Support Groups - Battle of the Bulge #8

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Crime girl
01-16-2005, 09:55 AM
Here is the new thread...enjoy!

Just a reminder- today is weigh in day.


Monday- support day and a good day for tips on staying motivated

Tuesday- support day and a good day for reasons why we want to lose- I think that keeps us motivated more than anything when we reexamine why we want to lose..

Wednesday- "what have I been eating all week day" and I want to start trying to get everyone to share quick recipes or tips on cooking that work for them.

Thursday- "what I have done to move my bootie day" and I want to get everyone to start giving us an idea on how they work exercise into their lives and the things they enjoy doing.

Friday- support and influence day- lets make this a day we talk about anything or anyone that influenced our weight loss for the week- things like friends giving bad foods or a partner that supported our efforts.

Saturday- recap day- lets talk about the things we thought worked for us for the week and those that didn't- this might help us see where we strayed and where we stood firm.

Sunday- weigh in day and reaffirm goal day- give us an idea of your goals for the week, month, and long term.

Have a great day everyone!

01-16-2005, 10:20 AM
YaY! New Thread!! AND... I'm first :D

I lost 3 pounds this week!! I'm down to 225 :D So that's 7 pounds total!! I'm so proud of myself!!

01-16-2005, 10:30 AM
Hey everyone..

I wieghed myself this morning and i was 220.5..which is good because on weds when i weighed in a WW i was 222..So i'm happy..

Very tired this morning slept over and my mom's house last night and had to wake up earlier to go to work..blah work on a sunday..

I have a mini goal for myself i want to be at least 210 by feb 14th..

Got to start walking then..The rain has stopped here finally starting to look like southern california again..

Talk to u guys later

01-16-2005, 10:34 AM
Hiya Mich!
Congrats on your loss this week!! I too weigh in twice a week :D Sundays with the girls here and Tuesdays with the girls at work! It's actually real fun to see the difference (although only 2 days between!) We also have a similar goal! I have 10 more pounds to lose before Valentines day!! We can do it :D

Crime girl
01-16-2005, 11:03 AM
Sorry I have been MIA for a couple of days- I think I am adjusting to all the reading and the iPod took some time to set up. I love that thing! If you have the money to spend and want a great device for music and files this is a great choice and is everything they advertise it to be. So- my bf did great and now I am forced to play nice with him. :lol:

Thanks also everyone for the congrats on getting honors for graduation- it was really touching so many people seem to care about what happens in my life. :D
I am going to try to catch up on some posts:

stormy- Should I buy supersize me? Is it the type of movie that you can watch more than once? I haven't seen it but my Target store has it for $10 so I thought about just buying it. I really want to see it. On that line of thought- have you read Fast Food Nation? My brother read it and says it is a historical and sociological look at our need to have fast food. I think I am going to buy it.
How is school going for you? I imagine you have been uber busy too!
The portion size comment you made about your hubby I can relate with. My bf grew up in a family that ALWAYS overeats and his idea of one portion is more in line with a family size portion. I just can't make him understand that it is not the foods he is eating that are making him overweight but the portion size. Drives me crazy to see him eating a plate overflowing with food and shoveling it in like a mad man! :moo:
I also wanted to tell you that I am jealous of your ravoli! I love anything in the realm of Italian! Lucky you! :D

little grasshopper- Have you made your goodies yet? Did you decide on a cake or cookies?
The post describing yourself as a witch doctor cracked me up! :lol3: I am going to be careful what I say to you- I am thinking you might make a voodoo doll of me to torture. :lol: Anyway- the main thing I see in you is a nuturing and caring personality. You seem to really care about the people in your life and provide a warm safe place for your clients! By the way- I knew you smiled a lot because it is relayed in your posts. I can hear you smiling- if that makes sense.
You picture of me is pretty accurate- I am notorious for ALWAYS having a book on me. My friends like to kid me because I can go nowhere without a book even if there is a good chance I will not have time to look at it. The part of the description you missed is that I look like a puffy marshmellow man! :dance: I look like I am inflated inside a normal skinny body and I hate that! :mad: I do wear glasses some times- others contacts. Very perceptive!
I have to ask a question from one of your posts- you rode an elephant and a lahma when and where? That combo is odd together-were you out of the country?
Congrats for being completely in your jeans!!! :cp: :cp: :bravo:

red balloon- It is a shame you didn't get to see Clooney, Damon, and Pitt. I think Clooney and Damon would have been fun to look at but I never got into Pitt. I just don't think he is so hot! That was a weird dream about Clooney! Man- I would wet myself if he walked up and started to talk to me- gray hair and extra weight or not! :lol:
Congrats on the 2.2 lb weight loss!!! Great job!! :bravo: :cp: :cp: :cp:
Your headscarf to the gym sounds cool. Dress the part and you will feel it more. Also who you surround yourself with definitely makes a difference. When I hung out with people that exercised it was a normal part of my life- we went to the gym and we worked out. Now that I hang with lazy people- I am lazy! (that is my story and I am sticking to it). I think it makes a big difference though!
As for scrubs- they are wonderful even if you are not in healthcare. I wear them sometimes at home and they seem to get better with every washing. So comfortable and easy to throw on and work around the house for me.
They did, by the way, wear them on ER. Not all the time but a lot of it.
Thanks for the links to the maintance site and place to buy scrubs and such!
As for leaving your job- you never know how things will work out until you try them. I think you would rather change and chase the opportunities in life than to settle and never know what could have been. You will be fine- the people there will keep in touch if they are real friends and you could have the opportunity to make new ones.

Jacque- sorry about the sore feet from working. That stinks! I use to feel your pain when I worked in retail- on my feet for 9 hours straight.
You asked if we ever lose our appetite- I do from time to time. The problem is when it comes back it comes back in force. I am suddenly extremely hungry- sometimes after a couple of days of not feeling hungry at all. I think mine is due to unbalanced levels of things in my body. (the technical definition, right? I am not so knowledgeable).
As for your hubby eating bad- like I was talking about before- my bf sits in front of me and eats mountains of food. Sometimes he plops right next to me while I am eating my little bowl of bran and starts slurping down a plate of food the size of Mt. Everest. Very annoying.
By the way- have you got your car back?? It sucks not having a car. My bf's has been broken for weeks and I am going nuts taking him everywhere. Can't even complain because he got me my iPod. :lol:

kjk- can you get any meds for the migraines? I use to take Imitrex for them but it doesnt work on me anymore. Are you going to the doc?? I know it is miserable- I am so sorry and I hope you feel better soon! Take care of yourself!
By the way- I love figure skating too- it is amazing what they can do on skates. I would love to be able to do that!

NBK- David Weber writes the Honor Harrington series. Every title has the word Honor in it. Check it out at Amazon. com. My bf loves him and he has been reading sci fi for years.
Hope you had a great weekend.

WOW- this post is really long so I need to wrap it up!
Just two quick questions-
Does anyone know where I can go either in a book or on the web to get a good basic workout with weights and resistance bands from home? I need something simple and easy to follow. For the exercise challenged!
any ideas from anyone on things I can cook today to last through the week? Any crockpot ideas? Things that freeze easily?? Help!

Okay I better go- thanks for all the support!
You guys are the best! :D
:spin: :spin: :spin:

01-16-2005, 11:13 AM
CrimeGirl, Fast Foo Nation is an amazing book! Honestly, aside from just giving you knowledge you probably won't want to eat fast food for awhile after reading that book ;) At least I didn't!

I have no idea on good exercises :( How long until you get that game?? You'll love it!! As for recipes, I always make Vegitable Beef Soup and then make TONS just remembering that a serving is about a cup and I take that to work for lunch... also, check out and both have health links (I think) as does :D Good Recipes there and some rather easy!

I got my car back :D I can't even begin to tell you how happy that makes me!! Ryan (my hubby) picked it up for me last night...

01-16-2005, 03:11 PM
Good afternoon!

CG, I am down three pounds. I also need an update on you and KJKs points! I either could not find them for the whole week or they were not posted each day. This week was such a busy week! I do not know if it would be worth it to buy Supersize me. I barely watch movies more than once. However, if it costs about $5 to rent it, but you can buy it for $10 than it might be worth it b/c you can share it. I have not read the book you mentioned. I am always so busy reading physical therapy books, I know you know exactly what I mean! As far as beginners videos with bands I heard that Slim in Six is great. I have several who have done really well with it. I think that it can be bought on I know that I have seen infomercials on it before. I have never tried it myself.

Red, we will meet our challenge! I am not sure why I picked 142. I guess it is b/c I used to look at that # and think that it was high. Now I would just like to attain that weight. Once I am there I will shoot for 135. Losing 7 pounds from 142 is a lot more attainable. I guess I just think weird. I realized why I have gained weight each time. The 1st time I was in undergrad in physical therapy and I blew up. This time again, it was grad school. Stress makes me eat. I tend to be a laid back person but school gets to me. Now that I am over a year into school, I just got to the point that I said to myself, look there will always be stressful times. Eating will not help anything.

Well as far as last night and the ravioli incident, it was not worth it. We stayed up until about one a.m. watching Office Space and when it was time to go to bed I b/c really sick to my stomach and threw up. My body is getting so used of eating healthy that it was wondering what the heck I had fed it. When I shoveled it in my mouth it felt good, but it was not worth it.
This morning when I woke up I drug out an old Firm cardio step video and I did that for an hour. It was tough but about thirty minutes after I am done I feel so alive!

little grasshopper
01-16-2005, 03:34 PM
Hi guys! I love the posts this morning. Very inspirational! The scales say I gained 2 this week. I'm not worrying about it though because earlier in the week it said I'd lost and I'm SERIOUSLY pmsing right now. I use to gain 5+ pounds about this time every month, so I'm excited to see where I am this time next week :) The jeans are better this week than last, so I'm not worried about the number. :)

Crime girl - I'm SO jealous of the ipod! BF was playing with a friend's today and is in love so maybe we'll have one soon :) And yes, you do have to play nice with your man for a bit. :) Very sweet that he thought to get you one. Mine got me a mountain bike for graduation. It was one of the sweetest gifts I've ever been given! So I know what you mean - suddenly you realize how sweet and thoughtful they can be :) As for recipes. I usually make a big salad and eat off it for a few days, then make a fresh one. I also make soups and pastas a lot and eat off those all week. Or I'll cook a roast with veggies - then put any leftover meat in soup or chili later. Oh, and I did make it through the charity dessert thing...I bought an apple crumble and baked it - smell almost killed me but I made it through. ;)

Stormy - I know exaclty how you feel about the ravioli. At first if I left the diet at all I got SO sick! Instantly. Now I can leave it slightly and be okay but nothing extreme. I've done the slim in 6 video...I know I have because I have the bands and stuff - but I can't for the life of me remember the videos! silly! Congratulations on your weight loss again!! You're right - you'll hit your goal!!!

KJK - I'm so sorry you're so sick!!! I have never had one and hope I never do, they look just awful!!!! I hope you're back to your old self soon!! I lose my appetite too sometimes. I have to make myself eat because I'm afraid I will pig out later if I don't. Or I'll hit the end of the day and realize I only ate 1 meal that day and it wasn't a big one either. I try to make myself eat SOMETHING every two hours. Usually I have the other problem though :) I have to make myself stop eating.

Jacque - you're such a great loser :) :) Congratulations!!! You're getting there one week at a time :) You're doing great!! And I'm so glad you got your car back!!

Red - I can picture you in that scarf :) Way to go hitting the gym so regularly!! How is the job thing going? Ready for the week - you're a lot closer to it's start than we's it looking :)

I know I'm leaving people out but this is long already!! I'm so sorry. I have got to go to the gym before BF gets back. We have tons of cleaning and moving boxes to do today and I don't want him thinking I'm sneaking off to the gym to avoid it :) Taking it easy today. I need to move but need a small rest too, so no weights. Walking and abs, and stretching that's it.

See you guys soon!! Oh I'm going to get fast food nation!

01-16-2005, 04:06 PM
Maybe I didn't lose as much because it's that time :S I've never paid attention to my weight around that time at all though...

01-16-2005, 05:15 PM
Goodmorning Ladies.
I had a pretty good weekend. On friday I went to my pump class and once again it was like 30C in there (90 F??). I didn't do the shoulder or lunge tracks as I was actually pretty sore and weak from thursdays workout.. and I think I had overdone it a bit, going from being lazy as a lazything all over christmas and new year to going hardcore at my routine again. Overtraining is a real issue with me! Anyway took some time out for me over the weekend and was totally antisocial, aside from talking to my boy. I tried my goal jeans on and the overhang isnt as bad as it has been so I suppose I am toning and just not losing at the moment.
I had some good food options tho over the weekend. i bought a roast chicken on friday night and just ate 1 breast with carrot sticks prunes (weird I know) on friday night.. in fact I totally OD'd on the prunes, but they just taste soo good. On sat I made ratouille and guacamole - just mashed avos with a chopped tomatoe and some tobasco and lemon juice.. and had two tortillas with chicken and avo for lunch and dinner in the end! I also had some strawbs (with icecream and chocolate but it was hot!!).. I found this really cool kiwifruit juice that had aloe vera in it! REALLY good for the digestive system. and tasty... then sunday I was pretty good again too! lots of veges so I am feeling nice and healthy and i think overeating raw veges can't be too bad for me!

As for what I look like.. well the blonde hair thing is correct 1/2 sun bleached 1/2 highlights! my natural colour is a dark blond, but because my hair is so thick it looks almost black as no light gets through.. odd... anyway I have a tan.. cos it's summer and the lean thing, well i used to look that way, and am getting there.. but I do tend to carry weight distributed all over my body, so when I was enormous (well for me) most people didn't realised how big i was. But at the moment I have lost faster from the top half of my body so I am a true pear shape. Umm blue eyes and that's about it! Thanks for who ever decided not to think of me as a hobbit or gollum.. although I do have big feet!! Most kiwis are just your general european heritage mix.. although we also have people with maori or pacific island heritage who range from olive toned skin through to a dark brown colour.. and then there are the asians and the african refugees who live here too.. so really we are one big melting pot!

As for my BF.. yeah he gets pretty shitty with my putting myself down alot.. but I have low self esteem and although it is getting better, it still outs.. especially when I see his exes and they are TINY.. like a size 2-4 american and gorgeous.. and I know he enjoys my company and my brain.. but you know when your whole life people have been like oh you have such a great personality and it would be nice for once for people to say DAMN she's hot... i dunno..

Crime girl.. i so had you as an avid reader too! The Body for life book has good dumbell and barbell weights you can do at home. it also is really motivating!

Well I hope evryone else had a great weekend and I look forward to catching up!

01-16-2005, 05:53 PM
NBK, you are tall, blond hair (somewhat), blue eyes, most girls would die for that. You should not be so hard on yourself. What matters most is your inner self even though so many people do not place value on that. Your BF should count himself lucky.

Jacque, GH is right. You have to watch it. You can gain up to five pounds with TOM. So do not get discouraged at that time of month.

Michi, great job with your weight loss!

Little GH, wouldn't that ipod be great for you when you work out? Maybe he'll suprise you with one!

01-16-2005, 06:42 PM
NBK, I'm agreeing with Stormy on several levels... 1: I'd kill to be tall and blonde ;) (I guess I'm stuck with short and frizzy brunette hair) and I'm sure your bf sees that his exs don't go very far beyond being skinny American flakes. (I can call them American Flakes because I'm American ;) !) I'm also sure that he sees how beautiful you are both inside and out :) ((HUGZ))

01-16-2005, 06:51 PM
I totally pigged out at lunch! (Ok, maybe not too bad...) I had 4 cookies, and a cheese quesadilla... and a :gasp: Pepsi... But hey! That's ok, because I'm allowed to eat unhealthy once in awhile! And I'm making major progress and... (adding up calories on fit day) I'm still only at 740 calories (give or take a few) so I'm fine!! Just have to get my fill of Veggies at dinner!

I made a deal with my hubby... he could eat all he wants in front of me (Taco Bell, McDonald's etc) but he has to join the gym with me!! (Because his buddies parents own the only gym in town and so he can get us a 50% discount so we'd only pay $50/month instead of $100/month!!) And He has to work out with me at least 4 times a week!

01-16-2005, 06:57 PM
Thanks guys.. I know I am being a whiny little snot at the moment. Sorry about that....I know I have an incredible amount to be thankful for about my life and lot!..Sorry.. *kicks self in butt and demands to stop being so whiny*

Jacque, I love your american flakes saying! he he... I went to school with a girl who was the complete spitting image mentally and socially as Cher at the start of clueless.. he he.. so I called her AP or american princess.

ooh oooh i saw someone was talking about fast food nation! That is a really interesting book. I think it gives you an appreciation of the history of fast food and also really turns you off it! I also read the Mcdonalds story (like a biography on mcds's) and that was really interesting too. I suggest you either buy it or get it out from your library - CG maybe you could borrow supersize me from the library? that way you probably only have to spend $2 or something. I haven't seen it yet, but am intrigued by the idea.

01-16-2005, 07:01 PM
jacque - that sounds like a great idea - having someone to work out with is a great motivation too. Also you'll probably find that as he gets fitter he'll stop wanting to eat the junk, as you'll be making better progress than him.. and I found that as I got fitter, my cravings for crap decreased, and I really noticed a decrease in my performance when i had eated greasys the night before going to the gym. Good idea to fill up on veges..

a good tip - when watching movies or tv and you feel like snacking, make carrot and celery sticks, and if you need dip, try low fat hummus or salsa. Much healthier than popcorn(unless you can enjoy eating it plain!!) or chippies or cookies!!

01-16-2005, 07:03 PM
Good morning. Happy Monday early! Crime girl, thanks for the new thread. You are so efficient, putting in the link and having the old one closed.

Crime girl -- I'm glad to have you back on the thread. We miss you greatly! So the ipod has won out over us, has it?!! :cry: Well, can't say I don't blame you. . .

I haven't seen Supersize Me but I agree with whoever it was said it, I'd buy it and share. It surely is educational and maybe it'd be good to watch over as a reminder if you start slipping. Fast Food Nation I think too is a must read though I have it and haven't finished it. That reminds me, I will get it out. It's not an easy read but it is extremely informational and I think we all owe it to ourselves to inform ourselves about things. This book also talks about how workers are exploited and how these jobs are really deadend for people. People don't realize the exploitation of workers that is going on right in their own country, not just in Chinese factories. Definitely, read it CG. I think you're the type that likes to be informed. Hats off to you!

Send your boyfriend to Japan for a while. He will be astounded at how "tiny" the portions are and the jolt he gets from that may make him realize how huge the portions are in the States. Not in some cities, like New York, but elsewhere I've been, I am shocked now to see them. It actually makes me angry because it is almost insulting to be shoving this amount of food on people, so many of who have weight and health problems. It's like giving candy to a kid with diabetes. Also, the baskets of bread that come out are unbelievable. I get upset when I see my father eating piece after piece as we wait for the meal. Not only is it unnecessary, it's bad for you. When he came to Japan he said for the first time he didn't feel uncomfortable after eating and during the day from heartburn, gas etc. Overeating is so not just about looks and fat. Ok, offa my soap box! Morning caffeine kick!

Thanks for the congrats on my weight loss. I am feeling so much better now that I'm seeing results of my efforts. I have confidence back that I can whip this once and for all, or even for a while for that matter. Your help has meant so much. Thank you as always!

Ah, you saw my Clooney dream. I was wondering why no one commented on that. Of course, he looked much better in my dream than he did on TV. And yes, though I was playing it cool on the outside, I was all a giggle inside. Don't I have great dreams. And that was just one part, the Clooney part. There were others! ;lol3; Heh, if you don't have a real life, it helps to have a great imagination! In fact, when I was a teen and starting the battle with my weight, I remember for a while there I would just totally imagine eating pizza or so and I would be satisfied with that. I was always kind of a trip. Don't need drugs even. Cheap and not dangerous!

As for the job front, I'm still stalling there. My heart is not with the publishing. I'm not a publishing type. It's all too serious for me. I love books but the people who tend to make them tend to be far too serious for me. I can be very serious but I need to have my fun too. I'm really torn and I'm afraid the publishers will sense my hesitation and decide against me. And I'm thinking I may be kind of happy. At the same time, I'm thinking this is an opportunity to expand and do more things later that will help me to really have the life I want, not just in my dreams, not just in my head! Tough one. But one thing you said really hit home, that the people who are real friends will keep in touch. I don't really need many real friends. I like the camaraderie of the guys at work. It's mostly just jesting and joking and shooting the bull over beers afterward (or in between deadlines even!) but I suppose, as I've said before, that's no reason to stay at a place. And sometimes I do start to think something more might develop from just a friendship and it's easy to allow yourself to just keep dreaming with all the banter, which sets you up for a letdown when you realize there was nothing more. Making a break is perhaps the best. I understand why guys get into their circles of friends, especially in countries like England, Ireland and Australia, where pub life is a big part of the culture. It's easy and it feels good and it's easy to just never go anywhere your whole life except between your house, the office and the pub. Not a good thing.

Speaking of Ireland, the Irish fellow at work brought me back a jar of Irish relish made with Irish stout. You can definitely taste the beer! It's neat. I put it on sandwiches. Relishes, mustards, spices, they're lifesavers for keeping the calories low and yet not having things so boring.

What kind of facilities do you have at school to cook if any? You say you want to freeze things but is that for eating once you get home or can you zap some things in a microwave during the day and eat? I do that at work. Freeze stews and curries and brown rice, bring them in to work and heat them in the microwave.

stormy - three pounds!! Great going!! :bravo: You've beaten me and you deserve to. I don't think I even deserved to lose 2.2 lbs this week. I was out drinking twice and even though I was exercising and eating better when I wasn't drinking I wouldn't have been surprised if I'd stayed the same. I'm going to try to be much better this week.

I understand your picking 142 now. 140 sounds kind of boring, doesn't it? The ravioli incident! :lol: It sounds like a crime case. Amazing that you could work out the next morning after being sick the night before. You see what you can do when you put your mind to it, eh?

little grasshopper -- I am reminding you of what you told us to. You will gain because of the water gain because of your detox program. So, DON'T forget that!! I'm really glad to hear you seeming to take this gain so easy. You've got your sights on the right things, the jeans fitting better. You know this only a temporary thing and doesn't reflect the real picture. Good for you!

You are really doing well with the gym, aren't you. :bravo: How much more weight are you looking to lose, or are you just going by how much fat you have on you. Numbers are hard to gauge unless you've been there and can keep muscle tone constant.

My week is looking so-so. Got an interview Wednesday which always make me kind of nervous because I have to be "up" for them. (I'm doing the interview not being interviewed.) But it's in Japanese and with an older man and I'm often worried about "getting the story" and hoping he'll be talkative enough and say interesting things, which makes my job later of writing the article much easier. That's Wednesday morning. Hope it goes well.

Jacque -- Congratulations on your loss!! Three pounds! Hurrah!! Hurrah!! :cp: :cp: :cb: :cb: You SHOULD be proud. You've done so well this week and you really, really deserve to have this victory. Well earned. Well done. I'm so proud of you! :goodvibes: Yes, actually, I thought you would have lost more and you probably have. It'll show up later so if you're at all disappointed, although three pounds is nothing to sniff at, just hang in there and keep it up. Don't slack off as I would tend to do when I'm doing well. Good luck!

Michi -- Good for you too! Looks like whatever you're doing is working for you. Your goal sounds very doable. 210 by Valentine's Day. You can do it! Yes, I was wondering about the rain. Seen some really bad pictures coming out of there, houses washed away and all. Have you been affected at all? I hope not.


Well, I had a great day Sunday. Walked over an hour to the gym because I got a little lost, then took a longer route to stop at a store and the library. Went to the gym, and it's all without coffee this days! Amazing how my body is adjusting. It's definitely harder without the caffeine boost but I can do it. I just realize that I won't be as revved but the energy is still there to draw on if I just get going. In fact, it seems much more stable, more dependable. I am something of a workhorse, have incredible stamina and can just keep going and going once I DO get going and that can take some doing. I'm learning to just jump in, kind of like jumping into the pool instead of going in inch by inch because it's oh so cold! There's a big bookstore under the gym and I'd been stopping in there, losing momentum for the gym but recently I've been forcing myself to just get in the elevator and get up to the gym and jump on the treadmill while I'm still warmed up from walking there. I get the cardio out of the way because I know I tend to blow it off and then I do the weights, which to me are like no work at all. Sitting down, lying down, I could just work out all day with weights, especially because in between sets means chatting up all the cute guys! I give lots of compliments to the bodybuilders, especially those with great thighs! my weakness! They love it. I also give form pointers to the beginners. Yesterday there was a cute Aussie I know there. He's obviously gay (the dolls usually are!) but since I'm not looking to pick the guys up, just enjoying myself and them! I had a great time. In fact, it's fun with the gay guys because when I say something like, "now that guy's got fantastic legs," and look on admiringly they're more likely to readily agree with me! :lol: The women aren't such unabashed flirts as me and also, most of them down in the "heavyweight section" (and there aren't many) are not too friendly, either kind of scary themselves like I wonder if they're on steroids or something because they look so mean or they're the ones looking quite scared of all the moaning, groaning, and grunting going on around them. Those type usually flee back to the cardio machines pretty quickly and never return.

Anyhow, when I'm in form I am totally in my element in the gym, admiring the boys and working up a sweat myself.

So, then I took the bus home and actually made a salad with hot brown rice on it. Delicious. I definitely feel the fat disappearing from my mid-section. Now, to just KEEP it up!!

01-16-2005, 07:07 PM
Wow, I see there are all these posts while I was typing. I wasn't getting notices, guess because i hadn't subscribed to the new thread. So I'll have to get back to you later. NBK, hi there! I'll read your posts later. I was wondering where you were, but remembered you'd said you'd be away for a bit. Later! :wave:

01-16-2005, 08:36 PM
Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the well wishes. I'm feeling a little better today, still a little lightheaded, but all in all, doing so-so. I'm off work tomorrow, so hopefully I can sleep in and get some rest and then be able to work out. Keep your fingers crossed!

So, I weighed in this morning, and I lost 1.5 pounds this week...which I am amazed at because it is that time of the month, and I thought for sure I had gained! ;) But at any rate, I'm stoked. Now I'm at 8.5 pounds lost, moving along on that journey!

Going to go grab dinner now and relax some more....hope everyone is doing well! Congrats to everyone on doing fabulously last week, let's keep it up this week!!!!

Kelly :D

01-16-2005, 08:38 PM
KJK pleased to hear you are feeling better but have the day off work tomorrow. I think so often people try to be staunch and don't take the time to allow their body to heal properly. Well done of the weight loss too! You're doing so well. 8.5 lbs is heaps!

little grasshopper
01-16-2005, 09:00 PM
Hi there. We did our weekly grocery shopping and I'm finally eating dinner. Salmon with green beans and cauliflower...that's a veggie I have never liked but I'm finding I can eat it now. :) Yeah!!! Anything new is GREATLY appreciated :)

Everyone is doing so well - it's really exciting! Too bad we can't do a total pounds lost as a group thing. We're using so many different methods of watching though - jeans, tape measures, scale, any anything I've missed :) It's very exciting!

Red - My original goal was 125 but I'm going to wait and see. I'm mostly going off fat. I will keep working out and keep eating well and see where I land. I know me and if I set a goal - as soon as I hit it I will pig out! and celebrate my way all the way back to my high point again :)

NBK - you and I seemed to be built very much a like. I gained 20+ pounds once and no one aside from my boyfriend could tell...I could tell because my clothes were REALLY uncomfortable - jeans especially...thank god for low rise jeans! It's sounds great, doesn't it - to be able to gain and no one realize it but the problem is that I can carry a ton of weight and not realize how unhealthy I am! I'll think I'm doing great and I'm actually at risk for heat attack!

okay - I have to cut this short. Sorry. Have to make chicken and dumplings for Bf this week.

01-16-2005, 09:19 PM
LGH - I KNOW.. my other problem is that somehow I have naturally low blood pressure and VERY low cholestoral, even when I was on my "sit on your bum and do nothing but study and eat junkfood all day" 4-year diet. So aside from the weight issue, I could convince myself that otherwise I was healthy! he he..

But the cool thing is that my resting heart beat is now about 54 bpm and with a body fat of (don't be scared now) 38% i still have a long way to go with my fitness etc.. so hopefully i can it down to like 44 bpm! now that would be cool. I would be in league with olympic athletes.

01-16-2005, 09:24 PM
Red, you are in this to win it, eh? I am so proud of you. Glad you are enjoying going to the gym. It really helps if you like it.

KJK, glad you are doing a little better. Luckily you have MLK day off. You are really doing well with your weight loss.

CG, one crock pot thing that I do is that I put green beans, zuchinni, white corn (lower carbs), peas, diced tomatoes, mushrooms, fat free beef broth, meatballs, and italian seasoning and cook it on low all day. When you get home you will have a great soup you can eat all week.

Jacque, I am watching Home Makeover and I just thought of you (b/c of Ty). These
shows always make me cry. This one hits home especially b/c this guy who they are building the house for reminds me of one of my patients who I had several years back. He was also shot and b/c a quadriplegic. We b/c very close through out his rehab process. Unfortunately, he passed away last year. Anyway, I really like this show, they do awesome work.

01-16-2005, 09:27 PM
GH, I too really want to get my body fat down. I started at 34% and now I am at 32%. It gets me sick to even think about that. I would like to get to about 16-18%.

Crime girl
01-16-2005, 09:31 PM
Hi guys! WOW- the posting machinery is at it again. You guys are so good about posting and chatting- it so nice that there is always someone to talk to. :D

Jacque- Thanks for the info on Fast Food Nation. I think I am going to attempt reading it in my nonexistent spare time. :lol: Maybe I can download and listen to it? I might try the iTunes site for it. I hope it totally turns me off from fast food.
Veggie soup is a great idea- I think I will put some on tomorrow in my crock pot. It is getting somewhat cold here (50 degrees) so soup would be good! ;)
Congrats on getting your car back- bf is getting his truck fixed this week so I can feel your pain. I have been running around like crazy to take him everywhere- it is getting old. :D

stormy- Congrats on the 3 pounds!!! :bravo:
I will check out Slim in Six- thanks for the suggestion. I will have to get back with you on points- I have no idea but I log them in my journal so I will check.
I watched Office Space last night too while I was reading and downloading tunes. I am sorry you got sick last night! That stinks. You are feeling better today though right?

little grasshopper- I am so happy you are seeing results in your clothing!! :bravo: That is what counts in the long run!
Don't be jealous of my iPod- I will tell you if you are thinking about getting one it is worth every penny. My bf really delivered this time so I have to be nice to him!
It is so funny- I just got back from doing my grocery shopping too. WOW- it costs an arm and a leg when both me and my bf are trying to eat right. It was about double what we normally pay. :lol:

NBK- Good job with the jeans! :bravo:
Thanks for the Bofy for Life suggestion- I actually have that book and just forgot that he does put a routine in there. I will go get it out and look at it. :D
Great idea about renting from the library- I am going to check into it.

red balloon- you are sounding much better! Keep up that great work you are doing!! :D
Like I told Jacque I will definitely try to read or listen to Fast Food Nation- I am glad you guys have read it or heard about it. A bunch of people at school are reading it.
As for your dreams- I want to trade dreams with you. Yours are much better than mine. I would love to see George Clooney in them. I am normally doing something boring or being chased by someone. :lol:
You have had no coffee??? You are my hero- I have to have coffee! :coffee:
I have decided I am sending my bf to you- so please straighten him out for me on portion sizes and the fact that we are gluttons over here. He goes beyond what is considered normal here so his portions are huge.

kjk- I am glad you are feeling better and the migraines are fading. Stay away from caffeine and sugar until they are gone.
Congrats on the 1.5 pounds!!! :bravo:

As for me today, I have done pretty good. I cleaned my house, bought groceries, and did laundry. I have not had a lot of time to read so tomorrow is going to be crazy. I have to finish reading so I will be prepared for class.

I bought two new pair of sneakers today and I am thrilled with them so that should motivate me to exercise.
Until later- have a great night everyone!

01-16-2005, 11:55 PM
WoW! So much and so little time, so sorry for not a "real" reply to everyone!

Congratulations to everyone on the weight lost this week! We've all been working hard and deserve to see these numbers drop :D

As for my drop, I kind of expected more, but my favorite Aunt, Flo... is due tomorrow so I'm sure she's the culprit in some of it ;)

01-17-2005, 07:48 AM
Help! I've been eating sugar, scones and chocolate and now Good & Plenty that my sister sent me. This is what I get for not eating "real" food after a lot of walking. Oh well, I'll stop now. Bad girl!!

I got on the subway two stops later than usual and got off one earlier going both to and from work today! That is about an extra hour or walking BOTH ways!

Sorry, but there's no time to write now. Must be up very early tomorrow morning. Wishing all well. Please wish me luck, perseverance, not to go lax after a mere few days of being good. Well, foodwise I was good today but just now was kind of losing it. Later, people!

little grasshopper
01-17-2005, 08:02 AM

Jacque - I'm right there with you! Just stay away from the scale. Take it from me - I didn't take my own advice - stay away frome them :)

Crime girl - you too sound like you're doing better. Is the shock over being back in school wearing off? I'm sure this is a HECTIC semester though!! Last night I dreamed I was back in school and had to take some math class....the only problem - we had this eatstern modalities teacher that was the WORST teacher I've ever had in my life. So bad that every single student complained about her - in my dream SHE was the math teacher and we were all screaming about it! I woke up so mad. This woman was such a bad teacher every student failed her final. She didn't give us a text book (or tell us one to buy) didn't even teach what she tested on and used different names for the stuff we had heard of. She taught her day class all this stuff and just figured if we were missing it we could get it from them. HELLO - we didn't KNOW them! WTF??? I'm so glad that part of life is over.

Stormy - a 2% drop is huge! Are you doing the math yourself? When I did mine at home I got different numbers but then I have no idea how to measure myself. I just use the same place and tightness and that is enough to tell me if I'm losing..then I'll have the gym do it again. I'm shooting for the same. I feel crappy today though - I will try to get a ride in but I don't see lot of lifting today.

Last night my lab got a bit too excited and hit me under my chin with her head. hurt like all heck. I have a HUGE day and a whopping headache to match it.

Red - you DO sound much better this week! I'm glad you had a loss. You fought very hard for it. Just keep moving and eating clean and that weight will fall off :)

NBK - That is a LOW heart beat :) I have no idea what mine is. I know it's much higher than that. I use to have low bp too but over time it's leveled out a bit. When I get scared it drops again though. I use to have a real problem with the bp would keep dropping and dropping and I'd pass out! scared mom so much she never made me go :) I'm jealous of your hot weather. Our windchill factor today is 11! tomorrow the actual temp is suppose to be 11!! I'm so glad I got a gym membership!!!

Well I'd better get going - Hello to anyone I've left out. I know I didn't hit everyone but as usual I'm running late. AG! Talk to you all this evening!

01-17-2005, 04:42 PM
Good morning, just a post to say that and I'm off to the stable, trying to get in a ride. Hopefully, the ground won't be frozen. Haven't been out there this early yet this year, not without not being able to ride. I'm jealous of all your losses. I want to see a bigger one this week! But you know, I was just looking at Jacque's weight tracker and I thought, wow, 7 lbs lost. I remember when it was just 4 lbs lost and then there was this 1 or 3 somewhere in there, which didn't sound like much by themselves but now when I saw 7, it was like wow! Yeah, simple math, simple addition over time adds up and that is something. I will aim for at least a pound loss this week. I think I can do better but even if I don't it will be something, right? Gotta keep moving. Gotta keep moving forward and downward with my weight. Say goodbye to this fat, free myself from it!

Ok, gotta go. will read the posts and write more later. :wave:

01-17-2005, 06:22 PM
Red - grr I am sooo jealous.. The horse I have been offered to ride isn't available now until late february... It's so hard, I got reminded how much I love riding and now I'm being made to wait he he.. I hope you get a good work out with your horse. what sort of movements are you working on? I think ages ago you said you would love to ride in portugal? me too.. or I would just love to even to got hte spanish riding school in vienna. The world is really small tho - I have a serbian friend whose father used to groom at one of the lipizzaner studs! hmmm horse smell. I might just clean my gear tonight for the memories he he...

Work is boring today, more drawings to do and after the excitement of yesterdays site visit and getting to see all my design work in the flesh I just can't settle. Of course it would be ona day when the office is full of important people so I can't fluff around! he he..

Eating is going well this week, I seemed to have tamed my never decreasing appetite. Now to get the exercise going as well and I will be sweet! he he.. getting a little stressed about not meeting my valentines day goal, but these things take time and I know I am not as committed as I could be.

LGH- yeah the bloodpressure thing is a doozie, combined with my low oxygen levels in my blood, when I go tramping in the mountians all sorts of fun and scary things happen! he he... but the dentist one is classic.. good move.. ugh I have to get braces this year...

Jacque - TOM will play havoc with your weight! But a loss is a loss is a loss and as red says, they all add up, no matter how small!

CG - yay for new shoes. I really need new sneakers, but my current ones are just sooo comfy i can't bear to part with them. But I do agree, it should make exercise more fun! just think how cool you'll look!

Well back to the grindstone. I hope everyone is having a great day!

little grasshopper
01-17-2005, 06:49 PM
Hi everyone. Long day at work today. First day of TOM and it was **** this month. I finally caved and got a chocolate candy bar. It was too good! Worth every bit of it. But of course now I feel guilty. I had a ton of clients today and all I wanted to do was come home and go to bed. Oh well, I'm home now and planning to go to bed right now!

see everyone tomorrow.

01-17-2005, 07:48 PM
Hi everyone. I just got back from work after a long day. I did get a workout in for an hour this AM before I left for work. I have so much school work to do so I can't stay on long.

CG, I hope you have a great day Tuesday. I know that it will be your long day, but you will make it. Hang in there!

Red, I hope that you were able to ride.

NBK,you will make your Valentine's goal!

GH, get some rest. I hope that you will feel better soon.

Ok back to school work! I'll check in later

Crime girl
01-17-2005, 08:35 PM
Hey everyone! How is everyone this wonderfully cold night??

I am taking a break from studying for a moment but I can't stay long. I still have some to read before class tomorrow. :(

Jacque- I know what you mean about comfy shoes. I had a hard time letting go of my old ones even though they were seriously shot! I am really hard on shoes. :D

red balloon- I didn't catch whether you got a ride in or not- hope you did!
Get away from the candy young lady! Put it on a shelf way up high that requires you get a chair out when you want some to be able to reach it. :lol:
Next week you will see a bigger loss I am betting- have faith! ;)

little grasshopper- Still not over the shock of school- think I am now just resigned to the fact that I have no choice and it will soon be over. :D
Your dream about school was pretty crazy- what in the heck did you eat before you went to bed? watch something crazy on TV? Think good thoughts before bed tonight!
Don't feel guilt over one little treat- especially with TOM. How is your head now? Did you get rid of the headache? Dogs have no idea of their strength. They mean well but Charlie occasionally manages to hurt me on accident.

NBK- Great job with eating!!

stormy- great job with the workout! I say "Amen sister" to you on the school work. Are you adjusted now? less stress?
You are so sweet remembering that Tuesdays are my long days. ;)

Okay well I should go- I think we were suppose to talk about what motivates us today- oh well! sorry folks- I will adjust soon to school and start back on the themes and questions on a regular basis..

For today:
Question- If you could give a gift of anything in the world to someone special in your life- who would you give it to? and what would the gift be? (Money and access are not an obstacle. )
See yall later- as they say in the south! :lol:

01-17-2005, 08:36 PM
I'm starving and groceries are limited until hubby gets paid on Thursday... so I may stray a bit :( But trying to stay around 1800 Calories or so!!

Well off to dinner... getting free Boston Market tonight :D Then I'm going to workout and pass out :D Have a great night and day everyone!

01-17-2005, 11:55 PM
Question- If you could give a gift of anything in the world to someone special in your life- who would you give it to? and what would the gift be? (Money and access are not an obstacle. )
I would give my mom and dad a house :D They've lived in the same small house they lived in when they got married, and they've wanted bigger (3 kids with 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom is a tough thing!) but spent all their money giving their kids things, and not spending anything on them... so I'd give them a beautiful house with a jacuzzi tub and everything they could ever dream of!

01-18-2005, 12:14 AM
Hmm yeah I would give my mum and my dad both a house. Mum's house would be on the hill overlooking the beach and dad's house would be a single level house somewhere coolish so his MS isn't a problem.

well off to the gym to do some cardio. Think I will leave the weights until tomorrow.. the whole weakness thing on friday scared the daylights out of me! YAY YAY YAY my boy comes back tomorrow morning he he he it's going to be awesome to see him :-)

Catch you losers later (LOL)

01-18-2005, 01:06 AM
Ok, people, back home now but want to get out to the gym now so I can be back in time to get two cats to the vet and still have time to do some more work. It's cold but not windy so I'm going to take the bike to the gym. Quick look through the posts though so I don't get TOO behind. You guys are really typing away!

NBK -- your question was kind of depressing for me, asking what kind of movements I'm doing because we're nowhere near that and I think just to get to that point may be a long way off. You see, as I said before, my horse is just totally uncooperative and I'm not a strong enough rider . . . yet. . . to get her going enough so that we can even work on movements. I don't know. I still think I'm learning because learning how to get a horse going is a part of riding, or can be. Sometimes the younger staff get to ride my horse and they don't like to because they say she's too difficult but when the teacher rides her both of them can get her looking pretty good. So I know it can be done but I wonder if I'm not shooting myself in the foot sticking to this horse. I feel she is teaching me a lot but it's certainly not stuff that you can see, at least not without a long time. People say I've gotten so much better but I don't know. . .I wonder if I'd have learned so much more on a more cooperative forward horse. I only stick with her because I feel she is teaching me and because I would be so worried what would happen to her if I sold her. Riding stables in Japan suck.

Anyhow, if there's one thing I certainly get it's a good workout. I'm doing all the work, you see. About riding abroad, that's just a dream now because I don't have the dough, but I got the brochure yesterday from this place that does tours all over the world and I'm just going to page through that and dream a while. Although I'd like to do some scenic tours, say, in Ireland, I also would love to go to Portugal or so and ride Lusitanos or Andalusians, which I hear are cool. Oh, god the Spanish Riding School, that was always a dream. Do they take women now? I speak German so it sure would be nice. Actually, though I think I'm into the French style dressage, or would like to be, light and all. The German style does seem so heavy, not the Vienna school though. Ok, better stop with the horse stuff. I see eyes glazing over.

I hear you on the V Day jitters. We both have about the same to go. Whether you make it or not, you can do it very very close so keep at it. You never know. Besides, you could starve yourself the day before, eat no salt or sugar for the week before and take a diuretic if you really want to make that number!! I'm going for mine! stormy, did you hear that!

grass -- if your chocolate bar was that good then don't feel guilty. No sense feeling guilty over something you will pay for anyhow!! Tee hee hee. :s:

stormy -- good luck with the studying. Great that you got a workout in despite all that. I DID get to ride thank you. Almost didn't because the ground was still hard. Had to wait but got a lesson in, a bit short and no warmup ride by the teacher, which makes things harder for me but still, the sun was shining, beautiful blue skies, cold but no wind. It was great to be outside sweating.

crime girl -- thanks! I did put the candy up high but can get it without a chair. Nothing that high in my room really. Still, the extra effort helps me not to go after it. Besides, all my favorites (Good & Plenty) are gone. . . :^: I did get to ride, thanks. So good to be able to. And thanks so much for having faith in me. That makes me want to try harder and so far I am doing better than last week, I think. If I can keep the beer nights down to none or maybe just one, I think I will see a loss.

Your question: a gift to someone? I would give an ex-boyfriend whom I still love dearly (I left him.) immediate payoff of all his debts, his own extremely profitable company that really uses his talents, and is full of good workers who really like him and he likes and along with that make him instantly fluent in not only English but German as well.

Good luck, Crime girl, with your studies. I know it must be really hard. My brother was just telling me he was taking some classes and after all these years away from school he said it was really tough. This will pay off for you and you'll be so glad you did it. I can't go back and read posts now but how is your eating going? Are you getting any exercise in at all? Tell me, do you live at home? or are you away at a dorm or something? I get confused with everyone's stories.

Jacque -- rein yourself in there! Come on, make that weight tracker flower move along to the right! Don't set yourself up to stray. Are you talking about munching out on some cheap junk food. If so, remember, the junk food is not worth it. You'll still be hungry soon after. Your body wants nutrition. Try to get some cheap vegetables or fruit or something or make some wild rice with onions, lentil soup, something cheap but filling and nutritious. It'll certainly take the edge of your hunger and it'll keep your body happier for longer than junk AND it'll keep YOU happier even longer! :sunny: Come on, I am counting on you to set a good example around here for the less disciplined among us such as ME!!

What is "free Boston Market," by the way?

Ok, off to the gym for me. I only looked at the posts made since I said Hi this morning. I will look further back later. Sorry guys. Ciao for now!! :wave:

01-18-2005, 06:36 AM
Heh people. I'm back from the gym and taking three cats to the vet one at a time. I cycled to the gym and back, did some leg weight training and jogged, but only 2 K. Still, this was after riding this morning and the hour and a half of walking that that involves just getting there. So, despite the licorice and one ice cream sandwich I had today I'd still say I'm ahead of the game!

Ok, looking a bit further back on the posts. Hate missing anything. .

NBK -- you were talking about overtraining, sloth to superathlete overnight. I am the same way. It's all or nothing and when those nothings drag into weeks on end, the overnight auperathlete sets herself up for exhaustion!

Had to laugh about the decreasing "overhang" on your jeans. Sure know how that is. I was wishing for the blouses of summer almost when I was riding hoping I could hide my overhang from my teacher. Sweaters (since we're not allowed to wear bulky clothes) are much more revealing. But mine is definitely getting smaller as well! my overhang that is, not my sweater! :rofl:

So, you're a classic golden girl. beautiful! hobbit? gollum? :lol3: but, really, how do you have low esteem looking like that? I know, I know, it's not really relevant. Still, here you are getting adults saying they'd kill for your looks! And forget about boyfriend's exs. Just be YOUR best and you'll blow 'em away anyhow! Women guys say "damn, she's hot" have it rough too I think. Even if they have a personality or brains no one cares and no one wants to know either. i think if you DO have brains or a great personality, no one will say you're hot even if you are. Most of the "hot" stuff is because guys feel they can do anything at all with those type of women, anything at all except take them seriously! :lol: Anyhow, are you convinced yet. I'm trying to be.

I have really low blood pressure. It's barely over 90 on top. And my pulse is low, though not that low now. It was in the summer, around 55. I'm too scared to check my bodyfat now. It had been 28 percent for a long time but no longer I'm afraid. OK, maybe that's the next thing. Measure that. I don't know, NBK, would you want to have your pulse at 44? Isn't that super low. Wouldn't it mean that you'd have to eat less and less. I suppose it would mean you're training alot to get it that low so I guess you could eat.

Jacque -- great deal with the husband about the gym. When does it start, your membership, that is. Are you really going to work out together? Keep us posted! Great mini goal for Feb. Look at how close it is now. You'll get there for sure. Keep up the good work! :flow1:

kjk -- are you feeling better! Sure hope so. Pop in and say hi, OK? We miss you.

grasshopper -- Are you below 125 now? If not, how close? I like the total pounds lost thing as a group. Actually, isn't everybody weighing at some point? I know I said I wasn't going to but I am now. If we could it may be fun. We could have a tally for the regulars and a total for anyone who posts, even just occasionally. Any ideas? You know, grass, you talking about how you can carry a ton of weight and not realize how unhealthy you are. I think I may be the same way. I mean, I don't feel that fat but I am. I can see it on me but for some reason I just don't feel it. I mean, I exercise and move around. Maybe a lot of that is that I just don't know what it feels like to be thin. . . duh! I was just thinking today. I was telling people I weighed 73 kgs and I was thinking 73 kgs for a woman is a lot! Then again, I have a lot of muscle, big bones, yeah, maybe but. . .there's still a lot of fat on this body. I'd never been seen dead on the beach in a bikini or something! I guess I just get so used to being this way that I can't think of anything else and so have come to so accept this as the usual. I wish I could see myself at my goal weight or any lower weight as like a sneak preview, then revert back to my current weight. It would be such a shock I may fall into a deep depression. On the other hand, it may serve as a great motivation. What do you all think? If you could, would you like a brief glance into what you would look and feel like at a lower weight?

stormy -- hi. thanks for your kind words. Yes, I feel much, much better now. Oh, stormy, I don't know Home Makeover but I'm so sorry to hear about your friend dying. That must be so hard on you to get close to people through your work and then have them die. Was his death related to his being a quadriplegic? or was it something else. I'm really sorry.

01-18-2005, 07:15 AM
Here's the link to the 2nd chapter of "Thin for Life" and the discussion.

I think there's some really good reading here. Remember, this is not just for people who have reached goal.

little grasshopper
01-18-2005, 08:48 AM
Good morning guys. Another hectic day and then things will calm down. I'm still feeling crappy but better today. I am planning to hit the gym tonight and do cardio, upper body weights and then pilates class. That's the plan. I don't like it that I've missed days here - because it's too easy for me to fall out of going. Way too easy.

Red - I think I would like to see myself. It would be motivation for me. To see it would almost be like "see, you did it...." And it would give me a more concrete goal. I am between 135 and 140 now - depending on the day. Today I was 138. I seem to be stuck in those numbers...I've been here for about a month now it seems. I'm okay though - just being able to fit into those jeans is enough FOR NOW.

okay guys..sorry I'm being so short and MIA. I'll have more time after today. Talk to you all soon. lg

Crime girl
01-18-2005, 09:02 AM
I have only got a sec but I wanted to jump on before I go to school for the day- it is hard to post from there.

Red- Good for you with getting that candy away from you! Also- you are doing so great with the exercise- I am really proud of you!
As for me- I strayed from my eating and just haven't said anything. I am getting some exercise but I need to get with the program! I think I finally have my head right now so maybe it will get easier. My bf is now trying to lose too so that should help.
To answer your question- I live in a townhouse off of campus with my bf. It is nice to be off campus! I have a great neighborhood to walk in but I am an idiot and don't walk everyday. I also have a gym membership at the YMCA and rarely go there. On top of that I have a balance ball, weights, and resistance bands. Why can't I do one of these things??? It is a mystery! Not really- just use to being lazy I guess. How about giving me a cyber kick in the butt!
Byh the way- read your post about your horse- all your hard work with a difficult horse will pay off. I think they are like humans in that respect- if you give them love and support and stick with them they become loyal and even better to you then the horses that are easy to work with. It is good to have a willfull horse- she has more spirit and drive. I bet she ends up being the best thing for you and I bet you will be the best thing for her.

stormy- did I miss a post?? Did you have a patient die? are u ok? I am so sorry if that is the true.

Okay- I need to go- sorry I didn't respond to everyone-
Thanks to all of you for keeping me sane and offering much needed support-
Have a great day everyone!

01-18-2005, 11:45 AM
CG, good luck at school today. I had a patient die a couple of years back, I brought it up b/c Extreme Homemaker had a guy who was quadriplegic on it Sunday night and it reminded me of him.

GH, I am glad you are feeling a little better. I hope that you get your workout in. You asked how I calculate my fat percentage. Well this isn't as accurate as underwater weighing but I use my scale which calculates it through bioelectrical impedence. The problem is you have to be really hydrated when you weigh or it will read higher. I have a problem staying too hydrated b/c since I am on the road all day it is hard finding a clean restroom, so I try too not drink too much water on the road. This is hard for me b/c I am used to drinking tons and tons of water. Anyway, the scale gives me a clue as to how much fat I am losing.

Red, I am so glad you were able to ride. This patient who died, passed away when he went out to feed his horses. He was out in the pasture and his wheelchair b/c stuck in the mud. It was a very hot day and he could not get out of the mud. He suffered from a heat stroke and was found dead. This is the tough part of my job. I tend to get close to many of my patients and it is hard to not get close to them emotionally b/c I work with them through some of the toughest moments of their lives. Plus, I spend so much time with them. On Home Makeover, a team of decorators, contractors, etc. go in and redo or rebuild people's homes. Often it is a family who have been through very tough times. In Sunday's episode they went into the house of a guy with quadriplegia. They tore done the existing house, built two houses (one for his family who helps to take care of him), and made everything handicapped accessible. It was great. Anyway, I am proud of you for making it to the gym again. You are on a roll. We are going to have to start a countdown to the 14th. Are your cats okay, or did they just have checkups?

Jacque, I know what you mean about being on a budget. Plus, eating healthy really drives up the grocery bill. Hopefully, you are able to make good choices at Boston Market. Be sure to stock up on good stuff when you finally get to the store.

NBK, what does your bf do for a living? Helicopters...does he work offshore? How often is he gone? How are you doing? Sounds like you are doing a pretty good job working out. I think that it is easy to over do working out. Have you been working out for several years or did you just get into it?

01-18-2005, 05:06 PM
Ok girls, I'm joining a gym today :D I decided that I NEED NEED NEED something more than just myself... so I'm going to log off the computer after I click "Send" and go join a local gym! husband thinks it's a waste of money :( Poo on him! But I'm debating if I want to go for the 3 month membership of $40/month or the 12 month at $30/month... I'm probably going to be stuck with the 3 month since we're hoping to move within six...

As for eating, I've stayed fairly healthy!! I've had the occasional munch, but even that was either low fat cheese and whole wheat crackers... or cookies baked with sugar substitute :D So I'm proud of myself there!

Well girls off to join the gym :D Sorry I haven't responded directly to everyone... I'm so crazy busy that it's tough lately!

01-18-2005, 06:15 PM
Good morning, everyone. I slept in later than I had planned. All the working out must have played havoc. I went to bed early last night and was walking up at odd hours. I didn't do any work yesterday on these manuscripts I have and I didn't prepare my interview for today. So I have that to do in the next few hours. I don't mind the interviews themselves so much it's the preparation and getting a bit dressed up and such that tires me out. Also, I can't just lug my stuff around for the gym and so for afterward. . . whine, winge, I'm feeling so torn and hating it. People, help me with some advice, will you?

That job at the publishing house looks set. I'm bascially getting what I'd want but still dreading the thought of it. I am such a person who wants the banter, the camraderie of a workplace and I know this place won't have that. I picture it as the boring Japanese office, with people quiet and bent over their work. Not only because it's Japanese but because that's the way publishing houses tend to be. I worked in one before. And I'm already missing that part of the newspaper, which, on top of me loving the newspaper as it COULD be, I did love interacting with the diverse bunch of people we have on our desk at the paper. That is, in fact, what has kept me there, that and knowing I could goof of. When no one cares about you and your work, you don't care back. It makes for a very responsibility-free environment. Now, I'm thinking that it is like the trap of any group in which you feel comfortable but one that takes you no where. I do think the present environment of the paper, apart from the other foreigners, is hurting me, souring me, making me ever more cynical and sarcastic, which I don't like to be. The publishing environment is not anywhere near ideal and never will be. I need to be talking and interacting with the world, with life. Though I love books, making them seems to be in direct proportion inversely to what they do, bring the world to the reader. Making them isolates you. I suppose I should think of the finished product more than the process. In newspapers it's never the article itself that gives me a boost. It's getting the article. In publishing, unless I'm writing my own book (which is a thought but would be extra to my work in the office) I am the editor, not the creator and I have never been a happy editor. Do you think I can look at the potential for development in the areas I want to develop in, being there in the midst of book world and can justify the pain of the world itself? I don't know. I'm scared and feeling a LOT of anxiety. At the paper, however, I feel, because of the present management, abused, ignored and belittled and I think that does nothing for my talents. perhaps I can keep my hand in to the paper, by writing from the outside, one or two shifts a week inside. . . sorry to bother you with this but I need someone to talk to about it and don't have anyone. I want to keep this totally hush at the office. I've only told one guy but he's not so available to talk. Besides, he's not as objective as I think you would be.

Over to you. . at last!!


Not much action here, has there been. I was expecting a lot more. It's hard being so out of the time loop with you all. It seems like when I have time there is little here. When I have no time the posts pour in!

grasshopper -- Did you get your workout in? I hope so. Why were you feeling crappy? Physically, or emotionally, both? Do you know why you were feeling that way? Is it from the chocolate perhaps? 138 pounds. And you're pretty tall, aren't you. I had to figure it in kilos, just under 63. I would love to be there and I'm only just over 5 feet. You must look great. No wonder you are having trouble losing more. These last few are always the hardest. I see people in bodybuilding contests trying to get those last pounds off to get ripped and they do SO much work it's unbelievable. And they are barely eating. All the guys are lightheaded before the contests and still working out hard to keep the muscle. I'm not saying you have to knock yourself out. It sounds like you already work out hard but maybe you can find a bit of solace in reminding yourself that losing weight is not easy at all, especially in the stages you're in. The body wants to maintain the fat, it is doing its utmost to maintain it in order to help you survive in the case of famine or long marches across the desert or being holed up in a cave for weeks during a siege by hostile tribes. I think those people who can stay at an extremely low bodyfat level would all have been dead years ago. Today they can always find food. Our bodies are more suspicious of the fickle ways of the world. :lol: I mean, seriously, I hear the stories of people having survived 10 days after the recent tsunami. There was that boy who survived up in a tree with nothing to eat. And you have to wonder how he could do that. He was already thin. But he was probably one of the people with a "survivor's" body. He would be one of the people in the WW meetings, bemoaning how he couldn't lose weight. Well, here it meant his life. Something to remember, don't you think, when you're feeling frustrated. At least we have the choice.

Crime girl -- glad you could pop in and thanks for explaining things. Well, don't know if I want to exactly kick you but that was part of my reason for asking. I noticed you weren't writing so much about yourself and that usually signals . . .!!. . you know what!! ;)

Thanks too for your encouragement about my riding. I think the other people at the club who ride the horse (I really have no say in it) are doing it totally wrong for her. I think she merely learns to rebel more and more when people just kick and whip her as they do. But then, I have to learn to and my timing is off when I kick or whip her (these aren't as bad as they sound) but I have to learn and at least I think I am getting better. I do think she is smart enough to differentiate between the riders and be more cooperative with a better rider. I think she has already learned so many tricks, though because she was used for beginners all along. Also, she is just totally uncooperative. I mean, can't she be more forgiving of our sins? Of course, she doesn't know what I am doing for her, and the hardships I endure to pay her bills, but sometimes, a lot of times! I just want to give up. I don't think she is loyal to me because I can only get there three times a week and I am not the only influence in her life. However. I do bring her apples and carrots and sugar, which the others don't, so I know she likes me for that. I'm hoping she can feel the affection I have for her, which I know the others don't have either. She always gives me nickers and whinnies when she seems me coming and I can see her eye pressed up against the stall door as she tries to look down the barn row to see me coming. OK, it's probably just because I mean snacks, but maybe it's more. I mean, what is affection, really? Someone makes you feel good, whatever form that takes. Anyhow, I just ask the gods of the animals to help me out.

stormy -- Oh, stormy, that story of your ex-patient is horrible. Why did he have to go that way? Why didn't someone hear him, why couldn't he have crawled away (maybe not able even to do that, right?) why didn't he have a phone, a beeper, something? Questions like this must have plagued you when it happened, no? I am so sorry. How can you NOT get emotionally involved with your patients. I would think it's this very ability that would make you a good therapist. You must become very strong.

My cats are not well, none of them are and they are all chronic. Two of the gum and throat inflammation that is apparently incurable and I can only take them in for steroid shots. Two others, who suffered terribly at some point in their lives, one from starvation, the other from being hit by a car, are weakened and have chronic colds, running noses and sneezing. Also, I don't have the money to be giving them constant care. Still I think it's better than their alternative. The state for animals in this country is appalling. I think it's killing me though, caring for all these animals. And I see that the ones I took for shots are not even better this morning, which has never happened before. Usually the shots work right away. If they're not working right away I don't think they're going to work. It's so depressing.

Jacque -- I am so glad to hear that you are joining a gym! And don't just join, USE it!! Making gyms a part of my life was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was the reason I finally got my weight down when I first came to Japan. I can't believe your husband says they are a waste of time. All I can think is that he is the type that can exercise outside or at home. I don't like doing that and know I won't do as much as I would at the gym. The gym has been a sanctuary for ME and me alone. It is also a socializing place that doesn't mean food and drink is a part of that socializing, which it almost always is. I never think about the money for the gym and that's not because I have ample stores of it. It is a necessary investment, a necessary expense, like electricity or gas. That's the way I think of it. I'm glad you're sticking to your guns about this. How awful that your husband is not doing everything he can to help you in your weight loss endeavor. Since I'm single this is something I don't have although I have had boyfriends who were not totally supportive. They are no longer my boyfriends, not because of that I would say, but it was probably a large part of it and indicative of other things in the relationship I didn't like. I think that for me the encouragement and cheering-on aspect of a relationship, the making me laugh and feel alive, is the only reason I have them. I am so independent otherwise that these are my only real needs, not looking for completion through someone else, but looking for something more, something added. So if that aspect, the fun, the lifting-up when down, the sharing when I'm up, isn't there, I see no reason to continue the relationship. It becomes a burden. Everyone is different I guess and though I find it hard to fathom at times I understand it is apparently so. So, good luck to you. Maybe your husband is afraid of you becoming stronger and more attractive. He may feel threatened, like he is losing a bit of "control" over you, When people start doing things to please themselves it is a very scary prospect for many. I don't know. I just say to those type, "deal with it, I'm not here to carry you. You've got to carry yourself." Toughie, aren't I? :lol:

01-18-2005, 06:20 PM
Hi Ladies,
Well I didn't make it to the gym last night as when I got home, my flat was in an absolutely revolting mess, so I spent all evening ironing, cleaning, doing dishes and vacuuming. Not to mention all the normal stuff I do at night.. so I suppose that has to be equivalent to at least 10-15 min of cardio! and weights with all the furniture moving I did. My flatties seem to think if you put stuff under or behind the lounge suite it just disappears! he he.. oh well. the joys of communal living. but YAY YAY my boy is back home and I get to see him at lunchtime. Only 1hour to go he he...

Red - Sorry I didn't mean to depress you, I was just wondering how your training was coming along, if you were still working on bend and getting the horse up into the bridle, or if you had started lateral work like leg yields, half pass, shoulder in.. I spent 6 months trying to teach my horse to canter slowly once so I understand. The worst part was my instructor would say things like " oh i rode H bareback in a halter yesterday back from down the road, and you know I realised how uncomfortable his canter must be for you without it being controlled" in otherwords "you're ****!" he he. As for the overhang on johdpurs, well i now wear rugby jersey's. They're not bulky but they are warm, esp with a pair of thermals underneath and they still hide the overhang as you can't tuck it in. I remember in winter I used to always be accused of not sitting up straight as I would have my back protector on as a wind stop under my jersey and that thing made me look like a slouching turtle! he he

As for the overtraining thing I just get really macho about my weights and refuse to drop them even when it hurts so bad the next day I can't reach for my mouse at my computer! he he. My pulse rate of 44 would be in conjunction with lots of exercise, but that's about what it was before I went on my 5 year exercise hiatus. And I ate heaps then and didn't put on any weight! But 44-48 i think would be my ideal range. I just need to be really fit and healthy to make up for my mutant blood!

Jacque - Great work to join the gym. I love it and find it heaps better than exercising at home by myself.. also that is kind of where I met my boy too so it had added benefits for me. Good luck.

LGH - I hope you get some time to relax!

Stormy - My BF is a operator technician on one of our company's oil and gas platforms. So he works offshore on an oil rig.. He does mechanic stuff as well out there. He's away for 2 weeks then back for 2 weeks and it's been like that since we have been together. It's ok as I get my time to myself, but I do miss him heaps! he he the poor company's phone bill must get a hammering when he rings me on my cellphone in the weekends if I'm out! he he. He's back for 6 weeks this time tho so that's going to be awesome (although it will be the first time he's around for TOM and I am seriously considering taking my pill so I don't get it while he's here. He doesn't need to see that side of me yet! he he)

I have been going to the gym for about a year now. i started doing weights in may last year and have been really enjoying it. I am now doing the same if not heavier weights than my instructors in pump class so yay! But yeah.. I had 5 years of Not Doing any exercise at all.. that's how I got so fat. So I figure it should take me about 2-2.5 years to get the body I want and fix all the damage I did. (weight loss + metabolism+body fat+pulse rate)

CG-YOU have all that stuff and still don't do anything! lol you sound like me. I like buying stuff but using it is always the harder part. he he here's a *KICK* in the butt for you. Get out your equipment and make it work for you!!

Well off to bugg some people in my office about my boy being back.. yaya ya ya

01-18-2005, 06:38 PM
HI there NBK, someone from my neck of the woods. When is your hunk of a boyfriend getting in, by the way? I forgot if you said. Oh, now I see, in an hour!! Wow, well, you guys have fun. Oh, I need a new boyfriend in my life. When is he coming along. Someone I can have FUN with! I need it so much. I am sick of all the serious guys I meet. I am serious but I love to have fun. I play as hard as I work, and that's pretty intense!

