100 lb. Club - How do I change my self-image?

View Full Version : How do I change my self-image?

03-29-2005, 12:16 PM
I had a little melt down last night... I cried to my roommate for like 20mins... She's my best supporter and is a 'normal' size person and really couldn't help me...

I met my short term goal and I'm really pleased with myself. I'm kicking (or sheding?!) some serious butt! I know the scale is lighter. I know the measurements are less. I know that my clothes grew while hanging in the closet. I know other people have commented on me getting smaller. However, I can't see a change at all. When I look down, nothing. When I look in the mirror, nothing.

How do I work on fixing my brain?!

03-29-2005, 12:29 PM
Oh, boy, can I relate to this one! I had a meltdown when I lost 25 pounds, then another at 50... it's like success in some ways temporarily makes me feel worse because it makes me think about my body in ways I hadn't allowed myself to think about it in *years*.

I think one of the problems may be that weight loss is so slow that we get accustomed to it as we go along, then get impatient for the next goal. Imagine if we stayed the same weight then suddenly after months of hard work, we were thin. I think we'd appreciate the weight loss more (although we'd probably never get there without the positive feedback of loss! :dizzy: ). But hey... it may be a blessing in disguise, because if we were too comfortable in our success, we might not be motivated to reach the NEXT goal.

Just remind yourself of the facts: You're motivated, you're losing, and people are noticing. Those are terrific, wonderful things. WL is such hard work, both physicially and ESPECIALLY mentally. Most of us have spent so long being fat that we can't even imagine ourselves thin, so it DOES take time to change self-perceptions. In the meantime, work on how you talk to yourself. Celebrate small things. Give it time, and I KNOW you'll start to notice, too.

03-29-2005, 12:30 PM
Maybe you need to see what other objects weigh 38 lbs just so you can see what really came off your body. Most babies weigh between 7 or 8lbs right?? So you could look at it like you lost 5 new born babies. I dunno maybe that'll help...

03-29-2005, 12:56 PM
Thanks a bunch Ladies! I appreciate the feedback... I'll keep working on it.

03-29-2005, 01:13 PM
Boy I have a problem with this too. I'm down 184 from my highest and I still look in the mirror sometimes and think I still look just as bad. Then other days I look and think hey I'm really looking good. I try not to look to much when I'm naked that gets me because of all the lose skin. But when I'm dressed I can admire what I've done.

I don't know the answer but I know I'm going to keep going no matter what.

03-29-2005, 01:58 PM
I agree with Howie. I have good days and bad days. I just make it through the bad days but I really try to soak up the good days feelings to get me through those bad ones.

03-29-2005, 02:28 PM
Boy, I can sure relate!

A show we watched on FitTV last night talked about this. The doctor gave an example of a patient who thought she was still huge. He gave her a piece of string and asked her to show him how big around her arm was. She looped the string and they measured the circumfrence. Then he took the string and actually measured around her arm with it, and it was much smaller than what she "saw" in her mind. He talked about some people needing counseling to get past the poor body image, but the show didn't really go into detail about it.

03-29-2005, 02:39 PM
I still do this with spaces between things... for instance, the space between two machines at the gym. I always assume I can't fit, so I walk around. Lately I've been challenging myself to try more often, and I'm amazed. I also still pick up stuff that's many sizes too big to try on. I have to take somebody shopping with me so I don't walk out with huge clothes!

It's gonna take time, I guess... and counseling wouldn't hurt, I'm sure!

03-29-2005, 03:14 PM
Wow, this is a tough one. I bet we all probably go through this at some point or another. Personally, I still have days (yesterday happened to be one of them) where I just feel huge! I know, in my head, that I'm not anymore, but it does still happen, and I'm not really sure what exactly triggers it. Yesterday I was just having a "blah" day. I was having trouble keeping my mind off food, had to force myself to exercise, and just felt extra big and crappy in general. I think this is just something that all of us who knows what being obese really feels like, will have to deal with, perhaps for the rest of our lives?? So, how do you change your self-image?? Good question, mine is still a work in progress here. But it does, and will get easier. I really liked NJ84's idea. Go take a look at what 38 lbs. of flour or butter looks/feels like. Now that's an eye opener! Try on some of those too big clothes in the closet and just look; really look, at how they hang on you now. Just know that you've achieved a major accomplishment. Let yourself take pride in all that you've done. You are making a difference, every single day, whether you can see it or not. Congratulations, you really are doing this!!


03-29-2005, 03:59 PM
Thank you all for your kind words and great ideas! It's also good to know I'm not the only one that feels this, (quite a bummer that it never seems to go away though). Thanks again!

03-29-2005, 05:03 PM
Howie keeps an old pair of jeans from when he was at his heaviest: 66x30. He now wears 46x30. To look at those pants is unbelievable, especially knowing he used to fill them out. I don't think I have any of my clothes from when I was at my heaviest - sure wish I did!

03-29-2005, 06:08 PM
I understand how you feel, too. I've been feeling that way a lot lately, so I really don't know what to say other than what everyone else has already gotten out. Just wanted to let you know that everyone here feels that way sometimes!

03-29-2005, 09:42 PM
I don't know if this will help you at all.. but I've been trying to think of things in a different way. Rather than thinking about how I really look (eek!!), or how I really feel, I've decided I am Fabulous! It brings a smile to my face everytime I think about it, and why shouldn't we all feel Fabulous? We ARE Fabulous!! We have to keep up being Fabulous by eating properly, working out and looking good (clothes put together, hair done.. etc..). Put a smile on your face, you are one Fabulous lady! :) This is funny coming from me, I'm normally so negative.. but it's not working for me, so I'm trying being positive and Fabulous! (hehe, sick of that word yet?)


03-29-2005, 09:45 PM
Thanks Amiee! I too now feel Fabulous and I am grinning at my computer like a dope! (I'm at work... they are wondering what I'm doing.)

03-29-2005, 10:10 PM
Fabulous dahlings. Just Fabulous

03-30-2005, 02:25 AM
Instead of ab flab, we're ab fab!

03-30-2005, 11:48 AM
Sometimes, what’s going on in our little hearts does not relate to rational thinking….I’m in the same boat as a you are. I lost 50 pounds over four months. This is awfully fast. Even with that rapid loss I’m still not satisfied and want more…I want the “6 pack” to replace my belly before the summer….A friend who’s training like crazy told me very seriously “this is not going to happen, no matter how hard you train”

I think having close friends or family kicking our butts back to reality may be a solution…What Kimberly said about Howie keeping his old 66’ jeans is a good thing. Maybe if you look at all the progress you made instead of what’s left to do you will feel better.

03-30-2005, 11:53 AM
I think one of the problems may be that weight loss is so slow that we get accustomed to it as we go along, then get impatient for the next goal. Imagine if we stayed the same weight then suddenly after months of hard work, we were thin. I think we'd appreciate the weight loss more (although we'd probably never get there without the positive feedback of loss! :dizzy: ). But hey... it may be a blessing in disguise, because if we were too comfortable in our success, we might not be motivated to reach the NEXT goal.

This was exactly what was in my mind.

When I started this program, I bought a disposable camera and I take pics at different points, I've never done that before. I really want to make an effort this time to be a lot more in touch with my body. And the clothes are really where I can see the difference too. Shirts I was wearing when I started are way too baggy, coats are too big.

I do think it's a very weird phenomenon that in the past I just didn't see when I'd lost or gained large amounts of weight.

03-30-2005, 11:55 AM
Instead of ab flab, we're ab fab!

:lol: I love it. ha.

03-30-2005, 12:06 PM
Another thing I find that helps me is my weight chart. Now I will admit at first it felt a little overwhelming because I had all those dates listed out in front of me. But now it is so encouraging to look at that and see how the weight has come off. I just love looking at it. Sometimes I will fill in the future dates at the rate I've been losing just to show myself that it is possible and I will do it. Here is a link if you want to see what I do. I used excel and have it do the calculations. Plus I have all my mini goals listed. Those are the goals that I take a picture when I make.


03-30-2005, 01:31 PM
Thanks again everyone.

Howie - I do a weekly weigh in and measurements that I write down and keep in a folder so I can look at that (and do often!!). It does help a bunch! I just gave all my clothes away without even thinking of keeping a pair of pants as a 'referance material'! Maybe I can still do that with some shorts! haven't gone thru those yet...

03-30-2005, 02:04 PM
Howie, you sound just like me! I have a spreadsheet model that I created where I can type in a future date and either use my rate of loss to-date or adjust the rate of loss. It's nerdy but fun!

03-30-2005, 04:12 PM
I love my spread sheets. That is how I do my food journal also.

03-30-2005, 04:59 PM
I use excel to track my data too. I love doing the forcasting - it's a great motivator. and I like to look at charts with the line heading downward. (I'm a geek)

03-30-2005, 07:05 PM
One thing I've not done is kept measurements, and I need to. I have a big tape measure at the waiting (grabbed one and found out later it is for quilting, so it's very long, LOL!).

03-30-2005, 09:53 PM
Taking measurements is a *great* idea. I wish I'd done it at the beginning! I find that when I'm not losing very quickly, it's VERY helpful to see that I'm still getting smaller. It helps keep me on track. And, truth to tell, I'd rather be smaller than weigh less anyday! My weight is just for me, Diet Power, and my Tanita (oh, and just about everybody on here, I guess)! :lol: