100 lb. Club - Having a really tough time!

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10-26-2005, 08:29 PM
Hi everybody,

189 is some kind of :devil: evil :devil: number for me or something...my mind is betraying me :(

189 is the lowest I've ever gone in any weight loss efforts before. I've just passed that. Somehow, each night since I've hit that number...the fat chick crazies hit me and the snackin' begins.

The weirdest thing happens in my head when I do this...I have an all-out battle with myself on the way to the fridge/cupboard. One part of me is saying "stop, you don't really want to do this...think about it" and the other part is saying "it's just tonight...go ahead...you've done so well!"
And my body just reaches for it and it's all over for the night :cry:

It's like I'm afraid to outdo my old accomplishments...or afraid because THIS is the point when I FAILED before.

There's just something frightening about this particular point in my weight-loss journey...I'm SO scared that I've lost my "CLICK", and I don't want that to happen.

Has this happened to any of you? What do I do now?

10-26-2005, 08:52 PM
I felt that last night, only because there was a box of Little Debbie's Oatmeal Cremes in the cupboard for my son. It's like, I obsess over them until they're gone! I only ate one, but knowing they were there also prompted me to drink a glass of apple cider to prevent eating a second. I guess it's better than my prior habits, which might include eating the entire box.

One thing that seems to help me is to get interested in many aspects of health/diet/fitness. If I get bored with my current regime, I start looking at other ways or philosophies of weight loss that others have used. I find my TOPS group to be incredibly helpful (and inexpensive), because I hold myself accountable each week.

Is there some other area of your life you can vamp up, which will give you something positive to focus on instead of food? Look for a different job, reinvent the den as a meditation room or something, etc.? Just throwing ideas out there ... I'm only down 13 pounds, so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. :D

10-26-2005, 11:40 PM
Sorry I can't relate to your particular challenge. What I do know is that everyone seems to go through ups and downs. What if you stayed off the scale for awhile and focused on the NSVs? A few folks have suggested the small changes approach and it seems to be working for me to get back on track. Also, you ARE doing so well. A slip or two is ok as long as that's all they are right? Forgive, forget and move on. Good luck. Sorry I don't have more insight for you. How about a hug? :grouphug:

10-26-2005, 11:50 PM
Hi Linda,

I am also stuck at 189 so I am going to refocus and try to jump start my efforts again.

But to leave you with a positive thought: last night I discovered one really great thing about being 189. I have an engagement party and a wedding to go to this month so I went out looking for outfits. It has been quite a while since I have been shopping.(never one of my favorite activities)

I went to a store we have called The Avenue. I am so used to automatically pulling their biggest sizes and taking them to the dressing room (with my fingers crossed that I can fit into their largest size).

Last night I had to keep going back and bringing in smaller sizes. I finally got a 14/16 and could not believe it when it FIT :carrot:

If that was not exciting enough as I was leaving the store I saw a big sign outside saying they have sizes 14-24. It hit me that after so many years of getting their biggest size that I am now down to their smallest size.

So don't feel so bad about being 189 !!!! You are probably in a plateau like me, if we just give it some extra effort we can start going down again.

P.S. Linda, You have the added bonus of being 189 and having that FACE !!!

10-27-2005, 02:18 AM
Linda - Hey girl! I have a mental block on losing ANY weight, I can sort of relate. How do you get past it? I don't know, I try to focus on other things, like not eating bread, quitting sugar. You are doing too good to stop at 189, well you've gotten to 188. Think about getting fit to keep up with the hubby, play mind tricks on yourself.. Thats all the advice I've got, but I am always here to listen (if you yell REALLY loud I might even hear you ;) ). Stay strong!


10-27-2005, 09:40 AM
Linda, I hear you! The age old question on how to get that motivation back once you lose it and stop yourself from falling too far off the wagon. I myself am hanging in there by my fingernails ;) . It is like your body goes into self sabotage mode. All the good habits go right out the window. What you were able to resist before, you would now have to be chained to the bed to stop yourself from finishing off the cookie box. :cookie: :cookie: But how to get back on track? Honestly if I knew the secret ingredient I would bottle and sell it and make my fortune *sigh* However, in the real world there are a couple of things that I have done (and am doing) that has helped me. If you have not been jounalling your food, start to write down every mouthful you eat. If you are going to reach for that cookie, wait and see if you still want 15 minutes later. It may be that you need to maintain for awhile before getting back on plan. Change up what you are eating, maybe mentally you are bored with the food you are eating every day. Hang in there, it will get better and I send a big :grouphug: and lots of good vibes to the west coast! :goodvibes

10-27-2005, 11:41 AM
I hit mine at 250 and didn't get over it, instead opting to gain 25 pounds back. :( You might try to tell yourself you want to give maintenance a try, I know many who've plateaued like that did and after a couple of weeks the scale started moving. It is a different mindset to just maintain and not have the worry of losing more weight.

I hope others have some better advice for you.

10-27-2005, 12:07 PM
The exact thing has happened to me a few of times. I remember the first time that I realized I was doing it to myself was a real eye opener. But, that was the key - I realized what was going on. It will take some effort to figure out how to get past this point but I think you've made the biggest stride just by recognizing that you have some sort of mental block at this stage. You can't get past any obstacle if you don't acknowledge it and you've already done that so I am sure you are well on your way, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

10-27-2005, 01:11 PM
My weight loss has slowed way down also. I know part of it is because I've allowed more treats on the weekend. I don't know what to say to get you going again but I do know you can't give up. I'm not giving up either. This week I'm going to cut my calories back by 200 more a day and see if that helps. Your thinking about it so that's good. Now just make out a plan for the week and stick to it. You can do this.

10-27-2005, 01:20 PM
For a little extra motivation, try buying a book on nutrition or even just a good book that you want to read for enjoyment..then when those urges hit, try to read a couple chapters (or pages if needed). I know I have managed to stay REAL motivated and the lower my scale goes I seem to be gaining motivational steam..but I am going to go buy a few books on nutrition next time I go shopping that way what I am doing becomes a healthy lifestyle change, and not just a temporary way to "loose weight".

Good luck to you, I know each day when I do my dishes I have to look at a clear glass container full of chocolate chip creme cookies..and they are SOOO tempting. I havent even noticed them lately.

10-27-2005, 02:13 PM
189 is the lowest I've ever gone in any weight loss efforts before. I've just passed that. Somehow, each night since I've hit that number...the fat chick crazies hit me and the snackin' begins.

The weirdest thing happens in my head when I do this...I have an all-out battle with myself on the way to the fridge/cupboard. One part of me is saying "stop, you don't really want to do this...think about it" and the other part is saying "it's just tonight...go ahead...you've done so well!"
And my body just reaches for it and it's all over for the night :cry:

well, I've certainly had that head battle many, many times!! I can tell you my experiences and you can take whatever may apply/work for you. When I'm doing that--reaching for the fridge, knowing it's a mistake--it's usually because I have something else going on, stress and anxiety usually.

two things come immediately to mind: I need to find activities to relax myself besides eating (a walk, a tv show, listening to music, etc.). A quick trick is to give myself a short list of stuff to do before I have that food, that way I will most likely distract myself and forget about eating.

I do find that I need to take a little time to get used to being a certain weight. Maybe you need to give yourself a little time to mentally get used to your weight.

I saw your before and after pics, wowsers!! The thing that really caught my eye was how much happier you looked the after shot. I mean, it was significantly happier. Congratulations :) Don't worry, I'm sure you'll work through this.

10-27-2005, 03:09 PM
I'm SO scared that I've lost my "CLICK", and I don't want that to happen.I'm right there with you, Linda. Perhaps that not so surprising considering we both started this at the same time. My scale hasn't registered any change the last few weeks, but that isn't what concerns me. It's my altered attitude that's been the worry. I haven't been as vigilant about sticking within my food plan, and I've slacked off on exercise a bit too.

This is pretty much how I'd like to be much later on when I'm maintaining for good--still making healthy choices the vast majority of the time--but right now I'm only halfway to goal, and feel it's hit far too soon.

Anyway, this is my analysis of my situation. YMMV, of course.

I'm sure my new-found complacency stems from how much better I feel about myself, both mentally and in terms of how I look.** Even though I'm still obese, and still have plenty of psychological issues, I've reached a point where, for the first time in years, I actually like myself. In short, my misery and fatness are no longer intertwined. That's a huge thing for me, and I find it somewhat overwhelming.

What I've decided to do is just go with the flow until my brain properly catches up with my body. That said, I'm absolutely not abandoning my new habits (it's not a diet I'm either on or off, right?), and I'm not going to stop weighing myself or measuring out my portions, but I'm also not going to be quite as rigid as I have been. Reaching a healthy size and body mass remains my goal, and I know I'll get there. :yes:

I hope you're able to identify what your block is and find ways to deal with it. :grouphug:

**Heh, I've just spotted that dragonwoman64 has put this much more succinctly than I. :lol:
I do find that I need to take a little time to get used to being a certain weight. Maybe you need to give yourself a little time to mentally get used to your weight.

10-27-2005, 03:25 PM
Something that helped me a lot was finally figuring out that it was okay not to give in to my spoiled little inner fat girl child, who was really just throwing a temper tantrum at the unfairness of not being able to eat what I wanted like "normal" people do. This head stuff is such a bummer, it'll trip you up every time, especially when it's least expected. You're at a place where you're venturing into some pretty uncertain territory, and frankly, it can be downright scary! Being scared and uncertain is okay, sure, it's uncomfortable, but you will make it through. Allowing yourself to resort back to bad old habits in an attempt to not have to face the uncertainty is the ultimate self-sabotage, and will do nothing but continue the same destructive cycle that got you here in the first place. It may just be a matter of staunchly recommitting to the healthier lifestyle you've been doing so fabulously with so far. Setting some boundaries for yourself to live by, and vowing not to break them. You've got to hold yourself accountable because you are the one in charge here, not that insolent little inner fat girl who just wants a damn cookie 'cause she knows that's what has always made her feel better in the past. You can do this Linda, just take a hold of yourself and expect nothing less than the very best you have to offer, it's the least you deserve. Good luck!!


10-27-2005, 06:57 PM
Everyone else has had fabulous things to say. I can so relate to where you are now, I am stuck stuck stuck at 209. Been here for a while now, months in fact. I'm just letting myself enjoy my size at the moment, and let my brain catch up, just as Dragonwoman (Marge) has said.

I'm still committed to my healthy lifestyle, but I'm not sweating it (except at the gym) and I am treating myself this month with a shopping trip and really celebrate how far I have come this year.

10-27-2005, 10:39 PM
Thank You

Thank You

Thank You

I have much more to say...and individual replies to make, but right now the kids are just getting to bed and I'm short on time.

I just wanted to quickly say how much I love you guys.
Still struggling, but it WILL be OK. ;)


10-27-2005, 11:04 PM
Hi Linda!
Boy your struggle does hit home... BIG TIME!
I can lose weight easily enough, but I hit a weight then just bounce back! I get really down in the dumps and angry so go and lose it again.. then bingo its back!
Try to maintain, until you can work out how you feel!
My goal this time around it to find control, not to lose weight!
I have the problem where I know there is something in my pantry I really want! (but was bought for the kids) and I cannot get rid of the feeling until they are all eaten! Or I see and ad on tv! It will hang in my head until I get it, but then that starts the thought "well I've eaten this, might as well go eat everything else" and one treat for a day, ends up a weeks treat.. then a month... until I scream STOP!

The thing that is helping me now it to think on what it was like when I was around 300 pounds! i never bought clothes! Had to stick to the 2 or 3 things I only owned, hated getting dressed, hated going out, hated anything! was housebound because I hated myself that much, couldn't take the kids out, or swimming, couldn't fit in cinema seats, felt horrible when I went out to eat so I always bought drive through, WAS JUST TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL OF MYSELF! The self hate was Amazing! I just wanted to find a dark corner stick myself in it and pretend the world did not exist.

So when I feel the need to go reach into the cupboard and throw my plans smashing to the ground, I then think. DO I really want to go back to the days of being a blimp!

But I need to find the control in myself where i can say "yes I will have some chocolate. NOT ALL OF IT!" this is still a work in progress. Each time I show restraint and walk away only having eaten 1 serve, I then try to give myself a HUGE pat on the back! and think on how Wonderful and controlled I was. This also seems to be helping me. Postive thinking.

If you fall off the wagon now! you will only be back feeling worse in the future, Try to maintain you have done SOOOOO well!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Start writing down a food journel, and give yourself a reasonable amount of calories to follow so you can have some treats, but don't let yourself give up!