NBK, after I wrote that post I was a little worried you might read it as my wishing you hadn't asked. On the contrary! I welcome your questions but sometimes questions bring up things we don't know how to answer without getting depressed about. I don't consider getting depressed a bad thing. Often it's the only way to bring about change, in things we do or the way we look at things. When you asked about movement, I just immediately thought of half passes and flying changes and it was like, dream on! but now I see that that is my stupidity. As you say in your reply, things like working on bend and getting the horse up to the bridle are very, very legitimate things, the basics that if you don't have you can't do any of the "tricks." And that's what we're doing. My horse is very stiff to one side and, not being forward, very hard to get on the bit. A lot of horses give their riders so much that the riders never learn at all how to do the basics. My girl is forcing me to learn the basics. It's just hard on my teacher and my teacher is very short on praise, VERY short and encouragement is nonexistent. I don't think she's a good teacher except for the fact that her eye is very good and that is so important in riding. She maybe can't tell me HOW to do something, even a lot less than most teachers, but she can tell me what is wrong and that is really valuable. I know that many rich Japanese buy horses from Europe and ruin them. Within a year the horse needs to have some trainer come over to "fix" it. Well, that's how the rider thinks. It's because they're such **** riders but don't have the humility to try to learn the basics. They want the horse to "perform" and don't realize that it takes two to do a good tango, right?! Please keep telling me more of your struggles in riding. Why are teachers so hard on students? Maybe it makes them feel better? Your teacher's comment is so passive-aggressive, isn't it? Rugby shirts, yes, they're great. The fabric is heavy enough to cover things up! Unfortunately, when riding we have to have everything tucked in so that isn't an option.

Well, NBK, it sounds like you're really ready to whip your bod into shape. having a doll for a boyfriend must be great incentive too. Hope you two have a great time together!! Don't forget about us though!

01-18-2005, 06:45 PM
Red - he he i hear you about rich people ruining good horses. It happens everywhere! lol.. ooh 20 mins to go I am soo excited (i know I am being an immature dick here but eeeh..). As for riding instructors.. lets just say ALOT of my self esteem issues are related to my riding instructor I had for 8 years. For various reasons I was subjected to a lot of verbal and emotional abuse.. but I'll talk about that another time.

As for finding a man.. I too am a serious person who loves to kid around.. I miss that a bit in my office at the moment, but I get my fix by organising team building events and working in with the social club for the whole company (my department is a quiet one!!).. anyway I was going to say, that it was kind of when I was happy with who i was and where I am going and had worked out a couple of strategies (like the gym) to get where I wanted that I found my man.. being happy in yourself makes it heaps easier I reckon!! Maybe go on a few dates with a group of people and you never know who you might meet. I made myself go to parties andbbq's whenI didn't even feel like it just so i could meet more people and this is what pretty much led to my current happy situation. I hope I have made sense.

And I won't ever forget about you girls! lol

01-18-2005, 06:51 PM
God, you must be excited, NBK!
Thanks for your advice. I agree with you totally. I'll just have to keep working on the things I know will make me feel better, happier with my self, my world, like getting the body I want!
And, yes, I think, with work, I will just have to force myself to go out and CREATE the things I want instead of passively sitting around hoping to find it where I am, then being bummed when I don't.

Have fun!!

P.S. As for your self-esteem issues, if you realize how they came about and why, then I think you're well on way to conquering them. Good luck!

little grasshopper
01-18-2005, 07:25 PM
hi guys. I did't make it to the gym. I keep thinking I should go and then telling myself I really don't have any business going.

I use to be on the BC patch and I came off it. I'm remembering how horrible my TOM was before! It's been 2 1/2 days of cramps in my back too and now I have an awful nerve headache shooting into my brain. Yoga helps it and I think I'm finally going to have to take something. I hate taking it because it makes me all groggy the next day but I'm going to have too. I missed an apt today. I had one first thing this morning and I just wasn't thinking straight and convniced myself I didn't have one. I left the poor girl waiting for me and hte worst part is that she scheduled it with ME yesterday because she was in so much pain! I felt horrible - I've never done that before. Hard to tell her I screwed up because I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN TOO.

Anyway, I am not going to the gym, despite the fact that I feel like I should. It wil only make me feel worse at this point. I did sleep today. Eventually my neck and hips will pop and it will all release - until then it's going to suck.

RED - this is the whole pain thing...sorry if I didn't explain it. I'm 5'5" with a small bone build...long legs and arms...porker torso. So I'm looking lean in the legs and arms and strangly plump in the torso :)

okay guys, I'm reading along but I don't have it in me to respond to everyone yet. I'm eating okay. Not much really. I guess that's a good thing - at least I won't gain weight.

01-18-2005, 07:38 PM
Red, I hope that everything goes well for oyu in your job situation. I know it must be a tough decision. Have you made a pro and con list? I do that often when I am trying to decide what to do. The one with the most pros wins. As far as my patient was concerned he could not crawl, he only had a little use of his upper extremities, he could not use a phone for the same reason. It is a very sad situation. Your poor cats! I hope that they all make it okay. I am sure that you take very good care for them. I can tell you are very loving from the way you take care of your horse and cats. Now about this guy who you still love? Since you broke up with him I guess that the relationship was not good, but to know that you love him enough to buy him all that stuff you said that you would if you could, is pretty amazing.

Jacque, congrats on the gym membership. Now you just have to use it!

NBK, your guy must have a great bod. Being from the coast, 75% of the guys I knew worked off shore. It sucks that he does 2 and 2. My brother in law works 7 weeks on and 7 off. He and my sister really like that.

01-18-2005, 07:52 PM
Hi stormy, the pro and con list I've been making up in my head, but with me, the emotional part always seems to come out ahead, in my head, so I think writing it down will also help. That I haven't done. And I should add, it's the positive emotions that I remember, not the negative ones, so I have to remember that too.

I thought your patient might have had more use of his upper body since you said he was going to feed the horses, though you said he was quadriplegic. It's too tragic. All I can hope is that he died in the midst of the horses that he must have loved. Small solace. Grasping-for-straws kind of solace.

Oh, I don't know if my wanting to do something for the ex is so amazing. I mean, it wouldn't be me doing it, it would be like magic, right? I always have a lot of affection for exes, whether they hurt me or I them, even if necessarily. As for this guy, he is/was an angel but I'm not such an angel. I need someone who can laugh along with my rough edges and even enjoy them. He was just too angelic. It taught me an awful lot but over the long run I just felt so suffocated. I like my bluntness, my anger, my irritation ALONG with everything gentle and harmonic. I like my punk rock hard rock hardass attitude along with the beautiful strains of classical music of a more mellow genre that also are part of me. My seemingly contradictory aspects of personality are what make me up and with him I was always feeling apologetic for the rougher ones. It's no wonder Rob Zombie and Claude Debussy stand side by side as two of my favorites! ;) Now, find me a guy who understands that, loves that and even encourages it and that'll be my kind of guy! Oh, and he has to look like George Clooney. . .!!!

01-18-2005, 08:31 PM
Red! You crack me up!! he he..A George clooney classical metal fan. he he he.. But I sooo hear you! he he The disco boy drove me nuts with his music... My lovely boy, who I must say I have just had the most fantastic "lunch" with is about as schizo as I am about music and stuff. he likes latin, african, jazz, cuban as well as all the hard rock stuff that i do too! we are freaks.. but we have each other. We will also do weird things, like on the extremely rare occasion we get pizza have a 1/2 meatlovers with extra bbq sauce and 1 side vegetarian with extra toppings...

Stormy - he does have a nice body.. well he has awesome shoulers and arms and that's my big thing so yay!! he he.. working offshore is a toughy.. I don't know if I could cope with 7/7 I get edgy enough with 2 but in some ways it does make life really easy to plan, I mean you always know when one of you has time off or is going to be around all the time.

LGH - you poor thing. I am so sorry to hear you are in so much pain! Have you gone off the patch because you are trying to concieve? or is it another part of your holistic treatment - reducing the levels or artificial hormones in your body? Why not try hugging a wheat pack to your stomach and lying in the fetal positon? I can understand your reluctance to take pain killers, they have a similar effect on me (which my doctors think is weird.. but I think they just don't understand that people can be sensitive to sedatives!)

Take care all...

01-18-2005, 08:44 PM
whoops! grass, I missed your post. Gosh, so sorry to hear about all the pain!?! I'm late out the door now. Interviewing some racing official. Will be in touch later. Hope you feel better real soon!!

01-18-2005, 09:16 PM
NBK, 7 and 7 as 7 days on and 7 days off. I must have said weeks, I apologize. My mind is a little burnt out.

Red, he was giving the horses sugar cubes. He did have finger flexion which allowed him to grasp a little. You will eventually find the right guy. I think that everyone has a soulmate, the tough thing is finding them.

01-18-2005, 09:28 PM
Ahhh Stormy, that sounds heaps better. Actually BF went for a job, in a slightly different discipline last year that would have meant 7/7.. he had it too from the sounds of things, but due to internal company politics and I think being too good at what he does now (no one to replace him) he didn't get it.. but management have offered him the chance to move into another way later on this year, so hopefully we will get the 7/7 ideal! he he.. the nice thing is that he wants to be home just as much as I want him there! (home means my flat.. he lives at home with his mum at the moment)..

Stormy, that is so sad about your patient, especially as he ws going out to give them sugar cubes, thats so sweet and the enjoyment he must have got from his horses..I am just about to cry.. oh..

I know a while back people were talking about extreme home makeover..we get that programme here and on monday there was this one for a solo mum who had taken in two drug addicted babies and brought them up, and had had her house ruined by a contractor.. it was so sad, and I DID cry at the end, with the reaction of the kids..but mostly at how excited they were for their mum being able to have her own room more than anything else.. I mean that was their first instinct. what sweet kids... and then the building crew gave the kids scholarships for college.. wow. I was wondering if anyone knows if they have an "update" page or something so you can find out how the families are finding life in their new house.

01-18-2005, 09:51 PM
Hi all....

I'm still here, although really busy. You guys are posting machines, I can't even keep up!

I am doing great with my eating, but sucking it up at working out. My alarm went off this morning and I just couldn't do it. I think part of that is because I had that extra day off this week, and my schedule was all thrown off. I'm hoping that tomorrow morning I can do it, because I need to stay on track. Someone kick my butt, ok???

Gotta go - you are all doing fabulously, keep it up!!!!


01-18-2005, 10:43 PM
KJK, get your rear in gear! C'mon girl you can do it.

NBK, there is a show on Mondays here that gives an update plus behind the scenes info on how they get it done. I have not seen it though and I am not sure what it is called. It is a new series that just started a couple of weeks ago.

01-18-2005, 11:19 PM
Stormy - thanks!!! I actually got my butt in gear after that post. I decided that if I was just going to be watching TV, I might as well work out too. So I walked for 20 minutes and then did a 25 minute weight I'm sort of back on track. Thank you for your encouragement!!!

Ladies - the show is called Extreme Makeover: How'd They Do That? It shows a lot of the projects that they don't show on Sundays, as well as some of the other neat things that the cast does while on location. I watched last night, and it showed the British carpenter guy going on a tour of a gang neighborhood with the sheriff, very eye-opening. And it showed how they planned the wedding for the disabled young man and his cute!!! That show makes me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! But I continue to watch....because Ty rocks!

Ok, watching Law & Order: SVU......I'll check in some time tomorrow.

Kelly :D

01-19-2005, 12:01 AM
KJK - welcome back! nice to see you again..and well done on the working out! I am off to the gym now. Then hopefully a nice evening in with my boy.. but we'll see.. knowing my luck the surf will be awesome and he'll be out till 9

Anyway I hope everyone has an OP evening and I'll catch you alligators later!
Take care

01-19-2005, 12:08 AM
Hey Girls, this ones quick... it's been one heck of a day :(

I joined a gym!! And spent 30 minutes of cardio and made arrangements to meet with a trainor on Monday!!

Then on my way home I got pulled over for... an out headlight...and if that's not bad enough... my insurance had expired :( So I freaked out... and ate 4 rice krispy bars :( Oh well... back on track now...

01-19-2005, 12:09 AM
Ladies - the show is called Extreme Makeover: How'd They Do That? It shows a lot of the projects that they don't show on Sundays, as well as some of the other neat things that the cast does while on location. I watched last night, and it showed the British carpenter guy going on a tour of a gang neighborhood with the sheriff, very eye-opening. And it showed how they planned the wedding for the disabled young man and his cute!!! That show makes me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! But I continue to watch....because Ty rocks!

Did I hear Ty?!?!? I Tivo all the shows (including the How'd they do that's!!) Ty is my boyfriend ;) But as I explained to my husband the thing that is so darn attractive about Ty is how much he helps out these people! And I cry so hard at every episode... This time I bawled through the monday night show too because this poor guy just broke my heart :(

01-19-2005, 12:39 AM
KJK, you did great! Glad you decided to work out.

Jacque, good for you for working out. So you sound like an emotional eater just like me. Well let it go and move on.

NBK, have fun with your bf!

01-19-2005, 04:17 AM
Hi people, just trying to catch up here. Had that interview. Didn't go to well. The guy wasn't used to interviews and went on and on and I didn't want to interrupt and get him talking about things I could use so it may be hard making an article out of this. Ah, it usually is with racing officials. They've very reluctant to say anything that expresses an opinion as they're afraid it could be used against them or something. Racing is government here so it's highly regulated. On top of that there's always other people sitting in on it so I get nervous and don't ask the right questions or phase out and can't remember what he was saying. It'll be so hard going through this tape and trying to figure out what to use. But, I will try hard NOT to use this to stuff my face, which I often do, sitting here eating candy and ****. . . :ink: Oh well, not eating very well today but the day isn't over yet so I will salvage it. Think though that I'll take off from the gym today. Have too much work to do.

grasshopper -- how are you feeling now? I hope you're doing better. :crossed: Wow, I guess I'm lucky. I'm never in pain, not that I can remember, nothing like what you're experiencing. Now I see why you're trying to detox and all that. If it'll help you, you must be desperate to stop this pain. :headache:

NBK -- so, what'd you have for lunch? OH, I get it. . . . :o . . .No, actually when I first read it I was wondering what you were doing eating lunch after how many weeks apart and then next time I saw the quote marks and was glad to realize you were not all that weird! :dizzy: And you shouldn't begrudge him surfing till 9. After all, this is where the bod comes from, right? :cloud9:

I went and looked up this Extreme Makeover show that everyone is talking about and found that episode about the mom and her two kids and them having their house done. Saw the before and after pictures. There is a similar show here but without the emotional impact. There is one where the people are paying everything to have the house remodeled. There is another where people get cosmetic makeovers that is more moving. I sometimes cry at that too but not too much because they try to drag it out a bit too much and you know that at every chance they can get they will break for a commercial right at an interesting point. It makes me angry and sometimes I turn it off. Anyhow, those shows are very moving. I sure would like to hear how they're doing a few months/years down the road.

stormy -- I just stepped out to go to the store and met this guy I see a lot in the neighborhood, young guy in a wheelchair. He only really has use of one arm. Was hit by a truck while he was on his motorbike when he was 18. Now he's about 30. I've been out drinking with him. Real nice guy. The other day I came out of the convenience store and he was in the street talking to himself pissed off and I asked him what was wrong. He said the driver in the car that had just passed was talking on his cell phone, which is now illegal here. He said it makes him so mad because that's how the driver hit him. I said I understood but he'd better watch it, getting mad at the cars and then not seeing the other ones coming up behind him. Here, there are no sidewalks, except on some main roads, so people are out in the streets walking or, as in his case, pushing their wheelchairs and sometimes it's very hard to see. Anyhow, he made me think of the patient of yours again. Yes, if he was giving the horses sugar then I can only hope that they would have been there for him when he died. They surely would have helped him in his last moments. As for my soulmate, stormy, I wish I shared your faith. I think I gave up on that long ago. It's hard to keep thinking what you want when you've never found it, or everyone time you think you've found it it turns out to have been a mistake. Sigh.

kji -- great save on the exercise there, I mean a save for the day and the TV time. Good for you for eating right too. I'm so glad people actually do exercise and eat right on this thread or are trying to and come here with their successes as well as their failures, but more often than not, not their failures, but just a cry for help before the failure. So often just a "come on, you can do it!" can save the day. Here, there is still that feeling of focusing on our goals. So many threads lose that and it just becomes an everything-but kind of thread. Come on, kjk, :coach: get that butt up tomorrow and walk!!

jacque -- ooo. you're having a bad day, aren't you? Well, partly bad. Four rice krispy bars? What does that add up to? Did you stop there? I hope so. But the good part, and see, YOU made that happen! is the gym. Congratulations for joining AND for working out. What kind of place is it? A chain or a private place?

Tell me what "tivo" is? Is this some recording thing? I found pictures of this ty guy to see who you were talking about. It's hard to tell from the photos alone but he has a real kind face and is probably really sweet. No wonder your husband is telling you gyms are useless. Here you are saying some guy on TV is your boyfriend. :?: :lol3: What are you going to do when you start sweating side by side with some hunk at the gym who comes over and starts correcting your form!! :rofl: Maybe your hubby knows something we don't?!!?!? . . . :lol3:

little grasshopper
01-19-2005, 09:09 AM
Good morning all. It's cold outside! Very cold. My poor car didn't wnat to go, but I'm sure it will feel better when it's warm :)

I'm feeling somewhat better today. I took something last, had crazy dreams and slept pretty well. I have to be up and moving very early everyday this week. My one day to sleep in, the office scheduled a meeting. Those crazy things never cover anything important but we have to have them I will go to the office, go back home..then 3 hours later go back for all my clients. :)

Red - Tevo (I can't give a detailed answer as I have no details :) ) is a device that lets you record tV programs. You program it to record the show, the whole series, or only new's pretty neat! I have it and love it. I never had to watch commercials anymore :)

okay, I'd better head out the door. I am planning on hitting the gym today. Eating yesterday was very good. Maybe too light but not cheating all over either. Talk to everyone soon. lg

01-19-2005, 10:13 AM
Good morning,
Well I just got through a 55 min workout, but according to the evil scale I am up two pounds. Last night we watched "The Forgotten" and I ate two cookies. These were two from the ones over the weekend. I felt guilty but I am over it now. That is exactly why I do not keep it in the house. My self-control is sometimes poor.

Red, sometimes I wish that cellphones were outlawed for drivers here. It drives me crazy! Sorry your interview did not go well. By the way, don't give up on love yet.

GH, I hope that you make it to the gym today. Try not to wear yourself out, though.

Okay, I need to go and get ready for work. I hope everyone has a great day.

Crime girl
01-19-2005, 01:26 PM
Hey everyone!
I am going to go ahead and apologize for the length of this post because I know it is going to be really long! Sorry- I think I am waiting too long and when I finally get on you guys have cranked out about a million posts. I hate to be left out so I go back and read so I can respond.

Anyway- school yesterday was horrible and I almost came home and stuffed my face because of stress. Luckily I got distracted by the thousands of things I have to do everyday and forgot to eat more than a sandwich. :lol:

stormy-how is school going for you? Didn't you say something a long time ago about a project? When do you have to travel and go to class next?
The story about your patient made me tear up and then I was fine until I got to Red's comments about the horses and that made me cry. :stress: So- I am sitting here crying at my computer when a friend drops by and I had to go to the door. Then I couldn't explain to her why I was crying because I began to hiccup and cry and then laugh at myself. Man- I am a mess. :rofl:
I feel so bad for that guy- it must have been hard to feel like he had no control. I am such a control freak that people amaze me at the ways that they adapt and move on. Anyway- thanks for sharing that- it puts my life in perspective.
I was laughing when I read about your pro and con list because I am always doing that when I have to make a tough decision. Sometimes it helps to see all the reasons for and against all written out in black and white.

Jacque- Great job on eating and getting a gym! :cp:
Just make sure you go- I pay money every month to the YMCA and never go so don't be like me!
Sorry about your mishap with the police. I hate being pulled over ( as I am sure you all do) but I always cry and get out of tickets. I know- it is a step back for women's lib but screw it! At least I don't get a huge ticket and it always works in my town. The men here are "good old boys" so they think women are weaklings and need to be protected. :lol:
You have a TIVO too?? Love my TIVO!!

red- Let me answer your question about TIVO first. TIVO is a digital recorder with a hard drive that you can program to tape shows. The cool thing about it is you can set up season passes and it tapes all the showings of that particular TV show. TIVO also allows you to pause it and fast forward through commercials. I love my TIVO. I don't watch TV during the week so I program TIVO to tape the things I just don't want to miss. Also- TIVO makes suggestions according to your tastes and periodically tapes shows on its own that it thinks you might like. :D

As for changing jobs-don't judge an office on how it looks when you come into it to interview or meet a new potential boss. Where I work now seemed stuffy and rigid when I came in and once I started working there I found out that it was opposite of that and everyone is laid back and easygoing.
I understand what you mean about less responsibility and comfort in where you work- I wouldn't want to work in a high stress job either. If that is how you think it will be you may want to keep looking. Keep in mind you spend a lot of your day working so you need somewhere you aren't going to dread going to in the morning. ;)

You are very perceptive to catch on to the fact I am not doing well with eating or exercise. Thought I would slide by! :lol: Anyway- i am horrible when I am under stress so this past week has been awful. I am going to try to get back on track!
I have a question from a past post- other people ride your horse?? Do they take her out for exercise? or are you sharing her with others? I don't understand; I can see where that would be really stressful. Don't downplay being the one with the goodies- animals know that if you care enough to give goodies that you are wonderful in their book.

NBK-Thanks for the kick in the butt! It was much needed and I promise I am going to try to get back with it!
You are without your bf a lot- I am jealous. Can I ship mine up to you after he returns from getting an attitude adjustment on food portions with red? :lol: I know it must be hard- at least you have good blocks of time with him instead of time here and there that you can't do anything major in. Have fun!
You guys are really into Extreme Makeover. I can't watch it- it makes me cry and I get all depressed. :( Ty is cute though. :D

Little Grasshopper- How are u today? I wanted to tell you about some heating pads that you can buy at the store that are just for one day. They are made for TOM (you probably already know this but..) They are called ThermaCare and you can find them where they keep Bengay and such..
they help me a lot and I have awful cramps.

kjk- I know what you mean about getting up in the morning but you are my inspiration to get up and walk so you have to keep with it. :lol:
Good job going after you got up though! You are so kicking my butt!
I didn't know you watch Law and Order SVU- love that program. I Tivoed it last night and I can't wait to watch it since it was new. Was it a good one?

Okay - I think that catches me up somewhat. I am going to try to hop on more often so I can comment in the flow of conversation.

