[lessismore]

Hi Gang,

I took a big, giant step today and made an appointment with a plastic surgeon in Boston for next month. I am meeting with him to find out about having a tummy tuck. I realize that for almost 7 years (my baby is 7!!!), I have agonized over my deflated bread dough stomach. I have barely any fat, just some saggy skin and an extremely horrifying belly button. I know that no matter how hard I work at the gym, I still feel like I have to hide my stomach and this BOTHERS me to no end. I feel deformed & ugly. I wish I could see it as the prize for having my child and all of that jazz, but I can't -- I feel uncomfortable around my own husband even though he loves me no matter what and thinks I'm crazy to consider surgery.

This morning I saw a lady on the Today show (anyone see this?) who had surgery on her stomach. Quite honestly, her after pictures look much worse than my before, which got me thinking. They could probably make my belly button look almost normal. I can't even imagine how good I would feel knowing that my stomach wouldn't jiggle around anymore and sag over the edge of my bathing suit. I truly believe part of the reason I yo yo on my diet is because I get so down on my appearance.

I will keep you all posted of my progress. I'm scared to death. I'm not sure if I'll go through with this, but if I do, I'll gladly post my before and after pictures.

Lessismore

[Sashenka]

Lessi,

I had 1 week vacation in Mexico and the best thing they had was a very nice gym. So every morning I would go there and spend 1-2 hours in almost empty gym. However, one woman was always there - she would go to elliptical, do some free weights and LOTS of abs. I mean LOTS, like 1/3 of her time in the gym would be abs. I looked at her (she was in her 50-ties) and her tummy (she was in sports bra) looked so funny to me - like there are some kind of artificial belly button with skin which was kind of way too nice but did also look artificially. One day she talked to me - she asked what do I do to have my tummy so flat... Mind you, I think that my tummy is way far from flat - I am a Mom of 3 kids and I also am NOT exercise freak and I do my abs but about 1-2 times a week... And here she is asking what do I do... Nothing, I said, and we talked about tummies. She said she had her tummy tuck about 3 years ago. And she does not like her tummy - I did not like it either. It was not beautiful, it was not natural in the first place.

My advice - if you are in doubt, ask your female friends and enemies whether you need tummy tuck. We have this picture of us imprinted in out heads, but people see us differently - something what we think is ugly is actually beautiful. I wish I did not meet this woman - at least I will never go for tummy tuck - he tummy was not beautiful, I would say - close to ugly IMHO.

[Mel]

Good luck, Anne! I know exactly how you are feeling. Before I had my TT last spring, I was much more lax about my diet because I knew that nothing could change the shredded skin and torn muscle other than surgery. Now that my skin is 100 percent tighter, my belly button looks normal, and my stomach is flat again, I do feel an obligation to keep it that way

Sandy- You snuck in there on me. Anne, the only thing I can add is that I'm sorry I waited so long. I beat myself up for years about skin and torn muscle which I couldn't do a thing about. I love the way I look now. I don't have perfect "plastic" body, but I have a body that reflects the hard work I've put into it. Ask to see the surgeon's portfolio. Ask to talk to other patients. They certainly won't show you "bad" pics or have unhappy patients talk to you, but talk to a couple of surgeons and ask as many people as you know. You may not know anyone who has had a TT, but if you ask about plastic surgery in general, you may start hearing stories about particular surgeons. Ask questions on the chat forum of www.tuckthattummy.com. I'm sure there are people there who have used surgeons in Boston.

In case anyone thinks I'm pushing plastic surgery, I'm not. It is a drastic solution and not for everyone. But for some of us, it does become the only solution. If that's the route you choose to go, you are supported here. Whatever you choose is your personal decision and don't let anyone else's beliefs dictate your actions.

Wishing you the best,
Mel

[MrsJim]

What Mel said.

I have NOT regretted my tummy tuck (been over a year now) for one moment - for me it was worth every cent! Like Mel, I'm MUCH more diligent about keeping my new flat tummy - I included Pilates and yoga in my routine as soon as my surgeon gave the OK (if you have the muscle repair then you need to give them a few months to completely heal before doing crunch-type stuff).

Originally Posted by Sashenka

My advice - if you are in doubt, ask your female friends and enemies whether you need tummy tuck. We have this picture of us imprinted in out heads, but people see us differently - something what we think is ugly is actually beautiful.

