100 lb. Club - Pet Peeves




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jillybean720
02-15-2005, 12:49 PM
I happen to have many pet peeves about weight loss. The one that really stands out for me right now is people who try to sympathize with you to make you feel better but actually make you feel worse! Example: I have a friend from college who is maybe 10 pounds overweight, if that. Anytime the subject of exercise or dieting comes up, she talks about how she has to lose so much weight and how hard it is and blah blah blah. I realize that whether you're trying to lose 5 pounds or 500 pounds, it is difficult to lose weight. I also realize that she is not doing this to patronize me, but rather to make me feel like she is right there suffering with me so I don't feel alone. However, it actually just makes me WISH I only had 10 pounds to lose!

Share some of your weight loss pet peeves! I have about a million, and I don't want to feel like the only crazy one!:dizzy:


dragonwoman64
02-15-2005, 01:43 PM
Share some of your weight loss pet peeves! I have about a million, and I don't want to feel like the only crazy one!:dizzy:


I hear you on that one. I know it must be tough to face even a 10 lb loss, but I can't help feeling like having 100 plus to lose is a different animal.

I have a relative who keeps giving us candy and cookies when he knows I'm trying to lose weight. It really annoys me, and I don't want it to be a big issue so a couple of times I've just thrown it away. Hello, it is possible to give someone a non-food item gift. :dizzy:

jillybean720
02-15-2005, 01:47 PM
Haha, I hear that! My mom made an effort one Christmas--she bought me sugar-free candy. It was pretty gross, though. At least she tried :p


Jillegal
02-15-2005, 02:24 PM
I've been mentally counting up all my weight-loss pet peeves and lost count after 20, but the one that's bothering me the most right now is the "Oh c'mon, just have one, one won't hurt" line. I try to explain that for me some things (such as potato chips) are pretty much like booze to an alcoholic and "just one" can set off uncontrollable behaviour. :bomb:

At Christmas a co-worker practically stalked me with his wife's pineapple whipped cream cake, imploring me to have just a little "taste", implying that his (or his wife's) feelings would otherwise be hurt. I caved and had a spoonful and it WAS delicious, but that one little taste provided no satisfaction and, in fact, resulted in feelings of deprivation (and could have led to a binge). I wish that people could understand that I'd rather just avoid this sort of thing all together. :snooty:

kykaree
02-15-2005, 02:40 PM
[QUOTE=Jillegal] the one that's bothering me the most right now is the "Oh c'mon, just have one, one won't hurt" line. I try to explain that for me some things (such as potato chips) are pretty much like booze to an alcoholic and "just one" can set off uncontrollable behaviour. :bomb:QUOTE]

Yep my team leader bought cookies for us all this week, she knows I am working hard on my weight loss and was on at me to have one. There is no way I would have one cookie, I would have another and another, but what I don't have , I don't miss (this of course, does not apply to chocolate!!!!)

My other peeve is that gyms etc are full of thin people. I am trying to find a like minded (and waisted) people to exercise with, and no one will come with me, because they feel uncomfortable. So I go on my own, which is fine, I am ok with that, but it just seems stupid that those who really need it are discouraged. I don't know what the answer is, but I can moan without having a solution!!!!

Finally why are fattening foods so much easier to obtain than healthy ones?? If I am hungry at the end of the work day and want something ready prepared, why do I have to either cook something myself or jeaopordise my healthy eating plan by having something unsuitable.

boiaby
02-15-2005, 02:49 PM
Here are a few that come to mind:

"How much longer are you gonna be on a diet?" Uh, the rest of my life! :rolleyes:

"Can you eat that?" I can eat anything I want, I just choose not to when it comes to most unhealthy foods.

"C'mon, one bite won't hurt you." I hate this one, why can't some people just take no for an answer?

"You've lost too much, when are you gonna stop, how much do you weigh now?" None'ya business! I'm a healthy weight for my age and height and that's all that matters.

I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of right now. :dizzy:

Beverly

howie6267
02-15-2005, 04:11 PM
My biggest one and I just bloged about this is "I bet you feel so much better". No I feel lousy I wish I could just gain the weight back. How do you think I feel. Of course I feel better. I know people are just being supportive but think of something better to ask.

I've not run into to many of the ones trying to get me to eat. So that has not been an issue with me. Like one girl I work with she is on day shift. She eats healthy and sometimes will have a sandwich or something left over. She will always ask me if I have any calories left and then ask if I want whatever it is she has. So most people at work are very supportive. When there are dougnuts and stuff they don't even try to offer.

missaprylj
02-15-2005, 06:33 PM
"You don't need to lose any weight! You are beautiful."


Thanks, but, I don't enjoy being OBESE, yes, I do *need* to lose weight. I know they're just trying to compliment me or whatever, but it really gives the opposite effect.

jillybean720
02-15-2005, 11:19 PM
Wow, I definitely agree with the "just one won't hurt," but Apryl's really hits home for me. As much as I love hearing people tell me I'm beautiful just the way I am, I know that I am (or at least am well on the way to becoming) unhealthy! Don't tell me I don't need to lose weight when I can't even wear a 26/28 button-front shirt from WalMart (depressing little discovery from a few days ago).

Another that was REALLY rough on me in college and is somewhat similar was the good ol' "it's what's on the inside that counts." Yes, that is true, personality is more important than appearance. HOWEVER, physical appearance is the first impression you make on others, and most guys my age aren't so willing to look past it (unless they are forced to actually get to know me by hanging out with mutual friends, etc.). I don't know how many times I have played the role of the fat friend while all the guys came up and talked to my thin friends, ignoring me. Luckily, I now have a wonderful boyfriend who was worth the wait :love: but it was still extremely difficult and depressing at the time.

SwimGirl
02-16-2005, 01:16 AM
My all time worst story is when a girl at work literally pinned me down and forced a cookie into my mouth. Ugh! And this other girl at work likes to tell me how it's not healthy for me to quit eating sugar, wheat and quit caffiene. I know these things at bad for me, and they make me sick.. so it's a GOOD idea to quit them! And where do they get off telling me taking Calcium is BAD for me, and vitamin C? I thought these were GOOD things to take?!?!?! ARGH! Oops sorry, I'm venting!

-Aimee

barbygirl43
02-16-2005, 12:16 PM
I guess I've been fairly blessed this time because these past few months I haven't really had any peeves. In the beginning, I got several of the "just one bite won't hurt yous."

I'm sure as I get closer to my goal, I will start having several of Beverly's peeves but I'll have lots of time to come up with some witty responses :)

jillybean720
02-17-2005, 09:00 AM
Ugh, a good one not about losing weight but about being overweight. I hate walking into stores and having the people who work there give me a funny look because of my size. This happens to me all the time at stores like Express (where I shop for friends) and Pacific Sunwear (which I like for tongue rings and other accessories) where all of the female associates probably weigh 110 soaking wet. I know it shouldn't bother me that they are so superficial and insensitive, but I don't like the feeling.

One day, I'd like to go into one of these stores and just pick up a bunch of size 2 clothes and go into the dressing room to see what they do. Then I could bring a piece of fabric with me in my purse and tear it while I'm in the dressing room so they could hear it, then come out and hand them the tiny clothes and ask, "do you have this in a 4?" I only wish I had the nerve :p

tlcstar
02-17-2005, 09:43 AM
This one could be overly picky, but....

I really hate it when people go on and on about how great I look...now. Saying it once would be enough, I know they mean well, but it gets me thinking that I must have really looked like **** before!!

Jill-- I love your idead about the dressing room, go for it!!

djs06
02-17-2005, 11:12 AM
Jill, :rofl: that is genius, but it sure would take a lot of guts. I definitely know what you mean. The tiny little peanut friend (hehe) I usually shop with LOVES those stores, and I either get the pity look or the disgusted "what is SHE doing here" look. I guess it sort of is a pet peeve that shopping buddy doesn't even notice, even if I know it's just because she's never had to deal with it. :shakes fist:

Jillegal
02-17-2005, 12:43 PM
Oh Jbean, that idea is priceless - you have to do it!! :devil:

I hear you, tlcstar. Sometimes you want to say "Shut up already" when they say things like "Oh gawd, you look sooooooooooooo much better now" - makes me feel like I was vomit inducing before. :rolleyes:

Another peeve along those lines is how people think its okay, once you've lost a lot of weight, to make disparaging comments about your former look, such as "Oh yeah, you could really fill up an armchair", or worse, "I couldn't believe how fat you'd let yourself get" - ummm...people? :ziplip: I'm still the SAME PERSON now as I was then - you wouldn't dream of saying those things to me then (well, to my face, anyway) what makes you think its any less insensitive or mean to say it now?? Do they honestly think my feelings aren't hurt hearing that?? :soap:

Hey, venting pet peeves can be liberating! :lol:

SwimGirl
02-17-2005, 02:58 PM
This girl I USED to be friends with told me I was ugly when I was thinner and fitter, and that I'm so much better as a fat person. How weird is that? I honestly have NO idea if there was some other reason why she would say that, I don't look good fat!

