[fireflynova]

I've been having a very hard time as of late, well.. as of the last few months. Some of you may have noticed I haven't been around.

I haven't fallen completely off program, but I'm not doing it the way I should. Which has resulted in me floating in between 168 and 175 lbs for a few months now.. and had I been completely on program, with exercise I'd be that much closer to my goal.

I'm working full time, overnights, as a dispatcher - meaning I can't leave my desk for more than a few minutes. I've never had a problem staying OP at work before, I'd chug my water, bring veggies and hummus, or stuff to toss in the microwave and I'd be golden.

Now I'm also working part time, on the ambulance AND going to school 3 nights a week before doing my overnight dispatching. While I work on the ambulance I don't have time to find other things to eat, except fast food (usually subway or a salad from another fast food place). Sleep is another issue that's screwing me up also. I don't have time to COOK the way I used to - I end up eating Phase II meals all day, just to give me the energy I need.

And exercise? I haven't time to breathe, nevermind go to the gym on a regular basis. I've only been going 1 day a week, which probably isn't benefiting me in the least.

I'm not trying to make excuses, but I'm really having a hard time. I think I just need some motivation. I keep saying that I'll be strictly on program tomorrow - and I start off that way, for a few days - then it's back to just eating on the run and not having time for 2 or 3 days after that. It's a vicious cycle. And each time I try to do Phase I as a "starting over" point, it's 10 times harder than the first time I did it almost a year ago..

Any advice? Motivation? A huge kick in the butt?

[beachgal]

Tracy, I don't think you're complaining...I think you are overwhelmed! I can't imagine trying to do that schedule!

Will this be going on for long? How long do you have to do this schedule? Do you think you can be healthy maintaining this weight?

If you think you can be healthy maintaining this weight until you are done with at least one (or more) of these commitments (like school), then I would recommend doing that. Squeeze in as much exercise as you can (like videotapes or walk away the pounds, or even a couple handweights you keep on the rig and do a couple sets whenever you can), and eat as healthy as you can. Sleep helps you lose pounds...when you aren't sleeping as well, the pounds don't drop off as well. I'm not a scientist, so I can't explain why, but I read it several times, it makes sense to me, and it does seem to be proved true.

Stay as healthy as you can and keep yourself from eating more than you should. Get your energy from protein, not carbs, even good ones. That doesn't last and you're left wanting more. Find some fast food places that are better than others and stick to them. Try to cook a ton of food when you get a day off and freeze it. Throw it in containers to take to work so you'll eat healthy as much as you can. Do you have a friend or family member that can cook for you? If you have the two jobs, maybe you can afford to pay them a bit to do this and help you out.

I know you can do this when you have the time and energy. For now, maybe you just need to try to maintain and be as healthy as you can. We've missed you around here, girl!