Anyway- today I am off work and school. I have to apply for graduation and I just got back from getting a haircut so I am getting a lot done on my "to do" list.
Hope you are all having a great day! Today is "what in the heck have you been eating?" day so let us know how you are doing. Is anyone here recording what they eat every day? Do any of you keep a food and emotion diary? Just curious how you keep up with your calories or amounts.

Question of the day: This may be a cruel one but I am curious-
If you could make any one food calorie free, fat free, and instead full of vitamins and things good for your body- which food would you choose? why?

Okay I am outta here for now- back later

little grasshopper
01-19-2005, 03:52 PM
Hi guys. Man have I had an adventure. We had an unexpected snow storm today. You'd think as rarely as we get snow they'd know it was coming for days! But not this storm.....They were calling for the 40's and light's 21 and that's our high for today! I left work as it was starting and before I could get to the bridge and the damn on my lake the roads were so bad that people couldn't get up the hill (the bridge is between two hills). People were stacked on both sides and sliding all over the place. I ended up turning around and calling BF to come get me - but then I had to walk 3 miles in 19 degree cold and pouring snow to get to the furtherst place he could reach!! I didn't make it to the gym but I did get a workout. Luckily I left one of my coats at the office yesterday so I had two today..i needed both!! It's freaking COLD out there when the wind blows!!!!!

I'm feeling much better. Head is still wacky but otherwise I feel good. I was looking forward to working out today. I'll have to do some at home.

I will catch up on reading to night - see you guys soon!

01-19-2005, 04:08 PM
CG, I go back to school Thursday. I flight out (since my car is still in the shop!!!) at 7:15 PM. So I'll be MIA for a while. I was able to complete everything that I have due this weekend. Since I finished work early secondary to two cancellations I have a little me time. So I am checking my email,etc. and then I have to hit the books. You will make it this semester. You are so lucky that it is your last.

GH, enjoy your cold day off. I dread going back to school b/c of the cold. One of my friends up there called and told me that there is supposed to be a snow/ice storm this weekend, so I am not looking foward to it. I hate the cold. This morning I work up and it was sleeting and Saturday night and Sunday there is supposed to be snow so I am hoping that I will not be delayed in getting back. Well at least you got a nice walk in. By the way, you probably burnt more calories b/c of the cold!

01-19-2005, 04:32 PM
Ladies, I really want to apologise for my lack of participation lately!! I've been so crazy busy with work (it's inventory month) but after this week I should be back to normal participation :D (meaning you'll get sick of me again!) I promise!

01-19-2005, 05:22 PM
Good morning, people. This day is not getting off to a good start. I turned on the TV just in time to catch the horoscope that said my sign was the worst for today. I know it's stupid but I turned it on and there it was and it's pissing me off because I have not seen a "good" horoscope in like two weeks. Then, I decide to just hop on the scale because I figured I'd have had to have lost and it looks like it's up higher than ever. ?!?! :?: I tell you, I don't think I can take any more of this constant disappointment, constant frustration. I am so sick and tired of it. :cry: People say wait, and wait, and it will get better but it's NOT getting better. So, what to do?!?!I can't do anymore than I'm already doing. I mean, I am not near my goal weight or anything and even my goal weight would be heavy. What is wrong with my body? Why does it hold on to the fat like this? It's really unbelievable. Screw it. That's the way I feel. Maybe I should just give up, stop letting this whole weight thing make me so angry. I'm certainly not enjoying this and I really, really am trying. Maybe I do have to just keep at it. They say it's not rocket science, but it sure ain't simple arithmetic!!

01-19-2005, 05:32 PM
Red - two words. Water weight. When you start exercising after a break or change your routine or your diet you body gets scared and starts hoarding water.

Will catch up later ladies.. work is mad today!

01-19-2005, 05:40 PM
Yeah, NBK, you may be right. But I was running to the bathroom for two days straight, that's why I thought I was sure to see a drop. I mean, that, and all the other things I've been doing right. However, I did drink a lot of mugi cha (barley tea, no caffeine, not a diuretic) last night and some Italian sparkling water all before going to bed and I didn't get up all night. I did work my legs the day before last and though they're not hurting (which is odd because I thought I went heavier than usual) maybe that has something to do with it. It's just I am so stuck. My weight just does not fluctuate, downward that is, it's always stuck. I mean, I am still much higher than when I started this year off. Oh well, I'm working all the time but it's not physical work. As far as my body is concerned I've done nothing. But, I hear everyone else losing and I can't understand how it can be so hard for me. I mean, if this doesn't do it, how can I ever be thin and work and do everything else I need to do just to pay the bills? It's like I'm condemned to this position in life.

01-19-2005, 06:07 PM
OK, well, I'm going to just move on. I am still so utterly pissed off. I shouldn't get on the scale at all probably. But, I need some reward. The weight loss, if there is any, is too small to register with clothes. Maybe I have to literally knock myself out with exercise in order to lose. I mean, really, I walk so much in a day just going to work and things. I probably only need about 1,000 calories a day to exist. That's the problem I guess. I'm short and have this screwed up body so I can't eat at all probably. Anyhow, I'm healthy and I am very strong so I guess I should learn to accept it. The problem is, no one accepts it. Everyone around me, except the bodybuilders, act like for a woman to be strong is a bad thing, a freakish thing. I think the fact that these guys are so weak is a freakish thing and the fact that they think women are is freakish. Then again, I'm up against Asian women, who are built like sparrows. It's like a French bull looking at a Mexican hairless and feeling like a freak.

01-19-2005, 06:24 PM
Red, i haven't moved down all year.. i've been stuck in my 73.9-75.8 kg rut too! don't sweat it! just relax.. i find as soon as i stop stressing about my weight things actually start to happen.. now if only i could do that right now.

As for living in asia.. man that would screw with my head! i have enough problems feeling like a giant sometimes here.. last night there was a women who would be a us size 0 or less in the hips infront of me in pump class. i swear her waist is the same as my thighs if not smaller! ugh.. but yuo know what, she doesn't really look like a woman. she had tiny hips and broad shoulders.. and she was shorter than don't stress. I think being strong rocks! just think of all those pathetic weedy men you can snap in two with your bare hands! he he...

01-19-2005, 06:37 PM
NBK, really? you haven't lost either this year. Ok, that makes me feel better. And thanks for understanding what I go through here in the land of the reeds and sparrows. Yes, to me these women don't look like women. They look like children, worse, because they're not cute like children. I don't see what the foreign guys see in them but they love them, at least the ones who stay here. And yet these guys are out picking up girls all the time, so it's probably something else they're looking for, in other words, a certain ease . . .

You know, actually I love strong. I think it's cool. It's just that I would like to be in an environment where it's not so odd. Then again, what the heck, I probably will never be that. When i'm in the States, people say I'm so short and small and I sure don't feel small, though I do feel short. I guess you just have to know what you are and accept it and be happy with it. And you're right about the pathetic weedy men. I am sick of them. I am not attracted to them in the least, in fact they make me ill to look at their pathetic scrawny, soft bodies. The only guys I like are the builders in the gym. It's just, I'm not so rude as to say it to them, like the guys do about the women. Oh bother!

01-19-2005, 06:38 PM
Ok, really got to move on this time. I started that last post out determined to get off the pity express and look at your posts and then I didn't. !!

grasshopper -- I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. That's really not fair that you have to attend a meeting on your sleep-in day. Do you get paid to go in? Can't you get out of it, say you're feeling ill but are going to try to make it in later? I would.

Thanks for the Tivo explanation, you and some others. I looked it up on the Net, see it's something that started up 5 years ago. So, you mean you don't need videotapes? How cool! I need something like that. The tapes are a pain. I go to bed so early so all the interesting (well, that is a relative word!) are on later, or I'm thinking maaaaaybe they're on later because there sure is nothing interesting on before 9 p.m.! Japanese TV sucks. Late at night you tend to just get some sort of sick semi-porn all putting down women. Have a good workout today, grass, if you get there. Congrats for getting through yesterday with just light eating!

stormy -- sounds like you and I are kind of going through the same thing. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that the scale starts dropping. I was thinking about that interview yesterday. The reason it didn't go well is because this one guy writes up questions he wants me to ask and they're crap questions and I feel I have to ask them and then the interview gets out of hand. Oh well, I'll salvage something out of it and next time this other guy insists on sitting in on it I'll just ignore him and his stupid questions. Those cookies you ate, are they giant or something. I mean, don't sweat a couple cookies. :bravo: on the workout!

Crime girl -- Please stop apologizing for long posts. I for one love long posts. You shouldn't apologize. And please keep writing really long ones. I love it! If someone doesn't want to read it she can just glance through it anyhow. You did great not stuffing your face after a stressful day! Kudos to you! :strong:

Sorry my comment got your crying. I even looked back to see what it possibly could have been and couldn't figure it. I don't know. People often say my writing makes them cry. I'm starting to think it must be really bad! ;)

Thanks too for the Tivo explanation. Don't know if I'd like it making suggestions for me. But, I guess, if you can erase it quickly or it doesn't mess up another recording it could be great. I still don't understand just where it is doing the recording. Is it a tape or totally digital, like limitless? I see they're very expensive too!

The work situation is driving me nuts. I dream about it. I'm all confused as to what to do. I don't have a good feeling about the new place but don't know how I can find out more without working there. I may do just that, go in for once a week at first while saying I can't quit the other yet. They said I could. Then maybe I can get a better reading on it. Japanese companies are usually no fun at all. The paper is Japanese too but the crowd I work with are mostly foreigners. I don't think I'm going to find anything better than this though, not with the hours I want and so, so maybe I should just buckle down and do it, in and out and screw feeling happy or good about it. Just do it. Try to work toward something bigger. If I write a couple of books and start getting royalties it sure would help me break away from this hourly wage **** that is so limited. At one point I worked with a jockey over here and my pay was a percentage of his earnings. So, if he won a race my pay would leap. There was always the possibility of hitting paydirt and that was fun. Of course, it turned out in the end to just get me by okay but it was fun, addictive anyhow, very rollercoaster-like, just like any gambling I guess.

I can certainly understand you slacking on the weight loss efforts. You can't do everything. As long as you didn't pig out too much and didn't gain. Maintain when the pressure's on. That should be our motto.

Thanks for saying I'm more to my horse than a carrot. I would like to think so but . . . what they heck, she could say the same about me. As for the situation at the riding club, it sucks there too. So much in my life, in fact, most of it, is very far from what I want. But, I see it as making the best of the situation, a tradeoff, a compromise. Yes, other people get to ride my horse even though I'm paying for everything. These are the workers at the stable and the owner puts them on. I don't like it because I don't agree with the way he handles my horses but it is his place and if I don't like it I have no say whatsoever. The only say I have is to leave and I don't know a better place for now. when I do I will go. Also, my teacher (his wife) seems better. I like the way she rides and I am trying to learn from her, which means I will become like her and THEN I can go off on my own with my horse. I cannot handle my horse on my own now because my skills are not good enough. So much compromise here. In any case, the care I think is good and the girls riding my horse are not really bad riders. They just are slaves to the owner and do everything he tells them to, which the horse rebels at because there is no affection in it. I think maybe she does like me. I hope I am enough for her to get through the other days without going anymore sour than she already is.

As for your question, maybe I would say ice cream or nuts, particularly cashews and peanuts, my favorites.

Ok, I've got to run. Anyone I missed, I'll catch up later. Ciao for now!

01-19-2005, 06:49 PM
hmm for me it would be cheese.. lovely lovely cheese..

FYI- calcium can assist weight loss! Apparently in the interests of your bones, if you aren't getting enough calcium in your diet, your body will start storing fat.. therefore that slice of cheese or glass of milk isn't really all that bad for you. In fact they did a study where people were on a restricted calcium diet and also an increased calcium diet along with a placebo diet.. all the same except for that mineral and the increased calcium people lost like 15-35% more weight than any of the others. People in the restricted group actually gained as a whole. Something to think about anyway...

little grasshopper
01-19-2005, 06:51 PM
Red - I have not really lost since the new year either. Not based on the scales. I've been bouncing in the same 5 pounds up and down for a month. It drives me crazy but what can I do?? True my jeans do fit but not the way I want them too and I'd have thought by now they would, but they don't. I can't think too much about it or I'll make my health goal a weight loss goal and I'll just give up. I just wanted you to know that several of us are bouncing around with the same freaking weight!! I get up and hope to see a loss and the same damn numbers show up - one day 2 up the next 2 down, the very next day I'm right back up again. I'm blaming it on the silliest things...that 1 rice cookie I had...the bite of steak I had with the seasoning salt I'm allergice too....the extra rice milk in my detox shake....I can't even blame something yummy on it, and yet I'm not giving up the rice cookies or extra milk either.

Change your focus. Make it to be as healthy as you can be. To eat only foods that will make you strong and healthy - and yes, strong is SEXY! Exercise in ways that make you age beautifully!!! Ride your horse, build strong core strength and enjoy the fact that you're eating healthier than you ever have in your life and the rest will start ot fall into place!! Take care of YOU - not just the number on that damn scale.

I'm so sorry life is frustrating! I can understand it completely!!! Having a job you hate and not having a clear path to leave it can take the shear life out of you...I'm proud of you for not looking to food as the reward. It's my number 1 reward...and when I skip the reward I EXPECT that a lower number on the scale will be my gift for skipping my reward. But NOPE....none for me. I'm stuck.

I'll be thinking about you and hoping you're finding some peace very soon!! You deserve it girl!!

little grasshopper
01-19-2005, 06:55 PM
My food would be brownies...They are the perfect, yummy dessert to me. I love them straight from the oven and I love them cold!! I could eat a whole batch right now!!!! Thanks a lot CG!! :)

I am eating prunes again. My new candy. What a sorry excuse for a candy substitute. At least they don't stay around long :) :)

I'm trying to cut back on my dinners. I tend to eat the most food in my day from 5:00 pm through to bedtime. I'm trying to change that! We'll see.

okay guys - snow has stopped falling. I have to go get my car tomorrow. I left it at an outdoor adventure place, of all things. BF's work van is not wanting to run either....we may be sharing a car tomorrow too. I have the most clients in one day tomorrow and I'm betting they all cancel. We just aren't prepared for snow at all here. That's a lot of money out the window. I hope they don't cancel!!

01-19-2005, 07:03 PM
I'm late out the door, now that they posts are pouring in! NBK, grasshopper, I glanced through your posts. Thank you so much!! You've given me just what I needed, knowing I'm not in this alone. I didn't realize you guys were going through the same thing. And grass, thanks for your kind and inspirational words. If you can stick this out, with all your pain issues, then I will give it my best too! Hope your day is a good one too! Talk to you later!!

01-19-2005, 08:39 PM
Ha ha prunes! I love them.. I was in a rush this morning so had 1/2 a bag for breakfast. You're right tho LGH, they really don't last long.. now hopefully the weird feeling in my stomach is due to the chicken nuggets and cheeseburger I had last night (bad tiff I know but.. eh.. I have no willpower least no coke or fries.).

little grasshopper
01-20-2005, 12:16 AM
Hi guys - it looks like my 2 1/2 hour journey home today is small stuff compared to what's happening now in NC. Students are STILL stranded at schools..busses are at hospitals for the night after being stranded on instates for 5 1/2 hours..they just took the kids to hospitals so they could have bathrooms, food and blankets for the night. One highway is grid locked for 20 of the main hwys in the city. The road that I got stranded on was closed shortly after I started walking...a ton of other roads have been closed wasn't this bad when we got 2 FEET of snow...and this was only 1 inch. It was the strangest snow storm I've ever seen though!! In 20 minutes the roads went from completely fine to a solid sheet of ice..and the salt trucks got stuff in the grid locks with everyone else. It's really horrible out took my coworkers 6 hours to get home...and most of their spouses are stuck at work tonight. Very very strange storm!

when we say we can't handle snow - this isn't at all what we usually mean :)

I ate okay - not great. I have been snacking on BF's food. Nothing too bad but I'm not suppose to do it at all. If I want those scales to move I am going to have to make a commentment to myself. Stop the bites here and there and stop the rice cookies...make that stand.

I hope you're all warm and cozy tonight! I will probably not be at work tomorrrow as I can't get out of my neighborhood...we'll see. More snow tomorrow night and this weekend also. We'll end up with 3 inches and hte whole state will shut down :)

Crime girl
01-20-2005, 01:31 AM
Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been on as much- school as usual is keeping me busy and I HAD to watch Law and Order SVU from last night!
I got my exercise game for my Xbox today and I love it! I am looking forward to it and it even has built in incentives- giving you new enviroments to work in! I am so excited! I also got a book I ordered called "Passing for Thin" which is one woman's journey with weight loss and it looks really good.
Another good part for today is I got a really good haircut! I had to pay an arm and leg but it was worth it. It makes me feel like a brand new me.
Anyway- enough about me!

little grasshopper- I am so sorry you had to trudge through the snow to get home. I am glad you left for home when you did or you might have been one of those people still stuck! Is your area of NC like South Carolina (where I grew up) in the sense that everything closes down when it snows and the entire state has like ONE snowplow so it takes forever to clear the roads? It would snow an inch in Spartanburg and the whole town would close. Sounds like a wicked storm though- stay safe! I have to admit though- I am still jealous! It is 52 degrees here and all my neighbors have their fireplaces going at the same time that I have a couple windows open! :lol:

NBK- I think that ultra skinny girl in your class should be force fed and made to drink tons of weight gain shakes. :lol: Really- I can say I am not jealous of those girls- I love my curves even if they have skidded too far. :lol3:
Thanks for the cool facts about calcium- do you think I could talk my body into just letting me have Ben and Jerry's? If only- sigh!

stormy- Wow- another flight for you. What in the heck is wrong with your car? Well- at least you won't have to drive if the weather gets bad and hopefully you will beat any storms that might come. Great job getting all your school work done- I am already behind! :( Oh well- last semester. I actually went and filed for graduation today and I have to say that felt really great! Hang in there in your program- you sound like you are doing great!!

Red Balloon- Thanks for allowing my diarrhea of the mouth. I get started and just can't stop! :lol:
I wish I could tell you what to do about the job. I do think that you need to try to not stress and let what happens to happen. Sometimes things have a way of working themselves out. Go with what you feel is right- don't second guess yourself and try to pick the path that has the most happiness. You will be OK. Keep in mind that your decisions are not permanent and you will not be forced to stay in a job you hate- you can always leave whether it is the paper or this new job- and stop listening to those horoscopes because they are wrong.
As for feeling like a strange person in a tiny Asian world- you should be celebrating your difference. I bet those people looking at you on the subways etc. are looking with envy. I think it is more the case of the purebred prize winning pooch living in the dog pound full of mutts. You are the exotic one and that is a great thing.
The post that you wrote that made me cry was talking about stormy's patient at least having the horses there for him. Okay that is all I am going to say because I don't want to start up again. It was just a touching thought that at least he was not alone.
Your horse situation sounds complicated but I guess the bottom line is at least you have her. I am a strong believer that animals know and sense those who care and those that don't. I know my dog shows me a lot more affection that anyone else because I make time for him and realize he needs love and attention too. I am thinking your horse feels this too.

Okay- hope I responded to everyone. I need to go to bed because I get up at 5 am tomorrow and I am not getting enough sleep at night.
To answer my own question of the day I would pick fudge. I love it!

Tomorrow is "What have I been doing to move my body?" day. Chime in and let us know your progress.

I will post the question for tomorrow - well...tomorrow.
Have a great night everyone!!! :D :D :D :D

01-20-2005, 03:19 AM
Hi people. I'm back home and before I settle down to work I want to get caught up here. I got to ride and it was a pretty day. I'm feeling sooo much better than I was this morning, and again, so much of that is thanks to you all. So :thanks: I don't know what comes over me, bad dreams, good dreams, horoscopes, hormones, food allergies, work, lack of exercise, scale readings, who knows, but come over me it does and I just get so in a black cloud, not a gloomy black cloud, but one with lightning bolts an claps of thunder and everyone who knows me runs for cover until suddenly the sun shines out from behind that cloud and voila! smiles again. Sigh. . .

grasshopper -- what's this with all the snow? Hope things get back to normal or at least that nothing bad happens with this sudden storm. I agree with stormy, you probably burned a ton more calories walking in that snow.

You're so right about needing to focus more on health. I had been doing that and just got tired of it. But, knock on wood, I have not had a cold in months, maybe years and everyone around me is sick all the time it seems. I guess I shouldn't ever forget that health really is everything.

Thanks for your kind words about my work too. Sometimes everything just feels so stuck, not just my weight, but everything. I always want to get better and better, don't mind that the progress is slow, but sometimes, when I can't see any at all, or things look to be worse I just want to cry. I guess I should try to apply everything I do with riding to life. In riding, I know that if I just stick it out, just keep trying I will progress. But for some reason, I don't have that kind of faith in any other area of my life, not really. I guess it's why I get scared that I'm never going to be able to do it and then I get upset.

Well, I hope your clients don't all cancel. Do the plows go around. Do they have them or only salt trucks? If they get the roads clear I think people will come out. I hope you can get out yourself.

Jacque -- I hope you're not goofing off with your eating and exercise!! :nono: No excuses things just being crazy at work. For some of us that's the normal state of things! :lol: And no one is going to get sick of you, so stop saying those silly things. You're as bad as Crime girl apologizing for her long posts, long? what's long? If I started apologizing or saying things like "you must be sick of me" I just start seeing all these heads start nodding, so I never ask! and so they don't nod and I feel OK! :)

NBK -- Living in Asia does screw with my head. Can't you tell?

And, NBK, I agree with Crime girl, that woman in your pump class should be force fed. Get some meat on her! Waist smaller than your thighs. "doesn't look like a woman" you crack me up, NBK!! :rofl: I wish I had you here with me. Oh, yes, those types, that's my riding teacher. Oh no, I think it's her thigh that's smaller than my biceps.

