Support Groups - Chit Chat #107

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01-23-2005, 04:42 PM
Welcome to the Jaded Ladies Club! :wave:

We are a friendly group that provides support, not just in weight loss, but in all of our daily joys and struggles. Please feel free to join us. :)

01-23-2005, 06:14 PM
Hello ladies--

Cristi--Yep, Walmart. Good Ol' Walmart. I'm always amazed when I hear people at work who refuse to shop at walmart...but that's what they do. I shop because it's cheaper than other places and I like to save my money. But back to the pedometer. $3 roughly. James said they had a lot over there. I told him he should get one for himself! He's constantly walking up and down the rails at work. I wonder how many steps he takes while he's at work!

Ellen--I know you'll be sad when your DD moves, but at least you know she has this wonderful BF. And as the others'll be a wonderful MIL. I'm hoping that the snow you have won't come down this way to Oregon. We've been having unusually warm weather here. My rose bush is still blooming pretty roses.

Jane--You were up late last night weren't you? Were you able to get much sleep? I didn't watch any movies last night. I called up Jhanai around 5 to see how she was doing and she was in Creswell (about 5miles from me) at her grandparents while her dad was working on his truck, so I went over there and picked her up for a few hours. Took her back about 10 just as her dad was thinking of finishing up. So I got to spend some time w/her. Tonight another story...have to find a good movie.

Pam--James fixed our computer...did something and it works faster now. The only thing that I don't have is IM. (instant messaging) So that's ok for now. As long as I'm not tapping my foot waiting for the page to load up!!

Katie--How are you doing? You mentioned your anniversary in March. What day? Mine & James is on March 24th. Our first wedding anniversary! I'm still trying to figure out what we want to do (notice I say I'M) since we have to schedule the days off a month ahead of time. Very frustrating. And trying to figure out what day James can get off is also frustrating........I'll figure it out though.

James got his call to go to work. So I wasn't able to do anything with him this weekend. I was wanting to at least go out for breakfast or lunch for my birthday. But that's ok. I can stay home and mope! :D

I need to get dressed and cleaned up...I may go see my sister and the baby today. Not sure yet, since it's already pass noon.

I'll check in later.

01-23-2005, 09:23 PM
I ,for one, love Walmart. It's this century's Sears. Where eles would the elderly and handicapped be so welcome as employees? They give them stock options and many fringe benifits. These are mostly people who are unskilled or for other reason unemployable by most companies. I think Walmart is getting a raw deal in the press. Those that refuse to shop there are those who can afford to pay 50$ for a blender at a highend store. I can't. Boy, was that just a "rant"? :^:

Tried to push my walk to an hour. It did not go well. Half way though I got an low-blood sugar attack. Haven't had one of those in a long time. Rested for a while before truging back home. Wondered if I'd make it but I did. My son says I'm not to go that far again. He doesn't want to scrape me off the street.

Well girls,thats all for now. See you in the AM. Pam

01-23-2005, 10:34 PM
Checking in again to see how everyone is doing. Must be enjoying your Sunday!!

Pam--I hope you're feeling better after your walk! That's scary. Any way you can prevent that from happening again?? Next time, grab your son and walk together!

Finished cleaning my kitchen. I kind of put that room on the back burner...but today I couldn't ignore it. Drove me crazy. It's not like I had tons of dishes or counters are just cluttered w/non-kitchen items! We accumulate to much junk!! Most of it's done. Other things that I've left, I need to have James tell me if it's something he needs or wants to keep. Other than that.....I'm finished.

Well I hope everyone is well and had a great weekend.

take care girls

01-24-2005, 09:58 AM
Good morning!
:coffee: doing my usual Monday morning routine....just waiting for the :coffee: to finish perking. I attended my church book group last night..and was up past my bedtime :blah: we were discussing Life of Pi and really got into it. It really is a modern classic. I've read and discussed it now with two different book groups and both concluded it has a life-changing message.

Today Leigh and I are off to Salem to to visit with my Grandma. Last time I was there, I accidentally walked off with her cellphone as it looked just like mine, so now I finally have a chance to return it. Fortunately it's a phone she seldom uses.

Marti - your kitchen cleaning tear is motivating me to do the same. I have a lot of cupboard space, so I keep my appliances in the cupboards....I also don't like cluttered counters. What I need to do is wash down the cupbards and clean the floor. Seems like I just DID that..... :dizzy: Glad you got to spend some extra time with Jhanai.

Re: each their own I guess. Pam I know you mean well, but I can't afford to shop high end and I stay away from walmart. I am a frugal person and I make out just fine saving money without a Walmart, but I think that is also because I live in a city and Walmart business strategy is to put their stores in suburban and rural areas. I do not live near one and it is just as well. I have been in one exactly once in my entire life and it gave me the creeps. I know they are not all like that. I have read articles about their business practices that would make your hair curl...but, you know... that's free enterprise folks. I figure if they are that'll get 'em one of these days and they are not the only company out there that provides less than stellar working conditions. Just wanted to let you know a little about where the other side is coming from on this. I do know that where many people live, Walmart is the only game in town and I do agree people should be saving their money and not blowing it on if shopping Walmart helps people met their financial goals, then that's great.

Pam - that fall sounded scary... It's so great thatyou are out and walking again, but please be careful. Maybe you should walk after ameal, so your blood sugar doesn't go nuts on you?

Leigh just got up and she's fussing, so I'll be back!

01-24-2005, 10:35 AM
Good morning ladies!

Katy - hope you have a good visit with your grandma and return her cell phone, lol. I have to admit, I haven't heard of the book Life of Pi. Is this something I'd enjoy?

Marti - yes, I had a sleepless Sat. night. :( Sometimes when I wake to use the bathroom, I just can't get back to sleep, so I usually just get up and find something to do. I need to get back to the spring cleaning in my kitchen. Sounds like you and Katy both dislike cluttered countertops as much as me!

Pam - hope you're feeling better today. My blood sugar used to dip before I went on WW. Just dawned on me that I very seldom have that problem anymore, unless I'm running late for my meal or snack.

Hi to all the other JLs! :wave:

I'm hesitant to say much about Walmart but I will say this - if I had another place to go for the same prices, I know I'd ditch them. They don't give back to the community like all other stores do - no taxes is part of their deal with the city fathers - and I know they got sued for making their emplyees work off the clock. My sister worked there briefly and was made to do this, so I know it was nation-wide. But like Marti says, we're all trying to get the most for our money. I could go on and on about how they raise prices and then mark them down, but I won't.

That's my 2¢ worth, lol.

Had a great weekend with Neal, planning his retirement. He gives his official notice today. That has to be scary and exciting, both, for a man who has taught at the same university for 31 years.


01-24-2005, 12:26 PM
:coffee2: Good Morning Girls.Our weather is dropping today,only suppose to be 74 with possible rain tomarrow. Not going to push myself so far today. I have to adjust my thinking.Losing 1 lb isn't so bad. :p

Eddie's off today and he'll spend part of it at restoring the appearance of the arcade game. There are quit a few chores around the yard he has to do to.He's trying to talk me into a racier car like a Camero.

About Walmart, maybe I don't know as much as I thought I did. I pay taxes so I don't like the idea of someone not paying. :nono:

Marti,Junk,Don't you hate it? I have a rule. If I haven't used or touched something in over a year out it goes. I either toss it or give it to someone. I can't stand clutter.Everything has a place and a purpose or eles. :devil:

Katy, how nice to still have a Grandma.I assume she's a lovely person for you to be visiting her. Mine was scary. She'd save the leftovers for a week, then make soup and insist we all come over and eat it. :yikes:

Ellen, where are youuuu. :wave:

01-24-2005, 01:47 PM
Hey Girls

Well, sorry its been a few days, so Ill need to catch up on my posts for personals!!! We had a blizzard here over the weekend, topped off with 3 feet of snow...I did make it to work today but it was slow moving!!!The governor declared a state of emergency and asked businesses to close, so people would stay off the road...but not my good ole job!! I got to work late, because Ive been snowed in for the last 2 days with my friends kids!!!! It was so bad that I couldnt take them home yesterday, so I had to keep them over night again and bring them back this morning!!!
As far as my weigh in goes....not too happy here!!! The scale said I weighed 4 lbs heavier than last week's 198, which is crazy cause I didnt snack, I worked out all week last week, and ate totally healthy...Im hoping its just water weight or something, cause theres no way I gained weight last week!!! :?: .....
JANE: I did see that your DH has decided to retire...Good for him!!! Maybe you guys can really start enjoying your time together now.....!!!

Well back to work for now...just 1 more hour to go!!!!

01-24-2005, 02:50 PM
Hiya ladies~

RE: Wal-mart, like Jane, if there was somewhere else for me to shop and get the same prices I definitely would do so. We do have a few stores, the local Dillions (Kroger) which is waaaaay to high. I only go there if I forgot something when buying groceries or I am out of something, it's closer and faster than go to Wal-mart. I do shop at Target and like them a lot better but not for groceries. They don't have the selection as the other stores. We also have a Food 4 Less which I won't walk into! ICK! I think no matter where you shop there are going to be issues about something. I am always getting e-mails about boycotting this place and that place, or this product and that product etc. Anyway...

Jane~that is cool that you and Neal were planing his retirement bet it is a little scary at the same time. I mean after working for so many years and then not. Anyway, I know you guys will enjoy each others company and have a nice time traveling. Now will Katie be going off to college next year?

Marti~did you go see your sis yesterday? Now is this the one who just had the baby? Glad you got some extra time with Jhanai.

Julie~be careful in this weather. Just saw on the news all the snow! I am keeping my fingers :crossed: that we don't get anything like that or what Jane got a while back. I am happy with the 50 degree weather we are having. Sorry about the scales, don't know what to say about that. I did have that happen once to me and I knew there was no way because I did stay OP, just figured it was the scales. The next WI it was back down plus some so then I knew it was the scales. So hopefully it was just your wacky scales.

Ellen~thank you for the well wishes. I know like you I don't know if I will ever be ready for my kids to leave. But I know I have to let go. I just hope when they all move out they don't go to far. When my oldest went off to college in VA at the age of 18 that killed me. It was toooo far away and I didn't think he was ready for that. Of course after a semester he was back home. So hopefully your DD will be close to you in distance. Sounds like she has a great guy tho and I think that makes a mom feel better. A very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her tomorrow!

Katy~hope DH grandma is better. Pneumonia scares me, DH#1 almost died from it. I am going to have to see what this Life of Pi is all about, sounds interesting.

Pam~there ya go, a camero is what ya need! I had a '87 and I swear everytime I stopped at a light or stop sign I always had some kid reeving his engine. :lol: I am serious. For the most part tho they really are nice cars. Had to get rid of it because it just wasn't a family car but I did love that car! It was my BD present from DH. Anyway, hope you are feeling better and hey losing a pound is GREAT! :bravo: Every pound adds up missy.

Okay, hope I didn't miss anyone. Can't remember what all was said on the other thread. But HI to everyone else. :wave:

I am feeling a little better today. Feel a little weak but better. I did stay in bed all day yesterday and must say it was nice to have eveyrone waiting on me. :D I watched some tv, slept some, played Wheel of Fortune (handheld game), slept some, read the sunday paper, slept some more and actually slept most of the night which was good after being awake most of Saturday night. I am hoping the worst is over. The bad thing is now DD has it! Normally when one of us gets sick we don't usually pass it around but I got it from just talking and being around DS. I told V he probably should stay away from me so he doesn't get it. Of course good ole Ernie was right by my side the whole day and half the night. had to run him off when V came to bed. He doesn't like him in our room at night. Anyway...trying to get caught up on laundry. Got two loads done so far and since changing the sheets on the bed I have two more to go. Might try to straighten the house a little depending on how I feel. Don't want to do too much and getting the sheets changed and the laundry done really tired me out. I really hate being sick. Anyway, ladies hope everyone is fine and is having a nice day.

01-24-2005, 04:34 PM
Good afternoon ladies--

One thing about's the only store of that kind in my town. I prefer Target, myself. So, instead of making a 20min. trip to Eugene, I just drive around the corner or so and there it is. Anyway.....

Cristi--Glad you're feeling much better, and sorry that DD has it! Seems like it's going around. No, I didn't go to see my sister and the baby. I was too tired to go anywhere. In fact, I didn't even leave the house yesterday!! I just needed one of those days I guess! I will see her soon though.

Julie--Your weather sounds exteme!! I've been reading about Ice storms and all kinds of stuff. Just be careful getting around!! I'd hate to hear that you fell or something!

Pam--I DO hate cluttery junk! My kitchen gets it the most and that drives me crazy!! There is this one corner in my kitchen, right next to the can't see it unless you're right up on it......FULL of clutter!! But I'll work on that next weekend!

Jane--How exciting for Neil to be planning his retirement! Now, are you going to be planning a secret retirement party for him? Now, when did you say he'll be retiring, the end of the school year or the end of the year? I hope you two get to spend the retirement years getting all tan and drinking all kinds of tropical drinks!!

Katy--Have fun going to grandma's! I haven't gone to see my grandpa in weeks!! I really need to get over there. I'm thinking tomorrow would be a good day. He's always so busy and never home so taking the chance to go over there can be tricky. But I'll go tomorrow and see how he's doing.

Well it's BEAUTIFUL outside!! Sun is shining. But it's COLD!!!! (((shiver)))

Had a nice cozy fire going all night last that comfort feeling. Maybe thats why I didn't leave the house yesterday!! I have to clean myself up a bit....I may check in later.

01-24-2005, 11:44 PM
Hiya ladies,

Just popping in for a minute.... hope everyone's Monday was good.

Susan - you never did let us know how the hearing went. Hope no news is good news and all is well with you and Gaby.

Pam - a Camaro! Wish I had one!! Not exactly granddaughter-friendly, but oh well, lol. What color would you try to get?

Julie - remember when I had a 4 pound gain out of no where? It was the only time I showed a gain, and totally unjustified!! It must have been water, because I lost it, plus 2 more, the next weigh in. As long as you know it wasn't because of overeating, just know in your heart that it will come right back off, ok?

Cristi - yes, Katie will go to VU in the Fall, and will go 1/2 price while Neal is still employed there. She will have 3 college courses, 9 credit hours, under her belt before she gets out of high school. The school works with the college in getting kids with free time into classes like English Comp and other standard classes out of the way. Glad you're feeling better, friend. Don't overdo it for a few days, ok?

Marti - wah!! I miss the fireplace we had in town, and at Fern's house! Hearing you talk about it brought back memories of the crackling logs and dancing flames. I like Target's stuff, too, but sad to say, Walmart is cheaper and I don't have a Target near me! Target always has some cool gardening things that you might want to check out now that you're more into that kind of thing.

Went you-know-where and bought the DGDs some gardening gloves and 2 tiny wheelbarrows. They are so cute! But I've been talking to them about the leaves we need to rake and the flowers we'll plant. I know it's early still, but it gives us something to look forward to.

Also got Neal's valentines stuff before it gets picked over.

Take care and I'll see you mañana!

01-25-2005, 12:12 AM

Just am buried in this paperwork......

The judge didn't grant my change of venue. We had one meeting earlier before the hearing and that was so so......

Mike is a nasty person.

We had a second meeting this last Saturday and that was horrible. My mother went with me and I stayed calm with her in tow.

He left the meeting mid stream.... it is kind of funny but I was wearing my Russian ring from the Russian resident.... and pretty sure Mike saw it and just assumed that I was engaged or some darn mental warp thing only he can come up

So, he left.......I sat and talked with the mediator and came up with something to offer him.He refused though this morning. ..,,,,,when she called him. he wants sole custody.


Mediator is requesting the court a parenting evaluation - something that cost $3000 and something that I have to come up with half the cost....hahaha - like Mike will come up with half of his......

I will go back down on Monday and meet with a lawyer in Cannon Beach. My mom will pay to retain his services........thank goodness.

Exhausted.........i better go,........tons to do,,,,,,,no rest for the weary......hehehehehehe.........omg- think I am gong nuts,

chat later :)

01-25-2005, 10:42 AM
Good morning, ladies,

Susan - oh, I'm so sorry that the meetings aren't going well and that Mike is being a butthead. Mike with sole custody? HA HA HA, don't make me laugh! With Mike's past history, hopefully your new lawyer will be able to put the skids to that!! In the meantime, though, I know this has to be so hard for you. Wish I could help, Susan....

Marti - usually you check in after work... hope all is well.

I've been on the phone talking Disney talk with a friend. She and her family are going in June... which reminds me... I think I forgot to say hello to

Kathy - didn't you mention that you're going to Disneyland soon? Like you, I'm mad for the mouse, lol.

My SIL from Evansville and I are going to meet 1/2 between our homes, and have lunch. She's a sweetie and I enjoy her company so much. Gotta watch the points, though!

Have a good day and I'll bbl,

01-25-2005, 12:06 PM
good morning, Jaded Ladies :coffee:

Susan, I'm really sorry to hear the mediations are not going well. I'm glad your mom is helping with the retainer fees and the moral support. You know we are pulling for you here... :grouphug:

Ellen, hope you are doing ok up there in the Great White Frozen North. When I was weeding through about 3 weeks of chit-chat threads, I think I heard (read?) you mention a "tuque" -- that made me smile. Had no idea what it was until I married a man from Detroit, who loves hockey and whose mom is from Canada ;) He shaves his head, so he wears one every day to work -- brrr, baby it's cold outside...

Jane, don't know if you were thinking of me, but I just bought my Disneyland tickets for March yesterday -- hooray!!! Our fifth anniversary is 3/17. We are driving down late late late 3/15, and will have 5 nights at the Disneyland Hotel. Our last trip on my birthday was so much fun -- I can hardly wait! And congrats on Neal's retirement! I can hardly wait for the day I retire :) :) :)

Maybe Marti didn't pop in last night because she was Gazelling....

Regarding the Walmart son worked there for about 5 months, and their hiring practices and the way they treat their employees was not too great. He finally had to quit because they were working him over time until 2am, and his college grades were slipping -- he asked to cut his hours down, and they told him he had to quit. He was given a small raise when he went to work in the cash office, and he had to ask and ask for them to pay him from the time he started in that dept. On the other hand, though, they gave him a shot even though he is young and pretty inexperienced, and they will offer jobs for folks that are older or disabled, or even those that have a pretty checkered job history. I have a Walmart and a Target both within about a mile of my house. I go to Walmart for the cheaper prices and bigger selection, and to Target for better quality and better atmosphere. Target sure made me mad this Christmas when they banned the Salvation Army bellringers, though...

Ack, I'm off to work...hi to everyone I missed!

gotta fly (as usual) :angel:

Mary Kate

01-25-2005, 12:53 PM
:coffee2: Hello Ladies. My son hogged the PC yesterday afternoon so didn't get a chance to check in again. It was nice spending some time with him though.

Mary Kate, I want to hear all about Disneyland. Haven't been in years but can't wait to get there again.

Susan, you need a vodo doll that looks like Mike so you can stick pins in

Jane, when are you all planning you first globe trotting and where? Inquiring minds want to know.

Ellen, where are you? Come out and play?

To all the ones not mentioned above a big yoohoo. :wave:

I told my son if he insists on getting me a racy car it must be Might as well go all the way.

BBL, Pam

01-25-2005, 01:03 PM
Morning ladies~

Well, thought I was getting better...guess I spoke too soon. Spent half the night tossing and turning, just can't breathe. At least it is not as bad as Saturday and Sunday though.

Susan~so sorry about the mediation and that Mike is a being a jerk. Surely he is not serious about sole custody?? Given his past and him not paying child support and such. Man he really is in lala land isn't he. Anyway, glad you have your mom by your side and we too are here for ya. :grouphug:

Marti~hope you're feeling fine.

Jane~I am picturing the girls with their gadening tools.

Katie(cat)~5 days at Disneyland woohoo! I know you and DH will have so much fun! What a great way to spend your anniversary. :love:

Katy~you got me interested in the book Life of Pi so went to Barnes and Noble to see what it is about. Sounds like an interesting book, may have to get it. We are off to the bookstore tomorrow. Theres one I haven't been to before, a New/Used bookstore-DD wants to check it out and spend her BD money on books. Shes really into poetry and religion lately.

Hi to everyone else, Katy, Pam, Ellen, Julie, Mindee, Angie and Kathy. :wave: Hope all is well with you ladies.

Not much on the agenda today. Going to straighten the house a bit. Sick or not I can't stand a dirty house. I watched How Clean is Your House on Lifetime last night and everytime I see that show I cannot believe the filth people live in and how they do it! It is really nasty. Anyway, then I have a cake to bake. I always like to buy BD cakes but DD always wants me to make her a strawberry heart shaped cake so I oblige.

Have a great day ladies!

Edited: to say HI to Pam :wave: Love your idea of a voodoo doll of Mike. :lol:

01-25-2005, 04:27 PM
Hello everyone! Just got back from preschool and have a few minutes before Leigh and I go for a walk. Leigh looks pretty tired so :crossed: maybe she'll take a nap.

Susan - (((((hugs)))))) what a pain in the you-know-where. The small consolation is that the more he keeps pushing, the more his lifestyle is going to be examined.....I mean, mediation is probably going to lead to psych evals and visits from social workers....think he's got a chance for sole custody after that? He'll be lucky if his rights don't get terminated... have you asked your attorney if that can happen due to abandonment and drug use? Just keep year from now you'll be holding hands with your sweetie somewhere on a beach in Hawaii, drinking mai-tais and telling his kid to stop whining and go read a book ;)

Jane and Cristi- Life of Pi is a somewhat challenging read as it has a lot of symbolism and allegory, but it deals with faith and how that sustains and changes a person irrespective of their particular religion. It really got me thinking about faith as something separate from organized religion....I truly think it will become a classic in due time. The tip I have is to stick with it... many folks I've talked with about this book get a little muddled at the beginning, but then it really catches on and it has an absolutely amazing ending. I hope you do read it.. would love to know what you think about it.

Katiecat - Disneyland! - Envy envy envy

Pam - yoo hoo right back at ya :)

Hi to everyone else...hope your days are going well

01-25-2005, 06:07 PM
Afternoon ladies--

I was so tired when I got home this morning....I did check in but I didn't post. Sorry!

I actually JUST woke up!! How terrible my sleeping patterns are getting!!!!

I have a few things I need to get done at the moment...but wanted to check in first. If I have more time, I will be back.

Until then,

01-25-2005, 09:00 PM
Evening Girls!!!

Well Im on the computer doing some homework and figured I'd take a break to pop in and see what everyone was up too!!!

JANE: Thanks for the outlook on the weight gain...Im hoping it was water weight, Im trying to be especially good this week so that it goes back down..I know, it does eat you alive when you know you didnt cheat!!!

SUSAN: Sorry to hear about the whole ordeal with Mike, maybe one of these days he'll just get tired of fighting and throw in the towel.Hes really something else!!! Keep your head up though!!!

Nothing really new with me , supposed to get another 2-4 inches of snow between tonight and tomorrow.....wonderful.....NOT!! Im learning to really hate the winter!! They said our area ended up with about 30inches of snow this past weekend, I hope it starts melting....... Anybody know of any cheap online sites to get workout videos? I checked on ebay, but I just basically found old tapes and by the time you buy em and pay shipping you might as well just go to Walmart!!! Im looking to get some new ones to add to the collection!!
MARTI: Let me know if you see results with the Gazelle, I was gonna buy that and then decided to buy an elliptical machine instead, I cant tell if its making a difference on me yet or not???

hello to Cristi, Pam, Ellen, Mary Kate, Katy, Angie,and anyone else I didnt see pop in,
Im off to bed shortly

01-25-2005, 09:16 PM
We were hit with a brick this afternoon. My son got a call telling him the father he hasn't seen most of his life is in the hospital in a coma. After all these years he finally desided to quit drinking cold turkey. He fainted in his front yard and hit his head.No one found him for 4 hours. Apparently his blood sugar pulmited. There is pressure on his brain and they don't know what kind of damage has been done or if he'll ever recover. The man was a huge SOB while we were married and I spent years being angry and resentful. Recently his father had passed and he had started calling. We had talked and he had said he was sorry ,that I'd been a good wife. I'm more upset then my son is. I'm furious that he waited so long to quit.That he tossed his life away . So many opportunities lost.

01-25-2005, 10:13 PM
Coming up for air!!! Almost done with these reviews , been buried at work , trying to play catch up.
My boss was nice though tonight. He sat and we went through every one , so am caught up!

Yep- Mike is a ding bat. He really thinks he is a stand up guy. He has been shiftless for his whole life. The only time he is somewhat stable is when he has a lady to leach on

I called his ex and she is headed to Mexico for 2 months with her 3 children in the morning.The oldest is 11 and the half sister to Gaby. Anyway, I guess he already asked her to testify for him that he is a good father. As he owes 30,000 in back child support.....for the daughter.

I took the girl and Gaby to McDonalds and they played today. My mother would have a fit if she knew that.......she thinks I spread myself toooo thin but I thought I should and I am glad I did. It was nice to see the sisters play. it had been 5 months , at least.

I guess that is it. I better get back to work.........

01-25-2005, 10:14 PM
(((((HUGS))))) to you and your DS Pam. I am so sorry to hear about your ex. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. :grouphug:

Nothing new with me, just wanted to drop in and say hi. :wave:

01-26-2005, 01:34 AM
Prayers to your son's father Pam.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MARTI!!! YAY...... :smoking: :gift: :dance: :hat: I am always so late sorry.

I just finished up my taxes! Should get a good refund - enough to take over the lawyer fee's if need be. Maybe even splurge for Rocky to come over for a visit.... miss him so much.

Gaby had her pictures taken last week at JC Penny's.......she was a terror. Did not sit still at all......what a pill. her so........the thought of her living with Mike makes me shudder........she would be so lost.......the jerk.....

I hope to read 40 Day's of Purpose when I get some money to buy the book -
I guess that is it. Sorry I am always so far behind. Disneyland sounds great Katie........woooo hooo :).......

Where is Ellen??? Miss you....

chat later....

01-26-2005, 08:17 AM
Poppin in before bed. Wanted to say hi!

So I will catch up in the afternoon....

Night girls.

01-26-2005, 10:01 AM
Happy Hump Day!

Marti - hope you get rested. Are you doing the Gazelle too much, or just need some extra sleep? I think we all go through periods where our bodies just need some extra rest, don't you? You're expending all those extra calories, too, so that could be making you more tired.

Cristi - hope you're felling better today. Are the women from How Clean is Your Home the 2 British ladies that was on Oprah? They are hilarious! Happy Birthday to your DD!! :balloons:

Katiecat - yes, it WAS you I was thinking of in regards to Disneyland, lol. Silly me! I'm ready to go back to Walt Disney World, but that won't happen for awhile. Too many other places to see first. My DF's DD and family are going to WDW soon, and I'm mailing extra park maps to her today. The only place you can get them are at the parks or the WDW hotels, so she's excited about seeing them. I've heard that people sell them on eBay, can you believe it??

Pam - so sorry about the DXH! What's the prognosis? When/if you need to vent, please know that you can come here and we'll all do our best to get you through, ok? About our travels, well, Neal and I will probably visit family first. Then there are some places we want to see. When he was single, he traveled a lot, and has some places in mind that he wants to show me. One place I've always wanted to see was Independence, Missouri where all the wagon trains started out to head west. For some reason, that fascinates me. How about Candy Apple Red for your car? That's what color my van is, but it loses something on a mini-van, lol.

Katy - oh dear, the book sounds a little deep for me. I have to admit that I almost always read for pleasure anymore. The last thing I read that was upsetting and true, both, was the Frank McCourt books, Angela's Ashes and 'Tis. Did you read those? I thought they were just great, and the first one made me feel guilty for my lack of respect for food and shelter. But wait, you didn't say it was upsetting, did you? Hmmm... maybe I should give it a try.

Julie - maybe you could get some exercise DVDs from the library and try them out before you actually buy one?

Susan - hey, about about you try this: do like the other ex and tell Mike you're only gonna be gone for 2 months, lol. Then let him just try to get Gaby back from Hawaii, lol. Glad you and the three girls all had fun. Maybe you can get the book you mentioned from the library? Jeez, I feel like a spokesperson for them today, lol.

Hi to everyone else. :wave:

Had so much fun last night! Went with Dale to a basketball game of the country kids at Katie's school vs. the town kids (my alma mater!) Of course, I was rooting for the country kids, but as usual, the townies creamed us. 75 to 46! They weren't very gracious, though, and were poking fun at our guys, calling them farmers and such. (which they are, lol, but still...) Katie went with us, too, but hooked up with her friends as soon as she got there, lol. The place was packed, and I had a ball! The reason I took Dale is because Neal didn't want to go, and Mary's always taking off leave Dale home with the kids. He was really surprised when I asked him, lol. I'm a little hoarse today from hollering so much, lol.

Another lunch out at Applebee's today! My good friend from church is having a BD, and she was so kind to me on my bd, that I sure want to return the favor, and she picked the restaurant. I don't get to spend enough time with her, and am really looking forward to this.

What's on your agenda today?

01-26-2005, 11:54 AM
Hi and a very good morning to you all :wave:

Not much time to post, getting ready to head out the door in a few minutes-busy day today. Didn't bake DD's cake yesterday. After thinking about it decided it would be fresher if I waited till today and would keep peoples fingers out of it. LOL Was up early this a.m. and already went and bought groceries so that is out of the way. I know by the time we are done and back home I will be ready for a nap. Of course now DS#1 has the cold. I figured V would get it before him but luckily he hasn't yet. :crossed: Anyway...hope everyone has a wonderful day. See ya later...

01-26-2005, 12:07 PM
:coffee2: Hi Girls.

Jane, ya, there is something sad about a mini van painted candy apple red. It's like it's wishing to be something eles. :lol: OMG, you read "Angela's Ashes". So did I . Pitiful! Had some funny parts but even they were pitifull funny.

Cristi, I've seen that clean your house show. These are upscale,educated people for the most part. They seem to have more money then sence as they spend their money on junk and clutter.Just shows you can be book smart and living skills dumb. I once knew a woman who was a genius but couldn't sweep her own floor.

Ellen, I feel an ecard coming on. Where the heck are you? Thought you were feeling better. Getting a wee bit concerned here.

My son, Eddie, is going to have to take a leave from work to go out and see about his Dad and what affairs need to be put in order. Don't know how long it'll take. He resents a little about having to do this and I can't blame him. This man was always to drunk to be any kind of a father when we were together. Once ,when we first got divorced, I allowed Eddie to go back there and visit on the condition he'd be staying with the Grandparents and come back in time to start school in the fall. I hated it but Eddie wanted so bad to go and I believed the Grandparents would do what was right. What they did was hand him over to his father who never intended to give him back. Six months later he was forced to send him back because the state of SC was hunting them down to take Eddie away because of child neglect and indangerment charges.

Well girls, thats all for now. Gots lots to do to help Eddie get ready to go.


da fat n da furious
01-26-2005, 02:46 PM
Good morning ladies,
I am just amazed about the stupidity of Mike...its like hes listening to the lil voices in his head. Hopefully the evaluation shows the true Mike. Susan,,,do what Jane said,,,say you will only be going for a couple of months....and if it really matters to him then he can come and get her if he wants....
Jane, that is so sweet of you to take Dale,,,hes got a great MIL.

Sorry this is so short, gotta run, I finished Steel Magnolia's that was good, was pretty tired. Have been sleeping alot,,,9-10 hours a
Nothing much happening here,,,the play Im working on now is Iolanthe.
Doing some volunteering at the school.
Watched King Author the other day,,,and thats pretty much it.
Gotta get to work now...

01-26-2005, 04:04 PM
Hello girls--

I'm up before noon.....surprising!! The reason I'm so tired is because I stay up in the WEE hours of the night once I get home. I used to just head straight to bed and get up by 10:30 at the, I'm going to be at 5:30-6:00 and getting up at 1-2!! It just has me thrown off a bit. So I'm trying to adjust myself back to the way it should be! Went to bed at 4:30 this morning.....

Jane--What a wonderful MIL you are!! How sweet that you took him to a basketball game. Gives you two more bonding time too!

Pam--Sorry to hear about brother is an alcoholic...and the times that he trys to quit drinking he ends up having a seizure. It's all so sad. I'm not sure why he gave up on his life! He's only 32 but physically 92 from all his drinking.

Cristi--Good idea to not bake the cake until fingers would have DEFINATELY been in it!! :D

Susan--What a pain in the booty that Mike is!! I'm w/the others....say you're going to Hawaii for a few weeks.......... (thanks for the B-day wishes)

Julie--How nice to have the ellipitcal!! I would love to have one of those. But since it's so much money......The gazelle works great. I can feel the muscles in the backs of my legs and in my thighs....but I'm sure that it will take some time before I "SEE" results. This weekend I plan on taking measurements.....then I can get a better idea.

Hello to Angie, Katy, and Katie and Ellen and John Boy........ :lol:

I need to take a shower. But I want to work out first. But before I can do that I need to eat some kind of breakfast. Boy! Just a list of things to do!!

I watched Amazing Race after work and I was so disappointed in who was, who do I want to win?? I have American Idol recorded to watch I'm on the gazelle......such a reality show junkie I am!! for a cup of coffe!! :coffee:

01-26-2005, 04:46 PM
I'm baaaack.......

Didn't take as long as I thought it would. DD wanted to go to the used bookstore and check it out. Boy...what a mess! We got tired of trying to find what we were looking for-too disorganized. Maybe when we have a few hours to spare we will go back. So ended up going to Barnes and Noble and we found what we wanted. Then off to the music store and she still has money left. For the kids birthdays we give them cash so they can go buy what they want. Started that a few years ago because I never seemed to get them what they really wanted. Then we went to Applebees for lunch-she wanted some of their ribs. :T Now I have got to get a couple loads of clothes done and her cake baked. I can't believe she is 21! Makes me feel old!

Jane~don't know if it is the same British ladies that was on Oprah. Haven't seen Oprah in a long time. But they are British ladies, Kim and Aggie and they are funny. They crack me up how the house is a filthy mess and knowing that and that it stinks they get on their hands and knees and smell things anyway. :yikes:

Katy~I found the book Life of Pi. After you talking about it and reading about it I felt it was something I would like to read so bought it. I'm hoping it is as good as it sounds.

Marti~I bet it is weird getting on any kind of schedule with the hours you have. I would probably stay up also if I got home that late or early depending on how ya look at it.

Angie~I think with all you do and have been doing you definitely deserve to sleep 9-10 hours. Did you like King Author?

Pam~yeah, the majority of peoples houses they have cleaned are intelligent people and seem to have money. So...if you don't want to clean your house but you want a clean house wouldn't you at least hire someone to do it for you? :shrug: I know I would. I can understand your sons resentment for sure. I hope he handles it fine. Does his dad not have someone else to take care of things?

Susan~so did they actually get Gaby's pic took? Hope so, I would love to see a recent one of her. She is such a cutie pie! Love the kids at that age. So how are you and Rocky doing? Just think will all be over before ya know and you and Rocky will be enjoying the sunsets at the beach. So are you guys still going with April? Can't remember...thought there was some talk of July. :shrug:

Ellen~oh Ellen...come out, come out wherever you are. Hope everything is fine with you and DD had a wonderful birthday yesterday.

Julie~hope you are not buried under another 2-4 inches of snow. I know you definitely don't want more. I know when we had that ice storm that was more than enough for me so I can only imagine how you guys are doing. I'm hoping that was/is all we get for the winter. Yesterday it was 62 and I am loving that. Of course today it is 49.

Hi to everyone else :wave:

Need to get going...that laundry and cake are not going to get done on their own. I think I will take a short nap also. Take care ladies and have a wonderful day!

01-26-2005, 05:29 PM
I'm not going anywhere. Hawaii seems so far away.......Gaby is all I care about right now.

The ex had to do some adjusting in her visitation to be allowed to go to Mexico *roll eyes* and of course he was all "happy" that she might not even be around for a court hearing ........and........have I ever said this was the lady that was only 14 when he started a relationship with her?? There is so much filth on this man that I am just totally spinning that the court and mediators are bending over backwards to help this _____________ jerk.......

I have no trust in the court system. I take no comfort in the fact that this is a scum bag.....because he has all the rights until I can prove anything different.....

anyway,,,,,,,,ta upset. He told the mediator that he has a lot to offer Gaby........... * gag*.....

chat later

01-27-2005, 01:52 AM
Finally checking in. I have been trying to keep up with the reading, but haven't had time for much else. Everyone seems so busy here, and I do nothing and still can't keep up.
Jane, I was excited to hear about your DH retiring. I wasn't sure how I would like retirement, but it is a blast. Just make sure DH has a hobby or something to spend time with when you are at home. The traveling is great fun, but when you are home you might want some time to yourself. My DH spends lots of time in the garage during the day, so I can have MY time to sew, read, etc. When we are in LV we spend almost ALL of our time together and it is okay since we are going places and doing things. I just have a hard time getting on the computer or being lazy out here.
Susan, I feel sorry for what you are going through. I know mediation is not pleasant. My DD had to go through all of that during her divorce. She also has an X who I would like to smack up side the head. These guys are NOT thinking of the children. Seems the mediator could see through them, but for some reason it doesn't work that way. DD's X even quit going. I could write a book about her divorce. It did all work out for her as he wanted sole custody and he didn't get it. SO there is hope. I am praying that things will work out your way.
Hope everyone else is feeling okay. as seems like the "bug" is going around.


01-27-2005, 02:02 AM
Mediation was a joke Ellen - 2 hours of nothing. Only me spending $40 that I don't have in gas and my time wasted on that butt

I swear..........that little girl is my world. The dumb court system knows nothing of her.....and what she is going to have to go through. I asked the mediator how are they evaluating him as a parent without Gaby??? "Oh, they will ask you to take her so she can be with him and blah blah"......

It better be up in Portland and he better pay his share first before I spend one more dime.......

Though if I read my scripture on my desk......"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human nind can understand. His peace will gaurd your heart and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.............."

God knows Gaby.............I need to remember that :)

Thanks Ellen :)

01-27-2005, 07:48 AM
Good Morning Ladies---

Almost friday!! ****sigh**** time is just FLYING by!!

Cristi--I sure hope DD had a Wonderful Birthday. Sounded like you two had great day together. Tell her I said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

Susan--Totally understand Gaby being the only thing on your mind. I wish there was something we all could do for you.....we're here for you to vent and talk it out when ever you need it!

Sue--Good to hear from you. How is the weather in LV? When do you go back to your home state? (I'm always confused so you're going to have to remind me which state that would be!)

Well ladies....I've been thinking of what I would like to do for my anniversary. I would like to plan something just not sure. I told James to start thinking about it. Because this is our FIRST wedding Anniversary!! A special occasion and I want it to be memorable. I would like to go back to the diner we had breakfast at when we first had breakfast together. Then go for a long drive up in the mountains. Spend all day reminencing (sp!!) But I also want to do something more. Wonder what he'll come up with.

So...any idea's for a anniversary gift?? I'm limited on funds but I sure would like to get something for him.

Well ladies...if I want to get my sleeping patterns back in order, I better get to bed. I will check in when I get up this afternoon.

Take Care!

01-27-2005, 09:19 AM
Good morning, ladies,

Cristi - hope DD had a good birthday. We also give money for birthdays. That's what the kids want. I just told Terry, though, that I'm going to start taking each DGD out before the big day and let them pick out what they want, and then have lunch. Speaking of which, like you, I also ate at Applebee's yesterday. I had the salmon, rice pilaf and tender-crisp veggies. Mmmm..

Pam- when I was reading Angela'a Ashes, at least I wasn't eating. It was too gross to think of eating while reading about the conditions. And to think it was all true! Poor boy! Btw, Eddie is a good man to step up to the plate and take care of things for his father. He's to be commended for it.

Angie - how're rehearsals going? Hey, did you see Seinfeld when George dressed up like King Arthur? No wait - that was Henry the VIII, wasn't it? Oh well, it was still hilarious!!!

Marti - hope you get your sleep schedule on track. As anal as I am about other things, I don't have a set bedtime or time to get up. I think that's because when I can't sleep, it throws me off. About your anniversary, I think it would be cool to go back to the diner you first had breakfast. Neal and I honeymooned in Owensboro, KY, where there is a big hotel with live bands. So on our first anniversary, we went back. Three Dog Night was playing, and they really put on a good show. Jeramiah Was a Bullfrog..... Liar... Never Been to Spain.... Joy to the World... I forget what else. It's too early here to tax my brain so hard, lol.

Susan - (((HUGS))) just keep praying, hon. I know I am.

Sue - great to see you. Neal is the type of guy that has to be busy during the day. He would never loaf in daylight hours, but thank goodness there's always plenty to be done around here in the summer. The winters may present a problem, though. It's cold here in Indiana, Sue - stay where you are, lol.

Sophie - come out, come out wherever you are!! What's on your agenda today?

Hello to all the others. :wave:

Well, it's cold in Indiana, but Madison and I are going shopping anyway. At least the sun is shining. Did I mention that I got tiny garden gloves and tiny wheelbarrows for the DGDs? They're going to help me plant flowers outside the playroom window in the Spring. Won't that be fun?

Need to run the sweeper and do some other chores before I get going. Sorry I forgot about chat yesterday! Did anybody make it in?

01-27-2005, 09:52 AM
Good Morning!

Sorry I missed chat.... I had another interesting, yet disturbing tea, with my attorney friend yesterday. This time, thankfully, no guns were lying around, lol! And I found out that the married guy did indeed mislead her at the beginning of their it wasn't like she knowingly got involved with a married man, and she has made a clean break...I'm glad she cleared that up as I didn't have too high of an opinion, kwim? I think, though, that she and I have too different a perspective on life to spend too much time around each other... I tend to come away feeling belittled or too judgmental....I don't know. I want to be supportive, because her life has been in transiton lately and I think she feels a bit lonely....oh will all work itself out!

Jane - Your post about planting flowers has served to fire me up about my yard. That always seems to happen this time of year. I spend the winter happily parked with my knitting projectsand reading books, then the daffodils poke their head up and I can't wait to get out in the yard!. DH is feeling it, too. I came homw yesterday to find him on the phone with the nursery... he wants to plant a couple of firethorns and a serviceberry.....and weed....he's got it bad, too ;)

Susan- I know mediation is a real pain...I've supported a good friend through this process in the past...she definitely felt like it gave the bio-dad way more credit than he deserved at least initially. It's the court system's way of getting to the bottom of what is really going on. After that long process, though, the dad did not get sole custody, and he paid child support, had a ton of money to spend on the best attorneys and he still didn't get it. Crazy is crazy you know, can't hide it forever. We are here for you anytime you need to's really true about trusting God with everything...your faith will get you through this .

Sue - So glad you checked in...LV sounds like alot of fun...Sorry about he evil former son-in-law. Hope things are looking up for your daughter. What kinds of stuff do you sew? I used to sew garments and all my home dec, but haven't in a long time because of small kids and a lack of space...but I need to make some throw pillows for the living room, so I am getting back into it finally.

Sorry I'm not getting to everyone...will try to get back later
Have a great day!

01-27-2005, 11:53 AM
:coffee2: Good morning all , Eddie's flight leaves at 7am Sat. That means we have to get to Ontario at 5am so he can go though security and check in. Got him some new lugage and grooming supplies.Printed out a map to the hospital from his Dad's house and made a list for him to check out. Like draining the water from the pipes so they don't burst if it freezes. Getting access to the banks accounts ,ect. Eddie's good with a big picture and I'm good at details so we should do alright. It sounds a little silly but it kind of feels like the old Poop is taking him away from me .

I missed chat to. Didn't realize it was on. I'm not very good at live chat anyway. I get bogged down in details and spelling.

Susan, I tried meditation. It was a miserable falure.Couldn't stop my brain from thinking of all the things I should be doing.Stressed me out. :lol:

Jane, 3 Dog Night. Good Band, I'm an old rock'n roller. Love the Doors, Stones,ect.

Girls,better go.Check back later. PS. They need to put a "check" key on this dang thing.


01-27-2005, 01:26 PM
Morning ladies~

I too didn't make chat. Wednesdays seem to be my busiest day of the week even though for the most part I am usually home in time for chat-usually. Wasn't yesterday but was on the 'puter about 2 and completely forgot about it so didn't think to check and see if anyone was there.

I feel so tired today for some reason. Think it is because of the weather, well, that and this darn cold. Feeling somewhat better but man I think I could have slept till about 11 or later. Woke up at 9:40 and was still sleepy but forced myself to get up. Why? I don't know. Don't have anything planned for today so I guess I could have slept in.

Jane~I started a while back letting the kids stay home from school on their birthday and we either did breakfast and a movie or lunch and a movie and they got to pick what they wanted for their BD dinner. It was their day and I wanted to make it special. Still do it except it is a little hard since they work. Anyway...there wasn't a movie on that DD wanted to see so we are going Friday to see Hide and Seek.

Marti~I like the idea of going back to where you first had breakfast. We didn't celebrate our first as it was a month after we lost the baby-not in a celebrating mood. So we made our second one special and renewed our vows in a little chapel in Eureka Springs, AR. Beautiful place in the Ozarks! I'm sure whatever you guys do it will be special and one you will always remember. I am never good at ideas for what to do or what to buy. But one thing I have done that is kind of cutesy is made a coupon book for V for things like a massage, kisses all day, a romantic dinner, breakfast in bed, other silly things. I am already trying to figure out what we are going to do this year. May will be here before you know it and this time I want to have something special planned. DD said thank you!

Sue~so glad to see ya checking in. Was wondering if you were back in Vegas or not and how things were going.

Susan~I am so sorry to hear about all that Mike is putting you through. Why do men have to be such buttheads? You just keep praying and reading that on your desk and I will be praying for you too. I just know it will all work out in the end. (((((HUGS))))) to you, stay strong.

Pam~for some reason I was thinking Eddie's dad lived in the same town or close by. He is a good son for doing what he is doing.

Katy~seems we all are thinking of spring planting. Can't wait for it to get here and the daffodils to bloom. I planted a bunch around the house and yard and am hoping they all bloom. I may dig up the roses by the walkway and put them in the back. I like them but they get crazy and I like something more uniform by the walkway I think. Can't tell ya how many times I got stabbed or poked by those thorns. OUCH! But they are pretty.

Hi to everyone else :wave:

Nothing much on the old agenda for today. I did get laundry washed and dried yesterday but need to get it folded and put away today. Going to clean the baths, vacuum and sit down and finish the book I started a while ago, I is for Innocent. I read a couple of chapters last night but couldn't stay awake. Want to finish it then start Life of Pi. Oh, the thing with the used book store is they don't actually buy books from you, they trade. Which would be fine. Take in some books I didn't like, trade them and if I don't like the ones I trade I could trade again-not bad. Anyway...that's all I have. Take care ladies and have a great Thursday! :wave:

01-27-2005, 01:29 PM
Afternoon Girls!!

Susan: Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Hang in there though, hopefully all of this fighting will be worth it in the long run..

Cristi: Im so jealous that you are in such warm weather. We got more snow
yesterday and are supposed to get more over the weekend.

Pam: Sorry to hear about what your son has to go through. I had a similar situation with my own father happen to me. I hadnt seen him in two years and then got called to the hosp cause he had lung cancer....I got left having to take care of him, which Im glad I did because I will always have a clear conscience about doing the right thing. He passed away 3 years ago, I was only 20 at the time...Just support Eddie, because it really is a tough thing.

MARTI: Speaking of American Idol, what a riot!!!! I watched it the past 2 nights and some of the people on there are just so ridiculous....It makes you wonder whether they get pd to do that or not.. I mean if I was their family and they sung so bad, I would have to tell them not to go embarrass themself. The sad part is that some of them really believe they are good!!HAHA

Well back to work for me, hello to Jane, Sue, Katy, Angie and anyone else Ive forgotten who popped in!!!


01-27-2005, 01:45 PM
Hi Julie~

Well, I guess I spoke too soon as it is cold today! And we are supposed to get freezing rain tomorrow. ICK! I hope it isn't as bad as it was last time. We (meaning the people in the city and around us) are still cleaning up from the ice storm a couple of weeks ago. I don't know which is worse, ice storms or tons of snow. I feel for ya. Try to stay warm girly. I too watched American Idol the last two nights, and last week also! DD and I were laughing so hard last night. That guy that did Michael Jackson (thriller) scared us and caught us off guard and we couldn't quit laughing. What about that old guy trying to pass off as 28?! Ummm, yeah right!

Tea Rose
01-27-2005, 04:21 PM
Hi Eveyone
I just wanted to check in and say Hi to you all, I am not feeling very well this past week or feel much like talking, just one of those times,I am glad to see everyone is doing fine for the most part, I,m sorry about Eddie's father Pam , I know this must be extremely difficult for him, and for you, ((Hugs)) Susan I don't know what to say, these situations are so incredibley frustrating, it makes me want to scream for you, but I don't suppose that would help much would it,I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers, To Jane, Angie, Marti, Cristi, Katy , Ann, Sue, Mindee, Katie,Julie,I hope that you are all doing well and everyone is having a wonderful day, I will try and chat maybe a little later or tomorrow, Take care Ellen

01-27-2005, 06:52 PM
Thanks,everyone for the support about my x SOB. They moved him out of intensive care into a room with a phone. Looks like he's doing some better.My son is still going but maybe he won't have so much on his shoulders. :crossed:

Ellen,bless your heart.So glad you came up for air. Miss you lots.


01-27-2005, 07:21 PM
Hello girls...I'm not feeling well today. It's TOM issues and it's making me feel nauseated! I don't feel like eating or moving......don't usually feel this way when PMS strikes, but this month it's driving me crazy. I'm sure that is part of my sleepiness this last week.

Jane--I think the little gloves and wheelbarrows sound so cute. I can picture it now....two little ones and you in the garden! Have Neil take some pictures of the three of you!

Katy--Why don't you and your hubby just drive on down to my house and do my yard for me!! :D I really need to spruce it up a bit and make it look more presentable. I feel like I've gotten lazy with it. At least last year, we pulled out a dead tree that looked hideous in our front yard.......little steps and some day I'll have this gorgeous yard.

Pam--You've raised a good boy! Going to see his dad and check to see how he's doing after all these years.....I hope he has a safe trip.

Cristi--I like the coupon gift. When James was in Portland for his training, I made this tiny little notebook type thing for him....and each piece of paper I wrote a reason why I love him so much. Punched a hole on the top of each paper and connected them w/ribbon. When he came home I gave it to him. He really enjoyed it. I wrote a bunch of silly things he does that just makes me smile and love him more for it!

Julie--AI IS funny. I watched it this morning thinking "OMG....are you serious?" The one girl who was a "psychic" then sang.....terrible. Amongst others of coarse.

Ellen--Sending get well vibes your way!! (((((HUGS & GET WELL))))) We miss you here.

Ok....I need to get myself together...find something to eat so I don't feel like I'm starving half way through work. I'll check in after work to say hi.

Talk to you all later

Take Care

01-27-2005, 11:40 PM
This was a email from Mike's mother tonight........

Hi Susan,

Got both your e-mails - glad Gaby's cold is over.

I'm sorry mediation isn't going well.

I'm very confused - still trying to figure out what the problem is. As I understand it, this whole mediation thing was brought about because you refused to let Mike see Gaby. I understand that you were telling Mike to get his truck driving job back or similar job with another company so he could pay more in support and you wouldn't believe him when he told you they wouldn't hire him back at that time even though they had hired him back before. I suggest the main reason Mike can't get a job driving truck is their Insurance Co won't cover him under their policy. In view of his record, they probably won't cover him for 5 years from his last citation. Even though he has a valid Oregon CDL, the lack of commercial insurance covering him as a driver precludes any trucking company hiring him. Thus, even though you may feel he hasn't tried to get his old employment back, he has - prospective employers kept turning him down when they run his driving record. The fact is HE CAN'T GET IT BACK, nor will he be able to get a driving position with any other company that has an insurance policy that provides that they can exclude anyone they consider a 'bad risk' from coverage under their policy. He is paying the price for some of his stupid actions in past years. Unfortunately, so are you. If your refusal to let him see Gaby is based upon your not receiving child support in the amount you feel you should be, that position is no longer supported by the Courts. Most States now allow that parent visitation rights as it is in the best interests of the child that he/she receive the love of both parents.
As you know, Mike lacks the education and/or skills necessary to give him employment opportunities with better paying positions. Additionally, his age works against him.

