I just can't do it anymore. I can't have one more conversation about how I know exactly what to do about my weight, yet I just don't do it. Not one more word about how my weight is starting to affect my health, yet I continue to eat. Not another thought about when I am going to start again "for good".
Bottom line is that I feel horrible. My legs hurt, my feet hurt. Movement is exhausting. I look terrible, clothes don't fit. I am snug in my car. I worry about losing my job and somehow having to find another one. What if I had to go into Chicago and ride the train daily? That was hard to do at 215...it would be impossible now. I have lost the real me - the weight has taken over. If there is a rock bottom, I have hit it. I look in the mirror and think "who is that?"
Monday at WW I gained 3 lbs. Guess I didn't have as good of a week as I thought I did. Yeah, I guess not!!! I have been going to WW for 12 weeks and have lost a total of 4 lbs. In 12 weeks. What a waste. WASTE - that's what I am doing with my life. I am wasting it.
Mark today down - April 13, 2005. I weigh 322.2. It's over, I'm done. I will not live another day like this. I have an extra 177 lbs that I carry around with me every day. It's no wonder I am exhausted and my legs hurt!!!! That is like carrying around 3 1/2 Jacobs and never ever getting to set them down.
Today I started my new life and every day from today on, my main goal will be to improve my health. I WILL lose this weight. I WILL become someone who is active on a daily basis. I WILL find the Sandi that once was. She's awesome; I can't wait for you to meet her. Nothing and No one will stand in my way. My health is #1. Nothing else will come before it.
04-13-2005, 10:32 AM
Sandi - I wish you the best in this! It took me that same feeling of rock bottom to get off mine and do the right thing! My highest ever weight was 324, I remember when I was 19 and getting close to 200 and vowing to myself to never get over 200... yeah, well that didn't work out!!! Well I'm on my way back down! Today I had my check-in with myself and I was down to 270, I haven't been that since I was 20 years old! I know you can do it too!
04-13-2005, 10:53 AM
Sandi, you ARE awesome, right now!!!! When I first joined 3FC, you were one of my primary inspirations. I read your beautiful letter to your son and it really resonated with me, and really made me think about how my weight and eating habits were affecting and would affect my son. After reading this letter, I decided it was time to change.
I don't know what you need, to help you find your way again, but if there's anything you need, I'm here for you.
04-13-2005, 10:53 AM
You can do it girl !!!! You've motivated me to get off my butt.
04-13-2005, 11:35 AM
Okay Sandi, I'm holding you to this promise! Yep, not letting you off the hook this time! No way! You owe it to Steve, Jacob, your family, your friends and most of all to yourself! You won't hear "That's okay, hon, you can start fresh again tomorrow" from me, because I care too much about you and it scares the sh*t out of me when I hear how much your health is being compromised.
Yes, its going to be tough - probably one of the most difficult things you'll do, but you recognize that you just cannot delay it any longer - that you HAVE to do this, and you can and WILL succeed! We're there for you baby, all the way!!
Sure it won't be easy, but it will be rewarding in so many ways and, as I've told you all along, once you get into the swing of things it DOES become a way of life and then you can revel in the glory of what you're doing, at how you're feeling and looking, which really takes the sting out of not being able to stop at Dunkin Donuts on your way to work. You'll see!
I'm feeling pretty discouraged myself right now over my vacation food foolishness (post to follow later) and need a swift kick in the butt to get going and keep going (for life). Let's kick each other's butts from here to goal and beyond! Deal?
04-13-2005, 12:16 PM
I had a day just like that in October of last year, were I was finally just fed up with the way I felt and I said okay, this is the last day that I'm living like this.
You can do this tho, lots of people here are :cheer: cheering :cheer: for you, and here to support you if you need it. Go Sandy!
04-13-2005, 12:16 PM
Your message brought tears to my eyes, because I know exactly how you feel. You tell yourself that you want to loose weight for all of the right reasons, but are powerless to make any lasting change. I was right where you are last year. Every day I would start again, every day I thought I would be cured from this problem that has impacted my entire life. I finally started therapy last July talking about my issues and found some relief.
Last Thanksgiving, I started actually doing WW (as opposed to just siting there) and now I'm down 21 pounds. My therapist also suggested a book called "Overcoming Overeating", I've started, but haven't gotten too far into it yet.
My old leader used to say, "when you're driving a car full speed ahead in one direction, you have to slow down before you can turn around to head another direction."
I started that day after Thanksgiving with "what am I am willing to do today?". Ok - I'll drink the water. Next day, I'll bring some healthy snacks to work and so on...
As much as I want my next 90 lbs gone tomorrow, I've learned a lot about myself in this process.
I hope something in this long-winded message helps you.
Good luck!! You sound like you're ready for this. I don't have to tell you, it's the most important thing that you can do for yourself and your son. :)
04-13-2005, 12:51 PM
Actually my highest weight was not 320, but 330, and I got to the point where I could barely walk a block without stopping. I lost 30 lbs going to Jenny Craig, then maintained that weight for quite a while. I had a health scare and realized I just had to get this weight off or I was setting myself up for REAL problems. Not to mention how I felt about interviewing at 300 lbs, or even just living my life.
The first week I lost 3 lbs, the next week I gained it back. I stayed on my program and kept losing. Sometimes I'd gain too. Or maintain.
Everyone who loses weight has their own reasons, their own blocks. I had to do my own soul searching as to why I was hanging on to the weight for so long. And I had to approach it from practical side in terms of changing lots of habits. (If you're having problems with compulsive overeating, I definitely recommend that Overcoming Overeating, it helped me.)
It's a lot of work and it has taken me years, my first diet was in my teens. I would say you're not at the beginning at all, you have lots of knowledge and you have lost that 4 lbs. You could easily lose that same 3 lbs in a week; since you gained it in a week I seriously doubt it was all fat.
For about the first year I was seriously doing this, and I've been doing it for 2 years in June, I would have a freak session at the scale almost every week. I really think it's important not to let the scale be a weapon I use to psych myself out, but rather a guide as to whether I'm having problems I need to address -- maybe I'm snacking too much? do I need to shake up my exercise? or add to it? It's not a static process. And being a woman with a monthly period, that's another element I have to keep in mind.
Hang in there, Sandi!!
04-13-2005, 01:25 PM
I was where you are last April Sandi. I know exactly how you feel and what your thoughts and fears are. That's whats great about this group. We may not have all the same personal things going on but the weight and fear of not losing it we all share. We all know exactly how your feeling right now. And we all have a few people on here that have succeeded in getting to goal. So we know it can be done and we can do it together. We are here for you Sandi. And you are here for us. So lets continue to do this toghether. We can do it.
04-13-2005, 02:17 PM
Sandi, I love your quote with your signature, so true......
Maybe extra motivation would come with a visit to your PCP...and (depending on your insurance) a referral to a registered dietician and nutritionist, along with blood-work-up. (kind of like a before pic.). My doc. is VERY supportive and positive (i asked for scrips. to help with weight loss). WW is a great program, but not everyone fits every diet-plan.
I once saw a show on FITTV called "ultimate goals"....in this episode, a person had been losing very slowly, (4 lbs. in 8 weeks). The nutritionist knew the person's medical history and explained how certain types who have weight problems may take as long as a year to 18 months to begin to lose at a faster rate. (I thought...thatsME!). I made a decision on Jan. 15 and I've lost between 12-14.5 lbs. 3% of bodyfat...while taking both Meridia and Xenical and changing my eating habits, foods and consistently exercising. I get soooo frustrated with all I'm doing to improve and the results are so slow! But every ounce counts......that's how it got on me and that's how it is coming off.
best of luck, you WILL SUCCEED!
04-13-2005, 03:29 PM
Wow Sandi, that sounds so much like me not all that long ago. I can so, totally relate to how you're feeling. Maybe it's just gonna take getting good and pissed off to get the job done. I'm with Jilly on this one, there's no need to sugar-coat it. Getting healthy is a neccessity, period. So what do you need from us to make that happen? I'm sure everyone here is willing to help in any way possible, I know I am. How about a daily check-in for accountability like in OA. List your food and exercise plans for the day and we'll hold you to them. Or PM me if you'd rather do something a little more privately. We are here to help, please don't hesitate to ask. Every single one of us wants to see you healthy and happy, and you deserve nothing less. So you go and find the real Sandi, and promise me that you'll learn to love her as much as I know I already do.
So, this is it, April 13, 2005. You can't take it back now, and I'm holding you to it. This is the day that you are going to change your life. You can do this, but you already know that, now it's time to get it done. We're with you sweetie, every step of the way.
04-13-2005, 03:34 PM
I too see myself in your post. I lost 110 lbs from 2000-2001 and then put 50 lbs back on. For two, almost three years I kept trying to find that thing that would click for me again. Every month, week, day it seemed like I was vowing to start over, that this time would be it, this time I was going to get it. Like you I just kept feeling more and more defeated and my weight kept creeping higher and higher. I was so damn mad that I wouldn't do this for myself.
I don't know why this changed for me again this January but I'm so grateful that it did. I just took a long look at me and thought I don't want to live another year of my life trying to lose weight. Another year of it consuming my every thought and dictating how I felt about my self. Not another year. No way! This year I'm done, this is it.
You can do this I have no doubt in my mind. It's time for us all to shake this weight once and for all. Our weight will no longer tell us how to feel or who to be. I believe in you Sandi. You've given so much encouragement to the people here.
I would wish you luck but I don't think you need it; cause your going to do this. So I wish for the world to stay the heck out of your way and let you take care of business.
04-13-2005, 04:12 PM
Similar for me....On January 14, 2005, I felt AWFUL, my HTN was up I was experiencing a "racy" HR when I walked the dog...and I saw I had gained back about 35-40 lbs. of the 60 I lost in 2000 and kept off for almost 4 years....I have a vivid imagination that I was having a cardiac episode...they would put me in the cath lab, I'd be laying on the table and my X-boyfriend (he's a cardiologist) would walk in and think "wow, did she get FAT, she looks terrible"...THAT's what did it for me. I stopped, cold turkey, called my doctor and made an appt for a physical....I stopped consuming a bottle of wine every night, eating chocolate and ice-cream, and promised myself 10 mins. of movement first thing in the morning.....I went back to the gym (still go at lunchtime when i can get away from the office). I stopped ruining my body and popping prescription pain-killers when I really didn't need them anymore. ( I'm s/p accident where I broke my elbow, dislocated my shoulder and broke my nose...consequently i laid around for 6 months and lost all muscle-tone, prior to that I developed clinical depression and have been undergoing treatment with and without meds).
the hardest thing I did was take a long look at myself inside and out. I decided i was worth saving, it was time to get off my butt and get back to the person I used to be, HAPPY!
Sandi I believe you have found your power.
04-13-2005, 04:34 PM
I understand how you're feeling! :grouphug:. I hit my high point at 316 lbs just about 2 years ago. It took another year, and a health crisis to get me headed in the right direction. I went on to lose almost 50 lbs, and I was feeling pretty good about myself :smug: . THEN the holidays came-and I've been struggling ever since :( . I've regained at least 15 lbs; my eating has been out of control, and I keep saying to myself "I'll do it tomorrow; I'll do it after such and such event" ; etc. I'm glad you've decided to take action NOW! :cp: You already are an awesome person, and you've got an excellent attitude.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life! :cheer: :cheer: :grouphug: YOU GO GIRL!
04-13-2005, 05:23 PM
You are much loved on this forum Sandi, and you most certainly ARE awesome right now, as you are! But I completely understand how you feel - maybe this is your 'lightbulb moment', the date you will look back on in years to come and think that was when my life changed forever.
