Support Groups - Back to Basics April Edition - We're No Fools!

04-01-2005, 09:29 AM
We are a bunch of strong, intelligent, powerful women. We know what we want. We are committed to making healthier choices for ourselves. All friends old and new are welcome to join on this journey to better selves.

My goals for April are: 1)to recommit to my average two pounds lost per week. 2)To get to the gym at least 5 times per week (should be daily), and to incoporate either classes or weights back into my routine (will work on the other one in May). 3) To think about what I am putting into my body. I know there will be some times when I do choose to eat foods that aren't the healthiest, but I want to at least be stopping the mindless eating.

Here's to us, ladies. Despite all the challenges each of us face, if we commit to our best selves, we CAN do this!

Have a great day.

04-01-2005, 05:09 PM
Thanks jolly, for starting up the new thread. I like the title, "we're no fools!"
Yes, it's about time I stopped acting like one, a total fool, a friggin' idiot! I have more than enough knowledge, I have the means, it may be hard finding the time but it's really more about really, really wanting it and not letting the screwballs of life leave me battin' the air.
I like the way you've restated your goals for April, something I never do, even though I think I know them.
Well, for now, it's going to be mainly to start putting exercise back into my life, exercise I can do at home, at work, all during the day, not just so I'm sitting there like an inert mass that occasionally moves toward the gym, goes through a bit of motion, then returns to inertness!
I'm also going to keep a food and exercise journal. I bought a new notebook yesterday with little blocks on the pages, not graph paper but squares with room to write in each one. I'm going to write in them chronologically, so I know just what I was stuffing in my face when and when I was moving my body. The save, especially, the small triumphs, these I will make note of. The slothful periods, the period of glutton I will TAKE note of and try to eradicate them from my life! Onward, march! The season of the cherry blossoms is upon us!

04-02-2005, 12:58 AM
Good idea with the journal, Red. I am always looking for the perfect journaling method.

I am still self medicating with the food (oh yeah, and a couple of mixed drinks REALLY helped Justin's recuperation). I need to stop that. I know it doesn't help anything. I am, however, proud of myself for getting to the gym even today. I was going crazy cleaning things in prep for him to come home. But I still ran to the gym before picking him up. Hurray. I have, however, ignored the horse the last two days. Bad mommy, but there is only so much I can do. HE will probably appreciate having less of a lard *** to carry around. I will go tomorrow.

Hope to hear from others soon. Take care, and have a wonderful day. Good luck wth your goals, Red. You can do it :cb:

04-02-2005, 04:43 PM
OK. No fool, but lonely. Where is everyone??

I am still stress eating like crazy. But, I did go ride my pony today (a very nice ride), and did go work out today. Two positive things. I am staying pretty much on track with my to do lists. Another good thing. Justin is sooooo active, I am getting gray hairs. Good that he is feeling well, not so good that I wish he would just rest until the stitches come out. :fr: Getting by though.

I can't wait to hear from everyone else. I hope things are moving along for you too.

Take it easy, all.

04-03-2005, 03:06 AM
Thanks for starting the new thread Jolly. I too like your choice of a title. Tho sometimes I too feel like I am the village idiot with my skewered thinking.

It's spring, rebirth, time for renewal. My goals for April are to get back in water mode again - at least a liter and 1/2 each day. Start out with regular exercise 3 times a week and work up to 5 days a week by month's end. Then I have to work on this food thing...

Red, the cherry blossoms and many other things are in bloom here. It's lovely...

04-03-2005, 04:21 AM
Hi jolly, sorry to not have been posting, though I must say it is very quiet around here. Derry, Chachee, where are you? Rave, when you can please come back. Happy! glad to see you too.

jolly -- glad to hear you were able to get a ride in. I did today too. Moreson, I'm glad Justin is back and seems to be doing well. I couldn't remember who Justin was (sorry!!) and I was thinking, husband? son? boyfriend? then I remember DOG! At least, I think I got that right, right? I really have nothing much to say. I am dead tired. Want to sleep. Have to work. May have to meet someone tonight. I've put the pedometer on, over 15,000, over 22,000, today already at 12,000 but may not have much more. Good past three days, eh?

happy -- sounds like you're getting back on track! village idiot?! :rofl: Nah, don't think so. You can do it. Don't give up, ok? Good luck with the exercing. You're in Tenn., right? lots of blossoms and flowers, eh? The cherrys are not out much yet but will be soon, any day now. We've has some warm ones.

Well, gotta go. Ciao tutti! :wave:

04-03-2005, 12:56 PM
Happy Sunday chickies.

Short day today as we get "cheated" - well at least I always feel that way - cheated out of an hour today as we move the clocks forward for daylight savings time.

Yes Red, all is in bloom down this way - with the pinks and whites and purples and reds it's gorgeous. The opposite of fall up north - spring pastels. Here's a pic of just 2 of the azaleas in our yard - we have about 25 bushes. There's all sorts of flowers and colors. I love sitting out there. Big ole pat, pat, pat on the back on getting so many steps in - high five too :high: But do get yourself some much needed sleep, ok?

Jolly, hope you have a better eating day today and that you were able to make it to the gym.

Raven, so sorry to hear about your puppy :grouphug: - it's been a really rough year for you.

Hellos, to Chachee and Linda and all other peekers. I'm off to get busy at last...

04-03-2005, 07:55 PM
Well, here I am on the new thread. I have been so bad this weekend.... don't even want to tell you all what I've eaten. I was convinced that I was starting over and I just feel like I am wallowing in bad habits. I must have eaten three days worth of food/calories/ww points in one day yesterday. What is wrong with me?
Have been really busy as DH is setting up a new home business and I'm trying as hard as I can to be supportive and help him, and I think emotionally it's all killing my successes. I've not had time to read your posts, forgive me.
I filled out a form today that WW gives people....I had it in my pile of papers and had never filled it out. It's really interesting.
I think I'll share it.... it will help me to type it all out and you guys might find something that "strikes" you all in it....

"Mental Rehearsing".... is practice in your imagination
Since the mind and body form one system, your mind can help prepare your body for the actual situation in which you want to behave or act a certain way. It's practiced by all top performers, be they athletes, actors, musicians, artists, public speakers or salesmen. It can also be practiced by people who want to become top performers at losing and managing their weight. Mentally reheards for weight-management success by doing the follow:

1. Identify a weight-related situation where you want to respond in a more resourceful way: __________________________________________________ ________________
2. Create a movie of yourself in the situation. Imagine yourself responding the way you want. Watch the movie. What day is it? Where are you? Who are you with? What are you saying? What exactly are you doing and how are you doing it?
3. When you're finished watching the movie, step into it, and rehearse your response in your imagination. See what you will see. Hear what you will hear. Feel what you will feel. Do what you will do.
4. Mentally rehears everyday before the actual situation.

So... I have rehearsed NOT overeating this evening while the family watches tv. Let's see how I do!
Sorry for any type-os, I am so bad....

04-03-2005, 09:41 PM
Hey all. Real quick post. Glad people are findingthe new thread.

The only good I have to post is again making to the gym. Food is still a huge issue.

Yes, Red, Justin is my dog. He had cancer, and had to have his rear leg amputated last week. He is recovering well.

Take care everyone!

04-04-2005, 07:56 AM
Just a quick post... on the fly here. My mental rehearsing did me well last night as I resisted cake and had a WW frozen 2 point dessert instead. I always have dessert!
By the way, just clarifying that my daughter is totally "off the wagon" and has been on a baking binge, hence cake in the house. She is learning how to decorate cakes and has had a lesson on it and is collecting all the specialized equipment. I think it's very artistic and she really enjoys it.
I did suggest that she practice decorating cake pans inverted to practice, and not keep baking all these wonderful things.... she is really into it. The temptation is killing my efforts, though. I love cake.
Well, off to another challenge today, my monthly quilt guild meeting - there is always tons of food!

04-04-2005, 08:01 AM
Good evening all. Still keeping the steps over 10,000. Months ago that would have been a cinch, but I've fallen into bad ways and now I have to think to get those steps in.

happy -- where you are sounds beautiful and thanks for the azalea photo. Things are much earlier than Tokyo it seems. Here the azaleas follow the cherry blossoms. Azaleas are usually blooming in May and there are as many of them as there are cherries in Tokyo and that's a lot! I did not get enough sleep last night thanks to a evening out with a former coworker. I didn't take my bike to meet him, thinking I could get in more steps walking there and back, which was a very fast 30 min. walk. But when we came out of the bar it was raining and I didn't have an umbrella so I grabbed a cab. Just as well I guess, I was pretty tired. It was near midnight and I'd been up since 4:30 a.m., had gotten in a tiring ride that had my horse in a nice sweat. So, happy, what are you doing with your eating and exercise. I noticed you didn't say anything. When I do that it usually means. . .well. you can imagine! ;)

derry -- glad you found us! :wave: Again, don't fret about your overeating. Change is always stressful and you sound like you're going through a lot of it. You'll get this eating out of your system and move on. Don't worry. We are here for you so just keep sharing. I've heard about that "mental rehearsing" and I am going to try it. I think that is an excellent idea! Thanks for writing that up.

jolly -- oh, jolly, I'm so sorry to hear your dog had to have his leg amputated. I know he had to have an operation but I had no idea. You didn't say. Yikes, no wonder you were so upset. But a hind leg is easier for a dog to get along without once they get used to it. Let's hope he will have many long happy years with you! By the way, have you heard from Raven. I sent her an email. Just feel so bad for here. She has had so many rough times. And she was so sweet when my cat died. I wish there was something I could do. I know you and her are close. Please let her know how much I am feeling for her now, will you please?

04-04-2005, 08:04 AM
hi derry! Just saw your post. We must have been typing at the same time. That's a tough one for you with your daughter baking. Wow, maybe you can ask her to limit it to once a week or so, or can she bake when you're not home and then give away the cakes or something. Is there any cake you don't like? I can't stand bananas so banana cake would not even be touched by me. Also, anything with a lot of walnuts I don't like much either. Maybe she can make your least favorites? Hmm. Just a thought. . .

04-04-2005, 11:52 AM
Hi all. Derry, that is a great idea to have your daughter decorate the cake pan bottoms. Less calories, and cheaper. She can take pictures of the ones she likes, for her own portfolio.

Well, I made a baby step this mroning. I had bought some chips and dip yesterday, and threw out what was left this morning. Baby steps.

I am off and running. Have to finish up my resume, go ride, go work out, and do a few other errands before hanging out with the pets and then going in to my part time job.

Have a super day everyone.

04-04-2005, 05:37 PM
OK. Quick post to get us off the second page - we are starting April off slowwwwww.

the only thing I did not get done today is ride. but, since I am going to wait to get Justin's drainage tube removed Thursday, I will be able to ride tomorrow.

Hope to hear more friendly voices soon. Take care everyone.

04-04-2005, 05:44 PM
Hi jolly, sorry, no time to post and things are so slow here, it's like talking to myself. No fun at all. Good at least you're here. Glad to hear you'll be able to get a ride in. I'm off to try to do the same myself. Others! Where are you? :shrug:

04-05-2005, 12:27 AM
I hear you on the talking to one's self thing. And I thought the medication was supposed to take care of that . . . . Just kidding.

Nothing new to report, just wanted to give you someone to talk to!

04-05-2005, 08:53 AM
I don't know, Jolly, is it just you and me on this thread?! Well, I've busy working and I need to get to sleep for a while, then up and continue working, sitting here at the computer. I did get out for a walk though and I have kept my steps for the day over 10,000. Today they were over 16,000 actually. So, that is better than nothing and I think it's much better than what I was doing recently, which was sitting here all day long with but short trips to the store.

How was your day? Get to the gym or to ride? I rode this morning too. It is so tiring. My horse works up a sweat these days too. I'm able to get her working better. But, it is warming up too! ;)

Take care. Hope to hear more from you and the others as well! :wave:

04-05-2005, 09:00 AM
Hello. Everyone? And good morning to you too, Red.

I did not make the gym today. I was so tired from my part time job last night that I fell asleep on the couch this morning. I will go tomorrow. I did not make it to the barn yesterday, but will tonight after work. Glad you got a good ride in.

Good job with the stepping. Have a great day.

04-05-2005, 12:04 PM
Good morning, or evening depending on where you are....
Great idea on photographing her cake decorating efforts! This way, she'll see improvements and changes! I like that!
Well, just back from my WW meeting and I lost 2 pounds! I managed to salvage the week, I guess. Last week I gained 2.8, so I am still up from where I was a few weeks ago, but I am re-gaining control, I hope?
I am relieved, it's been a tough few weeks, and I still really blew it on Saturday, so I was really double relieved, if that makes sense, that I had a loss. I don't FEEL any thinner and keep wondering if last week's weigh in numbers were an error? I didn't feel heavier last week and really was shocked that I had put on so much weight.
So sorry about the dog's leg, Jolly. I haven't had time to backtrack and read all the old posts I missed, what happened? You must be heartbroken.
Where is Raven, I wonder? Times have been really rough for her and for the rest of us, yet we are hanging in there.
Let's keep trying guys!

04-05-2005, 10:22 PM
Hi all. Derry - my dog had bone cancer. We amputated the leg to save his life. Hopefully.

I need to stop the food madness. That's all I have to say about that. the madness! And get to the gym tomorrow. I was just soooooo tired this morning. But i am off to bed soon, so have no excuse for not going tomorrow.

have a great night all.

04-06-2005, 01:49 AM
Hey all,
Sorry I haven't been posting. Seems like I only get to post late t night and then have to choose between sleep and posting. Sleep has been winning out. But now guilt is taking over...

Jolly I'm sorry about your dog. I hope he will get along well and that the cancer is over. Dogs are remarkablely resillient. Stop the eating madness right now Missy! Good for you on the chip toss the other night.

Red, get yourself some sleep. Do you work like 20 hours a day? Sounds like it's long days for you. Remember that after enough sleep deprevation you do get goofy, make bad choices and don't see your typos and spelling errors!

Yay Linda on the loss for the week - let it be the start of good momentum for you.

I myself am struggling to stay on track. We started walking the neighborhood after dinner. Got to meet several neighbors. The houses here are really nice - charming but not pretentious. And everything is in bloom so the colors are a nice treat for the eyes too. Come to think of it I do have a bit of a stuffy nose and runny eyes. Hope I don't have pollen allergies. At least I didn't think I did. I am also trying to stick with the "if I didn't pack it to eat, then I don't eat it" philosophy at work. I do admit to gazing fondly at the candy machine. And then I see my reflection, fat and slouching and I remember why I don't need anything behind that glass. I have gotten back to 2 liters of water a day also - that was really hard, the only way I can get through it is to make a game of it and take 8 slugs of water out the bottle at a time. Slosh slosh. I just keep reminding myself - it's getting hot here already and in another 2 months it will be sweltering. Sweltering is so much worse when you're way, way overweight. So the time is here to finally do something. No more excuses.

How about you guys? Let's back each other up, ok?

04-06-2005, 07:47 AM
Jolly, I am so sorry about the dog. Poor thing! I hope this is "it" and he will be ok now. You must be so sad about this, no wonder you are eating extra. Don't we all do this when we are feeling down? I know I do. Food sometimes makes it all feel better for a little bit of time.... I guess we revert to our childhood when "mom" gave us food to make us happy? I am trying to tell myself all the time that food isn't going to change what is wrong and makes me feel sad. It might make me feel good momentarily, but in the end I end up with "eater's remorse" and the thing that made me sad is STILL hanging over my head.
What a good thing that the candy machine is giving you a reflection at work, Happy! I think you have to adopt that philosophy! I have temptations like this as well and it is awfully hard to resist. You should ask the vending company to put a few healthier choices in there so you can have treats as well! Or, bring your own VERY controlled treat, maybe one day a week?
I had an NSV last night guys! We ate out at an Italian place. Everyone else has high calorie and high fat content incredible pasta dishes and I had minestrone soup, bread and took margarine as an option and then had Greek salad as my entree'. I felt good when I left there, not overloaded. I didn't overdo it, I had self control!
Have you all heard of a yahoo group called Freecycle? I joined it a few weeks ago in my area, you must check it out!
It's a great new trend that is sweeping (really!) through our area really fast. Read up on it! The point I am making about it here is that you can get a bit of exercise for yourself and clean out unused items and find people to take them. You can also get items FREE that you want, I even see treadmills given away for free and bicycles!

04-06-2005, 08:13 AM
Hi all. Good job on the NSV, Derry. I have heard about Freecycle, but never checked it out. I have been donating a lot of stuff to Goodwill, maybe I should check this out . . . Good job with all the positive changes you are making, Happy. Sounds like things are beautiful by you. It is unseasonably warm up here, but not a lot of flowers or trees yet.

I know I need to stop the eating. I know it doesn't help anything. But like you said, goes back to when Mom gives you a cookie for having a bad day at school (sorry Mom). Some primal comfort in food. Just makes me feel icky though. I even missed the gym this morning because I was up all night with acid reflux :(

Anyway. Just trying to get through this crappy day. Have a good one everyone.

04-07-2005, 01:48 AM
Just checking in...
Did well for 2 days and shot today in the foot. We were having a lunch and learn - a training seminar where you get lunch. I was going to have a salad but the order got mixed up and they brought in sub sandwiches. I don't think the tuna was all that healthy and yes, I ate the chips and part of a cookie too :o Tonight's dinner was spagetti. Care to join me in a Pepcid toast Jolly :cheers: talk about acid reflux. All I can say is how dumb am I to do this knowing the consequences?

