Alternachicks - Glbt?

View Full Version : Glbt?

10-24-2005, 04:07 AM
Just wondering if there's anyone else who's "out" and doesn't mind sharing and all.

Goddess Jessica
10-24-2005, 10:31 PM
I'm out. I'm a bisexual and in a LT relationship with my boyfriend, AB. We have a real closed-minded LBGT community out here so I don't really participate much. Typical, "There is no such thing as bi" attitude.

10-25-2005, 12:34 AM
glbt friendly. considered myself bi since high-school - wound up marrying a man which while surprised at the time - I am very happy about :) I remember the feeling of not quite fitting in highschool when i first came out. lost some straight friends. my gay friends were supportive but I think there is always a feeling of - pick one.
I just felt like I would never not be with someone because of their race or culture - so why would I hinder myself to one gender? I mean, it's hard enough to find someone to love and make it work with - why cut out so much of the world based on that?

10-25-2005, 10:33 PM
glbt friendly <- I am going with that too. I am straight, but one of my dear, sweet friends (and on going joke of "pretend boyfriend") is gay. Even went to NYC for Gay Pride Weekend 2 years ago - which was a blast, even if all the cute boys had no interest in me. But he moved, so I don't get to see him very often.

10-25-2005, 11:49 PM
I consider myself lesbian, however, I am married to a great guy! I think I always knew I was different than the other girls I was friends with. I remember even as a young child when I was old enough to fantasize , it was usually about woman. However, coming from a very conservative family and not wanting to stir anything up I took the so called "proper" route and dated and eventually married a truely great guy. It just turned out his fantasy and mine were the same. He wanted to see me with a woman and I was very happy to abligue. I have dated a few woman, but now have one whom I am very happy to call my girl. My hubby is so great about it, knowing that I am also in love with her. Unfortunately we do not get to spend as much time together as we would like, but for now it works for us, and I only drive myself crazy thinking of how it could be. I get to have my cake and eat it too. Very lucky girl am I!

10-26-2005, 01:14 PM
That's really awesome that you have a husband so supportive.

..I was really scared that no one was going to respond.

I'm bi as well, I've known I was "different" since I was a kid.

Goddess Jessica
10-27-2005, 03:25 AM

How interesting! I'm doing a documentary about polyamory right now.


Sorry I didn't respond sooner. The above documentary is sucking the life blood out of me right now. I swear I thought I wanted to be a filmmaker but now I'm starting to change my mind. Are you in a relationship now?

sine nomine
11-01-2005, 07:05 PM
i'm bi. i'm married to a poly guy, and i'm vaguely poly. i say vaguely because i have a lot of jealousy issues with it. he started seeing someone last may, and after a lot of drama it turned out to be okay. then she and i developed a mutual crush and i started seeing her too. this is even more complicated because she's part of a triad and her boyfriend had a meltdown in late june. so at the moment she and i are building a relationship and she and chris are building a relationship and when her boyfriend (who also has a girlfriend outside the triad) gets his head out, we'll move on. so yeah, it's complicated -- she ends up in two triads, a primary one (her boyfriend and his wife) and a secondary one (my husband and me). even though her boyfriend has a girlfriend outside the triad, the three of them consider themselve to be in a commitment that's equivalent to them all being married to each other.

i said it was complicated.

i'm lucky, though. both of my sweeties are extremely supportive of me being whatever size i am. they both tell me i'm pretty even though i don't think they're right, and they give me lots of affection and cuddles and love. they know that i'm going to do optifast (my husband's paying for what insurance doesn't cover) and they support me in that, too. i've also got a group of friends that i've known for more than a decade who are behind me in this.

so yeah, i'm bi. it only took me six zillion words to say that. :)


11-02-2005, 06:52 PM
OK- yes I was evesdropping and now I have a question - GLBT? What does that stand for? Big dork that I am.

I have to say I am jealous of all of you that get your cake etc. I am apparently straight though have gotten many offers from women. Being the jealous type - I have avoided the 3 some for fear that #3 and hubby will prefer each other without me. That would suck! But I am curious to the point that once I reach my goal weight - so that self esteem is highest thereby reducing the jealous factor - I just may broch the topic. I am sure hubby wouldnt mind the 2 on 1 or even just watching - of course it would be just sex since it is all I can do to keep 1 relationship going. Beside hubby would be jealous of me spending time with #3 without him. And #3 has to be female for his sake.

Ultimate fantasy includes Hubby's best friend and his wife in a nice 4 some. I know she is willing. I could live with them and the 4 of us would make a nice family, too bad she wont leave her actual family - I know he would love it here.

Blah Blah - that was at least a dime.


11-03-2005, 04:43 PM

How interesting! I'm doing a documentary about polyamory right now.

Jessica - I have a question for you. In my experiences with friends/acquaintances who said they were polyamorous, it was typically an *excuse* to allow the man in the relationship to 1) have two girlfriends, and 2) watch his girlfriends have sex. I personally have never seen a polyamorous relationship with 2 men and 1 woman. Even where the situation is 2 couples (M/F and M/F) it was always the M's engaging in activity with the F's and the F's engaging in activity with each other.

