I'm exactly one year, one month and one day out of surgery. I've been thinking all month about the things that are different in my life in this last year. It's amazing how much has changed and it's also amazing how much has stayed the same.
The changes:
I'm healthy! My blood pressure is great, my arthritis is much, much better and I'm no longer pre-diabetic. I've had to reduce my dose of thyroid medication because of the weight loss too.
I am so much happier. The pressure of always fighting my escalating weight was huge and was always on my mind. I feel liberated.
I am much more willing to be me. I'm less afraid to say what I think, no matter what anyone else thinks. I consciously made last year the "Year of the Chickadee" and tried to put myself first. I practiced saying no to things I didn't want to do and practiced figuring out what it was that makes me happy.
I've gained a lot of confidence this year. I no longer worry that the first thing people will think is "man, she's fat!" I really and truly believe that I am worthwhile and if someone doesn't want to get to know me, it's their loss.
Things that stayed the same:
I still have food demons. When I'm upset I still want to reach for something crappy. I still want the comfort that food used to bring. I'm sure I will fight this for the rest of my life!
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up! At almost 47 years old, I'm still kind of floundering on what my "second career" should be. Having WLS doesn't change your brain.
There are times that I still have to force myself to exercise. Even though I like it once I'm at the gym, I still can find excuse after excuse to not go. I think I thought that once I was smaller, and after having done it faithfully for a year, exercise would be second nature and I wouldn't have to make myself go.
Even though I've lost 80 pounds (and still have 40 to go) I'm not going to be a contender for "America's Next Top Model" any time soon. I'm okay with that, but I think in the back of my mind I thought I'd become a tall, leggy blonde. Not really, but I probably had a few unreal expectations.
I'm so happy I had my LapBand surgery. I have every expectation in the world that I will reach my goal this year. This surgery isn't known for fast results, but I knew that going in. I wouldn't change this last year for anything!
Congratulations on losing those 80 pounds Chickadee! That is great and your health has improved nicely, too.
You have done great with exercising. At least you can make yourself go! I had to resort to doing something very fun or I didn't exercise much. Dance lessons was the key for me, but is not as regular as I'd like.
I'm also feeling a bit like...where do I go from here? I hope you find your niche and reach your goal all in the same year. You have come a long way already, Little Chickie!
Here's wishing you a second year that is as successful in your banding journey as the first has been!
I think it is important to reflect on where we've been and to appreciate our newfound pleasures. I never want to take this for granted.
I think food demons and exercise issues are the norm for lots of people, even those who have never had a serious weight issue. It's a good fight, and sounds as if you are doing great.
yaaaayyyyyy chickadeedeedear!!!!! you went into this after much research and with a whole big pile of determination, and you've done FABULOUS work... with great results...
it's a little strange to say, but the first year is the easiest in many ways. the maintenance and the fact that it takes more work to lose are reality, and as we all know, reality BITES.
soooo, here's to more exploration and examination and self-focus than we'd ever thought we'd need!!!!
we can do this <yeah, i'm convincing myself as well!!!!!>
One Year, One Month & One Day
