The Maintenance Library - TFL Key #1: Believe That You Can Become Thin For Life




Meg
01-10-2005, 06:02 AM
Key To Success #1: Believe That You Can Become Thin For Life

My plan is to give a little synopsis of the chapter and then throw out a few topics for discussion. Feel free to respond or to post your own thoughts and opinions. There aren’t any rules or right and wrong ways to discuss the chapter – anything goes! ;)

TFL’s first Key To Success is - believe that you can become thin for life. The chapter focuses on convincing the reader that it IS possible to lose weight and keep it off permanently. Anne Fletcher writes that she wants to showcase the success stories of her weight loss masters to fuel your belief that “If they can do it, so can I.” She does this by introducing a number of weight loss masters – people who have lost at least 20 pounds and kept it off for at least three years – and telling their stories. Intertwined with the personal stories are quotes, statistics, and research from experts who study weight loss and maintenance. It’s a readable mix of facts and success stories.

Early in the chapter she introduces the National Weight Control Registry (NWCR) (p.3 & 4), a study group of weight loss maintainers. Several of us here at 3FC are NWCR members – for more info, check out our NWCR sticky here (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34678). The NWCR didn’t exist when the first edition of TFL was published and the addition of NWCR statistics to the second edition bolsters the first TFL with more evidence of how successful maintainers lose and maintain weight. Not surprisingly, NWCR statistics about maintenance parallel Anne Fletcher’s own findings from her interviews with the weight loss masters.

She asserts (pp. 4-9) that successful losers tend to ‘break the rules’ about weight loss – in other words, they defy the common stereotypes about what’s necessary to lose and maintain weight. I’ll briefly list them because it would be interesting to hear if and how our maintainers ‘broke the rules’:

Myth #1: If you’ve been overweight since childhood, it’s next to impossible to lose weight and keep it off.
Myth #2: If you’ve dieted and failed many times before, there’s little hope of ever licking your weight problem.
Myth #3: If you do succeed at losing weight and keeping it off, you’ll have to eat like a bird for the rest of your life.
Myth #4: In order to lose weight and keep it off, you’ll have to become an exercise fanatic.
Myth #5: It’s really hard to lose weight once you pass the age of 40.
Myth #6: You can’t lose weight on your own, let alone maintain weight loss.
Myth #7: Diets don’t work – if you lose weight on a diet, you’re bound to gain it back.
Myth #8: If you hit a plateau while losing weight, there’s little hope of moving on.
Myth #9: If you start regaining weight, you’re bound to gain it all back.
Myth #10: If you don’t stay at your original goal weight, then you’re a failure.

After a discussion of how and where the weight loss masters were located, the book defines weight maintenance (p. 14): But maintenance is not just reaching your weight goal. As weight-maintenance expert Michael G. Perri, PhD, of the University of Florida, stresses: “Maintenance means much more than weight maintenance. It includes the maintenance of other healthy lifestyle behaviors, such as healthy eating patterns, exercise, reducing stress, keeping healthy relationships, and more.” So, according to TFL, maintenance is more than a number - it’s keeping up the lifestyle changes that got us to goal.

The book then describes four stages of weight loss (pp. 15 & 16):
The honeymoon stage – when weight loss is oh so easy
The frustration stage - when weight loss becomes so hard and we wonder where the spark went
The tentative acceptance stage – when you learn how to live it but there are slipups
The lifestyle change stage – “they are confident that they’ll never gain the weight back and know what works and doesn’t work for them"


Next up is a section about the biological and genetic basis for obesity (pp. 16-22) – how timely in light of our recent thread here (http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51478) in Maintainers about obesity and metabolism! I won’t go into the details here except to say that the book takes the view – as many of us here do – so what? Regardless of how and why we put on the weight, we are capable of losing it and keeping it off.

The book then has a section on the non-dieting movement (p. 23–25) and concludes that there’s no evidence that non-dieting is an effective way to lose weight and that it doesn’t seem to be harmful to yo-yo diet; that is, try and fail any number of times before something clicks and you try and succeed. The book makes two important points here: you should take a long, hard look at how serious you are before you make your next attempt to lose weight and you may need to rethink your weight goal, both discussed further in the book.

The chapter concludes with sections titled It’s Your Choice and If You Think You Can, You Will (p. 26-28). These emphasize the important of thinking positively about weight loss, believing that you have the capability to lose weight, and recognizing that you control your weight – not anyone or anything else. The most noteworthy quote from the end of the chapter: It’s all a matter of choice. It is possible to become thin for life. But it’s up to you to decide if you are happy the way you are or if you want to take the reins and make a change.
Questions (feel free to offer questions and comments of your own):

Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?
Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?
How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?
What does maintenance mean to you?
Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?
Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?
Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?
Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyond your control predetermine your weight?


karynlee
01-10-2005, 12:17 PM
Thanks, Meg, for the outline. I read the chapter and took notes :^: , but it also helps to see what you pulled from the chapter. I hope you don't think you have to do that every time! I noticed your post was VERY early in the morning - is this a regular thing for you?

On March 18, 2002, for some unknown reason, I FINALLY knew I was going to lose the weight. I still have no idea why that day was different than any other magic Monday for me. I just woke up with the confidence that I could do it and that losing the weight was totally within my power. My question is, since Key #1 is so essential, how do you help other people get to that point? Is that even possible?

I'm especially drawn to myths #9 and #10 at the moment:
Myth #9: If you start regaining weight, you’re bound to gain it all back.
Myth #10: If you don’t stay at your original goal weight, then you’re a failure.

I'm up 10 lbs due to a vacation and holiday indulgences. Before I lost my "big" weight, 10 lbs wasn't much and I really wouldn't have been terribly concerned about gaining it. I probably wouldn't have even noticed it because I wore stretchy clothes and I never weighed myself - in other words, I lived in denial. Now, I'm fiercely determined to take off these extra pounds. Settling for being 10 lbs over my maintenance weight is not an option for me.

Along the same lines... I'm dealing with the "honeymoon" stage and the "frustration" stage right now. My slip-up(s) resulted in 16 extra lbs. Six of them came off immediately. I was enjoying the "honeymoon" stage for sure. I was convinced that all 16 would disappear in days. If 6 came off that easily, than I would be down to my maintenance weight in NO TIME! But, the scale hasn't budged for the last 5 days or so (despite being completely on track with both food and exercise) and I find myself very frustrated. I actually have to have patience and it's killing me. My memories of my several "frustration" stages during the big loss are all coming back! Thoughts of giving up, negative self-talk, fear that I will never be able to reach my goals....all that stuff. Logically, I know that I just need to accept the fact that this 10 lbs is "real" weight and will come off slowly. But, I just want it to be gone RIGHT THIS MINUTE. :stress:

Re-reading this book and participating in the discussion here is really going to be good for me! I think it will help me keep my head on straight! :spin:

Catlover777
01-10-2005, 07:04 PM
Just got the book today, and am very interested.

I know I can lose weight--aside from the 5-10 lbs we lose and gain, I've lost substantial amounts twice--gained some of the last back. Want to not live as a fat person on a diet, but as a healthy person.


Ilene
01-10-2005, 08:01 PM
Oh my Meg what a perfect synopsis and soooo much work! Thank you so much...