In your experiences, have you come across many, or any polyamorous relationships where the dynamic included more men than women? Or where the men were comfortable with same gender relationships within their group dynamic?

I am really not trying to say anything bad about anyone's realtionships, and I apologize if I am coming across in the wrong manner. My experiences are certainly not a broad representative view, and may very well have been different from what the rest of you have been a part of.

Goddess Jessica
11-03-2005, 08:04 PM
Currently, I have interviewed two groups where there are more men than women.

My first group is a Primary Relationship (or a Vee) between a M & F that are married (for 8 years). She has a secondary relationship with a M for the last 3 years. He has had several secondary relationships but nothing that has lasted very long. Her secondary does not live with them.

My second group is another Primary Relationship between a M & F and she has a secondary relationship with a Male. The Primary M has recently become part of a triad (MFF) but still maintains a primary relationship with her. She hopes to move the triad into a quad but it's a very new relationship now.

I also had a group of 2F & 2M and a mess of kids. The women were not bisexual (to my suprise) but the men were.

I think that it's true that you will find more MFF relationships than MMF. My personal belief is not that it's because of the man that these relationships happen but because women are more able to cope with jealousy and expression of feelings to make it work and men are more possesive and would rather make it work with just one other person. Of course, I could be wrong.

The women that I've interviewed so far have been amazing. Years ago, I met one poly family where the women were clearly in love with this one man and they would just do anything to be with him. It wasn't a pleasant situation to see. However, the women who I have met as part of this project and strong and outgoing and usually the driving force in the decision to be poly. My favorite is a poly woman who is a lesbian, so she had a triad of FFF, one of her partners is bi has a secondary relationship with a man. She's happy because it makes her partner happy.

11-04-2005, 12:24 PM
Thank you for your response. It is nice to see that many of these relationships are not all about a man having the power and the women just trying to please. I see what you are saying about maybe women being more able to express/deal with emotions and feelings and perhaps not being as possessive as men might be.

Good luck with your documentary!

11-04-2005, 09:30 PM
It's so wonderful to see such diversity on the board, and such support.
I'm sure that there's board members with views that are contrary and/or not supportive of the glbt (gay, lesbian, bi, trans*) people... the fact that there's no one on here saying that we're all going to **** blah blah blah is amazing.
On no other message board have I seen this amount of respect.

Kudos to all of you. ;) *sends out happy vibes to everyone*

11-05-2005, 11:39 AM
It is either because we are just so awesome - wink ;) - or it may be because as women we get enough grief and as overweight women we understand prejudice as well as any group.

I think we are just awesome. :carrot:

Besides - who would frequent a thread called Alternachicks and not have an open mind? I am sure there are lurkers out there that would love to stir up trouble but then we would have to hunt them down. :devil: :lol:

Anyway - I am firm believer in live and let live - I am a big dork and no one seems to hold that against me - so why would I or anyone think themselves above another or think it is ok to chastise that which is not understood?

Those people are the ones that have a crispy future - not anyone I have met here.

Regardless of my being straight or not - I agree with the idea that gender is subjective to our society - that as pure energy beings - that I believe us to be outside the confines of humanity - there is no gender - and the concept of pairs being the only acceptable relationship is also subjective - for if you are happy and the rest of your family is happy and no one is excluded or treated as less than a full partner - that is awesome - not to mention hard to find - so you are all very lucky to have what you have. (It is all I can do to keep 1 happy let alone 2 so you go girls!) :D


11-06-2005, 01:58 PM
I tell people I'm a lesbian, but only from the waist up! lol.....I don't much have any interest in doing anything below the waist but I do think that breasts are just great & I have kissed a few women & enjoyed it. I've kissed one or two who kiss the way I always thought women would kiss (sort of weak, wimpy & slobbery) and did not enjoy that at all! I guess I like women that kiss in a more Dominant or masculine sort of way if that makes sense? Not that I would ever let on that I did not like the way a friend kissed of course...and none of them are on this list or ever will be so thats not an issue. I do TRY to be polite. Anyways. I love my boyfriend madly but I do enjoy "looking" a bit & I'm very grateful that he does not mind as I've had some bf's who are SO threatened by that. I tried the Poly thing for awhile with someone that I was really into who said it was going to be Poly or nothing & in the end it did not work out. I admire people who can refrain from jealousy and are that good at time management but I sure can't do that. I find ONE relationship is hard enough to keep up with. Two? I have noticed that in my Poly friendships 3/4's of the ones around here seem to be quite unbalanced. As in, either the Primary or Secondary girl seems to be resentful about not getting adequate needs met. I've met one Quad so far where everyone truly seemed happy, in love & balanced. Other than that??? Oh yes, I tried a three some once when I was much younger. It used to be one of my favorite fantasies. Alas, that killed the fantasy. The man payed too much attention to me & his girlfriend got really ticked of, got out of bed & then sat on the floor smoking a cigarette. Then she started arguing with her husband wich of course ended the whole thing.
Anyways, I get a good laugh whenever I am out with my bf because if some hot chick walks by we both end up noticing & then we notice that we both were looking & immediately start laughing...its fun.

11-06-2005, 11:25 PM
Yes, it is fun checking out girls together!

11-13-2005, 12:25 PM
Just wondering if there's anyone else who's "out" and doesn't mind sharing and all.

There aren't very many of us here, but welcome.

I have found that that people on 3FC are kind, polite and supportive which was not my experience on another board. We are all here for one reason and that which we share trumps all of our differences.

I live in Los Angeles with my partner of 12 years. I have been struggling with weight issues since I left home at 16. A lot of this began as rebellion -- I grew up in a home where all meals were portion controlled. When my mother gained a pound over where she thought she ought to be she simply decided to lose that pound. Oy. Oh, by the way, I am adopted so I could not inherit that kind of discipline if I wanted to!

In any event, I love food, I love to cook and I am uncomfortable with strong emotions in any direction. What a set up to be overweight!

I have just returned to WW and to 3FC for the umpteenth time. But, I am highly motivated right now due to some health problems.

So I just wanted to introduce myself. I started on SBD so I still participate on that forum. However, I have real trouble with being honest about portion control so now I am a WW person with an emphasis on SBD friendly foods because I think it is the healthiest way to go.

See you around.

sine nomine
11-14-2005, 09:13 PM
about the poly thing...

it's not really about sex for me, and not about three-ways (none of those have happened yet, and i dunno if they ever will). well, okay, it is sort of about sex -- i think my girlie is hot -- but it's more about having someone i click with, who brings something new to my life. the relationships my husband i have with her are very different to each other. she and i spend a lot more time just hanging out or going places, for example.

i guess i see it this way: my relationship with my husband, c, is my primary relationship. unless something specific happens that means d needs my support right then and in a big way, he comes first. my relationship with d is secondary but not less real or less important. she is a good friend and someone who's very dear to me. i probably *love* love her, but i'm very cautious about using that word. then there's an almost third relationship where the three of us hang out and there's a different dynamic. that one's most challenging right now, because we're having to work out exactly how things go. i have to deal with occasional twinges of jealousy, and he has to deal with his own feelings sometimes.

her primary relationship is her family -- her boyfriend and his wife. the three of them have a very strong family unit and that's her main relationship. the relationships with me and c are secondary -- not less important exactly, but if there's a choice between what her family needs and what i need, her family would probably come first and after their needs were met, mine would be. that's as it should be.

so i have a solid marriage that makes me happy, and a wonderful girlfriend who makes my life richer. and it's especially cool because they both support me completely when it comes to the optifast thing (i've gotten the lab work done and once the results are in, i'll start). each of us is stronger because of the others.

i guess i'm saying that i didn't go looking for a secondary relationship because i thought it would be nice to have a girl to sleep with, too. it just sort of happened, and i'm very glad it did.

11-14-2005, 10:42 PM
Add me to the bisexual column! :high: (Now we just need a special club handshake, hehehe!)

Though as far as the falling in love bit, that has only been with one woman... so far! :D

Goddess Jessica
11-18-2005, 02:50 AM
Sarah! I haven't seen you in forever! Hello chica!

11-21-2005, 10:22 PM
Sarah! I haven't seen you in forever! Hello chica!

Hola, Goddessy One! ;)

I have been remiss in my 3FC scoping-out! I am in the process of getting ze pounds off, AGAIN, heheh! So, back in the saddle!

:carrot: Can you imagine a dozen of these getting juiced? :devil: I'm sick, I know.... :D

12-03-2005, 01:46 AM
I'm GLBT friendly. I classify myself as "sexual." Period.
Btw, my anniversary with my soul mate will be four years this Sunday. *grins*

12-08-2005, 01:44 PM
Hello! :wave: You can put me in the All-Lesbo-All-the-Time Pile. (It's a little pile, it seems! :lol: ) :D I'm a lesbian, 41 -- realized I was gay at 26 and never looked back. I've been with my partner in a monogamous relationship for almost 8 years.

As far as the moderators and forum owners coming in and busting up a homo/bi discussion, this just isn't that kind of place. My experience with 3FC is that respect is the recurrent theme -- and that includes respect for ALL members. It's one of the many things I so appreciate about this site and how it's managed. There's a great deal of diversity among the members, but the commonalities overide everything.