We are here for you Sandi - whatever you need!
Love Amanda x
04-13-2005, 05:57 PM
Sandi, I think you are a wonderful person and I know that someday you're going to be the person you want to be. I know you are super busy person, with work and your family and I've noticed you don't post as much as you used to post. I don't know if that is a result of being too busy at work or being upset that you aren't losing weight. All I know is that when I am here often and posting then I lose weight and I suspect it is the same for you. I see a lot of posts from you that are just a couple of lines and I've had no sense of how you've been doing. I guess it hasn't been going too good and you haven't wanted to talk about it. Well that is what this forum is for, not just for posting when things are going good. If you are like me you get tired of coming here and feeling like a fraud because you aren't losing weight yet try to be supportive of others. I try not to let that bother me. The 2 of us have been here for over 5 years and maybe it hasn't helped us lose weight, maybe now is the time that we are finally at the right point and we are going to start losing weight. I'm with you Sandi! I saw a bootcamp program at the gym that is starting on Friday and I was kind of so-so about joining it but now I"m gonna do it. It's time that we took charge! You need to post Sandi and often. Tell us how you are doing, what you are eating, what you are doing for exercise and we'll be here to cheer you on and give you kicks in the butt when you need it. Okay? Is that a deal?!?
04-14-2005, 04:20 AM
I am really moved by the honesty of your post, and the courage it must have taken to write it. You have so much knowledge and understanding of how to do it, and what it might take, and you give all of that away to support the rest of it - so maybe now you will be able to find the time and space to nurture and support yourself?
I am just picking up speed on this journey, after a minor deviation down a wrong turning......some tough love from my partner made me face the fact that if I carried on the way I was going, I was headed for diabetes, high blood pressure etc etc, and that I was doing this to myself. Sometimes, like Jill and Beverly are saying, the tough love is more use to us than the sugar-coated support! If it helps anyway, since being back on track, I have gained some much needed self-respect back, and realised that whatever other stressful stuff in my life I can't control, I can choose what I put in my mouth and my body, and I can choose to exercise.
You know, you really can do this. And there are a huge number of people here ready to cheer you on, all the way!
04-14-2005, 10:41 AM
Oh, Sandi, I think nearly all of us can really sympathize with the pain and frustration of that post -- it brought tears to my eyes because I REMEMBER.
Everyone has already given you such good advice, and frankly I'm not that great at giving it. But I will say this: we all care about you very much and will do anything it takes to help you out. I'm with Beverly, if you ever want to check in, please let me know. The only thing I would suggest is that you make a detailed *plan* very soon and make us hold you accountable to it. I wasted a lot of years fretting, longing, and hating myself, and somehow thinking those three things would make me lose weight. Now I only regret all those years I wasted. I'm a little bit shocked and embarrassed that it's much less complicated (emotionally draining, yes, but complicated? nah) than I thought all that time... the key is just doing it.
We are here for you!!!!!!!!
04-14-2005, 10:58 AM
Sandibaby, you know I loves ya. I AM going to wish you luck, b/c I know how hard it is to get on the right track. How easy it is once you've backslid to just keep sliding. :grouphug: But I also know how necessary it is that we both think about our health & commit to fighting the good fight. :) I think your positivity will help you immensely. You just have to put Sandi first every once in awhile!!! If you would like to try being diet buddies again, I say we make a pact to seek the other out when she disappears. *another hug* We can do this! :cheers:
04-14-2005, 01:41 PM
You were one of the first people to reach out to me on this forum. I have seen you offer guidance and support time and time again. I do know how you feel. I'm sorry that you have had such a rough time. Just don't beat yourself up. Give yourself time and slack, I believe half this journey isn't about our weight, it's about how to feed our souls without food. Try to do something that makes you feel good.
Hang in there;)
04-14-2005, 02:43 PM
Wow! You guys are amazing. Your support is beyond compare!! I can't even believe how awesome you guys all are!!! :D
I appreciate the tough love. Bring it on baby!!! Maybe that's what I need right now too. (Gently, please).
I copied my post and sent it to my husband, my brother, my mom and my best friend. I needed the other people in my life to know that I was done. Their support was pretty amazing too.
It was nice to see so many of you say "yep, been there, that's what did it for me". Makes me think that there is hope, even for me. I dream about being thin so much, as if it will happen all on it's own.
Yesterday was a good day. I ate just my points and lots of water. My plan is to stick to Weight Watchers Points 100% - allow myself to use flex points but not activity points. Diet Pop when I need a treat and movement daily. Right now I don't even care what I eat, just as long as I am within my points. I know eventually I will need to eat healthier, but right now I am going with the thought that I need to get with the program and limit my consumption. I know the switch to healthier choices will follow. Howie, I saw that happen for you.
I am also going to commit to putting what I eat on the "public" journal thread that Jill created for one month. Why one month? Because I usually get going for a week or two and then start to stray.
I will continue to weigh in at WW weekly, but will look at my progress more on a monthly basis. I think it's great to weigh in once a week, but your true progress shows more over a period of time. Maybe if I look at it that way, I won;t get discouraged when the scale doesn't equal my efforts.
Darlene mentioned my Letter to Jacob. You may notice that I don't have a link to it anymore. I took it off earlier this year. In June it will have been 2 years since I wrote that and my progress was nill. It was now a shameful thing instead of motivating and inspiring (for me). When I get some of this weight off and I feel like I am finally being true to myself, I will put the link back up.
For all of you who said that my post has motivated you to get back on track, nothing could make me happier. As much as I want success for myself, I also want it for all of you.
To those of you who want to be buddies in this whole thing. I welcome all of you. I think the more PM's and E-mails one can get the better. Even if It's just a "How is today?"
Thanks so much!