Tomorrow it's back to bringing a healthy lunch and I can control the chicken fajiitas for dinner. I will walk, either outside or on the treadmill and I am sticking with the water goal again. Glug, glug, glug.

Have a terrific Thursday all.

04-07-2005, 06:51 AM
Hi all. I did some better yesterday with eating, so actually slept well last night - HURRAY! So off to the gym now. Have a great day all.

04-07-2005, 08:26 AM
Hi guys, Trying to get a post in here sideways. Well, I've gone and had another disgusting day eating-wise, really going overboard on the junk these days. I don't know, just am thinking of myself as old and ugly and a hopeless slob. If I could just get some of that acting practice in, that visualization thing derry was talking about.. . .but, at least I wrote everything down today, as I said I would be doing and haven't. I wrote it in a small notebook but it's too small, am going back to my big one, where I can doodle and make comments and see the day develop. I feel like I don't deserve to be thin, no, really, I don't, not unless I can control this overeating. Oh well, got over 13,000 steps in today and that would have been a lot less if I didn't go out of my way to add them in. :cp:

jolly -- thanks for keeping the thread alive with your little posts. Glad to hear you had a better eating day and got some sleep. Ah, sleep, yes, I could use some of that. Couldn't sleep at ALL last night, tossing and turning all night. . .do I hear music?! I was dreaming I had to get to the riding club but everything was slowing me down, putting obstacles in my way. I did get there but it was too late to ride, then the alarm went off. I did get there today. My horse, I dion't know, I'm feeling so bad. She just doesn't want to go forward much. She's not responsive to the leg. I am starting to get doubts about being able to carry on with her. Then again, the teacher can get her going OK, so I feel I should. Sure wish I could lighten up for her too. Well, jolly, hope you get some rides in and hope you got to the gym. I don't know where the eating comes from, I think I always wanted to eat, always enjoyed it, and my mother didn't give us food as rewards or to make things feel better. Oh, well, whatever, I guess it depends why we're doing it now, right? I think I just enjoy it, who knows? How's you dog doing? I hope better. It must have been a hard decision for you to make, really hard, but I, for what it's worth, think it was the right one. You did what you could. Animals are very resilient. You have such a good heart to be helping your dog the way you are.

happy -- Yes, I think I do work like 20 hours a day! Oh well, the life of a freelancer who needs lots of money and time to ride and have to do it all on my own, well, that's my choice. Sigh. Glad to hear you're walking at night, getting to meet the neighbors, sounds so nice. Ah, everything in bloom. . .it's heavenly here too. Hope you don't have allergies either. I had to laugh at you looking at your reflection in the candy machine :lol: Why are you slouching?! Back straight, chest out, look proud! Good you're drinking water too. Yes, the hot months are worse when you're overweight and more embarrasing too! No place to hide the rolls. Ugh! Yes, let's back each other up! What are you doing with your eating, happy? Are you on a special plan or counting calories? I have to start something. The natural way just ain't doing it!! :lol:

derry -- :bravo: on the 2 lb loss!! :cp: Good for you for getting that back off. And getting back in control. Alright! The other week was probably water, don't worry. I'm worried about Rave, too. I emailed her but got no reply. But, I doubt she feels like posting. Imagine, that poor dog that she told us was off her food, dying on her. God, it's so sad. You're right about the food not changing anything, except for a very short time, and then you feel worse. Darn! Why don't I just be nice to myself and eat the good food, not the junk. Do I really have to go off sugar again totally to start being good to myself, trying to make the most of what I have instead of p`ssing on it!?! :dunno: Great going on your NSV too! I checked out freecycle. Found they have a place in Tokyo too. Not much action on it though but could be interesting. I'll keep my eye on it. There are papers here with lots of ads for free stuff but things get snatched up. This may be a better option for me if people don't know about it too much.

Ok, gotta go, get some sleep! Hurrah!

04-07-2005, 08:26 AM
So, I am a good girl one day and "bad" the next day.... I'm not being consistent. Yesterday, I blew it on goodies and today I have a "pizza party" planned by my quilting group. I think I'd better go outside and do some serious yard work to burn off these calories, time permitting later on.
I had a chat with a CPA yesterday about running a home business that kind of stressed me out and I kind of "lost it" after that. I have to do better than this. The day before was so successful and I was proud of my NSV and I have to reach inside to me inner diva and figure out what can make me stronger.

04-07-2005, 11:43 AM
Hello everyone, I hope you don't mind a new face in the crowd. :)
I've been lurking for a while and after a few days of utter and complete self-disgust, I decided it's time to get off my butt and *DO* something.

Every diet I've ever been on has failed, so this time around, I've decided just to get back to basics-- which is why the title of your thread caught my eye!
I'm trying to do the water thing.. and aside from Karate (2 nights a week for the last couple of years. I'm due to go for my purple belt soon!) I'll be walking on the three days I'm not at class. Also portion-size-- this is my biggie. And it's what I really need to crack down on. Anyway, I've made up my mind to be postive about this-- for the long haul this time. I know it'll be a struggle, because I've always fizzled after about two weeks of hard work. :(

Jolly~~Justin will adapt just fine to only having three legs. Our dog Kate suffered a nasty break after being kicked by one of our mares. The darn thing refused to heal, so after surgeries, we had to have her left rear leg removed. It hasn't slowed her down a drop!

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble. I look forward to hearing from you all.

04-07-2005, 01:21 PM
Hi everyone, and welcome to our new voice, Tanzie. You have come to the right place - several of us have horses.

I am doing ok food wise today. And, did make it to the gym. So, two good things. Justin gets his tube out tonight. A third good thing. I need to get my butt back to work, OOPS!

I will try and find time to leave a longer post tonight, but here's to us. We ALL deserve our best, healthiest selves.

04-08-2005, 12:43 AM
Well, good evening!

I walked today and went to class-- where I sweated profusely. :D
Somehow I managed to choke down all my water. I swear my eyeballs are floating.

Now I'm off to bed and hopefully a good nights rest.

Take care all,

04-08-2005, 07:57 AM
Tanzie, welcome and I sure don't mind having you aboard.
Jolly, glad you are getting back into the "swing" of things.
I had a really bad day yesterday, guys, this is just overwhelming to me. My dad was diagnosed with bone cancer yesterday, he's had "under control" prostate cancer for years, but now it's spread and this is a very painful type of cancer. He's 82 years old, keep us in your prayers please.
I totally lost it yesteray, don't want to get into it, but today I dug out my journal and logged in breakfast. I will work out. I can't let what is going on cause me to lose direction, even if it did for one day.

04-08-2005, 09:29 AM
So sorry to hear about your Dad, derry. :sorry: I'll definitely put you guys in my prayers.. Goodluck with the journaling. It's something I've never been able to maintain. Too much trouble, I guess. I know it makes things easier, but stupidly, I've never been one to do things the easy way.

I got up this morning and walked after the bus came by and picked up the heathens. They are the first ones on, so it runs by here at 6:00. I bought an IPOD shuffle for walking and listening, but somehow it just seems wrong not to listen to the birds wake up, yanno? Anyway, I listen to it when I walk in the afternoons, or when I'm bebopping around the house cleaning. That way, nobody else has to suffer through my 80's hits collection. :cb:

Hope everyone else's day is good,

04-08-2005, 11:50 AM
Hello ladies.

Sorry to be MIA. I haven't been able to get on the website since March. I don't know what happened, but I have been checking daily and today was the first day I was able to get online to the site.

I'll keep this short, because I'm heading out the door, but I wanted to let you know, Derry, I'll keep your dad in my prayers. Sorry to hear it has spread. I lost two grandparents to cancer and I know how horrible it is.

Hi and Welcome to Tanzie.

I'll try to post more often, but I need to make sure I can get online to the site. I haven't talked to Raven, but will try to email her again next week.

Happy Friday to all.


04-08-2005, 12:09 PM
Jolly, thank you for your inspirational statement of recommittment. Your list sounds like everything I am trying to do : workouts every evening (5x/wk), with weights and the bike; I've signed up for some weight loss classes (though I could probably teach them, I figure they will help keep me motivated). I have cut back my intake both on calories and fats. I'm journalling. I've eliminated sodas and chocolate (Yes, I've read the latest on it, but it is my worst trigger to eat.). I've basically returned to a vegan diet, except that I have about 1/2 c skim milk on my oatmeal or cereal for bfast. All this is working, if I can just stick with it. Thanks for the pep talk! It really helps maintain resolve.

04-08-2005, 06:00 PM
HEllo all. Derry, you are definitely in my prayers.

Did not make it to the gym today, nor to the barn. Justin (my dog) got his drainage tube out last night, and there is quite a bit of drainage. I really need to go take care of him. I feel like a bad horse owner, but there is only so much I can do. Sigh. I wish I could clone myself - but only need enough money for one of me :D Too bad it doesn't work that way.

Welcome also to Sea. Have a good evening everyone.

04-09-2005, 03:17 PM
Hello everyone. Or should I say, Hello anyone??? Not much new to report here. Did get to the gym today, and got everything else I wanted to do before work done. Got a nice ride in. though I was riding to the soundtrack of Moulin Rouge, and found out my horse really does not like violin music :lol: I am making better food choices, so that is good.

Have a great day all.

Apple Blossom
04-09-2005, 04:49 PM
Hello everyone!
Sorry I've been out of touch. Easter week/spring break was really busy and then my husband was working on taxes and I haven't been able to get near the computer until today, and only because he left this morning on a business trip. He is awesome with our finances, I don't think I could do our taxes without help and he was able to figure it all out. It was a little more complicated this year because we sold out rental house and there were some changes in the tax laws yadda yadda yadda.
Anyway, I was able to achieve my goal of losing 2 lbs before Easter. And even though I've been really lax diet wise, I've only gained 1 back. I'd like to lose 3 more while DH is gone. There is no beer in the house and it's going to stay that way!!!
I've been walking regularly too, that shouldn't be too hard to keep up.
The pool we swim at opened today. Swim suit season is not too far away.....
I am sad to hear about all the sad things that are going on with everyone. I'll be thinking about your dad, Derry. And the doggies too.
Talk to you tomorrow!

04-09-2005, 11:08 PM
Howdy girls. :)

Well, the weekend has come, and is halfway gone. The weather here (In Southern Miss.) has been wonderful for the last few days, and I got out in the sunshine today and put in an impatient bed and planted a few shrubs around the house.

I'm doing really good on my water! I'm finding it's getting easier, as I go along. I didn't walk today, but I figure the work with the shovel has to count for something. ;)

On another note, I got back on Abby for the first time in over a year. :cheer: I took a really bad fall off her the last time I rode, and it put the fear of hospitalization in me. Anyway, I did get back on her right after it happened, but I was terrified. (I'm too big and too old to hit the ground that hard too many more times.) So, I watched from the sidelines as hubby and son rode off into the sunset without me. Until yesterday. I only rode around in the round pen, but it was a start. Yay me!

Anyhoo, hello to anyone I've missed saying hello to and I hope you're all doing well.

Have a great tomorrow~

04-10-2005, 03:17 PM
Hey, guys. Good to hear from you. This weekend is going fairly smoothly. Getting everything done I need to. Had a nice ride on my pony today. It is so nice when he uses his brain for good! Justin is slowly healing. I am making some better food choices. The big news is (drumroll, please) I started my 10 weeks to your first 5k running program again. It felt so good to just get out there and do it. Hurray. I would like to get a couple of 5k races in this year. We shall see.

Have a great day all.

04-10-2005, 11:29 PM
Heyas chicks.

I think I'm starting to get better.

I got on the treadmill yesterday, and did three miles. After that, we went out to the stables and I faced the evil Shadow monster and actually trimmed all four of her feet. I am intimidated no longer. Today I feel (imagine) like I wrestled with an 1100 pound horse for an hour. So I gave myself a bit of a break and watched the history channel all day. Yeah, that's motivation for you.

My daughter told me a week or so ago "Mom, something has to change." I thought about what she said for a long time, and she's right. Something does have to change. That something is me.

Again, I'm letting fear rule my life. Again, I'm letting fear paralyze me into inaction. Again, I'm letting fear push me into feeling sorry for myself, into sitting in a corner and waiting for something good to happen.

I know better. I need to make the good thing happen. I know that. How can life be so bittersweet? How can so much beauty and joy exist in the same time and place as sadness, loss, pain? It's so contradictory. I guess I was having - and probably still am - trouble accepting both without feeling guilty in one form or another.

Tomorrow I'll trim Eve's hooves, and I promised Ian that I'd show him how to start working with her in the round pen. She's so bloody smart, and so eager to please, she makes training an absolute joy. But then, I get such an immense satisfaction out of working with any of them, truly.

I've come to the conclusion that not only do I truly despise shopping, I really loathe cooking as well. That was a rather surprising conclusion for me... I've always insisted that I liked to cook, I just "didn't have the time" or "didn't like cleaning up after." Honestly, I'd rather clean up after than do the cooking. So .. what am I to do? I resort to pizza, fast food, instant meals FAR too often to be healthy. Interesting little question for myself. I was hoping someone here might have suggestions. Two kids, a boyfriend, and myself. If it were just me, it would be SO much easier. Rawr.

I'm sorry I'm not up with everyone. I've been rather lost in my own little drama.

Jolly - I really hope Justin is doing ok. Please give him a huge hug for me, ok? Our little dog Ursa is very needy lately, always underfoot, always up in your face. She makes me cry, because it's obvious she misses Callisto too. I keep finding pictures of her, keep seeing her everywhere. The walks are the hardest... outside last night, in the dark, I kept looking for that bright white flash of her running... I've never lost a dog to anything but old age before, and it's like a very large hole has been torn in my heart. She was so much my companion.

Enough.. I'm making myself cry again. Jolly. I'll join you. I'm going to go to the coolrunning site and Ian and I will be doing the couch potato to 5k program.

04-11-2005, 02:42 AM
Hey chickies,

Welcome to the new folks.

Derry, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad - my prayers go to you. My brother had bone cancer so I know how you feel. Be strong for him - at least when you are around him. And it's ok to cry too. :grouphug:

Raven, it's good to see you again tho it's pretty late and you're still on the site - still getting up so early in the morning? I'm afraid I don't have any answers for the cooking if you hate to cook and shop and clean up - usually you have to give in to one, yah know? ;) Can BF fire up the grill when you're on your way home? Grilled fish, lean pork chops or chicken, a salad or cut veggies and some fresh fruit and you've hit all the food groups. Easy to prepare and low fat. Grill up some extra chicken, slice cold the next day over a salad - remember that fabulous Carribean Chicken salad that you liked at Chili's was it? That's not too hard to make. Maybe you can convince your daughter that she has an untapped talent as an excellent cook????

Good luck with the running program Jolly, it's good to hear that you're getting into it again. Like Tanzie it was a great weekend out this way and we did alot of digging, cleaning and planting in the garden ourselves. I really felt it this morning when I woke up. Ouch!

Ok, I walked away to take care of a load of laundry and here it is 2 hours later and way past bedtime. Going to be a loooonnnngggg day tomorrow. Better leave now and get some shut eye in. Hellos to everyone I didn't get to yet, will catch up tomorrow. Make it a good one...

04-11-2005, 08:14 AM
Hi guys, haven't read all your posts, will be back later on today. Have to run a huge errand and I kind of blew it all weekend and took time off from everything.

04-11-2005, 08:18 AM
Heh guys, sorry I can't post. Just have no time and haven't been doing anything that warrants a post here anyhow! :cry: meaning I've been eating and not exercising. Raven, very glad to have you back. I'm checking at coolrunning. Had never heard of it. Looks like fun. I may do that program too just to get back into the swing of things. Thanks for the tip! OK, can't write now. Just wanted to say Hi to everyone. Best of luck. I'll be back. . . :wave:

04-11-2005, 09:59 AM
Hey all. Payroll Monday here - fun, fun, fun. I did make it to the gym this morning - though did not get much of a workout in. I am so overtired, and not feeling the greatest. But, I figure some workout is better than none. Right?

I am glad you will be joining me, RAven. I have to find the money for decent shoes, but figure what I have will work for now. I am doing more walking than running anyway. But soon.

I am glad it was such a beautiful weekend, and sounds like people were able to enjoy. One step at a time, everyone.

Oh yeah, Raven. What I found works for me is making a menu. I look at what I am doing when, and plan meals around the amount of time I have to cook. Do bigger meals on the weekend when I have time, freeze stuff, etc. It helps me to know what I am making, instead of having to "decide." The chicken breast/salad thing is a good idea. A lot of stuff you can microwave. Check out microwave or slow cooker cook books at your library.

Have a wonderful day everyone.

04-11-2005, 01:05 PM
Hey chicks,

The morning is easin' on by.. and here I sit. :P I'm attempting to put our finances in order and have only manged to waste a bit of time surfing.
Goodnews is that I walked this morning-- and yesterday. Foodwise, things went OK.. no seconds and I kept my portions reasonable. We weighed yesterday, and I'm back down 2 pounds, which is good. It would be greater if I hadn't put back on the five I lost earlier in the year!

Still thinking about you and yours Derry. I hope all is going well.

I can totally empathize Happy-- funny how putting a few greens, flowers, shrubs (take your pick) will put the hurt on you in places a regular workout won't touch!

