Weight Loss Support - EMOTIONAL Eating.. Yikes.




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ThatbabyMadeMeFat
04-13-2005, 03:14 PM
This is kinda a rant/vent/beg for support here girls, so please bear with me.

I had a baby 6 months ago. Prior to that I had lost about 80 pounds and 60 inches. I was feeling oh-so-rock and roll and motivated and oops, I got pregnant. With that, I allowed myself to go wacky insane crazy and I ate everything in the world and gained back 30 pounds. Now, I am back on track and working out like mad but I have a very very very bad attachment to eating for the WRONG reasons, when I'm stressed (which happens with small kids at home) or lonely (which happens quite often) or sad.. ****, I even eat when I am happy! I can understand that you need to replace bad habits (eating for reasons other than hunger) with good habits (exercising, reading, talking to friends etc) but I constantly have to FORCE myself NOT to eat. It's like I do it on autopilot. If I'm not fully aware of what I'm doing I could easily eat an entire box of something insane and evil like Pop-tarts. Not even toasted, mind you. Not to get all pop-psychology or anything, but it's like I have this big, fat hole inside me that I am always trying to fill. Does anyone else ever feel this way? How do you fix it? Or until you fix it, how do you fake it until you make it (Hee. One of my Ediets pals always says that)

Any words 'o wisdom?


Luciole
04-13-2005, 03:58 PM
After 4 years of being mostly in control of what and how I eat, I still get like this time to time. I just did it today on a smaller (when compared to the old me) scale: Went downstairs to let the dog out and while waiting for her to do her biziness, I popped open the crisper where the Cool Whip is HIDDEN and began to scarf down 1/4 the container in addition to a couple of 3 musketeers minis and fig newtons. :shrug: That's like 400 empty calories that I'll have to weed out later :mad:

In your case, you've shown that you can be sucessful at dieting already. I don't blame you one bit for going "wacky insane crazy" with what you ate with your pregnancy. Yeah I know that the doctors say you only need to eat and gain so much, but you had a human growing inside of you! Talk about messin' around with your hormones and dieting schedule!

Basically it seems that you're back to your old, old habits (before your 80 lbs loss) and having trouble curbing them again. Maybe you do really have a psychological addiction to food (I seriously think that I do) in which case you could always go to a doctor and try to get it sorted out legitimately. I'd also investigate, if I were you, whether or not any of your over-eating could be caused by your post-partum situation. There are a lot of crazy changes that take hold in your chemistry during pregnancy and some keep hold for a long time after. I'm setting up to quit smoking soon :yikes: and I read that doctors are now prescribing, with pretty good results, medications like Welbutrin and Zoloft as cessation aids. These have a tendency to curb obsessive compulsive "nagging" thoughts and have helped a lot of people quit. Personally I'm more the tough-love, cold-turkey type--and I just don't want to take anything that messes with my brain--so I'm going to go it alone. But if you would talk to a doctor about your situation, I'd ask about that as well.

So how do you fake it until you make it? :) What I did to help control my constant binge eating was to just focus myself on foods that would barely impact my waistline. When I first started dieting, I would keep a hefty supply of things on hand that I could "eat as much of as I wanted". And when I started to feel "the need", couldn't stand it anymore, and found myself standing in the kitchen ready to consume anything and everything in sight, I would gorge myself on something healthy. Cut-up raw broccoli and low fat dressing. Steamed brussel sprouts and maybe fish. Fresh tomatoes. Bowls of canned green beans or stewed tomatoes. And I'm not saying that I would eat a snack of these, I would eat bowl after bowl of them until I was stuffed. I found that it didn't matter what I was eating, just that I was eating. It's disturbing to think that I really needed to eat that badly, but I did--and once I had finally stuffed myself to the point of discomfort, at least I felt some relieve from my thoughts of food. I obviously can't say that this would work for you, but maybe if you can channel your eating urges towards low calories foods, the binges won't hurt so badly.