Um...actually I don't agree with this - it's up to the individual as to whether they feel they need a TT, not what others say. 'Tain't noone else's business and it really shouldn't be. An ethical plastic surgeon worth his or her salt is going to tell you the truth (example - when I mentioned to my PS that I would love to do a breast lift in the future, her response was "why - you look just fine - just wear a bra!"), whereas other people (friends OR enemies) will either tell you what YOU want to hear or perhaps out of subconcious jealousy, will say otherwise because they don't want you to 'look better than they do'. And I SURE wouldn't tell my enemies because I know they'll blab it to the entire WORLD that I was thinking about getting a TT when I don't necessarily want the world to know it, KWIM? (hey, even people you think are your friends might be tempted to gossip...)

Anyway...it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, if there's a part of your body that BUGS you and you have the wherewithal and the opportunity to DO something about it and that will make you feel better about yourself...then go for it - but do a TON of research first. Don't just go to the first surgeon you talk to. (BTW I know that Boston is LOADED with great doctors - a cousin of mine is an MD and professor at UMass and he's brilliant - not a plastic surgeon though.)

Heck - I didn't even really ask Jim if HE thought I needed to have a TT - he's FAR too smart to answer any 'how do I look' type of question. I just told him I was planning it, and the date of surgery - he drove me to the surgery center in the early morning, and picked me up at night when I was discharged. Also he helped me out for the first few days but once I got off the Percoset I was feeling well enough to stay home on my own.

Just my two centavos.

[Meg]

Best of luck to you, Anne! You certainly can't go wrong in talking with a doctor about your options. It gave me such peace of mind to know that my skin problems weren't my fault and that they could be fixed. And I'm ecstactially happy about my lower body lift (it's a TT that goes all the way around). As Mel and Karen said, it's a very personal choice for all of us but I know beyond a doubt that it was the right choice for me.

Keep us up to date on what you learn. It IS a big decision and we'll support you in whatever you decide to do.

[ellis]

Anne, I echo Mel, Mrs. Jim and Meg... best of luck to you, whatever choice you make!
After two emergency c-sections (during one of those pregnancies, I gained 80 pounds), my stomach is so ugly, I can't bear to look at it anymore. I don't know if I'll ever have surgery, but I certainly think it's a personal choice.

[Only Me]

Anne, I can completely understand why you want a TT. 4 closely spaced pregnancies have done a number on the skin and muscles of my abdomen. It's pretty scary, and crunches and pilates are helping my tummy be somewhat flatter, but the loose wrinkly skin and the separted muscles aren't something exercise can fix. Surgery isn't for me right now, but I can see where it would be right for someone else in a similar situation.

There's nothing to lose by talking to a surgeon (or two). Good luck!

[jiffypop]

ok ok ok . i got the message. i'll go nag everyone to get the paperwork done... i GOTTA get this taken care of.

[ellis]

Originally Posted by jiffypop

ok ok ok . i got the message. i'll go nag everyone to get the paperwork done... i GOTTA get this taken care of.

Jiffy, I love you.

[lessismore]

Thank you all for the responses. Shashenka, I understand your point, sometimes plastic surgery looks, well, plastic. But I do know that my stomach looks, well, like deflated bread dough. I know, for me, things can only get better. I am scheduled to visit one of the supposed "best" plastic surgeons in Boston at Mass General Hosp. I've had surgery at this hospital before and have great faith in all of the Harvard trained doctors that practice there. I'm excited to see what he has to say. My stomach is actually flat and strong, but with this hangy skin around the belly button. My hope is that I can have a mini-TT or some sort of less invasive surgery. We'll see...

I know I learn a lot from reading about the experiences of Mel, Meg, Karen and others who have shared their stories about surgery. I'm sharing my story because I hope to add to the knowledge available to others in this forum.

[boiaby]

I say, if you truly want to do this for youself and you've got the resources, then go for it!! I would do it in a heartbeat if I could.

I have another question for those who have had a tummy tuck. Now that the skin is pulled tight, are you able to see actual muscle definition in your abs? Or does it just appear flat since the skin has been completely detached from the underlying muscle? I'm pretty sure I've got a six-pack hiding somewhere under all this skin, and I would love to think that I might actually see it someday, if I'm ever fortunate enough to have the procedure done.

Beverly

[karynlee]

Anne, I will be very interested to hear how your appt goes, regardless of what you decide.

I gained 70 lbs with both my pregnancies and also had an emergency c-section. My doctor told me that my jiggly lower abdomen will never be corrected without surgery.

My husband has no issues with my belly and there's no one else in the world who will EVER see it. It even appears flat in clothes. The thing is, it bothers ME every single stinkin' day. It's disheartening to know that despite all my hard work and effort, it will never change. That's why I'm planning on getting a TT as soon as we are in a position financially.