So sorry to hear about your puppy, Raven. Those fuzzy little heathens have a way of crawling right into our hearts and then leaving big holes when they go... Give Ursa extra cuddles. It'll do you both good.

Hey, jolly- like Red, I took a peek at the coolrunnings site. Looks good. Even I 'm tempted by their 'couch to 5k' program. I've never been much of a runner though.. darn fallen arches. Perhaps if I worked my way slowly up... who knows. Anyway, goodluck with it!


Apple Blossom
04-11-2005, 05:29 PM
My mom decided to scare us and visited the emergency room last night. She had a stoke a few years ago and since then she occasionally has seziures. This sounds like it was not a full blown one, her care taker was being precaucious, which I am grateful for. Anyway, she was only there for a few hours and they sent her home. Today she seems to be fine. We'll visit her later.
Yesterday was not a great diet day, because I did some stress eating. . But I did go to the store and I resisted the beer. Milestone. Although I could have really used one last night. I'm going to check out cool runners too.
Got to run & pick up my son from school. Later!

04-11-2005, 05:38 PM
Tanzie, jolly, Apple, hi there. Trying to decide whether to get to the stable of stay home and do the piles of work. I need some time to regroup, I think, think about how I'm going to try to move toward my goals.

Apple, I hope your mother is OK and that this was nothing. My father had a heart attack just a week or so ago, the same thing, only in the hospital a day, tests showed no need for surgery, scary though and it reminds us all of our mortality. Live while you're here. Enjoy the people you know in your life while you can.

Take care, all! :wave:

04-11-2005, 06:48 PM

Hi guys!
What a busy day I had. We now officially own our own business. I went to the state house in NH (Concord) today and filed all the necessary paperwork, and paid fees. I met my mom and dad for lunch today as they were in Concord to see a doctor, and dad is going to be started on radiation therapy. I've been eating, haven't been journalling and have been kind of a mess, to be honest. So much has been going on.
But, tomorrow is my ww meeting and I am going. I think I might do a no weigh in pass as I think the scale would only depress me. I'm going to start over tomorrow and just figure this past 5 days or so is one of those times for me. I hate saying this to you all again, seems like I am always starting over, but at least I am not giving up - I'm truly not. Just took a bit of a diversion.
On top of this, my brother in law has been in remission for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and he had another biopsy done today and they think it's come back on him. Not a fun situation. One of my good friends was diagnosed with bone cancer (same kind my dad has) but in her spine the day before my dad last week. What is this? I feel like I am swimming in a "sea of cancer" and it's really not fun at all.
At least the new business is a positive thing for us, but stressful. Bad timing.
So, where does leave me, kind of an emotional wreck. It leads me to the refrigerator and dining establishments, which is not a good thing. I ate out a few times, I had french fries and ice cream. I just "crashed" and had all the stuff that I knew I shouldn't be having. Today was better, it's almost dinner time and I have not blown it as badly as I have since Friday, but it's not a letter perfect day, either.
BUT, having all these people around me with cancer is really something to think about. Do any of us want to be the ones with this next? Taking care of ourselves in terms of eating and exercising is so important, isn't it? Don't give up guys, I'm not giving up either. Lower that fat content, eat the frozen yoghurt instead of the ice cream, have mashed potatoes instead of fries. We all can do this, even if I didn't over the weekend. I have just got to gain control.
So, guys, I'm here. I've not had time to read all your posts from the last few days, so don't know where you all stand, but wanted to give a full update here. Forgive me for not keeping up. I know you all understand.
I did, at least, spend 20 minutes on the treadmill this morning. I really fought with myself before I did and I almost didnt do it. I even said to my husband "would you love me still is I was 300 pounds?". He raised his eyebrows and didn't answer me.... that alone sent me straight to the treadmill!
Trying again, and again, and again,

04-12-2005, 01:09 AM
Sorry to hear about the worries with so many of the family members here on the thread. Blessings and good health to all. Sometimes I feel it's a not so gentle reminder to all of us not to take things for granted. It's so easy to get caught up in the insignificant things and ignore the stuff that really matters. So tomorrow focus on one thing that really matters in your life...

04-12-2005, 02:57 PM
Hello all! I agree with many of you, that life throws us these curvbes to remind us to live, enjoy,each moment and not take each other and the blessings we do have for granted.

Here's to us!

04-12-2005, 03:33 PM
Today was the first day of the "official" Couch-to-5k program. It went well. Calves were sore, which is to be expected. But I made it through.

Finally starting to feel almost like me again. Starting.

Have an interview with another recruiter tomorrow. Hopefully it will get me some work.

Apple Blossom
04-12-2005, 06:09 PM
Good luck Raven!

I think the hard part about all these challenges we are facing is keeping ourselves in the present. I have this wonderful little baby who will be ONE next month and time is going by so quickly!! I want to enjoy him in the here and now. It's hard when other circumstances force you to live too much in the future. Weight loss is like that too. we imagine our new and improved selves while we are stuggling with the present "shape", and get frustrated when our goals are difficult and SLOW. Lets be happy with our progress today and tomorrow will be better!
Spending so much time with my mother and my husbands parents too make me worried about growing old. It's obvious with all 3 of them what has worked for them and what hasn't. Staying active is the most important I think. Use it or lose it. Including your brain.
Anyway. I read and article about sugar last night. Sugar has never been something I have worried much about. I still don't. BUT I didn't realize that one scoop of ice cream has 7 teaspoons of sugar!! Whoa! I'm still eating ice cream but that fact alone should keep me from pigging out on scoop 2 and 3.....
See ya later....

04-13-2005, 07:13 AM
Good morning everyone. Just a quick post before I head to the gym. It is hard to feel motivated today. Yesterday was supposed to be a jogging day. However, I woke up to a cold rain - and I am not THAT devoted. I had set the alarm for later too, since I had worked the night before, and did not have time to hit the gym. This morning I am just sooooo tired. But I know I need to go.

On a good note, Justin got his stitches out last night, and the vet thinks all is looking good. Hurray! He is really moving well on three legs, and hopefully I can walk the two of them together soon.

I have been suffering from very frequent acid reflux again. I have been careful with the nighttime eating, so I know it is stress. I guess in large part what you said about living inthe present, Apple. I tend to worry so much about what I should have done, or what might happen, that I make myself have extra stress. I need to focus more on the now.

Enough for now. have a great day all :wave:

04-13-2005, 07:20 AM
heh jolly, hope you feel better. really glad to hear justin is doing well. just wanted to jump in and say hi! :wave:

04-13-2005, 07:44 AM
Heh. Jolly, my present causes me enough stress. Adding past and future would probably just make me keel over on the spot. ;)

Have that interview with the recruiter this morning. I keep thinking about her "dress professionally" comment, and mentally going over my lack of "professional" clothing. It just seems like we are judged so much more on our appearance than we are on our actual accomplishments and/or skills in this pathological society of ours. Put me and my 20 years of experience next to a young, slender, polished woman just out of school, and guess who gets the job? *sigh* Ohwell. There's that positive attitude of mine showing again! :D

Today after the interview I would like to do some pilates. I'm trying really hard not to focus on the scale. I just want to get into the habit of working out again. One thing at a time.

04-13-2005, 07:49 AM
:lol: raven. "present causes me enough stress"!!! hear, hear!
oh, you bet, dressing is big. you've got to look the part, unless you have tons of money! then you can look any way you like! so, did you not get the job?

04-13-2005, 07:52 AM
oh, raven, misread that, you still HAVE the interview. well, good luck! :crossed:

04-13-2005, 11:40 AM
Hey all. Good morning, part two. Well, I did not, in fact, get my lazy rear to the gym. I am going to set the alarm a little later tomorrow ( I work tonight), and do the run I missed Tuesday. I WILL get it right. My dog is doing really well, Red. Thanks. I also emailed my missing friend again, and apologized again, and hope she will start speaking to me. We shall see.

Good luck with the interview, Raven. I hope you get what you are looking for.

04-13-2005, 01:35 PM
Well, all I'm looking for now is some form of income to keep myself going so I can feed my kids, my horses, and keep training as a hoofcare specialist.

*shrug* It was just an interview with a recruiter, just the kind that make you feel horribly inadequate.

I'm so glad to hear Justin is doing better, Jolly.

Thanks Red .. how is YOUR present doing?

04-13-2005, 05:02 PM
Good morning. I ate well for the past two days! Hurrah, Hurrah, ton of exercise Tuesday, just walking yesterday. Am going to learn to schedule in down days! You can do it, jolly. You are awewsome! Rave, ALWAYS focus on what you DID, what you CAN do, never on your inadequacies, except perhaps as a tiny mental note to sometime do some work in that area, if it is at all a factor. Remember, if you think of inadequacies your energy will be down and dull. Think of you at your best and THAT will come through, they don't have to know you're thinking about horses's hooves or something! You'll just carry yourself through well and that will win them over! Gotta run now. Try to write more later, I will. Ciao!

04-14-2005, 12:04 AM
Hopefully it went better than you are feeling right now, Raven. My fingers (and toes, and eyes) are crossed. I had my legs crossed too, but then everyone thought I had to go to the bathroom. Hurrah for good days, Red. Hopefully I will be joining you in good days soon.

though, hey, I will report a NSV. We had a pot luck tonight at my part time job. I brought a ton of leftovers home. I was all set to have another generous helping of my dessert, when I was able to brush my teeth, pack up the dessert, and not indulge again.

Have a great day.

04-14-2005, 01:14 AM
Hey there's nothing wrong with scheduling "down" time - you do need some time to recharge the batteries. The problem with most of us is that the down days last for days instead of the intended brief break.

I know myself I do well for days and then a little off plan and I hit the skids and it takes what seems like alot of fighting to get back on again.

Raven, just remember that recruiters expect you to drop your life and rush to their schedule and then they are only interested in you if they can make money off of you. So don't let them influence your moods or make you feel badly - most of them are scoundrels. And working for a living is a #@#(*%$$% as we all know too well. Good luck finding something to tide you through. Just don't give up.

Today's little victory was getting through all of my water. I had too much salt recently and I'm trying to flush it out of my system. I was adding a slice of fresh lemon to the water but then I got the most wretched stomach ache in the afternoon. Guess the acid in the lemon was a no no. Maybe I'll try a slice of orange tomorrow. I find that when it's not hot out - and we're in a bit of a cooler spell now, it's harder to get down all that water. And I did get my crunches in today. Little victories...

04-14-2005, 09:42 AM
Hi everyone! I am here, but I am really in trouble with what I have eaten. I seem to do well in the mornings and then fall appart by afternoon.
I have to reach inside myself and pull out some strength to continue this. I stated this, I want to do this and finish - getting to my goal. But, who am I kidding when I go to a restaurant and order onion rings, which is exactly what I did last night.
I have no excuses, things are not going well but that really isn't an excuse to eat the things that I know are wrong.

04-14-2005, 10:04 AM
Hey all. Sounds like many of us need to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe we should try another mini challenge (like the 4 days in a row of exercising we did recently?) Only make sure we each set a reward for ourselves, like flowers, a manicure, time for a tub soak with a new book (even if it is from the library) - something that will really treat ourselves - if we succeed. Any ideas? Should we set the same challlenge for all of us, or each give ourselves an individual goal for, say, a week? Or, since May is coming up, set a challenge for the month of May? Ideas, anyone?

Happy, I find that in the warmer months, if I take a water bottle, fill it half full (lid off), and freeze it overnight, then fill it up with water in the morning, I have ice cold water all day, and am more likely to drink it. Helps for me. Derry, be kind to yourself. Accept the stresses you have in your life right now. Acknowledge that this is going to be a difficult time for you. Bad choices are just bad choices. Take one choice at a time, and don't dwell.

On a (small) good note, I did do my run this morning. One step at a time, right?

Have a great day all.

Apple Blossom
04-14-2005, 02:26 PM
I had two bowls of junky cereal at 11:00 last night. And I've been trying to pay attention to sugar. :lol: Oh well, no harm done. Won't have time for a walk today so I'm going to try my best to do my 15 minutes of exercise video tonight. And some sit ups. I think that will be my mini challenge-beer and sit-ups. 60 sit ups every day and 60 more if I have a beer. Which I won't because like I said, there is no beer in the house.... :p
I'm tempted to go out for dinner tonight because my daughter has dance reheasal at 6:00 which would make preparing dinner hard. Hmmm...
I will post again tonight with my successful day of wise food choices and exercise...

04-14-2005, 06:24 PM
Wow, go awol a few days and the posting busts loose!

A mini challenge sounds great. What sort did you have in mind, jolly?

Today has been a bust for me eatingwise. :( I found myself chomping on a honeybun this morning. So not good. *sigh* Guess I'll just have to work harder tonight at karate..

Anyway, I hope this finds ya'll well. I'm off to check the grill. We finally bought a new one after our old gas grill kicked the bucket. So, we're breaking it in and Q'ing tonight. The chicken'll be healthy, and I'm really looking forward to it Unfortunately, I can't eat before class because I get too hot and tend to feel sick if I've eaten. And I don't get home until after 8-- which is really too late to eat. *blergh*

Take care all,

04-14-2005, 07:20 PM
Good morning all.
I notched another good day yesterday. Exercise, work, eating well, bit of enjoyment (reading a book). The biggest thing for me is the eating, I've realized. Even when I'd been staying away from sugar and/or other junk, I find I'm not making the time to actually cook and that means I'm not getting enough vitamins and minerals in me, just calories. It makes ALL the difference when I cook I have found. I do not want to keep grazing, even if it's on relatively healthy foods like fruit or nuts. For the last two days I've cooked up fresh vegetables (green pepper, tomato, shiitake mushrooms, onion, fresh spinach) in olive oil with an array of Italian spices, (garlic --later will use fresh, marjoram, oregano, parsley, basil), mixed it with a storebough sphaghetti sauce and had that over wholewheat spaghetti. Yum! It's simple and you can throw in whatever vegetables happen to be cheap.
Last night I did similar to have over brown rice today at work (I put things in ziplocs and freeze them to take in). I made a lenti-based stew with pumpkin (was on sale! these are small Japanese-style pumpkins but they taste the same as the big ones) with onion, spinach (using it up), asparagus (also on sale!), boiled all that together till everything was soft along with white and regular pepper, lots of thyme and a touch of marjoram. (I love using all sorts of spices) and it is good! I had a taste while I was packaging it and I am looking forward to lunch today! Doing this and knowing I'm going to have something yummy to look forward to means I can "wait!" and not graze, graze, nibble, nibble. So, that's my report. Sorry for the detail but I thought it could be of some help for someone.

Tanzie -- hope your barbeque was fun. But, were you able to eat at all, having to go to your class? How long have you been doing karate? Stay away from those honeybuns! They are packed with empty calories and just plain old calories! I used to walk 90 minutes to work (fast!) every morning and afterward I'd have a danish. The weight didn't budge. Then I stopped eating that danish and I lost weight. Guess, just when I could have been eating away at the fat stores I was filling up with instantly accessible sugar and white flour so my body didn't have to touch the reserves! I see you're in Mississippi. Never been there myself. How is it? Have you been there all your life?

Apple -- junky cereal, huh?! that used to be my downfall, well, one of them. Keep the beer out of the house! I am cutting it out as well until I start seeing some major changes (downward!) in my body. I haven't been drinking at home for years but the afterwork guzzling has become an all-too-common occurrence these days, expensive, calorie-packed and ruins the next day. And, don't mean to be tough here, Apple, but 60 situps probably burns just a mouthful of beer, unless you're doing them just as punishment! :lol: Be careful, the alcohol goes right to your midsection! I know!!

jolly -- a challenge might be nice. I think the goals will have to be individual though or at least something general so that we can tailor them. Hmm. I can think of a few for myself. What about something from now until May? Then do something else for may, too? Anything, really. Your water idea is good. I do the same in the sweltering summer months here though I have absolutely no problem guzzling water. I am losing tons of it in sweat. At work, I will put a 2-liter bottle in the freezer and take it out (when I don't forget!) just when it's slushy and drink that. I love it! Some people say it's bad for your stomach but mine must be like iron! No prob! Good for you for running. That's not a small step. It's big, I think. I like your advice to Derry and, as always, I love your humor (earlier post). Best of luck.

Derry -- You're right. We have these goals and we have to get to them. Too many excuses are no good. Yes, life is very tough for you now. You ARE doing well in the morning, though, right? I would try to look at the whole day though. Onion rings may not be such a bad thing at all if you've been eating well and exercising at other times. Think of your day as a work of art. A bit of indulgence can enhance the picture. Don't focus on that and think it mars the entire look. You may be being too hard on yourself. Like jolly says, too, these are hard times for you and you could be doing soooo much worse so tailor your goals to the times and see if you can't go from there. I find that when I set my sights a little lower than normal I feel freer to try harder, because I don't have to. Like, when I put the pedometer on and say, OK, 10,000 steps, I'm more likely to make it 12 or 14 thou easily. But if I would strap it on and say, go for 15,000 I'd likely not make it or make it and then not do anything the next day. Hang in there. You still well less than I do!

04-15-2005, 12:36 AM
Red, congrats on the good going day yesterday. Your food sounded great and thanks for the particulars. I'm always looking for suggestions and ideas. I have to start learning how to cook with pumpkin - I've seen alot of great recipes. Trouble is, we only get it here fresh in October around halloween. I suppose I could do the canned stuff but it's just not the same and I try to do fresh as much as possible so I can control the salt and sugar, etc.