04-14-2005, 03:00 PM
Good for you on doing the journal Sandi. I always hated doing a journal but after the first month I got used to it and now I count on it. It really helps me to be able to look back at a week or month and see how I'm doing. I am 100% honest even though I don't always want to be. That really helps too. I can look back at a week and see that is why I gained or lost.
04-14-2005, 03:07 PM
I've come late to this thread, but I, too, am impressed by your candor. I can only echo what other people have said, and let you know that I will be here when you falter or when you want to take that first bite.
I'm a firm believe in Dr. Phil's clean environment philosophy. So do you have a clean environment? Have you gotten rid of all the junk that tempts you? Do you know what it is that stops you from getting what you want? Let us know because between all of us, we can give you help and support whenever you need it.
04-14-2005, 03:13 PM
since I have been back at 3fc I have seen you go through the same struggles as me. I could tell when you were doing well when the ticker was in your siggy and when you weren't it was gone. I know that you like WW and what it can do but have you thought of shopping around for something new to try? Stick with WW but try to find something else that might work better. I've used WW in the past and it did work for me. When I stopped putting myself first, it stopped working. When I started this last time to lose weight I went back to my trusty WW. It did work for a couple of months but I just didn't much care for it anymore. That's when I switched to counting calories. I'm about to switch again and give Body for Life a try.
We are here for you Sandi through it all.
04-14-2005, 03:54 PM
Way to go Sandi for sticking to your plan yesterday and drinking lots of water. I saw too that your letter was gone. I know how that feels because I've made the same promises to myself with regards to my own son. I didn't want to be the 'fat' mommy or set bad examples and here I am in his formative years and I'm no better now than I was when he was born. I'm trying hard to limit treats for him (and me!), to cut back on his tv time (at one point I think he was probably watching about 5-6 hours a day, now he is at about 2 hours so we are slowly improving) and to get him to be more active and playing outside.
Anyway I'm really glad to see you posting what is going on and what you are doing, I'm certain that it will help immensely. Great idea too letting your family know how you are feeling and what you want to accomplish. They will be a wonderful support system. Take care and we want to see lots of posts!!!
04-14-2005, 11:02 PM
I don't really know how to respond to posts sometimes, but I really can relate to what you're saying. And I want to reiterate that we're here for you whether or not you're losing weight, and I hope that you don't feel ashamed at slip ups, etc. We're not here to judge, we're here to support you! You're a good person and you deserve this for yourself. :grouphug:
05-16-2005, 03:27 PM
Sandi, I know you're struggling right now, and I'm bumping this thread so you can read all these wonderful folks' comments again. You can do this! (((hugs)))
05-16-2005, 04:49 PM
Wow.....that sounded like I was reading one of my own letters in my personal journal. Thank you for the kick in the pants.
I am always going to start tomorrow, I will do it tomorrow, I will start this diet, I will exercise....well here I am still way overweight and unhappy and most of all unhealthy.
My scare lately has been alot of chest pains which have me scared to death, I am going to see the DR tonight. I have had 2 friend pass away recently both in their 40's and I am 39.....wow it is just terrifying me.
I am very fortunate I have a DH who supports me to the end and will cook me my meals , go for walks with me even though he walks all day at work and I sit behind a desk. He wants me to use him as a personal chief and trainner and I think....NO I am going to take him up on that tonight. He is very concerned about my health as both my parents and most of my siblings have heart disease. I won't leave him and the kids without a mommy and wife cause I am too selfish to stay away from McDonalds and parking my a** on the couch when I get home.
Just wait and see, I will be showing weight loss on my signature from now on. Now I am realistic it won't be leaps and bounds, I have hypo thyroid to deal with but that is not why I am fat. I will lose weight, I will get healthier and I will make exercise an important part of my life.
Sorry for jumping in on your thread but wow, just reading all your stories have made me realise it isn't just me but only me who can do something about it.
Thank you all.!!!!
05-16-2005, 05:37 PM
I am new to 3fatchicks. This is my first post. Sandy, I know only too well how you felt. I started Jenny Craig on January 4, 2004, weighing 283 pounds. I had been watching Dr. Phil with the first Weight Loss Challenge, and I saw them lose 20, then 30, then 40 pounds while I just (if I was lucky) stayed the same (or gained). I made up my mind when I got some unexpected money that I was going to put it toward ME for a change. :spin:
Well, I knew I couldn't do it Dr. Phil's way - I needed accountability. I also knew I needed portion control, and I definitely knew I needed to MOVE :ebike: Jenny Craig worked for me. I now weigh 166 on my way to 150.
Not everyone responds to things the same way, so JC may not be right for you. We have to understand what made us fat and what keeps us fat. For me, it was EXCESS :hun: :cheers: . I wasn't an emotional eater as an opportunity eater! I had to learn to curb the triggers (celebrations, milestones, Friday, being alive - you name it!) and deal with things in non-food ways.
What I am saying basically is that only you can decide what will be the best route for you. And only you can decide when you are ready.
I wish you all the luck in the world. I will be lurking and posting. I recently hit a plateau and thought about stopping. I reasoned that I had lost enough weight and I could just not get by this one point. I shook things up in my exercise, and I've started losing again. Keep at it - we're here for you! LOVE, JILL :goodvibes
05-17-2005, 11:28 PM
My eyes are welling up... I am the same way. I am always saying how I need to do this for my kids and how I can't go on like this and how I want to be "hot" again some day. I am WITH YOU.. You and I are gonna do this girlfriend. I am 258. I HAVE TO lose about 125 (holy poop).
I have 3 amazing kids to live for and what example am I setting for them? Am I telling them life isn't worth living? Am I saying that only living till 54 (when my father died from not caring for his diabtes) is acceptable.
THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE AND I WONT HAVE IT ANYMORE..NOT ONE MORE DAY!!
SANDI, THANK U FOR SAVING MY LIFE. YOU HAVE AT THIS MOMENT CHANGED IT FOR ME AND I LOVE YOUR QUOTE AT THE BOTTOM.
05-21-2005, 02:50 AM
Sandi, you GO GIRL!!! You've lost 10 pounds since you wrote this, that is awesome! You're going to be in Twoterville very soon!
05-22-2005, 07:15 PM
Gardenwife - thanks for bringing this back up - it really helped me get back on track!!!
Thanks Jennifer! Your right, I have lost about 10 lbs - and I have been completely on plan except for about 4 days a week ago that I lost my way. But with everyone's wonderful support I managed to climb back out of my whole and get back on plan.
Jill - First I want to welcome you and congartulate you on your awesome weight loss!!! I think I have found that WW does work for me if I stick to the plan. It sound so simple and really it is. Just count the point, write them down and stop when you are done. But it takes planning and being honest with yourself, which I think is something that I wasn't being.
Hockeychic - I'm glad that you can realte. Sometimes it just takes knowing that you are not alone. It's been about 6 days since you wrote - how is it going??
nhmommy - I know we PM'd earlier in the week - so how's it going????
Thank you guys for all your support. You'll never kow how much everyone on this board means to me. I find inspiration in so much of what you guys have to say. thank you for being here - you guys are awesome!!! :grouphug:
06-11-2005, 01:35 AM
06-11-2005, 10:13 AM
I was a frequent poster on this site about a year and a half ago...there was a server crash or something and I lost my post count, userid and then my drive to continue the battle of watching what I ate, exercising, drowning in water. I would continue to lurk and stop in the 100+ thread. I always made a point of reading what you wrote because I related to you. Having seen your picture when you had it as your avatar...we could be sisters.
All this was leading up to my wanting to say: "Thank you!". The day you posted this thread...it touched my heart. I wiped away the tear from my eye and immediatley ordered the WW kit. I was scared to start because I was scared to fail...again. June 1st I told myself to just take it one day at a time. I came here, made a resolution to post at least once a day and I signed up for the Point Challenge you organize and it's amazing how accountable that game makes you feel. And that's how I plan to continue...one meal, one day at a time. It's how all of those here who have succeeded did it....not looking too far ahead but the here and now. So, because you helped me....
Get yourself a glass of water...and then another. Take a bottle of water with you when you take Jacob for a walk. Re-read this thread from start to finish...and feel the love and support. Eat three sensible meals today and at the end of the day...come post 4 points. You'll go to sleep with a smile on your face and a feeling of hope.
Tomorrow we will do it again...all of us...together! :grouphug:
06-12-2005, 12:10 AM
What a lovely post, Barbara Ann - I sure hope Sandi sees it! Yes, Sandi is a lovely peson, both inside and out. Isn't that a really nice picture in her profile? (and I'm not just saying that because I actually took the picture) ;) The thing is, as lovely as she is, I'm not so sure she's that healthy on the inside and I know she's frustrated about a few things on her "outside", so I really, really, really hope she comes back here soon, raring to go.
In fact, a few of us have been talking :gossip: and if she doesn't come back on her own we might have to perform an "intervention" ... after all, I know where she lives :s: , but we'd much prefer that she finds it within herself to get back on track. What's that you always say, Sandi? Never give up? Live your words! PLEASE!! :D
06-12-2005, 02:14 AM
:yes: Please, Sandi.
06-12-2005, 08:24 AM
Do please come back to us Sandi.......we need you :D :D ! Also, well, just think about it, can you imagine what kind of an intervention that scary Board-***** Jill is capable of dreaming up :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: ? It really ain't worth incurring that kind of wrath...... :lol: :lol:
06-12-2005, 08:58 AM
Good Morning All!
What to say...what to say. It's true, I have been walking on the dark side since Memorial Day. Not sure what triggered the change. I was doing so well, down 17 lbs, even getting up at 4:30 am to workout and not using my flex points! I fooled myself into believing that I would get right back on plan on Tuesday after the Holiday, after all there was no weigh-in on Monday! And I didn't. I just snuggled back up with all my bad habits and hid out.
A few of you have been trying to nudge me back to the healthy ways that are so important, but I just kept eating.
It's 6:30 am here and the house is still asleep. I came down to jump on to find these lovely posts and a few PM's telling me to get my butt over here and read!!!
First (((HUGS ))) to SAPF for loving me enough to bump this thread. I needed to reread it and remember why this is so important and feel the support of this board. I loves ya right back!!
BarbaraAnn - Thank you for your lovely post. It surprises me that I would be able to inspire anyone at all giving that I am always on this teeter totter of weight loss. But look at you go!!! That is awesome!! Thanks for making me think about it again and quit hiding.
Jilly - my dear friend Jilly. Can you imagine where I'd be without ya?? She keeps tabs on me when I hide out and leaves me little breadcrumbs trying to lead me back here where she knows I belong. She has been kind to me, somehow sensing that the tough love would not bring me back. Thanks Jill - I love you too!!
Apryl - I've seen the posts here and there encouraging me to come back. They haven't gone unnoticed. Thanks sweetie!!! You are wise far beyond your years!
Artist - I shudder at the thought of that intervention! :eek: :fr: :sp: :yikes: Not even Food is worth that.
When I started this post, I was going to give you a "Tomorrow, I promise!". But then I realized that today is fresh and I have a chance to get it right today, right now. So because of every one of you here on this board - today I will get back on plan.
I could never do this without you guys!! You have no idea how much your love and support means to me.
Back to business. And to show you how serious I am, I am going to run upstairs right now and throw away my pint of Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby that is in the freezer that still has 3/4 left. :yes: I did it!! Even took the lid off!!!
