Yesterday I was helping out at our church lunch and we were making sandwiches, simple enough. They also had the bite size brownies that are so incredibly good...not that I had one..no why stop at 1 when they are so small? Every time I passed the box, I had 1 at first because I was so incredibly hungry and then I kept thinking of good excuses why the next one would be ok too. So without really thinking about it I had consumed....let's see.. maybe 5 or was it 7?.
Hmmm, well that's not the best thing to be doing. So I have figured out why my weight has stalled for so long. I lie to myself about what I've been eating everyday. When I think about it, I always have an excuse to eat some treat just this once. I have slipped into stage 3. And it's really hard to pull back into the "no, I really don't want this today" mode. Because my mouth/tummy is saying, "oh, yes you do, you really, really want that brownie. It will make you feel so much better. But that one isn't enough becounse now it's in the tummy and the mouth wants to taste it more. Eat another." Oh, well, life goes on right?
I think that I'm happy where I am right now. My blood pressure is good, I can walk, run, climb stairs without being winded or my knees hurting. My clothes fit and don't cut off the circulation any where. I'm still on the plushy side of healthy and I only really want to lose more weight because "I ought to..be within a normal BMI or closer to my 'normal' weight." So maybe I'm sabitoging myself with out really thinking about it much.
I do it too. I've been avoiding the scale the past couple of weeks because I know that I'm eating too much OP food. (ie too much WW Bread) I don't want to deal with it. I don't treat myself with anything off the plan because it doesn't feel like a treat to me afterwards most of the time. Cravings are starting to come back because of the amount of carbs.....I think I may have to switch back to P1 for a few days. Maybe you should do the same? Don't stop now, you're so close. Sure, 155 is fine now, but 7 weeks of 7 brownie bits here, 8 brownie bits there later you're going to be hurting inside and out. Keep going girl.
I needed to change that ticker, I sort of didn't stay at 155 for very long. I was quite happy when I saw it but then the next day was back up to 158. Dehydration is so misleading.
Right now I fluctuate between 158 and 160. Which isn't bad considering I've been at this weight since last Sept. Usually I start gaining again because I get so discougared. With this eating style, it's easy to jump back on after a mis-step, like the 7 brownie bites yesterday.
I do attempt phase 1, I usually last about a day before I slip up with something tasty. So now it's more like a phase 1 breakfast, dinner and snacks and lunch is phase 2. The first time I did phase 1 I did it without any problems, no cheating, completely by the book. If it was not on the phase 1 food to enjoy list it did not pass my lips.
I don't mean to sound like I'm whining. These are choices that I am making, I know that I am making these choices. I do enjoy each and every one of my treats and don't feel guilty about them...well that is a lie, the brownie incident wasn't one of my finer hours. Usually, I plan my treats a little better and don't feel guilty.
Sarah, I know exactly what you mean. (a real group hug because I know that you and I are not alone!)
Hon, if you sit down and think about it, you'll get really pissed at food. The truth is, it might feel good in your mouth, but in the end, it doesn't make you feel good. It hurts you in so many ways and just makes your problems worse. You know this, but you've spent X many years trying to think that food can solve your problems. It'll take quite a while before we can break those bad habits for good. I'm hoping I can get a couple of maintainers to chime in here about how they quit those thoughts. In the meantime, now that you know you lie to yourself...stop! Don't let those voices take over. Remember how precious and special you are and that you deserve better than to stuff yourself with food that just hurts you physically and emotionally.
Consider a support group like OA to help you get through this. Journal here at 3FC so we can chime in and let you know you're not alone. You can do it, Sarah. :
I have gotten so much better at my emotional eating, you would be so proud of me, shoot I'm proud of me! I used to turn to food whenever for every excuse under the sun, then feel so incredibly stupid and put myself down to the point I wanted another pint of Ben and Jerry's and a can of spray whip cream just to further drawn my sorrows. The evil circle of food
I've read so many self help books that have helped me tremedously, Dr. Phil's book, and Jorge Cruise's books are great. Plus a few others I can't think of right now. It's a matter of liking and accepting yourself now, before the weight loss. You aren't going to change who you are and if you don't like yourself now, you aren't going to like yourself when you are thinner.
Now I know when I'm doing something illogical, I was just sharing what was going through my brain yesterday and it happens so fast that you've eaten whatever you're thinking about before you stop and say, "hey, that's not right thinking, stop that." Yesterday was purely...what word am I looking for?... greediness? it tasted good so I wanted more, skipping the brain part of thinking about it. Once I stopped and realized how many I had been eating, I was like, "hmmm, bad choices, salad is much better for me and this sandwich on whole wheat bread is a much better choice right now."
I guess something is shaking up. I wearing my skinny jeans today. I bought several pairs last year when I first starting losing weight, in a variety of sizes because I hit a great sale. A couple weeks ago the size 10 relaxed weren't quite relaxed enough to wear (and breathe at the same time) and today I'm wearing them (breatheing just fine). Yeah!
I joined a running club. DH couldn't believe it when I told him that I joined Road Runners. They have a begining women's running class and we run together 2 days a week and we are supposed to run 2 days on our own. Hmmm, well eventually I'm sure I'll do the other 2 days. It's fun, you don't have to be graceful or fast to be a runner, just throw on some running shoes and lift those knees a little bit and get to shuffling around the track. Shoot I think the majority of us can walk as fast as we are running.
Adia, you are a dear...that's how I often feel about other people. Sometimes the words just come when you need them.
Sarah, it sounds like you are doing great!!! I know what you mean about the taste. The headache I get almost immediately when I eat sugar is a good reminder that the taste isn't enough. I love having a piece of SF hard candy when I just have to have the taste of something sweet.
Iused to do this all the time. Now I keep a food journal. I don't eat anything until I log it in my notebook. Keeps me honest and makes me think Congrats on joining the running club!
Has anyone discovered they lie to themselves?
Usually, I plan my treats a little better and don't feel guilty. 
(a real group hug because I know that you and I are not alone!)
: 
I love having a piece of SF hard candy when I just have to have the taste of something sweet. 