Over time I've managed to eliminate most of my obsession with food as well as these types of behavior. With your previous dieting sucess I bet you'll do the same. Having a baby is a huge change and stressor. I think you've coped well to not have gained back all of the weight you lost! I hope you get some better advice than mine. I haven't been in your exact situation so all I can do is offer up what I've learned in my own.

Best of luck and welcome to the forums!

Momadance
04-13-2005, 04:04 PM
I don't know how other people did it, but I decided that my relationship with food was like the worst relationship I'd ever had a with a guy and I had to break up with it. And it was a totally dysfunctional relationship that just made me crazy, and the more I thought about it and broke it down, the more crazy I got, till one day, I realized I had to breakup with my usual foods and start dating new ones. For a one month, I could eat anything I wanted, as long as it wasn't by "default" - you know, those foods you eat because you always order the pulled pork sandwich when you go out for barbque, or the fish & chips & pint you get when you go to the Irish pub. Or the pop-tarts you buy and then eat the whole box because, really, they aren't that big and isn't the fat content on them pretty low? I figured out what my default foods were and I dumped them. When tempted, I tried to remember those drunken phonecalls to my ex which never, ever made me feel better, just worse. I found out there is a whole new world of foods out there that don't have any emotional attachment to me and I can enjoy them without punishing myself. The next part, for me, was much easier - trimming up my meals, eating more veggies & fruit - but doing it because I truly enjoyed eating them rather than I had to because I was on "a diet."

If you are eating to feed your emotions, try breaking the food associations first - if you always eat poptarts when your kids are melting down (for me it was Hershey w/Almonds - not the little bar, but the big one) try something completely new for a while and see how it feels. If you find things you can not live without, find ways to make them ok - I gave up 1/2 & 1/2 in my coffee for a week and found life was just not worth living - so now it is tied to exercise - I can only have it if I exercised the day before. Last month, I exercised all but 5 days, two months before I think I may have exercised 1 day the whole month. But I love my 1/2 & 1/2 and when the urge to exercise is waning, the smell of that coffee brewing is what gets me off the couch and moving.

Does any of this sound feasible?


ThatbabyMadeMeFat
04-13-2005, 04:44 PM
In your case, you've shown that you can be sucessful at dieting already. I don't blame you one bit for going "wacky insane crazy" with what you ate with your pregnancy. Yeah I know that the doctors say you only need to eat and gain so much, but you had a human growing inside of you! Talk about messin' around with your hormones and dieting schedule!

I know. And being pregnant is VERY vulnerable to a lot of women. Plus, my husband can be a major a-hole so that didn't help :) I slipped into that whole "eating as self-comfort, self-medicating thing" and it's hard to crawl back outta that hole!

Basically it seems that you're back to your old, old habits (before your 80 lbs loss) and having trouble curbing them again. Maybe you do really have a psychological addiction to food (I seriously think that I do) in which case you could always go to a doctor and try to get it sorted out legitimately. I'd also investigate, if I were you, whether or not any of your over-eating could be caused by your post-partum situation. There are a lot of crazy changes that take hold in your chemistry during pregnancy and some keep hold for a long time after. I'm setting up to quit smoking soon :yikes: and I read that doctors are now prescribing, with pretty good results, medications like Welbutrin and Zoloft as cessation aids. These have a tendency to curb obsessive compulsive "nagging" thoughts and have helped a lot of people quit. Personally I'm more the tough-love, cold-turkey type--and I just don't want to take anything that messes with my brain--so I'm going to go it alone. But if you would talk to a doctor about your situation, I'd ask about that as well.