That said, I just love me some lezzies! ;) :devil:

12-08-2005, 02:02 PM
Besides - who would frequent a thread called Alternachicks and not have an open mind? I am sure there are lurkers out there that would love to stir up trouble but then we would have to hunt them down. :devil: :lol: Trish
For the record, everybody, I frequently talk about my partner over at the 100 lb. group, and I've received nothing but support and equal time. They've gone so far as to be incredibly supportive of Lorraine's health issues, also, -- not to mention, praising her for how wonderful she was throughout my cancer earlier this year. I'm telling you, it just has never been any issue whatsoever. (Goddessy Jessicaness knows this, since she's part of my family there! :goodvibes ) I will say that I was out right from my first breath there, and simply have never felt like I needed to hesitate to share my life openly -- but then that's how I live my life everywhere. I'm pretty uncompromising about this. Life is too short for such craziness, you know? :dizzy:

So I guess I want to say that my experience with acceptance has been not just here, at Alternachicks, but elsewhere on this site as well. I'm sure there are some folks who don't like it, but they seem to be staying mum on that topic.....which suits me just fine! :yes:

Big :grouphug: to this little Alternachickie group! :goodvibes

12-08-2005, 03:41 PM
Hello! :wave: You can put me in the All-Lesbo-All-the-Time Pile. (It's a little pile, it seems! :lol: )

I'm bi, but -- hey -- if there's a pile of lesbians somewhere, I want in! :devil: :D

12-08-2005, 04:32 PM
I'm bi, but -- hey -- if there's a pile of lesbians somewhere, I want in! :devil: :D
That's HILARIOUS!! :lol3:

12-08-2005, 05:02 PM
I don't fit into any of these catagories (although I do have some pretty vivid dreams :devil: ), but I truly believe in accepting people for who they are. The only people I tend to have a prejudice toward are drug addicts--I've tried to become more accepting of them, but I just can't.

:soap: I'm probably one of the few people here in the "Bible Belt" (Arkansas) that will openly admit to voting AGAINST the state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages. It chaps my hide that a grown person can't marry anyone they want--we're supposed to be living in the land of the free! :soap:

Non-heterosexual does not equal immoral or a-moral!!

12-08-2005, 05:09 PM
Originally Posted by MaggieShines
I'm bi, but -- hey -- if there's a pile of lesbians somewhere, I want in!

You know, I am straight but a pile of lesbians even sounds fun to me! (I guess hubby needs to start paying me more attention - LOL):devil: :D

Some days a pile of anything would be good. :p ;) but then he is gone alot.


12-08-2005, 06:28 PM
Some days a pile of anything would be good. :p ;) but then he is gone alot.

I know that feeling too well! :lol:

12-08-2005, 08:26 PM
OK, that's it then... CHICK PARTY AT TRISH'S! :grouphug: We'll ie around and do each other.... um, I mean... we'll lie around and do each other's makeup! What were you chicks thinking? Perverts! :devil:

OK, I have officially left the building. I think I need to eat something. This chubby, dancing marshmallow :dance: looks yummy.

12-08-2005, 09:59 PM

I've never posted in this section before. In fact, I've never seen this section before tonight. (haven't been on this site in a while) but I just wanted to chime in and say I am a lesbian. I have been w/ my parther for 3.5yrs. In fact this past September we just exchanged rings.


12-08-2005, 11:21 PM
Hi Kat, isn't the exchangement of rings just so meaningful? :) My partner and I did that in 2003, and we both found it so beautiful. My sweetie pulled my beautiful diamond ring out of layaway unbeknownst to me (it's almost 2 carats so we were paying for it in installments!) and surprised me with it at a surprise ceremony --- I was just so moved by all of it. I was like that cartoon character that squirts tears out of the corner of its eyes! :lol:

12-12-2005, 12:56 PM
Sarah, it is a beautiful gesture to exchange rings. I didn't realize how much it made my relationship feel validated until we had the rings on our fingers.


12-12-2005, 02:24 PM
Chick party for Christmas :grouphug: - just what I always wanted :devil: ;) !!

Rings are awesome - the never ending circle that represents life, love and all things eternal.

I havent had mine on in months thanks to dislocating a finger when catching a horse - now it has to be resized :( and I really miss it - it was the only jewelry I ever wore.

DH hasnt had his ring on in ages cause he keeps cracking the amethyst when working outside.

Oh well - :dance:
Yep he does edible.

01-13-2006, 01:51 PM
Hi All....My partner and I have been together for 9 years. She is a Saint. We exhanged rings at sunrise on a beach in Kaui 3 years ago...We had breakfast at the Princeville Hotel and marvelled at the most incredible rainbow over Hanalei Bay. I wouldn't trade a minute of the past 9 years for all the money in the world.

After a horrible 2005, we decided that this was the year for us. We have made a plan for wellness and are dedicated to making it happen.

I love forums because my job is so incredibly boring, it gives me something to do at my desk besides eat. I'm glad to be here and hope to speak to you all frequently.

01-13-2006, 02:24 PM
Hi Better Days!

Your committment ceremony sounds beautiful, my partner and I are going to get a cabin on a beach this spring and have a private ceremony as well.

Im sorry you had a bad year but look forward and stay strong

01-13-2006, 08:31 PM
Hi, everyone. I'm a lesbian. I've identified as bi since my teens, and came out as a lesbian back in September or so. I'm single and happy to stay that way for awhile, but I have a very active fantasy life. ;)

01-17-2006, 07:47 PM
BetterDays, we have made similar plans for this year. Here's to 2006!

I have lurked on these forums off and on for a while, and recently decided to get serious (again) about weight loss. I've always been impressed with the diversity I've noticed around here, but when I saw something about a pile of lesbians, I knew this must be the place for me!

I'm 30 and my partner and I have been together 3 years. We have exchanged rings and I agree that it is validating and beautiful. We are trying to have a baby and having some trouble with that, so that gives me extra motivation to lose the weight.

Hi everyone!

02-07-2006, 05:11 PM
I just found this site and this forum! I'm an "out" lesbian, my partner and I have been together nearly 2 years. We are both completely out to family, friends, work, etc. We are planning on having a commitment ceremony, we both wear sapphire and diamond engagment rings. We registered with the state as domestic partners in September!

We have decided not have pursue pregnancy to build our family but instead to adopt from the foster care system. Many of our friends have already done this very successfully. I would love to be pregnant, but given my history of PCOS and Endo it's unlikely. Shelley has no desire to be pregnant herself, especially at 40! :lol:

02-15-2006, 12:24 PM
Count me in!

I'm a lesbian and have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We have no kids but we do have two crazy little dogs.

Anyway, just wanted to say hello to everyone else!

03-09-2006, 02:48 PM
Been lookin' through this forum trying to find the "queers" on here cuz we all know "we're out there".

*jumpin' right in*

I'd say genderqueer is the label I prefer. Can't help but be "out". I currently live in San Francisco (surprise, surprise!) with my grrl and our 2 mutt babies...

Good to see some queer/lesbian presence on here. ;)


03-10-2006, 03:26 AM
Welcome Chubmeister! In my experience, this has been a fabulous supportive board -- and not just Alternachicks. I must admit that I need to drop in here at Alternachicks just to remind myself that there are people here other than mainstream bible following PTA soccer moms, but I have NEVER experienced anything except kindness and a warm welcome from the people in the other areas of 3FC.

We are all in this together! Welcome.

03-10-2006, 10:05 AM
I consider my self bisexual and very fluid in my sexuality.. I have been in lt relationships with both females and males. Right now I am working on a 4 year relationship with my bf.. We are engaged. I have never had a three some because of my jelousy and control issues (hey least I am honest.) But in high school I mostly dated girls. I love when people are open minded instead of being intolerant.. I had to really get on to some people in my human sexuality class because they were saying stuff like" I dont hate homosexuals I just do not agree with their lifestyle." I told them that is the same thing.. Just more pansy...

03-11-2006, 09:20 PM
I'm not a lesbian, but I am a gay guy :)

03-12-2006, 03:25 AM
To all...
:devil: Devils...
:angel: Angels...
:flame: Flamers...
:queen: Queens...
:wizard: Fairies...
:drill: Butches...
:cheer: Femmes...
:strong: Tough Guys...

:welcome: !!!

Of course, all the above are endearments! :) I mean, darlin', I spent Pride 2000 in SAN FRANCISCO! ;)

03-15-2006, 02:43 PM
I've never really considered myself Bi as I think everyone is inherently, some are just more open to it than others. I have dated and slept with males and females.

03-26-2006, 02:44 PM

Hi :D
I'm a lesbian in a mixed-orientation marriage. I ID'd as bi, virtually all my life. Being involved with both men and women... make a long story short...things have changed.
And boy is it interesting now.
Anyway...just saw the thread and thought I'd introduce myself.

03-27-2006, 11:53 AM
Hi ya'll! :wave:

I'm just a good ole' fashioned lesbian...:rofl: I was married (to a man) :rolleyes: when I was in my early 20's but after that ended, I knew I was a lesbian and have been happily out since that time. I've done all those horrible, desperate, depressing relationships since then :rollpin:. One of those lasted 7 years :crazy:. I then took 2 years off to recover and have since met Ms. Right. Michele and I met through She lived in Austin, I'm in Houston and about 2 months ago she moved here for moi. Life is wonderful. :cloud9:

I'm considering weight loss surgery and will most likely have the lap band procedure done in Mexico. I am finally safe enough to let go of the extra weight, just need an extra tool (the band) to help me along.

Glad ya'll are all here! :grouphug:

scout wife
03-28-2006, 12:03 PM
I consider myself straight, but I kiss girls. Kinda like the chick who says she's a lesbian from the waist up.. I love chick kisses and boobs. I say that I know where my preference lies, it's the standing up stuff that's up for discussion.
I've had 2 ffm3somes (once as the spouse *1st marriage* and once as the "guest star") and I have to say that I prefer keeping it fun, and playful to it being a sex thing. My hubby gets the occasional tripple kiss, and he knows that's all it's going to be. He thinks of himself as the luckiest guy on earth!
I love this part of being a woman...we can play and be whoever we are without judging each other!
Hugs to all!

03-28-2006, 06:35 PM
...Kinda like the chick who says she's a lesbian from the waist up.. I love chick kisses and boobs...

I'll take the whole enchilada! :devil:

Sorry, couldn't resist! :lol3:

05-07-2006, 11:31 PM
Bumping this thread to the top for those that requested! :D

05-08-2006, 12:17 AM
I'm a lesbian who has been with my partner for 5 and a half years - and as my bonus motivation for getting fit...we're planning a wedding in May 2007.

On that note - anyone have wedding planning tips? Its sort of a quagmire out there for the GLBT community...

05-13-2006, 09:34 AM
Thought i'd say hello on this thread too... i am a bi-girlie-girl, living in bliss with my girlfriend... uhh... boifriend... uh, whatever... She's a He in my mind and hers (his) <-- gosh is THAT confusing!! Anyways... We've been together almost 4 years and I've known her for 8... She was once my x-girlfriends girlfriend and my x-girlfriend was my best friend. <--- another confusing statement, I know.
Well... who knew that true love had been just waiting for me to notice! She's seen me at my thickest, my thinnest, my ugliest, my most sad... and she still loves me. She even saw me go through some really tough bi-polar times! LOL
Anyways-- I've always thought of a handfasting ceremony.

Optical Goddess
05-13-2006, 10:58 AM
Hey all,

It's surprising that this topic hasn't come up before, or at least that I know of...I'm straight, but would be open to experimentation ( is the word bi-curious?) I don't think it's a fluke that some of the most entertaining people on this site are g/l/b/t...with my gay / bi friends, I find that they are so much more open minded. I would venture to say it's because they may know what it's like to be judged more than I would, since my life style is more conventional.

What a wierd compliment, huh? I give mad props to anyone who is out. I can't imagine how hard that has to be...I had enough problems telling my mom that I was going to be living in sin w/ my husband...

The poly lifestyle is one that I don't understand, but more so that I don't think it's for me. Too many jealousy issues and other things, but if someone can find someone or someone(s) else, a soft place to fall, a constant champion in thier corner, I say good for them.

05-13-2006, 11:29 AM
Thought I'd jump in. I'm bi but married to a wonderful man and have 3 great kids. We check out women together and laugh about it and we watch porn together and stuff, but he doesn't want me to be with anybody else (even if it is another female). I've brought up the idea of 3some to him and he says ok one time, maybe another, and no way another so I guess you could say he's wishy washy on the issue. It gets frustrating because he knows this is a part of who I am, but it seems like it's a part he doesn't really want me to show. I have been with women in the past and been in love with a woman in the past it just didn't work out. He has told me in the past that he's worried that if I get with a woman and fall for her that he'll lose me because a woman can give me something he can't. THere's no way for him to compete with a woman. A man he could compete with but not a woman. Sooo anyway that's my story.

05-17-2006, 04:12 PM
Just needed to vent. Looking for wedding sites - there is one I like, but its in a fairly conservative area. Just had to write a "I'd really like to get married here but there are two brides" email, because i don't want to get there for a tour and figure out they aren't cool with it. But UGH, I'm freaking out. I feel so exposed and open to rejection. And I LOVE the location, its SOOO gorgeous, and I really want to get married there.

Its giving me fits.

05-22-2006, 02:41 PM
Hi all!!

I haven't been on this site in a VERY long time. I am a lesbian who's not in a relationship right now but I have a potential one in sight!!!

I claimed Bi for years but now I know that I wasn't being true to myself. :)

I gained back ALL the weight I lost and am starting from scratch! Granted it was only 30 pounds but that's alot to me.

I weigh 315 lbs right now. I'm 6 feet tall...well pretty close to it!!

I am looking to weigh about 150lbs. So .....165lbs to lose. Here I go.........

05-30-2006, 11:38 AM
Just needed to vent. Looking for wedding sites - there is one I like, but its in a fairly conservative area. Just had to write a "I'd really like to get married here but there are two brides" email, because i don't want to get there for a tour and figure out they aren't cool with it. But UGH, I'm freaking out. I feel so exposed and open to rejection. And I LOVE the location, its SOOO gorgeous, and I really want to get married there.

Its giving me fits.

I hope you can take the risk and ask. You might be surprised. I did the same thing back in 1994 and had a great wedding -- at a time when same gender weddings were not as common as they are now. It was funny, at first I felt as though the hotel was put off by the fact that we were two women. However, once we paid the deposit and they knew we were serious, they were FABULOUS. They just wanted to be sure we weren't "just looking" at the location.

Good luck and keep us posted.

06-08-2006, 12:55 PM
Lesbian. Queer. Homosexual. Gay. Call it what you want, but that's me! I came out at 18 and before that I didn't consider myself to be anything. Being from a small town, I didn't even know I had the option to like women. I had never even kissed anyone up until that point because I had no interest in guys, so I didn't bother with them EVER. Well, I've dated women the last 5-6 years, moved to Columbus, OH a few years ago (a pretty accepting place for our community), and I'm as out as I can possibly be! My family is accepting, except for my (ex)grandparents who have disowned me for the past 5 years (haven't talked to them for that long). I met my wonderful gf two years ago through a friend and I'm planning on keeping her around. It was hard at first, but now I have the whole "take me or leave me" perspective. It has really worked out well for me. Anyway, just thought I'd share.