For those of you who have had surgery, how would you suggest conducting the necessary research? The Internet?

Good luck, Anne!

[MrsJim]

Originally Posted by boiaby

I say, if you truly want to do this for youself and you've got the resources, then go for it!! I would do it in a heartbeat if I could.

I have another question for those who have had a tummy tuck. Now that the skin is pulled tight, are you able to see actual muscle definition in your abs? Or does it just appear flat since the skin has been completely detached from the underlying muscle? I'm pretty sure I've got a six-pack hiding somewhere under all this skin, and I would love to think that I might actually see it someday, if I'm ever fortunate enough to have the procedure done.

Beverly

I can definitely see some muscle definition - not a six-pack though. That would take more than a tummy tuck - getting a six-pack takes WORK and a very, VERY low body fat percentage - probably somewhere below 10%, which is hard to attain, pretty much impossible to maintain and for most women is too low, healthwise.

I have nice flat abs, with a 'defintion line' or 'cut' down the center. I am VERY VERY happy with my surgeon's work - especially the belly button. My scar is getting noticeably lighter as time passes - it doesn't bother me anyway since it's located under my bikini line. During warm weather I wear crop tops and sports bras (except at the stables...the barn owner kind of discourages that sort of thing!). My surgeon said that given my previous high weight of 265 I was VERY fortunate that my belly skin was in such good shape - even though I have a TON of stretch marks on my thighs, underarms and boobs, I had NONE that were waist level and above (and those got cut out when she removed my 'apron' of skin - yee haw!)

A competent surgeon is an artist and will want a NATURAL looking result. It's when extremes are attempted that you get the fake looking results - without seeing my scar it's impossible to tell I had plastic surgery unless I tell them and that's EXACTLY what I wanted.

[Mel]

YES! I can see my abs obliques, even! The skin is detached during surgery, but is does re-anchor to the muscle. The more muscle you have, the better it looks and the easier the recovery. I can see a four pack on some days when I've had a perfect eating week and stayed out of the carbs. My body fat is fairly low, but not down in the 10% range

I did a lot of research on the internet, but then had consults with 3 surgeons, talked to several of their patients, and talked to other women who I knew had had plastic surgery of some sort. Since I work at a gym, it's pretty obvious when a woman is flat chested one week and has a D cup chest the next what she's done. I just asked about surgeons, and everyone was more than willing to talk (and show! ) I heard about a lot of bad boob jobs and figured if a doc couldn't get that right, I wasn't going to give him a chance on my stomach.

Mel

[MrsJim]

Originally Posted by karynlee

My husband has no issues with my belly and there's no one else in the world who will EVER see it. It even appears flat in clothes. The thing is, it bothers ME every single stinkin' day. It's disheartening to know that despite all my hard work and effort, it will never change. That's why I'm planning on getting a TT as soon as we are in a position financially.

For those of you who have had surgery, how would you suggest conducting the necessary research? The Internet?

LOL...Jim's the same way. He had no issues whatsoever (given that - he really appreciates the results...it seems like he is always putting his arm around my smaller waist since the surgery...so there ya go!).

But ya know...if it bothers YOU - THAT'S reason enough. Except for health reasons (i.e. reconstructive surgery following a masectomy, that sort of thing) the ONLY reason to have plastic surgery is to make YOU feel better about yourself. NOT to impress your friends. NOT because of what others think. It's YOUR life and YOUR body...and if your tummy, or boobs, or whatever is making you feel like crap inside...why not at LEAST look into having something done about it? (I'm not trying to twist anyone's arm here...just stressing it's a PERSONAL decision, yours and no one else's to make.)

First thing I'd do is go to Meg's "Loose Skin and Weight Loss FAQ" thread here in the Maintainers forum...check out some of those resources (again, Tuck that Tummy has a WEALTH of info) then go to your local library and start readin'! I've recommended two books: Two Girlfriends Get Real About Cosmetic Surgery (not only informative but a FUN read as well) and The Smart Woman's Guide to Plastic Surgery.

I would recommend being ultra-cautious about selecting a surgeon. There are lots of great ones out there...and there are some crappy ones as well. Don't go just by price alone - and if you get a referral or two, then so much the better (it was easy for me as my PS previously did my mother's reconstruction after her double masectomy, so I already had the best of recommendations). You need to feel COMFORTABLE with the surgeon and his or her ability, ya know?

I'm sure Meg and Mel can add some more tips.