• The honeymoon stage – when weight loss is oh so easyI never had the “honeymoon” stage...I don’t find weight loss easy at all in this last and final time of my weight loss journey. I think it’s because my weight loss is sooooo excruciatingly slow, at an average of .25# week, there is just NO honeymoon at all.... 15 years ago I did have a “honeymoon” stage but I didn’t keep it off I gained it all back and MORE ...
• The frustration stage - when weight loss becomes so hard and we wonder where the spark went ...
I’ve never had this stage either, and to be frustrated, well, I’d be frustrated ALL the time, I’m too easy going for that, I just keep on keeping on ... One day at a tiime one foot in front of the other on the :tread:
• The tentative acceptance stage – The lifestyle change stage For me, at the moment, they are one and the same I’m always learning, I have slipups, but I am also confident that I will never gain it back again...

For the moment, this is all I will post... I have some catching up to do so TTFN :wave:...

Deelighted4Ever
01-10-2005, 10:23 PM
#3 & #4 are myths?

I have accepted that I will have to be an exercise freak and eat around 1200 calories a day for the rest of my life. I have discovered that if I back off even a little I gain. I really really am ok with the exercise part of it. I've discovered running and it is something I'm passionate about.

Everyone is different I guess. I know some people are able to maintain there weight at around 2000 calories a day...unfortunately I'm not one of them.

Like Karynlee, I just knew that this time I was going to lose weight. Oddly enough my epiphany happened around the same time hers did...though I don't remember the exact day.

I am living proof that #1 and #2 are myths :)

Sweater Girl
01-10-2005, 10:26 PM
My basic weight loss, the 90+lbs I lost on Weight Watchers were ALL in the Honeymoon stage for me. Asides from a "frustrating" 4 weeks when I went on the pill, my weight loss was smoooooothh sailing.

I think part of my problem in recent years is that I wanted a lifestyle that was forever in the "honeymoon" stage, rather than the real life stage. When I gained even 5lbs, I was desperate to get that spark back.... I tried other plans, exercise regimes etc... None worked... The fact was, I was no longer anywhere close to where I was when I started losing weight.

I am slowly learning that hey, eating well can involve mistakes... It's no longer glamourous or a means to an end. It's a life time thing... I just gotta keep trucking away at it.

I have the tools to lose weight and I do believe I can keep this off for life.

Cheers!

Ali

jansan
01-10-2005, 10:43 PM
Very nice summary Meg, good work. Lots of work! Thin for Life is one of my favorite books and one of the more helpful in making me fact the hard facts to actually lose weight.

Meg's questions:
Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?

*** For the first time about two years ago I truly came to believe I would lose and keep my weight off. I saw a fellow tennis player and the thought I indeed was going to be like her just came into my mind, and I knew it was true. Too bad some life problems got in the way, but now that I am back to losing, I am still convinced of it. I never felt that way before. I dont know what I felt, but it wasnt this. It wasnt a 'click', but it is different.

Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?

*** Absolutely. 95% failure rate means one in 20 can. That is me. I got tools now I never had before.

How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?

*** I think its essential. Perhaps not as much in the beginning, but over time as you approach your goal you can grow into the belief. The important thing is to start, then make whatever mental and physical adjustments as you go.

What does maintenance mean to you?

*** Remaining within a weight range that feels good, and is relatively comfortable to maintain, though I expect it to not be easy. I dont know what that final weight will be yet, and it might take some tinkering to figure out what it is. It will be an adventure. And a relief to finally make it 'there' after all these years.

Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?

*** You betcha, though not really. I dont follow a diet, dont keep track of grams or calories or points, though I sometimes will make a loose mental count of cals to keep relative track. I understand nutrition basics and follow good low-fat scratch cooking techniques, and do know what I am eating more than it might seem. I do keep a fairly tight reign on my food and portions. Its still calories in, calories out in a different form. If wl stalls, I will resort to a food journal or other means to tighten the ship but not until necessary. I like to read what others are doing and steal good ideas from them, Thank You Ladies, but in the end I usually do exactly what I want with my food/eating (with good health as the eventual goal) no matter what anyone else says or thinks. I know myself better than anyone else. I eat what I want, but I allow how my body feels to tell me what that is, and because I am choosing to lose weight, I freely choose to not eat certain things. In other words, I only now eat what makes me feel good physically and I also strive for satisfaction. If I have a specific craving for something I have it in moderation.

Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?

*** I have only come recently to the belief that this is a life-time change. I knew this intellectually before, but never accepted or believed it for myself. I was either on or off program. Now its just 'eating' light day in, day out, week after week. If I slip, and I do, the very next meal is back to 'light'. I however do prefer to keep myself reved up in the Honeymoon stage with high motivation because its easier to keep eating less in order to lose when the senses run high and the scale gives back something good. Because I lose slowly, and I am getting older (60) time is a factor. I motivate myself currently with 'new' inexpensive clothes from the thrift store, purchases smaller than I currently am, then try on, then wear them as I lose as victory presents. You should see the fancy things I wear around the house sometimes. I also use other gimmicks such as calendars and glittery stars, and anything else that works, even temporarily. Whatever works.

Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?

*** Yes, and yes. I think however Fletcher uses the term 'non-dieting' in this section of the book, more meaning 'size acceptance' rather than working on weight loss. There are non-dieting books such as 'Overcoming Overeating' (not recommended) and others that are size acceptance and do not advocate weight loss, and non-dieting books such as The Solution, Intuitive Eating, the Geneen Roth books, and more, where weight loss, improved emotional and physical health are the eventual goals. Fletcher also does not quite understand the basic concept of nd -- later in the book (TFL) she gives a rather extensive non-diet diet. That in itself negates the basic concept of no-dieting. If someone lists foods and tells you what to eat, even if they call it non-dieting, its a diet. The basic food concept of non-dieting is to decide before each meal what to eat based on what you want at that moment, not to have long-range pre-planned meals - unless that is your own choice.

Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyond your control predetermine your weight?

*** There is no doubt its more difficult for some than others. There are factors such as genetics that predispose one to have a certain musculature, metabolic rate, adipose distribution, and of course those elusive emotional factors, but in the end, I hold the fork.

Jan

lauraleigh
01-11-2005, 10:26 AM
First, let me say that my weight loss experience was not typical. I quickly lost weight with little effort when my husband deployed to Kuwait. I liked the results and wanted desperately to maintain, but I had learned nothing about myself or nutrition during the loss. I was probably very much like someone who lost weight on an all liquid diet or through illness and then had to face the real world. It's been an interesting journey so far.

Do/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?

No, I thought it was temporary and that I would eventually gain it back when my husband returned, or I felt less stressed.

Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?

Ann Fletcher's book and the Maintainer's forum have really helped me believe that I can do this and that it will get easier.

How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?

Crucial. This was so important to me. For months after losing my wieght, I would not buy new clothes, because I was sure the experts were right. I treated myslef to cosmetics, lingerie, or shoes -- things that made me feel good about myself, but that I could still enjoy if I gained my weight back.

Two things really helped me. First, I have a good friend who is very careful about her diet and exercise. I expressed my fears to her. She had been extremely complimentary of the "new me," and immediately responded "oh no, I think you will keep it off!" I had never heard anyone be so sure about maintaining weight loss. Her faith in me really got me thinking. I bought some new and expensive work clothes shortly thereafter.

