100 lb. Club - Support/advice/a little bit of ranting




mousie
09-26-2005, 01:03 PM
(Okay, a lot of ranting.)

Right, this morning I'm feeling angry and frustrated.

I have gained back 3.5 pounds, due to the Emergency Trip to Minnesota. So in 2 months of following WW--my first two months, mind--I've lost a total of 4 pounds. That's absurd, and it makes me angry. Angry as in scream-at-the-world angry--life is so unfair, why me, I'm doing everything right, WTF is UP with my body, etc. So there's that frustration.

Which sparked the idea to play it really strict and tight--"perfect"--with my eating/exercise, and keep the records so that I can go scream at doctors. Which has never worked in the past--they shame me for my size and don't listen when I tell them what I'm doing, or don't believe me--but maybe if I had months of paperwork to shove in their faces...?

Which sparked the idea to go over and plug things in to Fitday, which got me adding new foods, which got me playing with numbers, which got me frustrated by the fact that I just can't seem to get all of my vitamins no matter WHAT I do...which started a viscious mental hysteria.

For the record, I don't feel like I'm competing with you all. I'm genuinely thrilled that things are going so well for you. But I do feel like I should be getting similar results. I mean...I'm eating my Points, I'm exercising, I'm eating whole/natural foods. Be honest with me, guys--what am I doing wrong? How can I weigh as much as I weigh (290) and need LESS food to lose weight (I'm averaging about 33-34 Points a day)? What is WRONG with my body?

For the record, for those who don't know me (which is all of you!), I've lifted weights and done cardio consistently for 15 years. Even though I'm 290 pounds I still have muscle cuts. I'm 5'9", large frame. Female. Hurm, what else could you need to know...? 30 years old. I lost weight once before, when I was 23, down to 180 pounds. I was a size 10-12, and looked 'right' for my body. The regain has been over the last 5 years, tumultuous and painful years for which I have had therapy and (in that regard) am doing very well.

It's taking all I have to not just say :censored: and give up. And I'm so tired of that "feeling better should be reward enough" platitude. Yeah, I do feel better when I eat better. And I wouldn't actually devolve to living on Taco Bell (it makes my stomach hurt) and ice cream. I would at least not feel like I'm beating my head against a brick wall. What is WRONG with my body?

I would go to the doctor, because I'm concerned, I really am. The headaches and the dizziness lately...? But they yell at me, and don't believe me anyway. I feel like I'm thrown out on my own here. Figure it out.

Feeling hysterical. :( Thank you to anyone who can help.


funniegrrl
09-26-2005, 01:17 PM
First, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad about all of this. You're right, it IS frustrating.

As for the vitamins/minerals, I think it's hard for most people to get them in, at least some of them.

As for what's wrong with you, IF there's anything wrong with you ... well ... we can't say, unfortunately. Just knowing your stats isn't enough.

If I were you ... the first thing I'd do is find new doctors. Make appts with a few candidates and ask lots of questions. You could have some very real issue that needs to be addressed, from PCOS to hypothyroidism to a crashed metabolism to any number of things. If it turns out there's no medical reason, then I'd ask for a referral to a registered dietition that specializes in difficult cases.

When do-it-yourself doesn't work, it's time to call in the professionals, and sometimes it takes some searching to find the RIGHT professionals.

SnShn13
09-26-2005, 01:26 PM
Hey. Sorry to hear you're feeling so frustrated. I can relate. I've been working at it since June and have lost 14 pounds... Certainly NOT the 2lbs a week I had been wanting to lose. I don't know what could be wrong with you. My guess is probably NOTHING! Maybe you're not eating enough calories? Maybe it'll take time to get rolling? I'm not a doctor but my advice would be... Don't give up just because you're not getting fast results... You have more of a chance to succeed if you continue to try than you would have if you gave up! Stick with it and feel free to vent whenever. Good luck!


boiaby
09-26-2005, 02:45 PM
viscious mental hysteria

Good way to put it. I can totally relate to that, I suffer from it myself!

Geez, you sound so completely frustrated right now, which is understandable and totally reasonable. I know that just feeling better ain't always gonna cut it, sometimes you need to see some real results!

I would find a new doctor too, one that will stop and listen to you, and actually take you seriously. I don't know a lot about it, but have you checked out the symptoms of PCOS? I'm not sure why, but that just kind of popped into my head as I was reading your post. Couldn't hurt to try, right?

Anyway, I hope you're feeling better soon, but as long as you need to, you go right ahead and rant. Sometimes that's all we can do.

Good luck!
Beverly

barbygirl43
09-26-2005, 04:15 PM
I think we've all felt that way many times. I finally decided to not pay attention to my scale and instead focus solely on my exercise and eating efforts for a month to see where that gets me. I want to make it about my health and take the pressure off hitting a number. When I first started out I did great and lost like 3 pounds only to gain 2 the next week, lose 2 the next week, gain 1. I was about ready to give up because I wasn't getting those 1-2 pounds a week but when I looked at the big picture of how my weight changed over time I noticed a 1 pound a week average loss.