Oh, and by the way, if there are any tiny Asian women out there reading this (why would they be reading this stuff?!!?) don't take offense or anything. We're just trying to make ourselves feel better at others expense!? For me, it's all I have! :lol:

Crime girl -- hi there! Good to hear from you. "Passing for Thin." Sounds like an intriguing title. Is it her saying she only looks thin but doesn't feel thin?

Great with the haircut. Glad you got one you like so much. Doesn't it just make you feel great. Good cuts usually do cost a lot though bad ones can cost a lot too. I need one as well.

So, when is your boyfriend coming over here? And don't let him think that the tiny portions here mean tiny prices. The cultural shock equation for Tokyo is like this. First you divide up a normal American-size portion into 4 and throw away 3/4s of it, then you double or triple the price of whatever you're used to paying for the whole thing. That'll give you a rough idea of what to expect.

Oh, and Crime girl, really stop with the "diarrhea of the mouth" kind of talk. I LIKE what you say. Lots of good stuff comes out of your mouth . . .and I don't have any icky fetishes either.

Thanks for your faith in me. It's nice to hear you say I will be OK. This is probably my biggest problem, anxiety, not stress so much. I can take a lot of stress. It's anxiety that gets me. And yes, those friggin' horoscopes are pathetic. So far today, it's been great. I think my horse is actually showing more affection and she has been a cold one, turned off I think because no one was really ever thinking nice things of her. I think you're right that she must sense I care for her. Animals are saying things all the time and most of the time no one hears them. Here though I've never come across so many animals who are NOT saying anything because either they gave up or they never learned that they could talk with people. I see the horses come in from Europe and they're looking to communicate and no one talks to them. It ry and they learn who I am so quickly. It's like, yes, here's someone who'll talk! My horse, having grown up in Japan, is perhaps only now coming to want to reach out more. Her eyes have totally changed since I first met her. Before they looked rather lifeless or angry, irritated. Now, they are often very gentle. Before, she didn't want me to touch her face, now she will nuzzle up against my chest and nudge me playfully from behind when I'm bending over doing her hooves.

CG, though I don't want you to cry again, I didn't say it before but I am a very strong believer in animals' ability to help people and other animals in need. And they know about death and I think they know how to help someone over to, let us say, the other side. They say there comes a moment, no matter how horrible the manner of death is, that there is no pain, no fear. Animals know to accept death and horses are spiritually uncanny. They are very highly developed spiritually. I don't think it's too strange to think, especially for people who know horses, that this man's time to go had come and the horses were meant to see him on. And that's maybe why he died the way he did. Like it was meant to be that way and maybe wasn't as horrible as it seems, as tragic as it seems. We all have to die sometime and I can't think of a better way to go than surrounded by the things you love. So, sorry if I made you cry. I hope I didn't again.


kjk, michi, where are you? Hope you're OK. Stop in and chat if you can!! :wave:

01-20-2005, 07:11 AM
Well, no posts yet. I'm calling this a night very soon. May stay up and read a bit. Didn't get much exercise in today other than the 45 min. ride and maybe about 50 mins walking. Had to work at home, just sitting in front of a manuscript proofing. BUT, afterward I went to the convenience store and bought nothing but barley tea (with no calories)!! So that is a major save. I didn't do so well during the day but I did write it all down. I had been incorporating more walking into my days this week by getting on and off the train later and earlier. That I think is really going to help. I don't like to keep trying to tack exercise on here and there. I need the gym to really say, OK, this is just for exercise. I much prefer to be exercising as part of some other work, so the walking further to get somewhere doesn't feel like exercise. It just feels like getting somewhere but it's taking a little longer than usual. I know this is hard to do if you're always driving. There are few real walking cities in the States, aren't there? Here, it's very easy if I just give myself a bit more time. In fact, I have always loved to walk and used to do so much more. Think I'm going to try to work it back into my life. Ok, hope to see lots of posts from you all tomorrow morning. I am going to try to get to the gym in the morning before work at the paper. Wish me luck!

little grasshopper
01-20-2005, 08:28 AM
Good morning all. Looks like we're not going anywhere for a while.

Red - we do have plows but only a few. Even as snow was falling they didn't realize this thing was going to happen. 3,000 kids got stuck at schools last night and Burger Kings stayed open all night to feed stranded drivers stuck in the grid lock. The problem now is that a lot of our roads are clogged with people who ran out of gas....It's NOT normally this bad. We handle snow fairly well here...but that's the problem - when it started no one went home, we went to lunch. They didn't close the schools, didn't treat the roads, and no one here has special tires or chains - it just doesn't make economic sense to have all that equipment with as little as we get. They are saying we'll get more tonight - 1-2 inches more. Driving would be fine if there weren't so many people and if people would just stay in the lanes and drive a safe speed - but I guess that's true anywhere.

People were laughing at me yesterday when I called back to the office and told them how bad it was. I had to remind them that while I WAS southern girl - every license plate around me was northern - and they were just as stuck as I was :) :)

They are not opening the road where my car is stranded today so it may be next week before it get it - YET ANOTHER storm is coming our way over the weekend...we're on some sort of snow conveyer belt now :) Dogs love it though.

little grasshopper
01-20-2005, 08:31 AM
Red - I feel you pain girl. I'm so mad today. I am at what should be the lowest weight of the month for me and yet I'm still 140. I will go down to 136 and then right back up to 140. Granted I haven't been able to exercise this week - but should that REALLY make me GAIN? I know, water weight....I'm with you though - I'd still like to see the damn thing move :) Time to pack it away again!

Oh - my headache was mosty gone but I guess running up hill in snow isn't good for's back, on the other side now. Not NEARLY as bad though. If I can get to work I'm going to have the doc adjust me. I've been avoiding it because of the candy bar slip up - he'll know. Time to get it dealt with though - this will be a week of a headache and that's just too much!

01-20-2005, 09:43 AM
Good morning!

I tried to get on and post last night when I got home from volleyball, but for some reason our damn internet wasn't working correctly. Every site I tried to go to took like 5 minutes to load, so I just gave up and went to bed!

Well, like I said, I had a volleyball game last night, which was fun. Our team has decided that, instead of being competitive and getting pissed when we lose (when it's supposed to be for fun), that we are going to be the league's "fun" team and just laugh everything off. I tell you, it made the night a whole lot more fun, but losing still stinks!

And to top it off....I hurt my knee. I don't think it's too bad, just feeling really weak and a little sore this morning. So I'll see how it does today, and hopefully everything is fine. Keep your fingers crossed.

To answer CG's question: ice cream, definitely ice cream. I could eat that stuff non-stop, which is probably I'm where I'm at now! But I would love it!!!!!

As for my eating, I've been right on plan this week. Even had Wendy's for lunch yesterday, but I got a grilled chicken sandwich and a small chili.....only 13 points! I do keep track of everything I eat, by subscribing to Weight Watchers online. It's a small fee per month, but I don't mind because it holds me accountable....I don't have the money to "waste."

Ok, gotta get to work now. Hope you are all well, I'll try to catch up more later!

Kelly :D

01-20-2005, 04:59 PM
Sounds like everyone is doing okay. I need to go pack, do some reading and head to the airport. I hope everyone has a great weekend, stays warm and does well with their lifestyle change. I'll try to check in from school.

01-20-2005, 05:01 PM
Stormy, just saw your message. Have a safe flight and a good trip. Hope you can check in and talk with us sometimes. :wave:

01-20-2005, 05:29 PM
Good morning, people. 6 a.m. here. Gotta hurry if I want to get to the gym this morning before work. Slept in too much. Really don't want to get up at 4:30 like I do when I'm riding, not for the gym, horses, yes, gym, work, no way!

grasshopper -- Wow, things certainly snowballed with you! :lol: All those people stuck at school and work. I can't understand it. You say there was only something like 3 inches though, right? Can't see I was cheered to think of Burger King staying up to feed everyone. Kind of a double-edged sword there. I wish all the fast-food joints would just vanish from the face of the Earth. Sure, you can buy some decent things there now, but they're built on garbage. Still, in an emergency I guess you'll take anything to keep warm. Stranded drivers, that's bad and especially if people keep their engines on and windows up. Gas fumes can be deadly. Too bad about your car. That really sucks. I love that you ended on a positive note about doggies loving the snow. Snow can be so much fun. I hate it here in Tokyo because Tokyo doesn't know how to deal with it either. People don't know how to walk and everything is just a total mess but I used to love playing in the stuff. Pittsburgh back when I was a kid still got a lot of snow and we'd go toboganning and sledding and build igloos in the back yard, snowball fights, great fun. I love the sounds of winter, the silence, the way wound carries when you go outside and there's just this massive white, the sound of snow falling from tree limbs. . ok, taking a trip down nostalgia road here. Again, blame it on the caffeine. :) Well, hope you can have some fun with this. And darn, what are those headaches doing back again! :?: Ah, and the weight! Isn't it a bummer. Just piss you off so bad? Like, what the heck!? Oh well, keep plugging away. :sunny:

kjk -- Ouch! I hope your knee feels better soon. The "fun" team sounds . . .well. . .fun! But sure, you can take it too fun. I mean it is about winning too. I think though that you can be competitive and still have fun, right? You know, I'm amazed that everyone seems to know about WW points, even when you're going out to eat. That is something that WW seems to have gotten its hand into everything. God, they must be doing some business. I mean, it sounds like they have restaurants offering WW menus, right? They're sure to be getting some kind of royalties for use of the name. Wow, I can remember WW back in the early 70s. It must be huge now. I like the idea and think that for me now, counting calories is probably the best way. I will overeat and overeat if I try to stay totally away from something. And I am committed to eating healthy now so I will really weigh putting junk into my system before I do it and I do do it. To say, you've got 1,500 calories to play with, or 2,000 if you exercise, do with it as you want just makes me feel so much better, not so deprived. I need this feeling of choice and freedom in everything I do. WW seems to allow that and it would probably be my choice of a program if I were in the States. Most of it, however, is lost on me here because the products aren't available.

All right, I am really going to try to get to the gym. What a chore with all my stuff in a backpack when I have to bring a change of clothes and shower there because I'll be going in to the office afterward. At least I don't have to get dressed up for work. We could go in our workout sweats if we wanted.

Oh, and my horoscope was a good one this morning! ;) I'm thinking I will make my own horoscope. Write things, all good, all happy, on pieces of paper and or something and draw one out in the morning. Kind of like, my word for the day. That way I'll have something positive to ponder all day long but will avoid thinking of doom and gloom in my path like if I hear it's going to be a "bad" day. Horoscopes are such a waste. Why do they play on my mind like they do?

01-20-2005, 06:01 PM
Good morning ladies - well I am having a shocker with the food this week. I'm not eating the huge amounts of last week, but this week it seems to be the crap that is finding it's way into my diet! arghh.. too many chocolate biscuits and other indulgences (like the mcd's blow out on wednesday) the worst part is that I am feeling constantly bloated and I know this is becuase my body hates crap food! it's gotten used to having better fuel over the last year and now it is seriously "pinking" on me..

argh on top of that I forgot to tell my bf he looked good at lunch wearing what he had on.. so in the evening when I suggested that his t-shirt and shorts weren't such a good match we had a bit of a "i think i'll flag the walk and go home to wash my car" episode. i felt so stink.. cos I also noticed a couple of other things on his body that I thought he should get checked out (ok I am not a nit picker just really observant and would want to be told about these things myself). This meant that instead of still going for a walk I went for a drive to a lookout over our port and read a bit of my book, wrote and apology letter and basically felt really **** about myself.. then I came home and this is where I got into trouble.. I knew I would binge if I went near the kitchen so I went straight to my room.. but I have this really bad habit of pulling body hairs out when I am nervous.. and that sometimes leads to ingrowns.. so I did a bit of surgery.. and I know it is really bad and linked in with my poor eating habits but the pain made me feel better. I am so aware of the problems teens have with cutting etc and I know I am not doing anything as harmful or dangerous as that.. but I do worry that sometimes I will go further than tweezers and a needle. Sorry if this is a bit heavy for you guys, I just needed to tell someone. He did come back over and we made up - we went to the supermarket as I had to bake something for a tsunami relief fundraising bake sale so I made a chocolate log.. he he and BF was so kind as to test all the lollies at the pick and mix so I would only buy the good ones.. but of course that leads to buying lollies for us too! arggh.. still I made it without eating any icing, cream or jam or sponge.. and also the fact that I had to whip the cream with a whisk I am sure added exercise to my day - it took a good 15 mins! my arms were so sore...

I hope everyone else is great - LGH your body is treating you better, Stormy - hope you have a safe flight and settle into school ok CG- enjoy your x-box game you lucky girl you!! Red - keep on keepin on and you are right incidental exercise is some of the best exercise you can get! Jacque - how is the gym going? I hope you are loving it and your hubby is being more helpful KJK-Well done on staying OP I hope your knee sorts itself out - go to a physio if it doesn't get better with some rest in a couple of days!
Back to work for now.

01-20-2005, 06:19 PM
Out the door here but just saw your post NBK. Sounds like you're having a bit of a rough spot with your boyfriend. That'll happen when you apart for a while and then together and yet probably thinking of being apart again. I know I've ruined things many a time because I wasn't just enjoying the present. I'd lay off on the nitpicking though. Boyfriends should never be an extension of yourself as many, many people think of them. So what if his clothes don't match. And what is this about you pulling out hairs? I hope you just mean you're plucking your eyebrows or something or is it worse. Or is this like a soft version of self-mutilation? What are you feeling when you're doing this? Well, heavy or not, let's hear it. I for one am not the fair-weather friend type. You can PM me if you want.

Here's a thought I just read somewhere about regretting the past, always looking forward to the future, it was something like.. . if you've got one foot in the past and one foot in the future it means you're pissing on the present. Enjoy the times you guys have together NOW, don't blow them with apologies and/or thinking of what this all could develop into. Remember, tomorrow is not guaranteed us, as you may well be aware of when you're having your tsunami relief drive.

OK, really gotta run. I'll be checking in at work maybe but probably won't have time to respond till tonight. Ciao till later!

little grasshopper
01-20-2005, 08:40 PM
Hi guys. I just got home. Much more calm today than yesterday! I was sure glad too get home and read some posts...brought normalcy back to life. I had a rough day and Bf asked me what i wanted as a reward for getting through it - I decided to not get the box of brownies I was craving and instead got a spegetti squash and a butternut squash..i've never had either but I'm going to bake the butter nut squash with chopped pears, cashews, butter and rice syrup (very sweet) and have dessert :)

Red - thanks for the encouragement. You won't believe it but it was only 1 inch of snow. NO, we're not normally THAT bad....this was a freaky less than 1 inch the roads were slippery as heck - and they didn't let the schools out when they should have - that's how the roads got grid locked...everyone was rushing home at the same time....and schools were letting out then too. Today EVERYONE had a story. Most people ended up walking miles and miles to get home. There were abandoned cars EVERYWHERE. We're to get more tonight but it's not as cold now so I am sure it won't be the same kind of problem. This was just a freaky, weird snow storm!

NBK - I'm with Red on this, come here and talk to us. Don't beat yourself up so much about the comments to BF. You're not perfect and neither is he. You'll both make mistakes and you'll both hurt each other, whether you mean to or not. It's a fact of's how you rebound and deal with things that will matter most. We'll listen, I promise. what is a lollie??

okay, I have to get - stormy - i hope you have a safe trip!!

Crime girl
01-20-2005, 08:48 PM
Hi all!
I am finally home from work and even though I blew it again with eating I did get up this morning and exercise to my Xbox. Talk about pitiful! I am a weakling but I am going to get better! It kicked my butt! :lol:

Red- Passing for Thin is a book about a lady who lost half of her weight and how she did it- what she thought and how she feels now. I just started it and so far it is inspiring. She started out in a similar situation as me so I can relate with her.
I think I am going to send bf your way really quick if he doesn't stop messing up my meal plan- eating junk in front of me and offering to pick junk up! He just stopped smoking so I feel for him but geez! leave me out of it. :D
What you were saying about animals I totally relate with and that is why it was so sad to me. Poetic yet sad- and it touched me that you were right- he didn't go totally alone. Anyway- I think animals relate with us too and a lot of people don't look for it. My dog can tell me how he feels, what his mood is, and show so much love and obviously he can't talk to me. ( If he could- man- I would get to retire and go on the talk show circuit! :lol: ) Anyway- I am with you about horses too. I use to go to a camp that centered around horses as a kid and later as a camp counselor so I got a rapport with some of the horses. They are so smart and so strong! I don't think people realize how intuitive they are. I really enjoyed those summers with them.
Great job staying on course! Incorporating walking into your day is a great way to get some extra exercise. You should wear a pedometer and see how many steps you get a day. I bet it will surprise you!
As for your comment on fast food- I would gladly help you burn every one of them down if you wanted. They are a boil on the butt of existence. No real merit or worth and I can't seem to keep my fat bottom out of them. We need to ship all the fast food restaraunts to countries we don't like and let them eat themselves to death. :lol3:
I have a suggestion for you for your horoscope- I will give you your horoscope everyday if you want. If not- your suggestion is better than relying on the hacks who write the ones you have been reading.

Little grasshopper- The snow situation is the same in SC. Any amount of snow causes chaos and people refuse to listen when the weathermen are indicating its approach. People use to laugh when my parents came by and picked me up at school when it started to snow. Lord knows- if I had to rely on the school to let us out on time- I would have been stranded like all those people in NC. I am glad you are safe and sound at home even though you have no car. ;)
Sorry your head is giving you such problems. I hope it gets better soon!
Enjoy the snow though- glad your doggies are digging it!

kjk- Volleyball sounds like fun! It is fun when everyone is playing for laughs. During the Olympics I was wishing I had those volleyball girls' bodies. Man- they are ripped!
Sorry you hurt your knee though- get better soon and try to take it easy!
WW sounds like a good deal- I might check it out on line too. :D

stormy- Have a great weekend and have fun at school! Don't get too stressed!

NBK- I am sorry you are fighting with your bf. You concern me with the comments about cutting. You can PM or email me ANYTIME if you need to talk. I know dealing with stress is hard sometimes and if you ever need a friend - I am here. It is never too deep for me.
I am glad you made up with the bf because you guys only have a limited amount of time. Have fun with him while he is here- try to stay on plan and if you stray just get back on that horse! You can do it- a slip now and then is no big deal!

Okay- well need to go eat- it is getting late and I have miles to go before I sleep-
I will be on later!

01-20-2005, 09:14 PM
Hey CG and Red. Thanks for your comments. sorry for the panic merchant thread. I have to go for the weekend now, but will try to check in.
I'm ok so don't stress

have a great weekend all

little grasshopper
01-21-2005, 07:28 AM
Good morning guys. Well the big snow fall last night didn't really happen so I'm off to work. I only worked 4 hours yesterday but it was **** - I was realy hoping to have today off. :( Oh well, have to find strength and energy from somewhere. Cause the day is going to it or not......I even have a massage client today (on friday's I work the office...all day long!!!!!).

Eating was great yesterday and scales were a LITTLE more kind today because of it. I am not showing a loss but I'm also not at the 140 mark today. I have not been able to really work out all week. I think I needed a break though - I guess I did. With the week I've had I don't know if I'd have felt better or worse....I'm ready to get back in there though :)

CG - you need a horse :) I love them. They look so wise and all knowing. My dogs stare and empty places in the room and just look like they see dead people...not so much wise though....:)

Red - I can't read my horiscope either...power of suggestion is too strong. It will set my whole mood for the day. I don't even do it. I usually read it after the day or month is over and look for patterns. :)

NBK - No panic here...just lending an ear. I hope you have a great weekend!

okay guys - I guess I'd better get lunch and breakfast ready. I made a cool dish that is diet friendly.....hamburger meat (sorry, red - it's not red friendly) chopped squash, zuccini, cellery, rosemary and parsley (you could add onions and it would be wonderful too!!) anyway I cooked the veggies to my level of done"ness" and then added the cooked hamburger meat and then added a little sour cream (I use the rice kind)....then last night when I heated it I sprinkled cheese on it. It was very yummy! Almost a comfort food.

tonight I try my spaghetti squash. I hope it's yummy!

01-21-2005, 08:10 AM
Heh there, grass, you're getting up. I'm going to bed. Too bad you have to go to work. Then again, better than being holed up all day and maybe. . . eating!! Will you be able to get to the gym tonight? Glad to hear the scales aren't being too hostile. What is their problem anyhow?!?! :mad: Jeez, I would love to be at 140. I would feel, well, like I used to feel, like I did after all have a waist, not just a big chunky midsection. :lol:

Well, I was great today. Ok, not with the eating. I blew a lot of calories eating sugar because I just grabbed something after all the exercise. Boy, walking really makes you lunge for it. I started off the day with a walk to the gym, then jogged 5K there and did chest and back weight training. After work I did the one stop on later, two stops off earlier on the train and that was despite the cold and wind and my being pretty tired. But I did it! And I was noticing that my face is getting back to "normal." I'd been looking at in thinking, this ain't me, who is this dumpy person and that must have been from the 10lbs I gained. But it's definitely looking thinner now. Now, the trick is not to look at the body and get too disgusted but then again now to not look at all (as I usually do) and continue to keep the fat on.

Ok, what's going on with you all here.

grasshopper -- glad I'm not the only one with a horoscope obsession/phobia. Enjoy your dinner, except for the meat I'd say it sounds good. Have a good day!

NBK -- I guess you're off for the weekend. Hope you don't stress out too much. Have a good one!

Crime girl -- :bravo: to you for exercising. I hate to ask, but what is an Xbox anyhow? What kind of exercise did you do? I think exercise, if you have to choose between eating and exercise, exercise is more important. I mean, yeah, the idea is to get them both in order but exercise lifts your spirits, gets junk moving and out of your body, gets you toned, gets your circulation going better. So, anyhow, CG, good for you!!

I wonder why I haven't hear of Passing for Thin before. Does seem a little odd that she wrote it even though she's only lost half her weight, or wait, do you mean she lost half of what she now weighs, or weighs half of what she did. I'm confused. I was thinking she had lost half of what she wanted to lose and still has more to lose. Which is it! Crime girl!?! I'm going to tear my hair out here.