I have some questions:

[1] Mike says he has a copy of what is supposedly the recorded birth certificate which has the last name of _____ crossed off and _____ written in. When was it changed and who changed it? If Mike is shown as the father on that certificate, how could the baby's name be changed without his permission? Doesn't the law require that the baby be given the father's surname? Was there a Court hearing to change the baby's name?

[2] You said you have had "sole custody" of Gaby for over two years with the Father having no rights, not even visitation? We were not told of any Court hearing rendering this verdict. Mike never mentioned any Court hearing granting you sole custody or taking away any of his Parental Rights. Do you have a written document from the Court stating you are to have sole custody? Where was the action filed? What is the Courts' Case/File #? Would you provide us with a copy?

[3] We reason that all this hoopla surrounding Gaby's name gives credence to the possibility that Mike may not have fathered Gaby. Is it possible that someone other than Mike is the actual father? Because of this nagging doubt, Gaby is not named in our Wills. We have asked Mike before to obtain a DNA but he has always said that it didn't matter to him - that he loved Gaby!!! Would you consent to having DNAs run?

[4] Doug told Mike that you paid him back $2100.00 about the same time as we loaned you that amount to help you with your paycheck loans that you had outstanding. Did you deposit that to his checking account so you could write checks to pay off the loans? I understand you can still avail yourself of that account.

Hope you and Gaby have a wonderful birthday celebration - have her card picked out. Looking forward to seeing her pictures. Please remember, I love you and pray everything will work out between everyone all to Gaby's best interests.

01-27-2005, 11:49 PM
and this was my reply. Sorry to clog this nonsense here but I trust you all for feedback. My mom thinks I shouldn't talk with Mike's mom anymore. I am way too trusting - but I THINK she cares about me, don't THINK she would help Mike with attorney fee's and such.
She obviously has been fed a pack of crap,,,,,,lol. Anyway, best get ....feel better today. Spending time on my knee's....helps a lot :)

I wish I could talk with you in person!! The information in this email is 90% untrue......
Where to begin????
Mike wasn't seeing Gaby because in late August after several counseling sessions he lied to me again. I just felt at that time that we needed something in legal form for these visits to happen.I was meeting him half way and he wanted me to come all the way to Seaside. It was one thing after another and it never had to do with money or him getting a job.
It had to do with Mike's instability and constantly crossing boundaries. My own thought is he wanted a relationship with me. It wasn't like I was closed to the idea but the more we spent time together the more I realized how he hadn't changed.
He told me he sent some money and it never came. I called him and he said it had come back to him "what do you want me to do??" . I said........"mail it again". He said ok but it never came. I called back and asked about it,,,,,,this time he said.....he wasn't going to send it after all.
If he didn't have the money he could have just said that but my thought is he never sent anything to begin with.
Again, it wasn't money , it was about building trust.....and I never told him to get a driving job....I wouldn't do that. Obviously his "drug free life" is more important to Gaby if she is ever to have a father.
I am aware that visitation and child support don't go hand in hand. I offered him Friday's and Saturday's and holidays to match his time with Lauren. I offered him 1 week each month in the summertime when she turned 5 years old.
He refused and now it is about me being the "fit" parent.
Gaby's name was changed in the required time frame. This was after Mike spent the first month of her life doing drugs and causing such stress - also after he chose to spend the money you sent for Gaby on drugs. I think he will admit he was at his lowest during this period. It was a very difficult time,with Gaby as a new born and I was scared of Mike's behavior.
AFS deemed it an abusive situation and gave me a grant to move out with the kids.
The Justice Department under some law gave me sole custody when Mike and I agreed that he was the father. He was given a chance to contest that at that time. It goes to the parent that has physical custody when it is established. Mike should have a copy??? It was in the first court order for child support.
Mike is the father, there was no one else but him. If you want to pay for DNA to satisfy your doubts that would be fine on my part.
I know Mike talked with Doug but that information is incorrect. I have never paid Doug back on anything, let alone $2,1000- I have never owed him.Though I do pay him for babysitting..... I cashed the check you sent and made money orders - which were sent to you. that everything?? I am sorry. I vented yesterday and probably shouldn't drag you into our problems.
Gabrielle is a delight and it just seems to me we have ventured into an area that we shouldn't be. I never wanted a court to decided, it would be great if her parents could. I urged for mediation - which btw- we only had 2 hours - we are allowed 4 without paying extra fee's. Now we have a "custody evaluation" which will cost 1000's more.....senseless to me.
What I have always wanted for Gaby was stable visitations. It hurts the kids , because I have seen it with Lauren. When he shows up one Saturday and not the next..... I would love to raise Gaby with Mike in her life. It hurts not to be able to share her with the other person that loves her just as much as I do. I have always wanted that.......and I know Mike does too. When she does something cute ,,,,,,,I want to reach for the phone and tell him all about it.
Gaby went to the gym today and played. It was cute - enjoyed watching her. She loves Beethoven and Clifford. She knows she is 3 and is getting her colors down. I will go to dress her and she says "not pretty" and pushes the clothes
She is a doll. I get the pictures on CD - they should be sent soon, I will email you them.I get the others on the 11th.
Better gt back to work!
Love to you both -

01-28-2005, 09:14 AM
TGIF!! You'd think I have some big, stressful job, the way I state that, lol.

Katy - sorry about your situation with the attorney friend. Through the years, I've been made to feel small by my choice to stay home and take care of my family, by more than one person. They were swiftly cut from my life when it happened twice. Once, it could have been a misunderstanding. When it happens twice by the same person, they are being hurtful. Oh sweetie, at first I thought your DH was gonna plant weed, until I figured you meant it as a verb, not a noun. TOO FUNNY!!! :rofl:

Pam - the Stones are one of my favorite bands. I remember seeing them on the Ed Sullivan show and got a much bigger kick than with the Beatles. They just seemed.... taboo, you know?

Cristi - I think we all have the winter blahs to some degree. It was sunny here yesterday, but my own personal weatherman (Neal teaches Earth Science) says it's going to be cloudy today. Guess I'll just have to put a Stones CD in, and dance, lol. How're you liking I is For Innocent?

Hi to Ellen and Julie.

Marti - hope you're feeling better. Love your notebook idea for James. All men, without exception, need to hear how much they are adored, lol. I have done the coupon thing in the past, too, and have to say it's a good idea. Hope James spaces them out more than Neal did, lol.

Susan - oh dear. I do think Mike's mother cares about you and Gaby very much. But I also know when push comes to shove, if she is like most of us moms, she'll do whatever she can to help her own child first. And she may be afraid that if Gaby is so far away, Mike may slip into some old habits. Since Rocky has no issues with exes, is it feasible for him to move to Oregon? I know that's not Plan A, but sometimes Plan B looks better and better.

Sophie - hope you have a good day at work. And please post here so the other members don't think I'm talking to myself. (Although I'd admit to it freely. :D ) Don't make me erase your bio, lol. :)

Neal and I are going to talk with the retirement people at VU today. They'll explain some of our options with the IRAs and stock that we have. Also, give us some info for health insurance. With me being 10 years younger than Neal, and not available for Medicare for so long yet, that is a big issue to me.

What's on your agenda for the day?

01-28-2005, 10:07 AM
Susan - more ((((hugs)))) I liked your response to Mike's mom. My gut says though, that your mom may be right. The letter from MM asked for some awfully specific stuff, made me think she's been talking to a lawyer already. I just love reading what you write about Gaby - your love for her just jumps off the page....I just have to have faith that this is all going to work out for you.

Jane - Well, my attorney friend is a little peeved with me....she called me and was upset with me about a helpful suggestion I made during our conversation yesterday. She had been bemoaning her sad finances for quite some time in conversation and, darn it, I made a suggestion. Oops. I realize the unsolicited advice is annoying, but I didn't think it was unsolicited at the time..she seemed to be asking for some help. Guess I was wrong. SO I got to have a charming conversation where I, of course, apologised and would not offer any advice ever again, but then I had to cut her off 'cause she started in again on all these excuses for why everything is going wrong in her life. I realized it is a case again of her not wanting to take responsibility for things and looking around for someone to lay it on...all this is the guise of "being open and honest" I said that was not how you treat someone who is trying to support now she's ticked. As the Stomach Turns.......

Julie - I watched that AI - the psychic was too funny! I loved that the heavy SAHM got through..she had such a beautiful voice but I thought they wouldn't see past the "image problem" as Kenny Loggins put it. I just get hooked on this show.....

Cristi and Marti - hope you two are feeling better.

I'll try to bbl when I get the guys off to school.

01-28-2005, 11:06 AM
:coffee2: Another day another delema. X sob is going to live but might be incapable of ever caring for himself so smack back in same old fix. Poop.

Susan, that woman is a piece of work! She's called an enabler. As long as her attitude is thus Mike will be able to work her. I know addiction. My sister is a meth A and I was married to an alcohoic for 10 horrible years. You know what to do. Insist on it. Rooting for you ,girl.

Jane,Lets rock! Stones, CCR,Kansas, Forener. Good stuff. My son loves my kind of music. Rock and Roll forever! :lol:

I watched AI. That psychic was to funny. Why would a mom let her child make such a fool of herself? I'd of nailed my son in his room to keep him from going but then my son has better sence.

Katy, I fear the woman is a toxic person. They spreads their poison to who ever they can. They will find a way to blaim you or others for all their problems. This kind of person is not good for you. My sister is like this. Like a vampire they suck out all your good energy and leave you feeling depressed and victimized.

Thats my 2 cents. Wish I could fix my own life like I could others. :lol: Talk to you all later. (((HUGS))) to all.


01-28-2005, 11:49 AM
Pam- you are so right! I have had too much involvement in the past with toxic people ( my dad and my former friend/maid of honor) and they behave exactly as you describe. There is no problem ownership because any problem they have gets projected onto someone else. I got tired long ago of being the dumped-upon. My BS detector was going off anyway before her phone call (see my previous day's post) I have chalked this up to a "no good deed goes unpunished" situation and taking advantage of being able to put some distance between us.

I agree with Susan's post - this place is great for getting validation and feedback - you gals are so so supportive!

Tea Rose
01-28-2005, 12:35 PM
Good Morning Everyone
The sun is shining here today but it is brutally cold, spring is looking better and better right now,
Hi Jane :wave:
sounds like you have a busy day, dealing with retirement decisions,I am very frightened thinking that far ahead since during my marriage , since he controlled every penny , nothing was ever set up for the future, he also didn't believe in insurance policies, siting that he wasn't going to make it easy for me to move on with my life ie: another man , if he wasn't around , didn't care how the kids and I survived. so I have nothing and that scares me to death. I can see how the medicare would be of a concern to you, I hope you can figure something out, but it will be such an exciting time for you both.

Hi Susan:wave:
I think although Mikes Mom does care about Gaby I would agree that thats some very specific legal jargin she posing to you, and I would be very wary of her motives, best way for her to get information is to act like she is concerned about you,and she may be, and she may working on Mikes behalf which is more likely the truth.People become ruthless in these situations and it becomes more about what they want than whats best for the child. Under decent circumstances it would be best for the child to have both parents in her life, but if Mike isn't as clean drug wise as he says it could be devastating and destructive to Gaby and Your lives. My guess is your new attornery will suggest you stop correspondence with this woman at least about legal matters and Mike ,and keep it strictly about day to day events in Gabys life. I do hope this all gets settled soon for both your sakes(((HUGS)))

Hi Pam:wave:
Sorry to hear about the ex's condition, what does that mean for You and Eddie, whats the distance between where you live to him. I sympathize for the condition of this mans life, but I sympathize that you and Eddie are drawn unwillingly back into this situation. I pray for his recovery ,so that You and Eddie can move on with your lives, and he with his. I hope that didn't sound mean. hopefully you know what I mean. So your an ole rock and roll gal huh, I was called Metallica Mom LOL loved ,boston ,pink floyd, and still listen to floyd,I love all kinds of music.from the angelic voice of Sarah McLachlan , Holly McNarland to metal and everything in between, I have been to Metallica concerts and Julio Iglesius concerts, LOL I agree with your last statement its so much easier to give advise , that apply it to our own lives, why is that so hard do you think.:lol:
Hi Marti:wave: Hi Cristi:wave:
I do hope your feeling better, sorry to hear that your not yet, I'd send some home made chicken soup but I fear it would be frozen before it left Canada.:lol: Get well girls.(((HUGS)))
To Everyone else I hope your having a wonderful day so far. Take Care

da fat n da furious
01-28-2005, 12:59 PM
Good Morning Ladies

Susan, as Katy has written she has spoken to someone (lawyer) and what Pam said about being an enabler, parents are the best enablers. Past guilts and *love* has the user dancing all over the person.
I have to say your reponse was well said...I think there should be an issue of a drug user having visitations. Past drug user I should say. And with that does he have to have drug testing regularly? Like every 3rd month?
I keep thinking about the fact that his ex being on 14 ys old when he had a relationship with old was he?

Pam, ah man that bites about the xsob. Letting your son decide how he wants to deal with this is the best thing for the both of you. He can walk away knowings hes done what he can and you know you have raised a wonderful person.

Marti, I hate when you say your TOM is bad,,,cause when you have a bad one I have a bad one. And like you I start getting symtoms early...why do you have to live with this? I used to have full time TOM 3/4 times out of the month sometimes the full month,,,now I don't have TOM full time but I have the achy body, headaches and bloating 3/4 of the time. yay...grrr

Cristi, I am amazed about your weather....has it always been cold cold and icy? I know our weather has changed alot in the past few years...we have had alot of t-shirt days. Warm, some ice and snow but still warm enough to wear just the basics. It was colder in Sept. then its now.

Jane, I never did say congralutions for the retirement of Neal...

Julie, again wow on the weather...

Ellen, hope you are feeling good enough to join us soon. Hugs to you....

Katy, so I had momma Chris make my scarf which she did in no time, I obught some shiny beads matching the color of the scarf and I have tacked a fewe on. And it looks so cool.

Well need to go clean the fridge,,,soemthing doesn't smell right in there,,,*shudder

da fat n da furious
01-28-2005, 01:05 PM
Hey Ellen saw your posting....its cold over there too? Geesh Im almost in the tropics here.

Im going to the relief benefit concert Monday,,,Barenaked Ladies and Sarah M (I can't spell her name) Brett Butt is hosting it.
Tonight Im going to Man of Lamncha

01-28-2005, 01:15 PM
Hi Ladies!!

Well first off
SUSAN: Im sure that genuinely Mikes mom does care about you and Gaby, but honestly those questions are really non of her business to be asking. That tells you right there that hes not handling things on his own!!! I think your response to her was proper, at least you are being decent with her and not holding his actions against her. She should be greatful for that!!!

PAM: Sorry to hear that the ex is going to burden your son so much, hopefully things brighten up for you all!!

CRISTI: OH MY GOD!!! The thriller kid on American Idol, what a riot. I totally wasnt expecting that whole outburst!!! DBF and I were laughing so hard we were in tears!!! These first few weeks where they go searching for people are usually the only ones I end up watching, cause they are the funniest!!

HI to Jane, Ellen, Angie, Katy, and anyone else who pops in!!

We're supposed to go over to my friends house tonight, as her husband who left for the military, well he's been struggling so they've released him, so hes coming home today...Not sure if we're going to end up going over though, we'll see..! Im glad for the kids sake, cause he didnt belong taking off in the first place. The oldest child is going to be so excited to see him!!! We probably wont end up having the kids this weekend, so Im gonna try to catch up on housework and homework!!!
Well back to work, will check in with you all later...

Julie :cool:

01-28-2005, 03:07 PM
I have no time!! I have no time!! *wah, *

Ugh. I have to type a paper for Beck real fast so I better get busy. I also have to take the Gabster to grandma's in Milwaukie......but wanted to say hello!!!!!

Honestly I don't think she has talked with a lawyer. Just the way Mom Mac writes. Very impersonal and businesslike- she has always been like that. I know she brought up the last name of Gaby before and I explained it at that time. I wanted Gaby to have a name I loved, my fathers name,a name that she could be proud there!! lol......
But, ya...........we can do Gaby emails and that is that. I need to shut my mouth with her.

Mike was 27 and his ex was 14........and he had a relationship with her mother before he hooked up with her,.,...........and woooo hoooo. ....I think they were all on Jerry Springer at some

Anyway, Plan B??? lol..........Rocky has a lot more problems with Nana- she would threaten a custody fight if he JUST came over for a visit and left Kris behind. So, it was .........bring Kris , I guess. Though I wanted some time with Rocky by myself to get to know my kids. He can't come though if it is Baseball season..........and I hung up the phone on him.........this was last night. I called this morning after talking with my mom because she said he has been a great support . So, we talked and he didn't sleep and I didn't sleep all night. He was sweet and said he never would want to hurt me that I have enough going on in my life. Blah- blah.......

As My World

best get. Payday!!! Going to get my 40 days of purpose book......yay.....


01-28-2005, 05:33 PM
Hold it! Hop on over to chit chat #108... see you there!