Support Groups - Sanctuary - #24 Everyone Welcome

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06-12-2005, 10:56 AM

What we really want in a weight loss support group, boils down to one concept; we are looking for a sanctuary.

Sanctuary means different things to different people. Sanctuary is a place of peace, rest, safety, and rejuvenation. It keeps our spirit and our sanity intact.

Many of us who have a long journey down the weight loss path find ourselves in need of a break. Sometimes our bodies crave it, and sometimes the choice isn't ours, but circumstances forces it upon us. Other times, we need the clamoring throng to cheer us along our way as we breeze past milestones and overcome obstacles.

Sanctuary can be all that as well. It is what you need and when you need it. Sanctuary can be found in good friends who aren’t afraid of your truths and in an open, honest atmosphere.

Sanctuary isn’t judgmental, neither does it discriminate or ask to be censured. It is open to anyone with a desire to share, and especially those in need of and willing to offer support

06-12-2005, 11:31 AM
Tricia, how sad for your friend. I don't think we stress enough in our society how dangerous driving is and that we all need to be careful and responsible. People, of all ages, seem to think they are super human when they drive and nothing will happen to them. Can you tell I have been in the Cities again????
I don't know what happened in your friends family accident but you hit a nerve with me after fearing for my life all weekend driving in the Cities!!!! :mad:

Circumscising Addie, that will be a fun story to tell her one day!!!

Good job for Will, learning to swim. Of course, now he will just want to go swimming more!!! :)

CONGRATS on the 3 lb loss. I am jealous but then I haven't done anything to cause a weight loss so ... I am trying to get over my "so just give it up and be fat" thoughts I have been having lately.

Kat, Pick yourself up, dust yourself off - that is what I have to do too.

I don't know why I set myself up for failure all the time - better get back to reading Dr. Phil - I tried the South Beach Diet - then got the flu. I think there is a correlation. ;)

Actually, there is too much putsing (sp) with food and I hate it so why I thought this time would be different I don't know. It wasn't.

I just hate buying and preparing food - maybe one day that will change but for now that is how it is. So, back to Lean Cusine type meals for me. At least it controls my portions.

I also have to get back to figuring out why I want to solve everything with food and fix those things.

Gloria, I feel your pain with the paperwork. I handle my Dad's and it is never ending and makes me scream many days.

I had a co-worker with colon cancer that worked half days for three days a week. It isn't bad enough he was dying but when he came in he would spend much of his time on the phone with the insurance company trying to straighten out his billings and payments. I always had the urge to crab the phone from him and scream, "What the he!! is wrong with you this man is dying can't you get anything right?????"

One of my best friends daughter got married Friday so I went to the wedding. My friend was diagnosed with stage 4, inoperable breast cancer last September so there had been some fear she wouldn't be here for her daughters wedding so it was so good to be there with all of them. My friend is actually doing well.

The wedding was in a mansion next to our govenors mansion so whenever you walked outside cameras would follow you!!!!

I did get to see some people I haven't seen in awhile. I was shocked and saddened that they had all put on a lot of weight. I thought, "shouldn't this make me happy that they are just like me", but it didn't. I kept thinking I have to lose this weight to get healthy so I can live to be 120 - and have fun dancing.

Gloria, are you still belly dancing?

Well, I am back now - no where to go for a few weeks and semi caught up on my new job.

I guess there is no more excuses - time to lose weight.

So, are we back to an exercise challenge? My goal is to exercise 30 min a day for 5 days. H E L P

Back later.

06-12-2005, 12:11 PM
Lucky, I am sorry that you are struggling so with losing weight. I know how frustrating it is when you realize you need to lose weight, you want to lose weight, you know how to lose weight, but for some reason still make bad food choices and don't exercise enough. I, for one, have spent an awful lot of time and effort trying to figure out what makes me tick in that department.

I realized back in December that I was putting way to much thought into the why's and how's of my weight and it was distracting me from doing anything about it. I happen to be this way in most aspects of my life. I'm a planner, I make a lot of to-do lists. But, I spend so much time mapping out a plan that I sometimes don't get to the actual task. Call it procrastination, avoiding uncomfortable things, or just plain lazy it is something I have had to stop doing in order to get things done. I always hated that stupid "Just Do It" slogan but, I'll be damned, it is that mentality that finally got me on track.

Amazingly enough, once I quit trying to figure out why I wanted to eat so much and just stopped eating so much was when I started to lose weight. The interesting thing, though, is that now that I've lost some weight the ins and outs of my relationship with food have become much more clear. I see things now that I never noticed before. I guess before I started to lose weight I couldn't see the forest for the trees, so to speak.

I know that you might not relate to any of this. But, you might, so I thought I would mention it. Sometimes I think the best course to lose weight is to stop THINKING about losing weight. Use tunnel vision for a while - concentrate on making the right choices and don't worry about why you have such an urge to make the wrong ones. Once you have made it down the path a bit you'll be more confident in your ability to do the right things and you can start looking around and figuring out all of those mental and emotional obstacles that you face. Then you can switch your focus to making sure those road blocks don't keep you from reaching your goal or cause a relapse once you do.

You can lose this weight, Lucky. I know you can and we will cheer you on all the way.

06-12-2005, 07:45 PM
I'm a planner, I make a lot of to-do lists. But, I spend so much time mapping out a plan that I sometimes don't get to the actual task.

Tricia, that is SO me. I realized I enjoy planning more than doing !!!

So your Sometimes I think the best course to lose weight is to stop THINKING about losing weight. Use tunnel vision for a while - concentrate on making the right choices and don't worry about why you have such an urge to make the wrong ones. was a light bulb moment for me.

I am going to start slow this week and watch what I eat - keep it healthy and exercise. You are right, the more I think about what I should and shouldn't eat the more I am in the kitchen looking for something to eat or planning what I deserve to eat.

06-12-2005, 10:31 PM
Oh, I feel so much better! I re-read my post and was afraid that it sounded really preachy. I had planned to pop back in and explain that preaching wasn't my intention and then got caught up getting the kids out the door to go swimming. I am so glad you read what I wrote the way I intended it.

We had a great time at the pool. So much fun, in fact, that we didn't get home until almost 6. I hadn't let the kids get any snacks while we were there so they were starving by the time we got home. The fastest thing I had to fix for dinner was shrimp. I tried a new recipe and it was really easy and super good. Give it a try if you are a shrimp lover.

1.5 pounds large shrimp, peeled and deveined, tail-on

(I actually buy a two pound bag from Sams. The brand is Members Mark and the shrimp are uncooked, tail-on, already cleaned, and flash frozen. They are very good and make shrimp recipes so much easier).

1 quarter cup olive oil
1 quarter cup lemon juice
1 Tablespoon minced garlic
Parsley (recipe calls for 3 Tablespoons chopped but I just used a good sprinkle of dried)
Red Pepper flakes to taste (optional)

Mix everything up and marinade the shrimp for 30 minutes. Grill or broil 1-2 minutes on each side.

I also came across an easy cocktail sauce recipe that I used that we thought was much better than what you can buy in the stores.

6 Tablespoons ketchup
2 Tablespoons horseradish (not prepared)
1/8 teaspoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon brown sugar

Mix it all up and start dipping!

It is bedtime for the kids so I am off. Hope you all have a great night!


06-13-2005, 09:49 AM
Any advice on how I can teach my children to be honest people without being honest to a fault? Here's what has come from the mouth of my babes just this week:

Addie (walking in the bathroom just as I'm getting in the shower): "Mommy, now I know what your boobies look like. They look like a cow's boobies!" Poor thing. Even at four she must have picked up my stress because she waved her hands and shook her head saying, "No, no, no, Mommy, I just mean because cow's boobies hang down real low and make milk and yours hang down real low too and you used to give us milk just like them." At this point, I can only laugh. After all, she is right. Damnit.

Will: "Mom, do I eat enough vegetables?" I explain he could prbably eat a few more to which he responds, "Maybe I'll eat a few more because I want to be healthy. But not too many more - I don't want to start out as fat as you used to be." Okay, that stung. But at least the "used to be" part made it bearable.

Addie: "Mommy, why is your stomach so FLOPPY?" Okay, this I can handle because after twins I'd have a floppy stomach even if I were thin. I explain how she and Jake stretched out my tummy while they grew inside. I think this is over. No. Everyone she talks to now gets the story of how her mommy's stomach is sooooo floppy because she and Jake kicked around inside. She really has a knack for empasizing the floppy part of her story.

Greg was putting sunscreen on my back and commented that I was starting to get brown. He joked, "You are getting skinny and tan - your planning to leave me aren't you?" "Yeah," I laughed, "for a guy that likes floppy stomachs and cow titties." He laughed a little TOO hard at that joke. Just for that I ought to make him pay for a tummy tuck and a breast lift. That'll show him.

Off to get the kids' breakfast. Have a great day!

06-13-2005, 10:07 AM
Hey there ladies, hey Trish! :)

(I've chatted with Trish on another *dying* thread ... You know how people get busy and threads just evaporate at times, after a few months, sadly ...:( )

I'm wondering if I might join you ladies on this one? I'm a Granny from Raleigh, NC but my son & family live in Mass. so I don't see them as often as I'd like, though I am very close to my seven-year old granddaughter. I moved away from North Carolina as a teenager but came back about 14 years ago, when my DH retired from one company and started a new career at another one here in the Triangle (now retired from that one! :D).

Weight-wise, as of a couple of weeks ago, I had lost 45 lbs. since my birthday last June, exercise 5-6 days a week ........... water aerobics, weights & biking, long walks. I have been slipping the last couple of weeks........... summertime activities, company, family stress, am now getting ready for a vacation to Florida for 12 days, starting Friday, then back here for a couple of days. Then my son flies in and we go to Asheville for a long 4th of July weekend.

I am TERRIFIED!!!:devil: I have to get my head back in gear. I am up by 3 to 5 pounds, and I JUST CAN'T DO THIS!!! (Keep eating things I shouldn't, I mean!:mad: ) When I socialize with people, I think I just have to pig-out, and I have a lot of socializing going on right now. That's not how I lost this weight!!!!!!!!!! I have controlled myself for a year; I can keep doing it!!! I also have a bizarre scenario where someone who is supposed to love me is furious at my success on this program, and is being vicious and hurtful and underhanded (and knows all the buttons to push!) I am just STUNNED!!! Well, not really. I've seen this behavior in her toward others but ............ :(

Okay, no more whining! I haven't gone back and read all your posts, but I will try to catch up later.

Trish, I do shrimp almost exactly like you're describing. I believe you could marinate an old shoe in olive oil, lemon juice and herbs .......... it would be wonderful, don't you think???:D

My goal today is to eat no more than 1200 calories (I usually try to do 1400, end up with 1800, but I have been a PIG this weekend!), do water aerobics tonight, plus the weight room. Gotta get some of these added pounds off before Friday, when we leave for Savannah (one night there, then on to Florida...).

Thanks for listening to me, ladies! I appreciate it, and hope I can be some support to all of you. :flow2: Have a great day!

06-13-2005, 10:16 AM
:D :lol: :D :lol: Hysterical! Kids do say the DARNDEST things, Trish!!!:o My granddaughter loves to get this sly, little grin on her face, and then tease me about being *chubby.* Of couse, she also tells me she LOVES chubby grannies, NOT skinny grannies, and seriously doesn't want me to lose too much! So sweet, she says, "Granny, I love you just the way you are!" :) Talk about heart-melting...........:)

You are a hoot, Trish (and I think your kids are taking after you!):D Have a wonderful day, and put some tape over all those little lips!:lol:

5 dogs
06-13-2005, 10:39 AM
Still not done with the lawsuit paper work, but did put a good dent in it. I'm also trying to get Social Security Disability and the government wants the when, why, where and what of my life for the past 15 years. Its a good thing hubby is a pack rat when it comes to saving info. There have been many a day when i would get so mad at him for saving EVERYTHING. I mean, when you live in a small house, you are limited by how much stuff you can collect and save. Now that i need all that info I'm glad he saved it.

Had a good weekend this past week. My dog Gretchen is about 12 years old and last week she started having trouble with her bowels. To put it in a nice way, she was NOT constipated in anyway. Even though we would go for a walk at night so she could do her business, i would wake up in the morning to small piles of poop here and there on my area rug in the living room. So Carl dragged the rug outside and with bucket and brush in hand, he started to scrub it. I was helping by keeping the hose handy and when ever he needed water, i would let him have it. Of course this turned into a water fight and i got him real good when he was bent over on his hands and knees and butt in air scrubbing away, but then he dumped soapy water on me and all i had on was a T-shirt with no braw and white cotton pants. I felt like a kid again.

Lucky, i haven't been able to attend the belly dancing classes in a couple of months. My upper body movements are getting more and more restrictive, and since trying to paint my bedroom last month, my arms stay at my side most of the time. Because i cant take the classes at the Y anymore, about the only thing i can do is the pool and there have been times that i had to leave a class because i was in just to much pain. So, i have canceled my membership at the Y. I still can ride old blue and am thankful that the only muscles i use is from the wast down.

Still have lots to do today so will go for now.
Have a good one.

06-13-2005, 11:42 AM
Bonnie, I am so glad you found us over here! Of course, you are welcome to join us. As a matter of fact, I was going to mention this thread to you. Maybe Selina will pop back in and come on over too. You will really enjoy getting to know everyone here. I can honestly say that these ladies have been a significant part of my weight loss success. Each and every one of them has supported, motivated, and inspired me at one time or another. Oh, and did I mention that they are lots of fun to hang out with? :D

Gloria, I am happy you took a break from the grind you've been dealing with. It sounds like you and Carl had a great day together. I don't know anyone else who could turn dog poop into a party! :lol: I don't know what got into me but about a year ago I picked up a couple of bags of water balloons. The kids and I filled them all up and stashed them in various places around the back yard while Greg was at work. When he came home we abmushed him like you wouldn't believe. The kids SOAKED him. Karma bit me in the butt though. All of the ones I threw landed at his feet and didn't break so he wound up with quite and aresenol of his own. I was still really fat back then and couldn't run very fast. You can guess what happened next. Of course, I was wearing a dark shirt AND a bra so Greg didn't get the added bonus of a wet T-shrit constest! ;)

I made it to the gym this morning. I'll say it again, I may end up a morning person yet! I love getting home and having the whole day ahead of me without having to worry about when I'm going to fit exercising in - or making excuses not to. Plus, I get to watch the sun come up. I haven't gotten to do that since my college days. Even then it was only because we didn't roll in from all the parties until after day break! :o What I wouldn't give to have THAT kind of energy these days. Meeeemories light the corners of myyyyy miiind. Misty water colored meeeeemories of theee waay weee WERE :p

Okay, everybody, eat well today and move those bodies when you can! :drill:


5 dogs
06-13-2005, 02:14 PM
Welcome Bonnie, my name is Gloria and as you can see by my signature i have 5 dogs. I was wondering what part of Florida you are heading for your vacation? I don't want to scare you, but you might want to check the weather down here before taking off. Its tornado season and i wouldn't want you to get stuck somewhere and not be able to get back home. Hubby (Carl) and i have lived here in Florida in the same house for the past 25 years and hope to move to upper Georgia in about 3 years when we retire.

Have you ever heard of Murphy N.C.? Carl and i had a small vacation home there about 5 years ago and it was during that time that we knew we wanted to retire in N.C. or close to it. What a beautiful state North Carolina is.

I have two grown children but as yet, no grandkids. My son (Will) is 28 and has been married to a wonderful woman for 5 years. My DIL just graduated from college where she got her Ph.D. and soon they will be moving to Texas where she will be teaching.

My daughter (Jamie) is 26 and is going to school in Prescott Az. and wants to become a licensed sign language interpreter. She is engaged to a man she met while in Iraq and both Carl and i like this man very much.

My favorite form of exercise is riding my bike which i call old blue.

Even though this is a weight support group, these wonderful ladies have helped me in so many more ways. I think i would have given up on myself a long time ago if it hadn't been for Sanctuary. Its comforting to know that we can talk about anything and no one will judge you. Its just a great place to be.

Must get back to the dang, stinking paper work so will sign off for now.

06-13-2005, 09:00 PM
Tricia, you have to save those "kids" comments and then live long enough to throw them back at them!!! :lol:

A girl I work with gets HUGE when pregnant. One day her son said, "Hey, Mom, now you look as big from the back as you do from the front"!!! Those darlings are so sweet!!!!

Welcome, Bonnie. It looks like you can be another inspiration for me. I really struggle with this weight loss crap.

Gloria I am glad you can still ride old blue - we love the stories - I hear thunder so I am shutting this down for now.

Hope to get back later.

06-13-2005, 10:31 PM
Yeah, Lucky, my mom savors each and every word the kids spew! She keeps telling me that pay back is SWEET. LOL. I remind her that she did not qualify for long term care insurance so she should hope that she never finds herself in need of around the clock care - cause then we'll just see how sweet pay back REALLY is!

Now, speaking of this weight loss crap (such an appropriate term!), I've been doing really well since raising my calories to 1600-1800 average each day. I attribute it all to having switched my workout to first thing in the mornings. I think there is something to the notion that you go straight to burning fat if you exercise early and on an empty stomach. BUT - nothing lasts forever and I think I may have to go back to 1500 next week if I want to keep my momentum going. I have to admit I'm a little disappointed. I've still been eating reasonably but I've come to enjoy my little extras over the past couple of weeks. It will be hard to cut them out. But, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. My light at the end of the tunnel will be that once I get to my goal weight I'll likely be able to eat in this higher range and still maintain.

Greg will be out of town tomorrow night. He doesn't travel as much as he used to so I enjoy it now when he's gone for a night or two. I miss him, of course, but it is nice to have a couple of days with a less structured routine. I don't have to plan dinners, or get dressed if I don't want to (not that I HAVE to do that when he is here but I feel bad if he comes home for lunch and I am still in my pajamas). Plus, all three kids load up in my bed and we snuggle and sleep late in the mornings. Oh, and lets not forget that once they are asleep I can get back up and watch chick flicks until 2 o'clock in the morning!

Well, the diswasher isn't going to unload itself so I guess I have to run. Have a great night all!


06-14-2005, 12:00 PM
:) Happy Tuesday, ladies! Thank you, Trish, Gloria and Lucky, for the warm welcome. It is much appreciated!

I feel better today, because, instead of being five pounds up, I have now dropped back to two up (191)!:dizzy: For a couple of days, I had that old out-of-control thinghy lurking at the back of my mind, frightening me.:devil: I tried to stay at 1200 cals. yesterday but with going to water aerobics at the YMCA (they switched us to the outdoor pool because someone apparently pooped in the indoor pool, accidentally!:o), I became so hungry that I ended up at 1700 before all was said and done. Was doing real well until I went to my diet buddy's down the street late last night to play Hand and Foot. Her 15 year old niece was visiting, she wanted to make her visit more fun, so she made popcorn. (Yes, I ate some ... maybe 220 cals. worth.:p ) Anyhooo, if I'm real good today ... will shoot for a realistic 1400 today ... maybe by the time I leave for Florida Friday, I will be at 189 again.:^:

Gloria, yes, I am familiar with Murphy, NC. North Carolina is so beautiful in most areas, and you have just about everything but the desert here!!! I love it.... my DH talks of living elsewhere, but it would be hard not to be a Tar Heel, as I was born here. (And you don't want to get me started on my U. N. C. Tar Heels, NCAA 2005 BASKETBALL CHAMPS!!!:D :lol: :D ) Florida weather is in the back of our minds .......... but we knew that when we planned the trip ... I saw something about a depression somewhere near Santa Domingo or such such place this morning, so I just turned it off!!! That way, it can't happen!:D

Gloria, our doggie is an almost 16 (in October) Cairn Terrier, who is the sweetest little creature on earth. I sympathize with your Gretchen problems.... we joke that if a person did, in our house, what Trissie does, we would throw them out of the house immediately!:lol: We are devoted to him, have almost 200,000 FF miles unused because he can't fly with us. (Some of my family thinks we are certifiable because we won't leave him in a kennel - he gets really distraught and can't function -, and only take driving vacations.) But that is our choice ... he has given us so much joy, love and companionship, we would not desert him now!:(

Trish, sounds like you are loving your morning exercise. That is the trick to this weight thing, I believe. Learning to LOVE your routine .... otherwise it won't fly. I think it's the water aerobics that have really kept me going (as well as my diet buddy) ..... I love the water, and that it helps to shape and tone me as I lose weight is such a bonus!:) Keep up the good work .... sounds like you're in a good zone now, eating and weight-loss wise. Enjoy your time while your DH is traveling; I know exactly what you mean. You enjoy some semi-private time when they're gone now and then ... and you're happy to see them when they come back.

Lucky, I am so glad you started this group. Sanctuary is a very neat concept for the thread. I hope you are doing well with your 30 min. a day exercise pledge; it is getting so hot here in Raleigh that it's a challenge if I want to do my walk every other morning .... every-other because I get knee pain if I overdo. Like today, I overslept, and then it was too warm to go walking. When it's getting up to 97 degrees, you can't walk at 10 o'clock, you have to be out by 7!!!

Guess it's time to go for my physical so best get off here. Already had the bloodwork last week, and I'm wondering what he will say about the palpitations I've been having when I work out in the water. No pain, no pressure, just a little gasp/breath cut-off at times. Happened once when I was walking ... I'm hoping it's just the way I'm breathing .... but I'm thinking I'll be having an EKG and maybe a stress test, as my doc is cautious... I don't think it's anything serious but ...:?:

Have a wonderful day, girls, and thank you again for allowing me in to your little circle! :flow2:

5 dogs
06-14-2005, 11:14 PM
I must say, Bonnie, that you have an interesting way of looking at a possible hurricane or tornado hitting Florida while your on vacation. I should have thought of that two years ago when we had five hurricanes in a row.
(I saw something about a depression somewhere near Santa Domingo or such such place this morning, so I just turned it off!!! That way, it can't happen!)

I thought i was having a good day today till i went over one more time all the paper work I've collected for my lawsuit. I missed a question where i had to produce W-2s and income tax returns for the past seven years. When Carl came home tonight and i asked him if he knew were 2002 and 2003 W-2s were, well he started looking but they were no where to be found. After looking for about two hours, Carl found them sitting next to the computer. Don't know how they got there, but now he's all pissed off at me.

I did get on old blue this morning and had a good ride to the produce stand. Picked up a head of cabbage but don't know what I'm going to do with it yet. It just looked good, so i bought it.

Time for bed so will say good night for now.

06-15-2005, 12:30 AM
Gloria, the tornadoes and hurricanes come after us here in N.C. too. Fran was really something; my neighborhood looked like a war zone when we walked out the next morning! My niece lives in St. Petersburg .... and she says you might as well not worry about them coming as you can't stop them, just prepare as best you can. So I'm just refusing to worry about it ... I know a hurricane could ruin our vacation but I refuse to think about it until/unless it happens! That's life, isn't it?

Gloria, I have three cabbages from my brother's garden, and I'm going to have to give them away if I don't cook them before Friday. I love cooked cabbage, cole slaw ... just about any way you make it! In fact, you've reminded me that I should make one of them tomorrow ...

Have a good night!

06-15-2005, 09:29 AM
MMMM, cabbage. I love it too. I made some really good cabbage rolls a year or so ago but the kids wouldn't even look at them, much less eat them so I haven't made them since. Too bad since Greg said they were much better than the ones his mother makes - and he's bragged on hers forever (which is why I gave them a shot to begin with. I'd never even had them before.). My mom used to shred it and use half for cole slaw and would stir fry the rest with a little soy sauce and a sprinkle of sweet and low. We'd eat it as a side dish with pepper steak or somtimes use it in place of the rice.

Boy, am I excited. I took Daisy out this morning and picked my first tomato of the summer. It will have to ripen inside another day or two - I've looked at it and tugged a little every day since it blushed - it probably just finally gave up and jumped off the vine. Anyway, I should be able to harvest every few days at this point. I've got one fully blushed and another about half blushed so they should all be ready to pick pretty much one after the other from this point on. My peppers (bell and jalepeno) are going crazy. I can't pick those fast enough.

I feel horribly bloated this morning thanks to a much saltier than usual dinner last night. I had promised to take the kids to see The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D after Will's karate awards ceremony. They finished a lot earlier than I expected so we had a little more than an hour to kill. I took them to there favorite Mexican restaurant. Okay, MY favorite Mexican restaurant - but they love it too. I didn't eat too badly, a little bit of queso, and for dinner a taco with rice and about half of the beans. What I think is so funny is that this would have BARELY been an appetizer for me 6 months ago. And, to be perfectly honest, I could have stopped at the queso and been perfectly satisfied. But I would say that the bigger milestone is that I don't feel at all guilty about having a reasonable dinner out even though it is a lot more calories/fat than normal. There have been plenty of "diets" that I would have considered a meal like that a "slip" and just quit all together. Of course, now I realize that back then I just WANTED to quit and looked for the lousiest but easiest excuse I could find. LOL.

It is breakfast time at my house so I gotta run. You all have a great day!


06-16-2005, 10:21 PM
I miss you guys.

I have been trying to catch up on this new job I have and it is killing me. I have been doing 12 and 14 hour days plus bringing stuff home to do.

I HATE THIS. Oh, well I should have my life back to normal in a couple weeks. Of course, then I have vacation and back to being behind.

Tomorrow night we are having a family get together - one of my uncles will be here from Indiana.

I will definately catch up this weekend.

Keep posting so I have something to read!!!!

06-19-2005, 09:05 PM
How is everybody?

We've had the usual busy summer weekend. We had our new windows put in upstairs. I never knew how exciting windows could be. Man, I LOVE these things. I can't wait until we can afford to do the downstairs too.

I haven't been to the gym in a few days and, boy, can I feel the difference. My eating last night was pretty crappy too but I got right back on track today. I don't know what got into me but I could not stop snacking. Admittedly, I didn't try very hard though. The funny thing is that I ended up at about 2300 calories which is still probably half of what I used to eat on a given day. At least it was all relatively healthy stuff - I haven't been grocery shopping so I couldn't do any REAL damage. It was still scary though. A reminder that if I'm not careful and aware I could very easily end up right back where I started.

I gotta run. I hope everybody had a great weekend.


06-19-2005, 09:28 PM
I have been just sick of myself all week. Just fed up with NOT having the will power, determination, whatever to do anything about my weight.

Happy for you and your windows, Tricia. :D

Are you out on old blue, Gloria?

Kat, how was the trip?

06-19-2005, 11:18 PM
Lucky, try not to beat yourself up. You are a good person, a great motivator, and an inspiration to the rest of us with or without the extra pounds. Losing weight is a tough battle and a complicated process. Sometimes it takes getting frustrated and fed up with ourselves to make the changes that need to be made. Still, making those changes requires day by day, hour by hour, minutes by minute choices. You can do it Lucky. Please don't give up. You are worth every good thing that comes with living a healthier life and you deserve each and every one of them too.

Is there anything we can do to help you get on track? You have had such a hectic schedule lately. Are you taking time out for yourself? I know that when I get busy and stressed it is almost always a trigger for bad eating. I assume because I don't feel like I've got any time of my own. But it only takes a second to gobble down a handful of cookies so I use that fleeting moment as "me" time. We are here for you. Just tell us what you need (I bet if you knew you would, huh?).


5 dogs
06-20-2005, 08:13 AM
Wish me luck ladys. I have to turn in all the info I've collected the past couple of week and after that i might be able to get back in the swing of things again.

Will let you know how everything went when i get back. Have to get breakfast going now so best get to it.
I can smell my coffee brewing and i sounds like its almost done.

06-20-2005, 05:25 PM
Gloria I hope everything works out for you. :crossed: You have put a lot of time and effort into all of this I am sure things will be fine. So, did Carl ever forgive you for having him needlessly search for those tax returns? I bet he can't stay mad at you for very long.

:( Well, girls, I can't seem to motivate myself to do what is needed to shed these last 20 or so pounds. I'm still exercising every morning and my calories are in check but I think I probably need to drop them by a few hundred each day to get back to losing at least a pound a week. I've managed not to cross 1500 the last couple of days but it was a REAL chore. I don't know if I can keep it up or not. I've got this inner struggle going on. There's one part of me that realizes how close I am to goal and wants to really buckle down and get those last pounds off once and for all. But then there's the other part :devil: that knows I'll still lose the weight if I keep doing what I'm doing it will just be super slow - an ounce or two per week, if that. And, in a way not having to bother with putting any extra thought or work into it is very appealing. Compounding all of this are some really negative body image issues I've been having lately. I KNOW I look better. I KNOW this. But I am over the newness of having lost weight and am no longer content with where I am. Ugh. Does any of this EVER end? :(

How is everyone else doing? Better than me, I hope!

Take care,

5 dogs
06-20-2005, 06:21 PM
Don't feel so bad, Lucky. I to am having a horrible time getting motivated. I have an idea on what we can do to solve that problem. I was thinking of putting the exercise challenge on the back burners for now and starting a new one that is a little easier to do. If its okay with all of you, i was thinking of something in the lines of, something new, something old. You know how diets can get a little old and boring especially when you've been on it a long time? Well, what i am proposing is, you can still follow your diet plan (that is the something old) but you have to incorporate something new into it. It could be some food that you haven't tried in a long time or a food you have never tried. When i was younger i hated brussels sprouts but now have given them a second try and would you believe it, there wonderful. That would be my something new. Tricia, you could still exercise in the morning like you are doing now, but instead of going to the gym, maybe doing some power walking. This is only a suggestion Tricia. I was using you as an example. So what do you think?

My visit to the lawyers office was good and bad all at the same time. Good because i was able to give them about 90% of the info they needed. Bad because the other 10% involves Carl and getting info out of him is not the easiest thing to do. I asked my lawyer why Carl would be involved in all of this. Carl has nothing to do with it. She said that the other lawyer wants to see if Carl is the kind of person that won't support his family by drinking and gambling away the income and a law suit is his ticket out.

Well its past 5 o'clock now and my dogs usually get fed at 5. Poor things, wasting away to nothing.

06-21-2005, 10:06 PM
Thanks, Gloria and Tricia. I felt better reading your posts and feel like a dope.

Gloria I am happy you are 90% there!!!! with your paperwork to the lawyer.

Tricia, I don't know what to say to help you with 20lbs except to keep coming here and counciling me! :lol:

It took me a few weeks but now I know - I have been getting so depressed over my new job. It was a month behind when took it, I was gone at school for two weeks and then had the flu so I started out 2 months behind. I work 12 to 14 hours a day and weekends plus I bring work home - so, yep - that = depressed!!!!!!

I know things will be good once I am caught up but until then I have to get a grip.

My boss called in today from vacation and asked me what was wrong - must have been my voice - my life or my work - so I told him "some" of it and felt better. Part of me just can't whine to him - like I can't do the job - ya know??

But I also can't let this ruin my body even more.

I was thinking today that I always do best when I am doing things for my health. For some reason the word diet makes me feel bad, want to eat, like I am being punished.

So, I am getting back to thinking "health". Believe it or not I used to drink raw eggs for breakfast when I was on a health kick - even liked them!!!! :D

Okay, new research has proven that is not such a good idea so I won't do it but I had to let you know I CAN do good things for my body when I think health.

Also, I have worried our thread will disappear. I know I have been slack here but I think of you each and every day and will be better at posting.

Gloria, I like your challenge idea - baby steps!!!!

I feel better all ready.

It is so hot and humid here - yep, in Minnesota. It has been 90 or over for two days. A lot of bad storms and then it just gets more humid. My poor cat looks miserable. He just lays on his back with his paws up in front of the fan.

Well, enough rambling from me.

Thanks, again for the encouragment.

06-21-2005, 11:11 PM
Lucky, it sounds like things are starting to pull together for you and I am glad to hear it.

Gloria, I like your challenge idea but, honestly, I don't know if I am up to one right now. I'm going to put some thought into it and see if I can come up with something. If nothing else, I will stand on the sidelines and cheer you guys on.

I am having a terrible night. Greg is out of town and, as we all know, calories don't count if nobody sees you eat them. Really, though, it isn't even what I've eaten that bothers me. Oh, sure, it is more than usual. Still, it isn't anything that's going to bring the world crashing to a halt. It is my ATTITUDE. I have a real binge mentality right now. I am controlling it to a degree but it is so hard. At least in the past when I've wanted to eat this way I just did it and that was that. I wasn't trying to lose weight back then so even though I felt little pangs of guilt I didn't feel like I had any thing to lose (no pun intended). But now, knowing I'm not hungry but still having an stong urge to eat and being perfectly aware of the damage that I could do is a bit overwhelming. I feel like crap even THINKING about eating this way (and I haven't really done any harm yet). Worse yet, I HATE feeling overly full anymore. I ate a little too much at dinner and felt physically yucky. Oddly enough, that feeling made me want to eat MORE. How is that possible? How can it be that I feel gross from eating to much and yet still want to eat more. Guilt, that's how. It isn't that I am thinking I've done it now so I might as well enjoy everything I've done without. Instead it is more along the lines that I've feel I've failed and, therefore, don't deserve to do well, so I'd better punish myself for overeating by eating more. It is, after all, the most awful fate I could create for myself. Ugh. Sorry for the rant.

But, I do feel better having gotten that off of my chest. I am off to bed and hopefully having unloaded those feelings will help me hop right back on track tomorrow. Thanks for listening.

Have a great night, you guys.


06-22-2005, 09:32 AM
:D It is a new day and I am back on track! I have no idea what came over me but I'm better now - maybe it is the stomach ache I woke up with this morning. It really doesn't take much "junk" to make me feel really crappy anymore. Thanks again for letting me unload last night. I am positive that the few minutes I spent at the computer kept me from going into a full blown binge.

Gloria , I haven't heard much about your tomatoes lately. I hope all of the time you've had to spend with the lawyers hasn't meant that they've shriveled away. I've got three big ones waiting for me in the kitchen now. I'm going to make salsa with one (I've got freshly picked jalapenos and green peppers too), the best BLT ever with another, and save the last one until a couple more are ready to pick and make some marinara sauce. After that I'll start canning some here and there - if I can stand it. I can eat home grown tomatoes like apples so it is hard to save any even though I'll know how glad I'll be that I did come this winter.

You all probably get tired of my kid stories but, sometimes, they are all I have. ;) Will found his best friend in kindergarten. By all indications these two will probably spend the next 12 years hanging out - they just really clicked. They happen to live within walking distance to us but have never visited each other (they did play every day at school after all). I talked with his mom quite a bit during the last field day they had and we committed to keeping them in touch over the summer. But, you know how busy summers get and even though Will asks about Zack almost everyday, I just haven't gotten around to giving them a call. His mom works so by the time I've thought about it she's not home and he's with his babysitter, etc. I had a voicemail Monday night from Zack's mom saying, "Zack REALLY wants to talk to Will." We finally touched base with them last night. Too long of a set up, I know, but have you ever listened in on two 6 year old boys talking on the phone? It was one of the funniest things I've ever heard. First of all, they were both SO excited to be talking to each other. But the conversation was along the lines of, "hey I see a bug. Do you hear my dog barking?" "I went swimming today can you see the moon?" I mean just 20 minutes of random thoughts popping into their heads. But, let me tell you, Will went to bed one happy boy last night. It made me feel bad that I hadn't made a bigger effort to keep them connected. I will from here on out
though, that is for sure. :)

Bonnie are you still out there? How about you, Kat ?

Off to check the grocery adds and check out salsa recipes. Catch you all later!


06-22-2005, 11:26 AM
Oh, and by the way, Lucky, you and I are in the same boat. After a little thought I realized that the problem I've been having the last couple of weeks has been a direct result of worrying to much about my weight and getting to that "magic" number on the scale. I've gotten this far because I've concentrated on how I felt, how healthy I am becoming, and thought of fat loss as a byproduct of those things. When I start thinking of weight loss exclusively I get off track almost immediately. It is a challenge for me know because I AM healthy at this point and it is so very easy to take that for granted. So, maybe that is my challenge - to go back to focusing on my health and letting the fat take care of itself.

06-24-2005, 10:56 PM
I made it back from class today. Jeez, I worked at least 12 hour days this week and then had to get up at 4AM today to go with a co-worker to the cities for a Financial Statement Analysis class :(

On the way there it was raining and the drivers side windshield wiper kept flying off to the left and we would have to stop and put it back in position - sounds like something that would happen to Gloria!!!! ;)

It's a miracle I stayed awake all day. THEN our boss asked us to stop by a clients and pick up some paperwork since we were so close to his business!!!

ONE HOUR later we are there, get the papers and finally get to head for home!!! I just got in the door at 8:15PM.

LONG day. I plan on painting and working outside tomorrow. I feel like a kid I am so happy not to go into work. I just decided I needed some time away.

So that was my Friday!!!!

What did you all do?

06-26-2005, 09:22 AM
Yesterday I painted the bathroom, rearranged the kitchen, mowed the lawn and tied my tomatoes - I HAVE A FEW GROWING ON THE VINE!!!!

Today I woke up with a terrible sore throat and my chest hurst - dang it.

06-26-2005, 02:32 PM
Well, Lucky, at least you got a ton done before your body started to argue about it!

I have had a HORRIBLE week in terms of eating right, losing weight, and exercise. First of all, I've gotten way off schedule, sleeping late, staying up late, and eating too much too late at night. My snacking started getting out of hand when I began exercising in the morning - I am soooo much hungrier. And, truthfully, I think I do need more calories during the day if I'm going to continue that routine. But, I've not been planning those snacks as I should and like I do everything else I eat. So, over the last week or so I've gradually gone from a few extra calories out of true hunger to just flat out boredom munching. And they haven't been "good" snacks either - Lots of reduced calorie fudgesicles, Munchies snack mix, almonds (which are actually a regular snack of mine but I haven't been counting them out like usual and it doesn't matter how good they are for you they WILL make you fat if you eat as many as I have been). I only exercised twice last week - our schedule got all screwed up with Greg out of town, and two sick kids in the middle of two different nights. Oh, and I failed to notice that I was out of refills for my Wellbutrin prescription and had to go without it a few days in a row - that is a big part of the uncontrollable snacking I am sure. Anyway, that is a long list of excuses and not one of them is good enough to justify by eating behavior.

But, today I'm back (I'm trying to convince myself as much as convince you guys - LOL). Our schedules are back in sync, my medication has been filled, and I gave myself a good stern talking to about getting to the gym every single day of this week and keeping my calories under 1500 every day. I'll only be this strict with myself this week and then I'll go back to the sustainable lifestyle changes I've made up until this point. For now, though, I feel like I need to really push myself to help reaffirm my commitment to staying healthy and losing the rest of my weight.

Speaking of losing the rest of my weight, I've changed my goal weight to 114. I am sure I would be happy at 130-135 and my still ultimately stop in the 120-125 range. But, 114-115 is what I think is a reasonable physical goal. I think I have avoided 115 as my long term goal becasue it meant I had to admit to myself that I have been 100 pounds (a small PERSON) overweight. I don't see the weight itself as a shortcoming - but the kind of life I lead to get there has been tough for me to swallow. Not to mention that 100 pounds seem so darn impossible. Now though, 36 pounds will get me there and that surely is attainable - right?, RIGHT?!? So, screw it. I'm not scared of a NUMBER anymore. I've always wanted to be 115 (and once was and LOVED it) and there isn't a good enough reason in the world not to shoot for it.

There is something else I've fallen victim to and I am vowing here and now to save myself. I have always advocated listening to other people's advise and considering their exeperiences and applying what makes sense for me. Lately, though, I've been reading maintainers and Ladies who Lift forums. I've found so much great information and plenty of inspiration. BUT - I've also let myself be influenced by other people's goals. For instance, the LWL threads are chock full of fabulous suggestions and information. Still, I do not aspire to be a heavy lifter - I am not interested in dedicating the time or effort that would be required to reach their level of fitness. I know that women don't "bulk up" but I still prefer a softer look for myself. I'm not saying muscles on a woman aren't attractive but it isn't a look that appeals to me personally (or to Greg for that matter). Somehow, though, I've read their posts and found myself feeling that I am in the wrong for not wanting the same things as them (they are "experts" compared to me after all) and I have even felt guilty for not persuing fitness as fiercely as they have and do. That is wrong and NOT condusive to my reaching the goals I've set out for myself. So, I am working hard to get back into the mindset that this weight loss journey is MY journey and is only for ME and MY health. There is absolutley no reason for me to be intimidated because there are people in the world who have higher goals than mine. I mean, I would never feel like a lesser person because I've chosen to stay at home with my children for now despite friends who are persuing MBA's and PhD's. One isn't better than the other - they are just different. I shouldn't second guess my physical goals anymore than I do my acedemic/professional ones. Like I've said all along, it is my health that should be driving me, not my looks. I won't stop taking information from all of the threads on this board but I am done with thinking less of my aspirations because they don't SEEM as noble as someone elses. (Just to make sure I'm clear - these issues are ones I've created for myself and don't stem from anything someone else posted).

On a lighter note, we had our weekly "family night" last night. I can't believe the weather we've had. Very little humidity, hot but with a nice breeze - all uncharacteristic for Mississippi in late June. We cooked out hamburgers and ate outside on the deck. The kids and Daisy played out in backyard before after, Greg and I got to sit back and have a cold beer and listen to the kids laughing and the crickets chirping - it was AWESOME. We usually rent a movie for the kids on family nights but I pulled out a Christmas present that I'd bought for them but hadn't wrapped instead. A "Little Rascals" / "Our Gang" DVD. Oh my goodness, I can't decide what I enjoyed more - revisiting those old shows, or seeing how much the kids enjoyed being introduced to them. They laughed so hard. I can't think of a single modern show or movie that has entertained them more. Greg watched a Three Stooges marathon with them not long ago and they got a kick out of that too. But, they seemed to really like seeing children there age in the mix. We had such a nice time. It there is really no better way to fall asleep than thinking of how much you enjoy your family. I honestly consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world. I feel sorry for people (and I know plenty of them) who are never happy with what they have or appreciate their families.

