Morning, LWL! There is frost on the lawn and roof this morning and a bunny scampered in front of me when I went out to get the paper. Ugh, several pepople have told me that this winter is predicted to be the coldest on record. Maybe if I look at it as a shopping opportunity (sweaters?) that will sound fun.
I had a good weekend- worked then did chores like madwoman on Saturday because on Sunday we went to visit my brother and his family who lives in Fort Lauderdale. Nope, didn't go to FL for the day; they are taking a mini-vacation from hurricane clean-up and no power, and staying at my other brother's house in Delaware while that borther is on vacation in Orlando :lol: Had a great visit.
Eating was on track- brother and sil eat very clean and organic due to food allergies and health issues. It just makes them feel better. Why can't we all remember that?
How are the Halloween challenges going? I did great on exercise (which is never my problem) but due to food incidents, the scale is exactly where is was when I started :( However, that's 2 pounds down from last week, so I'm back on track and headed in the right direction :dizzy:
Chest and spinning class today.
10-31-2005, 09:03 AM
Halloween challenge ok! Weekend could've been a little better, but was great compared to the previous week! Not sure about the scales, but I'm feeling heavy! Next WI on Nov 11th! We'll see what happens then!
Had a private kickboxing lesson on Saturday! Was GREAT! Loved it lots! I've got homework... Hmmmm! Feeling pooped just now! Have come over all sleepy! Getting back on track with my weights tonight, just have to carry it through to Weds and Fri! On a positive note... just doing Mondays (leg days) for a few weeks and skipping weds and fri, seems to have balanced out my body a bit. I think my legs are more in proportion!
Anyways, I'm going to have a rest till the end of lunch.
10-31-2005, 03:51 PM
I didn't even buy candy! Plan to be out, or have no lights visible from the front of the house. A single male friend of mine saves pennies all year and just lets the kids take a handful - much better for everyone. :lol:
2F - how did the in-laws meeting go?
My halloween challenge was up and down, kinda like my life these days! :) I was at the doc's on last Wed, and 5 lbs less than the gym scale. Don't know if that means I've lost, or that their scales are just different (same exact scale btw). I'm hoping to get to the gym tonight and I'll check it out. Have a vet appt for a sick cat at 4:30, and have to pass the gym to get home and leave her off, then back to the gym maybe. DH has a college class tonight so not in the equation.
11-01-2005, 05:00 AM
We didn't get any trick or treaters on the 9th flr!
The inlaws were ok, they got on ok I think. Nice food in the pub :D
Did my LB last night, off to kickboxing tonight :hyper:
11-01-2005, 07:50 AM
Despite my post above, I didn't stay out of the candy :p and was awake all night! Someone remind me again about sugar :dizzy:
I guess my Halloween challenge wasn't great. I don't do well on "challenges". Oh well. Just keep on plugging.
Today is Leg day, a little cardio and a lot of work. And trying to stay awake! :lol:
11-01-2005, 08:46 AM
I'm back again after some days at lower medication - The conclusion is that i am not ready for that yet. I lowered the meds because they give me a splitting headache and sore teeth and a dry mouth, but this was a HUGE mistake. Yes, the headache and the other symptoms vanished but NO i was not ready for the tiredness and general feelings of being down and emotionally unstable. So I'm back on, and with a splitting headache.
Apart from that the weekend was fairly OK, did a lot of household chores and attacked my garden with pruning shears. It is fairly big, 1400 sqm, and fully grown so I cut back the growth in a big way in part of the garden. I like it when i can see separate shrubs and such instead of one solid green wall. Of course XH always did the pruning, but always left plants bigger than I liked, so I took the opportunity of great weather to work of some frustrations.
Yesterday was a really bad day. XH and I went to the therapist to discuss the arrangements for the kids visiting him. It started off in a bad way by XH accusing me of being negative about him and this situation in front of the kids and asking me not to do this. When I said I felt attacked and got angry, he of course denied that he was accusing me at all, which made me even more angry. Then on to the arrangements for the kids. I had asked the kids and told what their plan was. They are 11 and 13 year old and I feel they have a big say in the matter because they will have the inconvenience of it. Of course XH had a different plan, and when I did not consent because I did not know what the kids opinion was, he persisted. This was so typical of a lot of situations in my marriage that I really went hopping mad, at which he assumed the attitude of "let her blow of steam this will pass", which made me so mad I had to cry. End result is that he will discuss the proposals with the kids. I will not take part because I get too angry at him and this will not be good for the kids I believe. I went away from that session crying, angry and frustrated, and later I have phoned him that his behaviour at the therapist is counterproductive. Of course he denied that he is even aware of willfully ignoring my anger and my arguments, but I told him that with this attitude he can count on a war-like divorce. Maybe a good topic for the next session with the therapist.
