are clouds coming, but for a brief moment there was sunlight streaming through the lace curtains in the office. Hey, in the winter in Ohio, you take what you can get!