Will learned a valuable life lesson yesterday too. It always amazes me to see a light bulb go off for a kid his age. He went to a birthday party for his best friend from kindergarten. They bonded at school but had never visited each other's homes. Will became concerned a few months back that his friend claimed to live in a "mansion." From what I gathered the little boy didn't make this claim in any conceited way. In fact, I think that they had just moved into a bigger, newer home than they had been and, when you are 6, it doesn't take much to impress you. Nonetheless, Will spent some time concerned that we weren't as "rich" as other people. Greg and I took the opportunity to explain friendship, and money, etc. We focused on the fact that having nice things doesn't make you rich and that the more important thing is the person that you are. I even went so far as as to explain credit to him and explained that you can't tell how much money someone has by the things that they own. I think that he understood the difference between having everything that you need, most of what you want, and living modestly and spending every cent you earn, having fabulous things, but nothing in the bank. We were very careful not to pass judgement on any lifestyle but wanted him to understand the reasons behind our decision to live the way that we do. Anyway, we get to his friends party and he has a great time. Those two boys were so glad to see each other and barely spent a second apart. We were on our way home and Will was talking about how much fun he had. Then he paused for a second and said, "Mom, Zack's house is really nice but it isn't a mansion. Our house is bigger than his but it isn't as new. I guess it really does just matter whether or not you like playing with somebody." The look on his face was priceless. We've always taught our children tolerance and to appreciate the differences between people but it isn't until they have their own experience to apply those lessons to that you really get to see it all click together. I can't tell you how proud I felt that he realized he isn't any better than anyone else because of what he has and what anyone else has doesn't make them any better than him. And, as an added bonus, I think he learned to appreciate what he has without comparing it to what anyone else has (or doesn't have). IMHO, those are all lessons harder learned today than when I was growing up so I am pleased that he seems to have learned them so early. I am confident that he is prepared to face the occasionally snob that he is likely to come across and just as ready to embrace people whose company he enjoys even if they aren't as financially fortunate as he is. Okay, I am done bragging. LOL.

I am off to the gym, then over to Sam's to stock up on a few things, then back home for the pool. I can't snack if I'm busy, right? Enjoy your Sunday!


06-29-2005, 10:05 AM
Hey, guys. I've decided that I am going to really buckle down and knock off these last 30 pounds. I've been doing great so far and am feeling really motivated but I have found lately that spending so much time at 3FC is actually keeping me a little to focused on my weight. This board, and this thread in particluar, has been an incredible resource for me but I need to get back to basics and obsess about weight, calories, exercise, etc. a lot less than I do now. So, I will be posting very infrequently if at all. Before I headed off, though, I wanted to excuse myself properly from our Sanctuary and thank each and every one of you for your support, inspiration, advise, motivation, and friendship. I honestly couldn't have gotten as far as I have without you. I don't have any doubt that I'll manage my ultimate goal of 114 pounds by my birthay this February and I'll owe a bulk of that success to y'all. So, THANK YOU!

Good luck to all of you on your journeys towards a happier, healthier life. I know that you will each find weight loss success in your own ways.


07-05-2005, 11:08 AM
Well, I am an idiot. Are you guys still posting? If so, I may want to jump back in even if it isn't 10 times a day like I used to!

5 dogs
07-05-2005, 11:21 AM
Hi Tricia, how was your weekend? I will still be posting here even if it is just the two of us. I do consider you a friend and i would hate to loose you. I guess i was an idiot also because i was upset because no one besides you and myself were making the effort in posting. I am over my upset now and would like to continue talking and giving each other words of encouragement. Maybe we should change the name of this thread to just the two of us. I don't mind you posting 10 times a day. If that's what it takes to get you to where you want to be then i say "go for it.

07-08-2005, 11:19 AM
Hi girls, I stopped in July 4th and wrote a long heartfelt emotional post and when I hit the submit button it disappeard into cyberland, so I didn't try to reconstruct it.

Basically I just said that I have been having a rough life here lately and after 4 years of working with my husband and son in our own business, I was going to have to get out and find a "Paying" job. Well at 58 years old and 100 pounds overweight, that wasn't going to be easy.

But this week, I have to say that God moves in mysterious ways. The girl that had my "old" job just up and walked out on them on Tuesday and they called me and starting new week I am going back to the group of Rheumatologist I worked for for 5 years.

I am using this as a new beginning and getting my act together and get serious again about health, weight and exercise.

Wish me luck on my new life.


07-15-2005, 10:59 PM
So, is anybody still around?

Gloria, I didn't see you last post until now or I would have been posting! I just assumed I had run everyone else off. I decided tonight to post and move this thread to the top hopping that if anyone were still lurking out there they might be motivated to post. Lo and behold, there was your post from July 5th!

Barbg, it is good to here from you again. How awesome that things have worked out for you the way they have. My grandparents owned a restaraunt most of their lives so I've seen first hand the toll owning a business can take. They loved it but as they got older it was so hard for them to let go - they didn't want to do it anymore but they didn't want anyone else in charge either. They leased it for a while and ended up selling the business and it was a bittersweet time for the whole family. Anyway, I'm glad you found a way "out" so to speak.

So, where are we all doing with our weight loss and exercise efforts? I'm hanging in there but could definately be doing more and working harder to shed these last pounds. I've noticed that I've been snacking more here and there but am thankful that I have caught myself each time and gotten back on track. I've wasted a week here and there when I could have buckled down and lost a few pounds but at the time the calories seemed worth it. I suppose it will be that way from here on out - always prioritizing between my goals and my wants. The key will be making sure that my goals win out more often than not. I've let my calorie level creep up to maintainance level but have been careful not to push any further than that. I spent this week being really disciplined this week and I feel like it has helped be regain that old drive that I used to come by so easily.

Hope somebody is still out there? Lucky? Kat? It would be great if we could all get back on track together. I for one have found staying on track is much harder without you guys!


07-18-2005, 11:04 AM
Just thought I'd make one more stab at moving the thread back to the top and see if anybody is still out there. I hope you all find your way back soon!

5 dogs
07-18-2005, 02:54 PM
Hi Tricia,
I see that your weight scale has gone down considerably. Great big YA for you. Keep up the good work.

I wish i could say that i will be posting everyday like i used to, but visiting with my cyberspace friends is just one of the things, that i loved to do, but no longer am capable of doing. The strength in my hands and arms is diminishing fast and i am forced to come to the conclusion that the more i try to do, the more extreme pain i am in everyday. I now know why some peoples attitude towards life is always angry and bitter. Hopefully i wont become that kind of person and be thankful that i can still take care of myself without to much help. Trust me when i say i will miss all of you, but doing the simple things that most people take for granted is a major big deal with me now.

Tricia, i wish i could send you my email so that we might send little notes to each other, but i know that this website tells everyone not to do that. You never know just who is lurking out there. I would love to hear about the changing life of your children and your progress in loosing the weight.

So, i guess that is it for me. I still have my quilting and my dear sweet hubby manages to come home for lunch now. I think he was getting a little worried about me being home alone so much that he now finds a way to come home in the middle of the day. Carl is one of the good things in my life now that i am so proud of.

Hugs to all of you.

07-26-2005, 11:19 AM
Hey out there :)

It has been a really long time since I've posted on 3FC. I had just hit a hard time where I couldn't do even this one more thing to help myself and had convinced myself that my words here didn't matter to anyone. Well, things are moving ahead again, and I'm taking some new steps in a direction that feels pretty good. Basically, I'm ready to get back to work and stop wallowing around in my own garbage. If any of you are still out there, it would be great to hear from you. :)

Gloria, you should send a PM with your email addie to Tricia so you two can keep in touch. That way it isn't as dangerous as posting it in the forums where everyone can see. I haven't had a chance yet to read back, but it sounds like things are very difficult for you. I am so glad you have your amazing Carl there. He isn't just a good thing, he sounds like an incredible thing in your life. *HUGS*


07-27-2005, 12:19 PM
Good morning!

And a good morning it is :D I realized yesterday that I have been letting guilt and bad feelings hold me back. I haven't lost a pound and kept it off since the start of this year, and it was time to clear things up and get moving forward again. My fear has held me in place for too long now. So, I wrote to the person I felt the strongest need to make amends towards, and she wrote back! She gave me the most amazing gift of forgiving me and freeing me from my guilt. I honestly feel like my world is sitting upright again. I am so happy!!! :D

I'm taking this positive energy and heading out the door to Curves with my eldest daughter. The next step is to open up my DietPower and begin logging foods.

I feel like someone has done more than turn on a light for me. It feels like the sun has returned and it is a bright, summer day! YES!!!


07-27-2005, 07:48 PM
What great news, Andria! Isn't the power of forgiveness incredible? I've been on the giving and receiving end of it and there really is nothing quite like it to lift a heavy heart.

I've been posting steadily at 3FC despite so little activity on this thread. I am glad that you have posted again - maybe a few more will come out of hiding. Gloria, if you happen to still be luking out there I hope you might find the strength to pop in for a short hello and to let us know how you are doing. I understand why you can't post with the same frequency as before but we would love to hear from you when you do feel up to it.

Okay, so diet and exercise. I think I'm doing okay. I'm inching my way towards my goal and feel like I've really got a handle on things this time. Right now I am focusing on making sure I am losing in a way that I can keep up with. I'm not really worried about eating - that's fallen into place. I still have cravings and make bad choices sometimes but I've become really good about identifying the mistake, forgiving myself, and moving on. Exercise is a little stickier for me. I love it. But I am looking ahead to coming years when the twins will be starting school and Will has an even more hectic schedule. I don't know that I'll have the same flexibiltiy time wise that I do now. On top of that I paid my two year gym membership up front so I haven't had to make any monthly payments. I have about a year and half left. I don't know if we'll be able to budget payments at that point or not. I assume we will of course, it is only $40 (I think) but who knows. So, I'm trying live day by day but plan for what may be an obstacle down the road. I figure it is better to be proactive than reactive in this case as it would be much to easy to fall into old habits and ruin all of the progress I've made (and will make).

So, anyway, I hope some others will stop by and let us know how they are doing. We were such a supportive group it would be a shame not to get things rolling again!


07-27-2005, 08:14 PM
Hey Tricia :)

Sounds like things are pretty darn under control in your part of the world. I can tell I'm going to struggle, but I have been doing positive things all day long and have asked my 14 yo daughter to be my ally. I explained that I would love to be at my goal weight in 2 years. Funny thing, that would be just in time for a wedding... Mine! I explained to her today how hard it is to say no when she asks me to buy and share something like a shake or some other treat. We both consider those to be bonding experiences, but I don't want to bond with her over food. I want our experiences to be real and memories we can hold on to, not just empty calories. Anyway, she really liked that I want her to be part of this with me. We were out shopping together when we had this chat, and we came home and worked together on preparing a nice soup. Now that is the kind of bonding I want with my daughter!

I've got to get back to the real world now. :) I'm a little bit behind on my water consumption, but food is good for the day, and I've already exercised! Wahoo!

See you later :)


07-29-2005, 09:52 AM
That is awesome, Andria. And what a terrific example you are setting for your daughter. Having friends and family to support us is absolutley critical to our success. How wonderful that you have someone so important to be there for you through all the ups and downs of losing weight.

I am hoping for a good weigh in this week. I'm having one of those rare moments of feeling "light". Who knows, though, it could be the heat. LOL.

Have a great weekend.

07-29-2005, 08:11 PM
Me again :)

Sorry for not posting yesterday! We had a training meeting at work, which turned out to be equine therapy as a team building experience. It was really amazing, but we were out in the 100+ heat for two hours, and I got so heat sick. I came home and slept a couple of hours and then was groggy and felt ill the rest of the night. :( Still, my food was good, and I logged everything the best I could (we had a potluck luncheon afterward training). I tried to steer clear of anything I knew would tempt me to give up and not log my foods. Since pies and cakes and such were still sitting in the fridge all night at work, it took a lot to keep out of them, but it felt really good to walk away and eat the more healthy choices. I even made apple cinnamon rolls for the breakfast this morning and purposely made half size ones for all the staff so that I could have one and not feel deprived yet not feel like I had blown things.

Anyway, I'm just up for a short time because I need more sleep. 3 hours so far won't cut it for work tonight, funny thing! See you tomorrow :)


07-29-2005, 09:51 PM
Andria, I just want to say how very proud I am of you. Your are making reasonable changes that will give you the results you desire. And the cakes and pies! Those are always tough so what an accomplishment that you walked away. You hit on a very important point - how good it feels to make the right choices. I'll be honest, it isn't that hard for me anymore but I remember (how could I forget?) what it was like. I when I first started losing weight I'd pass up an extra helping or a dessert and go to bed on what felt like an empty stomach. Of course, my stomach wasn't empty I just didn't know any feeling other than full. Anyway, I would lay there and actually wonder if I'd done the right thing. I knew I'd done the right thing in terms of my diet and health but I couldn't help but question whether or not it would have been worth it. Wasn't it possible that my favorite (insert ANY food here) would have been BETTER than losing weight? I never really knew for sure but continued to force myself to ignore those cravings. Then something crazy happened. I allowed myself to splurge and knew IMMEDIATELY that it wasn't worth it. I didn't just feel guilty I felt physically gross. I still overeat from time to time and it is always a reminder of how unsatisfiying poor food choices can be.

You did the right thing with the rolls you made. It just isn't feasible to deny yourself all of the things you love. As cliche as it is, moderation is the key. I've learned to enjoy my favorite foods just less often and in smaller portions. You will too, if you haven't already.

Andria, I know you are going to succeed. You seem determined. Keep making the right choices as hard as they may be sometimes. You deserve a long, healthy life and one that you can physically enjoy to the fullest.

This is only semi-diet related but I got a new haircut and highlight that I just love. I've always had to consider a fat, round face when chosing a cut - and even then there's no hiding the fat just not emphasizing it so much. It was so liberating today getting the cut I WANTED. I think it is very becoming and it was a great reward for having come this far. I still have a way to go but I'll get there and having a new style and color somehow makes me feel even more motivated to buckle down and get there. I hate to sound corny but I feel pretty and I don't remember the last time I had confidence like that. To be honest, it is an awful big pill to swallow. I bet I can get used to it though - LOL!

Have a great weekend!

08-02-2005, 12:21 AM
Tricia, grats on the new haircut and the great outlook! I really do understand that issue, because I love to wear my hair long, but I really worry about it looking like that stereotype of the fat woman who doesn't do nice things for herself, take care of herself, etc. My self image is still so distorted, I honestly can't tell what looks good and what doesn't. I'm getting there, albeit slowly. :)

The last couple of days at work were so rough on me. The graveyard shift is physically draining, but there was a lot of mental strain as well, and I just feel drained. At least I have the next 3 days off to get rid of it all!

Oh, not diet related at all, but definitely self esteem related, I got registered for classes today! Wahoo! Last year I had signed up and screwed up my ACL the second day of class and had to drop for the entire year. My knee has healed enough now that I'm feeling moderately confident about going back. Scared, but willing to face my fear. :)

Got to run! Girls just came in and think they are hungry or something... Silly children... ;)


08-02-2005, 01:29 PM
Ok, challenges abound today! I am really excited because I get to write my second restaurant review! I'm also really nervous because that means eating at a restaurant I am not familiar with, and having to try lots of different foods I am going to have little idea of how to journal. I don't want to blow this day by lunchtime! So, my plan is to try things, but to not worry about eating everything I am offered/served. I've made good choices so far today and will make sure to have plenty of water between now and then as well. The rest of the day can be salad and soup if necessary. :lol: Oh... *groan* I just remembered we are all going to a movie this evening. I guess I'll just have to decide now what I want, a few handfuls of popcorn or really good food at a very nice restaurant. Ok, writing it out like that makes the choice sound a lot easier. :lol:

Take care! Hope your day is going well. :)


08-02-2005, 06:09 PM
That is how you have to do it Andria - just work it out. It sounds like you have a plan. I agree that a taste or two of each thing you are offered is your best bet. I would think doing that would make it easier to distinguish between all the different flavors. And that means you can write a more accurate review. Eating too much of one thing might end up overshadowing the other foods. So, think of holding back as part of your job rather than part of your diet.

And, yep, good food wins out where I'm concerned every single time. If nothing else I know I can make crappy popcorn at home but I might not be able to duplicate something good from a nice restaraunt.

I am glad to hear your knee is healing. I imagine that is going to make exercising much easier. And school - you've got a busy year ahead of you. I don't think I could buckle down and study anymore. I have to talk myself into doing laundry and cleaning the house. Studying would kill me.

I am doing okay. The scale is not my friend I don't know why I get on it at all anymore. I'm frustrated with my clothes. What I have is too big but I'm not quite ready to spend the money on the next size down. Anyway, wearing what I have makes me feel fat which gives me a really rotten attitude. How silly is that? My pants are hanging off of me and I feel huge. But, I look in the mirror and these baggie clothes look all puffy and well, just ewww. I'm doing fine on food and exercise. That isn't going to change. But I could really use an attitude adjustment. TOM is here and I'm sure that makes me a tad more irrational than usual so maybe by next week I'll be a better person. I sure hope so.

Have a good time taste testing and enjoy the movie. What is it that you are going to see? Let me know if you liked it whatever it is.


08-10-2005, 12:58 AM

It is frustrating how easily I can go an entire week without posting here. Of course, that is just as easily as I can get away from journaling and exercising and all the other stuff I promise myself I will do daily. Actually, I haven't been quite that bad, but I did take one day off of journaling and had to force myself to do it the next day. It isn't a true habit yet and doesn't come easily. I promised myself a day of rest from exercise, but had to take an extra one because of slipping and twisting my knee a bit. Mostly, I just had to accept the fact that my period had arrived and I was in that funky, feel lousy about myself state. Since it is past now, I need to make sure I'm working things properly. So, I guess I'm struggling a bit more than I had hoped, but I'm still doing pretty well. Keeping the food journal honest is the best thing I can do for myself, and getting out walking every day makes me so proud of how far I have come. I actually made it almost two miles the other day, and that is with a huge hill in the middle! :)

Have to get this posted before the weather goes all funky again and I can't. We've had thunderstorms every day for almost two weeks, and since I use a satellite connect, it doesn't work when the sky is all clouded over. :( Glad I could get in this evening! :)

Oh, almost forgot, the movie was Sky High, and we really enjoyed it. If you were ever a comic book fan or were into super heroes growing up (Wonder Woman, loved her!), I bet you would as well. :)


08-13-2005, 02:22 PM
I am looking forward to seeing Sky High - it is all my kids have been talking about lately. Will is studying his sight words for school and his rewards for learning them and learning how to spell them is a trip to the movies. Sky High is the one he wants to see.

It sounds like you are on track with your eating and exercise. You should be proud.

I have really only been piddling. My goal has been to maintain for a while. First of all, I needed the practice of living out of "weight loss" mode. Secondly, I felt like I needed a little time for my mind to catch up with my body. I needed a little time to appreciate how far I've come without having to worry about how much further I have to go. I had planned to take a month off from expecting to lose weight but after two weeks I have become sufficiently displeased with how I look and am motivated to make the changes that need to be made in order to lose another 30 pounds. I believe that giving myself permission to take a break from the emotional rollercoaster caused by wanting the scale to move made a big difference in my overall attitude. It brought back the original gung ho mentality that has gotten me this far. I had really been overthinking the whole process and it really was wearing me out. I know what works for me - around 1500 calories a day and exercising at least a few times a week. I found myself trying to keep up with the Jones' so to speak. Browsing through all of the other forums at 3fc and starting to feel like my plan wasn't as aggressive as it should be compared to other people's. I began overthinking the whole process and became overwhelmed. Anyway, I lost sight of MY goals and what works for ME.

So, here I am at square one. I'm making a fresh start and concentrating on what I need to do - not what anyone else needs to do. I'll still browse the forums and pick up as much information as I can but I will make a conscious effort not to change my plan unless it stops working for me.

We are off to the pool where I hope to get in a few laps. I expect it to be crowded since summer is coming to an end. But, even if there isn't an open lane for full blown swimming I'll should still be able to get a decent workout playing with the kids. If nothing else maybe I can sweat off a pound or two of water! LOL.

Have a great weekend.

08-16-2005, 01:53 PM
Wow, this last week was so busy! My daughter started high school, and her carpool had fallen through, so we had to drive her back and forth. She made it into a cool performing arts school 45 minutes away, so this was quite a time commitment on top of everything else that was going on.

I've been keeping my head above water and feel like I've made a smidge of progress. Thing is, I get a few days of success and find myself sabotaging with "rewards" for doing well. This is such old thinking for me! I really thought I had worked my way out of that cycle.

So, I did some deep digging inside my heart and figured out what was eating me. I'm really stressed about my work situation right now. I love my job, but there are a couple of women there who are just total catty backstabbers, the type who kiss up to you and are all friendly when they want something, then they turn around and do or say nasty things behind your back. I didn't realize how much it was bringing me down until I was looking at my food diary and the days I'm struggling with food are days I'm working. Normally that is the sort of behavior you find on your days off work, when the structure is shifted.

I decided it was bothering me enough to talk to our program director about it. I was afraid that upper management would be feeling poisoned towards me by now because of these women. Anyway, the program director was really great with me and praised me for the way I do my job and work with people he knows are difficult. I felt so relieved! I think I was really starting to worry I would lose my job.

I also talked with a friend who does some mentoring with me about life and writing and my weight loss goals. She reminded me that I need to relax a little bit. School starts up the 29th for me, and I can use some of my downtime between classes to hit the really nice gym on campus. Her suggestion was to focus on my workout as I would any other course; go the same time and plan it into my schedule accordingly. I don't need to be beating myself up right now just because my schedule is tight and it is tough to get to a formal workout. Got to love good friends and good advice! :)

I've been at work all night because I was filling in for someone else. In other words, my apologies for long-winded, rambling sharing. :)

I loved reading about you getting back to your own personal basics. It is so easy to get caught up in everyone else's programs and forget what we know works for us. I'm glad a couple of weeks off gave you the perspective you need. :) Wish we could go swimming. There have been electrical storms every day for 3 weeks now. Soon I'm going to think I moved to the Pacific Northwest in my sleep! :lol:

I'd better head off to bed now and get some sleep while I still can. Take care!


08-18-2005, 02:44 PM
I'm glad you talked to your director, Andria. It sounds like it made a big difference for you. I hope it helps you get back to complete control of you eating habits.

I've been going through something similar. Not stress, but boredom. I don't have any problem keeping my calories in check and making good eating choices when I am busy. Lately, though, we haven't had much going on. Will is back in school and it is so hot that we aren't spending as much time outside, and I'm avoiding some much needed housework. I've caught myself sticking my hand in this bag or that as a way to fell the time instead of getting down to business at home. And, at night, I need to get myself to bed. Once we get the kids tucked in I should go ahead and start getting ready for bed myself. Instead I've been taking a "breather" that turns into boredom, that turns into snacking. Now that I've identified the problem there is no reason not to make a plan and solve it. I haven't done any damage. In fact, I've still lost weight. But, it would be really simple to fall into old habits if I don't address my ATTITUDE right now. So, that is what I am doing.

I need more exercise. I still go in the mornings and get back before anyone else is even up. Lately, though, the kids have been getting up in the middle of the night and coming downstairs. It has gotten bad enough that our sleep habits are suffereing and that makes it soooo hard to pull myself out of bed in the morning. I don't really know what is waking them up. My guess is that with school back in session a complete turnaround of our schedule is disruptive. Hopefully in a week or so we'll fall back into a routine and things will get back to normal. Still, there is no reason I shouldn't be getting to the gym or out for a walk EVERY day - tired or not.

All in all, though, I'm on track and feel good about where I am. I'm anxious to get to goal and have been relishing how healthy I feel. I am looking forward to clothes shopping when the weather is cooler a couple of months from now. I am hoping to be down a size by then. It seems that about 10 pounds is what it takes for me to change sizes so I am shooting for a 1-1.5 pound loss each week. That should be doable even this late in the game. And, if I don't make it I'll just have manage with a couple pairs of jeans and sweaters cause I refuse to spend too much money for clothes I fully intend to be too big to wear soon enough. Luckily, being in the South buys me a decent amount of time before warm clothes are really an issue.

Take care.

08-18-2005, 10:54 PM
Andria, I was wondering if you have ever ventured over to the 100 lb club? I've been reading there for a while and just recently started posting too. I've found a lot of the issues discussed there are very pertinent to my situation. They are all serious about losing weight and living healthier lives and there is the common thread of all of us having large amounts to lose (or lost as the case may be). Anyway, I've found there perspectives are right in line with my own and thought you may want to consider participating there too. Just a thought!

08-19-2005, 12:14 AM
Good idea :) I had forgotten about checking in there. Used to every once in a while, but the thread I posted to regularly kept me too busy.

You know, with the girls back in school, I'm either bored to tears or running like mad. Either end of the spectrum makes it hard to eat properly. Mostly when I'm bored I forget to eat and then forget what I'm snacking on because I haven't eaten. Thank goodness for food journals! At least when I'm journaling I think twice. :)

I had to buy clothes yesterday, and it was so frustrating because I wanted to buy the size smaller, but I'm just not there yet. So, I stuck to clearance and got a couple of really cute things as well as great deals. One win for me... I bought a pair of pants that didn't have elastic in the waist! Sometimes it is the small things, huh. :)


08-19-2005, 12:16 PM
Yep, the small things make all the difference! An, believe me, I remember EXACTLY how big a deal that first pair of non-elastic pants are. Good for you.

I'm feeling frustrated by clothing too. The stuff I bought in the spring is waaaaay too big but the size down is looseish - too big to buy more of it but I can't fit into the next size down either. And it is going to be a while before I can. I'm not sure exactly what to do at this point. I really just need a day to myself so that I can get out and go bargain shopping. It is just impossible to do with kids in tow. I'll have to talk to DH about that!

Have a great day!