Weight Loss Support - Please Help ME

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06-10-2005, 06:56 PM
Hi everyone! I am not really sure how I found this website, but I think it is divine intervention! My name is Lauren. I am 5'8" and weigh 236lbs. The smallest I have ever been is 155 (and even then I still thought I was HUGE! Never could get rid of these thick legs and hips!) the largest I have been is 248. My whole life has been an up, down, up, down. I am so tired of it. I have tried everything - Slim Fast, Weight Watchers, LA Weight Loss, Lean Cuisines, bariatrics. I fail at ALL of them! I just can't stick to anything! LA Weight Loss seemed to really work - I lost about 50 lbs on it. But I just got so bored of the same food over and over again. I gave up on that one too. And I gained it all back except 10 pounds. I started LA before my wedding so I could get down to 155 again for my big day. I started at my heaviest (248) and lost down to about 202. And this was still a few months away from my wedding! I could have lost at least 20 more pounds - maybe more! But slowly but surely, I stopped following the plan. Why do I always do this? Why can't I ever stick to a plan? I AM SO DEPRESSED! Everyone says I am very pretty - and truth be known, I work for Lane Bryant and would love to model for them but I am even too big to model for them!! - but I have never felt pretty. Even when I was thin. All I feel is fat. And ever since I have been over 200 lbs, I feel even more disgusting. I really WANT to lose weight. Can anyone out there try to help me? Thank you for listening.
Here's a pic so ya'll know who you are talking to. :)

06-10-2005, 07:04 PM
Hey there --

I think most of us can identify with the way you feel right now -- we've all felt that way at one time or another, so you are certainly not alone.

When it comes to losing weight, I think those of us who are successful have a "click" -- we finally understand what it really means to change our habits and get to goal. What makes that click happen varies from person to person, but the good news is that the more you learn and look for it, the more likely you are to experience it. Sometimes you have to "fake it before you make it."

After a lifetime of being a LOT more overweight than you are, I finally had my clicks. A series of clicks, really. The first one was that whatever I did to lose weight is what I'd have to do for the rest of my life. This meant forgetting "diets" (even though I AM on a commercial program). It meant redefining what I saw as normal, and learning to like and prefer healthier eating and activity. It took a while, but that change in attitude was crucial. Whether you are a person who does best with drawing a line in the sand and staring a new way of eating 100% on Day One, or whether you do best with the "baby step" approach, it boils down to looking at this not as a deprivation you go through to lose weight, but a lifestyle makeover you undertake for its own sake, with weight loss being the byproduct.

I highly recommend reading the stickies in the Maintainers Board. I also highly recommend the book Thin for Life (and there's a discussion group on the Maintainers Board about that, too). Hang around those folks long enough, and you'll feel nothing can hold you back!

Don't worry about losing and regaining in the past, just concentrate on the future. All of those previous attempts and successes are just practice for what you want to do now. They were all learning experiences, so learn what you can from them, celebrate what you did right, and let go of the sense of failure. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll get there.

06-10-2005, 07:33 PM
Thank you so much for the reply! I am looking forward to becoming a regular participant on this site. Maybe this is the start of my "click"..........? :)

06-10-2005, 07:37 PM
Read Dr. Phil's Weightloss Solution book! He addresses the EMOTIONAL issues of being over weight first, and helps you learn to recognize your "triggers" for overeating and gives you ways to break your bad eating habits, then he goes into how to eat better without completely eliminating the foods you love. I deffinately recommend the book. I've lost 25 pounds in 3 months since reading his book and my life is so changed because I'm no longer controlled by food.

06-11-2005, 02:15 AM
First thing, hi, and welcome to these boards! :)

I've myself read both the "Thin For Life" and Dr Phil's book (7 keys to weight loss), and they've really helped me tons when it came to understand certain mechanisms of my overeating. I can only recommend them (and to be honest, Dr Phil's one was part of my "click"; even "only a book" can help in this!). The Dr Phil one can really help in isolating, understanding and correcting bad eating patterns, even though some of his suggestions don't work for everyone (for instance: when I'm alone at home, I can't eat without reading, else I'm too bored and don't enjoy my food; if it doesn't work, don't force it :)). The Thin For Life will give you examples and tips & tricks from people who've maintained important weight losses through years.

Another thing I've understood so far is that the weight loss shouldn't be envisioned as a "what can I do to lose the weight now, I'll worry about the maintenance later on" problem, but as a "what will be good for me now and for the rest of my life". Eating plans can be a good way to give you a right start, but as you can't rely on them for years, it's good to experiment, try to control what you eat, identify your risky foods, etc. You may of course have to behave more drastically at first, after all, there IS a difference between losing and maintaining; the key is simply to not let way to all the negative talk or to illusory thoughts, such as "this is too hard, I'll never be able to have pleasure in eating anymore", or "when I'm thin I can eat 'like before' again". It's both about getting used to better, healthier eating habits, and learning moderation so that we can still allow ourselves "treats" here and there, *but* without overeating each time.

I'm not sure of what your exact problems are, but from what you mentioned in your post, it could be simply that indeed, "sticking to a plan for long" isn't the good solution for you (too discouraging, too hard, too deprivating...). Perhaps what would work best for you would be to initiate simple and gradual changes, such as starting with skim milk instead of whole, putting less fat in cooking, allowing yourself treats but in limited quantities (small packages instead of family-sized ones, even if it's more expensive comparatively), and slowly increasing exercise as well (this I can only recommend; I know that some say you can lose without exercising, however, it really helps tons, will make the slimming down results faster, and will also make you feel better, which is part, after all, of the "healthier lifestyle" thing).

In any case, I hope that the "click" will occur for you soon, and that you can find a way that suits you to lose the weight permanently. :)

06-11-2005, 06:31 AM
Hi there, most of us here share your story, always being bigger than the norm, trying everything to slim down but not being able to stick at a plan. This time, I'm doing it alone. I too have read Dr Phil (he is great - a bit annoying at times, and I have been known to yell at him whilst reading - but hey!)

Basically I eat sensibly and exercise a lot. There is masses of help out there, these gals and guys are fab and if you have a question there is inevitably someone who can help you out!

Everyone has said what I was going to say, that you need to get it, it needs to click, and then you are on your way and there is no stopping you. My big tip is, that you need to come from a point of positivity not self desperation. That you need to be doing this to become a better you not an acceptable you.

Despite whether you can see it or not, you are beautiful, I am envious of your hair and facial features and you upper body has great shape (I couldn't see your lower one so don't take that negatively!!!!!!!)

If you need a buddy just holler (I am in England so you will probably have a delayed response from me - as I am asleep when you are awake etc.)

06-11-2005, 07:20 AM
i have to agree with what the first responder said. i gave up on diets ages ago and realised that if i'm going to lose weight i need to follow something that's easy to stick to, has variety and that means a complete change in lifestyle.

so now i follow the rosemary Conley plan (www.rosemary-conley.co.uk) and i find i like it. all it means is less than 5% fat whic his so easy. you dont miss out cos you get a treat every day if you want it. and it does work. i've lost 3 stone so far though i've had a little break lately but am just getting back on to it and in to the exercise again.

sometimes it just takes one little thing to make you realise what you've been doing wrog. and it different for all of us. not everything suits everyone but i do think it's a lifestyl change rather than trying to follow a diet.

06-11-2005, 09:46 AM
First of you are very very pretty and sounds like you have a great head on the shoulders and just need some work on how you see yourself and just need to understand that there is a variety out there for food options you just need to learn about them and give them a try.
I would for a couple weeks write down everything you eat. protein calories fat,,, So you can see what and how much of it your eating.
Make it a point to make exersise a priorty like you do when you take a shower. Go work out and after about 5 minutes you will feel good that you took that time to work out.
Read all you can go to the library check out many diffrent books look thru many diffrent magazines and read up and learn about what the weight is doing to your body and what you can do to eliminate it from your life.
You will have to change your life and put yourself first. When you can do that things will happen. Slowly but surely. Keep on working at it and we all can understand where your coming from and can also lend a supportive note when you need it.
As for letting up on your life style change you are either stressed out, worried and not paying attention to yourself. Always put your self first and think do I need to eat or drink something now dont I have to hurry up with this task so I can go work out when im supposed to.
Stress will certainly cause a havioc on your days but you can get thru them stick to your plans and remember you are worth the effort.
Good Luck and Congrats.


06-11-2005, 12:28 PM
You've gotten a lot of good advice and all I can say after finally figureing out how to stay on a successful diet plan after years of failure is the key is finding a plan where you DON'T feel deprived. The only thing I really miss is Pizza Hut pepperoni lovers pan pizza. Everything else I've found an acceptable substitute for, or something else I love more which is healthy instead of fattening. If you feel deprived, you risk failure or a life of constant sacrifice which most people can't endure.

There are soooo many plans out there. Find one that works for you. If plans don't work (and they sometimes won't) you can do what I am doing. I have no "plan" yet I am losing weight more easily than I ever thought possible by simply eating delicious meals which I've prepared full of things that *I* want to eat. The only way I limit myself is by keeping the meals healthy, balanced (and most importantly) within my calorie range. I don't even plan my meals out for the week. I just keep a stock of healthy supplies in the kitchen and eat whatever I am in the mood for. In the end, I feel like I am eating as I always have and I don't feel like I am really dieting and so it's a shock to me everyime I get on the scale and realize I am losing. I've been going strong for a month (the longest I have EVER successfully "dieted" in my life) and I am not bored, or feeling like a martyre.