I work in a clothing store :( And when really skinny women come into my store (it's a plus size store), I look at them probably with a little disgust. I'm sorry, I'm one of those people, please don't beat me up! ;) But something I do notice is that I got "that look" that you guys are talking about even when I was a size 8-10, I was so sensitive about being "fat" thats perhaps any look they gave me would have bothered me? I am not justifying their behavior at all.. just wonder about my behavior sometimes.

-Aimee

jillybean720
02-17-2005, 03:03 PM
Aimee,

If I had to guess, I'd say it sounds like you ex-friend was JEALOUS of the thinner you! You probably gave her too much competition, and she wasn't used to it. I'd take it as a compliment, since she apparently thinks thin you looks better than her! :D

slimmingsi
02-17-2005, 07:23 PM
my all time number one weight/weightloss annoyance is fat kids who's parents feed them crap and say they have got medical problems!

howie6267
02-17-2005, 07:27 PM
I cringe when I see a fat child now. I feel so bad knowing what they will go through. I just want to yell at there parents. That's one reason I'm glad I don't have kids. I'm afraid that are habits would rub off on them and they would have to go through the same pain I have.

SuchAPrettyFace
02-17-2005, 07:46 PM
Every time I start to get somewhere w/my weight loss, my mom start whipping out some of my favorite desserts & meals. Peanut Butter Brownies, Norwegian Pizza, fudge, oyster crackers w/ranch dressing, hot crab dip, spinach artichoke dip, you name it.

Goddess Jessica
02-18-2005, 03:32 AM
Ok - for Jillegal and Jilly - my favorite thing to say on those occasion when you're in a store that gives you that *look* for being there. When they ask how they can help, I usually counter with, "Yes, could you have your designers make some sizes that are for real women?" or "Yes, I'm looking for your plus size section? Oh, you don't have one? Why not?" That one really baffles them. Yes, I say these things. Often. The Cute Boyfriend hates shopping with me. :P

My pet peeve - my mother ALWAYS comments on the weight I've lost... even when I've gained! "Oh Jessica, you look so great. How much have you lost?" I know, it doesn't sound terrible but when you know that it's just a mother's love (and she's a stick) - it feels so artificial. So when it is true, i doubt that the change is obvious.

jillybean720
02-18-2005, 07:29 AM
my all time number one weight/weightloss annoyance is fat kids who's parents feed them crap and say they have got medical problems!

I soooooo agree! Now, I have been fat pretty much my whole life (since I was about 5 or 6, I think--as long as I can remember, anyway). I grew up in a very rushed household. My mother ran a daycare out of our home when I was little, so it was mac n' cheese, cookies, cupcakes, sugary juices, you name it. By the time I was in third grade, I was noticably larger than the other kids and would get made fun of on almost a daily basis. When I was in middle school and would come home crying because of what other kids had said to me, my mother would tell me that I still had "baby fat" to grow out of. How she could just make excuses to a crying child instead of trying to help, I will never know (unless she was in denial). She is also overweight, so I would think she would try her best to have healthy children so, like Howie said, they wouldn't have to go through the same things!

When I get really down now, I sometimes blame my parents for my weight problems. They certainly didn't help while I was ballooning beyond 250 pounds before graduating from high school. However, I now have no one to blame but myself, for once I realized I was unhealthy, I should have turned it around right then instead of letting it continue. It's just so much easier to blame someone else. I hope to have healthy AND happy children--a seemingly rare combination today :halfempty

teapotdynamo
02-18-2005, 10:25 AM
My pet peeve - my mother ALWAYS comments on the weight I've lost... even when I've gained! "Oh Jessica, you look so great. How much have you lost?" I know, it doesn't sound terrible but when you know that it's just a mother's love (and she's a stick) - it feels so artificial. So when it is true, i doubt that the change is obvious.