06-08-2006, 04:30 PM
i'm in / at the tail-end (?) of a poly relationship (mff) that is going through a major transition. i started seeing a couple that had been together for 3 or 4 years-- we all 'dated' for about 2yrs and i started becoming less and less interested in maintaining a sexual relationship with the girl (guess i'm not as 'bi' as i thought:dizzy: !) which was fine for a while and then started getting awkward-- that was about 6mos ago and we're all still trying to get things figured out. they're in the process of getting separate apartments and so their relationship is undergoing a lot of change too-- i'm not really sure how the relationship(s) will be impacted. it can get pretty confusing trying to keep the dynamic straight sometimes! part of me really embraces the unconventionality of the relationship but another part of me sometimes wishes i could just have a 'normal' relationship with my boyfriend (whatever normal is).

-- anyone have any advice/strategies for interacting with families??? i sometimes feel like i have a 'secret' boyfriend since i'm sort of uneasy talking to my parents and certain friends about it-- the folks were introduced to him before we all started seeing each other and is thusly known as 'ms. x's boyfriend'-- likewise with his (and her-- though that's less of an issue considering how things are changing) family.

it's really nice to see so many people responding to this thread-- makes me feel less alone in the crazy world that is a poly relationship.

Vampiric Addiction
06-17-2006, 07:42 AM
Im new to 3FC, and im 18 and a lesbian.

Not currently in a relationship, but looking (lol). I called myself bi for a long time, (from about 13- 17) but realised that it wasnt the case when I was with my first girlfriend- the difference was unbelievable.

anyway... im rambling now, so i'll shut up! :)

07-04-2006, 01:26 AM
I have been with my lover for 20yrs now.

07-23-2006, 10:56 AM
Well. I am so happy I found you guys. I was being to think I was the only lesbian on this site! Everything the girls here and I talk about ends up being about a DH or DS or DD. Don't get me wrong, so far I have not run into any bible thumpers. So I have been in a realationship with my girlfriend for about 6yrs. I say about, because its not like we just met and that was that. We have two children, yes I am the birth mom. The birth dad is a jerk. He and I got together in High School, well before meeting my girlfriend and I thought we had an agreement. Funny how the agreement dissapated when I was doing better with girls then he was doing with guys. Anyhow, thats an old story. I was always overweight, and after having my DD I said enough is enough. Along with coming out with my sexuality, I came out with my need to be fit. Six years ago, I weighed 220, today I weigh 175. My lowest weight was 155, me being tall, it was not the best look for me. I have been accused of having an ED, maybe I do, maybe I don't. I do Weight Watchers and I do weigh myself everyday. I do fall off on the weekends, and I eat too much when I drink. Yesterday I popped two laxatives ( i did say i may have an ed!) and now the belly rumblings got me up early this morning. Anyway, I was 178 last night, and now the proud owner of 175. I try to journal, but sometimes I am too busy so I keep a running count in my head. I have a problem now. The problem is my sex life. My girlfriend was smaller than me when we met, now she is way larger, seemed as I lost, she gained. We almost never have sex, for a billion different reasons. I see one of the problems is her weight, she tires easily and gets frustrated. It bothers me alot. The other day, after workig on my tan, I showered, shaved, and lotioned and put on a white lacy top and strolled out the bathroom in all my glory. I said I have a surprise for you and she said, IS IT FOOD!? I dryly replied, why yes, did you think it would be sex?? Thing is, she broke up with me sometime ago and after I picked up my heart from the floor, I ended up with this amazing, artistic, pot smoking, dreaded woman, who DID ME IN WAYS THAT NO WOMAN OR MAN has EVER. Our relationship was mostly sexual so when my girl wanted back in, I had to let her go. God I miss the loving.

Wow. Long post!! If anyone wants to chat let me know. I promise I won't bore you with my undersexed, overeating, overexercising, life!!!

08-03-2006, 04:14 PM
Just wanted to say I am a straight ally for the GLBT community....some of my best friends are bent! (as in not straight--LOL)

08-04-2006, 06:27 PM
I guess I'm straight. I don't know, I don't label myself. I've been with a man for 16 years, but I've also been with a woman (yes, sexually) and my first kiss ever was from a girl. That and I have gay friends, two of my best friends are a gay couple, Brian and Josh. Great guys that love each other deeply and we have the best talks.

I don't really like to classify people, though. I mean... what's normal? Normal is in the eye of the beholder. Why put a label on yourself? If two people can love each other and/or make each other feel good, what difference does it make what sex they are? ;)

08-05-2006, 01:33 AM
Mine is definitely an "alternative" lifestyle. Here's my story.

I'm a lesbian first and foremost. There is one thing that I have always wanted and that's kids. My best friend is gay. And ever since I can remember he and I have always talked about having kids together. However, we want to have relationships with other people. So once I graduate with my nursing degree, we are moving out to southern california together and starting a family. It's what we both want and have talked about it for years. I am almost 30 years old and so is he. This definitely is not an impulse thing. We have planned this for a long time.

Our familes are VERY supportive of us. My mom always says, "Whatever makes you happy!! So hurry up and get me some grand babies! " LOL I still want a relationship with a woman however she would have to be accepting of what I am doing. I know that some people couldn't accept it and I understand that. But I believe that I will find the right one. I am kinda seeing someone now. And before we get any further I am going to tell her that these are my plans. I don't know how she will take it but I need to know before anything else can happen.

So, yeah, mine is definitley a different lifestyle. But it would be boring if everyone was the same!!!

08-05-2006, 12:01 PM
So, yeah, mine is definitley a different lifestyle. But it would be boring if everyone was the same!!!
I agree with your mom, whatever makes you happy. We only go around this crazy life one time, hon. As far as I know, anyway, lol.

I think that's really cool, if you guys can make it work. My friend Josh sometimes gets really down on himself because we'll sit and talk and he'll say, "Linda, I'll never be a father."

And it really hurts him. He loves kids and wants to be a daddy, but feels he never will be. And it's so trippy you posted about this because Josh will sometimes kid with me (although I don't think he's kidding entirely) and say, "Hey, you're my best friend and I love you, have my kids for me."

I love him and I would if I could, but there are just so many things to consider in a situation like that. He knows I could never do it because I have a man and a child of my own. But the thoughts have been there for him, so I can relate to how you feel as well.

I wish you all the best of luck :)

08-07-2006, 12:31 PM
I'm also glad to see that this thread is still going. Lovegoddess, although I am biased, I must say that Southern California is a great place to be for those of us who don't fit into the mainstream mold! It is a little bit tougher in the inland counties . . . I just saw a guy at a public mall with a very scary homophobic t-shirt. It really jolted me as I am not used to that in the LA area.

I've been with my partner for almost 13 years (just celebrated 12 year committment ceremony anniversary). No kids though, never had the "mommy gene" even when I was dating men. We do have a houseful of animals -- just adopted an abandoned puppy bringing the total to two dogs, a cat, 3 parrots and a tank of tropical fish.

Gotta run...let's keep this thread alive!

08-07-2006, 07:22 PM
I am really excited about it and very much looking forward to it. Just to get out of Ohio would be fabulous. I hate it here! The winters last for at least 6 months and its horrible!! I live with a gay couple. I love them to death. We have been friends for years. They are such sweet people. How anyone can be homophobic is beyond me!

08-07-2006, 09:12 PM
I am really excited about it and very much looking forward to it. Just to get out of Ohio would be fabulous. I hate it here! The winters last for at least 6 months and its horrible!! I live with a gay couple. I love them to death. We have been friends for years. They are such sweet people. How anyone can be homophobic is beyond me!
People are afraid of what they don't understand, sweetie. Rather than try and understand it, they bash it.

I live in Ohio too :)

08-08-2006, 10:28 AM
where in ohio are you from?? I live in Youngstown

08-08-2006, 11:45 AM
where in ohio are you from?? I live in Youngstown
Exciting Columbus, lol.

I hate it :mad:

08-18-2006, 07:26 AM
I am a lesbian. My gf and I have been together for just about (Sept 19th) 2 years. It's been and LDR because she is in Enlgand. We've been going back and forth visiting, but that will soon be over. In 3 months my daughter and I will be moving to England (because they are sssoooo much more accepting of same sex relationships in every legal sense of the term) to join gf! I actually joined 3fc I think around Jan 06, but have been away for a long time planning the move. I need to come back and get on track though because due to stress I've gained pretty much any weight I lost lol.

I have to say it's great to see other Lesibans, and so many GLBT friendly people on this board. I think it's wonderful.

08-19-2006, 09:24 PM
So are we starting a GLBT site on AlternataChicks?? I'm out and have been for a bout 7 years now. Was married for 20 years, met a wonderful woman online...husband found out and we split up. I have 2 children...26 yr. old daughter and a 19 year old son. Also I have 3 grand children ages 7, 4 & 1. Looks like I'm kind of busy huh?

I'm glad there are other lesbians out here...I have seen a couple around but no one seems out. I talk about my partner in my posts but some ppl get it some don't. Doesn't really matter to me...

It is good to find "family" here though...if we are starting a thread for us that's cool too!!!

08-20-2006, 12:47 PM
happy to meet you also......i have been with my girlfriend for 6yrs, we have 2 kids, 9yo boy and 6yo girl.

08-23-2006, 12:13 PM
interesting stories everyone!

08-29-2006, 12:23 AM
interesting stories everyone!
Hi Mike ;)