06-11-2005, 12:45 PM
i am currently reading a book by a person named jorge cruise. it talks about body image, both internal and external contributers..i just started to read it, but would recommend it as a great emotional tool to all, the book in entitled "8 minutes in the morning" . here's hoping for both of us..

06-14-2005, 11:12 AM
Hi everyone!!
Thank you SO very much for all of your responses! I am so happy to have found this site! Well, most people who are overweight have the problem of overeating. I - on the other hand - usually only eat one to two meals a day and don't snack. One problem is that the meals I do eat are usually fast food....chicken nuggets, french fries, etc......BAD BAD BAD. And I am also extremely lazy! (at least I actually admit it now!) I HATE to excercise. And I work all the time, so when I am not working, the last thing I want to do is excercise. I just don't know. My priorities are all out of wack, I guess. I have a horrible self image, I'm lazy - which means I hate to excercise and to cook..... I am just a recepie for weight loss disaster! I am going to try to get some of these books to see if they might help. But hopefully ya'lls advice and support will get me going in the right direction. By the way....how do you get the weight loss goal calculator at the bottom of your posts? I would love to be able to have that to help chart my progress (assuming that there is some!!) Thank you so much!

06-14-2005, 11:38 AM
I know having a fulltime job and trying to find a time to workout is very hard.
That was always my exscuse.
I always thought I dont have the time I have to work the midnight shift get up get the son from school feed him then clean this house and or do the lawn and then I have to head into work by the time Ive done what I needed to do. But I didnt do what i needed to do. My house comes second. And of course it shows inside. But no one comes over and I will get clean if need be.
My workout always comes first. I make it a point to get to that gym even if I dont want to go I go. Rain cold what ever Im there. And afterward I feel so much better for it. Instead of saying your lazy which your not you just have alot on the plate and you need to organize it a little more so you can make sure you get your workouts in. I can tell you I fight myself all the way up to the gym I will say im not working out like I noramlly do im taking it easy. But when I get up there and ive started on what ever I get into it and Im off and running and doing my thing like I always do sweating and working it good.
You need to be eating more then you are. Eat your larger meals ever 5 to six hours but in between eat your two snacks so your eating at least 5 times a day. Eating right and eating the right amounts does make a difference.
Your body needs that food for its energry which is where you might take it as being lazy and all it is is your body needed more fuel to keep you going and moving .
Cooking is something I hate to but when you learn some easy 15 minute or less cooking ideas that will help.
As for the tracker thingie id you go up to the top of the page and you can go to the USER CP which is your control panel
you will want to get into the signature area and you can find the link to make one and it will give you the code to copy and place in your signature and you will need to update it as you go along.
Hope this helps

06-14-2005, 11:54 AM
Hi Lauren-I'm new to the site also. I've been on all the same diets as you. I've been up and down so many times, it's crazy. Finally, I'm not following any "diet". I'm eating healthier and trying to exercise (mostly walking). I know how you feel. It's a scary, desperate, lonely feeling. I think that's why this board is great. It let's you know your not alone. I've read both books suggested. I've learned something from both. They are woth reading. Also the library is a great place to get books. The best thing I can recommend is to try to see what worked for you with every diet you've tried ,then put it all together. Like when I did LAWL I learned that protein really helps me stay satisfied. WW taught me how to balance my eating and that "bad" food is okay if you limit it and count it into your daily calorie needs. As far as exercise I have tapes but I really don't enjoy them. I seem to really stick with a walking plan. It's free too. Maybe you can find something you like and do it. As long as you're moving I think that's the most important thing about exercise. I know you said your lazy but I used to feel that way too. Sometimes still do, everyone does. Maybe when you change your diet a little bit you'll have more energy. I know that fast food sits like a rock and all the fat just slows me down. I like to eat out too, but maybe you could limit it to once a week, then once a month and so on. As far as not cooking there are lots of convenient things out now. I like lean cuisine's spa classics. I add extra veggies(frozen) and it's pretty good. There are so many helpful ideas on this site.
I think we think really terrible things about ourselves sometimes, because of something stupid we may have heard from someone else. It's really easy to do in a society that says you are weak, wothless, ugly, etc., etc. if you are overweight. Just remember you are beautiful no matter what you weigh. And you deserve to be healthy.Which doesn't mean you have to be skinny. Just healthy. And happy. I know you can do it. We all can. Don't give up.

06-14-2005, 11:59 AM

I just wanted to say that all over the world (me, I'm in France), people are experiencing the same things you do, you are not alone.
That said, the best advice I can give you is start educating yourself on food and exercise issues, find out what works for you and what not. I know this isn't easy, but you might even find it fun to see what works for u.
Remember, we are all unique, and what works for one does not necessarily work for another, but there ARE basic rules. Start working from there.
You will also find real good advice on www.stumptuous.com, working out, eating, etc adapted to women. + explanations.

Hope this makes you feel better

06-14-2005, 12:02 PM
To get the weight tracker you go to user cp in the purple box above the threads. Then choose edit signature. Then you click on the weight tracker thing. and it will give yu the rest of the instructions. Hope that helps.

06-14-2005, 12:02 PM
I SO hear ya on not wanting to cook or exercise! I, too, am quite the lazy bum :lol: I hate exercising (still do), but I know it is essential, so I make time. I have been working 2 jobs for months now: my full-time job is Mon-Fri from 6am-2pm, and my part-time job has been Mon-Thurs from 4pm-around 10pm. So when on earth am I supposed to squish exercise in? That's right--in between jobs! I go to the gym and do 30 minutes on the elliptical between jobs at least 3 times a week (sometimes 4). Honestly, honey, if I can find the time and energy, so can you! I hate doing it--I hate getting sweaty, I hate getting tired, and I would rather take the time to relax between jobs, but no, part of being HEALTHIER (not just thinner) is getting regular exercise, so I do it whether I like it or not. The results are SO worth it!

As for food, you can see I also have no time to cook. At first, I was buying microwavable meals, but I now avoid those because they are packed with sodium which is not good for blood pressure or water retention. Instead, I cook on one day during the weekend. I make big batches of stuff and separate it out into little Gladware containers and toss in te fridge or freezer to grab when I leave for work in the morning. So simple! 1 day of cooking a week usually supplies me with a little more than a week's worth of food. Not a bad compromise. I do things like whole-grain pasta with tomato sauce, chicken and veggie stir-fry with brown rice, salads, sandwiches--whatever I feel like making and know I will eat. I also keep lots of fruit in single-serving containers to grab as snacks (things like pineapple and watermelon I cut up on my cooking day, also). I used to be a fast-food junkie, but now I eat fast food maybe once a month, if that. Plus, when I eat it now, the grease upsets my stomach, so I'm even more motivated to steer clear. Have you ever seen "Super Size Me?" If not, you may want to check it out--totally changed my view of fast food (they only use McDonald's, but all fast food is basically the same).

I agree with small changes. Don't try to turn your life upside down. Making gradual changes can make all the difference. I know we live in a world of demanding instant gratification, but honestly, the slower you lose the weight, the more likely you are to KEEP it off. I hope any of this has actually helped you, and good luck! :)

06-14-2005, 02:36 PM
That's one thing I really needed to hear.....that gradual is the way to go! I tend to get frustrated when I don't see results - and quit. Or another problem I have is that I'll start having success and get all content about it and start going "Well, I've done so well, I can have these french fries!", then this hot fudge sundae, etc etc.... and I get right back to my same awful eating habits. ARGH! I don't know why I can't stick to something! Two things in my life I wanted to lose weight for (the first is really silly - but it was something I wanted, sad I know) #1 I wanted SO badly to win my high school beauty pageant. Everyone always said from day 1 that this other girl was going to win it when we were seniors. All I needed to do was lose just a little weight (I was much smaller in HS) and I KNOW I could have walked away with it. I didn't lose the weight. Then, the pageant had to be postponed for 6 months for some reason I don't remember now - I was handed another chance to get the weight off!!! What did I do? Nothing. Didn't lose a pound. And of course, I lost. Figure that one out, will ya? #2 I wanted to weigh 150 for my wedding. Started LAWL. Lost about 50 lbs. Then started getting more and more off plan. Stopped the plan about 1 month before my wedding. I DID lose 50 lbs, but I didn't make it to my goal. WHY?? Why do I do this? This question plagues me daily!! Does anyone have any suggestions? ALSO - I figured out the weight tracker thingie! YEAH! Thanks for the help!

06-14-2005, 06:50 PM
I would suggest that you start by picking better food choices. Even the fast food restaurants have better selections these days. And if you do get discouraged and get fries one day, realize afterward that you didn't fail and go back to eating the same way you always did, but that you stumbled and will pick yourself back up and go back to the healthier choices again tomorrow. It takes a long time to develop a habit.

Secondly, start adding in exercise just to your daily routines. You really need to look at your day and try to find ways to spend a bit of time on exercise, but in the meantime, you can exercise without taking more than a few unnoticeable moments out of your day. Start by parking farther from every door, avoiding escalators and elevators like the plague. Try not to use the phone to contact someone close by and instead make a trip to see them to get in some walking. Walk or bike to nearby locations rather than drive. Do hip and ab flexes while sitting in your chair. March in place while watching a movie...add hand weights for even more exercise.

