Weight Loss Support - Meanie Mom




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kaliannah
10-22-2005, 11:49 AM
I'm so glad 3fc has a support board! My mother - who by the way is 5', about 115 pounds if that and has NEVER has been overweight - called me a "lard but" this morning. Having been overweight for 10 years or so (the year my worst), I've been the recipient of many "weight" comments from her, but none were name calling. Maybe I'm taking it wrong, but it really hurt my feelings and I told her so. She didn't say anything. Nothing. No "I'm sorry" or "I didn't mean it like it sounded." Nothing. My mother lives with me and I was hoping for support rather than insults. Sigh. Perhaps I deserve it for letting my weight get out of control! Ugggg. I think I'll grab me a SF and walk it off.

:(


Yogini
10-22-2005, 12:24 PM
Wow. What a cruel thing for her to say. I have nothing but support to offer and so I say that resorting to childish behavior such as name calling is an accurate reflection of her state of mind and emotional maturity.

happydaisy
10-22-2005, 12:36 PM
Don't ever think that you deserve to be insulted. Your weight is only a small piece of what you are and you don't "deserve" to feel bad about yourself because of it. You're here, you're working on it. Be proud of that! :cb:


mom2fivesweeties
10-22-2005, 12:43 PM
Hi Kaliannah,

I was adopted as a baby and I have always been so much bigger than my adoptive family. I am 5'6" tall, big boned (I look emaciated at 150 lbs.) and I started this diet at 315.8 pounds. I've lost around 15 pounds so far and can actually tell! My mom used to criticize my weight from little on up - so did her aunts - everytime they saw me, it was, "Omigosh, you've gotten fatter." SIGH - it's so difficult - when I was a child and in high school, I was NOT fat, just a big girl. Well, I was told so often I was fat, that I became fat - it happens. For some reason, when I got pregnant back in 1985, she stopped criticizing and hasn't since - in fact, she gave me $700.00 to join LAWL - don't know what changed - but I DO understand - God Bless you and just know you CAN do this!

AnnieFannie
10-22-2005, 12:49 PM
Wow. That wasn't a very nice thing to say. You definitely don't deserve to be insulted. You just need to keep up the good work. My ex husband used to call me names and tell me I couldn't do it. He thought it was motivation to prove him wrong. It hurts. Whether its teasing or just being mean. It hurts no matter how it is meant. Just keep believing in yourself. You can do it.

penpal
10-22-2005, 12:50 PM
I will direct your steps. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

When our feeings are hurt it's so tempting to turn to food for comfort. Don't let your mother's thoughtless remark take you off track. Perhaps she wants to undermine your weightloss efforts for some reason, but that is her problem. Your above quote says it all. You can do it! :df:

Zapphire
10-22-2005, 01:19 PM
That's terrible. :( I'm always getting called fat too.It hurts.But look,when you start losing weight,you'll show her and everyone that hurt you.One thing I like to do,is to think of those comments as motivating.Now,I'm not saying that it doesn't hurt me,because it really does.But if you can,use your anger to get more motivated,instead of turning to food.

andreaphilip3
10-22-2005, 01:23 PM
maybe shes embarassed she hurt you?

timmyshawn
10-22-2005, 02:18 PM
honey I know it hurt, but whatever prompted her to say such an awful thing to you is her problem to deal with not yours. She obviously has issues that she needs to get over. You should just keep working at this and eventually she'll have to eat those words cause you'll be healthy and fit and she'll just be guilty of being mean.

chick_in_the_hat
10-22-2005, 02:40 PM
honey I know it hurt, but whatever prompted her to say such an awful thing to you is her problem to deal with not yours. She obviously has issues that she needs to get over. You should just keep working at this and eventually she'll have to eat those words cause you'll be healthy and fit and she'll just be guilty of being mean.

timmyshawn said it all.... :grouphug:

Walking it off is a great release...you CAN do it, girlfriend!!!

Kellifornia
10-22-2005, 02:49 PM
Maybe she is jealous and wishes she was younger again. Maybe she's just having a bad hair day. Maybe it was a really crude way to try to motivate you. But regardless, it was an awful thing for an adult to say, who "should" know better and I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this.

marbleflys
10-22-2005, 03:12 PM
Tell her you that you expect an APOLOGY for such a thoughtless remark. Ask her WHY she would say such an unkind thing to her child?

Then let it go, you've made your point....you can't control what comes out of anyone's mouth, but you can defend yourself and not be her doormat.

Do you feel that you have to live up to Mom's expectations? Is she older and lives with you, or are you still living in her house? either way, she should give you support not verbal abuse.