Weight Loss Surgery - Angry about WLS $!*&*

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03-05-2005, 01:02 AM

03-05-2005, 03:02 AM
You know, a horrible thing happened to me when I was pregnant.... IT'S CALLED MASSIVE FLUID RETENTION!!!! (Sorry, not yelling at you Pookie.) I looked like I had gained 75 lbs by the time I went into labor. 3 Days after giving birth I was back down to my pre-pregnancy weight, and at my 10 day check up, I was 40 lbs beow my prepregnancy weight, but I still looked pregnant. Ignorance knows no bounds.

03-05-2005, 03:08 AM
Ok, see, now I want to know which forum you saw that in so I can paste the below response. :censored:

03-05-2005, 11:58 PM
oh pookie.. it's so true and so bizarre. some people love nothing more than to see others fail. and so many thin people prefer to believe that 'we could have made other choices' and we wouldn't have ended up in this position. and since we can't control our food intake ourselves we're doomed to fail this.. blah blah blah. and heavy people who decide not to have surgery sometimes like to point fingers and say 'see?? it didn't work, so i'm not going to try it.'

they don't understand. they don't get it. and then there are people who've had WLS who are angry about it. they are angry that they can't eat the way they used to. they're angry that they're, well ANGRY at everything. perhaps they're finally feeling their own anger that they've been swallowing all these years? i have no idea... i'm so sorry that this happens, and that you saw it.

don't be surprised if your kind note gets flamed. people will be angry, no matter how silly it is.

and that's one reason i don't visit very many other forums... i have enough trouble without seeing all that stupidness...

big hugs for you, babe!!!! yes - for YOU. you weigh less than i do now!!!!!

03-06-2005, 10:08 AM
But the thing that really suprised me was the venom in some of the posts. They were saying things like Carnie looks Horrible now and she is living proof that WLS does not work.

Sounds to me like they are JEALOUS of her and there's nothing worse than a JEALOUS person IMHO. Pookie, ignore them, they obviously do not understand. If they were ever in one of your shoes for 10 minutes then they would know to keep their yap shut.

JEALOUSY they don't call it the green eye'd monster for nothing.

03-07-2005, 06:53 AM
Hey. I was browsing here b/c a close friend of mine has had WLS and is having some of the normal side effects. I wanted to see if I could find anything that might help her with those probs.

My take on this is that there are people in all communities who feel the need to flaunt their successes rather than share them. I have been told, by more than one wls patient, "why are you wasting your time, just get surgery." While I just responded with a giggle, it hurt on the inside that they were talking down to me and my choices.

I KNOW for a fact that everyone having the surgery doesn't think that way. I admire people who have to make that decision...it has to be incredibly scary to commit to that sort of thing. I just think that the bad apples are giving the whole group the stereotype that non-wls people have come to know and trust.

For me, the ONLY thing that has made me angry is when people complain about insurance not covering wls. As a 26 year old single woman, diagnosed with multiple autoimmune conditions, asthma, gall bladder disease, severe allergies, etc who can not qualify for ANY affordable health insurance (under any conditions) and doesn't qualify for medicaid/free assistance, I take GREAT offense to someone of a lower weight than myself complaining b/c their health plan won't cover a cosmetic procedure.

I think, in cases where immediate health is an issue, insurance SHOULD cover the surgery. However, as a preventative measure for people under 300lbs, I just take issue w/that sort of thing affecting health care costs for a whole group of people not otherwise covered. I believe that gym memberships should be covered under all plans and visits to nutritionists and better mental health coverage should come before wls b/c, in my opinion, those things would prevent the need for wls in the end anyway.

That's just my pet peeve and that's the only time I have ever been angry w/wls patients...but then again, I get angry/jealous of anyone complaining about something that tons of people do not even have the luxary of CONSIDERING complaining about in the first place. :)

Sorry about the negative reaction you saw...I think it's just a lack of understanding between the various groups of people. All of us want the same thing...to get our health under control. I think as long as that happens, the method doesn't really matter to me!

Hugs and thanks for sharing about carnie, I am so out of touch I didn't even know she was pregnant! :) How exciting the last few years have been for her huh?

03-07-2005, 02:03 PM
I apreciate your input Toni, but WLS is not a cosmetic procedure by any stretch of the imagination. I really feel for you, with your inability to get affordable insurance. I gained my weight because of a medical condition, and was told I would never lose it on my own. So, after 5 years of trying and completely destroying my joints, my only alternative was WLS. I have traumatic osteoarthritis from my waist down, split the cartilege in both my hips from running, and no cartilege to speak of in my left knee. I also have asthma, GERD, ensometriosis, and debilitating chronic migraines. Fortunately, no autoimmune disorders. The point of WLS is to prevent these problems from getting worse or even developing by aiding weight loss. And I agree, it is not an option for everyone. Anyone who has not made the decision is not wasting time. And I don't think I should have had to wait until I was 300 lbs to become eligible, because I am too short to survive being that obese. The ASBS has set their standards the way they have for a very good reason. Some people have to lose weight before their surgeon will perform their surgery because their comorbidities are so bad, such as sleep apnea or coronary artery disease.

03-07-2005, 06:25 PM
I am sorry...I didn't meant to imply that they were all cosmetic. I was referring to a specific group of people I happen to know in SC. :) For them, their insurance wouldn't cover it b/c there was no health risk and they actually formed a group to petition to make it be covered. I had to cover it when I worked @ the radio station. It is the only time I've been angry at wls patients in a group. ha The entire issue at hand was cosmetic surgery being covered under group insurance plans or something.

I choose 300 lbs only b/c that's near my high weight. I didn't/don't/never will understand how something 230 in perfect health could/should qualify for that surgery without trying other things first...after they've exhausted options, of course they need it b/c one day...being 50+ lbs overweight WILL be an immediate health risk. In cases where someone has hypertension or severe compuslive eating or things like that, I think it should be like any other medical treatment...and I'd stand by anyone's side as they had it

There are, however, a lot of people out there who aren't doing it b/c their health is at immediate risk. I know a lot of them, personally who haven't tried other weight loss plans for more than a month at a time and won't exercise and have been denied the surgery b/c of their apathy toward things...and two of them, when they were denied, just kept going to new surgeons until they found one who agreed to go for it.

We have a doctor in the news now who is being sued by 18 people for doing gastric bypass on people who weren't necessarily good candidates and ended up much worse off now than they were 3 years ago when they had it. I know that's the exception, rather than the rule, but it's still happening and it's scary.

One of my good friends had it and I cry from being so proud of her everytime I think about it...it's been so hard on her but she keeps smiling and making us all laugh. :) I hope it finally gives her what she's been hoping for since forever. She'll get there this time, I know she will

I am sorry for your health probs too. I wish I could make everyone's icky go away. My mom is especially ill right now and has gained nearly 50lbs in the last 3 years. That's a lot on her 4' 11" frame and she's not used to being big at all so it's making all of her ailments that much worse. Side effects of meds make it impossible to lose too. My last big poof up came from prednisone yuckiness.

Anyway, sorry to imply those things I want to clarify that I fully understand that wls is a medical procedure and deserves the respect of that...in fact, that's my only hope. I hope that no more people abuse it and it doesn't become more of a trend than a treatment. I am glad I don't work in media right now w/the latest scandels in my area. It was always hard being a big girl and doing stories on obesity. he he he :)

Hope you are well and good luck w/your weight loss.
Have a good evening!

03-07-2005, 07:56 PM
No worries. My sympathies for your mom. I had do do some time on prednisone and gained a whopping 30 lbs. Ouch!! I think if any doc had told me not to get WLS, I would have listened. I tried everything under the sun. Am I to understand that maybe you inherited some of your illnesses from your mother, like the autoimmune stuff? You work for a radio station? Cool!!

03-10-2005, 02:37 AM
Um, Pookie... Is it just me or do about 85% of all the posts in the celebrity losers forum come across as denegrating and shallow towards the celebrities mentioned? And I don't mean just about people who look like they've gained weight. One post mentioned one person who lost so much that she looked "bobble-headed". I hate being judged because of how I look, so I wonder if I should even be here, ya know? I'm trying to avoid the flaming issue, although I'm not altogether sure what that is.


03-10-2005, 01:21 PM
Hmmmm, maybe it is a passing phase. I would like to think so.

03-11-2005, 10:37 AM
At a church I attended for many, many, years, after I had my WLS, people would come up to me and note that another lady we all knew, who had had a different WLS "was gaining" and for me not to let that happen to me. I was absolutely appalled that these women would say such a thing. This woman had lost a great deal of weight, and everyone was so complimentary toward her while she was losing. I cannot imagine how horrified she would be to have heard those comments. At that point she had regained some, but certainly not a large amount. It could very well have been a small rebound weight gain after hitting her all time low.

I'm sure the people who pointed it out to me meant well (most people do), but I hated that they talked about her in that way, and that they felt it was okay to do so. These are women who would generally have tried only to be kind and uplifting and not pass around negative gossip.

I think there is such a negative connotation with overweight in our society that it really is somehow perceived as okay to bash the overweight, in a society where political correctness is taken to almost insane limits, somehow the overweight do not even merit the most basic of human dignity. It is sad.

Perhaps because people really do not understand WLS, how difficult it is, and that it is really not a "free ride", that only adds to the perception. Perhaps they feel we do not "own" or "deserve" our weight loss.

I went to weight watchers with several ladies from work. My weight had been stable for over two years at that point. When I had gained weight over the holidays, that was fair game. But when I lost at WW, more than they did (even though they snuck junk at work all the time and daily bemoaned how they had been off program, and I stuck to it determinedly and exercised my behiney off, and they knew this), when they would maintain or gain, and I would lose, my losses were somehow negated by the previous WLS.

So, the gains are my "fault" but the losses have nothing to do with my food and exercise lifestyle choices. Not fair, not true, but that seems to be the perception.

Ya know what though? What "they" think doesn't matter. What I think matters. I do think we should try to influence others with our positive stories. I do think we should share, and let people know WLS is not "easy", is not "the easy way out", and that a lifetime of good choices are needed in order to be healthy, but I think our scope is limited, and we need to internalize that knowledge, to somehow protect ourselves from the venom sometimes passed around.

Hugs to you all,


03-11-2005, 11:04 AM
oh dawna - i think i'm going to try to make this required reading for everyone i know - surgery or not!!!

thank you thank you thank you!!!

03-11-2005, 03:54 PM
Aw, that's awful Dawna. And in the most inappropriate place to judge someone, as well, for the ladies from church. As for the WW experiences, I hope you don't consider those people friends. Sometimes (not always) it comes down to who wants it more. But, you still have to take care of youself and respect yourself.