Yeah, I have considered that.. I'm not sure if drugs can be taken with breastfeeding though.. but yes! Raise your hand if you are a food addict! : raises hand high:

So how do you fake it until you make it? :) What I did to help control my constant binge eating was to just focus myself on foods that would barely impact my waistline. When I first started dieting, I would keep a hefty supply of things on hand that I could "eat as much of as I wanted". And when I started to feel "the need", couldn't stand it anymore, and found myself standing in the kitchen ready to consume anything and everything in sight, I would gorge myself on something healthy. Cut-up raw broccoli and low fat dressing. Steamed brussel sprouts and maybe fish. Fresh tomatoes. Bowls of canned green beans or stewed tomatoes. And I'm not saying that I would eat a snack of these, I would eat bowl after bowl of them until I was stuffed. I found that it didn't matter what I was eating, just that I was eating. It's disturbing to think that I really needed to eat that badly, but I did--and once I had finally stuffed myself to the point of discomfort, at least I felt some relieve from my thoughts of food. I obviously can't say that this would work for you, but maybe if you can channel your eating urges towards low calories foods, the binges won't hurt so badly.

I think that's a very good, practical idea. I am gonna have to try that. let' s see how I do bingeing on salad..

BTW, you have done great on your loss! Thanks for all your suggestions-- it helps so much to be able to talk to people!

ThatbabyMadeMeFat
04-13-2005, 04:50 PM
I don't know how other people did it, but I decided that my relationship with food was like the worst relationship I'd ever had a with a guy and I had to break up with it. And it was a totally dysfunctional relationship that just made me crazy, and the more I thought about it and broke it down, the more crazy I got, till one day, I realized I had to breakup with my usual foods and start dating new ones. For a one month, I could eat anything I wanted, as long as it wasn't by "default" - you know, those foods you eat because you always order the pulled pork sandwich when you go out for barbque, or the fish & chips & pint you get when you go to the Irish pub. Or the pop-tarts you buy and then eat the whole box because, really, they aren't that big and isn't the fat content on them pretty low? I figured out what my default foods were and I dumped them. When tempted, I tried to remember those drunken phonecalls to my ex which never, ever made me feel better, just worse. I found out there is a whole new world of foods out there that don't have any emotional attachment to me and I can enjoy them without punishing myself. The next part, for me, was much easier - trimming up my meals, eating more veggies & fruit - but doing it because I truly enjoyed eating them rather than I had to because I was on "a diet."

If you are eating to feed your emotions, try breaking the food associations first - if you always eat poptarts when your kids are melting down (for me it was Hershey w/Almonds - not the little bar, but the big one) try something completely new for a while and see how it feels. If you find things you can not live without, find ways to make them ok - I gave up 1/2 & 1/2 in my coffee for a week and found life was just not worth living - so now it is tied to exercise - I can only have it if I exercised the day before. Last month, I exercised all but 5 days, two months before I think I may have exercised 1 day the whole month. But I love my 1/2 & 1/2 and when the urge to exercise is waning, the smell of that coffee brewing is what gets me off the couch and moving.

Does any of this sound feasible?

WOWWOWWOW. I love that.. thinking of bad foods as an ex! That's great! I need to break up with a lot of foods. Godiva is like heroin to me. I can just NEVER EVER have it. Because 1 piece will NEVER be enough. I have"danger foods" I avoid at all costs. I cannot be trusted around certain things. At least not yet. I want to get back to the point where I don't have to think about food as anything other than fuel. I want to stop missing it, ya know? Sometimes it feels like I've lost my best pal :( Anyway, you girlies are very wise. I feel better just reading these things!!!

Luciole
04-14-2005, 06:55 AM
...I love that.. thinking of bad foods as an ex! That's great! I need to break up with a lot of foods. Godiva is like heroin to me. I can just NEVER EVER have it. Because 1 piece will NEVER be enough. I have"danger foods" I avoid at all costs. I cannot be trusted around certain things. At least not yet...

:rofl: I laughed out loud when I read that. Two words: H-O-N-E-Y B-U-N-S. God, was I ever in love with Mrs. Freshley's honey buns. I don't know what it is about them--I've never met anyone else who even likes them--but they were simply irresistable to me. They're just so... soft, and greasy, and sweet... my god you don't even have to chew them; they just sliiiiiide down your throat. The vending machine near my office always had them stocked and I used to have 2 or 3 a day.

I have not eaten a honey bun in over 4 years. Every other temptation I've allowed myself to have now and then--donuts, ice cream, cookies, chips--but never ever honey buns! I have this superstition that if I eat one I'll never be able to stop again. I just can't restrict myself to one.

So, I guess it's officially over between me in honey buns. Out of all the vending machines in all the buildings in all of the world, why did they have to be stocked in mine??? :dunno: Ah well, I think I'm better of without them. Honey buns never loved me like I loved honey buns. *sigh*

ThatbabyMadeMeFat
04-14-2005, 08:33 AM
:rofl: I laughed out loud when I read that. Two words: H-O-N-E-Y B-U-N-S. God, was I ever in love with Mrs. Freshley's honey buns. I don't know what it is about them--I've never met anyone else who even likes them--but they were simply irresistable to me. They're just so... soft, and greasy, and sweet... my god you don't even have to chew them; they just sliiiiiide down your throat. The vending machine near my office always had them stocked and I used to have 2 or 3 a day.

I have not eaten a honey bun in over 4 years. Every other temptation I've allowed myself to have now and then--donuts, ice cream, cookies, chips--but never ever honey buns! I have this superstition that if I eat one I'll never be able to stop again. I just can't restrict myself to one.
*

Do you work for Conde Naste? Are you some undercover magazine food critic or something? Because I have NEVER had a Mrs. Freshley (And what BS name for a company is that?! I bet if it were named "Mr. Stale-ey's Honey Buns" no one would eat 'em) honey bun and now I want one after reading your description! HEY! Maybe we could start a new magazine just for dieters called "Food Porn" or something where we just describe all the really good food we can no longer eat..

Yes. I have lists of foods that HATE me. That never game me no LUV, that just made me miserable. One day I'm gonna go to Vermont and beat up Ben and Jerry! Anyone wanna come with me? :devil:

Momadance
04-14-2005, 10:11 AM
me & a pint of Ben & Jerries - my ideal menage a troi! I can't even imagine eating a whole pint of ice cream now, but I used to do it, at least once a month if not more. I've been thinking about ice cream lately, not in a craving way, but in a planning way. I've got two kids and a rural ice cream stand a few miles down the road. I'd hate to think I can't take my kids out for ice cream on a hot summer evening because I can't control myself, so I've started planning ahead. If I drive them there, then I get sorbet or sherbert or something tasty and guilt free. If I ride my bike there, then I can get a small ice cream, guilt free.

Instead of thinking of myself as on a diet, I think of myself as maintaining - this is my life now - and in order to maintain my happyness, I need to know that there is nothing off limits, but everything within limits.

Ok, off to the gym for weights, then home this afternoon for a long walk.

funniegrrl
04-14-2005, 11:27 AM
there is nothing off limits, but everything within limits.


What a GREAT turn of phrase!

jennie934
04-14-2005, 03:30 PM
I love the food as a BAD ex bit. but they are so hard to get rid of too.
When I'm on track I do so well but when I fall off, I think it perfectly normal to eat like 10 snack servings in a row. Its just so hard to stay on. I'm living with my parents but I hope when my son and I move out I will be able to elliminate a lot of the diet sabators that come into my house with out me buying them. If there aren't there, I won't eat them.
ThebabyMademe...Aftrer I had my son, At first I kind of kept eating the way I had been but once I got it undercontrol and started exercising, since I was breatfeeding, they weight just flew off. I didn't keep it off but it came off so easily. Its just getting it under control that hard to figure out.

Luciole
04-14-2005, 09:25 PM
...Do you work for Conde Naste? Are you some undercover magazine food critic or something? Because I have NEVER had a Mrs. Freshley (And what BS name for a company is that?! I bet if it were named "Mr. Stale-ey's Honey Buns" no one would eat 'em) honey bun and now I want one after reading your description...

LOL! I'm not nearly picky enough when it comes to food to critique it! And I apologize for making you think about the evil honey bun. It wasn't my intention to make them sound good!!! Mrs. Freshley's honey buns are to a real donut what McDonald's cheeseburgers are to a REAL cheeseburger. It's like they're a cheap imitation of the real thing, but sometimes that's what you want. I dunno... I think they lace the glaze.

Anyway, food porn? Here's the first page hehe: Enter at your own risk! (http://www.mrsfreshleys.com/Products/honeybuns.html) :devil:

almostheaven
04-15-2005, 09:51 AM
I don't blame you one bit for going "wacky insane crazy" with what you ate with your pregnancy. Yeah I know that the doctors say you only need to eat and gain so much, but you had a human growing inside of you! Talk about messin' around with your hormones and dieting schedule!

Tell me about it. I was eating whatever for the first 3 or 4 weeks after I found out. Cheesecake, donuts, you name it. But I got back on the wagon. STILL...even though I know I have to put on weight, I don't want to put on too much. Before I found out, at 2 months pregnant, I was pushing so hard to lose that I'd cut back to 1300 calories a day. I didn't realize it was so hard to lose because I was pregnant. LOL Now, even though I'm back to eating right and exercising, doing more than 45 minutes of aerobics would wear me out, so I generally stay with 30 to 45 minutes instead of my usual 60 to 90. As for the eating, I'm eating all the right foods against, but I can't EVEN get it under 2000 calories a day. A couple of times I managed to go around 1800, but I feel like I'm starving and I start getting sick. So I've stopped trying to even worry about the calories at all and eating whenever I feel I need to eat, just staying with the good stuff. I am allowing myself cheat moments though because I know once this is over I won't cheat again until I'm back down where I was.

ThatbabyMadeMeFat
04-15-2005, 01:22 PM
LOL! I'm not nearly picky enough when it comes to food to critique it! And I apologize for making you think about the evil honey bun. It wasn't my intention to make them sound good!!! Mrs. Freshley's honey buns are to a real donut what McDonald's cheeseburgers are to a REAL cheeseburger. It's like they're a cheap imitation of the real thing, but sometimes that's what you want. I dunno... I think they lace the glaze.

Anyway, food porn? Here's the first page hehe: Enter at your own risk! (http://www.mrsfreshleys.com/Products/honeybuns.html) :devil:

LOLOLOL.. Those don't even look REAL! They look like a picture of a picture of what someone thinks a honeybun "should" look like. I have now decided that Mrs. Freshly is an alien lifeform, sent here to make us want her fake plastic bakery goods as a form of space mind control. Or something.

I know exactly what you mean about fake food! I LOVE FAKE FOOD! It's like sometimes I want fruit. Like, you know, crunchberries. Those are fruit aren't they? Oh, I mean "froot." And I love it when even fake food becomes somehow faker.. like when you get soft serve ice cream at Dairy Queen it can IN NO WAY be considered ice cream? it's like fake cold really sweet foam that they call ice cream! But I don't eat that crap anymore. But I like to talk about it!!! :devil:

Luciole
04-15-2005, 09:39 PM
Tell me about it. I was eating whatever for the first 3 or 4 weeks after I found out. Cheesecake, donuts, you name it. But I got back on the wagon. STILL...even though I know I have to put on weight, I don't want to put on too much. Before I found out, at 2 months pregnant, I was pushing so hard to lose that I'd cut back to 1300 calories a day. I didn't realize it was so hard to lose because I was pregnant. LOL Now, even though I'm back to eating right and exercising, doing more than 45 minutes of aerobics would wear me out, so I generally stay with 30 to 45 minutes instead of my usual 60 to 90. As for the eating, I'm eating all the right foods against, but I can't EVEN get it under 2000 calories a day. A couple of times I managed to go around 1800, but I feel like I'm starving and I start getting sick. So I've stopped trying to even worry about the calories at all and eating whenever I feel I need to eat, just staying with the good stuff. I am allowing myself cheat moments though because I know once this is over I won't cheat again until I'm back down where I was.

almostheaven--

Forgive me if I'm confused, but you're preggers right now?

almostheaven
04-16-2005, 10:12 AM
almostheaven--

Forgive me if I'm confused, but you're preggers right now?

Yup. 4 months.