Your gain could be a lot of water weight from your trip and will come back off. If you don't count that gain you are averaging about .5 pounds a week loss. No it's not the big losses I've seen some on here have but it beats a gain. When I gave up and stopped trying to eat healthy and exercise I put on 25 pounds in 6 months. Rather than decide it's too hard for me I decided to get back in there and give it another go.

I agree with the other posters that it might be time to find another doc out there who has your interests at heart.

Another option since you are doing the points would be to try out the wendie plan to shake up your eating habits.

DishyFishy
09-26-2005, 05:23 PM
I'm sorry you're so frustrated, mousie. I'll add my voice to the seeking a new doctor thing. It can't be a bad thing to get yourself checked out because the headaches and dizziness might be a symptom of something medical.

Sheila53
09-26-2005, 05:42 PM
Yup, what everyone else said about finding another doctor. YOU know your body and you know what it should be doing. Search until you find someone who is willing to help you get to the bottom of this. You're going to have to be an advocate for yourself. Demand to be heard! Until then, keep on doing all the good things for your body, okay?

SwimGirl
09-27-2005, 01:02 AM
I actually have these same issues, as does my mother. In order for me to lose more than 1/2 a pound every 2 weeks I have to cut out ALL bread, pasta, wheat, milk, sugar, fruit, carrots, potatos, red meat, the list goes on... I went to the doctor when I was younger about this and was told I was eating too much (even tho I was NOT). The only help I've EVER recieved on this end was from a Naturalpath. Unfortunately I moved and stopped seeing him, and since then, couldn't afford it, waiting for medical to kick in to pay for it,lazy.. etc.. heh. I'd see if thats an option for you, they can be SO helpful in getting your body to work at peak performance. Hope that helps!

-Aimee

Oooh, btw, one of the first things I did was take cal/mag suppliment, vitamin c and a vit b mix and it really seemed to "speed" things up. I have the reasons why written down somewhere... but here comes that lazy thing again ;) Lemme know if you want more info!

artist
09-27-2005, 05:44 AM
You absolutely have a right to sound, non-judgemental medical advice - so I echo what everyone else has said, find a good doctor who you are comfortable with.

You don't talk about what else has happened with your body? Are you changing shape, losing inches etc? I think that being aware of these kinds of changes is as important as watching the scale.

I guess the other thing to think about is that, whatever medical advice and diagnosis you get, this is (for all of us) a long journey, with many twists and turns, and somehow finding a way to persist when you find yourself up those blind alleys and dead ends is part of what we all need to learn. So try and stay strong, don't give into those distracting and negative voices, and keep doing what you have been doing to make your body more healthy.

irishgreengables
09-27-2005, 09:12 AM
I am wondering if you might not be getting enough calories and good fats? This has been my lifelong problem. A little over 2 years ago, I actually ADDED calories and fat (GOOD fats) and eliminated sugars. I lost 30 lbs. in 3 months and got pregnant (I have PCOS). This time, I am also doing the same thing -- more calories, more good fats, no white carbs, no processed foods, no sugar (except an occasional treat that is worth it). I find that for a lot of women, particularly strong women who have a history of exercising and a lot of muscle, more good fats and calories are needed. A chiropractor once "prescribed" steel cut oats with non-fat/low-fat cottage cheese, berries, a small amount of almonds (like a small handful) and some stevia or concentrated cherry juice as sweetener for breakfast. I lose weight very well on this breakfast because it gives me energy, fills me up, starts my day off right and without craving sugars, and also starts my day with good fats, carbs , and protein. She also "prescribed" fish oil daily. This was 13 years ago and I did not listen to her until 2 years ago. She was right. It starts the day off right and helps a lot. Her main point, though, was that many muscular, yet overweight women do not eat enough calories and good, healthy fats to lose weight. I am not a WW person, but from what I know, 33/34 pts. seems pretty meager for your body structure and weight.

Obviously, this is just one suggestion. I just thought I'd offfer up what has worked for me since we have similar body types.

TakinBabySteps
09-27-2005, 10:49 AM
Regardless of the progress of your weight loss, you need to see another doctor. I am overweight & yet my doctor takes me seriously, as well he should. It's the easy & lazy way out to hear a patient's concerns and look to her weight as an excuse to dismiss anything she says. We all know the problems associated with obesity, or we wouldn't even be here.

But wow, have I been in your shoes before. I, too, am a very slow loser & I always have been. It's a huge factor is why I have always given up in the past, including on WW. I would get so frustrated, upset & angry that I could stay within my points faithfully and lose less than a woman who only had 20 lbs. to lose.

I didn't want to listen at the time, and it took me over a year before I started listening, but my doctor told me to quit worrying about the scale. I know, I know...easier said than done. But once I listened to him, and it took almost 2 years LOL, I have felt soooo much better about myself & my progress this time around and so determined not to give up. He told me that the important thing was to lose some weight, he said even just 10-25 lbs. a year, to feel better & improve my blood chemistries. He told me to exercise & consistently work on my diet, but not to weigh, measure & obsess over food & my weight....he just wanted to see me moving in the right direction. At the time, I thought he was absolutely insane, but I've come to see that he is right.

I am now losing about 1/2 pound a week. Would I like it to be more? You bet! But we can't fight our bodies & throwing in the towel won't help either. Maybe you should get a referral to see a dietician who may be able to give you some tips to help stir things up a little bit. But please, don't give up!! 1/2 lb. a week is better than nothing! I know that never made me feel better when I was so frustrated, but I've come to see that it is better to lose 26 lbs. a year than to gain. I have lost almost 30 lbs. this year so I know that it will happen, just not as fast as we want it to. Hugs to you!

newfiedarling
09-27-2005, 11:12 AM
As usual, you've received such great advice from everyone here already. I'll echo the sentiment that you may greatly benefit from a new doctor. Please keep us posted.

~Dee

Sandi
09-28-2005, 01:34 PM
You have gotten some great advice. Don't know that I could add more.

Have you made any decisions?

Gardenwife
09-29-2005, 12:25 AM
What irishgreengables said above about maybe not getting enough good fats and calories could well be true. If you work out regularly, your body needs the nutrients, the fuel. I'd definitely be finding a different doctor, and maybe check out nutritionists and personal trainers. Even if all you do is talk to a few about your physical activity and show them your food logs, they might have more ideas for you. I know how frustrating it is to be doing the right things and not see the scale budge. Don't lose heart, though -- get the answers and go for it!

mousie
09-29-2005, 12:03 PM
Thank you to everyone who took the time to help me and offer advice. In answer to Sandi's question, here's what I'm doing now:

I have long fought the idea that I need to eat more, even though everyone keeps telling me this. I am following Weight Watchers Flex Points. They say my minimum Points should be 31 a day...I say that's not enough food for my particular body, and I'm shooting for 35.

I have an appointment with my therapist (who is also working with me regarding an eating disorder) for Monday. Until then each morning I am getting up, planning a day's menu with protein and fruit or veg every two hours, and doing my best to stick to it. Right now I'm not so much focused on losing weight as I am on keeping my bad habits at bay until I can see him on monday.

I have added a fish oil supplement to my day, thank you to Paula for suggesting that. It really means a lot to me that you considered what might be happening in MY body due to the way I have lived my life, rather than just "looking and making assumptions". :)

I am going to wait until I talk to Mike on monday and ask him if he knows of any doctors within the system (I'm a member of an HMO) who specialize in disordered eating. If he doesn't, I'll just call the helpline and harrass them. :)

Again, thank you everyone for helping me, and taking me seriously. I really do appreciate it. :)

funniegrrl
09-29-2005, 12:20 PM
I have an appointment with my therapist (who is also working with me regarding an eating disorder) for Monday. Until then each morning I am getting up, planning a day's menu with protein and fruit or veg every two hours, and doing my best to stick to it. Right now I'm not so much focused on losing weight as I am on keeping my bad habits at bay until I can see him on monday.

I think that is an EXCELLENT plan, good for you for making those decisions. Sometimes we just have to tread water for a bit until we have a clear, worthwhile direction. In a way that's harder than floundering around trying this and that, but in the long run it's the right thing to do.

barbygirl43
09-29-2005, 01:19 PM
I agree it sounds like you have a great plan and I'm glad to see you are taking an active role in this. Make sure and keep us posted on how it goes.

alphabetsoup
10-01-2005, 11:49 AM
Hey! Sounds like you are on the right path! I was going to echo finding another doctor who will listen.

Two things came to mind as I was reading your post:

1. I know a lady who has a problem with her thyroid and it is just IMPOSSIBLE for her to lose weight - very frustrating for her I know. :( That might be something to look into.

2. My best friend started going to a gym a little over a year ago - she hired a personal trainer. She works out faithfully 4-5 times a week - she's lost 20 pounds in a year. She'd like to lose about 20 more and I know she's been frustrated by it. But her PT has really been working with her on her diet and tweaking it and (she was surprised) b/c he didn't feel she was eating ENOUGH and so he upped her calories - plus he has her on some supplements that help. (I"m rambling, I know) But, I specifically remember something about her needing more lean protein and more good fats...exactly what some are saying here...

ANYWAY - just throwing those two things out there. Hang in there until Monday and let us know what you find out! (((HUGS)))

dragonwoman64
10-01-2005, 12:30 PM
I am now losing about 1/2 pound a week. Would I like it to be more? You bet! But we can't fight our bodies & throwing in the towel won't help either. Maybe you should get a referral to see a dietician who may be able to give you some tips to help stir things up a little bit. But please, don't give up!! 1/2 lb. a week is better than nothing! I know that never made me feel better when I was so frustrated, but I've come to see that it is better to lose 26 lbs. a year than to gain. I have lost almost 30 lbs. this year so I know that it will happen, just not as fast as we want it to. Hugs to you!


This is me too.

I've struggled with being a binge eater for years, and worked with a therapist who specialized in eating disorders. I overcame those impulses, though I'll probably always want to eat more than I should. It's very manageable now.

I know the weight loss is complicated, there are so many psychological and biological issues. Hang in there. I know it's tough.