Weight Loss Surgery - What do you say?

View Full Version : What do you say?

03-01-2005, 05:17 PM
The other day Allen and I went out to dinner with the surgeon who did my wls, and his wife. Allen and the surgeon were stationed together in Iraq, so they are friends. My husband knows all the surgeons here, so we would be hard pressed to find a doctor who he didn't know. Anyway, Allen told me that this guy was the only one he would have trusted messing around with my innards.

Anyway, usually when I go out to to eat, the waitress always asks me if there is something wrong with my meal. I've gotten very use to it by now. My stock reply is, that I'm just not all that hungry today, but the meal is wonderful. This meal was no exception, except this time when she asked if there was something wrong with it, I didn't know what to say. I kind of stammered a little bit, but ended up just telling her the same thing I usually say. It just felt very akward having a meal with my surgeon. There was a part of me that wanted to tell the waitress that I had wls, and this is the guy that I can thank for it. I didn't of course, but I just feel this huge sense of gratitude, that I don't completely feel comfortable expressing. What would you have said to the waitress? We will, more than likely, be in more social settings with him, so I just need to find a comfort zone within myself I guess. It's the first time that I've seen him since he took out the drain, several months ago. I avoided the surgery subject and so did he. I'm hoping that I didn't come off being ungreatful. At the end of them meal, both guys were arguing about who would pick up the tab. So, I interjected and said, "We are picking up the meal, you did my surgery and I didn't pay you for it (military hospital)." His wife then made the statement that the government paid for it. Then I replied, "Yes, but they didn't pay nearly what it was worth." There wasn't any more discussion about it after that. It's the best I can think to say without gushing and coming across as being a total goof ball.

03-02-2005, 05:53 AM
monica - i'll bet thatyour surgeon is just busting with pride over your progress, and your grace. i've eaten around my surgeon, and it's a little weird. i don't know what i would have done if i'd had to do it just a little while after surgery... you're in a tough position. after all, ladies - what would we all do if we were in social situations with our gynecologists?????? so follow your instincts. and know that he's taking good care of you.

as for the waitress, an interesting question. in restaurants i visit fairly often, i usually take one or two of them aside and tell them what's happened, and enlist their support. they can provide HUGE amounts of help to you - like making sure your meat is cooked EXACTLY the way you want it [i can't eat meat any more cooked than rare these days], and making sure you have enough gravy. they'll help you get child portions, if that's what you want, and if you ask for a half-serving of, say, pasta as a side dish, they'll see that you get it, and not the full serving.

one place around here has a delicious breakfast called mangu. it's dominican. and it's an enormous platter of mashed plaintains cooked with onions, topped with dominican salami and fried cheese. they see me coming, and they prepare a half portion. even a half portion is enough for another protein serving and the plaintains are enough for at least 3 more meals for me...

but at restaurants i don't usually go to, i'm quieter. and sometimes i order something smaller, or go through the half-size serving or something.

you did a fabulous job. you handled everything just fine. remember, the important thing is your health and well being, and you did what you had to do - very politely..

03-05-2005, 05:29 PM
The reason a wait person will ask if there's anything wrong with your food if you don't eat most of it is that the restaurant wants to know! That's a sign of a good restaurant, or at least a good server. The point isn't to be nosy or imply that you SHOULD eat more, just that if you only eat a little there may be something wrong with it, or perhaps you just didn't like it, but were too shy to say anything. If there's a problem they'd want to let the kitchen know, and if it was just not to your taste they might offer you something else to make you a happy customer. I think your reply of reassuring them that it's wonderful but you're just not hungry enough to eat much is fine.

Also, as Jiffy says, there's no reason you can't ask for accomodations when ordering. I'm not a WLS patient so I have no physical restrictions, but I'm constantly ordering appetizers instead of entrees, ordering off the kids' menu, no sauce, dressing on the side, half portions, etc. etc. Most good restaurants are very accomodating, and you don't have to give them a medical history. It doesn't matter WHY you want it, as long as you ask nicely.

03-06-2005, 10:20 AM
Here's an idea. When you order your meal ask the to bring out one of those styrofoam containers at the same time so you can shove what you don't want in there right away..or bring a container of your own, NO one has to know ;) By the time they turn around it will look like you ate your entire meal :s: :s: :s:

Your doing wonderful Monica keep it up, you don't owe anyone an excuse, remember that.


03-07-2005, 02:13 AM
Jiffy, I can have pasta?!?!?1 I was told I could never have it again. And if you've successfully eaten it, how long should I wait? Does it also depend on the type of WLS? I had RNY bypass.


03-07-2005, 10:15 AM
Angie - i didn't even TRY pasta until i was 2 years out!!!!! and it tasted DISGUSTING. don't get excited here! for right now, it doesn't exist for you.

and some people believe that we should never ever eat it again, unless it's whole wheat pasta... so, darlin. please try not to think about it.

03-07-2005, 01:50 PM
Ok, just checking, Jiff! Thanks.