Support Groups - Sanctuary - #22 Everyone Welcome

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05-14-2005, 11:07 AM

What we really want in a weight loss support group, boils down to one concept; we are looking for a sanctuary.

Sanctuary means different things to different people. Sanctuary is a place of peace, rest, safety, and rejuvenation. It keeps our spirit and our sanity intact.

Many of us who have a long journey down the weight loss path find ourselves in need of a break. Sometimes our bodies crave it, and sometimes the choice isn't ours, but circumstances forces it upon us. Other times, we need the clamoring throng to cheer us along our way as we breeze past milestones and overcome obstacles.

Sanctuary can be all that as well. It is what you need and when you need it. Sanctuary can be found in good friends who aren’t afraid of your truths and in an open, honest atmosphere.

Sanctuary isn’t judgmental, neither does it discriminate or ask to be censured. It is open to anyone with a desire to share, and especially those in need of and willing to offer support

05-14-2005, 11:11 AM
Goodmorning. It is terribly windy here and I had to turn my furnace up!! :mad:

Some parts fo the state got S N O W! I don't even know if it will pay to plant anything this year. It will barely have time to grow. :(

How are you? I can really tell when I am away from you all I immediately backslide on my eating.

Brrr, I need coffee. I have to study all day but hope to investigate South Beach today too. :)

05-14-2005, 12:44 PM
Well, guys, I took a big step this morning. I asked Greg to take pictures of me from the front, side, and back. I don't know why but I felt like such a goob getting him THAT involved. But, I haven't been this weight since before the kids were born so I know when I look at my older pictures they aren't an accurate reflection of how my body looks now. I feel like I'm at the point where exercise, specifically weights, is going to have a bigger impact on reaching my goal than diet. But, since I don't see myself objectively in the mirror, I don't really know where need to focus. I just hope the pictures aren't WORSE than the image I have in my head. I suppose even if they are it will be better that I know what my goals need to be from here on out.

Now, for the good news. Ladies, I have BONES! Oh, sure, most of them are still covered in jello but they are under there and some are even starting to stick out a bit. My shoulders and collar bones are pretty definate and if I stand or lay just right even my hip bones peak out. Okay, okay. Most of this is because I've lost enough weight that the remaining fat is starting to hang and so is no longer DIRECTLY over these bones. But, you know what? I don't give a crap! I swear, I look like that old, saggy lady from the Shoebox greeting cards. Sadly, though, that is still an improvement over the 214 pound me. LOL!

So, I am off to the gym to do my part in fixing all this sagging fat. Catch you all later!


05-15-2005, 12:10 AM
Dear Bones, Oh, I mean Tricia. ;)

I can't wait to see my bones. You are one brave girl having those pics taken. I have never been good with having my picture taken, even when I was small. Pictures of myself usually seem to disappoint me. I guess I just dont' like reality. :devil:

I need to get to bed. Studying is getting 'woozy'. Just a bunch of facts roaming around in my head and not making sense any more.

I will just get back at it tomorrow.

I am so happy for your progress Tricia. You still keep me optimistic. :D

05-15-2005, 06:39 PM
Gloria? Are you okay out there?

I hope everything is alright. You usually post so regularly that I thought we should check on you.

Looking forward to having you back!


05-15-2005, 08:20 PM
Tricia, maybe old blue and her got into trouble and she is in the slammer!!!!!

Sure hope nothing happened to Sky.

5 dogs
05-16-2005, 01:36 AM
I'm still here. Do you ever have something happen to you that you just don't know how to handle it? Well i guess i am in one of those things now and it keeps playing over and over and over in my mind. Here's the deal. When Carl and i were on vacation a couple of weeks ago, i started painting one of the bedrooms. I wish you could see it, moss green walls and I'm going to hang white curtains and one of my hand made quilts. Its going to be beautiful. But that's not my problem. After painting all day, the pain in my neck and arms came back. I am terrified that I'm going to go through the same thing again that i went through after my accident. I haven't told Carl yet, but i think I'm going to have to go back to the doctor. I've also been thinking about money. I wish i could go back to work, but the way i am now, there is just no way i can do that. Do any of you know about social security disability? Then there is the blood sucking insurance people that still haven't paid my medical bills from last year and if the doctor finds another herniated disc in my neck, I AN NOT HAVING ANY MORE OPERATIONS. I know i am rambling but these are the things that have been popping in and out of my head all week. Poor Carl, am i going to be a burden on him the rest of my life? I can feel the depression starting and i don't know how to stop the roller coaster ride that I'm on. Before, i could get on old blue and ride or go to the Y and swim. Now my attitude is "I don't give a rats *** about anything. I know that's the depression talking and in the morning i hope to have a new out look on things. Its late and i need to get some sleep.
Good night.
See you in the morning.

05-16-2005, 11:54 AM
Oh, Gloria, I am so sorry you are feeling the way that you are. My advice is to get to the doctor ASAP! Don't worry about the money (easier said than done, I know). The important thing is that you see your doctor and either get the treatment you need or the reassurance that everything will be okay if you just take it easy for a while. And tell Carl. He loves you and will WANT to help.

As for the concern that you will be a burden to him for the rest of your life I say, "Don't be silly." Let me ask you this. If Carl were to have a stroke or a terrible accident tomorrow that left him paralyzed and unable to care for himself from here on out would YOU feel burdened? Probably not. You might need support from friends and family, you might feel the need to take a break from the work of caring for him now and then but I doubt you would feel burdened. If anything, I bet you would feel honored to care for the person that has loved you so dearly for so long. Believe me, after hearing you tell of your relationship with Carl that is exactly how he would see it.