Derry, I know that it's hard to resist the food given the current situation and so easy to fall into bad patterns right now. So how about if you have to order onion rings, only eat half of them and divy them up as soon as the waitress brings them. If you had one bad item for the day, that's the limit so it will make you think about whether you really wanted whatever at the moment. Hang in there. Be healthy for those around you that need you!

So how was dinner on the grill Tanzie? My favorite kind of cooking. Apple - junky cereal, eh? I had to laugh when I took a close look at the boxes and noticed they removed the word "Sugar" from some of the old standards - like Sugar Pops are now Corn Pops and I'm not even sure what they call Sugar Crisp any more. Like changing the name changed the calorie content. But boy oh boy - could I scarf down a bowl of Sugar Pops right now. :lol: Good thing they aren't in the house and tho there might be a box lurking in the cabinet, I'm not going to check!

Jolly, I can't tell you how many bottles I froze forgetting I put them in the freezer. But yours is a good idea. I myself like the mini challenge idea as short term committement is the best i can handle at the moment. And that's precisely what I'm doing - a week's worth of getting my water in which means water at dinner too. Reinforce the good stuff, undo the bad habits. I am always open for a good challenge tho...

04-15-2005, 07:04 AM
OK. So start with a challenge, say starting Monday until the end of April? I know I need a little time to figure out which of my problem areas I want to focus on first. And what reward I will give myself for succeeding. Hmmmmm. Lets see . . .

I am (hopefully) off to the gym. Have a great day all.

04-15-2005, 08:28 AM
Hi guys, ah, heck, didn't go so well today. Going into the office always does that for me. I had too much junk! :cry: But, I did have that nice lunch and it did make me feel very well fed! And, I did walk a lot so I guess it wasn't all lost. Still. . .if I just hadn't eaten so much maybe I would see some progress.... :ziplip: oh, when will I get it all together. . . :shrug:

Happy, pumpkin here is more or less around all year so it is a possibility. The only thing is that pumpkin is a warming food and really heats you up. I don't think I could eat in the summer when it's just tooooo hot! That said, you probably don't live in such a hot place, well, Tenn. is pretty hot, but I doubt like Tokyo. Anyhow, I think you should try the canned pumpkin. It may be better than you think. Do they have any frozen pumpkin? They do here but . . . :sumo: OK, good going on your water challenge. Whatever it is you need to work on, that's a challenge for you. Good luck. :yes:

Jolly, I'll join you of course. Have to think too what I'll do. :chin:


04-15-2005, 10:41 AM
I have decided that there are so many things that I need to work on, I am just going to give myself a huge kick in the rear, and say my goal is to lose 4 pounds by the end of the month. I can do this. Then, I can look at individual behaviors I want to change or improve for May. My reward if I lose the pounds will be . . . flowers. I haven't bought myself flowers in awhile, so that would be a nice treat.

Have a great day all.

04-15-2005, 10:25 PM
Hey all. just posting quick so we don't get buried on the next page. Hope everyone is having a good day. Enjoy the weekend!

04-16-2005, 01:38 AM
A little bright spot finally for me. I got a call from the agency today and I start a temp to perm job on Monday. The pay is *really* low, but like I told them, any money is better than no money. It will pay my horse feed, pay for my kids feed ;) and get me more hoof care training. Really, that's about all I care about right now.

Started my period this morning, and between the stress, anxiety, and that - I'm whipped. I didn't run today or yesterday, so I guess I need to pick up the ball I've dropped and run tomorrow.

V designed my new business cards for me, and I printed them out today. I'll start distributing them ASAP. I figure I need 20 horses a week before I can quit and make the same amount I'd be making at this job. I've attached the card layout.. I think she did a really good job.

So my challenge to myself? *chuckle* Honestly I think just putting one foot in front of the other for the last couple months has been enough of a challenge for me. Right now I just want to see if I can get through my running three times a week and that's enough.

I hope everyone is having a great night.

04-16-2005, 03:54 AM
Looks great, Rave. Heh to V. Best of luck!

04-16-2005, 12:18 PM
Ok chickies, the sun is shining, I got up early (8am on a weekend IS early for me) :yawn: :lol: and there's alot to do and be done. I'm feeling pumped. Last weekend I had an excess of salt and it took all week and alot of water to get all that bloat out. Even just 2 pounds makes a big difference.

I have a long list of things that I will get done this weekend, most definitely. Next Friday I'm flying back to pick up my mom and bring her back here for a week. Will spend the weekend there and I already admit that I will SIN with pizza :devil: There's no place like Chicago for pizza. :T So I will have to work extra hard this week to earn that pizza.

A good weekend to all, get busy, drink your water, eat well and feel good about yourselves...


And I love the business card Raven, your daughter is REALLY REALLY talented - she should look into doing web designs.

04-16-2005, 12:53 PM
Hey girls!

Just a quick note before the weekend completely swallows me up.

Red- The chicken was really good. I'd been craving it for ages and it lived up to what I was pine'in after. I actually didn't get to eat any until almost 9 pm. I know eating so late is awful for you, but I only had the meat, so I don't feel quite so bad about it. I've been taking Shotokan for 2 years, and I love it. It's good for taking out my aggressions and otherwise working off some steam. Not to mention the fact that it works my butt off. I'm a lot more confident now than when I started. As for Mississippi, I love it. The pace of life here is much slower than the other states I've lived. We live in the middle of 40 acres. I was born here, then moved off with my hubby after he finished school. We moved back about 3 years ago, due to family illness (His father had ALS.). Hubby works out of an office we had built over the barn. The Internet is a wonderful thing. :D

happy-- I can totally see what you're saying about the cereal. My favorite is 'Captain Crunch'. I could eat a whole box of that stuff! I haven't let myself buy any in ages though. It's not just the fact that I eat it. It's the fact that by the time I get a bowl, and the kids get some, the box is pretty much wiped out. And cereal is expensive!

jolly-- I'm seriously contemplating what my mini-challenge will be... There are so many things I need to work on. The 4 lbs by May thing sounds great. How'd the trip to the gym go?

raven-- Congrats on the job! I know that it's a load off you're shoulders. You're training to be a farrier? Or something more specialized? Have you been apprenticing? or taking courses? I'm not too knowledgeable about the process.. I know there are schools.... Anyway, too bad you aren't closer
we have 2 pasos, a walker and an appy, that all need their feet worked on. Dh trims them himself, but he doesn't really have the time to keep them up the way I'd like them to be..

Take care!

04-16-2005, 05:52 PM
Heyos folks... :)

Happy, thank you so much. V does seem to have that artistic, imaginative twist to her. God knows where she got it from, certainly not her father or me! And the sun! Yes!! Finally it's sunny and warm and ... *closes eyes in bliss* :D A week with mom sounds absolutely heavenly. I hope you enjoy it.

Tanzie - My kids and I did TKD for about 2 years. We loved it, but the school closed, we moved, and I just haven't found any instructors over here who could measure up. Plus I think my son would enjoy aikido more. My daughter and I have tossed around going into kickboxing more than once - but that takes a gym membership around here, and I can't afford that. I am enrolled in a certification program through the AANHCP (American Association of Natural Hoofcare Practitioners), but my training got a bit stalled when the money went away. I've been doing my own horses for about a year now. I've studied with Jaime Jackson and Cindy Sullivan, and I hope to be able to mentor with Pete Ramey and a few other folks this year. I need to get my Practitioner in Training status before they'll put me on their site, and I won't be able to do that till after I can complete the hoof anatomy test - since the classes are full till September, that's the soonest I can get listed by the Association. I'm a huge advocate of barefooting, especially after I've seen the amazing changes in our appendix mare, not just her feet, but her whole body. I suppose it makes sense, in people if our feet and legs are messed up, we feel pain in so many places. Why wouldn't a horse? Anyway.. I don't mean to rant. :D I just have found my passion, and it's hard not to go on and on about it. I'm very much the odd man out just about wherever I go, between my barefooting and the conditioned response training we do. People think we're loons. *sigh* But we're loons who love our horses!!!

I've been thinking about starting a thread for horse people trying to lose weight so we can all ramble on about our equines without putting the other people on the thread to sleep. :D

Anyway.. today is my son's BD celebration. His birthday is officially Monday, and since I'm going to be working then, we figured we'd just do it today. I'm making a peanut butter and chocolate cake, my boyfriend is treating us out to dinner at our favorite mexican dive, and he has some presents to open from his Dad. I had absolutely no money with which to buy presents, but I told him as soon as I get my first paycheck (two weeks) I'd buy him something cool. Thank goodness he's fine with that. I'm not fine with it... I feel like such a loser sometimes, but .. what can I do, yaknow? So I guess the upshot of all of this is .. I blew off today and spent it lollygagging around with my daughter and the horses. It was so beautiful and being able to groom them out (Arashi is STILL a phoofball of fuzz! Poohead) and V just hopped up on Shadow - no bridle, halter, saddle, anything... just .. hop up and hang out - it was just very peaceful. And sweet little Princess Eve. What a doll that horse is. I just love her to pieces. Yeah. So .. I'll run tomorrow. *nod nod* :D :D :D

04-16-2005, 08:20 PM
Hi all. I just got back from the horse fair. Was able to find the things I wanted to get there, stay (pretty much) within my budget, not go too crazy on the food (had a chili cheese baked potato and some sugar roasted almonds - this is great compared to all the food offerings they have), did not spend on stuff that wasn't on the list, and even managed to bypass some chocolate on the way home. A good day.

I bought some new running shoes too. They are supposed to be great motion control. I will try in the morning. I was going to run this morning, but had a very sore ankly. I figured all the walking today was good exercise.

Raven, CONGRATS on the job. At least it will see you through until you can get that certification. I like the business cards too.

Everyone, have a super weekend and enjoy the weather!

04-16-2005, 09:04 PM
Good morning, hi to all. Glad to see some action here. Thanks, jolly, for keeping the thread bumped up with your quickies! I had a good day yesterday with exercise and a somewhat good one eating. I am tired and I think it's mostly from the increase in exercise that I am forcing onto my body. Hurrah! My legs are being more cooperative (they were going numb and that is the main reason I was blowing off the cardio). Last year in September they were bad. Now, not so. They feel light again and that makes me want to walk and jog. I am on that coolrunning program (don't know if it was Raven or jolly who first mentioned it, I read it on Raven's post, just want to give credit where due) and finished the first wee of the couch to 5K program. Rave, are you posting on that? I'm freefall59 on that site. Today is a big race I have to/want to go to so I blew off work yesterday and went riding (normally I'd ride today). Rode alone and it was so much nicer. I can communicate with the horse more and feel she doesn't resent the demands like she does when I'm in a lesson, which is like a drill sergeant, my teacher, that is.

Well, don't know about any immediate goal til May. I will start one though tomorrow so hold me accountable, kay guys?!

As for a bigger one, I'm off the white sugar again and alcohol too! until I get under 70 kg. My weight keeps creeping up and it disgusts me and though I didn't lose anything off sugar for Lent I don't care. The nights out with the guys constitute a ton of calories from beer and that certainly didn't help, although they weren't all that often. But I'm thinking, NO! how can I sit here "rewarding" myself, indulging myself with sugar and alcohol (even if I were to keep the calories low) and feel like I'm at all deserving. Sorry, honey, the crap is getting cut til you shape up! So, NO sugar, no alcohol until the scale dips under 70. Right now, it's about a whopping 75 so that's a good 12 lbs! Cut the crap! This is my slogan from here on out to 70!

jolly -- glad to hear the horse fair was fun and you didn't pig out. great chocolate save too. Nice on the new shoes too. Are you doing the coolrunning thing?

Raven -- you loon, you! Yeah, you may be a loon (all is relative! ;) ) but you ain't no loser, so no sense feeling that way. Presents, come on, your kid should be happy to see you happy and I'm sure he is. He's not a child, right and presents, really, are for children or when you have an excess of cash and nowhere to go with it! I'm sure anyone in his or her right mind understands that. He does, do you!? Hope you had fun on the birthday celebration day, don't overdo with that cake. Mexican sounds fun.

Tanzie -- how are you? Glad the chicken was good and you're enjoying your karate. 40 acres, wow, sounds like paradise, four horses was it? Do you have an arena or ring? Do you ride Western?

happy -- good to hear you're feeling pumped! Yeah! :sunny: Chicago, never been there, but I hear the pizza is great. That's the deep-dish kind, right? Hope you enjoy your stay with your mother. Good luck with your list. Take care and work for that pizza!

04-17-2005, 10:21 AM
Hey all. Raven, hope the dinner went well. You are not a loser - except for losing weight that is. You spend quality time iwth your kids. YOu give of yourself. And I am sure they understand the situation right now. I am glad you had time to spend with your daughter and hte horses yesterday.

I did not get a chance ot try out my new shoes yet. I woke up this morning still sore from all the walking yesterday. I will do it Tuesday morning though. next scheduled day. I am not doing the coolrunning program. I am doing an old "10 weeks to your first 5k" program from Runner's World. Did it several years ago, and was actually able to do two 5k races.

Have a great day all.

04-17-2005, 06:32 PM
I've been a slug.

Jolly - I think the programs are probably very similar. 10 weeks, couch potato to 5k.

Red - I overdid it. :)

Well I was motivated for a day or two.

I start my job tomorrow. Maybe with that will come some more inspiration. Gotta run, V is hollering for me. Looks like Ursa got stung by a bee. Does it ever end?

04-17-2005, 06:38 PM
Hi jolly, Raven! Raven, what did you overdo? the running? I'm looking forward to the second week of the program. Of course, it's still super easy but mentally I need the ease to do just that, ease back in to running. The pedometer has helped me a lot too. Raven, do you get much walking in? Do you have a pedometer?

Well, going to try to get some walking in before going in to the dreaded office this morning. Ciao!

Oh, yes, yesterday was successful in staying off the sugar and away from the beer. After a race is always a cue for me to drink with friends, although May will be ****, as they really (truly) try to force it on me. I don't think there's a way in heaven I'll be 5 kgs less before June, but it is an incentive. Funny, how the moment I said I'd give up sugar and beer I started wanting it, but it's pyschological, so a little resolve and I got by the whinings.


04-17-2005, 09:12 PM
Hey, y'all. Congrats on successes, good luck with getting back on track.

I did not make it to the gym today. I spent the afternoon between my barn and my friends. Had a very nice ride. I am working on a plan to get him fine tuned and ring ready. I just hope to be able to work out tomorrow. I was changing clothes on my way to the barn from church (yes, in the car. yes, while driving) Anyway, I did the little hip bump to get my jeans on, and threw out my lower back. Fun, fun, fun -NOT. I do have to report two mini saves today, though. One, I was really hungry for ice cream or some other junk tonight. i was going to go to Dairy Queen and get two blizzards (hey, I have a buy one get one coupon - it would be criminal not to use it!) I stopped by the grocery store instead. Grabbed a half gallon of ice cream. I walked up to the cash register, turned around, went back to the freezer case, left the ice cream, adn grabbed a single serving snickers bar. Also, I managed to stop myself before eating my body weight in the tacos I made for supper (should be 3 dinners worth). So, I guess I am slowing down. Still not making perfect choices, but at least able to steer away from the worst choices.

Have a good evening all.

04-18-2005, 08:40 AM
Jolly, you are so funny!! "eating your body weight in tacos!!" :rofl: Great, great save you had there!! That was amazing. And, give those blizzard coupons away!! or let them flush accidentally down the commode!

I had a very good day. Lots of walking, was up early, cooked my lunch and brought it in. I almost forgot, honestly, that I had given up sugar and was about to "treat" myself (there's that idiotic concept again!) to a big chocolate bar, when I remembered, NO SUGAR, sweetheart! So, I had fresh pineapple with plain yogurt over it. The pineapple is so sweet the yogurt tastes fine with no sugar in it! Hurrah!!

Now, I just have to do this over and over and over and over . . . :flow1:

04-18-2005, 09:07 AM
This is for my mini goal: (

04-18-2005, 09:55 AM
Good morning all. I am feeling pretty low today. My back was still very sore this morning, so I was unable to work out. Unless there is a miracle today, I won't be able to jog tomorrow. I feel like my body has betrayed me, but even worse is to realize I first betrayed my body, by not eating and exercising right. I am hurting because I don't take care of myself properly. . . . And even realizing this, I so want to "comfort" myself with food this morning. Like a HUGE chocolate bar (that I probably couldn't even lift) would solve anything . . . .

Here's to us, and finding some light at the end of the tunnel.

04-18-2005, 09:57 AM
Hey guys,

I've had a bummer weekend. All this excerise and water and I was up 3 pounds when I climbed on the scales last night. :?: Good news is that instead of lettng it depress me and reaching for the goodies, I got up this morning and did the first cp to 5K workout. And that's saying something for me-- since as I said before, I'm not really a runner. (I'm flat footed.) Hopefully though, if I take it slow, I won't get shin splints, ect.

Dh added another stall to the barn Sat. It looks good, and we were really pinched for stabling room. We've got one more to go before we'll be where we need to be stallwise.

red-- Good for you on the no sugar no alchohol resolve! How's it coming? Seems like everything in the store now days has sugar of some form or other in it. *blerg* As for the horses, we ride western, and we don't have what I'd formally call an arena, but we do have a round pen.. does that count? *g*

raven-- We keep our horses barefoot too. It's so much better for them. Sounds like you've pretty much got your ducks in a row as far as your training goes. It's great that you'll be able to do something you love so much for a living once you get finished!

jolly-- *ouch* on the back! And congrats on the save! I've done that a few times myself. I'll pick something up, walk around with it, then get to feeling just so darn guilty, I'll put it back on the nearest shelf. I just know the stockers in our local WallyWorld hates to see me coming. I leave a trail of misplaced junkfood behind me wherever I go. :lol:

Anyway, I've done my walking for the day, and now it's time to start working on the house.