When my husband returned from 8 months overseas, I had some set backs. But, due to the new clothes and how pleased I was with my appearance, I was determined to maintain the loss. I was feeling sorry for myself, because it seemed I couldn't eat anything without gaining weight. I needed to know that others were successfully dealing with the feelings of frustration, deprivation, and hunger that I suddenly felt. Through a Washington Post "Lean Plate Club" column, I learned about the Calorie Restriction Society. These were mostly middle-aged male scientists living on anywhere from 1300 to 2000 calories per day while maintaining optimal nutrition. They had been doing this very long term. Reading about their experiences gave me a huge boost. They were maintaining lean body weights for years with little feelings of deprivation and their needs were certainly greater than mine. (I'm a 5'2" female after all.) Reading their daily posts taught me a lot about nutrition and got me through a very difficult transitional period. The very existence of that group and their documented success motivated me to continue my efforts.

Now, I am so glad to have this group of successful maintainers and to have Anne Fletcher's book. I wish I had known about both a year ago!

What does maintenance mean to you?Being able to wear the clothes that I bought after I lost weight.

Do you/did you "break the rules" of weight loss?

I broke lots of rules. I ate too few calories and I did not eat nutritious food or regular meals. I went out with friends and drank and danced a lot. I did a lot of cardio, but no strength training. My "diet" could have been called the mocha latte, bugles, and beer diet.

Now, I follow a lot more diet rules. I started strength training last spring. I keep records of what I eat. I mostly follow the Zone or Body for Life approach. I have learned to cook low-fat meals and to enjoy the taste plain vegetables. I have struggled to get my metabolism revved since losing the weight. I would advise anyone to improve their diet before losing weight. It certainly makes maintenance much easier!

Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? I guess that I am in the tentative acceptance going on life-long commitment stage. I definitely felt euphoric when I was losing the weight and seeing such positive changes in my appearance and in the way people treated me.

Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?
I didn't really try, but that's how it worked out.

Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyone your control predetermine your weight?
I now believe that I can control my weight. In the beginning of maintenance, when I was trying to reintroduce more normal eating patterns, it seemed that my body was working against me. I felt that my body wnated desperately to retrun to its former weight. I carefully recorded my intake and knew that I was eating enough (maybe too much!), but my hunger was raging. Worst of all, my energy level was extremely low. I could barely drag my self out to do exercise that I had enjoyed. It seemed that something (leptin, cortisol, set-point, etc.) was working to sabotage me. I felt frustrated and helpless. Cutting back on grains, adding more lean protein, and eating even more fruits and vegetables seemed to satisfy my hunger better and allow me to maintain more comfortably. I now think it is a matter of being informed about nutrition, keeping hones records, and finding an eating and exercise pattern that works for me.

Thanks for all your hard work Meg! I have really enjoyed Ann Fletcher's book and reading about the experiences of other maintainers!

dollar
01-11-2005, 12:18 PM
Hi I think this is a wondeful thrread and as of now I have not read the book but after reading everything here I think it will be next on my purchase list. Feb 2002 was the year that as some of you said I knew I could do it this time. The honeymoon stage went on for months as the wt just seemed to fall of even my doctor was concerned and asked when I was going to stop he actually increased my goal wt by 20lbs after he was the one to set it at 165. Did I reach my goal of 185 yes I did, have I managed to maintain it sadly I must say no, I have regained 30 lbs but am on the road again to losing it.
Yes I made mistakes, my main one being forgetting everything I learned about not giving in to stressful situations and not eating the food just for the sake of eating it. I know this is a life style change, I did not go back to all the bad habits but I do live in fear these days about that. In the past week or so the feeling that I can do this for life is starting to resurface I loved the way I looked after losing all my wt and right now I'm not so happy with myself but I am determined to get that back.
Once I get the book and start reading it I believe this will be the place for me to be. Is this book available anywhere and can I get it in Canada.
Thanks for your help after reading the posts here today I feel even more determined to succeed.

talks2flowers
01-11-2005, 02:24 PM
Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?
Well, this is my 3rd time around losing the same 40-50 pounds so I knew I could lose weight rather easily. This time around, though, I didn't really have to struggle. It was all the honeymoon phase, all the way through. I found that the weekly results from the scale really motivated me to keep going. I think the two things that kept the results positive all the way through were: exercising for the first time in my life and the fact that I now live alone so there is no one to lead me astray!
Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?
This time around, I find that rather than having been on a 'diet', I've changed my life style. With previous WL attempts, my method of losing was that I substituted low fat for full fat and smaller portions for larger portions. I did not change my actions (never exercised) nor did I change my eating habits but just modified them. The inevitable happened and I reverted to my old habits and back came the pounds.
The pounds will stay off this time because I've changed my lifestyle completely. I exercise regularly, both at the gym and at home. If I don't go, I miss it. I eat differently. I don't 'do' fast food. I eat grains, lean meat, and lots and lots of fruit and veggies. I drink lots of water. Now I find myself craving a bowl of salad instead of a bowl of chips. If I eat something with high fat or too many carbs, I feel physically uncomfortable.
How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?
Believing that this is a permanent weight loss is very important. It allows me to say yes every once in a while to a chocolate or chip but to say no most of the time. It has really helped me to deal with the "all or nothing" mentality that made me gain the weight back every other time.
What does maintenance mean to you?
Maintenance means making healthy choices most of the time. It means stepping on the scale every morning and it means cutting back if the numbers start to edge up or bulking up a little when the numbers start to drop off.
Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?
When I was losing, I was following WW flex points plan and journalling all of my food choices. As they introduced their new core plan, I thought to myself, this is the kind of food that I could eat for the rest of my life. I was afraid to change though, so I kept counting as if I were doing flex points but started eating almost entirely the foods from the core list. Since then, I've stopped counting and journalling. I just eat as many "unprocessed" foods as I can and it seems to be working well.
Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?
I think I pretty much went straight from the honeymoon stage of losing to the lifestyle change stage of maintenance, with perhaps a little tentative acceptance in between.
Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?
I guess it all depends on your definition of "non-dieting" but I don't like to think that I'm on a diet now.
Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyond your control predetermine your weight?
I think I believe that ultimately, I control those forces that predetermine my weight! Before I had my children, I had this metabolism to die for. I ate 5 or 6 full meals a day, maybe 5000 calories, and never, ever gained a pound. I was painfully thin. Then I had my two children and became a lot less active and the pounds started to roll on... and on.... losing weight and keeping it off was HARD! Now, I think because of the exercise and because of the types of food I eat, my metabolism has sped up. I'm finding that I need more food to maintain my weight than I did before. I have more energy than I have had for a great many years which adds to my willingness to be physically active.

Reg4242
01-11-2005, 05:17 PM
Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?
Yes, I was confident that I would reach a reasonable if not slim weight.
Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?
Yes, and I have for a long time.
How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?
Very, you have to believe to make it a reality. It is very difficult to maintain a weight loss and to realize you are making a lifetime commitment.
What does maintenance mean to you?
This is a hard one. To me it is not a constant. It is an ever evolving process with both ups and downs. So for me it is to ride out the tough times, and they do happen but to enjoy the good times because they are worth it.
Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?
Seems that when I do the result is not pretty.
Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?
Been through all of the stages, but they come and go. Right now fustrated stage.
Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?
No.
Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyond your control predetermine your weight?
Another hard one. I do my best but at time life gets in the way. Life is sometime beyond our control. Our reactions are so thats what keeps us going.

AnneWonders
01-11-2005, 05:34 PM
* Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?
* Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?
* How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?
* What does maintenance mean to you?