I can't help with the anxiety you feel about money. But do try and keep it all in perspective. You are fed, you are clothed, and you own two homes. You said you got a great deal on the house in Georgia - I bet you moved in with instant equity. So, financially, what is the WORST that can happen? Maybe you sell on of your homes to increase your cash flow. You may not have the retirement that you've dreamed of and deserve, but you won't be hungry or homeless either. Plus, you've done an incredible amount of sprucing up of your Florida home. So, maybe that one goes on the market sooner than you had planned. It isn't ideal, but Carl only has a couple of years before he retires and you could rent an affordable apartment until then.

The important thing is to remember that everything IS going to be okay. And when you see your doctor (like I KNOW you are going to) ask him about treatments for depression that might suit you. I can't remember if you've ever mentioned being on anti-depressants but I know you've mentioned depression before. I take Wellbutrin XL - it helps, and there is no shame in getting help if you need it. If depression is a recurring problem for you (and isn't soley driven by circumstance) then there is something out there that will help you too.

We'll be here for you anytime you need to vent your anxieties. We all have them and I can't think of any place I'd rather unload mine. Just be sure to let us know what we can do to help. Sometimes a few ears and extra shoulders to cry on will do the trick.

Please keep us posted.


5 dogs
05-16-2005, 01:01 PM
Do you remember way back in Jan. when we still had the 2x2 challenge? I could be wrong about the date. Well, back then i wanted to loose weight for when my DIL graduated and became a doctor. I didn't lose the weight but she is graduating this Thursday and MIL and i will be flying to St. Louis this Wed. Wont be able to post till next Tuesday. My daughter (Jamie), mother, mother-in-law and i will be staying in a hotel for five days and am excited and dreading it all at the same time. Cant wait to see Jamie and my MIL goes with the flow most of the time, its my mother that I'm not exactly thrilled about spending so much time with. The last time i saw her was at my fathers funeral and she still treats me like i was two years old. That two year old child may not have been able to stick up for herself, but this fifty three year old woman will not tolerate it. Should be interesting.

I know i have said this before but i just have to say it again. Thank you Tricia. You have a way of bringing me down to earth and letting me see the big picture of my life instead of just the bits and pieces of the things happening in the here and now.
I will make an appointment to see my doctor but it will have to be after i get back.

Lucky, i hope you finish with that school soon! I miss you.

Have packing and cooking to do so better get to it. Carl wont be able to come because he has to work and he just took a week off when we went up to GA.

Have a good one.

05-16-2005, 08:19 PM
Oh, Gloria, I wish I was there to help you -(plus I wouldn't have to take this damn test Wed).

I agree with Tricia. Please take care of yourself physically and mentally.

I got out of a relationship shortly before I found out I have Fibromyalgia. The times since when I have met someone I think - WHY would they burden themself with me. I fight depression too - I don't even know anymore if I am in one I have been this way so long, but I figure my only choice is to stay in missery or try to "buck up".

I have to say I have found St. John's Wort helpful when I get depressed. It helps me not feel so anxious. I think I am rambling now.

I am starting South Beach and I need you here to help me, so, as Tricia said get to the doc. You need to be pain free to keep up that belly dancing.

As for your trip - hang onto Jamie and your MIL. What ever is going on say, "I will go with Jamie". "MIL lets get some coffee". Volunteer to do whatever they want to help minimize your MOM time.

You could also think of this trip as a way to gather stories to share with your "friends". ;)

If I haven't expressed myself well, I am trying to tell you, you are not alone and we want you to get better. I know "Old Blue" must be missing you. :(

By the way, the test I am taking is for :yikes: INSURANCE!!!! :lol: I actually am an underwriter for commercial bonds but for some reason the government has catagorized us under insurance so we have to follow their rules.

I will check in later - just went to the dentist and have to find some soup and then study.

5 dogs
05-16-2005, 11:42 PM
Oh Lucky, you are just going to love being on the beach. Its almost to easy. I have a friend that went on the SBD last year and lost 50 pounds. When i talked to her a couple of days ago, i told her about the 3fatchicks website and all the really good recipes you can find there.

Now y'all know how thrifty i can be when it comes to money. Well, today i went food shopping and i my way there i noticed that someone had put out for the trash a perfectly good couch, and we do need furniture in our Georgia home, so.......... When Carl came home tonight i asked him if maybe he had driven down that particular street where it was at and he said "No, why? Told him about the couch and for some reason he didn't say a word but just shook his head. "But honey, its a good couch except for maybe the smell. Guess i will just have to keep on looking.

Did any of you watch the last episode of Everybody loves Raymond? If so, it really made me stop and think about all the good things in my life. Good show.

Carl is bowling tonight so the house is all soft and quiet except for the hum of my computer. My dog Sky is sound asleep on the floor next to me and every so often i hear her as she takes a big long sigh. Life is good.


05-17-2005, 09:00 AM
Gloria, I am so very glad that your spirits are lifting. Life IS good - at least if you make it that way.

We are off to school but I couldn't help but to stop and let you know that I am glad you are feeling better.

Talk to you all a little later.


05-17-2005, 07:37 PM
Gloria, I LOVE the "old blue" you found for your avatar.

What's wrong with Carl??? Tell him to hop in that truck and get that couch!!! My Dad always says, "never pass up a deal or you will be sorry later". :D Of course that is why I have 40 acres of crap to deal with now!!!! :lol:

I found some South Beach bars - okay, but nothing to jump up and down about. I like Atkins and Zone bars better. BUT they are only 140 calories. ;)

Well, off to study. I even bought Mountain Dew. I have never had it in my life but always hear kids drink it to stay up so - - - - I just want to pass this crappy test so I can get on with my life and not have to study and stress out!!!


Glad your posts "sound" better, Gloria. Just remember we are here for ups and the downs whenever you need to talk.

5 dogs
05-18-2005, 11:16 AM
Good morning. :flow2:
Get ready ladies, cause I'm getting ready to sing. La la la.

This is to the tune of Hang down your head Tom Dooley.
This time tomorrow, reckon where I'll be.
In some lonesome jet plane.
Eating my B.L.T.

Hang down your head Gloria ......
Hang down your head and cry.
Hang down your head Gloria ......
Tomorrow your gonna ...........Have a wonderful time.

Still have some packing to do but for the most part I'm ready to go.
Called this morning and made in appointment to see my doctor. By the time my trial comes up with my lawsuit, there wont be any money left cause the lawyers and doctors will have it all.

Lucky, i wish Carl would go with me but my DIL and hubby don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. In my house we have a saying, "A little bit of Gina goes a long way. She can be a bit overwhelming at times, but then I'm not married to her and I think she is good for my son. He tends to be a hermit and she brings him out of his shell, so they make a good couple.

One of my tomatoes turned red red, so i made myself a B.L.T. salad for dinner yesterday. Now i could tell you it was good and yummy but in fact it was WONDERFUL.:cloud9: When hubby came home from work, there wasn't any left for him because i ate it all. He's not fond of salad anyway, so we went to get him a burger and fries. When we were standing in line at the fast food place, just talking about our day, i noticed that the people in back of us were listening to our conversation. Well, i decided to give them something to listen to. I turned to Carl and said in a strong voice, "When are you going to marry me? You've got me pregnant twice and now you don't even want to see your own kids. Carl said without batting an eye, "Well, I'm not sure if there mine. :lol3: I could feel eyeballs staring at us. It was our turn to place our order so we took our food and went home.

Well try to post tomorrow before i go.
Have a great week everyone and i will see you when i get back.

5 dogs
05-18-2005, 01:21 PM
Question: Do any of you watch the food show? Is Rachael Ray engaged? She has this big rock on her left hand. She's still irritating though.

05-18-2005, 01:54 PM
Gloria, you would be proud of all the tomatoes I have on my three plants. The kids and I have treated them like babies. I'll have peppers ready to pick in another week or two but will probably let a couple stay on to turn red.

Also, I LOVE your fast food story. My dad used to do stuff like that to my sister and I (well, obviously nothing risque) just to embarrass us in the grocery store. He still does it when we are out with him but, luckily, we are old enough to see the humor in it. He has a good friend who's wife passed away a couple of years ago. But, when she was alive and they went to Walmart or a pharmacy he always found a reason to get her in the "family planning" area and would very loudly announce that he knew they needed the EXTRA LARGE condemns but would ask what it was that she liked so much the last time - was it the ribbed, or the glow in the dark, or what. It always drove her crazy but after a while I know she wandered onto that asile just to humor him. It was funny though because they were both in their 60's - it would have been a miricle if they actually needed condomns at that point.

Well, I have to pat myself on the back. We had to put the van in the shop today and the place we take it is right across from the mall. So, the twins and I dropped it off and walked over but it was early and the stores hadn't opened yet. So, we piddled a little and then I took them to chick fil a. I knew they would want a chicken biscuit and I'm in line trying to talk myself into one as well. But, I couldn't do it. I got a medium fruit cup (60 calories) and a diet coke. Now, the choice itself was pretty easy and the fruit was really good. But it was really, really hard for me to spend $1.85 on 2 grapes, 1 pineapple chunk, and some chopped apple when I could have gotten a whole biscuit and a filet of chicken for the same price. That is why I stay away from buffets - it isn't the food that gets me it the frugal mindset I have that makes me feel as though I need to get my monies worth. Anyway, I'm pretty pleased with myself right about now.

Gotta run. Have a great day!

05-18-2005, 07:42 PM
Hey everyone :)

I feel a bit like the prodigal son returning home. Last week was spent with Tony, and I had a wonderful time! The week or so before that, I don't even have an excuse for not posting. I was massively deep in overwhelm about life, the universe and everything, including Tony's move and what kind of changes that would bring to our lives.

Tony managed to make packing and moving a really fun adventure. We spent the week cleaning and boxing stuff up and then going out to all the restaurants he would miss. Even with all the physical labor, I put on a few pounds. This guy has great taste in food, and I'm great at tasting food! :lol:

Now he is safely deposited back with his family in El Paso (he'll be living there the next two years to finish up med school), and I'm back here, and my life seems pretty boring and more than a little bleak.

One thing I really did have to face while there was the fact that I've been just skating along since mid-December with my weight loss, and I've even begun to backslide pretty seriously, even with the token efforts I've been making. So... yeah, I know you've all heard this before from me... I got in to Curves yesterday, weighed and measured, and I have been buckling down to some good, old fashioned calorie restriction and drinking a ton of water. I've been trying to get myself geared up for going back on the Curves diet plan or my Decision plan, but I keep fighting the concept. They require a lot more meat than I feel like eating this time of year. I want veggies and lots of fruit and very little meat at all. I'm still considering a cleanse or something, but calorie restriction is a decision I feel good with right now. :)

Sorry if I sound a bit sad and depressed here. I'm ok, but I am sad that I have to get serious and start this all over again. I'm more sad that I got so many real looks at myself while I was gone, and the image I have of myself as this sexy, vital woman is so desperately not the reality. I can be that inside, but my body needs help to catch up to my mental state. I want my body to reflect who I really am inside. Does that make any sense? And as vain as this might sound, when I meet friends of Tony's, I don't want them to wonder what he could possibly see in me. I did meet a couple of his friends and they were all cool with me, but there is this question in their eyes. I don't know how to describe it, but it isn't my imagination or my low self-esteem.