You guys have a good one!

04-18-2005, 10:02 AM
Sorry to hear you're feeling down in the mouth this morning. Back pain can be so debilitating. Hopefully, it won't keep you laid up for long. Just take it easy today, and do what you can do without pushing it. It'll all come back together, girly.

Take care of yourself,

04-18-2005, 05:03 PM
Tanzie -- don't get down about the numbers on the scale. Exercise really shakes up the body and the scale does crazy things. If you've really been eating well, and not overeating, you will have lost fat and your clothes will be getting looser. That is really what matters. Of course, you'll see weight loss eventually, unless, of course, you don't have that much to lose. Just keep it up. That was great that you did the running despite your disappointment!

Jolly -- hope you feel better. Like Tanz say, pain is a major downer. Don't make things worse by eating junk! Hang in there!

04-18-2005, 06:23 PM
Just got back from Walmart, where I loaded up on fruits, salad fixings and whole wheat stuff. (yeah, I'm *tootin* my own horn since I really really really wanted some totally bad for you sweets.) :o

I'm going to a plant swap this evening, and there's going to be tons of food on my 'no no' list. It'll be hard, but I'm going to "Endeavor to persevere." :cool:

I'll holler at you ladies in the morning; I hope you all have a great evening!

Apple Blossom
04-18-2005, 06:44 PM
Well today is Monday and we get to start over on Monday's, right?
I was doing OK until I went out Fri night and over indulged. Then I felt lousy on Sat and that mentally carried over to Sun and here we are. Already in bad shape because I had a latte and a cookie. :cookie:
And I had to run an errand this morning so no walk either. I will so my stepping and have a salad for dinner. And some sit ups. I realize that 60 sit ups won't burn off a beer, but yes, it works as punishment. Ouch. No beer for a week at least. I finally got one of these ticker thingys and I want it to move!
Hope everyone elses Monday is going well!
By the way, I don't mind reading about all the horses! They are magnificent creatures. I was a horse girl growing up, although I've never owned one and probably never will, I used to dream about it!

04-18-2005, 06:54 PM
Hi everyone. I'm back again. Still not doing well, but I hope to be back on track a bit more over the next few days. I am totally to blame, I guess? My dad is starting radiation treatments on Thursday and the situation is very much worrying me. He's 82, after all, and bone cancer is very painful. I hope he doesn't suffer greatly, this really isn't fun.
I've been terrible with my eating and I took note, when I got on my own scale (the one that usually weighs 3 pounds less than the ww scale) that it was reading 150 this morning. I plan on going to my ww meeting tomorrow and I'm just plain embarrassed about getting weighed in. But, I hope that doesn't stop me and that I "take the bullet" and maybe the final shock of the added weight will suddenly thrust me back into being on program?
DH's birthday is Thursday, this means cake and we are going to my in-laws this weekend and this means MORE cake and treats. What is a ww gal to do?
Well, first thing is that I need to exercise and do the best I can to stay on track better when it is NOT a birthday and NOT the weekend away, right?
My jeans that were loose feel tight again.
So, help me guys, help me get back on track again.

04-19-2005, 12:58 AM
Linda, now don't go beating yourself up. Ok, so you fell off the wagon - HARD. It HAS been a stressful time for you. Now it's time to turn the tide again. Little baby steps. Can you start by walking with someone - DH, a friend, someone with a sympathetic ear and talk out your worries and frustrations? It would be therapeudic on all counts, believe me.

As for the upcoming cake - apply the 3 bite rule. Have 3 bites of whatever they are serving and just 3 bites. Savor them, make them count but have them and after 3, you are done. If you have to fib a bit, excuse yourself with "I've been having some sensitivity to sugar lately, the cake was delicious but my teeth said no more" and give a bit of a grimace if you need to add some emphasis. And put the plate down and go get some water. Promise yourself that much, ok? And maybe you pass on something you'd grab quick in a crave and instead chose something that is maybe not as quick and tasty but is good for you in the long run. Do this as a mental show of support for your dad who is also having to deal with things he probably would rather not be doing. Many times we'll do for others what we won't do for ourselves. Why??? I couldn't even begin to explain. But if every little sacrifice you make over the next 2 weeks sends some strength his way, you'd stick with it, wouldn't you?

Apple, the way I look at it is 60 sit ups is better than a night with no sit ups at all. And if you can do 60 sit ups every night for 13 days in a row, you've formed a new, healthy habit.

ok, so I have to post now so I can look back one page and check the other posts. :rolleyes: Alright, back again. Thumbs up to Tanzie and Red for the food saves and passing up the bad stuff. Raven I hope you would able to do more than just hold it together today. Good luck on the new job too.

Jolly you are right, chocolate won't solve anything and the sugar will make your aches feel worse. Best to take a hot shower / bath and a nice slow walk to stretch out the pains.

I spent all day Saturday out on the lawn planting flowers. And I realized how embarassing it is to be so big and bulky. I can't move well, certainly can't kneel for any length of time and oh boy on Sunday when I woke up - mega pain in the back and the legs. And I've been catching sight of myself in the mirrors in the house or reflections in windows. You know those off guard passings where your eyes don't have a chance to veil over and you can see yourself as you REALLY ARE. :yikes: Jabba the hutt has taken over my body because that's what I sure feel like. I have this great pool and I don't even know if any of my swimsuits will fit. And I keep saying I will change, I will do something and week after week, month after month, nothing really changes. I found old notes in my purse from measurements taken over the last 18 months from days when I thought I was at my worst and now those same measurements would designate success. So that's what I thought about today. I was tempted many times but I resisted. And I'm going to try very, very hard to do the same tomorrow. Maybe it's skipping that Coke or extra pat of butter. Maybe it's taking a 15 minute walk at lunch or a 30 minute after dinner walk. Maybe it's just getting on the floor and doing those crunches the minute I think about them. And it's alot about drinking that water.

The one positive thing I can say is that as of tomorrow, I have made it one year not smoking. Boy did that year fly even if each and every day I still would love to have a cigarette if I could. I need to remember this - if I can give up cigarettes, I can do anything.

Have a good one tomorrow, make it count...

04-19-2005, 11:04 AM
Hey ya Apple-- Good deal on the situps! 60's a good round number, and it's good for ya. To repeat what happy said, even a little excercise is better than none! You do step aerobics? I used to, back in my younger, fitter days. *ahem*

Good to hear from you derry-- You and your family have been in my thoughts. It's okay, if you fell off the wagon. To quote 'Gone With The Wind' "Tomorrow is another day..." So, what if you stumble from time to time-- we all do. Just take a deep breath and pull yourself back up by the bootstraps. You can do it!

And LOL at you and the Jabba The Hutt thing, happy. I know exactly where you are coming from. :lol: Except I'm always suprised/horrified/disgusted/dismayed/embarrassed/ect, ect, ect by photos of myself. :eek: I absolutely HATE to have my picture taken. :sigh: I'm hoping to change that though.

Anyway, I came out with some pretty good loot last night at the swap. I ended up with a really pretty japanese red maple and a pretty hanging basket.

I've also decided to go back to counting points, which means I've started writing down what goes into my mouth again. I didn't run today, but I alternated walking fast, and walking faster. I did something to my heel yesterday morning and it seems to be deeply bruised. Anyway, I'm giving it the day to recover, and I'll try running again tomorrow.

Ya'll take care!

Apple Blossom
04-19-2005, 02:13 PM
Yesterday was not a great eating day, although I did have a salad for dinner. I had a bowl of granola later in the evening. If I could stop the evening munches I would be very pleased. I RESOLVE NOT TO MUNCH TONIGHT!!! One day at a time, right? I did do the stepping and the sit ups and it actually felt really good. The step video I have is pretty old, I think it is one of the first Reebok videos. I purchased it by reading reviews on Amazon and this one was popular.(I've bought some dud videos in the past) I like it because it gets my arms moving. I have never done more than 20 minutes of it either. Maybe some day, but I prefer to exercise outside and actually moving; change of scenery, fresh air. Oh but I'm so out of shape.
See you later!
By the way Derry, we're all behind you! Difficult and emotional circumstances make every thing harder. Be forgiving of yourself and then get back to it!! Try to post everyday, even if it's just to say hi.

04-19-2005, 07:57 PM
Happy - I've been going through much of the same thing as you. Knowing what I need to do, wanting to do it, but not. Days, weeks, months go by.

This is what I wrote while I was at work today...

Hey chicks.

Just wanted to write some stuff out while I was thinking about it here at work, but don't feel like posting directly from here. Getting kind of paranoid lately.

Got off work last night and couldn't go to the store because of lack of money. Don't get paid for two weeks, so R is going to have to help out till then. Caved and ordered pizza last night, not because I wanted it, but because it was the only thing deliverable and I was NOT leaving the house again after I'd changed into my comfy clothes. Allergies are hitting and last night was a bad one. Pollen count is entirely too high.

So anyway, have money today (thank you R :D ) and will be hitting the store tonight. Woke up feeling totally crappy because of the junk I've been eating and lack of water intake. Sick of eating garbage, sick of feeling puny, sick of feeling bloated and tired and ... bleh.

Made sure I brought my oatmeal to work with me today, and I've already started drinking my water again. I may give myself this week just to get used to getting up in the wee hours again, get back to working, then next week start my Couch to 5K again. Today for lunch I'm going to try to find a grocery store and stock up on the lean cuisines, some fruit, yogurt, etc.

So far the job is going really well. I can't remember what I've written - I may rewrite this when I get home. :D They let me wear my jeans, they don't care about my tat or my piercings, and the hours are great. It's fairly close to home, I just need to find a better route than using the interstate. They seem happy with me so far. I guess I'm feeling the once burned (twice, thrice?) twice shy effect. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. It would be awesome if it paid a little more, but at this point any money is good money.

At least knowing I have some income is helping me mentally. I was seriously reaching the panic point.

So yes, I did buy the healthy food, and yes, I ate the healthy food and honestly, I enjoyed it. Dinner tonight was roast chicken and salad. And I loved it. I am thoroughly sick of fast food, chinese food, pizza, and other assorted crap. Of course I can never get sick of chocolate, but that really isn't my downfall anyway, junk food is.

04-19-2005, 08:00 PM
Heh Raven, just saw you posted! I know where you were with the panic about money. I have been there many times, with no money that is. Somehow though, I don't know if it's just stupidity or what, but I never panicked. I have been down about it though and the lack of money can weigh on you something horrible.

I think you have to remember that your choices as far as work and things go are about something bigger than what's in front of you right now. I don't know if you do, but don't go comparing yourself to others, which is probably about 95 percent of the people you encounter in your immediate circle. Like me, if I didn't have my riding passion and desire to get good by taking so much first-rate instruction, I would have loads of money. The need to get to the horse, to pay for everything, all these are factors that limit me when it comes to accepting jobs. I refuse to accept something that will sacrifice my dreams. These are not things that can be put on hold and why would I? Like I often say, tomorrow is not promised us.

Don't think of yourself as having been "burned," Rave. It's just life, it's full of hard times. Get through them. Look them in the face, and don't let them beat you down. You are much stronger than anything that life can throw you. You have to believe that and be proud of it.

Derry, you too, I'm all for one to say, don't get down about your recent poor eating etc, take it easy, you have a lot on your plate (good pun but NOT intended!! :lol: ) But I'm not one for eternally putting off the things we want to do and, for you, obviously, since it bothers you, one of the things you want desperately to do is to get the body you want. I tend to be too much of a perfectionist but I'm not giving up. Derry, change your diva name to something reminiscent of a pit bull and don't let go! Hang in there with your teeth and shake those bad habits out of your life!!

Others, a big hello! I will try to write more later. Am busy on last-minute work here!

And heh, look guys!! My weight tracker is moving! That's 74.2 kg this morning. Yowza!! I have lost .8 kg and that's like 2 lbs. I have been stuffing myself with fresh vegetables a la McDougall. Bought a big bag of them yesterday and was crunching celery as I walked home. Giant salad at lunch, dinner was a colorful array of fresh vegetables again over whole-wheat pasta. This is going to be one of my mainstays. My indulgence was fresh pineapple with plain (unsweetened) yogurt over it. Since McDougall is all about only eating veggies and grains, I feel like it is a major indulgence when I have a bit of bread or dairy. I've been thinking about what they say in that to change your body you have three choices; 1) cut WAY down on food, 2) exercise like a nut or 3) CHANGE what you eat. Well, I'm going for the third one, which I have done before. It is hard but it really works and I have tons of energy and my skin is starting to glow again! Check out the McDougall site. It's full of recipes. Of course, since I'm a vegetarian and often vegan, it's a lot easier for me, but still, you might want to give it a try.

04-19-2005, 08:25 PM
Hey all. Feeling seriously low tonight. I guess "unfulfilled" is the right word. I know I have many, many blessings to count. I just look at my life and think "is this it?" I am 34 years old. Single, with no relief in sight. I like my job, but am seriously bored, and it is really looking like that is not going to change like I hoped. I am not doing anything to change my health/looks/etc. I have had a life long goal of showing horses, and that is just not getting there. I keep sabotaging my efforts whenever I get close. I feel like a failure. Why??? I don't even know what I want anymore. I just hate how much of a misfit I feel right now.

Sorry for not replying to everyone. Add self centeredness to my crimes.

04-19-2005, 08:57 PM
jollygirl!! What is it with you today?!?! Come on now, get off the floor. What you doing down there, anyhow?! Let's see, from what I've been reading, I don't see a failure. I see someone who has been doing great things to bring about change, to put discipline into her life and who HAS done just that! Well, now, 34 years is just not going to crack it with me, young chick. I'll be 46 this August and I don't feel old (except when I hang out too much with the guys at work who tend to be around 28! :lol: ) And if things are not "looking like they'll change" then how about changing them yourself? I mean, really, who are you waiting for to change them for you? :shrug: I don't know, you ARE doing something to change your look and if you sabotage what you are doing when you get close, then perhaps it's just because you're afraid of change. Nothing unusual there. Most people are and don't even know it, and they NEVER make any attempt to change. They never get close enough to sabotage things. You are getting close, over and over again, so you're still WAY ahead of the game. And look, if you do have other goals with, say, horses and such, then start working toward them. I DO know the feeling of "unfulfilled" but damn, jolly, use that feeling to light that fire in your gut! How can you like your job and yet be seriously bored. Don't confuse "liking" with "coasting." If your job is a means to an end and you can't find an alternative, that's one thing, but it doesn't mean you have to like it. I HATE, absolutely HATE proofreading and editing and rewriting and translating. It sucks, BUT I do it for the money, which is for the horse, which is part of my passion! I tell people I hate the work and they think I should "do something I love. . ." yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah. You can't always DO what you love 100 percent. I am doing what I love and in order to get the money for that I have to do some things I hate. At least I'm not selling my body, but, really, what if I were, might be fun. . . I recognize that this is not ideal. Hard work and sacrificing for dreams is NOT fun. No way, that's what the word sacrifice entails.

So, come on, jolly, if you are bored, unfulfilled, shake the tail in that direction. But DON'T call yourself a failure, not after doing all the things I've read in your posts. PLEASE, if you call that a failure, then we are doomed!! :rofl:

04-20-2005, 01:28 AM
alrighty thats it..... coming out of lurk mode for a moment here. hello ladies :wave: ..... cant hide behind this screen when there are two of you hurting so badly. two that mean so very much to me.

:grouphug: Raven, Jolly, Cachee, Happy, Red, Lucky (where ever you are i know your still popping in here too), Derry ( glad your still here as well ) :grouphug:

Apple, Tanzie its been a pleasure getting to know you both as well. sorry i havent reciprocated the pleasure of you getting to know me....... i'm quite the kick in the head! :lol:

~ excellent segway ~

speaking of kicks... :s: and dusts off Ravens :drill: ~winks n grinz~ i'm keeping the thigh highs babes.......

what is going on here trashing yourselves like that??!! beating yourselves up??!! there are enough people out there in this world who would leap at the chance to berate and hurt us like that. You dont have to be one of them!! if there are two more tenacious women then you two...... i havent met them yet! you two have been thru some seriously rough stuffs.

Raven would you sit back and allow V to feel this way? Jolly, your best friend? No Way!! nuture yourselves. be as good, kind, and loving to you as you would be to them. we all know the old saying "the buck stops here" well it starts here too. it starts with you, from within. your way to hard on yourselves.

Ladies you are cared about, loved by so many online and offline. its time you started to care for and love yourself. i challenge you for the next 10 days to find the good. your going to have to look for it! but its there, i swear its there!! everyday post at least 1 good thing you could find. look for the little things, start small.

for instance its a hectic busy day, your in a hurry, deadlines due, a million things are running thru your mind.... you race towards that intersection light, your dreading it..... its the one that is always Red no matter what time you get to it..... today its Green, you get ride on thru. you then get to smile and say a silent thanks.


your out, your thoughts are wallowing. your feeling lonely..... a stranger catches your eye and smiles letting you know you are not alone in this Universe. you return the smile. you know that just for that moment you recieved a sign .... that yes you can be lonely but you are not alone.

your on your Norditrack your tired, you feel beat, listless. but you set a time and by golly your determined to do it. its just that derned clock is moving so slow. (is it moving?) minutes feel like hours, will it ever end...... your gripping the bars, you know you shouldnt but you are, legs are like lead. and just as that timer is about to go off, you adrenalin lifts, your spirits are getting high... its almost over! You use that burst and go for the extra minute! why because you can! because you overcame the worst of it. because its a little thing that will make you feel good about yourself!

dont do this for me. do it for You! do it for everyone who cares about you! for those who want to see you suceed. who need to see you alive again and relishing in that fact!! i believe in you its time you did too!

~kicking her soap box to the curb. she turns to give a few kudo's to the rest of you~

Happy i am thrilled your life has turned out so well. that you are enjoying your new job and city! Congrats on the year anni of being smoke free! now get in that pool!! :lol:

Derry sending you strength and peace doll. i am sorry your going thru so much all at one time.

Red you rock babes!! :flow2:

Cachee you will always be my Queen! ;)

Lucky a hello would be nice. if i can do it you can do it....~winks n grinz~

okies enough........ this windy wordy wenchlette has done did it again! ~laughing~


04-20-2005, 02:03 AM
Sassy!!!!! :D So great to hear from you again. No more lurking, 'k???? :nono:

04-20-2005, 02:15 AM
I know this sounds cheesy to the max but really I have found that attitude is everything. Lately I'm not thrilled with the job but... as Red said - it's pays the bills and gets me the other things in life that are important to me. And I realized that if I pout it doesn't change things a bit - just makes me dawdle more in the morning which makes me have a fight with the hubby about being late and ruins my day. It makes the day soooo long and boring if I just stare at the 4 grey cubicle walls. So the last few days I have tried to really make an effort to accept that there are trade offs in life. I have a job and it pays the bills. I go in and my first effort is to get through the morning and to lunch time. At lunch I go outside, smell the wonderful fresh air and I take a walk around the complex. We have gorgeous flowering bushes and they are past peak bloom so it won't be long before the color is gone and everything is hot and green and tropical around here so I'm trying to enjoy them while they last.
I could eat something bad for me that will only taste good for about 10 seconds and will give me acid reflux for hours on end or I can stick with what I packed for lunch and feel virtuous. That candy I look at in the machine never really tastes as good as I think it will anymore. And I come home from work and we've been taking a walk around the neighborhood before dinner. It makes dinner later but then I have to plan lighter meals which isn't that bad. At least this is the plan until I can drag myself out of bed at 5am for early morning exercise.

So that's my plan. Oh and chugging water every time I think about it. Am I Richard Simmon's enthused about this? Heck no, do you think I'm nuts :dizzy: But I had to accept that keeping a crappy attitude was getting me no where and just keeping me bummed out. So I'm trying something different. Nothing drastic, just little changes. Now if I could manage to get to bed by 11pm instead of past midnight lately...

04-20-2005, 02:16 AM
Yeah, sass, what's with the lurking anyhow!? Or did you just sense something was up with rave, jolly and derry and come looking? :lol: So, how are the Austrians reacting to the selection of Ratzinger as pope? Makes me homesick for Munich hearing all the news, seeing the Frauenkirche and all in Munich. Gotta take a visit back there soon. You get there at all, sass?

04-20-2005, 02:25 AM
Good post, happy! "Richard Simmons' enthused?!?!" I like that! :lol: Then again, I don't think he's REALLY that enthused about anything he does, it's just an act. We could do it too though and pretend we're having fun, well, I mean, make it obvious we're acting. You know, like choo choo trains and airplanes to get kids to eat! We could pretend we're kind of wacko for celery sticks or wild for vegetable juice. We SHOULD be, considering these are the things that treat us well, but. . .you know. . .

Good luck, happy, I like the sound of your attitude changes. The walking sounds good, the lighter meals. . . it must be hard having to cook for others. . keep up the good work! :yes:

04-20-2005, 02:31 AM
OH, and yes, happy, I forgot, haven't been able to read all the posts and respond to them lately, but CONGRATULATIONS on the no smoking!! :cheers: :cp: :cp: That is stupendous and much more important than the weight at this point. Give yourself a whack on the back for a major move and don't give any extra weight or the lack of a loss a second thought. You have done a far more important thing for yourself by stopping smoking!!! :bravo: BRAVO to you!!!

04-20-2005, 02:59 AM
okies that challege goes to everybody! 1 good thing a change our thinking! thats all i ask ;) my day just started but my 1 good things is the warm fuzzies i got from Red and Happy this morning! :) its started my day off Fabulously! with a smile...... thank you ladies!!

Austrians reacting to the selection of Ratzinger as pope? Makes me homesick for Munich hearing all the news, seeing the Frauenkirche and all in Munich. Gotta take a visit back there soon. You get there at all, sass?

Yes, everytime i travel!! and the germans are going to be so hard to live next to now!! :lol: geeeeeeeez ifn they didnt feel superior enough to the Austrians.. but i got a one up on the germans, I'm an American! take that you sassy sums of gums! :lol:

a headline this morning read....... "We german's are the Pope!" yeah and then you woke up! ~laughing~ sorry not bashing here, really. its a beautiful country and the people can be very nice. its more of a "Whole" mentallity........yanno. germans and austrians are separated by a common language as america is to england. ~nodnodnodnod~ and you know the small, wee rivalry we gots with the brits. ~winks n grinz~

the only promise i can make and actually keep right now is popping on and posting my 1 good thing a day.......but you gotta show me yours ifn i show you mine!! :lol:

sassy who has this wicked exhibitionist/vouyeristic streak!!

04-20-2005, 03:23 AM
Heh sassy, heh, no fair! nothing warm and fuzzy about my message to you. . . unless of course you read between the lines. ;) If you can call that your "good thing" for the day, then heck, I can say just about anything. . oh, maybe that's the idea! Smell the roses! Heh. I was a lower number on the scale this morning. Hurrah! Hurrah! OK, that's mine for today. And I'm NOT going to show you my anything, chillun!

Oh, don't worry about the Germans. They need all the pumping up they can get. I heard all the Austrian jokes when I was in Munich, and all the jokes about the Prussians, and among the Bavarians, it was the jokes about the Lower Bavarians, the Upper Bavarians, the Swabians, etc. etc. It's not just Germany, I hear this kind of clique mentality stuff from the Irish, and the English and the Australians, and yes, the Americans, (but not so bad!) 'cept for those West Coasters. . .ducking and running. . . No, really, my grandfather was from Austria, yeah, so was Hitler. . .oh well, who cares, right? I did buy a Cardinal Ratzinger fan club mug this morning from his fan club. Not for me!! For a Filipino at work who seems very pious, always has to get a pope story on the news pages. We always kid him about it.

Well, I AM very glad to see you back here sassy. We're in need of some sass. What have you been doing with yourself anyhow?! Come on, cut the suspense!

04-20-2005, 06:49 AM
Glad to see so many people here. Welcome back, Sassy. I think of your signature every time I type something wrong - UNTIE! Red, I hope the earthquake didn't effect you. Always seems to be something over there. And Happy, before I forget, please add my congrats on your anniversary. That is HUGE, and should not be ignored.

I guess "failure" is the wrong word. I just am sitting here looking at my life, and wondering what I have accomplished, what have I completed? I feel like I have nothing to say "this is me. This is what I have done." Part of it is not hearing about the job change I applied for. And yes, I DO love what I do, even if I am bored. I just want more responsibility and challenge. I believe in my company, and am pretty vested after 4 years. So it makes me sad that I might have to go elsewhere to get the chance to grow and be challenged that I need. And it makes me doubt my worth that I haven't even been considered yet. I know that maybe they are just moving slow, and haven't talked to anyone yet, but this is just where I am at right now.

My positive for the day? Getting to talk to all of you! :wave:

04-20-2005, 07:28 AM
This has to be REAL fast because I need to get to work but ...

Sassy, thank you. I'll reread that post, and respond later when I get home. Thank you for the perspective, it matters a LOT.

Jolly - I so know where you're coming from on the job front. I guess that's why I decided to make the move to something for ME, not for anyone else.

Today is another day of good eating ahead. I feel better today after eating right yesterday. Still wish the birch would stop spewing. *sigh*

I woke up thinking about Callisto this morning. I know you all must get tired of hearing this, but god I miss my puppy. I keep remembering things, like how incredibly soft the fur was under her neck, and how she really, really needed a bath as soon as the weather got warmer. Now it's warmer.. and she's not here. And all I can do is cry.

I thought about getting another dog, but I know right now all I'd want is for it to be just like Callisto, and that's not fair. So ... I wait.

Anyway... good things. I'll look for them today. Starting with being able to wear jeans to work. A very good thing, indeed. :)

04-20-2005, 05:57 PM
Hellooooo? Where did everyone go? Raven, I don't think you are crazy. There are times when I still miss my Chelsea, and she has been gone 5 years already. It is never easy.

I just had to come on and add two more good things for the day. 1) I did make it to the gym today. Only doing about a half hour right now, as I am still way sore, but at least I went. 2) I found a kickin parking spot when I got home.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

04-20-2005, 06:01 PM
Hey girls,

Like Raven's this one is going to be really fast. I'm going to apologize ahead of time for not replying indepth to earlier posts. The kids are home from school and my quiet afternoon has gone out the window.

I'll try to catch up later tonight!

Take care!

Apple Blossom
04-20-2005, 07:20 PM
Whoa I had a terrible night yesterday. The kids were just off the wall and even one of the dogs participated. My son said the f word because he spelled a word wrong (he's almost 8) ans my daughter was on some weird emotional trip where she would go from laughing hysterically to sobbing uncontrollably. If there had been beer in the house I would have had 2 or 3. I did have a hot chocolate laced with whiskey after they went to bed.
Good thing for today: There's no way it can be worse than last night.
I'm letting this loser thing roll around in my head and i've decided that I'm way too lazy, especially in the evenings. Sure taking care of 3 kids can be exhausting but there's plenty of room to kick it up a notch and get some things done. I need to clear clutter, finish the unfinished and indulge my creativity, which has been on the back burner for way too long. So I need to come up with a plan....
I didn't have time for a walk today so its stepping again tonight.
See you later.
Nice to hear from everyone. It is great to know that everyone here cares so much for each other. I am touched by it actually. Thank You!

04-20-2005, 10:54 PM
Apple, that's why I work out in the mornings. When evening comes... all I want to do is lose myself in CSI. ;)

Jolly - Thanks. I guess I'm just tired of feeling sad, you know?

Today went alright. I just keep reminding myself why I'm doing this, I keep thinking about where I'll eventually be.

Food was pretty good, if a wee bit heavy on the dessert side. Nothing disastrous, and it feels good to be eating decent food again. Starting to get used to waking up at the obscene hour of 5:15 again, and it looks like Monday will be a good kickoff for my treadmilling.

Its funny .. I kept thinking that if I could just get to working out, the food would come around. But I guess I realized that without proper fuel, my body just didn't have the energy to work out. Oh, it had the calories - but not the energy. I wasn't hydrated, I wasn't eating enough protien, the whole bit. So now that I'm eating a bit better, the energy level is slooooowwwwllllyyyy creeping back up. That will allow me to start walking, if nothing else. Then hopefully I can start refining the food more, which will add more energy, etc. etc. So .. yeah. It begins again. :)

04-21-2005, 02:24 PM
Hey girls,

Allergies... doing their best to knock me down and out.


I got up and walked this morning and then made a trip to WallyWorld. I bought a pedometer. I'll program it tonight, but I'm not going to attach it until tomorrow. I want to start my count off fresh.

Apple-- like raven, I have to make myself get up and workout early, otherwise I keep putting it off until it's too late. The kids catch the bus at 6. So once they are out the door, I put on my sneaks and head out too.

raven-- You know what you said about proper fuel is so true. It's amazing what just getting the right about of water each day will do for you. Dehydration causes fatique, and since I used to drink water very infrequently, I was always tired. Not to mention the fact that I'm liking my skin so much better now.

Anyway, great big hellos to all of you,and hopefully today is treating you better than yesterday did.

04-21-2005, 07:23 PM
Good morning, people. Hope you're all well.
Just checking in over morning coffee. Was up WAY to late chatting on the Net with a young soldier stationed in Korea.
I'm just getting in to all this chat stuff and instant messengering. It's a lot of fun. But not good for me and my busy schedule. Things gets sacrificed! Later!

04-21-2005, 07:32 PM
Hey all. Just a quick post. Not sure how I am feeling right now. I found out that my company is having someone get things "stabilized" then will "reevaluate" the resumes they received for the promotion. In a couple of months. I guess I will wait and see what happens then. Luckily, my boss is giving me some more things to take on, so I don't go stark raving mad. The problem is that I want more. I always want more. If Iget bored, I don't do my best. But I like my company. A lot.

One thing at a time, I guess.

My good thing for the day, is that I made it to the gym two days in a row. Another good thing is that I was finally able to get together with a friend for lunch, and we had the Weight Watchers shrimp salad thingie at Applebee's. Very good, and I felt good having it.

Have a great evening all.

04-21-2005, 07:42 PM
Hi everyone. Quickie post for me as tomorrow I am flying home to pick up my mom and bring her back for a week's visit. I'm so excited - PIZZA :T :T Ok, I will try and control myself. :lol: And I'm really even more excited to see my Mom and Sister... and my very talented nephew. There is an old head bangers song from the 70's by Deep Purple called "Smoke on the water". Well you ain't heard that song until you've heard it played on the TUBA. :lol3: He also played Kumbahyah but Smoke on the water had me on the floor. Perhaps I will bring hubbie's harmonica and we can do a duet. Anyway, this will be the first totally fun weekend in many, many months and I am really looking forward to it - except that it's 84 here and it's 45 in Chicago. Brrrrrrrr. Where did I hide my snuggies????

Anyway there's a ton of things to do tonight and this is traditional couch potato TV night for me so I will be multitasking big time.

I LOVE the idea of picking one good thing out of the day - that is so uplifting to the spirits. Great suggestion!!!! I drank all my water and controlled my portion at the luncheon meeting today.

Hope you all have a good weekend and I'll be back on Monday night.

04-21-2005, 07:52 PM
Have good trip, happy! Enjoy the pizza!

Apple Blossom
04-21-2005, 09:41 PM
Hey Happy- I come from a family of Tuba players! My brothers both played from elementary school on and I learned in high school. My younger brother went on to study music and has actually made a living from playing the tuba. Well, maybe not a living, but he's been paid to play. I'm hoping my kids take up the tuba too. OOM PAH!
I had 2 glasses of wine last night and it messed up my stomach, so I haven't eaten much today. I really have to be careful these days with my alcohol consumption. Even one drink can twist my stomach into knots. Except beer. Which I'm trying to stay away from. Let's see, it's been 4 days. Rah. No walk today, so I should do my video tonight. I didn't last night.
:nono:I laid around on the couch watching a movie. I saw Almost Famous. I liked it a lot. But tonight I have to get out of lazy mode and get some stuff done. I have even made myself a list.
Almost dinner time. Hmmm, whats cooking?

04-22-2005, 09:50 AM
Morning, yall. :)

Got up and walked today.. and worked out last night at the dojo. Sensei doesn't believe in using the air and it was over 80 yesterday. I sweated a gallon.

Good news for the day is that I climbed on the scales today and I'm down 4 lbs. Whoot~ :cb: That's such a booster for me. Finally, some movement in the right direction!

red-- The chatting can be fun. I've wasted wayyyyy too many hours typing away. The net's a wonderful thing, ain't it?

jolly-- Sorry to hear that things have been put on hold work-wise. Good thing is that you're staying busy and have something to tackle and focus on right now. Good for you on sticking it out with the gym too! :strong: What sort of work out do you do there? Strength training? Treadmill? Do you take classes? I used to really enjoy being able to go to the Y and work out when we lived in town.

happy-- I hope you are having a wonderful time with your mom and sis. Think about the rest of us as you snarf out on that pizza! To quote Homer Simpson "Pizza... oooOOOOOooooooo... *drool*" :doh:

apple-- Guess you could say that our family has more of a trumpet bent. Shane (dh) played trumpet and so does my son. How was the movie? That's one I've always thought I'd like to see, but have never gotten around to renting.

Hope the days great for ya!

04-22-2005, 04:15 PM
Hey guys! I'm back for a bit, but we are leaving for RI tomorrow so I might not be back until Sunday PM or Monday after this.
I did fall off the wagon, and hard, but I am trying to run behind the wagon to catch up after picking my self up off the ground. Not sure how I'll make out this weekend, but I am willing to try again, at least. I was wallowing in self pity and food for awhile, but now I am feeling stronger!
I was on my treadmill this morning for 40 minutes and have behaved myself fairly well for the last three days or so.
Take care, all, and I hope you are all ok.

04-22-2005, 07:50 PM
Hey all. Just a quick post before I get busy. I work this weekend at the part time job. Derry, I hear you on the wallowing thing. Boy do I hear you!

But, I will report my "Good" things. I made it to the gym tonight. (I was going to run this morning but am still too sore.) I went to the store to pick up a couple of things, and ONLY got the couple things I went in for. Even went through the store in such a way to avoid temptations (hard to BINGE on cleaning supplies and feminine hygiene products.) And, even though I was in one heck of a funk this morning, wondering if I made a difference, etc, I spent an hour or so with one of my favorite clients, and remembered that yes I did make a difference.

Have a WONDERFUL day everyone. Remember your own value!

04-23-2005, 08:55 AM
Well, just a quick morning post to bump us back up the threads. I will post my first good thing for the day. I was able to take my dog Justin for his first regular 1/2 mile walk since months before the surgery. Hurray! He seems to be feeling fine. Ah, relief.

I had an interesting phone call from my dad last night. He had seen something in his group this morning, that made him feel like he had been an awful father all through my growing up and that he needed to apologize for it. We talked about that for awhile, but it tied into how I was feeling. that yes, maybe my compulsive need for perfection may have triggered with a comment he made when I was little, but I had chosen to continue that way. I am not that little 8 year old anymore, I need to stop trying to please Daddy (or boss, or friends, or whomever). Weird.

Have a great day all. I hope Happy is enjoying the "wonderful" weather that has greeted her in the midwest.

04-23-2005, 09:15 AM
hi jolly, sounds like you had a good day. glad your dog is doing well.
the talk with your dad seems good too. yes, i think a lot of our wiring was formed in childhood. then again, maybe we already had the kind of personality that made us open and receptive to certain things and that's why certain comments influenced us. i'm a behavioralist, just say, do the new things and the thinking will follow.
hope everyone's well. thanks for always keeping the thread alive jolly. gotta get some shuteye. bye for now.

04-23-2005, 10:19 AM
Hey folks -

Because I can't post from work - well, I *could* but I don't trust work places anymore and I don't want anyone from there looking at my posts, I just won't - I haven't had the time to post a lot. I admit when I get home from work, I start with dinner and kid stuff right away, then the last thing I want to do is think anymore, so its usually time to watch some CSI or a movie.

So .. ok. Small progresses, the food is better, if not perfect. No real junk this week - though yesterday was the thin crust pizza from the grocery store. Hopefully next weekend I'll have a little more money with which to buy groceries, and that will mean better food choices. It's amazing how much we expect of ourselves, I think. Work full time, parent, try to figure out finances, meal planning... sometimes I'm amazed that I do as well as I do, which isn't that great.

Ok so .. I think today will be a good day to start the working out. I feel pretty good. Water was WAY down yesterday, but I can bring it back up today. In this job I have, getting away to go to the bathroom is hard. Stupid. I'm again faced with the reality that by and large, our workplaces are totally self centered and stupid. We kill ourselves for these companies, and they couldn't give a rats *** about us. *bitter gnawing at chains* Yeah. Ok, breathe Marian. :mad:

Hopefully this weekend I'll get out to the stables to take some pictures of the horse hooves and me working them to put on the website. Hopefully if someone ever does call me, I won't pee in my pants because I'm terrified I won't be able to handle it.

Jolly - I wrote you an e-mail. Do you hear echos of my post in yours?

What CAN I control?

04-23-2005, 11:46 AM
I was right, it was a good day for a workout.

These are my questions to myself.

1) Are you ready?

2) What CAN you control?

3) How many times have I come to this place?

And this one is open for interpretation, but I know what it means to me...

4) Do you still feed the animal?

I did the Couch-to-5K and then added on for a total of 3 miles. It's time to get in touch with me again.

04-23-2005, 03:33 PM
Hi all. Yeah, Raven. I wish I knew how to permanently shut up those demon voices. I am hoping to run tomorrow, but my back started hurting again. I am going to run, but I want to do it right and not hate myself afterwards.

I will spend a bit more time on your email when I get home tonight. So many thoughts.

I did make it to the gym today. Only did 30 minutes, then spent some time in the hot tub. Also made it out to ride. had a very nice ride, stuck to the basics, and didn't ask for a canter as I didn't have the muscle to back it up. A good day.

Off to work now. Take care all.

Apple Blossom
04-24-2005, 03:33 AM
Hey all. I'm going to bed, but I'm happy to report 1 pound gone! Yea!
I've been doing my sit ups but that's about it for exercise these last few days. I haven't had a beer in almost a week. Today was a good eating day calorie wise, but nutritionally... :shrug: I've been feeling really unhealthy, especially my stomach. I hope it improves. I think it's just stress.
Good night!!!

04-24-2005, 03:41 AM
:bravo: Congratulations on the loss, Apple! And moreso, great going on doing those situps and staying away from the beer! I, too, have stayed away from beer for the past week or so. It's hard, especially on Friday evenings, when everyone is heading off after work for drinks. I just headed straight home to my sad abode, where I continued to do other work. What a life. I'll be glad when these five kilos are off so I can drink again. My resolve is wavering though. . . hope you are feeling stronger!

04-24-2005, 08:21 AM
Congrats on the loss, Apple. And to both you and Red for sticking to your resolves. Way to go!

04-24-2005, 08:26 AM
Thanks, jolly! :thanks:

04-24-2005, 01:24 PM
Kind of having a slug day. I have to work at the part time job. Did not feel like squeezing in a short ride or short workout between Sunday School and work, so home I came. Spend a little time snuggling with the dogs, watching some tv, and relaxing. Oh well. Back to the gym tomorrow.

I have realized that for so long I thought the only way to be accepted or liked was by my accomplishments, that I have buried who I am under so many layers of fat, sarcasm, dry humor. I need to figure out who I really am under those layers. Not an easy task. Jolly, come out come out whoever you are . . . .

04-24-2005, 05:48 PM
Wow, jolly, opposite of me. I learned way back, accomplishments were the things that distanced people from me. I've been trying to learn to stop hiding them, putting them down, playing stupid, so people wouldn't dislike me. It seems the balance is what's needed. In short, people like people who like them, who make them feel good, don't think it's any more complicated than that.

04-25-2005, 07:28 AM
Hi everyone, just read a few of your posts and things sound about "the same" here, I guess. I know what you mean about not making posts at work, Raven, as it could be dangerous and not worth either losing your job over it or having people by spies, neither are good things.
I'm up a few pounds here, and still feel as if I am not in control, but emotionally I am doing a bit better. I have to learn, somehow, to deal with my family issues, a daughter who is totally off program and wants sugar all day and the usual things that happen in life. Kind of hard to do, but I need to pull myself together.
Today, I take my son on a college inforamtional tour and University of MA, Lowell. They supposedly have an excellment music program. I know I'll be eating out and hope we find a place where I can make good choices!
I think I'll pack an apple or banana in the car, perhaps? If we get stuck waiting around between appointments, then there will be something healthy for me, vs. finding a store and buying a chocolate bar!

04-25-2005, 01:08 PM
Hey ladies,

Having a pretty good morning so far. I hope the day has been treating you all good as well.

I slipped a little this weekend. We went out and had Mexican on Sat. And it was soooooo good. I just love that white cheese dip.. :cheese: On Sunday, I had to make an emergency trip to the vet. A friend of my son, was holding Sam (Jack Russell puppy) who managed to wriggle free. He landed hard and ended up breaking his leg. Bad news is that it broke in the growth plate. Good news is that he won't be getting much bigger, so if there is any permanent damage dealing with bone growth, it shouldn't be too much. :sigh:

I walked this morning, but didn't push it. I've got a rank test this evening. And to be perfectly honest, I'm a big nervous about it. It's a biggie. Sensei fussed at me thursday night-- said that it was time for me to quit worrying about my size. And that me worrying about what I might look like as I'm doing ABC is the only thing that's actually holding me back from doing it. I know I have a problem with body image, and yeah, I'm trying to get over it. But honestly. There I am-- kick, shuffle, jab, ect.. and what flashes through my mind? The scene in Fantasia where the hippos in tutus are mincing across the floor. *Fat woman jumping around. Fat woman jumping around.* I just wasn't comfortable. Ugh. It's ALL IN MY HEAD. Everyone else was too busy jumping themselves to pay any attention to me, and yet there I was. Fretting.

Raven, jolly, red, apple and Linda-- I'm thinking and sending many warm and encouraging thoughts your way. This struggle with weight that we're all going through is tough, some days its tougher than others. But we're strong. I'm strong. I just need to realize and remember it more often.

04-25-2005, 10:09 PM
Hidey hey folks.

I'm suffering from the good thing bad thing stuff. I worked out, did my Couch-to-5K this morning. Ate perfectly all day. Drank my water. Came home, ate my dinner - then stuffed myself with black cherry jello and cool whip. Ok, so it was lite cool whip. It just sounded SO good!! *lol* Anyway, now I'm slightly sick to my stomach. That'll teach me, huh? Probably not.

ANYWAY... I did my workout, and that's the biggest deal. Tomorrow I do pilates. I'm feeling better. My job still totally sucks, but hey - one day at a time. I have someone an hour or so away who has 4 horses and she's told me she'd love to have me practice on them. With that, I can get her testimonial on my website. There is nothing that beats happy customers, yes?

I've made a goal to lose 30 pounds by the end of July. That is how much I've gained. That is way, way sad. But it is not the end of the world, and 30 pounds by the end of July is doable. It's a challenge, no doubt about that. But it's also not the end of the world if I don't hit it dead on, but it gives me something to really shoot for.

Tanzie - I can really relate to your focusing on what you look like doing forms. I used to do the same thing. Course.. that could be one reason my sex life suffers so much, too. :o And hey .. I claimed the fantasia hippos first. ;) I swear I feel like them on a daily basis. But you know.. they're kinda cute...... :D :D :D

Derry - One thing about kids... we can't *make* them do anything. If your daughter is going to get healthy, it has to be because she wants to. I know, I'm going through the same thing with mine.

The accomplishments thing. Red, Jolly - I think I'm somewhat of a mix of both of those. ****, I'll use anything and everything to keep people away from me. Then wonder why the heck I'm always so alone. :^: I just don't know how to relate to people in general. In general, I don't even like most people. Bah. ;)

Ok, so I have the exercise getting back on track, I have the eating going in the right direction, and water is getting there. I need to work on portions now. And this weekend I'll be able to buy better foods than I've been able to in a while. That always makes a big difference, the ability to keep healthy food around instead of cheap crap.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Chachee?? Where are you? I hope you're ok.

Apple Blossom
04-25-2005, 10:49 PM
I'd like to comment on the subject of people liking/disliking. I agree mostly with Red, people like people who like them and make them feel good.(I don't think my brain is up for this in depth.) And people like to find common threads, interests, experiences. Personally, I think experience and maybe "achievements" are great as long as they don't get too self absorbsive. Ego can get in the way.
Anyway, my slightly self-absorbed brother-in-law had a birthday yesterday. We had a fun time. I had 3 beers and paid for it. My stomach has been very strange lately and I'm pretty sure it's the alcohol that ties it up into painful knots. I was feeling crummy enough that I couldn't eat dessert and I was very uncomfortable all last night. :( Slept terribly. I'm begining to wonder if it's my stomach that is causing my weight loss. I tend to think there is something drastically wrong with me when I do manage to lose a little. Well, I'm pretty sure it's the breast feeding thats causing the weight loss. And now that I'm physically unable to drink alot, that will help.
My kids are whining for dinner so I gotta run.

04-25-2005, 11:47 PM
Hey all. Sorry only time for a quick post. Job(s) have been hectic, and I don't want to post from work anymore. Trying to set a good example.

A great big hello to everyone. Raven, congrats on the guinea pigs - I mean guinea horses. That is great news. YOu will do wonderfully.

My positive thing for today is that I was craving a ton of junk food, and I was able to recognize the tapes, and head straight home without finding an excuse to stop at the store.

I will try to post more tomorrow. TAke care everyone.

04-26-2005, 08:37 AM
Tanzie, hope you do ok with the rank test. I do think that people of all sizes and shapes can do well with this kind of thing, plus the exercise and movement is so good for you! You go girl! Is it a belt or a stripe?
I need a mini goal too, perhaps I'll think about that today. I am going to my ww meeting today with no prayer of losing anything. We went away over the weekend and I was fed, a bit problem for me! Also, I didn't use much restraint when I took my son out to lunch yesterday and it was DH's birthday this week. All of this added together sounds like a gain to me. But, I am not quitting and I will go to my meeting and try to "start over" for the millionth time.
I think I am going to have to change my user id here at 3FC (only kidding) to the start over gal or something like that... I keep doing that.
I journalled last week until Friday and then lost it.... will start anew today and hopefull do better.
I am feeling like an alcaholic who has slipped and can't get back "on the wagon". I keep trying and then something happens and I fail again.
Continuing to try,
Linda in NH

04-26-2005, 05:10 PM
Hi all. Derry, I think we all feel like that from time to time. Give a shout out. There is usually someone left on the wagon to drag you back up. Or, just tie a rope on and drag behind like the rest of us :)

Exercise? Poor. Food? All I can say is I am trying.


Hear me bouncing along behind the wagon???

04-26-2005, 08:44 PM
I am the queen of starting over. I lose 30 pounds, gain some back... start over. Lose 30 pounds, gain it ALL back, start over... rinse, repeat.

Every time I get to the point where I'm not invisible anymore, I gain the weight back. My daughter did the same thing. When I said I didn't like people in general, that also translates out to a total inability to cope with attention. And if anyone dares to think that overweight people are not treated differently than their more slender counterparts... I have a nice plot of swampland to sell them. I have GOT to deal with it this time.

Jolly - I'm so sorry. I know how insanely frustrating it is to keep trying, and trying, and trying... and not do what you know you need to do. I'm slowly clawing myself back onto the wagon, but I slip too often at this point to say I'm actually on it.

Derry - Same. This year has been a hard one it seems. For a lot of people. And it's only April! My great hope is that the worst is over. For all of us, and that we can start getting on with things now.

My food was on track as far as I am taking it. A success today. I haven't started logging calories or anything yet. I just wanted to get a handle on being able to decide what I was going to do and do it. It's been getting better each day. Now, today, if I can stay away from the dessert goodies for the rest of the night, I'll have it made.

I did my pilates this morning. I did not want to, Sam I Am. And I caught myself making excuses as to why I "shouldn't" do it. But I did it. Finally. And it was hard, and many swear words were muttered under my breath as I was gasping and flopping, but I did it. And I know that as long as I can keep from giving in to the urge to throw a brick through my TV, and keep doing the pilates three times a week, in about three weeks, I'll be ok.

Tomorrow it's Couch-to-5K again.


04-26-2005, 09:33 PM
Heh guys, a quick and selfish post here. My tracker has moved! Yeah!! Just a bit but anything is better than nothing. I confess to having a can of beer last night. But just one. I was chatting with a friend on the Webcam and he was drinking and I just couldn't resist not joining him. Is this a strange world or not?! Drinking with people cyberly.

That train accident was horrible. They still don't have all the bodies out. Maybe at least 20 more in there and it's now 48 hours later. Looks like the death toll will be around 100. I'm used to it now but yesterday the reports on tv were really bothering me.

Anyhow, back to work. Take care all! Sorry I can't address you all personally.

04-26-2005, 10:43 PM
Hey y'all. REd, I was thinking of you when I heard about the train accident. I hope nobody you know was involved. So sad.

Well, I guess I have a mini save to report. I decided to skip the barn tongiht and veg out at home with, you guessed it, junk food. I picked up a bag of baked cheddar and sour cream ruffles and a HUGE sized Hershey bar. I came home, made dinner, had some, but not the entire bag, of the chips, and the Hershey bar is sitting there, untouched. I realize I am overtired and overstressed, NOT hungry. So, after I type this, I am off to bed. And hopefully back to the gym tomorrow.

Have a great day all. I may have one finger hooked back on the wagon.

04-26-2005, 10:50 PM
Thanks, jolly. I didn't know or don't know of anyone involved in the accident. thanks for thinking of me.

Yes, though you had some chips, you didn't have the chocolate. And that would mean a major save in calories! Good for you. I have been really good but kind of lost it yesterday. Have found that if I munch celery or carrots or radishes, it really helps. Usually, I'm just bored and can't leave my desk because I need to do work and that, of course, makes me eat out of boredom and frustration that my activity is being so curtailed. You really should check out the McDougall site. I find that whenever I concentrate on veggies, I lose weight. It's very hard to do over the long run, but I'm thinking if I just do it for a day here or there, interspersed with not-so-veggie days, that I will stay come out ahead.

04-27-2005, 02:41 AM
Sounds like we are all struggling with our own set of demons. My deamons are keeping me up in the middle of the night. I'm bummed out and can't get my mind from racing from one thing to another. Of course, I want food to help calm me, but I had only one piece of bread, period.
Red, I also thought of you with the train wreck. Not very comforting to think of as DH is going to NYC in the morning (actually it IS morning, but very early here) and it gives me one more thing to worry about.
For one day, Tuesday, I did ok. I was on program, the first time in ages and I did fill out my journal. I think my mini goal will be to journal every day this week, not a weight goal, but a back on track goal. I think I can handle that.
Journalling is a good thing for me, it helps keep me centered. I need that!
Anyone got a really yummy recipe for chili that is low fat/high protien for me to make for my daughter by the way?

04-27-2005, 11:43 AM
Hey there chickies,
The worst thing we do is dwell on failing and the circle of starting over and over again - at least that's my opinion. I think it comes down to taking it one day at a time, thinking about what we're doing and just getting through the day.

Just like you with the Hershey bar Jolly. There will be days we reach for that stuff and you have to stop, think and push yourself to do the good stuff and maybe rethink the bad stuff. Good job on ignoring the candy Jolly.

The most important thing is that we try. What happened to all the good vibes at the beginning of the week? Keep posting those little "saves", ok?

Today is my birthday. I have the day off. I am ECSTATIC!!!!! My mom is visiting this week and I'm going to spend the day with her just roaming around having a mom / daughter fun day. We'll meet up with the hubby after work and have a nice dinner together.

And I feel soooo good today, and I realized that it's mostly because day after day, there doesn't seem to be too much that I look forward to. Most days are just another one foot in front of the other, get to Friday death march. Then I'm happy for 2 days on the weekend and start the cycle all over again. Comes back to that attitude thing I guess.

Well, I'm off to go take care of some morning chores before the morning is gone. Have a better day today. Celebrate the wonder of being you and why you make this earth a better place for us all.

And Derry - Turkey chili is pretty good and it's a fantastic source of low fat protein. Beans are a great protein source too - feel free to do more than just the kidney beans. The only "fat" is the olive oil and that's a good for you fat. It's the spices that make the chili so you might not notice the turkey instead of beef. First time I made a pot I did 50 / 50 ground turkey and beef until I weaned us off the beef completely. Hope you enjoy...

1 1/2 teaspoons olive oil
1 pound ground turkey
1 onion, chopped
2 cups water
1 (28 ounce) can canned crushed tomatoes
1 (16 ounce) can canned kidney beans - drained, rinsed, and mashed
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
2 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper


Heat the oil in a large pot over medium heat. Place turkey in the pot, and cook until evenly brown. Stir in onion, and cook until tender.
Pour water into the pot. Mix in tomatoes, kidney beans, and garlic. Season chili powder, paprika, oregano, cayenne pepper, cumin, salt, and pepper. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer 30 minutes.

**Obviously you can let it simmer more than 30 minutes - the longer it cooks, the more flavorful it gets.

04-27-2005, 05:26 PM
Thanks for the recipe, Happy! I'm going to pick up the stuff during this week's shopping trip and try it out.
I feel like you do sometimes where there seems to be nothing from one day to the next to look forward to, we've got to stop that and find time to smell the roses each day!

Apple Blossom
04-27-2005, 05:33 PM
Short post-today is my mother's birthday and I have to start getting things in order.
Congrats everyone on your small but important successes!
My stomach is alot better and my old appetite is back so I need to be more careful.I ate too much for dinner last night. I might have been able to post another pound lost but.....I'm hungry now but I'm going to have a bowl of yougurt & granola.
Well, lets get the wagon rolling, chicks! Hang on!!!! :lol:

04-27-2005, 05:44 PM
Short post-today is my mother's birthday and I have to start getting things in order.

In case you were wondering, no I am not Apple's mom. We just share the same BD. :hb:

04-27-2005, 07:48 PM
Happy birthday happy if this is your special day!
As for me, I've kept on program today, thank goodness and did 40 minutes on the treadmill as well. I feel less out of control. I hope I can keep this up.
I set a mini goal for myself that is not a weight goal, but a journalling goal. I do well if I journal and I hope to journal for this entire week, with no slip ups! If I journal, I should probably lose weight - just the way I am!

04-27-2005, 10:11 PM
Happy Birthday, Happy. How was your trip to Chicago? Did you get the pizza you were craving? How is your mom?

I did not make it to the gynm this morning. I also ate the chocolate I bought yesterday while I was shoveling through paperwork at work today. BUT, I was driving home from my part time job, early because it was slow, and I started craving junk again. I did not stop for any reason. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Also, when I stopped before the second job to get some more lettuce and chicken for a salad tonight, I only got what I needed for a salad. I did not get anymore chips, baked or otherwise, or any sweets. Hurray for small favors.

I need to get working out again. I am so tired, so I don't get off the couch and work out, but I know that working out will get me more energized. I need to go.

Have a good day all.

04-27-2005, 10:24 PM
Small victories. I worked out today. I stayed OP with food. I drank my water.

I also kept coughing. I am hoping and praying it's just junk from working out making its way out of my lungs. I so cannot afford to be sick. Financially, emotionally, it just can't happen. I'm taking my goldenseal, I'm drinking my water, yada yada.

Happy Birthday Happy!!

Sounds like most of us are trying to reach the little goals so we can start building on them again. Now, if only my scale would start reflecting my little goals being met... :D

04-28-2005, 02:26 AM
Hey girls,
Thanks for the birthday wishes. We went to dinner tonight, I ate half my pasta, brought the rest home. Had a sundae for dessert. Back on plan tomorrow. It was a good day all in all.

Chicago was COLD!!! and blustery... oh right, that's why I left, wasn't it. Geez it didn't take me long to turn into a weather weenie. :o

Mom's doing great. It's wonderful to have her here this week, I will miss her when she leaves but they will all be back again the end of June for another week long visit.

As for the pizza - OMG. :ink: what can I say :dunno: well, at least I didn't bring the leftovers back with me. Sent them home with my sister.

I'm not doing too bad this week but I will be better come Monday for sure.

Raven, hope it's nothing more than allergies, add a dose of some extra sleep with the goldenseal. Take care and don't get sick. Jolly, I hear you on the hurray for small favors. Keep up the good stuff. Put the chocolate in the freezer so it will be harder to eat and you'll have to shave bits off - saves on calories :lol:

Linda, those are good goals - to journal and get on the treadmill. Keep them up. Apple - hope you had a good time with your Mom today.

We were driving around the subdivision showing my mom some of the houses in the area. We turned down one street and low and behold, a horse and pony farm with some beauties just grazing in the pasture. I'll have to remember that spot next time we go out on the bike. Lovely creatures to look at...

04-28-2005, 05:04 PM
Hey all. Not much to report here. I did make it to the gym today. Hurray. My eating is horrid. Boooo. I need to find something that gets me motivated again. Sigh.

Have a good day.

04-28-2005, 05:09 PM
Hi all! I had a doughnut today, but it was 6 points and I do have flex points.... not going to worry too much about it. I'm making chili in the crockpot for summer, thanx for that recipe! I'll top it with low fat cheddar and maybe a dollap of plain low fat yogurt if I'm in the mood. I'm also making WW onion soup in a little while. I over bought onions this week, though I needed them and bought them on sale and then I got home and discovered I had three bags of them here! Yikes, so it's cooking time!
I'll be on the treadmill either right before or right after dinner, I promised myself I would and I shall do that!
I have been such a good girl journalling, though, I'm proud of that.
A few of you have had NSVs, good girls!
Raven, I hope you don't get sick.try adding Echinacea to your Goldenseal and step up on vitamin C - either in pill or in fresh fruit! Maybe it's allergies?
It's pouring AGAIN today, our community is on flood watch and I'm sick of clouds and rain, I hope for sun tomorrow. I have things to plant and want to get that exercise!
Red? No post from you today, I'm surprised. Hope you are doing ok.

04-28-2005, 05:52 PM
hi Derry, no post, was feeling down on myself. Pissed off at having blown a roll of good days and I got my haircut and hate it. They always cut it too short.
Well, back on track today.

04-28-2005, 06:05 PM
And happy, a big, though belated, Happy Birthday!!! to you. :hb: :hat:

Within this box :gift: is the new knockout you! Open it real soon, ok? :sunny:

04-28-2005, 07:29 PM
Pilates again today. So I did my workout for the fourth day in a row. Water was good. Calorically, my food was ok. Nutritionally... well, probably not that bad either, really. I had white pizza for dinner. Lots of spinach in it! Tomorrow is the last day of the first week of Couch-to-5K.

The cough seems to be subsiding. Thank goodness. I think it was the pollen together with the exercise that made it more severe than it would have been otherwise.

Derry - The goldenseal I use has ecinacea in it. And I take a multivitamin every morning with extra B complex and C. :D I do try to take care of myself. Now if the world would just stop throwing rocks at me, I might be ok.

Red - Thank goodness hair grows back, but I know that immediate loathing when the cut is bad.

Happy - Sleep .. yes, I actually got more of that, too. Maybe I really *am* taking care of myself? Maybe I finally figured out no one else is going to take care of me, so I'd better? ;) Who knows. A horse farm. *sigh* One of these days, huh?

Jolly - Ok .. what is it? Do you need more rest? Are you feeling ok? Because .. if you're not sick, and you're getting enough rest, then it's *my* turn to kick *your* butt. Get some exercise!! You KNOW that working out will make you feel better!! :drill:

Tonight is CSI night! :lol: Hope everyone is feeling good.

04-28-2005, 10:04 PM
Hey all. Just a quick post as I do bills:p My favorite. Anyway. I realized today I have just gotta drag some motivation out of somewhere. I am not caring. I am just tired all the time. And eating? Don't even go there. So, I need to find a way to kick start myself again. Ideas anyone?

04-29-2005, 07:54 AM
Jolly, I know exactly what you are feeling like, I've totally been there these last few weeks. I stopped caring for a little while as well. I care again, and I am not exactly sure what it was that made me start caring again. I do know that learning about my dad's cancer and my brother in law's cancer relapse set me off, but I shouldn't use anything like that as an excuse to stop taking care of myself. I was really getting close to goal and now I have backtracked and put on several of the pounds I lost. It's no one's fault but mine.
Raven, glad you are feeling a bit better. Do you have asthma? Almost sounds like it. I am glad you take care of yourself, we all need to!
Red, I sure know about bad haircuts as well. Last one for me was pretty awful. Hated looking in the mirror and mine was way too short as well. I really like my hair stylist, but after the last cut I was almost going to stop seeing her and try to find someone else. But, now that it's grown out a bit, I kind of like it. BUT, it took three weeks or four maybe to get it to look "normal" again vs. some weirdo freak that I saw in the mirror. I think she does well when I bring in a photo of what I want, if I tell her to trim, I am putting myself at risk. Next time, I'm going to be careful to tell her what I want off in inches.
Also, Red, I'm a person who needs to read a book called "metric system for dummies" can you tell me how much 70 kg is and what it is? I'm not sure I can even interpret your goals to see how you are doing. I know you put a zero at the end of it, but I'm stumped! Duh!
I never got on my treadmill yesterday, I'm ashamed. But, I shall make up for that today for sure. I have about five or six things to plant outside in the garden. The sun is shining for a change, yippee!
I am also going to a quilt show (not one my stuff is in) this afternoon, so it's really going to be one of those "stop and smell the roses" kinds of days. We all need a day like that once in awhile. So, guys, take time to do something NICE that you enjoy that is NOT FOOD!

04-29-2005, 07:30 PM
Hey all. Derry, I hear you. It is so easy to let outside stress derail us. Which is funny, in a not so funny ironic sort of way since the way we treat ourselves is so unhealthy and not good for stress. Sigh. And you certainly have had a lot of stress to deal with.

I have two good things to report for the day. 1) I did make it to the gym this morning. 2) I did go ride my pony tonight. Two things I have been finding excuses to avoid.

Have a good day all.

04-29-2005, 07:44 PM
Hi guys, almost forgot about you because I wasn't getting email notices! And I've been chatting away now that I've found instant messenger. That's a lot of fun but can really eat up the time. Nevertheless, it may be better than sitting here eating! With all the typing, I can't eat. Well, sure, I could, but I don't because it's so obvious what I'm doing. Not like zoning out watching the tube or something.

Well, I was hoping to be able to report a weight loss, but damn, the scale shows no change. I've been doing a lot of walking and have been eating well. Actually stayed away from a night out on the town last night. A guy was leaving and people went out with him. They all wanted me to go but I said no. Don't know. Seems kind of stupid to be saying no to a bit of afterwork socializing for the sake of calories. But I know me, there is absolutely no way I could drink something noncaloric or stop at one beer. So, I stayed away. It's better overall I guess, no money loss, can feel OK going in to work. I realize that a night out ruins the next day pretty much too.

And now I'm cooking up a spaghetti sauce. Just made the wholewheat noodles and will take the lot into work. Back on track.

Oh, god the haircut. I hate it, hate it, hate it. Thank you Derry and Rave for your words of sympathy. I thought I didn't need the picture. I mean the hairdresser does my hair all the time. I said, same as last time and figured she could tell what length it had been. Noooo. So, it's way to short and I look sooooo old. It actually means my body is looking younger than my face and hair. Oh, I so hate having a dowdy middle-aged woman's cut, because I am middle-aged and now I look it! Why do hairdressers do that? Do they think we want to look that way? Oh well, what's done is done. Lesson learned, like you, Derry, don't leave it up to their judgement.

Oh, on the metric. One kilo is 2.2 lbs. so..... 70 kgs would be 154 lbs. Now, I'm just over 163 lbs. I look at the handfuls of fat around my midsection and it makes me hate myself. Where did this come from and why doesn't it go away? I mean, I don't eat much. I suppose being only 5 feet doesn't help. But, boy, I've been walking so much again. How do these people who weight like 110 lbs do it? Are their bones hollow like a bird's or something? Oh well, gotta go now.

Take care all and I hope you find the motivation you need. I don't know. Not caring feels nice. Caring means self-criticism and loathing for me. There's no way around it. I know it's not good and all that, but I can't want to get the fat off and not be disgusted with the me that got me there.

Ciao tutti! :wave:

04-30-2005, 08:25 AM
Heh all, is someone going to start a new thread for May? See, I'm ahead of you all and it'll be May in a couple hours! :yes: I can wait though. Rave, you going to do the honors this month? :encore:

04-30-2005, 09:14 AM
Red - A little anxious for the new month to start?? :lol: I haven't decided what to do with my hair yet... get it cut again, or let it grow out and just throw it into a braid. That's definitely the cheaper of the two options. You sound more upbeat in this post. Or maybe you just had too much coffee? :p Caring to me isn't about criticism and negativity. Caring is genuine concern - a desire for self betterment. Then there's the not caring, which, while very freeing, means I eat whatever the heck sounds yummy without regard to health implications. And then there are the negative, self loathing, self destructive thoughts. Spin the wheel and see where I am today!! :^:

Derry - Though I don't encourage using food as an emotional buffer, I know it well. And I think we have to give ourselves some latitude here, because really, we don't know anything else. I've written about this in my journals and in my entries so often. I know I use food to comfort me during really hard times. I just am barely coming out of 8-9 months of doing it again. I am trying to learn to find other means of comfort in my life, but it's difficult to do. Kind of like fixing the roof. When it's raining you can't, and when it's not raining, why bother? No, I don't have asthma.. not even close. It's just that the pollen count here gets sooooo high - we're one of the nation's 'hot spots' if you will - that the more time one spends outside, the more coated with plant spew my respiritory system gets. Even people who don't suffer from allergies suffer. :p And coupled with starting to run again after months of not doing anything... yeah, my lungs had to hack up a lot of crud. I'm pretty sure that's all it is. Now if I don't watch it, yeah, that will turn into bronchitis in a heartbeat. Been there, done that.

Thunder and lightning this morning. It is so pretty, but... :mad: why doesn't it do this during the week and leave my weekends nice for working with the horses!? Bah.

Yesterday I overslept because CSI was on an hour late on Thursday night. I simply can not miss CSI, so I was really tired when I went to bed, and slapped around the alarm clock Friday morning. No running for me. I'm lucky I made it to work on time. So today is running, the last day of the first week of Couch-to-5K. Tomorrow will be pilates. I must remember to drink my water. It's much harder to remember that at home during the weekends. And so far, I'm doing well. I gave myself to the end of this month to get to my 'starting weight' of 200 - very scary. This morning I'm at 200.5. I'd call that a win, because that puts me at 2 pounds down for the week so far. Monday morning is weigh in for me, officially - we'll see what the scale says then. I did that on purpose. It makes me more aware of what I'm eating on the weekends, because typically I tend to overdo it. If I know I have to weigh in on Monday... I'm more likely to watch it more closely.

Hope everyone is having a great Saturday so far!!

Edited at about noonish to say:

I worked out!! I did my Couch-to-5K!!! :dance: :cb: And I pushed it on the last interval - I ran much faster, then added another 20 seconds of as-fast-as-I-could-move-my-little-legs!! Without falling over, that is. Was about 6.7 mph. Oh MAN that felt good. :hyper:

05-01-2005, 07:38 AM
Yesterday was kind of a lost and off the wagon day, but it was a good day at least. We went to tour a college with my son and he liked it and we did well.
I ate, though, and had no remorse.... today I feel badly about it, but yesterday it was all about the day and the goodness of it. Do you all ever feel that way? I call it "social eating", just as bad as emotional eating, but a different kind of day.
But, my mini goal is to journal and I shall do my best to write it all down and figure out where I stand. We did do a fair amount of walking on campus, so that will help.
Red, my weight and yours are very close, and I know what you mean about the 110 pound people. I think they starve themselves or maybe they do have hollow bones? One time my mom was putting sunscrean on my back and said in surprise "you are so solid", it was meant to be a compliment. I think what she meant was that even though I might look "larger" (nice way to put it?) I am very compact and solid as a person. I work out and walk, and sometimes don't as often as I should, but I definately do not look like I weigh as much as I do. I would say that I look like I weigh 135 - 140, but I weigh much more. I think that is becuase I am "solid". Does that make any sense at all?
When I get on the scale at a doctor's office, for example, I've had nurses make remarks like that to me, they would never think I weigh as much as I do, yet I do.
I think that might be one of the reasons why it's so hard for me to lose weigh?

05-01-2005, 10:28 AM
Just FYI, the May thread has been started, so make sure to post there!

05-01-2005, 09:24 PM
Here's the link to the new thread. Hop on over!