but I made it through. Thanks to a couple of phone calls. If anyone doesn't mind me calling you at such moments, pm your phone number
I called a stranger from my f2f meeting phone list today. It was a good call, but not as comfortable as someone I "know".. Then i called a friend who isn't program but sstill approaches the desire to eat in the same way. She helped me see that I was angry about something my DH did today, and helped me think it through, plan what to do. After that and my regularly scheduled dinner, i was okay.
girls, that was close. once i acknowledged the anger at my DH, i was okay. and the scary thing is, my instinct to just shove it down because i didn't think i "should" be angry and in general don't think it's "okay" to be angry, i didn't even realize it was there. eventually maybe i would realize something was bothering me and look for it, and maybe realize, maybe not. also, i was physically tired, which i think was the hardest to ride out, and had an insecure, hectic, stressful day at work. going to write about that in my journal.
i was on my way and had my food planned, at least the appetizer. then i would have taken the opportunity to eat every other thing i ever wanted until i was miserable on all levels, but had "dealt with" my rough day. I cried and asked God to help me, because I wanted to but didnt want to. I was going to let go of the abstinence, but knowing i would have to sweat all night (prediabetes) and get my blood sugar back on and live through the cravings again, it just didn't seem worth it.
Rough Day