Well, maybe this sounds weird, but I didn't set out to lose weight, exactly. I knew I had an unhealthy relationship with food, and I knew I had to fix that. If I didn't, it would kill me eventually. I also knew that weight loss was a very likely, important, and desirable side effect of fixing that problem. I didn't have a weight-loss goal, still really don't have a weight goal, except in a nebulous healthy BMI sort of way. My ultimate goals were (and are) either health goals like cholesterol numbers or BMI, athletic in nature like running a marathon or learning to swim, or 'squishy' like feel or look good.

Having said that, I knew I could fix the problem, and that it would be a permanent change. That is basically what maintenance means to me. I will control all the factors I can, and within the additional contraints of genetics, environment, and my personal comfort level (what calorie deficit I can stand), my weight is gonna do what it's gonna do. Will my weight be the same at age 50? Maybe, maybe not. But for darn sure, I'm going to have a healthy (but surely not perfect) relationship with food and I'm going to be exercising!

* Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?

I am a counter example to every single one of the myths, except possibly the over 40 one since I'm 35 now. I pondered the 'exercise fanatic' one a bit before I said that, but when I figured it all up my average for 2004 was 1.1 hr/day. Yes, I work hard when I work, but I guard my rest days jealously to get the recovery necessary for athletic progress I need to make, and I had about 3-4 weeks of down time for illness/injury. I know most of you do at least that much as well, and I really don't think getting off my butt for an hour or two a day makes me a fanatic.

* Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?

I can go through all 4 in a matter of minutes. But I probably had a very long honeymoon phase that spoiled me. As I maintain for longer and longer, I am becoming more aware that there will be good times and bad times, hard/easy, accepting/outraged, confident/scared and that is all 'normal'. Easier to write down than to deal with, but hey, this is a discussion, right?

* Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?

'Non-dieting' was not successful for me. But on the other hand, I was only successful after I came to terms with the fact that I'm on a diet all the time, it might as well be a healthy one, and not a toxic or excessive one. I do create and follow a food plan, with some expectation that on occasion I must be flexible.

* Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyond your control predetermine your weight?

I control all the factors that determine my weight. I like Jan's 'I hold the fork' quote. But I also understand that my genetics, my history, and to some degree my environment determine what I have to work with. Obsessing about stuff I can't control is counterproductive for me. And maybe I'd love to be a size 4, but size 12 way way better than it was to be a size 24, and these are all just numbers anyway. I just ran a marathon, so size 12 must be good enough!

MichelleRae
01-11-2005, 09:03 PM
Hey everyone!! I almost forgot about the book discussion!! Cripes! I must have half-heimers (alzheimers for younguns ;) )

Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?
Yes I believe I can reach my goal, I don't just believe it I KNOW it! :)
Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?I know I will be able to keep my weight off. Along my journey I am learning lifelong lessons regarding food, weightloss, and exercise. I'm setting my limits and living by them.
How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?
I think it is very important to believe in permanent weight loss in order to acheive our weight loss goals. If we didn't believe our weight loss efforts would be permanent why try IMO?
What does maintenance mean to you?
To me maintenance means living a lifestyle thats healthy and by doing this, maintaining our weight.
Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?
yes I have broken out of those dieting myths, and I know I can do this!
Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?
I'm currently in the tenative acceptance stage, I haven't lost all my weight yet, I remember the honeymoon stage where I was losing quickly I felt that nothing would stop me! I remember the frustation stage, until recently I had been in the frustration period for a number of months some days I felt like giving up but I plugged along, Right now I'm beginning to accept that I can live like this I've stopped thinking of my plan as a diet but a way of life.
Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?
This is really the first time I've ever tried to lose weight, I've never been overweight until I had my children and my thyroid problems surfaced. When I was younger I always thought I was fat but what a joke that was LOL (5'4" and 120 lbs fat? What I wouldn't give....Ahhh those were the days ;) )
Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyond your control predetermine your weight?
I believe that I can control my weight, I am in control of my body only I can control what I put in my mouth and whether or not I exercise, this is a very important question to ask yourself when you start your weight loss journey.

Thanks for the great synopsis Meg! I can't believe I almost forgot about it!!
Hello to everyone else I look forward to getting to know you all through our book discussion!!

artmaker
01-12-2005, 05:43 PM
I would like to join in. Here are my responses to the questions:

:?: Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?

:) This time I really do believe it's possible. Why?.... "because"...as a mother would say..."because I say so" [grin]. No, truely, I believe I am ready. I have joined a gym, I am working with a trainer, I am going to study to be a trainer [not because I will be one, necessarily, but because it is a process that will help me on my path]. My attitude is appropriate. When I look in a mirror I don't see a fat person, I see the positives...the thighs that no longer glob out, the shoulder blades, the back muscles, the triceps, etc. My focus is on the positive, not the negative.

:?: Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?

:) I do believe it...I feel I am ready! Having the goal of getting in shape, going for creditation, whether I get it or not, will keep me on the right path. And I have the wonderful women here...Meg, Mel, Mrs. Jim, etc., to exemplify that it is possible.

:?: How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?

:) I think I am ready to believe in myself. I needed a bit of therapy, a bit of success, a bit of perserverence, and bit of encouragement...and like stone soup, the more I add to the mix, the richer and stronger my beliefs become.

:?: What does maintenance mean to you?

:dizzy: Don't know, never been there. I expect it will mean taking control, and not getting overwhelmed by the bumps in the road. Believing in my ability to control my impulses and recover when necessary. Being in a healthy state bodily and emotionally.

:?: Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?

:) Not sure what that means. I have been trying to stick to calorie counting, maintaining good sleep and exercise habits. Think that's pretty standard.

:?: Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?

:) I have yet to find it easy, so I don't think I am in any of the stages. Losing is tough for me, espec at age 62. My metabolism so far has been fighting me all the way.


:?: Do you believe that you control your weight?

:) Yes, I believe that how I feel about my life is crucial to my control...my emotional state is the key...if I feel good about who I am, what I am doing, and how I am proceeding in my life, with worthwhile goals, that I will succeed. Of course, outside factors can beat you down, but it is how you react to them that makes the difference. I am lucky in having a supportive family and great friends.

Susan

boiaby
01-12-2005, 06:28 PM
Thank you for the summary Meg! I don't have the book yet but I am on the waiting list to get it from the library. I hope it comes in soon, I'm really looking forward to reading it. Even though I have not read it yet, I would like to respond to the questions. Here goes:

Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?

This time I did know I would reach my goal. Not sure why, just knew it.

Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?

I do believe that I can, and I am certain I will.

How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?

Very. Otherwise, what's the point? How do you continue to work towards a goal that you don't honestly believe is maintainable? You must believe.

What does maintenance mean to you?

Maintenance=healthy body/mind. Maintaining for me is staying within my preset, acceptable weight range and comfortably fitting in my current size clothes.

Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?

Hmmm, good question. I did it on my own, but that's not uncommon. I lost more quickly that you're supposed to, so I quess that counts. I haven't regained any weight which seems to be expected from all the "experts", so maybe I am a rule breaker! ;)

Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?

I have fully experienced all four and I am certain that I am now in the lifestyle change stage. I know what works for me and what doesn't and I am confident that I have the knowledge and desire needed to never again live that miserable life.

Do you believe that you control your weight?

Absolutely. My genes may pre-determine my body type and build, but I have complete control over how much or little I weigh.

Beverly

WaterRat
01-12-2005, 07:42 PM
Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?
No, frankly I didn't. But I did, and even though I've regained a good percentage of it, I believe I can reach that goal again.

Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?
Yes. Because I know, after being honest with myself, why I regained. It's not pretty, and it makes me angry with myself, but I have worked through that (I think) and I'm slowly creeping down again.

How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?
It's not necessary to believe it to reach a goal weight. Lots of people do that without the belief in permanent weight loss. Keeping it off absolutely requires the belief.

What does maintenance mean to you?
It means doing whatever is necessary - eating right, exercising - to keep my body at my desired goal. In my case, this is a clothing size rather than an actual weight as I recognize that my weight varies in about a 5-8 lb range. But it also means maintaining a healthy lifestyle - which includes the above eating right and exercise, but also getting enough sleep, having a healthy marriage, and the like. Having experienced a much-too-close brush with death with my DH's cancer, we are both much more aware of how we want to live.

Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?
I am very familiar with frustration, and spend much of my weight loss life there! Acceptance is familiar. Never had much of a honeymoon period.

Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?
In short, yes, no. I surely was not in touch with my satisfaction level. I needed, and still need, to be mentally aware of portion size and nutritional info.

Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyond your control predetermine your weight?
Oh I wish it were the aliens who controlled it! I KNOW that's it me that's in charge, but if someone else will take responsibility, they can have it!! :lol:

Thanks for the synopsis Meg. I'm enjoying hearing everyone's responses.

ellis
01-13-2005, 11:07 AM
But maintenance is not just reaching your weight goal. As weight-maintenance expert Michael G. Perri, PhD, of the University of Florida, stresses: “Maintenance means much more than weight maintenance. It includes the maintenance of other healthy lifestyle behaviors, such as healthy eating patterns, exercise, reducing stress, keeping healthy relationships, and more.”
:yes: That's where it's all at for me, Meg. In particular, reducing stress.
As someone who suffers from what can sometimes be debilitating depression, I know that living a healthy, well-organized life can be so important.
This past year I've had to deal with a complete kitchen renovation and the loss of my Dad, as well as the usual, everyday "family stuff".
When my house is organized, I'm less stressed. I have space to spread out my cookbooks, balance my cheque book, and I don't have to search for my exercise equipment under mounds of laundry.
I cook healthier food, my family is happier, we communicate better, and mentally, I feel "clean".
Living with a "gutted" kitchen for the past few months has put me in a real spin. We've been eating a lot of convenience foods, and because the mess of the kitchen has taken over much of the rest of our house and caused me HUGE AMOUNTS OF STRESS, I've been using food as my "comfort". It's my worst vice (as it is for most of us here).
Over the years, food + a good book has come to mean a quick and easy "escape" from dark periods of depression. I KNOW that exercise would improve my mood, but it's too hard. When you're trying to climb out of what seems a bottomless pit, you reach for the closest rope. It's easier to open the fridge than to summon up the energy to "pull yourself together" to put on sweats and runnings shoes. :(
Anyhow, to sum up... :lol: ... for me, being organized = being in control = feeling good about myself = a better propensity for losing weight

Meg, thanks for all the work you're putting into this thread... it's awesome!! :hat:

SeeCat
01-13-2005, 01:16 PM
Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?
I believe it, but I also understand that it will take some time. I guess if I did not believe that I could do it I never would have started.

Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?
Absolutely. I know that it will be hard work, but all big changes are difficult.

How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?
I think that it is important because it is the incentive to try. If I thought that all of this work was just to touch base at goal and then end up back where I started I do not know if I could go through all of this.

What does maintenance mean to you?
I guess I think of weight loss as just training for maintinance, and maintinance as the real deal. If I can develop good habits now I will be prepared to maintain them for the rest of my life. And especially in light of the information form the post about metabolism after achieving goal, I know that this weight loss stuff is not the hardest part, the hardest part is maintaining those habits.

Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?
Not really. I am pretty regimented. I suppose when I have transitioned from rules to habits I will start breaking some rules.

Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?
I was in honeymoon for the first 25 pounds and now I am starting to move into frustration, which I suppose is a necessary part of the process.

Do you believe that you control your weight?
Absolutely. Calories in/calories out. I know that I was eating crap and eating too much and that is why I gained weight. I know that I am now eating well adn eating less and that is why I am losing weight. There is nothing magical about it and I work hard every day, but I am the one who is driving the bus here and I can make or break my weight loss journey at any time. The decision to eat something really bad may not be entirely conscious, but the decision not to eat it is very deliberate and either way the choice is all mine.

Meg
01-13-2005, 02:24 PM
Oh Ellis - I SO know what you mean about escaping into food and a good book! I was an avid reader as a kid (still am) and my favorite thing to do was read and mindlessly eat. Total escape. It's a tough connection to break, I know. Reading and eating at night after the kids went to bed was my reward for a hard day and I had to give up the reading for a while and just go to bed early in order to break that connection. Now I can read in bed without eating, but I still get those mindless munchie cravings while I'm reading ... no answers, just letting you know I'm a soul sister. :)

ellis
01-13-2005, 04:08 PM
... just letting you know I'm a soul sister. :)
I SO know that, Meg. :grouphug: Thanks, sweetie.

Mrs. P
01-13-2005, 04:20 PM
I just discovered this thread and I am very excited. I am going to buy the book tonight. 16 months ago I was 205 and then went down to 155. As of today I am back up to 170 and realize I need to do something. I think reading this book and then spending the next 10 weeks with you analyzing each chapter is just what I need to get motivated to get back down to 155.

Meg
01-13-2005, 05:52 PM
Welcome Mrs. P! :wave: It sounds like you found us at the right time. :) We'd love to have you (and anyone) join our group. Take some time and poke around the rest of the Maintainers Forum - we have lots of good info and threads about maintenance and how to deal with weight rebound.

We're glad you're here!

ellis
01-13-2005, 10:18 PM
Welcome, Mrs. P! :wave:

mette
01-15-2005, 01:24 PM
I mostly lurk in the Maintainer forum because I’m not a maintainer for life yet - still just doing it short-term and maintaining weight loss for limited periods of time in between periods of weight loss.

Reading this discussion, I like that so many of you believed you would reach goal weight this time. It’s about understanding that this time you’ve found the right tools to do it, isn’t it? It took me a really long time and many ups and downs to get to this point, but this time I know I’m getting there – it’s just going take a very long time. I am the slowest loser ever: getting rid of the excess weight is going to take years and years (lost 35lbs in 2002, lost 25lbs in 2004, long periods of maintenance in between, planning on losing maybe 20lbs this summer, then a new period of maintenance).

ellis – hi! :wave: – I’m so with you on the “food + book = comfort and escape”. The change to “book + tea” or “book in itself” = “just as comforting” works sometimes, but not always… ;)

The whole “accepting the realities of weight loss and weight loss maintenance (= hard work, commitment, rest of my life, etc etc)” is hard for me – so the part that struck me the most in chapter one was the “If you’re fat, it may not be your fault – but that doesn’t mean you can’t do something about it” section. I need to constantly remind myself that it’s the tendency for obesity that is inherited – not the obesity in it self. Quote (page21): “providing an environment of low-fat foods and increased physical activity can stifle even the most stubborn genes”. It’s possible for me to control my environment – I can learn how to do that. I have this tendency of sliding into a mode of helplessness and hopelessness when it comes to weight loss – so learning how to control it, how to learn tools, how to succeed is necessary.

glynne
01-15-2005, 03:43 PM
I am having a hard time to believe that I can actually lose the weight let alone keep it off. I guess because I have never succeeded at it yet. I have been battling this almost my whole adult life ~ only to go up and up and up. A couple years ago, I had gotten almost 1/2 way to goal, then messed up and put it all back on. It is especially hard to believe now because of not being able to exercise and that is so esential for me to lose the weight. I can not get a mental picture of myself as a thin person. I am hoping that even though I am struggling with this key, that somehow I can still lose the weight ~ I need to so badly, I want to also.

Meg
01-16-2005, 11:32 AM
Wow! Great thoughts and insights, gang! :D

In my heart, I really didn't believe that I was going to be successful this last time that I went on a diet. I WANTED it more than anything, but I had such a track record of failure that I would have been :crazy: to expect anything else (sounds like you, Glynne ;) ). So I guess I'm a classic 'fake it until you make it' person - l acted like I expected success and did everything right but never focused on getting to goal. It just seemed SO out of reach when I started.

So I have to disagree with Anne Fletcher that you have to believe that you can be thin for life in order to get there. I'm not even sure that I believe it now, but it's not going to stop me from trying.

About the weight loss phases - to be honest, I don't qualify for the 'lifestyle' phase of weight loss yet, so I guess it's still 'tentative acceptance'. I still mess up too darn much with eating to qualify for lifestyle status. :o I guess the important part is that I get right back on track and a little slip isn't going to hurt me in the long run. And thankfully I'm superconsistent with exercise.

We'll start Key To Success #2: Take The Reins tomorrow, but anyone should feel free to continue to comment about Key #1 in this thread. :)

Only Me
01-16-2005, 11:56 AM
I can not get a mental picture of myself as a thin person. I am hoping that even though I am struggling with this key, that somehow I can still lose the weight ~ I need to so badly, I want to also.

Glynne, I still don't really have a mental picture of myself as a thin person. I have to try clothing on based on size because if I pick out what I think I'll fit into, I'll end up with something at least a couple of sizes too big. I also have to remember to bring both the size number I think I need and one smaller into the dressing room with me or I end up with the wrong size again. On the other hand, I do believe that I can maintain my current weight if I work at it. My mental image of myself is slowly starting to change now, but much more slowly than I lost the weight in the first place!

Ilene
01-16-2005, 03:38 PM
AHEM, Miss Megster I beg to differ... you said:

About the weight loss phases - to be honest, I don't qualify for the 'lifestyle' phase of weight loss yet, so I guess it's still 'tentative acceptance'. I still mess up too darn much with eating to qualify for lifestyle status.

Meg I can't believe I am hearing that from you! :nono: You don't think you are at the "lifestyle" phase even if you screw up? We're not perfect in anything we do whether it be raising kids or food choices ..."Lifestyle" does not equal "perfection"....

Maybe you're saying that you haven't accepted that you can live this lifestyle? We can't live it to perfection, that's a fact, life just gets in the way, KWIM? But the next day we are back at it no matter what and to me THAT is the "lifestyle phase"...

Ok, off the :soap: ... back in my shell....;)

Meg
01-16-2005, 04:01 PM
STAY OUT OF THAT SHELL, MISSY! :coach: :lol: The more Ilene, the merrier, as far as I'm concerned! :D :D :D

Here's what was going through my mind when I wrote what I did ... For sure I know it's a lifestyle and it's forever and I'm just fine with that - as a matter of fact, I love the way I live now and would never go back. I can easily do this forever and am sure I will. BUT ... Anne Fletcher defined the last phase of weight loss - that lifestyle change - as food becoming less of an emotional issue and being able to handle life without turning to food. I'm not there yet and don't know if I ever will be. On the one hand, I'm infinitely better than I used to be but I'm still so far from perfect that it isn't even funny. I'm NOT cured of my eating issues - I just manage them a lot better. So I just don't feel like I fit her definition of lifestyle change.

Heck, Ilene, I know I'll never be perfect in anything that I do! And the way you and I define it, this is a lifestyle for me. I just didn't think I matched what's in the book.

And what's this about a shell, hmmm?

ellis
01-16-2005, 04:03 PM
That's an interesting question, Ilene... "What does "lifestyle" mean to you?"
I think I've always thought of it (in terms of eating) as a way of life that comes easily... without having to think about it.
I know that at one point in my life (late teens, early 20s), my eating habits weren't an issue for me. I ate in a fairly healthy manner, exercised because I enjoyed it, and was of a good weight.
Now (post children, major depressive episodes, life...), I'm involved in a very unhealthy lifestyle. It's become a habit for me to eat badly and curl up in bed.
I like the idea of being the way I once was, without having to "think" about what I'm doing, but I suspect it's going to be a struggle for me for a long time. Possibly even the rest of my life. :(
I don't know... if something is a constant struggle... is it a "lifestyle"? I suppose it is, but it seems like a mighty ugly one. :lol:
As for raising kids... that sure doesn't come easily, either! :lol3:

Hey, Mette! :wave: We miss you in Alternachicks!

Glynne and Only Me, I'm the opposite. I still think of myself as "slim". I used to buy clothes without having to try them on... everything and anything fit me. :( Now I'm still shocked when I see myself in a mirror or window reflection. I can't BELIEVE it's me! :yikes: I still buy clothes without trying them on (stupid!), and when I get them home, they're often too small, because that's the size I see myself as.

Meg
01-16-2005, 04:17 PM
I don't know... if something is a constant struggle... is it a "lifestyle"? I suppose it is, but it seems like a mighty ugly one. You know, that might be the million-dollar question since we hear the phrase 'it has to become a lifestyle' tossed around all over the place. If you have to force yourself - if you aren't enjoying it - is it a lifestyle?

For me, changing my life was VERY uncomfortable at first. I liked how I used to live (in a world of books and cookies) - I just didn't like the results (being obese). When I changed my life, exercising was so hard and I missed all my old comfort foods. It all was weird and alien and unpleasant. But Mel said something that turned out to be true for me: If you love the results, learn to love the process. And I did love the almost immediate results of losing weight - energy, smaller sizes etc. So I learned to love the process because it got me to where I wanted to go.

Now I genuinely like the way I live my life. I don't know if it's simply because I love the result or whether I really like going out into the dark at 6 AM to do cardio :dizzy: ... but after almost four years, it's become a lifestyle that I love and feel comfortable in.

You know how they talk about fake it until you make it? That might be what you have to do in the beginning ... what does everyone else think?

Ilene
01-16-2005, 05:22 PM
DANG IT!!! :mad: I just lost a semi-long :censored: post !!! ARGH !!!

Here goes again!

Meg I remember when Mel said that too: If you love the results, learn to love the process. I OFTEN think about this saying when I'm running and I don't feel like going further....


Ellis said:
I think I've always thought of it (in terms of eating) as a way of life that comes easily... without having to think about it.
Karen/MrsJim always says : " It gets easier with time..." I am finding it easier than last year or 2 years ago OR 10 years ago... My thinking of food has shifted 360 degrees, that's a fact... But when does it all end tho ? When does it become a non issue ? Maybe like SusanB says : " 'I get to work out tomorrow because work just called and I don't have to go!' " I really like that one ... and I know that sometimes I am definitely at that point , exercise wise anyways... for example this morning I called my g/f, I just had this gut feeling she was going to drop by when I wasn't here, sure 'nuf she was going to drop in just at 11 o'clock when I was leaving... I bluntly said , sorry I'm off to the gym ... from the "OH ? :?: " on the other end of the line I could tell she was disappointed... BUT I was determined to get my workout in early, because 11am, was already getting a little late... When it comes to food it's still a struggle at times, but easier than it has ever been

Ellis I am the opposite of you, when I was a teen I was obcessed with food and my body image, it was very distorted also very negative... I used alot of negative self talk back then when looking in the mirror, which I rarely, if ever, do now...

