I am not real sure where to start as I am new to this. I read through posts for over an hour before I had the nerve to register. For some reason I was afraid, I don't know for sure why maybe because it is so hard for me to admit to myself that I have a problem. I know I am fat, I need to lose close to 100 pounds, but seeing it in writing, especially my own is far scarier than thinking it. I have been in denial for a long time now, I would tell myself I'm not that fat and compare myself to others saying I don't look that bad, the thing is I am that fat and I do look that bad. I think it is also hard to accept because I haven't always been fat. I looked good in highschool, I lifted weights and ran. I could wear the cute clothes, although I was too shy to wear anything too revealing, wanted to but never got brave enough. I know that it is my own fault, I let myself get this way and now it is time to take charge and fix this. I am tired of being ashamed of what I look like, I want to be proud of myself again. I know my husband loves me no matter what and he sincerely tries to support me but don't know how, I need help from people going through what I am going through. He doesn't know what a struggle it can be. I am a compulsive/emotional/boredom eater. I like to eat and I have no will power and he just doesnt understand what it is like to fight the urge to eat, even when I'm not hungry. I'm sorry this is getting long, thanks for listening-reading, just getting this off my chest and really admitting my problem has helped. Thanks again and wish me luck.
05-25-2005, 04:15 AM
Hi Jen!!!! Welcome, you have just done the hardest bit. I have over 100 pounds to lose (well I don't now!!!) and I started in January. It is hard to face up to the realities of what you are now, and what you need to do to get where you want to be. What I did was break it down into small goals and change one thing at a time. For me, it was to eat a healthy breaksfast. I did that for a week, then I moved to cutting out mid morning snacks, then eating 5 portions of vegetables a week.......and then the next month did the same thing with exercise, first week did more walking, then added swimming. My emotional/stress eating was a huge issue, and now it isn't. For me writing down when I was tempted to eat and having some strategies in place really helped me. I now exercise instead of eat when I am stressed, it helps!!!!
Five months on, my life is completely different, I am active every day, the eating is occasionally a struggle, but more often than not I am on plan and hardly noticing it.
One thing a very wise woman said (Goddess Jessica on the 100lb club - come over and check it out) and I paraphrase here "learn to love who you are - self hatred does not speed up your weight loss"
Don't hate yourself for who you are, you did what you knew how to do and when you knew better you did better (Dr Phil says that a lot and I love that quote)
Good luck and holler if you need anything!
05-25-2005, 04:43 PM
Here Here kykaree .. Right on the money
I have at least a 100 now to go myself.
The one thing I always did was hate my self , Hate my body and then I would not on purpose but I would cause a argument with the husband so I could get out of him seeing the way my body looked because I couldnt stand looking at it no more.
We hurt ourselves more than others hurt us.
But when you start to love who you are and actually start to like yourself , you will treat your body like it needs to be treated.
You will want to exersise and eat right because you are worth way more than eating something you know is not right only just to get thru that moment where your hating yourself or something about yourself.
Definatly make small changes and keep on doing it. It will add up to a total make over you gave yourself.
Its very hard work but you can do it. You can give yourself this gift a better life.
Just want it and work at it.
Make working out like any other appointment you know you have to keep.
Its something you have to do to get to where you want do what you can do and build up when it gets to easy.
You can start by changing what you eat cut out the red meat and go for white lean meats Chicken, Turkey.
I wish you nothing but the best and I have been there many times myself.
And when you finally are able to get back into those cute clothes again.
You will feel so great. No one can give you that feeling. Only You .. ;)
05-25-2005, 06:27 PM
You're not alone here. I just joined last Thursday and I was coming to this site for about a month before I decided to actually join. One thing I've noticed on these forums is that you can say what you want and you'll always get positive feedback and encouragement. We're all here for the same reason so we gotta stick togetha! You will probably do best if you go onto the support groups section and look at the different groups there- pick one that you like and go to it everyday. It always helps me to see people being real and that's important. And you can be real here too.
I have also justified my weight over the years. I'll look at people bigger than me and think I'm not so bad. But that's not getting us anywhere! It doesn't matter what we look like compared to whoever- what matters is that we're comparing ourselves to others, which means we're not happy with who we are. So let's do somethin' about it! I wanna look in the mirror and say, "You look hot and you are wearin' those shorts like Daisy Duke and there ain't no lard hangin' out the bottom!"
That said, I have to admit I'm wearing a maternity shirt right now because my stomach is so big. I have 60+ pounds to lose and I'm so hatin' it. BUT it is a daily choice for me to get my big 'ol booty off this chair and do some kind of exercise. I'm slippin' up, and I'm not going to set goals that are too high for myself. It's important to take it day by day, then week by week, then month by month, and eventually all the hard stuff won't seem so hard anymore.
05-26-2005, 02:30 AM
Hello again and thank you for replying to my post. I know I am not the only one struggling with my weight and it is great to hear from others going through the exact same things I am. Thank you for the support. I have spent a couple of hours this evening reading through posts, I love how wonderful and supportive everyone is. I have even learned a few things, but that is why I am here. This all has helped put things in perspective. I know I have a long ways to go, but I am the only one who can get me there, along with a little support and advice, which I am really looking forward to. Thanks again and I will be checking back again soon.
05-29-2005, 04:11 PM
Hi GingerJen, and welcome!
Good Luck! :D
First of all, congrats on taking the first step towards a solution, and remember that "a job begun is a job half done"! You can do this!
I can certainly understand your dilemma, being an emotional eater myself. It's really crazy, like I'll come downstairs already full, just bored from doing too much homework, and when I'm heading back up, the kitchen is significantly emptier and I can't remember exactly what I ate. But I'm working on stopping that ;) I can really relate though, it's so hard to muster up the will power to stick with a health diet sometimes. My dad is in such good shape, he only eats what he needs, with maybe one small desert after dinner and he always laughs at me when I complain about how tricky it is to not overindulge.
I find it helps me to plan everything out before hand, know exactly what I will eat. As long as I make sure my plan has enough healthy food to keep me well nourished, I know that when the snacking craves hit, it's my mind and not my body that really wants the food. Just this awareness makes it easier to stop eating, or better yet, not even start. Sometimes when I find myself prowling around the kitchen, bored and in search of somethig tasty, I'll make myself drink a glass of water and listen to a song or two on my headphones before I have a bite. It gives me time to think if I really do want to break my diet with something I don't need. Plus, I LOVE music, so that sometimes is the break I really needed - sans excess calories! I also don't alow myself food in my bedroom, so when I'm really tempted I have a little sanctuary for myself.
Also, one of the most important things when you're trying to lose weight is your mindset! You can't be in denial, certainly, but just as important, you shouldn't be too harsh with yourself. That's more likely to hurt than help. Dieting is about positive, healthy changes, so don't put a negative spin on it by being ashamed of how you look now. You will only have the willpower and motivation to see this through if you like yourself and are doing this to make yourself healthy and happy. If you look at it as punishment for overindulging in the past, it will be a drag and you will likely give up. Make yourself lots of mini goals and celebrate by purchaseing cute new clothes along the way that show off your increasing fit figure. It will make your long term goal seem much more attainable and your progress will be highlited as you continue to succeed.
Most of all, just believe that you CAN do this! And do it because you LOVE yourself :D , not because you are ashamed. Good Luck!