Lighten Up! - God and the Devil




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thinthinker
06-17-2001, 10:16 PM
"...And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double cheeseburger.

And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"

And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth ice cream. And Woman gained pounds. And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable, and TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them.

And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol and fat.

And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

THEN Satan created HMO's


KidGuy
06-18-2001, 07:12 PM
We need to kill Satan!

:angel: > :devil:

BigFatBooty
06-22-2001, 04:02 PM
I got it until I got to the HMO's bit? Is that a US thing??? :?:


thinthinker
06-28-2001, 07:40 PM
Yeah, BFB, HMO is Health Maintainence Organization. It's stupid insurance that covers next to nothing.

rblackstripes
07-09-2001, 11:50 PM
Oh this one is good --- thanks for the laugh :lol:

fruitloop
07-12-2001, 03:51 PM
That was too funny and too true.

Did you think that up yourself or read it somewhere? I'm gonna write that down and take it to my church. They will get a kick out of that.

bluesky
07-13-2001, 03:30 PM
That was hilarious!

Thanks for the laugh, i really needed it today. It's Friday the 13th and it is taking its toll.

Where is you come up with something so funny and true at the same time.

Take care and please if you have any more post them.

Bluesky:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: