Weight Loss Support - I am angry!




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NinaV
06-24-2005, 08:04 PM
I am frustrated and angry with my self. For what seems like a thousandth time I crashed my diet. This happens every time! I start, I go on for a week or so and then – BOOM! I look at all the wonderfully cheerful postings here and instead of getting motivated and inspired, I get even angrier. What is wrong with me? Why is it that all these people can loose weight and I can’t?
Sorry, just had to vent, I feel like this is the only place I can do it and people won’t think I’m a psycho mad woman.


Schatzi
06-24-2005, 08:46 PM
Nina, most of here have "failed" for 1,000 of times, we all fall off our plans, try to learn from it and get back to work on it. Are you trying to be too perfect? None of are perfect,hon, we are trying to slowly and steadly change our way of eating, adopt a better lifestyle...but old behaviours take time to eradicate. Each setback is an opportunity for a lesson learned. and ya move on. Be kind to your self, take time to figure you what you are really getting angry at... look at yourself honestly and look for where you may not be following your diet or working out.... Most of us got fat over years and years, and I think all of us get angry , envious a bit, throw a pityparty , pout, but believe we can do this and you can do. .... if you want help, it's here. :)

paphs4me
06-24-2005, 08:57 PM
I've felt the same thing, so don't feel alone. In fact, I go through that more than I like to admit.
One of the things that helps me (sometimes) is to remember that committment includes the the possibility of failing from time to time, but is getting back in there and trying again, and again, and again.
Sometimes that helps, but then sometimes, I have a "pity party." I even have a song and dance:
"Every party needs a pooper that's why we invited you.
Pity party. Pity party.
Laugh, the world laughs with you.
Cry, they'll boo hoo hoo
Pity party. Pity party."
Then, after I'm feeling stupid enough, I start laughing at myself. (I'm a lousy dancer, and even worse at singing) Sometimes, if I'm really on a jag, I'll sing it in my worst imitations of various celebrities. Of course, I need to be alone at the time. Talk about people thinking you're a psycho woman.


byugrad
06-24-2005, 09:13 PM
Nina: When you say "crashed your diet", I assume you mean that you went off it? I'm a firm believer in analyzing what triggers caused you to do that. Once you know what caused you to eat something you shouldn't, it's easier to avoid it the next time.

But just like anything else, you pick yourself up again and start over. I know there's a tendency in us to say "well, I blew it today; I'll start again tomorrow." Then we proceed to eat everything in sight for the rest of the day and night. But rather than do that, we need to say "I made a bad choice, but I'm going to get back on the wagon right now." Then go drink a couple glasses of water.

I'm also a big believer in planned, healthy snacks. What kind of a diet are you doing? Low carb? Low fat? Have some "legal" foods readily available for those times when you're tempted to eat. For me (low carbing), it was boiled eggs, cheese, pepperoni, celery, and turkey breast. And now that I've added nuts, berries and fruit back into my diet, it's fresh raspberries, 1/2 c grapes, or 1 oz of almonds or macadamias.

I also pretty much plan what I'm going to eat all day and put it into www.fitday.com. By planning it out, for some reason it is reassuring that, yes, there will be food to eat when I'm hungry.

Good luck.

Schatzi
06-24-2005, 09:18 PM
PAPHS I AM DYIN!!!!!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: That is hysterical...
thanks for the laugh :lol:

MorticiaAddams
06-24-2005, 10:10 PM
You know what Ive done it Ive gone off won lost my battles and while in the midst I would see some skinny thing and start to think to myself im never going to look like that , Im never going to have that body. And there I would go off to Pizza Hut drive thru and eat because darn it I whats the point.
Ive been heavy since I can remember. Ive gone thru the lets make fun of the fat girl and even while Im a grown up to still have kids yelling smart little fat comments at me and all the while my son feeling low because the kids are making fun of his mom. And maybe a couple men who got thru my radar and used me for a fun couple of nights. Ive done all that.
Ive lost and gained and lost and gained I cant tell you how many times.
But this time I know its diffrent this time im doing it the right way.
This time im putting myself first and this time im not letting anyone or anything take me down and make me give in and give up.
Its not that you cant lose the weight. Are you allowing yourself the time and are you doing what needs to be done. When tough times happen do you plow thru them or tell yourself this time wont hurt.
This is one of the hardest things that I have had to do.
And I find it a little funny to say that because putting myself first should be easy. But when your a mom and a wife that changes your priorites.
Believe me theres times I will catch those corner looks that my husband gives to a more attractive women and it hurts , but hes a male and they can be butt heads some times. And of course those blond buxom babes who sport the thong that you just want to give her a wedgie from you know where.
Its tough . Theres crying spells but Im not running to the car and to a drive thru or to the refriderator. Im hitting the husband and telling him I caught you looking when im sitting here with you, Im hitting the gym in efforts to get into a bikini and walk along side those other women.
Ive been working on this change of my life for quite some time. First I started with my eating habits. And not until this Year January have i hit the gym full force. It has taken quite a bit of time for me to get to where I am and i have a long way to go. But time is going by and its not making me any younger. So I have to do this now while I can enjoy and while im still alive to do it. Because at the rate I was going I would surely be dead.
We all have our bad days. And althou some are not posted to often believe me they happen. And Im sorry your hitting one today. But it will pass. And its alright. As much as I have lost so far , Ive also had those days that I felt like I let loose a little to much. Tommorow is another day to get back on the saddle and squeeze the reins as tight as you can and hold on. Hold on as hard and as long as you can. Dont give up. Dont give in.
I hope your day ends on a good note. You desearve good notes ;)

NinaV
06-24-2005, 10:12 PM
I know I was just throwing a pity party, but needed to vent anyway. Thanks for the support and advise.
Byugrad, yes, when I say “crashed” I mean went off it. And you’re absolutely right about the triggers, it just seems like I have a lot of them. One of my biggest problems is to preplan my food intake ahead, so that I always have something to snack on. The diet I tried this time was actually more of a reduced intake of food, sort of a low-cal, low-fat combination. I can’t do low-card, I felt really tired and sleepy the week I did try it.
Paphs, thanks, I feel like I really needed a good laugh.
Schatzi, I know about the “not-trying-to-be-perfect” thing, but for an obsessive compulsive anal retentive over achiever such as my self that concept is easier said than done. It’s a big one though and it definitely helps to hear it from someone other than the voice inside my head. (Starting to rethink that whole psycho comment :dizzy: )

There really are a lot of good people here. :D

NinaV
06-24-2005, 11:10 PM
Morticia,
The highest weight on your ticker is about where I am today, so it really helps to see that there is someone who already managed to loose 76 lbs and can still not only keep on loosing, but find strength to help others.
Can you tell me how you started your diet, and modified your eating habits? Maybe if I try it your way, it will have a better chance of sticking.

MorticiaAddams
06-25-2005, 04:01 AM
You will have to work thru and find what works for you definetly.
I might have started on a winding road but its getting more straigt as time goes on. When I began changing my ways. I was big on counting fat grams. I would eat no more than 20 grams a day. I didnt like to have to count calories, I tried to do what would be easy for me. I seen that on Oprah and some of my ideas I got from her show such as the fat gram counting.
I dont eat any red meat
I dont eat anything White, flour, sugar,pastas
I dont eat anything a couple hours before I go to bed.
I dont any thing fried or battered.
I do not drink any pop or soda
I dont drink or smoke which I never really did before.
I do not eat any kind of candy or chips
because I know myself
When people at my work are eating Pizza I will not go into the breakroom with them because I know I cant handle smelling it and then not wanting some of it for myself.
I know myself I know what I can and cant handle. I have to take those things and put them out of mind and smell.
Ive give in before because someone offers those things to me. And its best if I tell them I cant be there because I know I cant control myself and its best if Im not around. Its the truth and they come to learn I wont be there when they eat like that then they dont ask me if I want that stuff anymore.
Everything I do I took from something I learned from someone else or some book or fitness person. Its many many diffrent ideas and what ever worked for me I stuck with.
I also keep a food diary from time to time to see what Im eating and where its coming from. I would track my fat grams my calories and my protein. I didnt do all that at first but I got curious on what I was eating and so that helped me after my lunch I would add it all and seen what I had left to deal with. And some days I was amazed at everything I ate and I still was not going over my limits.
I started walking around my neighborhood. I was in no shape to get on a bike and ride around town.
My husband was just getting into something new that he discovered and wanted to follow. It was the ABs diet that he seen in one of his mens health magazines. I kinda picked up some ideas from there and then I would hit the computer and do google searches and read about fitness and eating properly.
I have hit the library and checked at as many books and read as much as I could on weight loss and working out.
Then I bought a workout cd It was The extreme makeover workout Cd.
I would work out to it each day at the same time and there were many things I couldnt do and I could only work out for so long ,but I kept working at it and kept working it at and finally I was doing the whole workout routines.
Then I heard that my community center was opening a new gym and it was free until they got their computer system working. I started to go there.
I started with walking and biking some. I did what I could do.
Each time something became easier I would bump it up and add another machine or more weights.
I now work out doing at least five miles of cardio and 25 minutes of weight lifting.
I ride my bike up to the community center and I also run on the tredmill.
All these things I would or could never do before. I had to work at it.
And there are still days I say I dont want to get on that tredmill, but after im half way into it I start to think im glad I got up here and did this.
I also had to work on how I handled my problems. I would be a emotional eater. When ever I was stressed I would reach for the food. Or if I was worried about something I would reach for food. Mad I would reach for food. I didnt know how to exspress my emotions when I was feeling mad or sad or scared. Now I do I dont hold back. I also dont watch as much television as I used to because I would sit in front of it and eat.
I had some weird habit that when the people on my soap opera were eating I would run and grab something as well. Weird I know but I did.
Take what you can and incorporate what feels right for you. But we are all diffrent and have diffrent things that makes it happen for them. Not one single idea has ever worked for me. Theres always been one or a couple things that work but not a entire plan. But some people it does.
Learn what you can and use what works.
Most of all make sure you are getting in those doctor visits to make sure nothing else serious is hiding in wait.
Hope some of this helps.

NinaV
06-25-2005, 05:03 PM
Thanks, Morticia, You've given me a lot of stuff to work with, I'm sure some of it will work for me too.
Good luck with your birthday goal.

Ahealthierme
06-25-2005, 05:25 PM
Nina: When you say "crashed your diet", I assume you mean that you went off it? I'm a firm believer in analyzing what triggers caused you to do that. Once you know what caused you to eat something you shouldn't, it's easier to avoid it the next time.

But just like anything else, you pick yourself up again and start over. I know there's a tendency in us to say "well, I blew it today; I'll start again tomorrow." Then we proceed to eat everything in sight for the rest of the day and night. But rather than do that, we need to say "I made a bad choice, but I'm going to get back on the wagon right now." Then go drink a couple glasses of water.



I totally agree! And I want to add there's a middle ground, it's not "well Im on a diet/now Im not" sometimes we dont always make the best choices, but you just have to learn from it and move on.

for example on Monday my fiance was an hour late for dinner, and I got soooo hungry waiting for him I ate WAY more than I should have. Now in retrospect, I could have had a small snack and a couple glasses of water while I was waiting, but at the time I was pissed and hungry and I let that derail myself, but I stopped myself before an extra helping at dinner spiralled into a binge

NinaV
06-26-2005, 03:32 AM
Ahealthierme,
I know exactly how that goes, I bet when your fiance was late you felt not only hungry, but also upset. Another one of my big triggers is the emotional eating. I'm not a total nut case, despite what it may look like from my posts, but I do tend to overreact to things. A lot of the times I eat when I'm depressed, upset, sad and even moppy (ok, I don't know how to spell that, but you know what I mean.)
Small snack, now that's quite a concept, I'll try it, thanks for the tip. :dizzy:

Quite-a-Handful
06-26-2005, 09:52 AM
Nina, I know this might be too specific to be of any real help to you in the big picture, but it helps me when it comes to emotional eating or any urge to snack. I swear by frozen grapes and fresh salsa. When I feel a need to shove something in my mouth (and my boyfriend's not around - lol - :devil: ), I have a small handful of frozen grapes. They are satisfying, surprisingly creamy, very sweet and they leave a wonderful taste and sensation in your mouth, so you might feel less inclined to ruin it with something else. Or I keep a big container of fresh salsa (preferably not the heavier, creamier kind that is kept unrefrigerated in the chips aisle. If you can't find it, make your own). When that eating urge strikes and I know it's not real hunger, I pop a spoonful of that in my mouth and savor the various flavors and sensations. I prefer the super hot, which makes the effect even better. Seems silly, I know, but these two tricks help me stave off many unplanned snacks and bouts of emotional eating. Plus they help you get in a few more fruits and veggies. Good luck!

BBWonwheels
06-26-2005, 06:42 PM
Well i just started on my diet two weeks ago because i found out i have diabetes. I had it hard whenever i get on a diet but this time i got to stick to it. I have being big all my life and for a long time i wouldnt look into a mirror or nothing I would put a sheet over it or take it down, but every since 2 or 3 yrs ago i was online and i saw all these big women being proud of they extra rolls so that made me look at myself and i found out im a sexy big girl.......lol. i love myself big or skinny. I being on 1000 diets and went back off them a million of times. You got to look at yourself and tell yourself you love you no matter what and keep on trying. I'm handicap with cerebral palsy and being a bbw its kinda hard but i love myself and i don't care who don't like it. Just keep on trying and you will make it.

lessofsarahtolove
06-28-2005, 01:03 AM
I believe that planning is critical. Plan your meals out, and have them ready to go so you're not left wondering, when you're hungry, what you're going to eat.

To avoid getting hungry, divide your planned calories (or healthy eats, if you don't count calories) over at least 5 meals. By eating every 2 1/2 - 3 hours, you're never starving and left vulnerable to off-plan temptation.

Stop eating at least 2 hours before bed. A lot of us could do some major damage at night -- and that's a bad idea. Finish with dinner and be done with it. Or maybe have a low sugar protein drink if you're just really jonesing. Calories are ENERGY -- save them for when your body NEEDS it to get through the day! That way you'll have more umph in your trunk, you know?

Limit your sugar and sodium. They are both present to such ridiculous degrees -- and needlessly. Watch the low fat treats (sugarama) and the bottled salad dressings (enough sodium for several meals) -- READ THE LABELS. Do some research on sodium and heart disease (and hello! water weight, anyone?) as well as sugar and insulin response. Limit both of these and you'll see an improvement in your results -- and your body will thank you.

Cut out needless calories -- like juice or soda.

Drink water. Set a goal (mine is 120-140 oz. per day) and then break it up into time-specific goals, e.g. "22 oz. before I leave for work, then another 22 oz. before lunch." Get the right sized glass or bottle (or use the plastic bottle it comes in to measure) and organize yourself. Otherwise you'll never get it in.

That's enough to start, anyway! I lost almost 80 pounds in 8 months last year. I got derailed for a while, as you'll see below.....but I'm back and I'm doing exactly what I was before -- because it worked for me.

Best to you guys. Oh, and dump any "all or nothing" mentality. It's a recipe for failure. So is anything that involves the word, "tomorrow." Anything you can do tomorrow, you can do right now. Tomorrow is a very nebulous thing -- and it's rarely a binding commitment. ;)

SOON2BE154
07-03-2005, 12:39 AM
Ahealthierme,
I know exactly how that goes, I bet when your fiance was late you felt not only hungry, but also upset. Another one of my big triggers is the emotional eating. I'm not a total nut case, despite what it may look like from my posts, but I do tend to overreact to things. A lot of the times I eat when I'm depressed, upset, sad and even moppy (ok, I don't know how to spell that, but you know what I mean.)
Small snack, now that's quite a concept, I'll try it, thanks for the tip. :dizzy:

I don't know if anyone mentioned it in their posts but eating healthy, small meals every 2 to 3 hours helps with emotional eating. If you're not hungry, you usually wont binge. Also this will boost your metabolism because your body has fuel for energy.

I used to be an emotional eater until I started my program of weight lifting, cycling and healthy nutrition. My depression has totally disappeared. I stopped overreacting when I ate properly and had enough food. Even my doctor noticed on my last visit. She told me my face looks completely different and my body looked great. She's proud of my program which I designed myself. Her suggestion was a low calorie diet. I did the research and found that low calorie dieting turns off the metabolism. So I did all the arithmetic for BMR and found my true caloric needs. I vary that amount from day to day so my body doesn't get a chance to hold onto fat.

shortiemetoo
07-04-2005, 03:56 AM
I don't know if I'm out of line here, but also the type of diet you choose can have something to do with your success...
When I read articles about people who lose a lot of weight it is usually because they find a diet that "clicks" with them! I think our body chemistry has a lot to do with what type of diet will help us succeed!
Also some people can have a "bite of chocolate" or "three bites" of a rich dessert and not have any more. I would have 3 bites and then need three more desserts :dizzy: . I am a chococarbaholic lol!!!
But I think finding the key that will fit your lock will help!! If you are dieting on WW, maybe try body for life...If you are on Atkins, try South Beach...if you are counting calories, try WW....etc...find what works for you to help you control your weak points!!
Thanks for all the good information in your posts, I really enjoyed this one!