I'm heading out for a walk with my girls in a few. Dinner is all set up and ready to cook, and I even have a treat planned for later this evening. :)

Two more years and I won't have to see my sweetie only every few months. Hey, that is two more years until I have to look terrific in a wedding dress! :D Maybe I'd better not wait to get out on that walk. :lol:

I'll try to do some catching up this evening. I'm wanting to see what everyone has been up to! :)


05-18-2005, 10:33 PM
I passed!!!

I passed!!!

I passed!!!

I passed!!!

I passed!!!

Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts.

I am so relieved. I can actually be normal again. Work outside, exercise, read... Life is back. :D

I only slept about 2 hours last night. Needless to say I am pooped. Andria, I have no idea how Tony can do all that studying. UGH!!!!! NOT for me. :no:

I am very happy to see your post. I have missed you. I know where you are at - I am there too.

Ya know how when you are desperate you start making deals with God or where ever your belief is??? Well, I bargined that if I passed this test I would REALLY take care of my body - lose weight, exercise etc.

SO now I have to live up to my bargin!!!! :yes: :yikes:

I also really need some new clothes and really can't get myself to buy any more FAT clothes.

Tricia, now I am scared to meet your Dad! :lol3:

Gloria, I think you should sell that Georgia retirement place and buy a quiet, peaceful farm in the Land of 10,000 Lakes!!! ;) There are bike trail everywhere for you and blue.

My eyes are pretty tired so I am off. BUT I will have more time to hound you now!!!!!

05-18-2005, 10:54 PM
Anybody want to take a guess at what it cost to have our van spruced up? 869.00 FRICKIN DOLLARS! I was flabbergasted. Gloria, I had to calm myself down and take my own advice to you. First of all, we bought this van new and paid it off in less than two years. It is a little of three years old so I haven't had to make a car payment in a long, long time. So, $869 isn't that much money in the big scheme of things. Second, there was nothing wrong with it. All but one thing done were typical maintenance type stuff - breaks, oil change, steering fluid, etc. We would have had to have all of these things done anyway they just happen to have needed to be done all at once. But, we didn't spend anymore than we would have if we'd gotten to spread them out over the next few months. Finally, we are damned lucky that we had the money, didn't have to charge it, take out a loan, or worse, drive around with three kids and bad breaks. So, really, I have nothing to complain about. Yes, it is a lot of money to us and we weren't expecting it to be that much (I had budgeted $300 this month) but, you know, a lot of people would have been out of luck. So, instead of complaining I am trying to count my blessings.

Now, what I DO have to complain about is this. The parts, etc. were only $300.00+. When they called and gave the the estimates on everything that is all they mentioned. I'm assuming that figure is all inclusive - labor and all. But no. For $300 some odd dollars worth of parts and being inconvenied all afternoon (when I dropped it off at 9 this morning they told me I could pick it up in two hours. It wasn't ready until after 5:30) they charged $488 in labor charges! I know, I know that is typical. But, really, I almost with they wouldn't put it on the invoice. It makes me feel so ripped off!

Andira, it is good to here from you. I hope you will find time to pop in more often.

Lucky, you are on your way now. You passed your test and there is no question that you can do anything you put your mind to even if it is as painful as all of that studying was. So, just apply that to lossing weight and you'll be at your goal in no time. Ah, if it were just that simple, huh? Hopefully it will be for you (never really worked out that way for me!)

Speaking of which. I didn't go to the gym today. It is that time of the month and I feel famished. I usually get the munchies around this time - salty, sweet, salty, sweet. But nothing I usually can't handle. I don't know what hormone is coursing through my body but I swear I am about to chew my hand off! And I have been liberal with my eating today. Nothing unreasonable but I haven't suffered through any major hunger - it just keeps coming back though. This MUST pass by tomorrow. It simply MUST! All at once everybody - WILL THIS HUNGER AWAY - righhhhht NOW!

Nope, didn't work. So, on that note, I am going to bed HUNGRY!



05-19-2005, 03:48 PM
Hey everyone :)

I can't believe how peppy I feel today! Nothing like a real sleep and a quiet, lazy morning when you've been pushing hard for days on end. I've been finishing up a book for a book club this evening, and it is funny how you can find inspiration in unexpected places, but that is what I've been finding. The book is titled How to Cook a Wolf, by MFK Fisher, and it is made up of witty, wonderful essays about cooking and food and life and how they all intermingle. It was written during wartime, and she manages to lend an amazing grace to meals that must be prepared during hard times. I'm reading and remembering things I've done to make my dieting less tedious and a joy for the entire family. Food doesn't have to be bland and flavorless unless we eat only to survive. Last night I turned to the cupboards and pulled out ingredients to make an amazing little vegetable soup that was rich and satisfying and incredibly low in calories while high in nutrition. I ate the last of it cold for lunch today. There is something about real food that truly sates the appetite, and for more than just filling up an empty belly.

I was able to do some catching up last night.

Tricia, ouch on the van bill! I wonder if it is the law like it is here, that if the shop doesn't quote you the entire amount, you aren't liable for paying it. It keeps shops honest. I know the one I worked at for years ran into that problem a few times. Someone would come in and tell us to do whatever it took to make things run properly, then they would come back and refuse payment because the manager hadn't called and quoted them prices, including parts and labor. I really appreciated your look to the positive about it all, though. You are right about the blessings. :)

Lucky, WAHOO! I am so happy for you! Now, hoping your life gets back to normal. Oh, and I talked to our cowboy Bob, and he really is from Minnesota. He wants to know where you live. :) And I am so with you on not wanting to buy anymore FAT clothes! I would rather wear these items into rags than buy another 3X. At least I'm not buying 4X like last year? Yeah, I'm trying to remember to be positive. :) I have a mini goal to be able to wear a couple of 2X things waiting in my dresser and closet by the time Tony visits next.

Gloria, how are you feeling now? I made a scrumptious veggie scramble for breakfast and thought of you the entire time. Yes, of course it had fresh tomato worked into it. :) I laughed so hard at your fast food story. I never seem to be that quick witted when the opportunity arises. :lol: Doh, just remembered you are at a graduation today, so we probably won't be hearing from you! Well, I'm hoping you have a wonderful time and manage to steer clear of anything uncomfortable.

I feel far enough out of it that I don't know where everyone else is. Kat, Skittles, Redballoon, the Barbs and ack... who else am I missing? Where are you?


05-20-2005, 05:56 PM
Hey everyone :)

Just a quick note. I'm still going strong! My goal today and tonight at work is to journal all my foods and to make sure to get in at least 16 glasses of water. I'll check in tomorrow and let you know how i did. :)


05-21-2005, 01:23 PM
This is so exciting - I have been cleaning the house and washing clothes!!! NO STUDYING. Tony, I don't know how you do it. Studying must just be for the young! ;)

Andria, it sound like you have jumped on track. :cp:

The only exercise I have had lately is digging in the dirt. I still don't have my my garden in. :mad: It is constantly raining here. I did buy 5 tomato plants yesterday just so "get the feel" of a garden!!! Hopefully next week will be my planting week.

Well, sheets are done so I had better make my bed.

I will be back later.

So, Kat, BarbG, BarbPA, Tony, come out and play!!! :D

I am thinking I need a challange.. when Gloria gets back should we start one?

05-21-2005, 09:34 PM
Yes! We need a new challenge! :) Ok, I can own that one... I NEED A NEW CHALLENGE! There, isn't that better? :)


05-21-2005, 11:26 PM
Good, Andria. I seem to be able to stay more focused - maybe it's the short time, but it seems to work for me.

I feel tuckered out tonight. I mowed and mowed today. I did some planting too. I have a lot more to do but at least I got a start.

I wonder how Gloria is doing? Hope all is going well on her trip.

Tricia, you must be busy with weekend things????

I think I will browse through some magazines I have gotten and never looked at. Do you do that too. I either order them or pick them up at the store thinking I have to have it and then it just lays around here until I get tired of looking at it and throw it away.


05-22-2005, 10:18 AM
Rise & Shine.

Well, I rose and the sun is shining but it is so windy I think my lawn chairs have blown into town. :lol:

Minnesota never used to be so windy - what ever happened to a nice breeze?

It had better stop sometime today so I can get the rest of my plants in.

What is every one up to today?

05-22-2005, 10:55 AM
I'm here! But, I have been busy. We had our "family night" last night. The kids love it. What I think is so funny is that there is really nothing different other than I call it "family night." Really, that is just code for ordering out because I don't feel like cooking! We play games while we wait on the pizza to get here and then eat in front of the TV while we watch the movie we've rented. I guess that is the big deal for them - we always eat at the table.

I am sooooo up for a challenge. I've been feeling really mixed emotions about my whole weight loss plans. I don't even know if I can explain it. I am not discouraged and I am still very motivated. But it is almost as if my brain hasn't caught up with my body and I get all of these conflicting messages. In any given half hour I can look in the mirror and think, WOW! and pass by 10 minutes later and see nothing but pure fat. And that has given me a strange relationship with eating these days. Since I started I've been trying to average 1500 calories a day. Lately, though, I have these horrible guilty pangs about eating even when I'm within my calorie range. I THINK that might come from the fact that I get full on so much less food now. I feel a little stuffed on 1500 calories these days and it is that feeling (not the food) that makes me feel guilty. Like, last night, I had two slices of veggie pizza and a salad for dinner but I was still under 1200 calories for the day. So, I waited a while and a couple of hours later I had another piece to get myself to 1200 calories. I felt HORRIBLE after I had eaten it - like when I used to sneak that last slice after everyone else had gone to bed. Weird. Still, I'm not going to drop my calorie level because I am still losing weight here albeit slower than I used to. And, I think it is a healthy range. Again, it must be my brain needing to catch up with my body because my eating HABITS are fine but my eating ATTITUDES need some work.

Whew! I do ramble on! All of that to say I think a challenge may be just what I need. I think I can use getting back to the basics of focusing on one smaller goal and putting less thought into all of the bigger dynamics I am facing. They seem to be distracting me from concentrating on these last 20 pounds. I'll try to stay aware of my feelings and attitude but first and foremost I need to get to my goal weight. Just tell me when, where, and how much for the challenge.