That is soooo weird, but my mother-in-law used to do it all the time, too! Even when I had gained weight, the first thing out of her mouth was always, "you've lost weight!!!" I figured out that, since she has also struggled with her weight, this was the nicest thing she could think of saying, but but it always made me feel very self-concious.

On the other hand, it sure was fun the last time I saw her when I'd actually lost 40 pounds, and I knew she *meant* it that time! :lol: :lol: :lol:

frenchiepolarbear
02-18-2005, 11:20 AM
I cringe when I see a fat child now. I feel so bad knowing what they will go through. I just want to yell at there parents. That's one reason I'm glad I don't have kids. I'm afraid that are habits would rub off on them and they would have to go through the same pain I have.


I have asked myself the question why parents can let their kids become severly obese. I got my answer watching a documentary on National televison. The documentary pointed The refusal for parents to see that there is a problem, …..There is a “my kids cannot have any problems” attitude. Over my teenage and early adult years, I did not receive serious comments from my parents about my weight and there was absolutely no control as to what I was eating….

On a more personal level, I come from a very conservative environment, and having open discussions about weight problems, the reasons why I was overating was just an impossible thing for my parents to do..

As I was getting around 320-330 pounds, 3 years ago there were some comments from my parents about my weight; but still when I went visit them, I was getting my square foot of lasagna….The only change in my parents attitude occurred when I told them I had hypertension and high Cholesterol….Then and only then they admitted that weight problems can jeopardize my quality of life. Suddenly, their attitude changed and they serve more healthy foods in reasonable portions when I go visit them….

howie6267
02-18-2005, 12:14 PM
That's good that they are making those changes Frenchiepolarbear. My mom always strugled with weight herself so I can see why she was not able to help me. So I don't blame her. I do blame myself as Jill was saying for not taking control sooner. I still just want to smack parents and tell them to wake up and do somthing. Again that is why I'm glad I'm not responsible for any little ones.

jillybean720
02-18-2005, 12:26 PM
I absolutely blame myself for not making the change sooner, but I also know why I didn't: fear. This may be the same for almost anyone who has been overweight their entire lives. I had always been overweight and had blamed the majority of my problems on my size (lack of popularity, not making sports teams, not getting the lead in the school musical, not getting attention from guys, and so on and so on...). Therefore, my FEAR was two-fold:

1.) That I would lose weight and things would be so much better in my life, which would be depressing because I would see how truly superficial and closed-minded the people around me were.

2.) That I would lose weight and NOTHING would change, which would mean there was something else wrong with me!--and who wants to face that realization?

So, as you can see, I pretty much made it a lose-lose situation for myself. I have since had many successes in life that have changed my outlook, but for those still extremely depressed or unfortunate, it can be insanely difficult to get back on top and take control. It's amazing what attitude can either keep you from or help you in accomplishing.

dragonwoman64
02-19-2005, 02:35 PM
This is an interesting thread.

Well, it's tough to start getting into the blame issue, then it leads to obsessions that are unhelpful, that's been my experience at least. And don't be too hard on yourself, jill, I don't think it's so easy for a teenager to be able to make all those types of realizations and act on them successfully, especially if there isn't much support around.

As for being big, and judging other large sized people, there's still a lot of social pressures against fatness and just because I'm fat, doesn't mean I'm necessarily immune to it (falling into the same thinking).

I do wish that people who have embarrassed me, in restaurants and clothing stores, could know how mortifying that type of behavior has been to me, and has made me feel like hiding away. The ironic thing about it is that probably just about everyone experiences it in one form or another. So, I guess compassion is just hard to come by at times.

In the park one day I saw a (very harried) mom with a crying little girl. She pulled out a cookie and stuck it in the little girl's mouth, which immediately stopped the crying (she sat down and happily ate the cookie). I was mortified by that, because all I could think was that that little girl might develop the habit of thinking that food -- junky sugary fattening food -- was the pacifier of choice when she was feeling emotionally unhappy. That was *my* childhood experience and so many years of suffering with food and my weight, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

