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08-01-2005, 05:21 AM
Good morning, sistas! Well, okay. . .it is only 2 AM here, but. . .
Do they have Tetley tea cannisters in the states? I just love almost all of them and this weekend, made them iced (used 2L water, 5 bags, and 11 packets of sweetener). The rooibos (sp?) vanilla and peppermint were soooo good! And no points! Will try more when I am unpacked. They no longer have earl grey vanilla around here, which is a shame because it was the best. I bet the strawberry would make a lovely iced tea as well!

My situation is getting realer and realer and it hits me in little pockets. Had finally gotten back into packing and cleaning after being so angry with the heat and the sunshine just burning my back while I was trying to work. :-/ I do not know why I looked into a notebook before packing it. What was I expecting to find? Got me. Sadly, the first page I flipped to was a little "note to self" kind of thing from probably 1998, saying how sad I was that my husband and I had gotten in a fight and that I wanted more than anything to be with him. Of course, he was not my husband at the time-I was only 16! But I could feel my old desire and sadness from the words, and of course that recreated. So I closed it and packed it away with a few more notebooks and a few teardrops.

Can you believe it is August already?

08-01-2005, 07:43 AM
Good Morning! How can it possibley be morning already? And MONDAY morning at that? I am soooo tired, I hardly slept at all last night despite the physical exhaustion from all the painting.

Hippo-Sounds like you and your husband have a long and complicated history. It has to be hard to get untangled from something like that, especially with all the emotions involved. But you can do it. You will come out on top. I know it must be hard to see now, when things are so low. But you will get there.

I am waiting for the kids to arrive once they are settled in I am gonna crash on the floor. They always sleep on the couches until at least 8 or 9 and my kids were up late too so they should be out for a while yet. Hopefully I can get my livingroom put back together. DH let the kids totally trash it while I painted yesterday. Then I hope I can get a bit more painting done before we go to the fair today, maybe at nap time.

Have a dancing Banana kind of day everyone :cb: Right now though I feel like this guy :halfempty I'lll perk up with a couple more hours of sleep. Byes!

08-01-2005, 09:39 AM
Good morning Sistas!

I'm back from vacation. I definitely did not stay OP last week... I was in a cabin in the woods with my husband, daughter, sister, and her boyfriend. In the cabin next to us were my parents and my other two sisters. We rotated turns cooking supper, so, I had to eat what was fixed for supper-- we had a limited amount of food with us --- one night someone made lasagna, garlic bread,etc; another night BBQ ribs, etc. It was great food, just not the choices I would have made if I'd been at home. Oh well. On the up side, however, we swam for two hours or more each day, so I did get in a lot of exercise.

Hippo- hang in there! :hug: Oh, and your tea sounds fabulous. I think I'll make some sun tea today myself. I bought some plain green tea on vacation and I think I'll try it as sun tea to see how I like it.

Misty- I hope the kids all sleep in late! :)

08-01-2005, 10:04 AM
Good morning, everyone. I sulked all weekend and, I hope, got it out of my system. I don't really feel like posting, but I feel I need to keep my promise to be here to support everyone, even when I myself feel like giving up. Thank you all so much for your help.

Dinner Saturday night was unbelievable. It was obscenely expensive, and I mean that. I'm embarrassed about how much I spent. But, my honey is worth it. I won't go into too many details about the food, but I have to say that his prime rib was 27 ounces; it had to be 4 inches thick and covered his whole plate. And my gosh it was delicious; you hardly had to chew it at all. I had crab imperial. Sigh.... I didn't even bother to try to count the points! But we had a wonderful time, so it was worth it. (Someone please remind me of that next saturday when I'm whining about my weigh-in!)

Yesterday was an eating, sulky day, so another bust points-wise. But like I said, back on track today. I have a new employee starting today, so I'm taking her out to lunch. The place we usually go to is a bar with very good food. They have a huge salad with baby greens, sliced steak and goat cheese with a balsamic reduction. I don't know how to count it all, but I think that would be the best thing for me to get. The greens are 0, of course. The balsamic reduction probably has oil in it, so I'm going to count it as 4 (it's not drenched in dressing, at least). There's just a little goat cheese, so I'll count that as 2 (one full cup of pot cheese is 3); and I'd bet there's about 3 ounces of steak, so I'll call that 5. Does that sound about right? 11 points?

Thanks again, ladies, for pulling me back in, even if it was kicking and screaming!

08-01-2005, 11:01 AM
Oh boy...what a morning. *yawns and stretches* Whew, I feel so lazy compared to all of y'all! :) My cat (i.e. alarm clock) didn't wake me up at 7:30 as she usually does. This morning she decided to let me sleep in until 8:30. Crazy kitty. I suppose when the semester kicks in, I'll actually have to rely on an alarm clock instead of my cat. ;)

Today is going to be a pretty laid-back day. I absolutely MUST finish The Faerie Queene, no excuses. I've been reading this sucker for a week. It's time to end it. And once I finish it, I'm going to move on to Confessio Amantis, which is about ten pages shorter, but in Middle English. Lol. Ah...the life of an English student. *shakes head* But before all of that, I'm going to go work out. Today is a cardio day sans my personal trainer, but I've had plenty of those and this week I'm extra motivated. I'm only 1.5 pounds away from saying "I've lost 10 pounds!" And I would really love to say that to my parents when I see them after my WI on Saturday morning. I'd love to walk into breakfast, wherever we're going to eat breakfast, and say, "Well, I'm 10 pounds lighter since the last time I saw you." Lol. How fun would that be? So I just want to shake at least 1.5 pounds. If I can shake 3 pounds and waltz into One-derland this week, that'd be amazing, too. But I'm aiming at the 1.5 for now.

So! I better run. I don't want all the good treadmills taken! ;)

Have a great Monday, sistas!

08-01-2005, 11:09 AM
Amanda, you aim for the 1.5, and I'm going to quietly root for the 3 pounds for you. I want to take your hand and lead you into one-derland! You're so close!

HH, we're here for you, sista. This is a tough time right now, but once you actually get moved out and on your own, you're going to be so awed and proud of the things you can accomplish. Trust me on that.

08-01-2005, 11:20 AM
Good morning everybody!! Maggie, i had a sulky kind-of weekend too.

I got our spare bedroom painted and redecorated. It's a very pretty blue color, which matches the tiny blue flowers in the bedspread perfectly. The bedspread is mainly white with pink roses, but it has tiny blue daisies on it also. In my opinion, it looked beautiful, but dh said, I don't really care for the color. :rollpin:

I just get kind-of down--today is my 2 year anniversary at my job. I love my job, but we haven't met any new friends in this city. We moved here from out of state, and I haven't met a single friend. I honestly don't know how to meet people. I just sat at home last night and moped. I know there are people worse off than me, but I just was feeling sorry for myself in a pathetic sort-of way!!

I guess I ate okay over the weekend, but we ate at Culvers on Saturday night. Are you familiar with Culvers? It's kind-of an upper-midwest restaurant.

I'm suppose to have my weigh-in tonight, but I don't think I'm going. I'm going to quit to save money. I'm sad about it, because this was my social time outside of work, but I'll be okay.

Maggie, thanks for posting. Even if you're not feeling rosey, we all need your fabulous support! I'm glad you enjoyed your night out. It's fun to spulge every once in a while! My husband sure would have enjoyed that enormous prime rib.

Amy, I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation! Did you get any exercise in? I haven't been camping for the longest time, but I remember one time in college when I camped in northern Minnesota. They had a fairly nice cabin that had a tv and a VCR. Well, we watched the Shining--that insanely scary movie with Jack Nickelson!! It was the first time I saw it, and I was freaked!! Then, my friend and I had to camp back to the cabin that we were at, and I was a basket case. Man, I was scared!

HH, maybe this pain will get better once you are off starting new again. You're a very strong woman. I've only known you for a couple of weeks, and I can already tell that. The most important thing is that you must take care of yourself first.

August 1st--summer is almost over. This heat is getting to be too much for me!

08-01-2005, 12:13 PM
Good mornin' sistas!! I have missed you all like crazy cakes! :hyper: Thanks for the hugs while I was on my vacation from ****- it helped, really. :thanks: And overall, now that I am home, I see that I had a lot of fun- Duluth is fantastic, and I spent quite a bit of time with my son and his two cousins (my three little men) so if nothing else, that was worth it! Duluth, ah... I really must find a job there...

I did not WI in this week because I was still gone on Saturday (my WI) and had no access to a scale. Yesterday I weighed and was up 1.5lbs, but I wasn't concerned. I actually thought I'd lose on vacation because I'd be getting so much exercise (walking all over, swimming twice a day) and I planned for points as well as I could. Well, I did fine on eating- I stopped writing everything down after a while because I was always in a rush to go here or get to the next thing, but I didn't go hog wild either- i always remembered sensible portions and avoided the stuff that would have really stuck to my hips. Bravo to me- there was a LOT of temptation...

But anyway, I am sure I went over on points with drinks at happy hour and in the evening- but I also figured that the activity points I earned probably balanced out the drinks (lite beers mainly) I think the reason I didn't see a loss was also due to the fact that I wasn't getting in all of my water.

Now this morning I am down 1/2 lb from my last WI (so, 195.5) and yesterday was a perfect point day and I drank all my H2O, so I'm right back on track and expecting to see a big loss this coming WI on Saturday!! :goodscale

OK, I'm going to go read all of your posts to catch up on how you have all been, so I'll post again when I'm done- I'm guessing it will take me most of the day to read all your posts, no? :lol:

08-01-2005, 12:31 PM
Welcome back!


08-01-2005, 12:37 PM
Maggie~ The dinner out with your honey sounds wonderful. Don't feel too bad-- we all go way off sometimes, the important part is that you're getting back on track today. :hug: And your salad calculations sound right to me.... but I tend to guesstimate (that's the problem with not actually joining- I'm just doing it my own way, lol) so I could be wrong.

Amanda~ That WOULD be fun to walk in and tell them about the ten pound loss! :) I'm rooting for the three pounds, too. You can do it!

Iowasteph~ I know what you mean about not knowing how to meet people. Outside of my job, most of my friends are people I've known since way back in college or high school (we live close to the same area as we grew up in, and DH and I went to the same school-- but we never dated in school). I joined a MOMS Club last year and while I like some of the people there, I've not really "connected" with anyone in particular.
I'm sorry you'll have to quit going to your WW meetings if you enjoy them. 3FC- specifically you guys here in Slimmin Sistas-- IS my ww support group- I can't afford to join WW right now. You'll just have to post away & we'll be here for you. ;)
And, Yes, I swam every day for a couple of hours, played badminton, and went for some long walks. So I did get in plenty of exercise on my vacation.

Lori~ Welcome back! I'm glad your vacation ended up better than it sounded from earlier posts. And WTG with your food choices-- I was on vacation, too, but I didn't stick to my plan as well as you did. :0

08-01-2005, 01:03 PM
Hee hee, Amy, do you mean REAL badminton? ;)

08-01-2005, 02:25 PM

How's everyone doing today? Woo Hoo, Monday!!! Might as well be happy about it being Monday.

I've been doing some housecleaning today. I swept & mopped our uncarpeted stairs, vacuumed every surface in the living room (and I mean every surface) & dusted it within an inch of it's life. Rearranged knick-knacks, candles, etc. and found a basket for magazines & stuff. Looking pretty good now. I worked about 1 & 1/2 hours. So I'm taking 3 AP's for it. I can't go as fast as I used to be able to with the back problem, but I'm getting it done. I know that I won't be able to do stuff like this for awhile if I have surgery, so trying to get the big cleaning done now.

HH, were you still up at 2am or did you just get up? Are you having trouble sleeping now? I know it's rough trying to move on, but you will come thru it. You got your sistas with you. :grouphug:

Hi Misty, I hope you have an easy day with the kids. Have fun at the fair. I remember when I was a kid I lived for County Fair time. Ours usually didn't start until the last week of August. I lived in rural Western Ohio as a kid, so most everyone farmed. I hung out at the horse barn all the time, mucking out stalls, washing horses, anything to do with horses. I haven't ridden in too many years, though.

Welcome Back, Amy :D . I think you were leaving for vacation when I joined this thread. Hope to get to know you. Sounds like you were getting enough exercise while you were gone to balance out the off plan eating. Swimming 2 hours a day earns a lot of AP's.

Oh, Maggie, can your honey actually eat 27 oz of meat? (At one time?) Whew, that would take me all month to eat that. heh, heh. Anyway, I'm glad you got to go out to a really good meal to get away from your WI trauma. :lol: I think you got it out of your system!! Have you ever thought about trying Core?

Amanda, I'll keep cheering for you to make Onederland. :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: I still have a ways to go. Hopefully, we'll get there soon. I have 8# to go; trying to make it by Aug 31.

Steph, yeah, it's kinda hard to meet new people and make friends. I moved here from Lexington, KY in 1994 and I had some very close friends there. It took until about 3 yrs ago to actually find a couple of people that I "clicked" with here. It took a while.

Welcome back, Lori. You will probably do well on your WI. Sounds like you got a lot of AP's. You may be surprised.

TTFN, ladies

08-01-2005, 02:43 PM
*giggles* You guys are great! Actually, I'm silently rooting for the 3 pounds, too, but I don't want to pressure myself too terribly much (just in case it doesn't happen, I still want to be happy about whatever weight loss I do see).

Lori! You're back!! My fellow comps-sufferer has returned! ;) I'm glad to hear that the vacation ended up being better than it started out. So glad you're back! :D And yeah...it will probably take you the rest of the day to finish this stuff. ;) You know how talkative we all are, haha.

Okay...time to devote the rest of the day to The Faerie Queene. Ugh...just 60 more pages. Just one big push through the rest of the text and I'll be finished with it. Maybe I'll go read outside on my new patio furniture! That sounds nice and relaxing. :D Good to get a change of scenery--that couch can be very depressing.

See ya on the other side of The Faerie Queene! ;)

08-01-2005, 04:12 PM
Hee hee, Amy, do you mean REAL badminton? ;)

Well.... we were on vacation with my entire family- parents in the cabin next to ours, and one sister in the cabin with us, and our two year-old in the room WITH us. :D So, yes... this particular game of badminton involved a net, birdies, and a lot of running around. :lol:

08-01-2005, 04:13 PM
Hi girls. I've been trying to read as much as I can on here while on hold here at work. I feel bad that I have not been posting like I once was! It's been very hectic between work, Lori being gone on vacation and my parents visiting from Arizona!

I did well with my points this weekend, and I did get alot of walking in doing down routes Friday and Sunday morning. ( I work at a newspaper)
I even did some light weights Saturday morning. Looks like Lori and I will be taking Bryon swimming after dinner tonight-yay!

Tomorrow I'm only working half a day(since I worked Sun. am) and I am going up to the cities to my brother's house. My sister and her husband are there this week from Texas. We're all having dinner together tomorrow night. I still have no idea what I'll eat, but I'll be fine.

Well, I do need to get back to work. But please know that I am still here, reading and posting when I can. I've been writing in my journal at bedtime again, and I've been writing "changes in the last 7weeks", I will be posting some in that area soon.

Love ya girls, hope you have a great Monday!


08-01-2005, 04:52 PM
I just get kind-of down--today is my 2 year anniversary at my job. I love my job, but we haven't met any new friends in this city. We moved here from out of state, and I haven't met a single friend. I honestly don't know how to meet people. I just sat at home last night and moped. I know there are people worse off than me, but I just was feeling sorry for myself in a pathetic sort-of way!!

I know exactly how you feel! When I moved to the city here, I was looking forward to getting a job so very much so that I would have some friends. The job I ended up getting is a revolving door job, if you know what I mean. I am a very shy, quiet person so I often have trouble making friends, but it is nearly impossibly when I only have 2 weeks to do it. It is like speed dating. sheesh
I know I/you/we should probably be doing community activities or whatnot, but for me, those never work out well.

Kitty, yeah I was still up at 2 AM (and 3 and 4 and 5 lol). I am a night person by nature and stay up whenever I can. I can get soooo much more done at night than in the morning. My night job spoiled me rotten, but I have to be there at 8:30 tomorrow, so I had better be careful tonight. Today is a holiday here in Canada, so that is why it is still "weekend". Sleep wise, I do often have trouble sleeping. As I have mentioned before, I have regular nightmares. . .usually very disturbing ones that I can not get out of my head during the day. This makes it hard to sleep unless I am dead tired and hard to wake up. . .not sure if it is the level of sleep I am in or if I just keep hoping to have a good dream before I wake. Is definitely not as bad as it once was, though. I remember nights that I would dance around until I was absolutely exhausted just so I would fall asleep.

Well, this is it. My last real day here. Tomorrow (I hope first thing, I can not stand all of this waiting!) I will know if I got the place. If I did not, that is it. It is over. My only choice at that point will be to suck it up, and go back home. I really do not want that to happen. Closure would be hard to get and I would feel like I was going years back and such. If I do get the place, I will be moving as soon as possible. Optimally, it would be tomorrow night, but I have a bad feeling the landlord does not have that in mind. Tomorrow I also work days, so if my phone is back on, I will be calling and checking my messages all day. If I get it, will go over right after work and sign everything. Wednesday the mother in law arrives and that is why I am hoping that I can move Tuesday night. If I have to wait until Thursday, I would probably get a hotel for the night, but if I am trying to move Wednesday and she is here. . . :( Just do not know if I can handle the stress all together-heartbreak, wicked heartless person, moving, heat, TOM, et cetera. I just keep wishing and hoping and praying that this will work out. Maybe she will delay her trip. Am still very concerned that my husband is going straight from living with me to having his mom live with him. I have seen how she is to him and I will not be here to protect him. :~( I have never understood how someone could hurt someone over and over again and the other person just forgets. Bah, do not want to get into it all again. Have 9-10 hours to pack up the rest of this stuff and so I had better get boxes now. Going to be hard on a holiday, but hey, nothing is ever easy. Trust me. :p

Not sure when I will pack my computer, but depending on circumstances, I might not be able to check in before I do. So if you do not hear from me for a few days (maybe weeks), I am 1. busy setting up my new life on the other side of the city. 2. busy going back to my home in the states 3. busy running around in circles, bouncing myself off the rubber walls Do not think there is a #4.

08-01-2005, 04:59 PM
Yes... this particular game of badminton involved a net, birdies, and a lot of running around. :lol:

:lol: Hmmmm... STILL could go either way. :lol:
:devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:

08-01-2005, 05:16 PM
Well our week end in Stratford was wonderful the play was Fallen Angels by Noel Coward and it was very funny.
I stayed within my points eating in a restaurant all week end I feel that is a total victory. I was sad today when i went to WW and was down only one pound. Was hoping for more. But started doing the ole self talk and realized it isn't about the stupid number I have had a real victory because I went out and made wise choices and here it is today and I am back on program. So now I am congratulating myself.
Like you I wanted to be able to say I was down twenty pounds when I see my parents this week end so I was sad that I can't and realized what is a number and what difference is a pound. I should be happy! Hopefully you will see that three pound drop but if not feel so very proud of how far you have come.

Thought of you Cap. they had a coloring book in the Shakespeare store of The Faieries good luck finishing! My daughter is working on her PHD in English Lit also.

HH so did you find a place? Your tea sounds wonderful!

Thanks for being here ladies it is great to have a place to be ourselfs! And to admit our feelings.

Have a Marvelous Monday!

08-01-2005, 05:36 PM
Ah...so this is the world on the other side of The Faerie Queene.... So bright. So lovely. Lacking in any Spenser-cloud at all. Beautiful. Just...beautiful. *weeps*

That's right ladies! I have FINALLY finished reading The Faerie Queene. Now, not to deceive any of you, this text is 1100 pages long...but for my comps, I only had to read the first 562 (books I-III).

...er...my cat's head is under the couch. *blink*

Anyway. I'm very happy to have finished this damn book. It wasn't that the literature was terrible...it was just that it was so much to get through. Whew. And the last few lines were very helpful in answering my question, "What should I do next?" Spenser suggests, "Now cease your worke, and at your pleasure play..." Well, if Spenser tells me to do something, I'm sure as **** doing it. ;)

HH, I really hope everything goes well for you. I've got my fingers crossed and am praying for you. Whenever you get a chance to hop onto a computer (maybe at a local library?), let us know that you've got a place to live! I know this is such a difficult time for you, but I for one am very impressed and proud of the way you're handling everything. I don't know if I'd be as strong as you've been through all this. Good luck with moving and I hope you are able to get the apartment you're after.

Luflic, your daughter's getting her PhD in English lit? How cool! What's her area of focus? And you know...a coloring book of Shakespeare's fairies would be much more interesting to me than some of my comps reading list. I wonder if I could convince my examiners to change the exam to include all kinds of Shakespeare coloring books. I can color really well! ;)

All you other ladies, have a great day. I'm off to "at [my] pleasure play." Well. Spenser said it. I can too, right? ;)

08-01-2005, 05:46 PM
Her focus is Childrens Lit. Hang tough girl the reading will get better :)

08-01-2005, 08:12 PM
Hi everyone!

Today was a pretty good day. I was bad this weekend, and didn't really count points on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. I know I went over on Friday, and I know I didn't go over on Saturday, and I'm not sure about Sunday :)

Today though, I did sooo good so far :) I changed my morning meal to oatmeal, and wow, it just kept me full and NOT hungry until close to lunch time! I love it! :) and all I had was a half of a cup! Right now, I am sooo stuffed, so hopefully I wont eat anything else today, and I'm right at 28 pts :)

I didn't exercise this morning though, I was up every hour or so to pee! It was annoying! I didn't get ANY sleep last night, and I was too tired to get up. I didn't think I drank that much water last night, but I guess I did. I am not doing that again tonight. And it sucks, because I cant sleep if I have to pee. LOL I used to wet the bed when I was kid because I was in too deep of a sleep and wouldn't get up, so yeah, I cant stay asleep now if I have to pee. lol thats a little TMI, but oh well :)

And I was happy to see that the hamburger buns I bought this week are only 1 point, so woohoo! :)

I did though, walk on my lunch, and it was over 90 degrees here, so thats good right? :)

WB Lori!

Maggie - glad to see that you are out of your sulky days! We're all here for you!! And I think 10 or 11 pts would be a good estimate of the salad. Hope it was good!

(((HH))) you're also in my thoughts, and good luck with everything!

((((everyone else))) Hope you all had a great day!!

08-01-2005, 09:34 PM
Helloooooo Ladies!

I'm having an interesting monday... got stuck in the elevator at work for 45 minutes.... swamped at work.... then got stuck in the middle of my best friend and husband's stupid feud... crazy....

but i went to the gym and worked out... going out to dinner with my dh shortly....

MAGGIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO happy to see you decided to stay with us! whew...i was really sweatin' that fat chicks with fire thing!

LizzyG: that is a great idea! i love oatmeal... i need to buy some more! yummmy!

Whoops! gotta go! dh is home!

08-01-2005, 09:59 PM
Congrats on the workout Diva! I bet it helped you feel a little better, especially after having to play monkey-in-the-middle. Man...I hate when things like that happen. It's hardly fair at all, is it? But working out definitely can help! :) And I cannot believe you got stuck in the elevator for 45 minutes!! Are you claustrophobic at all? Generally I'm not, but then I've never been stuck in an elevator for that long before. Once the elevator I take to the English department was too full (I was stuck in it during the lunch rush) and it ended up going to every floor twice before finally letting everyone off. It was really freaky actually...lol. But it didn't last 45 minutes. Maybe 10. Sounds like you had a bit of a rough day! Hope dinner is great for you!! :D

And can I just say I really love watching ****'s Kitchen, but it's definitely important to eat before watching?? Lol. This show cracks me up, but if I watch it on an empty stomach, there's no hope for me. ;)

Have a great night ladies!

08-01-2005, 11:02 PM
Has been a rough day, but I expected it to be. Got about 15 boxes, but all very small ones. Still have some big things that I need to pack like the computer/monitor, et cetera. Have packed mostly all the little things and have packed the scale. I wanted to wait it until last, but being a procrastinator, I always want to wait everything until last. Am not keeping track of points right now, anyway, and it is TOM and plateaued. . .so a week of not weighing might do me some good. :dunno: Cleaned the bathroom up quite nicely and next is the kitchen. I just hate cleaning the kitchen/always have. No idea why. I am sure it is something psychological going back to when I was a kid and the oven was a place to store all the pots and pans, paper and plastic prevailed over metal, and instead of milk, eggs, butter the shopping list usually was burger king, pizza hut, subs. Am really going to have to get over it living alone. Especially if I get this place-it has no dishwasher! =-o

Had a mini-lash at my husband a bit ago. Was just in a really sad mood and he walked in out of nowhere and my stupidalwaysdaydreaming mind thought he was going to hug me. He did not, and I was just so mad at everything. So he said something and I said how mad and hurt I was that he was not helping me pack or move. Was not screaming, but was definitely angry. Anyway, will not get into the whole conversation, but I think he learned never to get too close to a PMSing woman whose heart you have broken as she is packing up memories of her life with you in insane temperatures. Bah. I decided to tell my family but am going to wait until tomorrow. If I do not get the apartment, I am going to move back home, so I certainly will have to tell them. Besides, as everyone keeps telling me, keeping things inside is not good for you. So, if I get my own place and move I will also let them know. There are a few reasons that I came up with this decision, but anyway that is it. I just will make it very clear to them that I want to try things on my own here and that I do not want to get into details.

Much later. . .
Well, it is nearing 1 here, so I most definitely need to get these hippo hips to bed. I had a few episodes of "Coupling" taped and was holding off watching them for my new place for the period between moving in and getting cable. I gave in and watched them tonight and they just cheered me up. The ones I watched were pretty romantic, but did not make me cry-just smile a lot. Do not regret watching them. . .who knows when I will get a television? In approximately 9-10 hours, I should know which direction my life will be going. The entire course of my future depends on this one application. And there is not a thing I can do about it but wait. I have been thinking of some good that would come if I have to move back home, but I really really really want to get this place. Will my husband and I ever get together? I would like to hope so, but realistically the chances are bleak. But if I go back to the states, I will always wonder. Can not stand this waiting. Am going to pee my pants when the phone rings (if they turn my phone back on grrr). If my phone is not turned back on, I will have to wait until my coffee break and check messages or call the landlord from the payphone. I remember the last two times I felt this nervous. One was the night before I started my first job. My mother had lost my social security card and birth certificate which I needed. I could not do anything at all. . .just wait and hope and wait and hope. The second time was the night before I first went out with my husband. I was so nervous that in the shower, while shaving my armpits, I dropped the razor and cut well. . .the smallest part of my 32C ;). Yikes. Bled like crazy. Thought I would die from loss of blood heh. Oh, and I definitely was nervous the night before I moved up here. Just had no time and wanted to make it on time, but needed sleep desperately. Finally got 2-3 hours around 7 AM or so, making me late. I envy people who see something they have no control over and feel a relief. The "*shrugs* Nothing I can do about it, no sense worrying" people. I try to feel that way, but I just hate that there is nothing I can do about it. Truly, my entire future depends on this. . .it is a major fork in the road.

Had better get to sleep or I will sleep through the life altering phone call. ;)

I get out of work at 3 tomorrow (5 EST) so 3:30 if I come right home. . .4:00 if I go to sign papers, and probably not until around 7 if I find a u-haul for last minute sturdy boxes for my fragile stuff and take a cab home. Have to find movers or movers and plane tickets and a vet before I move, so will keep my computer hooked up and let you sistas know. I know I am way OT here, but I have a feeling we sistas will be together for quite some time, so it is important to see each other's major events and ups and downs, right? How am I ever supposed to get to sleep? heh

08-02-2005, 11:02 AM
Hippo~ ::::HUG:::: Please PM me or IM me or whatever if you want to talk while your computer is still hooked up-- I'm often online late at night, too. I'm thinking of you today and praying that everything works out for you.