P.S. - You Americans and your strange foods... "Chubby Hubby" ice cream? I don't even think I want to know the ingredients :fr:
P.P.S. - "Scary Board-*****", heh? Claire, I'll remind you that all my scary relatives are still in the U.K., so you'd better not ever slip into the dark side, my dear :dz:
06-12-2005, 12:15 PM
Yay, Sandi!! I'm so proud for you. :grouphug: Welcome back!
06-12-2005, 01:27 PM
Good for you Sandi. Something we all need to learn is that we can get back on plan anytime we want. Even if we had two huge meals for breakfast and lunch. Dinner can always be a new start. I was always stuck on the Monday start and still struggle with getting back on track the next meal after a bad meal. It's just silly mind games. We would do much better just starting right away then saying I'll start tomorrow. So good for you for doing it today. And way to go on tossing the ice cream.
06-12-2005, 02:20 PM
Jill! You don't know what Chubby Hubby is... wow.
Yay Sandy! I'm so proud of you chica.
06-12-2005, 02:21 PM
So absolutely glad you're back!!
You know, I was on another forum where a poster said that she was debating joining Weight Watchers for the millionth time, as if that was a bad thing. I told her that I joined Weight Watcher one million and one times and it was that one time that really took. Everyone has setbacks. We're here for you!
06-12-2005, 02:26 PM
Well done for not putting it off, Sandi. You're right, every day is a new day and the future starts now.
You know, you've given some fantastic advice and support to other people here because you care about them. Well, your friends here aren't about to let you forget that you deserve to be cared for too. :goodvibes:
06-12-2005, 06:40 PM
Soooooooooo glad that you're back, Sandi. :D :D :D And good job on throwing away the Chubby Hubby........whoever he is! :lol: :lol: :lol:
And thanks for the warning Jill, about your board-***** relatives here in the UK... :devil: :devil: :devil: ...that is a scary enough thought to keep me on the straight and narrow..... :o :o :o
06-12-2005, 11:40 PM
:cp: :cp: :cp: Aw, Sandi, I'm sooooo happy you're back!! I'm very, very proud of you. As you know, I post here very little these days, but I have followed your progress with so much excitement (Seriously! Excitement! :hyper: ) and I'm really thrilled that you've learned that you can regain control and own your next action. What a thing to learn about yourself! Now you're all about TODAY, baby!! ;)
We love you, Sandi, and we're all really, really proud of you. :grouphug:
06-12-2005, 11:46 PM
Jill! You don't know what Chubby Hubby is... wow.
Honest, Jessica, I don't! :dunno: It sounds rather cannibalistic though... :eek:
06-13-2005, 12:41 AM
Sandi! Great to see you back again. (((hugs)))
06-13-2005, 01:52 AM
OMG, Sandi, CHUBBY HUBBY???? YOU THREW OUT CHUBBY HUBBY FOR US????!!?!?!?!?! :faint:
We are so not worthy.
BUT YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!!!! :D :D :D
06-13-2005, 12:48 PM
Glad to see you are back Sandi. Kudos for throwing out the ice cream. I too know not Chubby Hubby. I just can't afford Ben and Jerry so I don't even bother looking at them as I pass by the ice cream.
06-13-2005, 04:01 PM
So.... how's it going, Sandi?
06-13-2005, 04:22 PM
I need help, folks. I know that we can not loose weight until WE are individually ready. However, I am very worried about a young family member that is fully double the weight she would be healthy at and diabetic (not under medical care at all) living almost exclusively on fast food and not getting any movement. How can I encourage her to care for herself ? She isn't the only one that will be hurt by her lack of responsibility for her health. Any ideas that would help without just hurting her?
06-13-2005, 05:20 PM
Sea, I don't know... I remember when I was a freshman in high school, close to 200 pounds and my religion teacher asked me in front of everyone "are you getting outside? running around and getting exercise?" she didn't come out and say "hey you're fat and need exercise" but I was embarassed just the same. anyway its sort of a dumb example but the point is, if anyone tried to tell me that i needed to do something about my weight, as nicely as it was, just made me angry and sad and didn't make me want to do anything about it. doing something about it came later, on my own.
i don't know if there is anything you can do or say to get her to change her ways. i guess just set a good example and maybe she will follow.
06-13-2005, 05:33 PM
Sea when i started losing it was in an attempt to help my mom get her diabetis under control. She needed someone to walk with and so I walked with her to keep her going. How about asking her to be your walking buddy?
06-13-2005, 05:44 PM
encourage her to go on walks with you, invite her over to dinner and cook healthy. Talk about your success and how much you really like that you've changed your life style and are so much happier because you are healthier. stuff like that.
Like you said you really can't help her until she is ready to be helped.
06-13-2005, 06:38 PM
I think there are 2 ways to approach this issue.
You can, of course, be kind and gentle to her just as Barbygirl just said….show her that healthy food can be tasty and easy to make. Taking walks with her can also be helpful. I know this can work for a lot of people.
On the other hand, for some people it takes more than this. In my case, I had to fall very low before I manage to do something about my weight….It was 335, xxl sizes were starting to get tight, love life was at zero, blood tests results were out of spec and I was literally stuffing myself with fast food. My doctor really shook my up when he told me that if I continue like this I was going to end up in a wheelchair by age 40….. Then and only then I realized that I was hurting myself real bad….and decided to do something about my weight…
Whatever approach you choose, be careful not to make her feel guilty about her weight or lifestyle. This may just take her lower than she is. Show her that you are concerned about her lifestyle, but you’ll respect whatever she chooses to do.
I know this may sound incompatible with the “tough” approach, but with it is achievable with lots of diplomacy.
06-13-2005, 10:22 PM
Sea, I wish I had the perfect words for you, but having been the focus of several well-intentioned "we just want you to be happy and healthy" weight discussions with my family, I'm not sure that anything you say will change her. She needs to find a personal benefit in the change within and make it herself. I like Dawyal's suggestion to just include her in activities you are doing for yourself, but without explicitly mentioning why she is being included.
In my experience, while I could rationalize that these people loved me, I hated myself even more for being deserving of such intense concern. That said, everyone is different, so you should certainly take my personal baggage with a grain of salt!
06-14-2005, 08:59 AM
Way to go Sandi!!!
Now start posting back on the Journal Buddy Thread so that you can keep track of what you're eating, no matter what. It really helps us keep on track.
06-14-2005, 10:15 AM
I'm another one that has no idea what flavour of ice cream Chubby Hubby might be but if it is B&J's then I'm sure it is wonderful and so full of fat it is making my arteries fill up with plaque just at the thought.
Great job Sandi!
06-14-2005, 10:42 AM
I am here to post an update. I am afriad that the past 2 days have yielded more stress than I am used too and I have not handled it well. I am making better choices, but am not where I need to be. I did weigh in last night and faced the weight that I have gained. That is step 1. Hopefully alot of the stress will be relieved after tonight!!!!
Sea - Boy, that is tough. I'm not sure that words are not going to be enough. If you really want to help, you need to get involved. I don't recall what your program is, but could you join WW together? Join a gym together? You could talk to her, but only action is going to get the job done.
I craved that ice cream all day. When my husband woke up he said "You had ice cream for breakfast!" (he saw the lid in the garbage) FOOD PORN AHEAD - so for all of you who are missing out. Here is a description...Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby Ice Cream - Fudge-Covered Peanut Butter-Filled Pretzels in Vanilla Malt Ice Cream Rippled with Fudge & Peanut Butter
06-14-2005, 12:00 PM
I'm going to "the States" in August and here is my vow ... I WILL NOT consume any Chubby Hubby ice cream, but WILL purchase several boxes of American Kashi Go Lean Cereal (50 calories per cup lower than Canuck!!)
Hope the stress is over now Sandi and you can get back into the groove!
06-14-2005, 12:44 PM
I have been away coughing up a lung (yuk - Influenza A, never had it before and never want it again but a he** of a weight loss strategy) but was glad to see you have come home Sandi. You are a very dear person and you need to be as kind to yourself as you are to the rest of us. So, you slipped. It is okay, you are back at it and that is all that matters. One day at a time, one meal at a time or one minute at a time. Forgive yourself and move on with being good to you - you are worth it!
With my fellow Canadians, I also don't know what Chubby Hubby is - thank God. I could feel my arteries plug at the brief definition. I am also heading to "the States" in a few weeks - my excitement is centred around pop (okay soda for you folks!) sweetened with Splenda, Kashi Go Lean (Jill, maybe we could get a case lot?) and steering well clear of the ice cream aisle!
Sandi - I hope this finds you well - emotionally, physically and spiritually. Hugs to you and much love - it is nice to see you back! "Together we can do what we can not do alone".
06-14-2005, 01:09 PM
Whew...glad you came back with an explanation Jenaya...I was getting ready to go into b*tch mode and harrass you via private message for being MIA. :^: Hope you're truly on the mend (and keep that Influenza A in your own province!) :s:
P.S. - I hope Americans don't blame us when the price of Go Lean doubles after our visits (supply and demand theory, you know) ;)
06-14-2005, 01:29 PM
Sandi, I literally started salivating when I read that ice cream description! Still in the long run, not worth it.
06-14-2005, 01:48 PM
No, not when it's 330 calories and 21 Grams of fat for 1/2 cup!!!!!
06-14-2005, 10:32 PM
Jenaya, I tried the Diet Coke with Splenda and I thought it was really icky. What a disappointment! It didn't taste like DC at all. But then again, as a connoisseur who consumes mass quantities of the stuff, I'm not a fan of any of the variations (lemon, lime, cherry, vanilla, etc.). People who are allergic to Aspartame may enjoy having an alternative, though....
And Sandi, who among us can stop at 1/2 a cup! Those pint-sized devils are engineered for downing in one sitting. :tape: :censored:
06-15-2005, 01:36 AM
Hey everyone. I'm new to this thread and I can definitely empathize with some of the people in this thread. It really does just take that one day when you're like STOP. You can not keep doing this, keep living like this, keep LOOKING like this. Just STOP. And while I still have a long way to go, I do think I am proof that you can make it work. Through a year-and-a-half of hard work and ups and downs I'm down nearly hundred pounds and it's so gradual that I can't even really see the changes in the mirror, but when I saw a picture from about 2 years ago I was literally almost sick. I used to look like that? Thank goodness I decided to change. Wishing all of you guys all the best.
06-15-2005, 04:07 AM
Congrats on your success......you are doing brilliantly! Do come and hang out with us here, and share your story!
06-15-2005, 12:51 PM
Yes good job Rtael. The pictures are the best because you don't really feel different sometimes. But man when you look at the pictures there is no hiding it. I've taken pictures every 10% I lose and kept my old size 66 pants. It's real motivation when I'm feeling down.
06-16-2005, 01:10 PM
I'd just like to encourage others as to the "clean environment" issue. It has made it sooo much easier through the last 3 months. The last time I ate some chocolate, which is my worst trigger, I got positively giddy. My eyebrows felt like they were taped to the crown of my head. It was great! For about 2 hours. For the next 4 days I was craving sweets miserably and I couldn't stop the hunger. I almost gave up completely several times over those days. I've learned it just wasn't worth it. Even my dh could clearly tell the difference, comparing it to a cocaine addiction. I'm clean again from the caffeine and chocolate, and the hunger is now something I can control. Be kind to yourselves, and don't make it harder than it has to be. We don't leave our kids next to a mud puddle when we're expecting them to stay clean; why do we do that to ourselves?
06-16-2005, 01:15 PM
Regarding the young family member, she is hundreds of miles away. I only see her a couple of times a year. However, I hear she did go out walking in the park with her dh yesterday, despite the heat! Yeah! Every journey begins with the first step.
06-16-2005, 01:16 PM
Good advice sea. I know I was doing really well not eating cheeseburgers and fries these past couple months and then I decided to have one on the way home last week. That started the cravings again. I to am clean again but it sure is hard when the cravings are so strong. They are gone now but they were strong last week.
06-16-2005, 07:26 PM
(I know this is about 5 pages late)
You probably don't remember me well. I came here for quite some time off and on over the last 2.5 years. I didn't post too much - but I did here and there. (My old screen name was 'kariberry')
I just wanted to say that YOU are a great inspiration to me!
I can remember the very first time that you posted 'Jacob, I promise you' and I can remember reading it, and wanting to cry!
You obviously love your family very much, and I just wanted to say that I believe in you, and I believe that you WILL reach your goal!
If you weren't serious about losing the weight - you wouldn't be here. But you are! You are here for a reason, and I believe that you will overcome this battle, and keep your promise to Jacob!
From reading your posts, I can tell that you are a wonderful person - who wants to succeed...and believe me...you will! :grouphug:
I wish you nothing but happiness on your journey - and you know that we are all here for you any time you need the support!
Take care - you are on your way to a healthier, happier you! :)
06-17-2005, 01:12 PM
Sandi..How are you doing? I could pass this little cough bug down to you if you would like but it is a horrible way to get a bit of weight off. Jilly Bear, you are a dear sweet soul! Thank you for looking after us and noting when we are MIA. I know you talk tough but I don't think you have a B**** bone in that little body of yours - but I will pretend to tremble. Yes, we must apologize for the rising price of Kashi.
As for the Splenda in pop..hmmm, I am sad to hear that it is not all that it is cracked up to be. I have trouble with aspartame and typically drink water with an odd Fresca here and there. Perhaps that is better for my health in the long run and I should be grateful it tastes yukky...
Jill, as for keeping my bugs in my own province - one would think that it would just blow right on through this place and end up with you on the other end of the spectrum (trees, rocks, water) - but NO...it likes it here - almost everyone I work with has this flu (can you tell we work in health care?). Scares me really - so eat well and stay strong. I got into this trouble by having a little sugar fest (tut tut I know). I swear sugar is my enemy. It does decrease immunity and it also feeds those cancer cells at twice the rate so if we needed any further prompting on being kind to ourselves there it is. Go easy on refined foods and head to the whole foods. You body will love love love you for it.
Sandi, still thinking about you and hope you are doing well.
06-17-2005, 01:47 PM
Hi, Starting Over (aka 'kariberry')! Glad you're back and raring to go again. A very wise person here (I believe it was Sheila53) noted that it doesn't matter how many times you start over, its only the time it all "clicks" that counts! The name kariberry sounds very familiar to me - do you have two little weiner dogs by chance?
Well, Sandi...are you ready to get back to business for the weekend? Enquiring minds want to know!
Jenaya, call me "Jilly Bear" again and you'll see how many b**** bones I have in my body! :s: ;)
06-17-2005, 02:12 PM
Ooooohhh, okay, trembling now. You easterners are very tempermental - please forgive me, I am on Tylenol 3 and the codeine allowed me to forget my manners. Ahem, Jill it is! It's okay - Jenaya Banaya doesn't work for me either! Must find another term of endearment for you - perhaps, mmm, well - Jill - that should suffice! (sorry, I still don't believe you have any B**** bones, but you don't have to prove me wrong, its okay, I will take you at your word, go easy, relax)...lol... Hope you are having a wonderful day!
06-17-2005, 02:29 PM
Hi Jillegal - I agree...once everything 'clicks' - that's the only thing that matters. I really think something clicked this time around - and I am in it for the long haul now! :D
Also - I'm glad that you remembered me :) I do have two weiner dogs. :)
It's great to be back here at 3FC. I was avoiding it for a while because I was afraid of 'starting over' - but not anymore!
- Kari :wave:
P.S. - Your weightloss is amazing!
06-17-2005, 06:39 PM
Well, I don't want you to think I'm overreacting or being totally anal about the nickname thing, Jenaya, its just that I'm scarred from my childhood. You see, I've always been called "Jilly" in my family (in fact my friends also call me that, so you may ;)) and when I was a young child I was fixated on green peas! Yes, I'd eat them straight out of the can or even the freezer. When it came to fresh peas, I loved to push them out of the pods with my thumb and munch on them happily. Hence I became known in the family as "Jilly Pea". I could live with that…that is until my sister Jennifer came along. Naturally she became "Jenny" and because she had an early obsession with all things Winnie the Pooh, became known as "Jenny Pooh". Can you imagine the embarrassment I suffered when my sister and I would be playing outside and my mum would stand on the step yelling: "Jilly Pea, Jenny Pooh – time to come in!!" :eek: I mean really, there are still people in the old neighbourhood who recall the woman who referred to her daughters as bodily functions. As if that wasn't bad enough, my brother's name is Jack! :rolleyes:
Kari, it was seeing pics of your pups that spurred me on to get mine! No, she's not a weiner dog, she's a Jack Russell Terror (err, Terrier). There's a pic in my profile of the little :angel:
06-17-2005, 11:01 PM
Well I had a bad day today and had a whole frozen pizza (2200 calories) a bowl of cereal, a bowl of applesauce, and four cookies. :o
And I didn't get to exercise much cause I went out to play tennis but it started raining 20 minutes into it! :mad:
06-18-2005, 01:20 AM
Jill, from this board I see your most endearing qualities as being open, honest and calling things as you see them. I enjoy your humour and would never think you anal or over reactive. I think you are a neat person with a delightful personality so - keep it coming!
Any news from Sandi? Oh Sandi - are you out there? I know you are in a very busy time of life right now. Hope this finds you well and enjoying many "baseball game trip planning sessions" with those boys in your life.