Ok, send that chump over here real quick. The nerve of him, junking out in front of you. :mad: At least the cigs are gone. Tell him you're going to dump him if he doesn't get his act together. :lol:

About animals, yes, that's the word, intuitive, that's what they are. I agree with grass, it does sound like you've got to get yourself a horse, or at least take up riding.

Sometimes, I do wear a pedometer. It does help to remind me to get out and walk if I haven't been. I can just go and go and go once I get started. In fact, I've walked all the way home from work a few times, takes three hours! Tokyo is probably the best city in the world for walking. There is always a place to walk, whether it's a sidewalk or not. People walk everywhere and it's so safe, anytime of day or night, anywhere in the entire city is safe. I think on an average day I take about 10,000 steps but sometimes it's way over that. Of course, some of that is just me jostling around because I wear it all day long. It'll add up in the train too but not much so I don't care. I think the idea of measuring the steps is just to get an average and then work with that. Did you read how great I was today too?! Well, did you, did you?!?! (she says wagging her tail like crazy and looking for a big pat).

Ok, fellow arsonist, let's go on a fastfood demolition crusade. And you're not alone in not being able to stay out of them, that's why they make me so angry. They are addictive and so bad for people. I mean, it's not just about being fat. Fat kills people. It shortens their lives. It makes them unhappy. And people need all the help they can get, not some loan shark laughing behind a Happy Meal. Thank God I never got into them heavy (no pun intended), don't know why. Guess, it's been because I've been away from the States so long and they just don't appeal to me over here. That and knowing the calories and fat calories and then because I'm a veggie. Heh, did you read Fast Food Nation yet? If you read that you can maybe find another reason to stay away, more political or social. They really are exploitive places. That said, I used to work at Wendy's, before I came to Japan too I was working there to get some money together. I did pickup window cash register early morning. I got to know all the people and just how they wanted their coffee and I'd make it for them because they were driving and couldn't do it themselves. Still, I wasn't eating the stuff, though I did have Wendy's salads ALL the time. That's one good thing about them. Those salads are good and easy and fast. Glad I never got into the burgers and fries. And I never drank soda in my life. Hated it from the time I was a kid. Now, you know I'm weird, don't you?! :rofl:

Heh, I like the idea of you doing my horoscope! But you'd have to do it for my coming day. Would you do that? That'd be fun. Maybe you could intuit some really good ones.

Ah yes, poetic Crime girl, Robert Frost. . .

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

But, I, MUST sleep now, no more miles. Hitting the hay (the floor) here. Good night! :wave:

OH, and for the record, I'm planning on going to the gym AFTER work tomorrow (Saturday). Wish me luck, ok?

Crime girl
01-21-2005, 08:52 AM
Hi all! What a beautiful day today in stupid Florida. It is 46 degrees today and I can already feel my spirits lifting.
The only bad thing this morning is on the news some ******ed group is against Sponge Bob Square Pants because they say he is homosexual. OH MY GOD! Get a life people- and stay away from my Sponge Bob!!!

red- Okay explanations for you! Xbox is a video game- it is like a modern Atari although it is much more advanced. The program I got for it is a "personal trainer" program- this animated chick named Maya has you enter your health stats and exercise past and then makes a workout program for you. Every day that you have programmed you will workout you go and turn it on and Maya is like a workout tape and works out with you. There is even a tutorial to show you how to do the steps if you can't figure it out. On top of that it has a unit for meditation and she does Yoga poses and shows you how to do them. Over time she keeps up with your progress on both fronts and makes things harder as you progress. I really like it!

As for Passing for is a woman who lost half of her body weight. Here is a link :
It is her struggle to lose and how she adjusts to a new way of life when she gets there. I saw a review in Running magazine and it looked good so I picked it up. I will let you know if it is any good.

I am packing bf's bags as we speak- I think a couple weeks in Japan would shock him into submission. :lol: He means well- he tries not to eat in front of me and honestly he has no concept what is bad for him.

WOW! I was already impressed with the amount you work out but if you are walking 10,000 steps a day then you are doing so well!!! You should be proud of yourself- most people don't even get in the steps more or less the gynm time you do! Good for you!! I am proud of you!

I have yet to read Fast Food Nation but I am going to. I have to confess I managed a Hardees (fast food burger joint) for 2 years when I first came to Florida and frankly gained a good 40 pounds there. I just crave fries and burgers- would love to replace that with humus and tofu. I think someone should open a fast food healthy place to eat! If it was as convienant maybe people would switch!

I could do a horoscope for you for sure- what time do you get up and what time is that in my time zone?? Your last post says 7:10 am for me- what time was it for you?? If we can work it out- I will post one for you every day before you get up for that day. Let me know!

I am so happy you got the Robert Frost reference-I love poetry! Especially Frost! Have you ever read Carl Sandburg? Love him too-use to go to his house in North Carolina.

Little grasshopper- Sorry you have to go to the office- so no patients for you today?? Do you hate Fridays?
Be careful in all that snow! I know it is not much still on the ground but people get crazy and lose their minds in bad weather.
As for owning a horse- I would love it! One day I will do that- I haven't been able to ride in years but one day! I would love to live again in the country and have a field full of animals. I would own horses and I would adopt as many dogs as I could so I could help them stay out of the pound. :D

Okay- well I need to go- have to go to work!
Have a wonderful day today everyone!!

01-21-2005, 03:24 PM
crime girl, how are you liking Maya?? Isn't she great?

Well not only have I not been here... I've been eating HORRIBLE :( I had pizza, taco bell, ice cream... I've been nuts :( But today, I'm back on my plan...Back to being healthy!!

01-21-2005, 05:21 PM
Good morning. Not many posts happening. I guess when I'm asleep people are mostly (East Coast U.S.) getting their days started and not writing emails! Perhaps a good thing as I have been spending so much time here. BUT, I love it. You all have been such a help. I think this is why I have been able to get moving again.

Crime girl -- Thanks for all your encouraging and supportive words. You are really sweet. And why is Florida "stupid"? I've never been there but if you're there it can't be all bad. I must laugh at how I so often take things the wrong way, in a way that is believing something that sounds very strange but I go, Ok, maybe that's possible. Now, you can see why I get duped so easily, especially in love. I think it's a good thing though. It means I'm open to different ways of seeing things, different cultures and philosophies. I am NOT saying, this is the way it's gotta be and anyone else has to change to be like ME! Oh, getting carried away there. Why I was laughing again, CG, is not only did I honestly wonder why that woman (Passing for Thin) had written a book when she had only lost half the weight she wanted to lose :lol3: but next I was wondering what a ******ed group was doing criticizing Sponge Bob. I was thinking, well, there must be ******ed people that are homosexuals, no? Then, I got it, ******ed as an adjective, duh? Little slow on the uptake there, aren't we?! Yes, like you said CG, these people need to get lives, or something, fast, perhaps to have all the children ever born to them openly and very happily, gay, that would be a good start.

Horoscopes! Yes, please send me one. Any time between your 7 a.m. and 2 p.m. would be best as that's when I'm asleep. But, heh, don't go out of your way because I know you're very busy. But if you think of it and feel like having some fun, send one my way! Thanks! :spin: Can I do something for you? Give you a word of the day, Japanese proverb of the day, literal and figurative meanings? Japanese love proverbs and have tons of them. OK, simple proverb with which you can annoy people. By the way, did you ever try "-chan" out on people? A very well know one that means, heh, anybody can slip up, even the best can slip up, is "Even monkeys fall from trees." So the next time someone says to you, "wow, I never thought YOU would ever fail a test." (I take it you don't fail tests often) you can just shrug and nonchalantly say, "Oh, heck, even monkeys fall from trees." and they will look at you and think, "monkeys?" "trees?" "what the ****?" "oh, what a friggin' weirdo this girl is." :lol: How about it?

That Xbox thing sounds really cool. Kind of freaky, but cool and I would think that would be fun to work out to, which means, you would DO it. Which is the most important thing! I am very proud of you too for exercising!! I am not so great as you make me out to sound. Walking is a necessity here in Tokyo so everyone automatically gets quite a bit in. It's hard not to but yes, I have been trying again recently. :thanks:

But, of course I know that Robert Frost poem. It has a horse in it!! Sandburg, no, I didn't know his poems. What is your favorite?

I was thinking of a health food place too and think enough people would eat there to make a go of it. I think the whole image of health food places as something for weirdos or people who are different and looking down on people who love to pig out and do the couch potato thing is a big part of what keeps the camps divided. I understand both sides. I've done the pig out, stuff my face with everything in sight routine. I know how easy it is to do and how enjoyable it can be. I have done the drink till you puke thing too over and over again and smoke till I'm blue in the face thing too. People don't realize that I swing or have swung both ways and to the far extremes of the pendulum. And, it's like, if I can do both, so can they, no? Well maybe. I can never understand that people don't seem to realize that they are a hair's breadth away from many things at which they scream, "Oh, horrors!" or condemn outright. Circumstance and peer pressure and the current fashion can change everything. There are very few among us with really strong principles that will weather circumstance. Like they say, "circumstance doesn't make the man, it reveals him."

By the way, I looked up the Amazon reviews for Passing for Thin and am reading them. It looks interesting, the book, and I may get it. I love reading about people's struggles and victories. It inspires me to keep on.

Jacque -- Heh, what's happening to you, girl? Come on, don't cancel out all that great work you did losing weight. Is this the backlash for losing too quickly? I hope not. Rein yourself in! How long has this been going on? Are you back under control? Come on, don't let a little victory go to your head. You're in this for the long haul, right? :coach: No sleeping hare under the tree letting that stupid tortoise win the race, OK? Throw that junk away and get with it!

Crime girl
01-21-2005, 10:30 PM
Really- I can give him to you cheap but once you have him I do not take returns. He is driving me crazy!! First it is- spend some time with me which is OK. Then it turns to let's watch TV and oh by the way only what he wants to watch. I come upstairs to read for school- he washes the dog (a good thing) but lets him loose in my house completely wet! (bad thing) Sometimes I seriously worry about him. :?:

Okay I feel better now- eating horribly today and not sure why. Sometimes I eat because I feel deprived of fun and want a treat for myself. It is a "I will go out and eat because I work hard and go to school so I deserve it." Oh how I set myself up for failure!

Red- I think you are right that we are at work or school when you are posting- post anyway. We eventually catch up and we love to hear from you. :D
In answer to your question- Florida is stupid because it is always one tempature! I need to get out of this state in a big way. I need season changes and cold weather to be happy.
You pointed out something in your post that I didn't even know I was doing. I probably shouldn't use "******ed" to describe things. I guess it is such a habit from people around me I have picked it up. I can see where someone truly disabled might take offense. :o
As for walking in the states- some areas are very walking friendly. I am sure in New York, Chicago, Atlanta and such (big cities) they get a lot of walking in. Unfortunately where I live has never heard of a sidewalk and the only mass transport is buses. You would think in a college town we would at least get some sidewalks and bike lanes, right? Very few - let me tell you!
As for Passing for Thin- I just got it but I saw a review in Runner's World and it sounded good. From what I have seen it looks like a good read and I like to read about success stories too.
Didn't think about the horses as a reason to read Frost. Carl Sandburg is a really good poet as well. One of the things he wrote is:

THE fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
I will give you a horoscope every day that I can- I think it will be a joy! You can post me a proverb or a great saying anyday you want. I am going to use the monkey one. It is so me- people normally look at me like "what in the heck does she mean??" I love to use funny expressions and I have called several people "chan". So fun! :lol:

We can work out the wrinkles in our new "health" fast food right after we torch all the ones that are bad for us. I really think a healthy fast food place would work- would have to be clever with what is called because people avoid healthy sometimes because they equate it with tasting bad. Would have to come up with a clever way to market. I would go to a healthy place if it was out there. ;)

Jacque- I love Maya but she really kills me. I now see just how out of shape I am. It is OK though- she will whip me into shape. Do you do the meditation garden? I think I am going to try that too. :D
You and I have to get it together and get back on track. Let's make a pact- we both get with it and try to make it just 3 days without cheating once. What do you think??

Okay well I better go- homework to do before I sleep.. :lol:
I hope everyone comes back and posts- I can't take losing anyone else. I still miss some of our old crew. :cry:

Have a wonderful night friends! You are the best!!

01-22-2005, 08:52 AM
Hi there. Quickie here. Late for me already. Again, eating not hot today but lots of exercise, well, mostly just walking actually. Did the usual (for this past week) extra walking going in to work and then went out for a walk in the afternoon. Forced myself to go to the gym. It was so crowded. Just did arms and shoulders and no jogging. But I said to myself I either jog there and take the bus home or I don't jog and walk. So I walked. Good going I guess.

I don't think I'm going to see a drop in weight this week. The reason I say that is because I've been getting on the scale, even though it's at different times of day and with clothes on and such but the numbers are way high so it's NOT looking good. . . hmm, hope I can take it well. All this walking. I know I've been eating but I've always been eating so you think I'd see a drop. Well, I still have til tomorrow.

Where IS everybody??! :?: It's SOO lonely around here.

Crime girl, it looks like no takers for the BF. What are you going to do? Have you tried eBay?

How did your eating go? Or, maybe you were sleeping. . I totally am the same as you when it comes to feeling "deprived" because of everything I'm doing. We've got to think of other ways to reward ourselves.

Did you grow up in Florida or somewhere where there were seasons?

I read that Sandburg fog poem. It's like a haiku. Yes, very pretty.

Am looking forward to my horoscope!

Well, gotta get to bed. Hope you're caught up with your studying. Yeah, I don't know where the crew has gone. Probably in a slump or taking a breather. That happens. Don't worry. Everyone loves you! :grouphug: They'll be back.

Ciao for now! :wave:

little grasshopper
01-22-2005, 11:26 AM
Hi - BF erased the computer and I forgot all my passwords....had to get them again :)

Red - you're probably asleep now, but I'm here :) Sorry. I didn't sleep well all week so I finally took something last night so I coudl get some hours in. Feeling better and more ready to tackle the world now.

Crime girl - I asked before but didn't see your answer if you gave one...sorry - do you know where apalachicola florida is? My family is from there and my grandfathers on both sides were light house keepers there. I try to go about once a year - we are probably going to lose one of the lights in the next round of storms, if they don't find the funding to move it. I can understand why they wouldn' sits on little saint george island and no one even lives's on the ocean side and the houses have already been lost. It looks so sad and lonely there. To think, my grandma and my mom use to run play there.....It's kind of neat. But ot live on an island a lone had to have been hard!

okay, I have not worked out all week and I can tell. Sickness at the beginning of the week and weather at the end (oh there was the winter trek - I worked out that day :) ) I'm going today. They're calling for more snow today and I know my gym will close if that happens. I need to get back on track before my vacation next week. I doubt I'll hit my goal before I go. Not that I haven't tried.....I'm doing better than I ever have before and not seeing the results I saw so easily just 2 years ago. oh well......keep plugging I guess. Talk to you ladies soon. Meri

Crime girl
01-22-2005, 02:35 PM
I can't be on too long- I have a ton of stuff to do and little time to do it.

Little Grasshopper- Yes I have heard of apalachicola florida. People in Tallahassee go down there on the weekends and such. I am not as familiar as some but I have seen the lighthouses! WOW- that is pretty cool that your grandfathers were the keepers. It is a shame they can't get funding though. I know a ton of people go to St. George Island- including me once a year.
I think living on an island alone would have its share of perks too.

Here is your horoscope for today:
"Today will be a day of joy. You will have a worry free mind and will accomplish something that has been weighing heavily on it. There is a lightness to you today so take time to stop and smell the roses."

Your only walking and doing light exercise is more than my entire workout. Remember that muscle weighs more than fat so don't let the scales decide how you are doing. How are you feeling? Healthy? and how are your clothes fitting? Look at those measures.

I think I am going to have to put my bf on eBay. Hmm..what would be a good sale price? He is a nice guy and if I don't have to disclose some of the dumbass things he does I might get some good money for him. :lol:

To answer your question- I grew up in South Carolina in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Parkway. We had definite weather changes- I miss them. I miss the crisp air of Fall and the cold refreshing air of winter. In Florida we are stuck on hot and hotter. It sucks!

Okay well let me know how everyone is doing! Today is Sat in the states so it is reflection day for us. How did you do this week?

Question of the day:
What event in history during your lifetime was most memorable to you? why?

Have a wonderful day everyone!! :D

little grasshopper
01-22-2005, 04:50 PM
I guess everyone is out enjoying their weekend. I hope you're all having fun.

My eating today has been pretty good. We went Red, Hot and Blue (a bbq and rib place) and I had two ribs, dry rubbed and an order of broccoli. I'm now having some rice Ice cream - mint carob chip :)

The spaghettie squash last night was wonderful!! I felt exactly like I'd just had a big plate of pasta!!! It was such a nice reward!! I highly recommend it!

My exercising is non existant. The weather has thrown such a loop into things. I plan to hit the gym tomorrow though and I'm going to do some pillates later today. I promise!! :)

I'll talk with you guys soon.

little grasshopper
01-22-2005, 05:12 PM
As for the question of the day - I hate to go with this one but I have to. 9/11. I worked in a company that was mostly northern. So everyone had a family member affected in some way. Missing, or known dead or thank god, called in sick. On a selfish but life altering level I lost a tons of clients and businesses because they either did business with WTC companies, and couldn't get paid or they my clients were had HQ's there and didn't make it past the attacks. It marked the end of so many things and the start of so much conflict and strife and I think that we're still sorting out individually and as a nation and world how we feel about the act itself and our place in the world before and after it. It was the end of innocence in so many ways. I am forever connected to the people I was standing with the day it happened and how hard it was to get messages to people in meetings that had no idea but we knew had family members working on the towers. It was just an awful day and the time since has been very strained and hard. We, as a country are so young and we are learning to be adults - some times we're better at it than others, but this was a jolt to that teenage belief of being invincible.

On a lighter note - I will also never forget the day they found the "Queen Anne's Revenge" Black Beard's pirate ship - off the coast of Morehead city NC. I grew up on the Cape Fear River, with Pirate stories all around. I lived in Beaufort, NC - right across from Morehead City - at the bottom of the outer banks..when this happened and it was the talk of EVERYTHING! There was this huge battle between the two towns as to who it belonged to. I got to see a lot of the stuff they brought up and it brought Colonial history even more to life for me. I live in the heart land of all of that stuff and it was so cool to see history surface like that!

01-22-2005, 07:39 PM
Good morning people. I slept in this morning. Would have been here for you earlier grass if I'd been up as early as I normally get up but I hadn't set my alarm and was just allowing myself to wake up naturally. Got to bed an hour later than usual last night because I'd been to the gym. So, here again now. Gong on 8 a.m.

I haven't gotten on the scale yet. I have been writing everything down in a food journal but I confess I have not been tallying up the calories. There is no law requiring calories to be on the labels here and also a lot of the stuff is homemade or baked goods (well, not a lot but I had some scones!) and so it's hard to figure out. Is there a reason I reach for things I don't know the calorie count of and can "hide" behind. yeeeesssss. I'm afraid so. I think I should perhaps add up those calories and get a rough estimate BEFORE I weigh myself because I think then I won't be pissed at the number on the scale. But too, I am definitely getting some muscle back and that will perhaps weigh more. Ok, blah, blah, blah blah. Just do it!


Grasshopper -- you know, I would think if you tried to get some fundraising thing going, some "Save the Lighthouse" thing you could. That surely must be a historical building. Have you contacted such societies? My sister used to be very interested in that and worked with such a group I think earlier. In Pittsburgh there are tons of old houses that have been preserved. If people are going to the island there must be some way of reaching them. I would hate to see that lighthouse go. I would really try if you could. I love old things, especially in the States. Probably because they're NOT that old. I don't like the ancient feel of Europe. There it just feels dark and gloomy. I felt so much gloom in Europe. Italy and Ireland felt much better. I mean, it's a feeling I get around places, maybe an intuitive thing. I don't know, maybe it's just a feeling from the people living there. My great-grandmother had a farm out on Staten Island. I remember going there as a little girl. There was nothing out there then. Both my parents are from NYC. It's sad when things can't be preserved because so much in the States at least still is and a lot of it is just a matter of effort moreso than the money involved, especially if you're willing to just preserve a small part of it. Please try to save the lighthouse, grass.

I feel your pain too about the lack of weight loss. You have missed workouts and so maybe that will be the reason your weight doesn't drop. But you see, you DO know that you are "doing better than ever" so you do have other ways of measuring than just the numbers on the scale. I think we really, really have to think of ways to keep this kind of thing foremost in our mind. It's always THE BIG PICTURE! Perhaps we should make up an assessment sheet, where we look at all different aspects of our efforts, healthful eating, how we feel, how our clothes fit, how much exercise we've given our bodies, and then the number on the scale. That way we'll have a much more rounded picture of our "progress." I think I will make up a sheet and print it out and make copies and put these in a notebook to fill out each day along with the daily log of food and exercise that I already do.

So, anyhow, grass, stick to it. I know I will be irritated if the scale doesn't move but I'm tired of ignoring all the efforts I HAVE made. I also don't think it's right or smart to be getting excited over a drop on the scale if I haven't been eating good foods or the drop is due to the fact that I have lost muscle weight (if I am not trying to lose muscle weight). I mean, I could start smoking again, drink tons of coffee all day long, eat only junk food but in a limited amount. lose muscle and become a weak waste of space and the numbers on the scale would go down and down and would I be happy? **** no! I remember, years ago, before I'd found the gym and weight training, I starved myself down. In fact, I did everything I just mentioned above and I looked at myself naked in the mirror and all I saw was a miniature version of what I'd been. Big deal. It did not reflect anything I valued. Now if I wanted to "fit in" -- in to a society that prefers me to take up as little space as possible, in every sense, then fine, I would have fulfilled that goal. But, even at 5 feet 1.5 inches, I have no intention of being a "small person" in any sense other than my physique. Yeah! :strong:

Grass, I wish I could find spaghetti squash here. I have never had it. There is one store that caters to the ex-pats here and they, if anyone, could perhaps have it. When is it in season? Of course, I would be paying an unbelievable price but if I found it I would try it. Will give a look for it.