Today I went to work for the morning, and now I am tired and have a headache. I will go and lie down for a while before I fetch my daughter from school. Tomorrow XH wil pick up the kids to discuss the visiting arrangements.
Mel, 2F, Pat - it is good to hear you are all still around. Maybe cutting down shrubs in the garden fuming with anger and hauling the debris into the back of the yard counts as a special kind of cardio? I still have not come around to formal excercise. I did order a guided meditation CD at amazon and I am looking forward to getting it as a sort of non-food reward for living through the present ups and downs.
Have a great day,
11-01-2005, 09:28 AM
Rabbit, you go gal! Vent away! :D Jungle clearance counts as cardio! :cp:
Mel - you seem to have done the best out of all of us on the challenge! So :ziplip: mrs! ;) maybe you should tally it all up and rank us in order if you want to see how well you've done! :D
I'm treating myself to a mince pie. Ahem :o I'm ashamed of myself for not waiting till December! I'm a firm believer of not putting the tree up till about 19th Dec and not taking the decs down till 6th Jan. How did it all get so skewed? Since when did christmas start in September?? :?:
Recently I've been trying out new food! I've been notoriously fussy my whole life (I'm scared of peas), I tried tuna steak the other night :T and a few weeks ago I had a bite of mince pie... I think I shot myself in the foot there... How are they so yummy and I've never figured it out? I'm just going to have to keep telling myself they're nasty NASTY MINCE PIES!
Looking forward to working hard HARD HARDER in kickboxing tonight! I hope I get to do some sparring, I'm feeling deprived! :lol:
11-01-2005, 10:44 AM
Rabbit, I feel your pain. My crew are the same age as yours and XH and I have very different views also on visitation. I agree with you that the kids should have some input, and just like your XH, mines doesn't. Used to drive me bananas too. Now I've mellowed out and pretty much nothing he does phases me. I just mentality flip him the bird, and keep on going. You'll get there too.
Good job WaterRat on not buying candy. I did buy some for my crew, but none of it is chocolate or anything else that I would really crave.
Our cheer season is done, thank goodness. Neither my team, nor my daughters team placed this year. My team cheered too quietly and had that "deer in headlights" look. Most of them are first year cheerleaders so I wasn't disappointed in their performance. However, I was upset with my daughter's coach. She kept changing their routine up through the last night of practice. Then she had my daughter up EARLY on Saturday to help her teach some girls that didn't have the routine right. My daughter's competition hair appointment was set for Saturday evening at 6:30 PM. The hairstyle her coach picked was so complicated the hairdresser got WAY behind. My daughter didn't leave the salon until 3:30AM Sunday morning. She had to be back up, dressed and ready to compete at 7:30AM Sunday. The team looked confused, tired and their stunts looked haggard. I brought my baby home Sunday afternoon, she went to bed at 5PM and didn't get back up until Monday morning at 7:00AM. Hopefully her coach learned a valuable lesson.
At any rate, I am back in the saddle for getting my workouts in. Tae-Bo tonight. Weight lifting resumes tomorrow morning. Clean eats, clean eats and MORE clean eats.
11-01-2005, 12:45 PM
I am going to have UBW today. Had Day of rest yesterday, loaded with a bit on candies but was not really bad.
Rabbit - I think you are getting angry because you are still not ready for everything which is happening to you - your XH knew about his affair while you did not. He had time to prepare while you have to cooperate on something you were not ready to take on to start with. On the bright note, I lived thru my sister divorse and it was a war - they literally took a saw and divided one of the couches as he wanted to have it but it was my mothers present to her BEFORE the marriage - so she was against it. He started to move the couch and she took a saw and started to "divide" it. Anyways, they never could cooperate but what I learned on her example - the issues with the child became easier with years and actually in about 2 years he stopped coming at all and for 12 year his daughter never saw him. But it was very much war zone for the first year. I guess in your situation the time will be helpful, I hope you will be adjusting to the events around you...
I was fine with exercise last week but bad with food... Mainly because my mother is visiting us for 4 month and she is constantly blowing the beginning of the day away by doing something I am not used to. First thing which happend every day - she puts my mug, thermos, lunch bags every night in different places and I am lucky if it only takes me 10 min to find them. Of course I am late to work. Another thing is - she is constantly trying to make dinner - apart from the fact that she is terrible cook, she also manages to pick the food I really dislike but I have to eat it to give example to kids. I told her numerous times that she can do lunch for kids (and have problems convincing THEM to eat) and I will do dinner. However, every day I come back from work - another terrible dish is waiting for me. And everybody is hungry, as NOBODY likes her cooking. However when I prepared exellent dish during the weekend which EVERYBODY ate and loved, my Mom said - tastes bad! That was it! I try to tell myself that she lost her husband of 51 years recently and I have to be patient, but I guess I had enough - and she leaves in MARCH for God's sake!!! God, help me with that! The only thing which makes me feel better is that otherwise she will be nagging my niece who is pregnant now - so I am doing at least one good by keeping Mom away from my niece :) and her future baby!
11-02-2005, 03:34 AM
Tikanique, Sashenka - Thanks for your support. I realise that time will work to lessen the pain, and I am glad of that. Right now I still get extremely angry at the egoism of my XH.
Today will be another difficult day. I have a session with a counselor from work, which I do not know what to tell. More important, tonight XH will discuss visitation with the kids. At least this episode has made clear to me that XH does not think of the kids well-being, he only thinks of his needs and demands, and he is in this to win, not to cooperate. I have heard yesterday of a contact who knows a good divorce lawyer, and I think it is time to get in touch and get her address and phone number.
To cheer myself up I will try to go shopping for sinterklaas presents for the kids after I see the counselor from work. Sinterklaas is a dutch holiday, where the birthday of sinterklaas on december 5th is celebrated by gifts, that he supposedly leaves for the good children. Even in this circumstances the kids and I are going to celebrate sinterklaas with the 3 of us.
Sashenka, good luck with your mother staying with you. If she is staying so long, would it be an idea to introduce her to some other older ladies so she has some activities outside your house? It must be terrible having her along for so long !.
About the dinner:
Maybe cook one in the evening for the next day so she only can heat it ??? or invent a delicate stomach and you cannot eat whatever she cooks? Or just NOT give a good example for the kids and NOT eat it? The point is if you keep the peace you will be having this untill march. If you think you will explode before that, better to do it the soonest possible because that gives you the longest benefit.!
So it may be a good thing to have this out with your mom. Tell het to cook dinner only for herself. Come home, leave her dinner for her to eat as she wishes, cook your own dinner and eat it. And I think you are doing really well keeping up in these circumstances!
Have a great day,
11-02-2005, 04:51 AM
:wave: Hello laydees! I'm a busted up bunny today! I got whacked on the floor a few times last night and punched around a lot. All by the same guy. The other guys I was fighting with never hurt me. But this one guy is the only guy who intentionally injures me. He is a :censored:
Not bad food yesterday, including the mince pie! :o It's all good... Getting back on track.
11-02-2005, 07:39 AM
A quick post to tell you all that I've changed gymn again! This one is completely splendiferous and it will save me 15 mins in the morning. It is amazingly clean. It has a pool. And the man who showed me round is a self-confessed free weights guy. He's going to give me an induction tomorrow. I went for a swim this morning followed by some stretching in a 'spa pool'. I can see that this will pay for itself by keeping the body going over the wintertime. (My living and working conditions are, shall we say, not toasty warm and dry.)
2F - a mince pie????? That is very early indeed. Don't be taken in by these retailers, they just want your money. Do you see how they are introducing this Halloween business over here? It's to make more money for them. Oh, and remember, hydrogenated vegetable fat is bad, bad, bad. Make your own mincers if you want them that badly. (Just a idea.)
rabbit - excellent work in the jungle. Of course it's cardio! Good idea about the sinterklaas presents. That's the Boy's name day so we get our Christmas tree that day.
Oh Sashenka! Very good luck with your mother.
Tiki! Good to see you. What a crazy story about your daughter's hair. That's a very good point you make about clean eats.... I'll join you. It's one step at a time over here.
Mel - just to remind you: sugar doesn't suit you. It doesn't suit you at all. So don't eat it. Got that?
11-02-2005, 08:22 AM
Heh silverbirch! They were at work! I normally resist the danish pastries they buy, but I thought I'd have a mince pie! It was tasty, there's still 3 left but I won't be having another one! Your gym sounds like a dream!
Tiki, yes crazy hair story! I hate hairdressers as it is let alone being there till 3am! :yikes:
Going to talk to my kickboxing instructor about the NASTY MAN! maybe.. When I've got the guts! :rofl:
11-02-2005, 02:49 PM
AH, Rabbit and Sandy, hang in there. Both of you are in very stressful - if different - situations.
Back at the gym last evening, with a good UBWO and then some :tread: I don't think it was enough, however, so I'm going tonight again just to do some cardio. I got some sort of "catch" in my forearm muscle just below the elbow. Didn't hurt until I tried to do certain movements - like holding onto the handles of the elliptical, or lifting the dumbbell to put it back on the rack - weird. Seems okay this morning.
We are definitely into winter. It was 14 F here this morning, and very foggy. The fog freezes on the trees and dead grasses and is very pretty, but on the roads it is very slippery! Also we're now down to less than 8.5 hours of daylight, and with daylight savings, it's very dark when I leave work. You'll hear me complain about winter a lot - I am SO not a winter person. :lol:
11-02-2005, 03:46 PM
Pat, not a winter person... Yet you live in Alaska :chin: :lol: I hate the dark nights too! It was dark and wet and V windy on the way home tonight! :mad:
Oooh, I'm so proud of myself - I ran my first bit of couch to 5K. In the living room! I couldn't go out cos DF wasn't back and it's miserable outside so I decided stuff him I'll do it indoors! I was going to run up and down the corridors in our block of flats, but I figured I'd get stared at less if I did it in the living room!
Have a lovely day/evening laydees :D
11-03-2005, 08:37 AM
Pat, Silverbirch - thanks for the encouragement.
Yesterday the session with the counselor at work went OK. Also the visitation arrangements have been made without too much of a hassle. After the stressfull session at the therapist and the subsequent phonecall to my XH about the whole procedure, I wrote XH an email detailing that in rejecting the kids choice he is sending them a message that he is so egoistic that they don't count for him. That has made him think. We discussed matters yesterday when he came to pick up the kids, and of course he swears that he does not mean to make me upset and that he does not want to be uncooperative.
So I told him that I hear him say he wants to cooperate, but he is not acting like that, and that by his actions of the past 2 weeks there has been a detoriation in our relationship concerning the children. I also told him that if this continues, I do not see the point of staying with the no action time-out agreements, and that I'm getting a divorce lawyer. XH blenched at the thought, but I cannot rid myself of the impression that he (and his new love) may be busy with a carefull campaign to get me stressed out and of balance in order to further their interests in making the necessary arrangements. I am in no condition to to make decisions like that, so then a good divorce lawyer can represent me. We agreed to discuss his actions at the therapist next monday.
I already got name and address from a male colleague, who was flabbergasted by the nerve of this lawyer (she represented his wife) in his own divorce some years ago.
Well, no work tomorrow so I can sit back and try to relax into the weekend. maybe do some more jungle clearing, or clean the house, or finally work in the attic again.
have a great day all,
11-03-2005, 08:59 AM
Rabbit- I think you're right to get a lawyer. Mediators and counselors are fine when everything is amicable (but if it was so amicable, would there be a dicorce?), but it doesn't sound like XH is being all that amicable even if some of his actions are from not thinking of the consequences rather than maliciousness. You need to protect yourself and your kids!
2F- good for you for just doing it!
Hi Tiki- Great to see you back :wave:
SB- I'm jealous of your gym. Mine is decidedly not splendiferous!
Pat- the idea of someone who is not a winter person living in Alaska is kind of funny. I'm getting depressed thinking about it here in PA!
Today is cardio and back for me, and back on track with clean eats! The last couple of days have been horrendous. :p
11-03-2005, 09:08 AM
He he I like it that your lawyer is a man-scarer! That you got the name from a guy who was sued by him! :cb: Go gal!
I did my running last night! I did it I did it! Indoors - up and down the living room! I liked it, but I don't think I was running properly cause my quads didn't hurt like they usually do! My kickboxing class is cancelled tonight (both of them!!) so I am going to drag DF out for some running. He'd better come, he's managed to wheedle out of Monday and Wednesday so far! :rollpin:I also did my day 2 of the 3 day split last night for the first time in AGES! :D I might look at changing things round again - my arms don't really feel it any more, even though I'm maxing out with the weight!
I'm going to add some DB flys and front raises to my routine. Any other exciting upper body exercises I could try (I only have DBs and a BB @ home, no gym)? Going to try and master the push up in the next few weeks. :D
11-03-2005, 02:15 PM
Ah, Mel, it's that marriage thing that keeps me here. :rofl: And it is gorgeous here in the summer!
No weights last night, but I did go the gym for a much better cardio workout than Tues night. I have a dinner date with 2 GFs tonight, then a meeting. I'm planning to do a modified :strong: routine when I get home from that. Tomorrow night we're going to a slide show right after work (some acquaintances support a school in Nepal and they have visitors here from there), but it's supposed to be over in time to go to the gym after.
2F - you make that DF get out there with you. It's in his best interest to have you healthy!
Rabbit - Good for you getting a lawyer. You need someone is totally on your side alone!
11-04-2005, 03:54 AM
I'm up for a day of calm, rest and no upsetting things I hope. I am very tense at the moment, probabely from all the turmoil this week.
My daughter's class is trying out 2 secondary schools in the neighborhood yesterday and today. This entails that she has to bike to her present school without adult supervision. Luckily she can team up with 2 other girls from the village, but still it means waiting at a corner 1 km from home, and then biking 4 kms to the next village where they go to school. I gave her an old mobile phone, so at least she can phone if something goes wrong. For the rest I just have to sit it out and remember that I went through the same thing when my son started secondary school and had to bike the 5 kms on his own.
Thanks for your support regarding checking out lawyers. XH and I promised not to take steps in the time-out period, but I'm not so sure that this is not a deliberate action on his or his new loves part to smoke me out. On the positive side: I have the kids, the house and the car, so I'll be fine I just have to keep hanging in here. As my doctor says: it does not matter that you do things while crying, as long as you are doing them.
Tomorrow I'm taking my sons team to the field hockey game and XH is coming over to do some last chores in the garden. I hope this will not work out too stressfull.
Have a great day,
11-04-2005, 05:25 AM
:grouphug: rabbit, you're doing so well, give yourself a spa day ;)
We BOTH went running yesterday! :carrot: But he got tired after 10 mins. So we did half the planned routine thingy. I will be dragging him out again on Saturday!
Then we went home and I had to bake oatmeal & raisin cookies! :T My favourite! It's his birthday today so he's taking them all to work! I stole one for today and I ate one yesterday while it was still warm. now that's restraint! I would've eaten the whole bowl of mix before it got in the oven before my health kick! :D
Oh kickboxing was cancelled last night, that's why we went running! I enjoyed it, I felt I had got into my stride a bit and got the right rhythm although I don't like the lung-burning feeling you get. :dz:
11-04-2005, 07:05 AM
I am more than a little stunned by my new gymn. This area has precious few facilities of any kind, and almost none of any quality (natural resources such as mountains, sea, woodland, rain and grass aside). I had my induction session yesterday which turned into a 'build a programme for you' session (no extra cost) because I am so ... advanced. Um, yes. Well, I liked the guy; and I liked him even more when he told me I was fitter than he thought I'd be. (I didn't think too hard about that; just took it as a compliment!)
I've been swimming this morning - just to keep the joints moving, you understand. And now I'm at work, feeling pretty good. My plan is to go every day after taking the Boy to school. His school starts at 8:30 am so I can be at the gymn just as the early people leave for the office and before people come in after dropping off their children to start school at 9:00. Then I can go to work (I'm self-employed so I'm i/c my working hours). It's all about planning, isn't it? A whole new world is opening up. I'm thrilled.
Rabbit - you're doing so well; moving through your paces slowly and surely. I'm really proud of you. Have a relaxing day today, as much as you can. (By the way, I seem to remember reading somewhere that emotional turmoil produces horrible and nasty toxins in the body, and that crying is a brilliant way of getting rid of them. It made sense to me, at the time!)
2F - get your DF out pounding the streets with you. He's got to be fit. It's essential if he wants to keep up you!
Pat - you sound as though you're having a busy time. Good for you for fitting in the exercise.
Mel - just get a transfer to my new gymn! I'm sure they'd love to have you! Keep on track today - we're willing you on.
Are you there, Tiki?? Coo-ee!
11-06-2005, 05:41 PM
Hi all - just got back from Boston. Had a wonderful weekend and now needing a little "down time". Just wanted to let you all know I am "lurking" and slowly getting my strength back - more during the week.
Silver - I get Mel in my gym first, or you'd better make room for me on your couch!
rabbit - hang in there - you are doing a great job. Don't talk to your husband, but if you need to talk to someone, talk to the therapist, but get in touch with a lawyer. Take control of the future for you and your children. He has already decided (months ago, in fact) to leave this marriage. Don't you think he's already spoken with an attorney? Get your house in order and find someone to look after your best interests ... NOW