100 lb. Club - I Have to Do This

View Full Version : I Have to Do This

06-12-2005, 07:18 PM
I don't know where to start. Actually, in more ways than one... I don't know where to start.

I have been heavy my ENTIRE life. I can honestly never remember being below 200 lbs. I have been on almost every diet & pill to try to lose weight. Starvation? Done that too. There is nothing I haven't done to lose weight... nothing, that is, except for the right thing. WW didn't work for me.. I don't know why, though my sister lost almost 100 lbs. Atkins worked for a while but was too hard for me to stick with. Pills made me nervous. Etc, etc, etc.

I woke up Thursday morning with such an urge to lose weight & having to do it NOW. So, I researched a few diet plans that I hadn't tried yet. Nothing. Reading a little more online tonight, I've decided that with the lifestyle we have to lead due to my daughter's disability, that I need to learn to eat all over again. Not necessarily any certain kind of food... we eat healthy foods. We just eat an enormous insane amount of food. :o I haven't felt hunger in years. And that's sad. I'm big. My dh is big. My dd is going to be big if I don't do something now. And my ds is so thin that he looks like we steal all his food from him. He's 7. He told me once not long ago that if I really wanted to lose weight that I needed to learn to quit eating when I'm almost full. My 7 year old son told me that. I asked where he heard it & he said that his brain told him. He has always been very insightful. But for him to tell me that really opened my eyes.

I am miserable. I am at my highest non-pregnancy weight. One day last week I had two pairs of capris bust out in the same day. It would be funny if it didn't make me feel so... so... fat. I cried all evening. Dh did what he could, but still he couldn't make me feel any better. He wants to buy me an outfit for our 9 year anniversary tomorrow, but I won't let him. I'M TIRED OF WEARING FAT PEOPLE CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mad:

I'm starting tomorrow. I will get to the new me. How am I going to do it? I'm going to only eat when I'm hungry. And like my son said, I'm going to stop eating when I'm almost full. Sounds simple, I know. Especially to people with no weight problem. But I don't know how easy it will really be. Food has always been my comforter. My friend. My love. And to give that up is going to be so hard. But I'm tired of letting it control me. I'm the one that should have the control. But for as long as I can remember, food has been my god.

I already exercise every day so I'll just step it up some. I know that it will come off slowly. But I also know that IT WILL come off. This time it has to. I mean, this is the lowest point in my life where my weight has been concerned. So, it has to work. Right? :?:

06-12-2005, 08:16 PM
Hi, Stephanie. :wave:

Congratulations on taking the plunge. I also have a problem with over-eating and I wish you well in conquering that demon.

Food has also been my love, but I recognise it's been no friend to me. :no: I have major issues with food and I'm working to develop a much healthier relationship with it. I've never really understood that feeling of being "satisfied" that others speak of. I seem to only feel two things: hunger (or rather appetite, to be precise and honest) and being stuffed to bursting. I think there is something missing in my brain that is supposed to tell me when to stop eating. :(

That's the main reason I can't cope with any eating regime that allows me unlimited quantities of anything other than vegetables (I still weigh and count things like peas, sweetcorn, etc.) because it's portion size I need to get to grips with.

:ziplip: Eh, sorry, I didn't mean to turn this into being about me....

Welcome. :) Join in the challenges here and post your food intake in the Journal Buddy thread for all to see! Doing that is really helping me to stay on track.

06-12-2005, 10:05 PM
Hi Stephanie and welcome to our world! You may say you don't know where to start, but I firmly believe that by coming here you've made a great start. We definitely know where you're coming from and are more than willing to share our experiences, our ideas and our support. :)

P.S. - I see big things in your son's future! ;)

06-12-2005, 10:15 PM
:wave: Hi, welcome to the boards. You'll meet alot of great people here!

I'm new also, from the first post I made I have felt very welcome. It has helped me alot already to have people to talk to who understand being overweigh (obese-how I hate that word, especially since it applies to me!) We are all here to help each other on our journeys to a healthy weight, best of all we have fun on the way. :) If you need a good laugh, just read the "Bikini Area Question" posts.
I recommend posting here alot!! Use the boards as a way to replace your "friend" food with us, your online friends. We are much, much more fun!

06-12-2005, 10:19 PM
Laura's right on--posting a lot is the key! Welcome to the forum, Stephanie.

06-12-2005, 11:44 PM
Welcome, Stephanie! Every time I read a newbie's post, I could just cry because I see myself in every one. Being here is the right first step.

If you're anything like me in your urgency to lose weight, please remember that it won't be fast. I, like you, woke up one morning, couldn't find anything to put on that fit and swore right then and there that I would lose weight come **** or high water. We can't wish it away though. It's such a long road, but one worth taking. I still wake up every morning fat, but little by little, more things in my closet fit. My pants are baggy now, not busting at the seams. And some day I know I'll be where I can only now imagine myself to be. I would do anything to have that day be tomorrow, but I have accepted that it will take time and I have to find joy in the little signs that crop up from time to time that tell me I'm making meaningful changes.

I wish nothing but the best for you! Please come here often and let us get to know you!

06-13-2005, 03:59 AM
Hi Stephanie, and welcome

I echo Cecily's point......it takes time, this journey, and it has its ups and its downs.....but the people you have found here will really make it an easier, and more enjoyable route! There are many people here who can support, inspire and just occasionally nag you to a healthier life!

Post often, and dont be a stranger....

06-13-2005, 05:32 AM
Hi there, welcome aboard, as you have seen already we are all really friendly, and we're all in the same boat!!! When I started this, I was the fattest person I knew, and I felt like I was the only one facing the same demons with food, and who felt butt scared at the task in front of me.

Having this forum has made ALL the difference to me.

Well done on taking the first step


06-13-2005, 09:23 AM
welcome! I remember when I started this journey feeling very similar to you. I was overweight all my life even as a child. I was never able to stick to any diets or weightloss efforts until this time but something clicked in me and I firmly believe it was m,y children. What I cannot do with my own willpower I overcome with love for my children. My oldest son started school and I did not want him to get picked on by other kids because his mom was so fat. I didnt want to put him in the position of defending his mom to kids. That thought got me througha few rough patches. I dont follow a diet plan but made one of my own that is bascially slow and steady lifestyle changes. You can do it and there will be times it will be a minute by minute thing but just keep trying. And dont feel like you have failed if you slip just get back up and get moving again! Good luck and please ask many questions!

06-13-2005, 10:23 AM
Hi Stephanie & Welcome!

I truly believe the difference for us this time will be making this place home. There is just a wealth of info and the camaraderie is comforting and motivating.

Everyone has been in our shoes, some have ran their way to their own personal finish line/goal...or like us, are just getting started and tying our shoes...or in my case, making sure the shoes are on the right feet! :lol:

06-13-2005, 10:43 AM
Stephanie I am so feelin you right now. You whole entry reads what my heart was sayin about 2 months ago. Sounds to me like your fed up, and all I can say is congrats, for making the decision to get started. It's a long hard road, but it worth it. Take it slow making small changes at first. Anything you can do for a month straight you can make it a habit. If thats going for a walk in the evening. Warning don't deprive yourself of too much too fast. (**** I messed up yesterday, but today is a new day.) You will mess up but you can't say "forget it" just try to do better the next day. JUST GET MOVING!
God Bless

06-13-2005, 10:53 AM
Hi, Stephanie. :)

Welcome to the 100lb. Club. If you stick around and participate the people, knowledge, and inspiration here will blow you away. Our 'accountability' threads such as the points challenge, weekly journal buddy thread, and weekly weigh-in are fantastic. Don't be shy! Good luck.

06-13-2005, 01:06 PM
Hi and welcome. I ditto you made the right first step by coming here.
I too am a compulsive overeater and when I've been binging have problems learning to tune in to my hunger clock.

A couple of tips that have helped me along the way so far:
1. I measure my food to proper portions. If I'm still hungry I get seconds (and sometimes thirds) on low calorie veggies. I eat whatever I feed the family.

2. I log all that I eat in www.fitday.com (I write down what I eat on the weekends so I can keep a somewhat accurate picture of how much I eat).

3. I try to get in at least 10 minutes of exercise a day. I strive for 30 but I figure I can put in 10 minutes a day.

4. I try to make small changes in my lifestyle to help me get healthy.

I know a lot of people either love him or hate him but Dr. Phill has a ton of great advice in his Ultimate weight loss solution book. I find that when I'm not eating healthy I have let those foods get in my house that allow me to pig out on them. (If they wouldn't have been in the house I wouldn't have eaten them)

I think you have the right attitude in understanding this has to be a lifestyle change. I've noticed on here that those who do this mostly to be a healthier person seem to have better success at losing weight because they aren't soley focused on a number on the scale. (I'm not one of these unfortunately and I'm a slave to my scale sometimes.)

Please post often. You never know who else might be lurking or posting and need the encouragement or words of wisdom you could provide.

06-13-2005, 01:15 PM
Welcome to our club Stepahnie!

I started my journey in January of this year, feeling the same as you. I re-found this site in March and it has helped me along my 'weigh'. Wonderful people and extraordinary knowledge!

06-13-2005, 04:41 PM
We all need to feel like we belong. That is basic to human nature. Here, you can know you are with others who really do understand, and because we do understand, we care. Welcome to a home where you can know you matter.

06-14-2005, 01:30 AM
Welcome Stephanie!

Everyone else is so right.. the first step is coming here - there you don't need to think about where to start - YOU'VE STARTED! :D

Remember, jump in on all the challenges and if you do have a "slip", we're all here for each other.. Share all your accomplishments and weak moments. It will give you the strength and encouragement to keep going! We're all here for the same goal and will accomplish it together!

Best of Luck!