Crime girl -- Thank you so much for the horoscope. I have saved it in a separate file and will think of it through the day. The something that is "weighing heavily" on my mind could be either one of two pieces of work I must finish this week and today is really the only day I have to get a good bit of both done. But I want to get a ride in too and that takes up so much of the day. It looks like it's going to be a gray, cold day out but I will try to keep the lightness in my step and, if I get out to the stable, to take longer in appreciating being able to share time with my horse.

Yes, what you are saying about the clothes and other measures is what I was saying to grass above. You are so right. I know these things. Why is it that I tend not to do them when it comes to myself?

Of course, if you put the BF on eBay you will have to make him look a lot better than you presently perceive him to be. I would write your ad up looking at his "potential." Use words such as "shows incredible promise," "virtually" and dangling comparatives and superlatives such as "one of the most considerate, helpful, and conscientious." Just don't finish the sentence which would be "one of the . . . . men I though I would ever meet until I realized, that I could, in fact, do much, much better if I was just a bit more patient." and things like this. "Virtually" is a word they use in advertising, which means, "like, but in fact, not" but most people think of it as meaning "almost" and think they're doing well. Anyway, have fun! You may want to be a bit more careful, because the eBay people will probably pull your ad if they see it because I don't think you can offer people for sale. You might want to consider disguising the fact that he is human by using code, such as describing him as a teddy bear or a robot. Tell me how it goes!

Getting serious again, ah the Blue Ridge Parkway. I know the Blue Ridge Mountains so I think I have an idea of where you grew up though I was only in Charleston, SC. because my sister lived there for a while. Yes, I can imagine Florida getting on your nerves. Well, no reason you can't move, is there? After your studies are finished, maybe you should seriously consider it?

Question of the day: Before I read grass' reply I hadn't thought of 9/11 although that certainly affected me even though I was here. I spent a sleepless and wired night sending emails to a friend in New York who was giving me a blow-by-blow account of what was going on. He told me the tower had fallen before I saw it on TV. The 10-second satellite delay meant I didn't understand what he was saying until I saw it go down. I was on the phone to my aunt in Brooklyn telling her what was going on because her TV was out because the antenna for it was on the WTC. My uncle in Queens, no doubt having flashbacks to WWII, too was ready to flee the city. And I was on the phone to my dad in Pittsburgh but later was worried sick when I heard a plane had gone down near there but couldn't get through anymore from here because the lines were jammed. All in all, a very tense night though I lost no one I had known. I had just been up on the towers a few months earlier showing a friend around and the towers had also been a favorite since they were built. I'd taken many people from all over the world up them and always seen them as a welcome back to the U.S. kind of symbol when I'd fly in to Newark or Kennedy. Last time I was there it felt so lonely to not see their familiar shape. But, I don't know if I would consider that memort the most memorable. It's hard to say because the memory is still too fresh. I suppose it will be. But for now I guess I'd have to go with them taking the first step on the moon or the end of the Vietnam War. You see, I've got a good 10-20 years on most of you! Then again, if you ask why, I probably can't say, which means I just remember them well but wasn't emotionally involved in them. If you want an event that was both historical (at least in Japan) and in which I was emotionally involved I guess it'd have to be when a famous racehorse went down in the backstretch of a big race here. The events after that, the reporters waiting after the race asking me how I was going to lead my story, with the horse breaking down (they euthanized him on the track) or the winning horse, me waiting for the groom to return to the stables and seeing him walking back, head down, the horse's halter hanging from his hand, the tears running down his face. I couldn't let myself cry because I had to write a story and take the bullet train all the way back to Tokyo. I knew if I started crying I wouldn't be able to stop and I would look like a monster with my eyes swollen shut. Maybe that memory, or another one, when I found out a famous trainer and dear friend of mine had died. I was coming home from riding and someone sitting across from me was reading a sports newspaper and the whole front page was the news of this man's death. I hadn't known. I was in shock, fought back the tears because I knew, again, if I started crying I wouldn't be able stop but when I came up out of the subway station I couldn't hold them back any longer. I went to the wake the next day, which was my birthday. So maybe those, too. Gosh, I am writing a novel here, aren't I?

Sorry about that. OK, calling it a post! :wave:

Crime girl
01-22-2005, 09:12 PM
Hi again everyone-just wanted to respond back to you-

Red- I am officially forbidding you from telling any other stories that involve sadness and animals. (just kidding ;) ) Once again I am sitting here crying like a baby about the guy who was walking away from his horse with tears streaming down his face. I see now why you are a writer. You have a unique ability to tell stories that make me picture them so vivdly in my mind. Sometimes this causes tears though! That poor guy- I couldn't imagine. I know jockeys and their horses have a phenomenal bond and I bet he was heartbroken. :cry: Okay- enough about that- my bf kids me because I don't get really sad until an animal is involved then I turn into a blubbering fool.

I am glad you did not lose anyone from 911. I can imagine it was terse waiting to get through and wondering if everyone was OK. Also seeing a friend on the front page. WOW! That would have thrown me and I think I would have lost it.

As for me and 911- like Grasshopper said- I have a bond now with the people that experienced that with me. I really had a hard time with it and I didn't even know anyone in the towers. I was depressed for months and would cry in the weirdest moments. I don't know why it effected me so strongly exceot maybe all the stories of people who had lost someone and the stories of people that survived. I think the image that effected me the most was two people praying together and you could see the towers on fire behind them. People were rushing past them and they stopped on the sidewalk in a mass of people to pray. Gives me chills.

I am glad you liked your horoscope. I am trying to put some though into them and I want them to be upbeat and happy. I hope you get to ride today and take to heart taking extra time to enjoy life a little.

As for my bf I guess I won't actually put him on eBay although there are times when it is tempting. I am so stressed about that situation because I have to decide in April whether we move together or I strike out on my own. On top of graduation, new job, etc. I have to make this huge decision about my life. :?:

Charleston SC is really pretty. I use to go there on the weekends when I attended the University of South Carolina in Columbia SC. A group of us would go down and hang out and for awhile I dated a guy who went to the Citadel in Charleston. Good memories in that town. :D
I am from Spartanburg which is way north of Charleston- right before you cross into NC. I lived in a little town in Spartanburg called Boiling Springs and we lived way out in the country. Man, I miss my old house sometimes.

Anyway- don't stress the scales so much. I think your idea of measuring other aspects is really great. You should definitely look at your muscle formation and how your body is reacting to the walking and working out. I bet you are doing better than you give yourself credit for.

Grasshopper- Don't sweat the weight loss- you once said something that I find especially true- you are on a restricted diet and there is only so much you can do. I think you have nothing to worry about- sounds like you are getting stronger and more fit and that is wonderful!

I didn't know they found a sunken ship off the coast of NC. That is really cool! I can see how that would be memorable for sure. As for 911 - I kind of responded to red with that too. I totally agree with you that it made an impact on my life. I think a few others for me would be when the space shuttle exploded in the 80's with the teacher aboard. Believe it or not, when Walter Cronkite went off the air- he was who my dad always watched and there was a special reverence in my family for him. It was sad to see him go off the air because it closed a chapter of memories with my dad.
Another moment for me was when a dear friend of mine died of cancer when I was in 8th grade. That was the first time I ever experienced death and I had seen him the day before he died. It profoundly changed me just knowing him. Anyway- life has a way of changing us sometimes for the worse and often for the better.

Well tonight I am reading for class and it is a Saturday night- sometimes I feel like such a nerd. WOOHOO! Hot time at my house on a Saturday night! Geez!
I have been doing terrible with eating and only slightly better with food. I don't know why I refuse to do this. Sigh!
I better go- this is turning into a novella and I need to get back to it.
Have a wonderful night everyone!

01-22-2005, 09:16 PM
Okay, guys, I did it, weighed myself and, as I expected, I did not post a loss, but a gain. :cry: Oh well, though my exercising has been great, my eating wasn't. How am I ever going to lose the fat if I keep cancelling out the exercise by eating. I'm considering it maintenance, however, because I have tightened up. I'm a bit sore too so there will be some water weight there. Oh well, it sucks but I will use this to try to learn to finally stop spinning my wheels. I mean, I DID do a ton of exercise this week. I had no beer whatsoever. So, I have to consider the high price I'm paying for the sugar, chocolate and licorice I ate. Yes, I'm bored at work, I'm looking for a reward, an immediate reward, when I get home at night. So, if that's enough to throw away my chance at losing fat, then I'll have to accept that. If not, I'll have to make changes in what I'm doing throughout the week. I do like the muscle. I do like the strength. Can I lose a bit of the sugar, a bit of the empty calories in exchange for seeing some of the fat come off? These are my choices. I'm going to reflect on them . . .

You see, how adult I'm being?! ;) Can I keep this up?!? Oh, the actual numbers were, present weight is 73.6 kg, up 0.88 lbs from last week, still up 1.76 lbs from Jan. 2 starting weight.

Crime girl
01-22-2005, 09:22 PM
I just saw your post! Do not get upset over 2 pounds! Geez- you know better than that. That could be all water weight from lifting weights and in reality after you adjust - your weight will go down. My question for you is how do you feel? I bet you are feeling better and healthier.
Yes- if you lay off the candy you will have better results. If I ate nothing but rice and ran 6 miles a day I would show some too. You can't deprive yourself of anything that is slightly bad. Yes- cut down on sweets but give yourself a break. You are not perfect and that is a good thing.
Okay off my soapbox- :soap: buck up! You are doing great!
Also- keep in mind that stress may cause you to retain and you are going through some life changes right now- going to be stressful but that is OK.

01-22-2005, 09:39 PM
Crime girl -- I am sitting here crying myself because I was remembering all the other parts of that racing breakdown that I hadn't written about and they were much sadder. I will not write about them though for your sake. Just promise to buy my books some day when they come out, OK? I certainly don't want people to cry, I mean, that's never my intention but people always say they do. Of course, I'm crying when I write the stories that make people cry so I guess if I were the only one crying it wouldn't speak well for my either my mental health or my writing!

OK, I won't fret the weight gain, lack of loss. Losing weight is hard work, especially for a survivor-type body like I have. And I am rather extreme in the type of body I want, which is really an athlete's body. If I want it, then I have to accept and be proud of the amount of work it is going to take to get it. Then I can be all the more proud of it when I get it. And I'm going to get it this year! Of course, only a few people, such as the bodybuilders at the gym, will realize just what that effort is, but I will know and I am hoping that is enough. I guess I shouldn't make light of the effort I put into things. I think the tendency to belittle what I do comes from trying to be liked by everyone, well, not everyone, but people I like, even though they may be total slackers, people who I think are wasting their lives. The thing is, I don't think that's a reason for me to criticize them or think less of them, but, unfortunately, that's usually not the case with them. They're the very people who seem to find it extremely easy and even gratifying to criticize others, including moi! I wonder if they don't see things or, much more likely, if they do and are jealous, yet not willing to put in the effort themselves and so transfer their own self-disappointment into criticism of me. Whatever. I try to be modest but that takes its toll, in that you really start to not recognize your own achievements.

Ok, I have to leave now. I will write more later so don't think I am ignoring your nice long post Crime girl. Thanks for your encouragement and all. It really means a lot. :love: Later!

Crime girl
01-22-2005, 10:40 PM
This will be a really quick post-
Of course I will buy your book and in all seriousness you should consider writing one. You have a way with words and I think you would write a winner!
As for the friends who like to criticize-some people who can't accomplish their goals or aren't happy with themselves will belittle someone else to make themselves feel better. I don't know why this happens but they like to try to knock people down to their level. Don't let them do it!
Remember that - Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. What matters is what you think. Concentrate and stay focused on your goals- you can do it. Also- it is just as important and hard for you as the rest of us. I think in some respects your struggle is harder because to see results you really have to work. Someone like me just needs to change a few things and make some effort to see results. I have so much more weight than you to lose. You will see less changes in the scales and more in your body tone and strength. Don't lose focus- you can do anything you set your mind to.
Okay- need to run- have to get back to reading.

little grasshopper
01-23-2005, 12:51 AM
You know, seems to me you are both talking about writing a book....looks like I have a few to pick up in the future :) But only if I can get them signed :)

Forgive me - I've had 2 glasses of wine. I haven't had wine since Thanksgiving. I'm now a lush with a capital L. I do feel very good and happy with the world...oh and very much in love with my wonderful Boyfriend. :)

As for life changing but none historical events. April 19, 1988. I was riding in the passenger mom driving, my grandmother in the back seat and my brother asleep in the seat behind me. It was about 8:00 at night. We were on our way home from a special church service. It was starting to rain and we were listening to an a musac station that was playing a voiceless "she's like the wind..." We were on a highway, so we were going about 55...the school bus ran the stop sign completely. We hit it several times as it drug us, spinning, through the intersection. I have few memories after that. I remember that my brother tried to pull me from the car but when he saw my face he freaked out. I was trying to tell him I wasn't hurt, it just looked bad - but he says I never said anything to him. I remember my mom trying to take my rings off and telling me to get out of the car because she was scared it would blow up...that's when I realized I couldn't move. That was my life altering moment. I spent the next year of my life thinking about all the things you normally contemplate when you're much older....I had a lot of time to stare at the ceiling and thinking though. I missed my proms, the rest of my school year, and trip to Russia, and a boyfriend because of that night and it is forever a part of the time line of my life..."before the wreck" or "after the wreck" Every single diagnosis I get today I wonder if it's related to the accident and I fight to not wonder what my life would be like now if not for that wreck. I know I wouldn't be a massage therapist - so there is some good that came of it. But in truth it was a wreck that change every fiber of my being and should have killed me. I broke more bones than I didn't that night. I lost a ton of memories that night.

I am very lucky to be alive and I try to remind myself every day - I'm on borrowed time. I have to make the most of it. I think I'm truly making more of my life than I would have if not for the accident though. I really do. It has given me a courage I didn't have before. A kind of "if I can make it through THAT......." feeling.

If this was weird - blame the wine. GOOD BOTTLE too :) I don't even care that i can't have it ;) It's been two months - I'm due :)

Crime girl
01-23-2005, 02:37 AM
WOW! Grasshopper- that gave me chills. Was anyone else hurt in the accident? I know it is hard to recover and the moments of the accident- you trying to tell your brother you were okay- really shook me.

I had a bad accident when I was in 10th grade. My brother was driving and we were talking- he was home from college and we are close and we were talking to catch up. I remember getting in the car with him and despite warnings from my folks I did not put on a seatbelt. I was trying to eat a sandwich before going to a band competition and I actually remember thinking if my mom got mad about the seat belt I would have a good excuse.
Anyway- 2 houses up from us (about 1/2 mile) my brother leaned over to get a drink that I had between my knees and when he went to put it back he ran off the road. We jumped a 3 foot ditch-hit a man mowing his lawn with a push mower and hit a telephone pole. I remember trying to tell my brother I was OK and the expression on his face. The part I still have nightmares about is the sound of my mom screaming and crying- she heard the wreck from outside and came running the distance to get to us. I still wake up sometimes with the image of my dad holding my mom back so she wouldn't freak me out too bad. The doctors told me I was lucky- 5 miles faster and I would have been dead. Apparently my head went through the windshield and I pulled it back through after the wreck. I still don't remember that part. I had 9 major scars on my face because of it and I still have one remaining today. I went through 3 plastic surgeries and was set to go for a fourth for the last scar on my chin when I decided to keep it. I think I needed a reminder that I am lucky to be here. I wanted something that would remind me everyday that I am here for a purpose and I am blessed to have a chance to live my life.

Anyway- from what you have told us about your accident mine was not as bad as yours but I guess what I am trying to relay is I can understand that feeling of being spared. It is funny the things you remember from events like these in your life- a song on the radio, what you were talking about etc.

Enjoy your wine tonight little grasshopper. Be happy and celebrate life.
Until tomorrow-

01-23-2005, 06:51 AM
Wow, you guys, what can I say in reply to both your horrific tales! I guess all I can say is I'm glad you made it through and are still here with us!

grasshopper -- though I hate to think what I am if two glasses of wine makes you a lush! I am glad to hear you're enjoying yourself. I hope the repercussions from this mega-indulgence will not be too great. Not meant as a dig, I know you are very sensitive to such things. No, I'm really glad to hear you (and the BF) are having some fun.

As I said, what a horrific accident you had. Yes, I remember you saying you had been in an accident but hadn't known it was so bad. Yes, that is freaky about you thinking you were reassuring your brother that you were OK. Maybe you were ready to take leave from this world and what you meant by "OK" isn't what most people would mean. Was your face really injured badly or was it just the blood? Why was your mom trying to take your rings off and at the same time telling you to get out of the car? Strange. Was the time sequence of events messed up for you or was she actually trying to take your rings off then? You say you lost memories. So did you have brain damage and was your head badly injured? Sorry for all the questions. But, wow, this was such a life-changing event for you, I want to hear more about it. That is, of course, if you don't mind talking about it.

Crime girl -- Wow, you too! I'm so sorry to hear you went through a terrible accident too. How much school did you miss? Did that affect you a lot at such a vulnerable age having all those injuries, then scars to your face? Was the man mowing the lawn killed? In any case, I am glad you are with us now.

I have heard a lot of people who were deeply affected by the 9/11 attacks as well. I guess it was different for those of you in the States, and also maybe as you haven't lived abroad. I think living abroad (then again it depends on how you've lived I suppose) takes away an awful lot of that feeling of "home" and so things that threaten that concept or, in this case, the actual "home" perhaps don't affect you as much as people you have always had a strong feeling of home. I don't know. It may just be the individual person. I know people in New York who weren't affected by it much at all. But there again, there were friends of mine from here who have gone back to the States. In any case, I would think that one's philosophies, whatever they may be at that point in your life, are shaken and/or tested. I'm not sure I remember that picture of the people praying, maybe I do. I remember a voice clip I'd gotten off one of the news services, a woman, nearly in tears, her voice strained and breaking, describing the people jumping. It sends chills through me even to remember it now.

It sounds like you certainly do have some big decisions ahead of you. You sound like you really have it together though so I'm sure you will do the right thing. I really want you to meet your graduation goal weight. The weight change will change you considerably I am sure and I think you should be making these decisions from that new viewpoint. We tend to think we are the same person and maybe we are inside but the way we react to the outside is very different. I was very heavy when I lived in Germany and the things I missed out on, the things I would have done, I know I would have done (or hadn't done) were directly linked to my weight and how I felt about myself because of that weight. It was major and though I tend to forget, if I think about it I realize the impact my weight and appearance had on my life. Okay, some of that was just youth, but it was youth coupled with being overweight and in a society that really looked down on that, much more so than the States even. Even now, I'm sure there are so many things my weight and appearance affect and alter, if not only me and my thoughts and actions, than those of others. I mean really, it's like the way people treat you different if you wear different clothes. Our bodies are our costumes.

Oh, Crime girl, you're hardly a nerd. Anyone can go out and party on Saturday night but how many people can stay home and study? Not many. One night out is like most any night out with only slight variations. You can go out some night once your studying is over, and believe me, you won't have missed much that you can't catch up on REAL fast!! On top of that you will have something REAL that most people will only dream of, if they can even imagine it.

Crime girl
01-23-2005, 09:30 AM
Before I closed this thread I wanted to answer back to your post.

As for the wreck- it did profoundly change things for me both for the worse and for the better. I had a hard time trying to convince myself to go back to school with stitches but I have a dear friend who came over every day while I was healing and he protected me once I returned to school. Nobody messed with him so he used that to protect me from people making wise cracks etc. Basically he said he would kick anyone's butt that offended me. The accident made us closer as friends and he became close with my family as well. We are still friends to this day- I will always love him like a brother for protecting me.
Bad things also came of it of course. The man mowing his lawn was not killed but was injured pretty badly. We actually hit the mower itself and it slammed into him. He had to go to the hospital for stitches and had a lot of bruising.
There was also a rift between me and my brother who blamed himself for the accident. It took a long time before we got back to near the level of closeness that we had before it happened. My brother went back to college and promptly became an alcoholic and never finished school. He ended up in the Navy and that drove distance between us. As adult - now years later - we are finally getting back to being close again.
By the way- I missed 5-6 days of school for the accident and some school everytime I had plastic surgery.

As for 911 you are probably right in reference to me. I guess I kind of felt like a victim of a violent crime in their house- violated. I have always been proud of where I live- the land of the free, right? When they attacked us it profoundly shook my sense of security. I also saw people interviewed about other people jumping and I know what you mean about chills. I became a TV junkie when it heppened- drawn to the suffering and horrible stories of both death and survival. The TV didn't help me heal and probably made it much worse because that is all I saw for months.
I think you are right that people who have lived in different countries and travelled a bit have a different outlook and probably were not as shook and horrified as I was. I really haven't travelled at all- I have been to Canada but never anywhere else out of the country. I have also never been west of the Mississippi River. Sheltered a bit I guess.

As for my bf and all those decisions- I know they will work out. I try to let them go and have faith they will work out. It will not be easy but what in life worth having is easy? That goes for the weight loss too- I know I will be the same person on the inside and I am happy about that because that part I like. I agree that how I relate with the world will change. I do not do things now that I could because of my weight. I don't go out and dance, go bike riding down the Appalachee trails, join clubs, etc. because of my weight. I also want to make my target weight by graduation- I want to feel proud and empowered when I finish school. So- I am back on the program now and we will see how hard I can push myself to achieve my goals. :D

By the way- I am OK with being a nerd. I could go out if I wanted- I know that. People constantly invite me along but you are right- the studying has to happen. I know I need to set my priorities and get this stuff done. I just laugh because in my town EVERYONE goes out on the weekend. College town! I honestly would choose to stay home even if I didn't have school work. I have found that I no longer enjoy the act of going out, getting drunk, and partying until I puke. It seems so counterproductive to me and I am a type A personality that likes utility in my choices. Strange but true. :lol:

Okay time to go move our thread...

Crime girl
01-23-2005, 09:41 AM
Please move to Battle of the Bulge #9:
It can be found at: