100 lb. Club - Nagging worries...

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06-21-2005, 02:14 AM
Anyone else have the nagging worry in the back of their minds that they will backslide? :(
I've been doing so well since March but the last few weeks I've been having a nagging worry that I will backslide into my old eating/not exercising patterns. Especially now since my Tae Kwon Do class will be taking an 6 week summer break after our June 28 test. :mad: (Classes will start back up August 19.) Happily there are fitness classes (pilates, step, sports conditioning, step aerobics, a "butts and guts class") being held in our gym during this time so I plan to take Cardio Kick class twice a week and perhaps give pilates a try, but still the worry is there. It is driving me nuts. ::sigh::

06-21-2005, 02:29 AM
I don't want this to come off as smug, especially coming from someone who's relatively new to the board and only 3 pounds into this whole thing. BUT...

To answer your question, no. It's not nagging in the back of my mind. But the second part of my statement is "this time".

I did a lot...a LOT of self analysis before I committed to changing my body for good this time around, and I realized that part of the reason I haven't succeeded in the past is that I've second guessed and doubted myself in the past. I've worried about backslides or caving to temptation or "cheating". As crazy as it sounds, I'm actually attempting to just eliminate those things from my realm of thinking, because for me they're counterintuitive.

There's a reason I used "cheating" in quotes back there. Because I don't think of what I'm doing now as staying on a diet or on a program or anything like that. I'm changing my life by exercising, first and foremost. As for the food, I think of it as eating as healthily as possible, reducing my fat and white food intake, and rediscovering the joys of fruits and vegetables. Basically, I'm doing what I can to cut the crap out of my life, and just eating normally if that makes sense. Normal eating means that yeah, every once in awhile I'm going to have a slice of birthday cake or hit the drive thru with my boyfriend on a road trip here or there.

But that's how life works, at least for me. My mistake in the past was trying to be too perfect and not allowing for normal life. If I went over my points or ate too many carbs or ___________ (insert whatever "cheat" applies to whatever diet I was on at the time), I figured it was over, I was backsliding, I might as well throw in the towel and make something for dinner that was covered in 16 kinds of cheese, maybe with a side order of cheese, and then a dessert consisting primarily of oh...cheese. Mixed with bacon, naturally.

But that was wrong. Those real life circumstances where I made choices or ate something that wasn't necessarily the best thing in the world happened, but then it was time to get back on the proverbial horse and keep riding.

So, in a very big nutshell, no I don't worry about backsliding. Anymore.

06-21-2005, 02:33 AM
I am trying hard to take it one day at a time & worry later. Normally if I have a bad minute, day, week, whatever I just give up altogether - this time I am trying to keep it in perspective & not set a standard of perfection for myself.

Hopefully if I can truly give myself a break in this perspective I'll be able to lose & then maintain.

I refuse to fight this for the rest of my life!

06-21-2005, 03:14 AM
I ABSOLUTELY have that fear in the back of my mind...a lot.....Everytime I shove something in my mouth without thinking. It's happening less and less, now.
The difference for me this time is that I can catch myself (most of the time) during that one bite and go Wait...what the **** are you doing?

It's hard to put total confidence in it...simply because I've failed so many times before.

I can say I completely agree with Satylite..that I'm changing my life this time, denying myself nothing in moderation, and making changes that are possible long term. I feel more positive than ever before...but I can't deny the little fear in the background. I'm just afraid of getting too cocky...I think.

You're far from alone!

06-21-2005, 04:07 AM
Like the others, I think it depends on how you define 'backslide'. What is interesting to me is that when I am deep in the throes of a healthy lifestyle (eating healthily, exercising regularly) I cannot imagine living any other way, because it makes me feel so good. However, I do have periods when 'I live the other way' - short periods albeit, but it happens. The longest has been a month, and the shortest a couple of days.......and it probably happens every 3 months or so. I can absolutely live with a couple of days backsliding every 3 months or so - and am working on making it only a couple of days, rather than a month.

So my advice is to mentally prepare yourself for when it will happen - because it probably will - and figure out what might help you to make it a backslide of a day or two, rather than a week! Somehow you have to able to get easily back on track, without making a big deal of it, and without beating yourself up.........

06-21-2005, 09:53 AM
Absolutely!!!!! I am there!!! During my pregnacy I did without junk food and anything sweet for the entire 9 months. I faithfully followed my diabetic diet and tested my sugar 4 x's a day during my last trimester (gestational diabetis). After it was all over and I was down 50 pounds, I gave away my old clothes and vowed that this new thin felt so good I would never go back. Well, I getting back there.....I'm up 30 pounds since I stopped nursing and I can't seem to find a "reason/motivation" to be faithful to my healthy choices like I had when pregnant. I know in my mind that my health is as important as my daughters was, but in my heart, I don't think I believe I deserve it.....
Anyway, at this point, I'm taking it one meal/day/bite at a time. My goal is to make positive choices, not be regimented. I want this lifestyle to become second nature, to be able to be active, eat, celebrate without the thoughts of "how many calories, can I, should I, etc". Although I will never be naturally thin....I want to live like someone who doesn't have "food issues". (BTW: My son and husband are naturally thin, think nothing about what they eat and I am so JEALOUS of that)

06-21-2005, 11:42 AM
Yes I do think about it at times. I am like Claire and can not imagine changing what I am doing now. However I have been there before and know that I did change back to the bad habits. I can say that it is different this time. Before I had a day where I ate what ever I wanted. Now I still have a treat day but I no longer eat whatever I want all day long. I just treat for one meal. I also no longer eat fast food on those days. That is a big one for me because I was a fast food addict. I sliped up the other week and got fast food and I could not believe the grease and salt in it. Made me really think about it and realize I do not want to eat that kind of food anymore. So allthough I do think about it I can see that I have changed inside this time and don't worry as much. Also the further you get the less you will have these thoughts.

06-21-2005, 12:58 PM
I think we all have that fear but it is in varying forms and degrees. As most have posted, it's all in how you handle that fear. I think as long as you have a plan in place and are able to notice when a slide is coming to be able to stop it in its tracks and move on.

06-21-2005, 03:48 PM
I worry constantly. I enjoy how I'm living at the moment, and I can't imagine changing and eating rubbish again, but I've never tried to lose weight before, so I can't predict with any certainty how I'll feel in the future. Maybe I'll be fine, but I hear so many stories about people putting back on the weight that they've lost, I worry that one day that will be me. I'm doing all in my power to prevent that, by focussing on my lifestyle and not trying to live by anyone else's rules in the hope that I can stick to my own rules more long term than someone else's. But I'm often scared that won't be enough.

My other fear is the enormity of the rest of my life. I'm 27 now. I think too much and I realise that even if I do this for 20 years (which is an amazingly long time to think about doing anything for), I still won't have hit 50 and will hopefully have many more years to come. I wonder whether there will ever be a time when this way of life is normal for me and I won't need to think about it, or whether I'll constantly be a former (hopefully not current!) fat person.

06-21-2005, 06:26 PM
Yes, I do have those fears as well. I think it is a normal part of change. Food is such a big part of society. Along with what many others have said, I think backslides will always be a part of my life but it is a matter of how I choose to deal with them. No longer do my lapses happen for months at a time - after an episode or even a day, I can pull myself back to treating my body well. As Howie noted, it is neat to be able to have foods that one had in the past and be completely disgusted by how they taste...greasy, salty or in my case with chocolate it is just wayyyy to sweet (and never ever did I think I would utter those words!). In my particular case, I think food and emotions are very intertwined and I am learning better ways to cope with fatigue, stress, sadness, anger, etc. rather than using food. I now use exercise to give me a pick me up. I think it is also a matter of raising one's consciousness by being aware of what I am eating and why - I didn't always have this ability to analyze my actions and reactions. In fact, I would have told you bold-faced that there was no interaction between my food choices and my emotions. I was, however, wrong. It is deeply connected. I think it helps coming here and getting and giving support. Keeps one thinking about what they are doing!

You are obviously in a healthy place by thinking about backslides and by planning what you are going to do with the extra time now that tae kwon do is over. Good for you. Keep coming here and keep talking - it helps us all stay focused!

06-22-2005, 01:50 AM
Thanks for all your helpful replies. Like YP1 I have never dieted seriously before (unless you count the week I tried the Zone diet but quit after I felt starved the whole time!) so this is pretty new to me.
This is a lifestyle change, not a diet. I allow myself to eat anything, I just pay close attention to the portion sizes now. If I want seconds at dinner I have seconds of vegetables instead of seconds of meat or bread/starchy foods like I would have previously. I eat mainly whole grains and try to keep refined stuff out of the house. My family has no issues with that, of course even if they did it would be tough bananas for them as I do all the food shopping. LOL
Not that I'm saying I do perfectly with my meals, I still tend to skip meals if I am rushed for time and I sometimes when I log my food for the day I realize very little fruits or vegetables have crossed my lips. But now I see that and can adjust accordingly. Its all part of learning to treat my body respectfully by giving it nutricious food and daily exercise.
I don't worry too much anymore about the eating side of my life. Of course, I have things I would like to improve but little baby steps have gotten me this far and will take me farther if I only have the patience.
My main worry, and the reason I posted, is that I'm going to start skimping on my exercise when TKD takes a break and then I'll have to start all over again. And boy did those TKD classes kick my A** when I first started! Doing 50 situps (or 50 pushups!) is a huge challenge when you haven't done any in forever! Now I can whiz through them, granted I'm still usually the last one done but it takes me a lot less time than before.
I think my main issue, causing all my worry (and whining) is that I actually enjoy exercising now and really, really, really look forward to my TKD classes. So I am really upset that my beloved TKD is taking that time off. Actually annoyed would be correct, maybe even a touch angry, and I feel like a big cry baby that it bugs me so much.
Well, maybe now that I've gotten that off my chest I'll feel better and stop worrying so much. Thanks for listening everyone, I really appreciate it!

06-27-2005, 01:48 PM
Have you noticed when you do slip that things don't taste the same to you anymore? Chocolate isn't as decadently lucious when you have been away from it for a while. Even fat in frying food gets to smell nasty after a while of clean eating. That part makes it great. It gives me hope that I can make this lifestyle change permanant, even if I do choose to slip with a treat now and then.

06-27-2005, 04:25 PM
Have you noticed when you do slip that things don't taste the same to you anymore? Chocolate isn't as decadently lucious when you have been away from it for a while. Even fat in frying food gets to smell nasty after a while of clean eating. That part makes it great. It gives me hope that I can make this lifestyle change permanant, even if I do choose to slip with a treat now and then.

Chocolate still tastes wonderful to me so I don't keep it around the house but treat myself to a 3 Musketeers bar every so often or buy the Kashi GoLean Peanutbutter chocolate meal bars to eat while at work. But I know what you mean about the fried food smelling and looking yucky. The other day I was sooooo hungry while I was at work and couldn't wait to have some grilled chicken with lots of veggies! MMM-carrots and broccoli :doh: Before I would have been wanting a big mac and fries.