Weight Loss Support - Afraid I will not be happy at GW




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colsnanny
09-27-2005, 09:29 PM
I don't know if anyone else is feeling this way but I am so worried that I will not be happy at my GW. I am getting close but I still am doing worse with my self esteem and emotions than before I tried to lose weight. I was fine with my size and weight for a long time. I think I had learned to accept it. I am just so worried that no matter what I weigh I well not be happy. Does anyone else feel this way??


happydaisy
09-27-2005, 09:35 PM
Yep, I worry about that. I know when I did this the first time I was very much not satisfied. I got within 2 pounds of my goal weight and then blew it all the way back up. So this time I'm taking it slower and working on the emotional side of things too, or at least attempting to. I haven't necessarily had the "breaththrough" or whatever that will give me the answer. I'm hoping to find what that is here.

aphil
09-27-2005, 09:57 PM
What I think is important to remember is that self esteem and happiness all throughout our lives will not magically appear once we fit into a size 5, or weigh 125 pounds. (or whatever our goal weight or size happens to be.) If you are not happy and self confident at 140, then you aren't going to be happy all of a sudden when you hit 130. It just isn't the way it works.
Self esteem and happiness comes from within. :)

BUT-this does not mean that you should sabotoge yourself, or forget your eating/exercise regime because you aren't going to all of a sudden be self confident, or have a dream life at your goal weight. Your goal weight is a big achievment, and it is something to really be proud of, but it doesn't change everything in your life.

Being healthier and more fit DOES do a lot of things though-so when you feel the sabotoge monster telling you "What's the point?" think about your health, your well being, and your fitness. Think about extending your life, and being more energetic for your family and friends.

I think it is important for self esteem and self worth to have something in your life that is "yours". If you have an interest, a hobby, or something that you are good at or enjoy, then DO it. Take time and do something regularly just for yourself. When you love yourself enough to take that painting class that you always wanted to, take those line dancing lessons, read that novel that you had been wanting to, or attending that adult French class in your area you are doing something that is for YOU. Everyone has an interest, or a talent, or something that they want/like to do.

When I married and had my children, I went from taking care of myself to taking care of them, and for a few years I forgot about ME. It really did a number on my self esteem. I had nothing for me-I lived my life for everyone else. When my youngest was around 8 months old, I said "enough!" I started taking dance lessons once a week, I started taking a long scented bubble bath once or twice a week when the kids went to bed instead of a quick shower-and I started exercising regularly when my baby napped. I started taking the time to do things for myself, and I started feeling better about myself because of it.

You are doing the right thing by doing what you can to get healthy and more fit, but it isn't instant happiness when you reach goal. As far as the actual weight goals, loss is the easier part of it all-keeping it off for life is the hardest part.
My advice is to live your life and create your own happiness by being true to yourself, and doing things for yourself, and not expecting happiness to come from reaching a weight or certain size.

Good luck,
Aphil


Mel
09-28-2005, 09:42 AM
Aphil's right...happiness or unhappiness doesn't come from a number. I feel better and look better at goal than I did four years ago, but I'm still the same me. The things that made me angry still make me angry. The things that I don't like about myself are still there, minus the fat.

But it's sooooo worth it. Being able to move easily, knowling that I have and can continue to succeed at this, shopping for clothes in which I know I look good, knowing that I'm doing everything I possibly can to live a healthier life.... It's all worth it!

Mel

jillybean720
09-28-2005, 11:02 AM
Just as a little expansion on what aphil and Mel have already mentioned--I am NOWHERE near goal, but in being obese for pretty much my entire life, I can say that we (or at least I have noticed this of myself and those close to me) tend to blame a lot of our problems on our physical appearance. I always thought, wow, it'll be easier to get a job, find a boyfriend, make friends, have fun, like myself, etc. when I'm thinner. The only reason I realized I was even thinking like this and that it is, in fact, untrue is that I found a great job, found a great boyfriend, and have been doing great things with my life even at about 300 pounds. Sure, I'll be able to find clothes a little easier when I lose the weight, but buying smaller clothes won't make me happy. Unfortunately, you have to be happy with yourself inside before you can be happy at any weight (and I say "unfortunately" only because the emotional battle can be even more difficult than the physical one, which we all know is no piece of cake in itself!).

I'm sorry I don't have any more helpful advice. Try taking a very long, serious look at yourself and the things around you--what is it that is truly making you unhappy? I'm sure it's more than simply an extra 10-or-so pounds. The good news is that once you find out what it is that's holding you back, while it may be depressing to realize or admit that there are other issues, you can work toward correcting them and making your way to happiness that much sooner. I know maybe that sounds cheesy, but it's true (at least in my head--I hope I explained it well enough) ;)

colsnanny
09-28-2005, 10:40 PM
Thanks for the advice. I think I was just having a bad day yesterday. I feel better today. Also I was mainly meaning happy with my body. I am pretty happy with my life. Thanks again!

2frustrated
09-29-2005, 11:24 AM
If you're still not happy with your body at GW, and you still want to look more "sculpted" then try lifting some weights - head over to the Ladies Who Lift forum and check it out! ;)

hefty1
09-29-2005, 12:28 PM
your body maybe telling you this the weight you should be. glen

jillybean720
09-29-2005, 02:33 PM
your body maybe telling you this the weight you should be. glen

How so?

aphil
09-30-2005, 11:04 AM
What I think is important to remember, is that just because we are at a goal weight, that doesn't mean that our bodies are in top physical fitness. You can reach a goal weight of 125, 130, or 140 pounds...and continue to improve your body every day while staying at that weight.

You can stay at the same scale weight, and still lose body fat, and gain muscle mass. If you continue to exercise regularly, and really challenge yourself by increasing your weight when you strength train, try to go a little harder, longer, etc. when you do cardio, and try different forms of exercise to shake things up and surprise your body-your body can continue to improve and change shape.

My husband started working out again a few months ago, and he is still in the 179-184 pound range that he was when he started-but he looks a heck of a lot better. He has stronger looking legs, arms, and shoulders, and he has less "love handles" and excess fat in his belly area. He has went from a size 36 waist jeans to a 34, without losing on the scale. He has gained muscle, and lost body fat. (By strength training 3 days a week, and running about 10-15 miles per week, and while eating at the same calorie level, he has been eating healthier foods.)

So, if you are not happy with your body when you reach your goal weight, you may be 6 months, or 2 years after the fact with continued workouts that challenge you, and improve your fitness level.