BTW, note my stats "140 - 10/23/04 * 139 - 1/13/05 * 138 - 1/25/05 * 137 - 1/29/05"

That's how hard I was pushing. I was pregnant around Christmas, but didn't know it and was pushing so hard to drop weight throughout January. Then I stuck at 137 until the end of February when I found out I was pregnant. Then it was just like "oh screw it" and I went on the cheesecake and donut diet for awhile. LOL

midwife
04-16-2005, 10:43 AM
<Yeah, I have considered that.. I'm not sure if drugs can be taken with breastfeeding though.. but yes!>


Both Zoloft and Wellbutrin are considered safe with breastfeeding. Zoloft is one of the best studied meds and there are stacks of articles about it's safety. Wellbutrin is less studied but the evidence out there is that it is not found in significant levels in breastmilk.

Jen

Luciole
04-16-2005, 11:20 AM
Yup. 4 months.

BTW, note my stats "140 - 10/23/04 * 139 - 1/13/05 * 138 - 1/25/05 * 137 - 1/29/05"

That's how hard I was pushing. I was pregnant around Christmas, but didn't know it and was pushing so hard to drop weight throughout January. Then I stuck at 137 until the end of February when I found out I was pregnant. Then it was just like "oh screw it" and I went on the cheesecake and donut diet for awhile. LOL

LOL! That would so suck to be trying to lose weight and not realize that you're pregnant. Oh my god!

Well, I asked because I wanted to make sure that I understood you correctly before I said.....


:balloons: :balloons: CONGRATULATIONS! :balloons: :balloons:

Best of wishes to you and your new addition hon! :D

almostheaven
04-16-2005, 08:02 PM
I'm wavering between whether I feel congratulations are in order here or whether I'm thinking WTF?! I'll be 40 next month and my daughter will be 21 two weeks after her lil bro or sis comes into the world. YIKES! LOL

Luciole
04-16-2005, 10:08 PM
I'm sorry about the semi-highjack here guys, but... :shrug:

almostheaven,

Don't sweat it!!! I'm sure it must be very difficult to evaluate the situation when it's your life and your family involved. But seriously, I grew up with two friends who were last minute additions to an 35+ mother's life, and both of them were extremely happy and well adjusted. Of course I can't really vouch for the mom :s: but she seemed to be surviving it all just fine :) My parents were in their mid-30's when I was born (and I have a half-sister who is 14 years my elder) and it never bothered me one bit!

Personally I'd rather be raised by a 40 year old than an 18 year old! And, it was great to be 5 years old and have a sister who could drive me around!

Just wanted to lend a different perspective :^:

almostheaven
04-17-2005, 09:10 AM
Maybe I can talk my daughter into driving her sibbling around then, cause the only offer she's made is "Mom, if you don't want it, I'll take it." LOL

But back to the emotional eating track....

My daughter has a lot of medical problems that keep her overweight, but with the problems come a lot of emotional rollercoasters too. She's recently begun losing after I last visited and bought her a set of the WATP tapes and had some motivational conversations with her. I assured her that it's ok to overeat at times when emotions get the best of you. It's WHAT you eat that's going to be the big deciding factor. If she overeats on cheeseburgers and fries, it will have a much harder impact than if she had overate on fruits and veggies. So when you realize you're eating out of emotion and not because you're really hungry, stuff yourself with good stuff so you won't go grabbing for the bad stuff.

Luciole
04-17-2005, 01:27 PM
My daughter has a lot of medical problems that keep her overweight, but with the problems come a lot of emotional rollercoasters too. She's recently begun losing after I last visited and bought her a set of the WATP tapes and had some motivational conversations with her. I assured her that it's ok to overeat at times when emotions get the best of you. It's WHAT you eat that's going to be the big deciding factor. If she overeats on cheeseburgers and fries, it will have a much harder impact than if she had overate on fruits and veggies. So when you realize you're eating out of emotion and not because you're really hungry, stuff yourself with good stuff so you won't go grabbing for the bad stuff.

Sounds like really good advice! Sometimes, for some of us, it's so much easier to control our bad impulses when we can drop the all-or-nothing mentality and find ways to adapt :)