06-14-2005, 09:36 PM
I'm new here too. I know it's not much of a consolation, I know what you mean about going so far and losing a good chunk of weight, then going right back to the old habits. Self-sabotage!!! :devil:

I do it too, unfortunately.

But, whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP!!! :D

06-16-2005, 02:21 PM
I am so happy to have found ya'll! Hopefully THIS time I can do it - with the help of people who actually UNDERSTAND! And won't criticize me every time I screw up or if I gain a pound......(like my mom) Thank God for all of you!!

06-16-2005, 03:31 PM
I'm so glad you started this thread, Lauren. I actually popped on to start a similar one, then realized the folks here have given so much good advice that I can draw from myself.

I think the biggest thing for me, in addition to the food and exercise part, is definitely mindset. It's the "what about this time is going to be different than the thousand times I've done this before?" question that needs to be answered in my own head before I can be successful. For me, I'll keep yo-yo'ing, self-sabatoging, and losing my motivation over and over again until that gets straight in my brain. Prior to that happening, it's just going to be the same old, same old. I'm proud that I've at least grasped that one concept...maybe it'll give me a little shove along the way.

One of the things I also related to was your story about losing weight in high school. Recently I've been beating myself up, remembering the times when I was 170 or 200 or ****...even 250 pounds, and how if I'd just dealt with it then I wouldn't feel like I had the world to conquer now. But the more I think about it, the more I realize I have to put all that kind of thinking behind me, because it's totally counterproductive. Could've would've should've...I could've lived a healthier lifestyle, I would've made more of an effort to stay fit, I should've kept off the 65 pounds I took off in my 20s. Yeah, okay, those are the facts, but I need to move on and look to what I'm going to do now. Everything I've done or not done in the past is exactly that -- in the past -- and it doesn't make a bit of difference now.

I'm trying to remind myself of that daily, and realize that no matter what I put myself in this situation and it's time to get myself out of it. I didn't feel all that bright and chipper this morning, and for 3 1/2 seconds I wondered if I could call in fat to work. :)

So yeah, I don't know what I'm trying to say here, and I didn't mean to make it all. about. me. But maybe you or someone else can relate to what I've talked about, which is my hope. You really aren't in this alone, you really CAN do this, and girl...no matter, what, you're gorgeous. Seriously. (And is that Bret Michaels? The-Man-Who-Has-Aged-So-Well? Because yum!)

I keep saying I'm going to utilize this board more, and I think I really finally am. Thanks again for posting and helping to give me my kickstart.

06-16-2005, 07:28 PM
Hi satylite! Wow. Thanks so much for the post! You brought tears to my eyes - and I don't think it's such a great idea for me to sit here and boo hoo at work! :D But I also about fell out of my chair laughing about "call in fat to work"!!! :lol: Oh LORD! That is too hysterical! You just don't even know how many times I have wanted to do that - ****, call in sick to LIFE! :rolleyes:
So I haven't actually STARTED anything YET - although I guess registering here is a start! And girl - don't you ever worry about making it "all about you." You just go right ahead! I think that's one of our problems - we NEVER make it all about us. I think that's one reason I have failed at diets in the past. It was usually never for me. I was losing weight for my mom. For my dad. For my boyfriend. When the boyfriend broke up with me (which escalated to my bout with bulimia). Never because.... well just because. Because it's the healthy, smart thing to do. Check it out!! :cp: I've already had an epiphany! :D
I also know what you mean about "What's going to be different about THIS time?" I've tried and failed so many times, EVERYONE feels that way now. I am so glad that I recently moved out of state so no one in my family has to know that I am trying to lose weight....AAAAAGAIN. The response I usually get each time I try is :rolleyes: :yawn: "Okay, Lauren. Whatever." Already expecting me to fail. Some support group, huh?
Oh.... here's a good one! Are you familiar with "the buts"? Like, you're so pretty......BUT (you're fat). You're so smart.....BUT (you never graduated college) or whatever.....etc....etc. The buts have plagued me all of my life. I really don't think that my family MEANS to kill my self-esteem.....my mom calls it "constructive criticism".....but words from the ones you love go straight to your heart. And all of that "constructive criticism" catches up with you eventually. The past may be the past, but you still never forget it. I have failed so many times, it's hard to get up the gumption to try again. A friend of mine told me after I lost 50 lbs on LA Weight Loss "Great job! You look awesome!" And I said "Thanks. But I failed. I didn't reach my goal." And she said "Well, that's no way to look at it! YOU LOST 50 POUNDS! That's great! You may have not reached your ultimate goal, but you still accomplished something!" I wish I could keep that frame of mind permamently! I asked my mom if she thought LAWL was worth the money she paid for it and she said "Well, you didn't lose all of your weight, did you?" (Basically saying she thought she wasted her money) GOSH! The effects of hearing that kind of crap all of your life go deep!! I don't know if I will ever get over it. :( And therefore maybe I will always fail........?
Anyway...yes that is Bret Michaels! I partied with him here in Nashville about a month ago. CRAZY crazy man! And he is still yummy - but he has a BAD receding hairline - that's why he wears that hat all the time. And (according to his wife) I mean ALL the time! Even to bed! She said he's so insecure about his hair. I guess we all have them, huh? :dz:
Well, I think I've babbled enough for now! :D satylite, I think you and I are going to be good friends and great supporters of each other! :cheer:
Great to meet you! :wave:

