CackyDoodle
05-19-2005, 07:58 PM
but I made it through. Thanks to a couple of phone calls. If anyone doesn't mind me calling you at such moments, pm your phone number :) I called a stranger from my f2f meeting phone list today. It was a good call, but not as comfortable as someone I "know".. Then i called a friend who isn't program but sstill approaches the desire to eat in the same way. She helped me see that I was angry about something my DH did today, and helped me think it through, plan what to do. After that and my regularly scheduled dinner, i was okay.
girls, that was close. once i acknowledged the anger at my DH, i was okay. and the scary thing is, my instinct to just shove it down because i didn't think i "should" be angry and in general don't think it's "okay" to be angry, i didn't even realize it was there. eventually maybe i would realize something was bothering me and look for it, and maybe realize, maybe not. also, i was physically tired, which i think was the hardest to ride out, and had an insecure, hectic, stressful day at work. going to write about that in my journal.
i was on my way and had my food planned, at least the appetizer. then i would have taken the opportunity to eat every other thing i ever wanted until i was miserable on all levels, but had "dealt with" my rough day. I cried and asked God to help me, because I wanted to but didnt want to. I was going to let go of the abstinence, but knowing i would have to sweat all night (prediabetes) and get my blood sugar back on and live through the cravings again, it just didn't seem worth it.
girls, that was close. once i acknowledged the anger at my DH, i was okay. and the scary thing is, my instinct to just shove it down because i didn't think i "should" be angry and in general don't think it's "okay" to be angry, i didn't even realize it was there. eventually maybe i would realize something was bothering me and look for it, and maybe realize, maybe not. also, i was physically tired, which i think was the hardest to ride out, and had an insecure, hectic, stressful day at work. going to write about that in my journal.
i was on my way and had my food planned, at least the appetizer. then i would have taken the opportunity to eat every other thing i ever wanted until i was miserable on all levels, but had "dealt with" my rough day. I cried and asked God to help me, because I wanted to but didnt want to. I was going to let go of the abstinence, but knowing i would have to sweat all night (prediabetes) and get my blood sugar back on and live through the cravings again, it just didn't seem worth it.