jillybean720
02-19-2005, 06:42 PM
Marge, you bring up a good point about "pacifier food" for children. Another issue I always had is that junk food is so often used as a reward. I remember in school, when the class did something really well, we would have cookies or cupcakes or even a pizza or ice cream sundae party. I remember I HATED the dentist when I was little (still do), so after my dentist appointment, my mom would get me McDonald's for dinner. Things like that make children associate junk food with good behavior and/or a job well done. If only I could have a big ol' ice cream sundae every time I lost a pound :p Sometimes it's hard to think of other ways to reward myself now. I barely have enough money to put gas in my car on a weekly basis, let alone "splurge" on shoes or vacations or anything when I'm trying to celebrate a successful weight loss (or celebrate anything else either, for that matter). Ahh well, I suppose my increased energy and healthier lifestyl should be their own reward :^:

dragonwoman64
02-20-2005, 01:53 PM
Another issue I always had is that junk food is so often used as a reward. If only I could have a big ol' ice cream sundae every time I lost a pound :p Sometimes it's hard to think of other ways to reward myself now. I barely have enough money to put gas in my car on a weekly basis, let alone "splurge" on shoes or vacations or anything when I'm trying to celebrate a successful weight loss (or celebrate anything else either, for that matter). Ahh well, I suppose my increased energy and healthier lifestyl should be their own reward :^:

:lol: re: the chocolate sundae reward. It is hard to shake that thinking loose (shake, as in chocolate shake??). Sometimes with the rewards I feel guilty, because we're trying to save money (though I don't pick expensive things). I think a splurge can be going to the park and having a relaxing afternoon sitting on the grass. Ok, where did that come from, it's 30 degrees outside here right now. Well, anyway, going someplace nice that's free or cheap. Even a day at the mall window shopping can be a reward. Or a bubblebath and a night of tv. It's hard work keeping to my program, and it helps me mentally to get the little rewards.

slimmingsi
02-20-2005, 03:49 PM
u see them ramming there faces with salt drenched grease. guzzling coke and the such like they live off it and need it to survive then waddling over to get and ice cream. then waddling back squeezing into a seat and munching away and i sit and think heart attack!

Br00klyn
02-20-2005, 11:03 PM
Very interesting thread!

I agree with a lot of the pet peeves already named on here... but for my personal self, the biggest is the looks I get when I go into a regular size clothing store (especially lingerie), and the sales girls are probably asking themselves in their head why I'm even in there. Another one, definetly the fat kids... or the overweight parents themselves that continue to eat horribly. There's one lady at work, and her and her family are very very heavy - she always whines about how its health problems then I see her having a Big Mac Meal Supersized, or Pizza, or anything else thats horrible for you for lunch!

And, another main one is I think I will be a little self-concious when I do lose the weight I want - I mean I'm sure i'll love the "You look great" comments but not so sure about when people ask about how much I lost, and tell me how much better I must feel?!

Anyways... i'm rambling so outta this thread I go. :)

dragonwoman64
02-21-2005, 01:22 PM
One thing that's a little tough for me is that I give myself one meal off program a week, usually at a restaurant. I order a burger and fries sometimes, depending on what restaurant we go to. I can tell every once in a while that the waitress is judging what I've ordered, because I'm large I shouldn't be eating that. I wish, personally, that people in public didn't feel like what I eat is for them to pass judgment on. It's a sore topic for me.

jillybean720
02-21-2005, 03:46 PM
I totally hear you, Marge. Actually, I never really felt I had gotten funny looks or anything at restaurants (I used to be a waitress, so I guess I may be somewhat immune to it) until I started eating out with my boyfriend on Friday nights. In his job, he works with a lot of sales people who take him out for big expensive lunches on most Fridays. By the time dinner time rolls around, I am practically starving, but he's just barely starting to get hungry. As a result, I will order a burger or chicken sandwich and fries, while he (who does not need to diet) orders like an entree salad. It's the little role reversal of the girl ordering the bigger meal and the man ordering a salad that makes me feel more self-conscious when ordering at restaurants, but that's the one meal a week I really allow myself to splurge, and I eat fewer calories throughout the day to at least help make up for it.

slimmingsi
02-23-2005, 08:21 PM
simple if you get funny looks of people dont' tip :-D i once got a look of a girl in pub when i ordered the 24oz tbone steak (blue ofcourse blood gives flavour) piled high with greasey chips and fried eggs she looked at me and then the plate then back to me with a great disghust in her face. didn't bother me though she was a stick insect you could tell there were more calories on that plate than she'd had all month