I'm going to go and work in the garden a bit before the gym opens at 1. There is absolutley nothing to do out there but I'm obsessed with these tomatoes and peppers I just can't stop piddling out there. I think I'm just looking for excuses to sit out there and see if I can watch them grow. I realized this weekend that I had some suckers that I had missed pinching off. They had grown big, blossomed, and had fruit on them. It broke my heart but I cut them off in an effort to make sure the other tomatoes were of high quality. After only two days I can tell a difference in how much they have grown and I know they'll taste better since the sugar isn't being spread so thinly between them. I have to keep telling myself, "quality over quantity, quality over quantity." I've decided next year I'll get a determinate variety so that I don't have to worry about pruning so much.

I'll check in with you all later!


Vegan Vixen
05-22-2005, 11:05 AM
Tricia, you are doing the right thing by not restricting below 1,200-1,500 a day! 1,500 is considered the minimum lower level (for a healthy woman of average size) that is needed to keep the metabolism chugging along at a healthy rate! Good for you for working through those feelings and taking care of your body!

I am up for a challenge! What does this usually entail? (I'm excited!)

Today I fast all day and do my usual sunday yoga workshop, so that means 8-10 hours of yoga and meditation! I didn't go to the gym yesterday and I won't go today so I am really looking forward to getting back there tomorrow!

05-22-2005, 12:18 PM
Good Morning! :)

I just got home from work, and I am in such a good mood! This weekend has been one of those combinations of really good and really busy days. The school had a family weekend and coupled it with program and high school graduation with a big luau theme. This meant making a super big, fancy breaky every morning, and for 60-70 instead of 25-30. It was hard work, but I really did myself proud. :)

Now, the thing I am most proud of isn't the pretty food I made this weekend, but it is the fact that I stayed out of all of it! :D I kept an affirmation running in my head for every time I was tempted to stray into the goodies set out. Each time I found myself ready to reach for one or make an excuse as to why I deserved it, I would say, "I love Tony and I love myself enough to not eat this." The Tony part is because of a thing we used to say to each other about how he had to turn his health around so he would live forever for me. The other day he point-blanked me and asked if I loved him enough to get healthy and live forever for him. Damn... The thing is, I do love him enough. I love my girls enough, and most importantly, I love myself enough. My weight tears at my body a little more each day, and even though I'm healthy enough right now, there is no saying how much longer my body can hold out before this card castle comes crashing down around me. I'm going to love myself through to a healthy weight. :)

Tricia, habits and attitudes... you hit on a big one for me right there. It is so funny to hear my same problems mirrored by someone who is 20 lbs. from her goal weight. Thank you for your insights, because they help to heal me. :)

Lucky, the weather really has been odd this year, hasn't it? Still, the extra rain we've been getting here is gratefully received. :) Any ideas for a challenge? Remember the month long ones we used to do that had points you add up each day for specific positive behaviors? We could do a shorter version of that, maybe 2 weeks long. I'm going to leave that up to you guys while I get some sleep today! :lol: And I do that magazine trick as well! I bought one almost a month ago that I just knew I would read. I'm guessing it has been tossed by now, cause it sure isn't anywhere to be found. :lol:

FatVegan, Hello! Wow, your Sunday routine sounds so cool! Toss in a challenge idea or two if you have one. :)

I've got to get outta here and get some rest while the house is still cool and quiet. Take care, all!


05-22-2005, 02:15 PM
Welcome FatVegan! And thank you for your encouragement. Our most recent challenge was overcoming our biggest hurdles (exercising as often as needed, staying within our calorie range, whatever it was that week that we were having trouble with). More often, though, our challenges have been a 2x2 - losing 2 pounds in two weeks. If you have any ideas we'd love to hear them. One thing I love about this group is that we are all game for just about anything!

I'm game for another weight loss challenge just because that seems to be what we are all focusing on right now. But by all means I'm in for anything you guys come up with.

Andria, I don't have any doubt that you can lose weight and discover a healthier you. And you absolutley have the perfect motivation to drive you. Prepare yourself though for days (or weeks, or months) when even that isn't enough. Even the best motivators can fade as we progress and sometimes we have to do the right choices for no other reason than it is the right thing to do-whether we are motivated to do it or not.
I think, at my heaviest, I had the attitude that you are overcoming now. I had a "healthy enough" outlook. But, let me tell you, I had no idea what I was talking about. Healthy enough to me meant that I didn't have any immediate life-threatening issues as a result of being overweight. But now that I've shed so much fat and can feel the difference I know without a doubt that I was not even close to being healthy enough. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

Oops, gotta run. Greg just came in to let me know that the back window of our van just shattered for no apparent reason AND they've caught a snake. I don't know which one upsets me the most!


05-22-2005, 02:34 PM

Okay, from the past, we know we don't like those!!! :yes:

FatVegan, welcome and if you have any challange ideas, jump in.

When is Gloria back - tomorrow??? 2X2 is okay with me, Tricia.

Oh, Andria, Tony pulled out the BIG gun on you. However, as a medical person in training, he must know you can only lose weight for yourself, because you want to. Right? However, I am with Tony on the health thing - and since I am in your same boat - there is no saying how much longer my body can hold out before this card castle comes crashing down around me. we can help each other be healthy and slim!!! :ebike: :wl:

Tricia, if your not hungry do you HAVE to hit 1200 that day? Maybe the next day or the next you will want to have something extra and could eat those calories that day. Of course, you are the one losing weight not me so maybe I should :ziplip: .

Still very windy here. Of course it's not like I don't have enough to do inside. :mad:


05-22-2005, 07:27 PM
Lucky, I have tried eating only if I was hungry even if I went below 1200 for the day. It solved my problem of feeling stuffed but caused more havoc - I was out of energy, had a difficult time during my workouts, I was in a bad mood, and worse yet my weight loss actually slowed down that week.

I do stagger my calories though so I already have low and high calorie days built into my plan. I think what I am going to try is breaking my calories down into even more meals. Right now I eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, sometimes snack. My snacks are usually very small so I think if I just eat a little less at my main meals and a little more as a snack I may feel better.

And speaking of snacks, I've come across a couple of new good ones. Blue Bunny Sweet Freedom Fugde Lites and Strawberry Lites. One of the fudgecicles only have 35 calories and are sugar/fat free plus they have a decent amount of fiber. The Strawberry Lites are sugar free strawberry ice cream with a crunchy chocolate shell and have 90 calories and 6 grams of fat (5 of them saturated). Obviously, they are the less healthy choice but still pretty good as far as ice cream bars go.

We are having spinach quiche for dinner and the timer just went off so I gotta run. You guys have a great night!


05-22-2005, 11:28 PM
Hey everyone :)

I just got back from a walk with my girls. We were down near the river, and everything blooming there makes the air smell so sweet! It felt good to be outside and seeing sunshine. One more day of work! This is a good thing, considering my house has been falling into a shambles the last few days. Why can't the cleaning faerie show up on the days I work as well? She seems to only be around on my days off... Hrm... might be a pattern there. :lol:

Tricia, you must have been reading my mind! I was going to get on and ask for safer treat ideas. It is funny how easily you can forget. :) I like the idea of increasing your snack size a little bit, especially if you are having fatigue problems on the lower calorie days. Makes perfect sense to me! Hey, on the glass front, were all the windows up tight on your van? My dad used to install auto glass, and he would be called out to parking lots all the time for shattered windows. It gets too hot here, and the pressure change when you open a door can make it burst.

Lucky, yeah, that was one great big, smoking gun. :) He does know it has to be for me, but Tony also has a great way of knowing just when and what to say to give me that little boost I need to get back on the path. Quite frankly, I've been making excuses long enough. Time to get back to work, huh! And just cause I'm thinking of you right now, I'm going to go do some crunches on my big *** ball this very minute!


05-23-2005, 10:17 AM
Andria, we can't figure out this window for the life of us. All of the window were up (they are automatic so they shouldn't have been any tighter than usual). We are having warmer weather but certainly nothing close to what they have to sustain (100+) during the summers. In fact, the temperature yesterday was less than 90 degrees. And nothing touched it as far as we can tell - no signs or a kid with a bb gun, or a crashing bird. And we hadn't opened the doors or anything. It just broke for no apparent reason. Our insurance will cover it and our deductable will be $250 or less. Greg was cleaning out the garage while the kids were playing and riding their bikes. I'm just so thankful that they were all in the garage with him at the time. They could have very easily been in the line of fire so to speak.

You are very lucky that Tony cares enough about you to be honest about your weight. I've read so many posts in other threads from women whose husbands/boyfriends complained that they weren't physically attractive because of their weight. What a horrible relationship to be in. I know that Greg appreciates the look of a thinner more fit woman - but I also know that he sees the whole picture when it comes to me. He has encouraged me to lose weight and I am grateful for that because I know it was done so that we will have a higher quality (and longer) life together not because he couldn't stand to look at me. So, find a way to stick with this because you deserve it and Tony deserves it!

This is Will's last week of school. Wednesday is a half day and then he is done. You know, everyone warned me how hard it would be to drop him off for his first day of kindergarten. But not one person mentioned how sad I would feel on his last day! His teacher made books and journals out of their work and they are in order from the first day on. Just thumbing through them and seeing his progress is so exciting but makes me miss the LITTLE little boy too. He informed me this morning that sometimes when boys think a girl is pretty they say that she is "hot". He went on to explain that they don't say it to her face just when she can't here. So here we are getting dressed and I'm explaining to a 6 year old that girls like it much better if you just tell them they are pretty to their face and that calling them hot behind their back might be a compliment but it is a rude one.

Well, I weighed in at 156.6 this morning but I checked my body fat percentage last night and was down 1%. So, I'm down 1.5 lbs. of fat, and up 1.2 in either muscle or water. I'm okay with that. I'll have my measurements taken at the gym on the 1st and I expect that they will support the scale. I'm trying so hard not to get ahead of myself. The scale gets stuck for a while about every 5 lbs now and I have to take a deep breath, think about it logically, and forget about it. I know everyone says that maintenance is the hard part because you don't have the instant gratification from the scale. But I can't wait to get there. I'm not being instantly gratified NOW so I really look forward to the day I can get on the scale and just be concerned with whether or not it went up - not crossing my fingers and hoping that it went down.

It is time for breakfast. You all have a terrific day!


05-23-2005, 02:52 PM
Yay! I get to amend my last post. I was getting my clothes out of the closet this morning and had to move my scale. When I did I noticed that the settings had been changed (this is a favorite toy of the kids what with all the beeps and everything). So I adjusted them back to 0 and, what do you know, I actually did lose scale weight this week - 1.4 pounds! So, that means I only gained half a pound of muscle but lost 2 pounds of ugly, ugly, fat!

I know I shouldn't care. I know I shouldn't get so excited about the scale. But, I do so that is that. My day just got a whole lot better!


05-23-2005, 08:46 PM
Hey everyone :)

I just got back from Curves with my oldest daughter. We had so much fun! They were playing some salsa kind of music, and the two of us were dancing on the recovery stations. Our owner, Judy, ran to get sombreros and maracas for the two of us. We were dancing around between the machines and having a ball! I love that my daughter isn't so painfully shy like I was at her age. We had a blast! :)

Today was my first day logging all my food and exercise on DietPower. From what I gather, it is a lot like FitDay that Tricia uses. I have my goal weight set for one month out, and the program helps figure out my metabolism and the proper caloric intake for me to reach that goal. I've used it in the past and loved it, but like anything, it was easy to let slide until I wasn't doing it at all anymore. It felt so empowering to log my food and exercise and see that I'm right on track for the day. :D

Tricia, Congratulations! You are getting sososo close to your goal! The window thing does sound bizarre. I'm with you on being grateful no one was around to get hurt. Your story about your little boy brought back so many memories. There are days I really miss my girls being little, but wow, they are so much fun now. We don't get to keep them long enough, though. It kills me to think that I have maybe 4 more years with my oldest, unless I can talk her into living with us during college. I'm prepared to beg, BTW! :lol:

Lucky, did the wind get you? ;) Actually, I'm guessing you are busy (busier than usual, I should say!) catching up on everything you weren't able to do while you were studying. Just wanted an excuse to say hi to you. :)

Kat, I miss you.

Anyone know where Kat is or how she is doing?

I need to get dinner made before all my energy fades. I am so up today that I kind of didn't nap after getting off work this morning... Oops?

Talk to you all later! :)


05-24-2005, 11:27 AM
Andria, you are sososo right. I am close to my goal.

The problem? The closer I get to 135 the more I realize that somewhere between 115 and 120 is probably closer to what I will be happy with. I'm making a real effort not to get ahead of myself so I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Have a great day!


5 dogs
05-24-2005, 02:14 PM
I'm back and boy it feels good to be home. Have lots to tell you but for now i need food and a shower.
I feel like I've been road hard and put away wet.
Talk to you soon.

5 dogs
05-24-2005, 04:25 PM
Gina is my DIL. She is the one who graduated.

5 dogs
05-24-2005, 04:41 PM

5 dogs
05-24-2005, 05:01 PM

05-24-2005, 07:47 PM
Yippee, Gloria is back. I can't wait to hear all the stories. You look so pretty - but I think you stole my hair cut!!!!!

Anyway, I have to go to the Nursing Home - check in later.

5 dogs
05-24-2005, 08:18 PM
Yes yes yes, i am so into a new challenge. I have an idea for a new one that I'd like your opinion on. We all know that exercise plays a big part in losing weight but its not something we have to do each and everyday, so i was thinking maybe we could set a goal of how much exercise we are going to do for that week, and then report on how much we actually accomplished at the end of the week. Eating is something we have to do each and everyday and altho sometime i do eat the wrong foods, it is something that I'm more aware of when I'm doing it. Exercising for me has become a chore and its something i tell myself i can put off till tomorrow. Well, tomorrow comes and goes and still no Y.M.C.A or riding old blue. This is the one place i am having soooo much trouble with. So what do you think?

Welcome Vegan Vixen. I'm looking forward to getting to know you. I've been away for the past week for my DIL's graduation but am now ready to start a new beginning.

Lucky, i am 53 years old and have had the same hairdo since i was in my twenties. Now if your younger than me, then maybe YOU stole my do from me.

Talk to y'all soon.
P.S. I was looking at the picture i posted today and realized that i have a fat face. Must do something about that.

05-25-2005, 10:56 AM
Fat face? Gloria, what are you talking about? When I saw your picture I thought to myself that you don't even look overweight! You have a beautiful family. What kind of doctor will your DIL be?

Well, today is Will's last day of kindergarten. :( I'm feeling a bit emotional to say the least. He came home yesterday with a big surprise for me in his bookbag. He won the Citizenship Award for his class - he was the best behaved and most helpful throughout the year. In fact, he was the only kid in his class who didn't even get a warning for bad behavior. Needless to say I am about to burst at the seams with pride. It isn't easy for a six year old to control himself all year long! He said that they called is name over the intercom (and the kids from the other classes that had won various awards) and asked them to report to the library. When he got there the principal was waiting for them and gave them their certificates. He was so excited that he got to shake her hand - you know in kindergarten the principal is practically a celebrity. I have to admit that the best part for me is that now he has something that he wants to strive to live up to. He's set a standard for himself so to speak. In fact, that was one of the first things he told me - that he hoped he could get this again in the first grade.

I've gotta run and get dressed. Today is just a half day and he has invited the entire family (my parents and his cousin) to McDonald's for a "celebration lunch".

I will be back later, though. I have some diet, weight loss, motivation, issues that I need support and advice on. Talk to you then.


5 dogs
05-25-2005, 12:44 PM
Wow, you all are the best! Thank you for telling me I'm pretty and don't look like i need to lose weight, but the fact of the matter is when someone pulls out a camera and wants to start taking pictures, i always find someone to stand in front of me so all you can see of me is from the wast up. Because I'm tall, (5'9') an extra 10 pounds doesn't look to bad on me. Its my clothes that i have a hard time dealing with because everything is tight tight tight, so i tend to wear everything baggy.

You have every right to brag away on you son, Tricia. Children are so very precious and when they know there parents are bursting with pride because of something they did, there self esteem improves tremendously.

My DIL has a Ph.D. in political science. The day Gina graduated, her father, who also has a Ph.D and teaches at the same university, put the hooded robes on her. I was told that only a person with a Ph.D can hood a graduating student. So my question is, who put the hooded robes on the first graduating student?

Have a ton of wash waiting for me so will say so long for now.

05-25-2005, 09:10 PM
Stop do not post here but join us on "Sanctuary - #23 Everyone Welcome"