gray eyed girl
06-17-2005, 02:41 AM
I hear you about the fast food. I go to fast food restaurants 2 times a week most weeks - once with a family member as a part of a weekly routine, and once with my kids' playgroup. As at least one person above has said, you can definitely try to find healthier choices at any fast food restaurant. I used to be a bacon cheeseburger gal. Now, at just about any restaurant I could point you to a better choice. At Wendy's I do the fruit bowl and if I'm really hungry I will add a baked potato (plain). At McDonalds I usually get a salad with grilled chicken and no dressing. At Taco Bell I do a chicken soft taco with no sauce. At Quiznos I'll get a salad with chicken but no cheese or dressing. Etcetera. If you have no choice but to eat fast food, really make sure to take time to look at the menu and choose the healthiest thing you can. Most of them have their nutritional information available at the restaurant but if you don't see it or don't want to ask, it's almost always on the website. I believe they're required by law to have it available.

Would it be possible for you to "brown bag" more of your meals? You could buy yourself a little cooler, pack it with a nice healthy lunch, and eat that instead of going out for fast food? I bet that would help a lot. And as a couple other people have said, don't deprive yourself. I always, always gave up on diets if I deprived myself. I love food way too much to stick to a boring, celery and crackers and water kind of diet and that's not healthy anyway. I was just saying in another thread that I have a king-size candy bar in my kitchen right now, and I am happy to have one piece a day. It gives me a little treat and with a little bit of chocolate every day, I don't get to the point where I give in to cravings and binge. I have used Slimfast shakes here and there - I'm not following the Slimfast plan, really, because I don't want to buy shakes and meal bars my whole life. But if my kids are being crazy and I just don't have time to make myself a healthy meal, I can grab a shake and an apple and call that lunch instead of eating chips or some other unhealthy snack.

Glad you found us here, Lauren. I hope this place is as helpful to you as it has been for me. :) I just reached my first mini-goal this week, and today I'm wearing a skirt I haven't fit into for almost 2 years. :) It really does help to have the support of a community who knows what you're going through and I hope that this site can give you the same extra "push" it's given me.

06-17-2005, 03:49 AM
:wave: Hi! Lauren
I was just going to put my 2cents in. I found this site about a week and a half ago. After I realized what it was, and what kind of people were here, and how much I feel a part of everything everyone here is going through, I about cried. I didn't :^: but I was so amazed, I was thinking it was divine intervention too! I have said on a couple of threads so far, I found this by searching for info on a exercise machine and came across a post related to it, then I read it and was like what is this place??? I never knew it existed and I think it's the little push I need to keep my mind on my goals. I see it as the place to recharge my will power "batteries". After being on this board for about a week, and talking with people and expressing my thoughts, I realize that it was fun to think about when I get to my first mini goal and be able to go through and change my ticker. I don't feel so alone in this struggle, anymore and I feel like I can and will do it this time! I would like to start a newbie group or something... I think we could help each other get started and get going on this journey. Maybe I could, I've seen several new people also here this week or so and we all seem to have similar problems, goals, and frustrations... Maybe I'll work on that this weekend.:hat:

06-17-2005, 08:53 AM
Hi Friends:

Just wanted to second the baby step appoach to all of this. Take it one step at a time and then keep adding to them. I am in relapse right now due to some old coping skills coming back into play. I don't need my relapse (20 pound gain) to become a collapse. So I am focusing on healthier eating this week. I am also not total avoiding favorite foods this always backfires on me. I am using moderation.
Next week my goal is to reintroduce moderate exercise. That will probable be about 2-3 times a week. Notice I used the word moderate because I need to avoid black and white thinking and being perfect. So one moderate babystep at a time and soon you'll be at your goal.

06-17-2005, 09:00 AM
I can't agree more with not restricting yourself too much--otherwise, you'll go crazy and binge! I don't allow myself treats every day because if I have a container of anything I like in the house, I will eat the whole thing, not just one or two. I'm too impulsive abotu things like that. However, what I do is set aside one day a week where I allow myself to go over in calories. I don't mean I go on a binge-fest all day. I still eat my normal cereal or bagel and fruit for breakfast and usually a salad for lunch, but then I go out to dinner with my boyfriend at night and allow myself to get whatever I want. We sometimes get appetizers, soups, entrees, and then go out for ice cream later! It's insane how much it helps, though. Throughout the week, when I feel like going off course, I just remember that I'll have whatever I want on Friday night. If I do end up going off course during the week, then I cut back on the amount of splurging I allow myself on Friday night to help balance it out. Everything in moderation...

06-17-2005, 12:39 PM
At Wendy's I do the fruit bowl and if I'm really hungry I will add a baked potato (plain).
Gray, I used to love the Wendy's broccoli and cheddar potato, and even asked for extra cheddar. Just out of trying to reduce my fat content, I began ordering just a potato with broccoli only. It's actually quite good and spruces up a plain potato.

06-17-2005, 12:41 PM
The small cup of chili is also a great way to healthfully spruce up a plain potato at Wendy's :) Just leave of the cheese and the sour cream!

06-17-2005, 01:43 PM
The small cup of chili is also a great way to healthfully spruce up a plain potato at Wendy's :) Just leave of the cheese and the sour cream!

...and the severed finger :barf:

sorry, I couldn't help myself :D

Lauren-Welcome!!! This IS a great site. I too have tried everything out there and FINALLY on April 27th I got my "click". Ever since then, the girl who ate two crappy meals a day now eats 6 small healthy meals a day...honestly I feel like I am eating ALL OF THE TIME!! No complaints here ;) Also, I get up an hour earlier than I used to and go to the gym everyday. If someone would have told me two months ago that I would be getting up at 530am every morning to go work out, I would have laughed at them all the way to Taco Bell. I haven't had fast food this entire time and I don't even miss it. I took more of the all or nothing approach to my "healthier self". Don't get me wrong, I still allow myself treats (almost everyday) but I limit myself. It's surprising how satisfying one square of chocolate can be. I also don't beat myself up anymore if I eat more of something than I should have. I just total it in to my calories for the day and move on. One of the biggest reasons why I failed at "diets" was because if I messed up at all, I would just say, "SEE I'm a failure and I already screwed up, so I might as well screw up the WHOLE rest of the day" and I would continue to beat myself up about it while I ate an entire pizza. This time I am doing this because I LOVE me and not because I HATE me. Yes, I used to say all of the same things that so many of us "chubby" girls do...I hate myself, I'm disgusting, I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'll never be able to do this, etc. NOT ANY MORE!!! I have completely let that negativity go. It is so much harder when you are fighting yourself every step of the way. I don't need to be perfect, I just need to not give up on myself because the only person I end up hurting is me. Yes, I still have bad days when I'm not feeling super happy about me but if I stay on plan all day, I feel so much better than if I would have spent the whole day wallowing and self medicating with food. I KNOW that I will do it this time and so can you. We all just need to believe in ourselves. We are wonderful women with amazing potential!! WE can do it :cheer: :cheer:

06-17-2005, 02:39 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol: OMG! The finger joke was priceless! :D

So I had a good laugh, and then I sat here at my desk and had a good cry! :cry: :^: I am sure my co-workers are beginning to think that I am losing what little I have left upstairs! :lol:

"One of the biggest reasons why I failed at "diets" was because if I messed up at all, I would just say, "SEE I'm a failure and I already screwed up, so I might as well screw up the WHOLE rest of the day" and I would continue to beat myself up about it while I ate an entire pizza. This time I am doing this because I LOVE me and not because I HATE me. Yes, I used to say all of the same things that so many of us "chubby" girls do...I hate myself, I'm disgusting, I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'll never be able to do this, etc."

That's what brought about the crying fit. That sounds like my mantra..."I'm fat. I'm ugly. I hate myself......etc etc" I have been that way all of my life - and never really felt like I had anyone in my corner to prove me otherwise. Most of the people around me agreed! Kinda hard to pick yourself up when the only place you've ever known is on the ground. :( I still don't think I can do this. One of my little "fat girl voices" is telling me now "Girl! What are you doing on this website! You are wasting these people's time. You ain't gonna do jacksh** about losing yo' big ole butt! Get on off of here and go get you a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's!!" (all this talk about Wendy's has made me crave one!!) I love bad food too much and I am way too lazy to ever lose this weight. This is pointless.......
Sorry.... I digress.... A LOT......

"If someone would have told me two months ago that I would be getting up at 530am every morning to go work out, I would have laughed at them all the way to Taco Bell"

OMG!! :lol: :lol: That is SO me!! But I am still at the laughing point. ****, I can't even make myself get up in the morning and walk my dog! I really am just plain ole' lazy. I really would rather get the extra hour of sleep!! I have NO motivation to get off of my fat *** and do ANYTHING! <sigh> :no: How in the WORLD do you do it? How do you get yourself to go to the gym in the morning? How do you get yourself to go PERIOD???

How do you just wake up one day and like yourself? How do you believe in yourself? I have seen overweight people around me do it all the time - just wake up one day and start losing weight and keep it off. How do you do it? I THINK I am doing it.I'm all gung ho and all "Oh I love myself! I'm awesome! I'm going to do it this time! Oh yeah baby! I'm on it!...then I lose a little and....quit.....AAAAAGAIN. If ya'll can help me figure this out then you should be in the ranks with Nostradomus!! I have spent my entire 27 years on Earth trying to figure this out. And I've always said "I bet if I can figure out WHY I keep doing this (being all about losing - then quitting) I might actually be able to DO it. If I can identify the problem and remove it from my life, I might actually lose the weight!" But I have yet to succeed at even that. :(

06-17-2005, 02:47 PM
Hi Lauren:

I just read your post and wanted to comment. If fast food is important to you DON'T give it up. Include your favorite in a once a week meal. That way you can have your favorite and not feel deprived. The deprived thing always gets me and sets me up for a binge. So part of my recovery is including favorites in my meal plan. I don't include trigger foods because they are not worth the binge they set me up for.
You can do it & just tell that "fat girl voice" "shut up" that the only way to keep those voices in line.(LOL)
Take care

06-17-2005, 02:55 PM
Wendy's chile is also a good substitute for salad dressing over a spring mix salad. As for the finger, KFC made a killing off of finger licking good so what's the problem here? :D :D :D

06-17-2005, 03:04 PM
One of my little "fat girl voices" is telling me now "Girl! What are you doing on this website! You are wasting these people's time.

DUDE! (I'm an equal opportunity "dude"-er. Male, female, all dudes.) Not that I'm one to talk, because I'm the fattest fatty that ever fatted right now, but I do know that you can't do this to yourself. That we, as a collective "we who need to lose weight we" can't do this to ourselves.

I had a dissimilar experience growing up, because I came from an overweight family with big Sunday brunches and lots of cooking and family mealtimes, so weight was never something my folks bothered me about. They were supportive when I tried to lose, but I think they've always realized they have a weight issue too, so they didn't gang up on me about it. BUT...but there were always those friends, colleagues, boyfriends...yeesh, the school bullying and non-dating alone, all that painful, non-supportive stuff that I'm sure contributed to me getting to where I am now physically and emotionally.

But those people, those naysayers -- family, friends, whoever -- you know what? Don't let them win. Get pissed off, get angry if you need to. You're better than that. We're all better than that. And as far as you wasting anyone's time? Please. We could all say that, every time we backslide. But for me, being able to bring some support into someone's week or day or ****, even a moment of making them feel better and know they're not alone, is so worth it to me and never a waste of time. Investing in good people is never a waste of time, and I think I can safely say that most of the folks here would agree with me.

And as far as being able to feel beautiful and worthy and deserving at any size goes? Hmmm. Well I have an idea for another thread about that one. :)

Oh, and p.s.? The finger jokes are both totally grossing me out and cracking me up at the same time. Hee!

06-17-2005, 03:32 PM
Well, first of all, I DID go to Wendy's.....BUT! I got a side salad instead of fries!! Baby steps, right? ;)

Yeah, I think all my family's "support" is one thing that has helped make me who I am today! (ummm....yeah. :crazy: ) See, my mom has never had a weight problem, nor my sister - the beauty queen/flight attendant - and my dad (who so lovingly passed of his lack of a metabolism to me) has always just been a big burly football playing Army man - so no one really looked at him as having "weight troubles". So here I am. The big *** black sheep.
:lol: :lol: :lol: (sorry! I cracked myself up with that one)
It's hard to tell the voices to shut up (man, that makes me sound like Sybil or something :lol: ) when they have been instilled in you since birth. Feeling beautiful, worthy, and deserving? At any size? Whaaaaa? Yeah, right. How do you do THAT?
Let me tell ya'll one thing that I would say is progress.... I don't think I have ever put these thoughts into words outside my head. I have never had anyone I felt I could say these things to. I have also never told ANYONE (except my various weight loss consultants) my exact weight. So, sounds like this is a good start for me......? :) Ya'll are really wonderful! Thanks for all the great advice and for - most of all - making me KNOW that I am not alone.