[djbabylove]

I'm sorry, but whoever said self esteem comes from within couldn't have been short and overweight. I on the other hand am short and overweight and work around young skinny beautiful girls who get positive feedback from everyone around them. I also have low self esteem and feel depressed when I can't get the respect and attention that I deserve. I am a good person and would do anything for anyone if they were in distress. Honestly I look in the mirror everyday and try to pick myself up by telling myself I am beautiful on the inside and out. It doesn’t help. I use to believe that your self esteem comes from the way you feel about yourself but I don't feel that way any longer. I believe now that your self esteem, if you want to call it your "self" esteem, because it certainly isn't yours, belongs to the people around you and how they make you feel. I get along with everyone at work, but I know they don't see me as anyone who would matter. I suppose it feels like that to me even when I am not at work. People don't give me a second glance no matter how good of a person I am and that hurts.

I hope I am not sounding whiney to anyone … this is just how I feel nearly everyday. I am not even losing weight for myself anymore. I want to lose it to get respect and love that I deserve.

[Leenie]

Well good morning and welcome !

I do understand how you feel, I really do. When my weight is up, I tend to walk with my head hung low. One thing I have learned in life and that is, if people do not recognize the beauty thats inside of me then I do not want to be friends with them anyway. I want to have positive people around me ones that don't judge. Another thing I've noticed is when I (even at a high weigh, which is where I am now) walk around at work and smile, hold my head up, people tend to want to be near me, they want to know why I'm smiling, they want to say hello.

It is a cruel world and its a shame we are judged for our appearance but in all honesty, we have to love and like ourselves first before we can expect others to do the same. Its not easy, but we are worth it.

You said your self esteem belongs to others, I think only if you let it.

Hang in there!

HUGS !!

[djbabylove]

I know you are right Lennie it is just a challenge to love yourself when you are mainly being judged on your exterior rather than you’re interior. Believe me I am trying. I go into work everyday with a smile and treat people the way I would want to be treated. I don't let them see the sad side of me because I know it’s not very attractive. I also didn’t mention that I have fallen for one of my co-workers; he is a nice guy who was also overweight at one time. We play around and I know he wouldn't really have anything bad to say about me, but I do see the difference in the way he acts with me and the way he acts with the younger, thinner girls there. I seem to think that I am just considered "one of the guys" to him and I really don’t like being seen that way but it is the only way I can get close to him. I guess and I will most likely get kicked of the forum for saying this, but I am mainly losing weight so he can find me attractive on the outside and want to get to know the inside of me more. I am just so confused.

[Leenie]

Everyone loses weight for one reason or another, if this guy is such a turn on to you and it makes you want to lose, then girl, I say GO FOR IT!!! No one is going to kick you off the forum for expressing your feelings which are very VERY natural. Shoot I wish I had a good looking guy at work that would make me wanna lose weight Wanna post his picture (heck I'll try anything lolol)

But the one thing that the folks would tell you here is to lose weight the healthy way, which is lots of good food, veggies, lean meats, fruits, water and exercise, this way your creating healthy habits that will make your weighloss last a long time, hopefully for life. And also, do it for you and your child because those are the two most important people in your life.

I really hope you find a good board to stay on here, the women are wonderful. You should surf around and try out a few of them and post every day if you can, because support is sooooo important.

I post here and a few other spots on the daily thread when I can (the thread with that day's date on it). We'd love to see you there as well.

HUGS !!!!

[djbabylove]

I will post a picture of him as soon as I figure out how to do it. do you know how?

[liz321]

Welcome to our board

Thanks for sharing so freely and honestly here.......that takes a lot of guts!

What kind of work do you do? Looking forward to getting to know you better! You have a child?

I can't help but notice how much weight you have lost! Way to go...that is a huge accomplishment.

I can't speak for you but I know for me when I am heavy I do feel tired, sad, embarrassed etc........and I am sure that rubs off on others and affects the way others treat me. I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and noticed people at work were treating me different.......but it wasn't because my pant size was 8 sizes smaller........it was because I felt good about myself, more energetic and confident. Right or wrong that is how I felt.Those same people are still good to me because even though I have put some of (most) the weight back on my behavior hasn't changed. I make a choice every day to be engaging, interesting and hard working.

Don't get me wrong I have my down days, and beat myself up and keep to myself.......but that is just me and I accept it........

Hang in there and stick around!

Eliz

[djbabylove]

Hi Liz ... I work for Dominos Pizza as a Delivery "person". The job gives me a good workout. I have been on a low carb diet since January and my first couple of weeks I lost those 16 lbs but now I am balancing between 195 and 192. I lost my motivation two weeks ago and started eating cheesy bread from work. I found my motivation again last week and started drinking more water and less Splenda flavored water. I am also doing a workout with Denise Austin every morning. The workout makes me feel good and gets my heart pumping.

As for the way I feel about myself, well I guess I would feel better if i lost the weight and it would show on my face. I know I would defiantly feel better on the inside if I looked better on the outside. I am not planning on giving up. I just get discouraged and impatient. I am sure everyone who is trying to lose weight has these feelings.

Thank you for your feedback and I am looking forward to conversing with others on the forum.

Thank you...