Funny how distorted our views of ourselves are... When was a size 14 I thought I looked like an 8, now that I'm at an 8 I think I look like a 14 :rolleyes: .... Go figure ! I guess I have to give the size 8 time to sink in ... or a 6 for that matter ... I looked at a size 6 pants last week thinking "no way" do I fit my butt in those they looked so small on the rack, when I took them in the change room they easily slid over my hips, but I just felt they were too snug and I didn't like the style... Time I guess all in good time...

Well I have to get going I hear DH getting supper ready I have to make sure it's health conscious... TTFN...:wave:....

This has been a great discussion BTW...

Mel
01-16-2005, 06:03 PM
Did I say that? :lol:
I haven't chimed in yet because I found that my experiences ran counter to just about everything that is listed as a key to success in the TFL book. So much for my success. I'm still trying to puzzle it out.

Like Meg, I didn't really believe that I would be successful at either losing a significant amount of weight or keeping it off. I didn't even have a goal. I had no mental image of myself as a thin person, but like Ilene, I really didn't have an image of myself as a fat person either. I just didn't look. About the only thing I had going for me is that I've always been active since I was about 12 years old, and even when heavy I spent a lot of time exercising. I was more surprised than anyone that I actually succeeded in losing weight, and the only way that I did it was by suspending disbelief and past experience, forcing behavioral changes without too much self-examination.

Maintenance is exactly the same. It's a lifestyle in the sense that I do it every minute of every day, but I think about it all the time. The day I stop thinking about is when I will fail. So in that sense, I'm not in the "acceptance" phase. What I have accepted is that I love the result, so I will live the process. Karen says it gets easier, but I find that it's exactly the same. Day in and day out.

I've had food issues/obsessions since I was 12, ranging from anorexia to bulemia, periods of a more relaxed attitude towards food when I just got fat, and for the last almost 4 years, a very structured relationship with food. This is what works for me: it's a very behavioral approach. I'm certainly not perfect either...but I have learned that slips are not the end, that it is possible to close the jar or the cabinet door, forgive myself and start again right away.

So that was a longwinded answer to the question "Do you need to believe?"
Nope, I don't think so. You just need to do it.

Mel

ellis
01-16-2005, 08:37 PM
This is such a fascinating topic.

Ilene, that is wonderful that you told your friend you were going to the gym. That's putting yourself first! (I'd probably do the same thing, but for an entirely different reason... I'm anti-social! :lol3: )

"Fake it 'til you make it." :yes: Yes, I can relate to that, Meg.
And Mel's, "You just need to do it!"

I ran for about 10 years when I was in my teens/early 20s. I loved running. I think I was probably a bit masochistic about it. It hurt, but at the same time, I felt euphoric.
I know it's something I'll do again once I've dropped 30 or 40 pounds. I feel "cool" when I run. :smoking: I feel like I belong to some little private "club" as a runner. I know a lot of people who run, but they're not all "runners", if you know what I mean. They don't "get it". That little secret "something".
For about 30 years, I've seen and waved to the same man running along the road near where I grew up. He must be in his 80s now. I've seen him shopping a few times, and he can barely walk now. He positively totters. But when he runs, he flies. There's joy there.

For me, the whole exercise/diet thing is a real head-game. I feel fabulous after a workout. I feel slimmer, more energetic, and mentally clear.
So why is it that the following day I can't REMEMBER that feeling!? All I can think of is, "It's too much work."
Why is it that when I eat a huge meal and feel terrible afterwards, I "forget" that bloated sense of discomfort, and do it again?!
And why is it that when I stay OP for a few days and drop a couple of pounds, I think, "Now I can really chow down!"?
It's as though I'm still a child... when am I going to "grow up"? :?:

Meg
01-16-2005, 08:57 PM
Ellis, you're so right - the whole diet and exercise thing - the whole weight loss thing - is totally a head game. I'm convinced that 98% of weight loss happens in our heads, not our bodies. It's not about growing up - these are issues that a lot of us will probably always struggle with, you know. No one ever said that this is easy (OK, except for the charlatans selling diet books and pills, but they don't count :lol: )

Why not go ahead and run tomorrow? I don't think you're too big to run now. Sure it might only be for 30 seconds at first, but why not try? You could build a little every day ... and get that runner's high back again. You probably think I'm :crazy: ... but why not? You love it, obviously, and it's awesome cardio. Running might help you get that head integrated back into your body and make them work together, not as enemies. :)

Ilene
01-16-2005, 10:15 PM
So why is it that the following day I can't REMEMBER that feeling!?

Oh Ellis, you hit home with me there!! I'm the exact same way!! I worked really really hard to REMEMBER and eat THOUGHTFULLY -- bedore endulging during the holidays, sometimes the memories worked and other times it didn't *sigh*... On running: Ellis you should really try it again no matter what your weight just start slow... I'm hooked on that feeling and I always want to remember it ... I also love being in that "club" what a wonderful feeling that is :D .... I honestly felt selfish when I told my friend that I was going to the gym instead of having her visit, I honestly did...

4rabbit
01-17-2005, 06:12 AM
Hi Ellis,

About 8 months ago i started excercising, was very out of shape too, and I just ran a small bit, then walked, ran again, walked again. This at first for all of 5 minutes. As an athletic prestation it was laughable because my 9 year old daughter could easily keep up with me on her bike. But it got me moving whcih is the only thing that counts, and now after 8 months I notice I can keep up the cardio for 70 minutes.

So just starting is enopugh, and if you keepup at it it gets a bit better everyday.Just focus on the process, not the results and you will get there.

good luck
rabbit

ellis
01-17-2005, 09:01 AM
Thank you so much, Meg, Ilene and Rabbit... you've inspired me! I'm going to try it today.
I'm not coming back until I've done it, so if you never see me again... :lol3:
And Rabbit... congratulations on your achievement with the cardio! :hat:

Meg
01-17-2005, 09:04 AM
GO ELLIS GO!!!!

We're all cheering for you! And we'll all be here waiting for a report. :hyper:

ellis
01-20-2005, 12:48 PM
Ah... here I am. You've all been hovering over my head, and I finally got on the treadmill this morning. :lol:
I did 15 minutes, including a 3 minute and a 2 minute run!! I feel GREAT!!!
Thanks for inspiring me to start, girls!! :grouphug:

Meg
01-20-2005, 12:56 PM
:high: This is the beginning of something really good, Ellis, I just know it!

Ultimategurrl79
03-21-2006, 07:26 PM
Hello all. I'm reading all your responses to this thread and first off - I haven't read the book, but it's now definately on my to buy list.
And i'd really love to join this discussion.

now - as far as these questions go...first off a little about me - i am currently 16 pounds over my lowest weight of 160 - and my total weight loss was 60 (now 44) from my highest weight of 220. i honestly DO KNOW that i AM a success because of the fact that I not only lost 60 pounds and maintained that for 6 months - but, even though i DID gain back 20 (and have since lost 4) - the fact is, i did NOT gain back ALL 60. now - those questions.

Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?
When I started for the first time - back in January of 2002 - yes I did believe that I could do it. I started weight watchers for the very first time in January and by August I got down to 180. My goal was then and always has been 160. The thing is, when I was in high school, I went down from 220 to 150 and so of course i believed I could do it - HOWEVER...come August of 2002 - I got cocky and backslid and a year later - in September of 2003, i was back up to 205. I decided then and there THIS IS IT. NO MORE. and I got back on WW and dropped 45 more pounds to my goal of 160.


Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?
Absolutely! However...I know that I'm not like my thin friends. I WILL always and forever have to "diet" and "exercise" to keep my weight at the point that it needs to be. I CAN'T eat whatever I want whenever I want it. That's not to say, however, that I don't allow myself to indulge...BUT I also know that I can't indulge ALL the time - as proven by me gaining back 20 pounds. But at the same time, I know that I've done this twice now and the fact is I CAN lose this weight AND keep it off. The hard truth to face, however, is that I HAVE to constantly keep with this healthy lifestyle. I CAN'T become lazy.

How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?
For me, being thin and being HEALTHY is really who I want to identify myself with and who i want others to see me as. I know many people may say, "oh you need to not care about what other's think" - but the truth of the matter is. I do. Almost EVERYONE does. don't lie. truth be told...i LOVE showing people my before and after pics because it shows that I DO have the committment to do something that not a lot of people CAN do. Plus, too - I'm just not happy when I'm not at my lowest / goal weight. When I AM there - I AM happy.

What does maintenance mean to you?
Maintenance means continually striving to be as healthy as I possibly can. It also means allowing myself a slice of pizza and a beer every now and then - but also making sure I DO go to the gym 3 times a week and also making sure that I DON'T become lazy and get back into my old habits. When I DO have a weekend with my friends of too much alcohol & food - saying, "I had fun - it was yummy - but now it's time to get back on track". It also means NOT allowing myself to go to the vending machine every day or buying the worst foods in the cafeteria but reminding myself that while those foods may be "tasty" they really AREN'T healthy - and being HEALTHY is what maintaining the success I've come to achieve means.


Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?
I don't know - I really don't believe in "rules" of weight loss...because everyone is different and loses in different ways and needs to "create" their own healthy lifestyle rules.

Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?
I think I've definately had the "Honeymoon phase" - when I lost the first 60 pounds...(actually 40 from Sep 2003 to May 2004, but there was 20 from my highest in 2002)...
But I think I'm pretty much always in the tentative acceptance stage because my life pretty much is LIFE. I slip up - but I ALWAYS get back on track. yes, I've gained back 20 pounds - but I'm currently down 4 - AND in between the past year and a half I've gained and lost the same 10 pounds anyways...but that's just it - i ALWAYS go back down when I "slip up"


Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?
yes - when i was in high school, i wasn't dieting or anything - but I was in marching band and I ran during gym class and took my bike everywhere (had no license yet) and i ended up dropping 70 pounds...now, of course, back then i had NO clue that I could gain it back - and i got into college and decided i LOVED partying...and all those empty alcohol calories and LOADS of food...yeah. it ALL came back.

Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyond your control predetermine your weight?
It's all about me. I am the one who puts food into my mouth and I am also the ONLY one who can make myself go to the gym.

Jayde
04-13-2006, 11:31 PM
I just finished the book tonight (started last weekend).

I don't think I realized it before but I probably believed myth # 1 most of my life.

"Myth #1: If you’ve been overweight since childhood, it’s next to impossible to lose weight and keep it off."

Since I've always been not only overweight but very large boned... large feet, hands, all of that, I've always been told that my size is "just the way I am".

I wonder if there is a part of me that really believes this even now. Will that part of me have trouble accepting a slimmer me? Will my family? (not my husband and children, but my siblings, mother etc...)

If I am totally honest with myself.. I think this is an area I have to work out. Can I even imagine a smaller me for life?

Meg
06-06-2007, 09:40 AM
Test post for Susan. :)

srmb60
06-06-2007, 09:48 AM
I'm bumping and posting to bring this amazing book to everyone's attention.

I'm so agonizingly close again that I've been reading it again and lurking in Maintainers.

Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?

No, I thought I'd fail again. A few pounds and I was getting better. 10 lbs was truly motivating.

Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life?

After reading and learning so much about the commonly held (and dismal) expectations ... I feel obliged to succeed. I can imagine myself thin for life but that's not the same is it?

How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?

I believe that you can stumble a long blindly and have some success. I have a friend who lost 30 lbs years ago and still doesn't know what a protein is. But lasting thinness? I think you have to be very determinded and positive.

What does maintenance mean to you?

Apparently, a life time of vigilance. It has been so easy for me to backslide as much as 25 lbs ... all the while thinking I knew how to fix that.
I want it to mean a knowing control ... a lifetime of wisely chosing the best without distress.

Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss?

Yes. I eat junk. I do not exercise hard.

Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced?

I think I'm a doer-overer ... I remember several honeymoons. Just lately actually. I've dropped afew pounds and I'm bright and sparkly and into it ...
I'll have to think about that ... I don't remember where I set the book when I came in tonight.

Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?

Uh, no. Food is usually the easiest part for me. Intuitive eating is not.

Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyond your control predetermine your weight?

I was surprised to find how strong the genetic links are. And ashamed to think that mine are not bad. I'm afraid I've always been a self blamer. The fact that there may be other entities at work here has never been a serious thought of mine.

srmb60
06-06-2007, 09:55 AM
Thanks Meg ... I spent that bit of time considering the Stages ...

The honeymoon stage – when weight loss is oh so easy
The frustration stage - when weight loss becomes so hard and we wonder where the spark went
The tentative acceptance stage – when you learn how to live it but there are slipups
The lifestyle change stage – “they are confident that they’ll never gain the weight back and know what works and doesn’t work for them"

I've had snippets of them all and spend a lot of time wandering like a cement head in the tentative acceptance stage ... with back slides uh huh!

TriciaV
07-29-2013, 02:11 AM
I just ordered Thin for Life but was interested to see your discussion of it. I'm a mythbuster!

Myth #1: If you’ve been overweight since childhood, it’s next to impossible to lose weight and keep it off.
This is me! I was "the fat kid" in a family of 9!
Myth #2: If you’ve dieted and failed many times before, there’s little hope of ever licking your weight problem.
Also me. I lost 26 pounds doing body for life but then crashed and burned. Other than than I've never lost more than 6 pounds on a diet.
Myth #3: If you do succeed at losing weight and keeping it off, you’ll have to eat like a bird for the rest of your life.
I am looking for my final maintenance weight while eating 2,000 cal/day. That's one thing that bugs me about the NWCR, the 1,400 cal/day factoid gets reported over and over without the essential caveats that it's more like 1,700+
Myth #4: In order to lose weight and keep it off, you’ll have to become an exercise fanatic.
Well, how do you define fanatic? I am fanatic compared to my old super sedentary self.
Myth #5: It’s really hard to lose weight once you pass the age of 40.
I did it, and I was inspired by my mother and a recovery mentor who started in their 50's.
Myth #6: You can’t lose weight on your own, let alone maintain weight loss.
call Leonard Nimoy, baby, here we are. Though I do think modern tracking technology has been invaluable to me. I think I failed on book and magazine diets because they were so few calories I couldn't sustain them.
Myth #7: Diets don’t work – if you lose weight on a diet, you’re bound to gain it back.
Define diet. I tracked my food. I learned about the foods I eat most often. I don't look stuff up or do very much math.
Myth #8: If you hit a plateau while losing weight, there’s little hope of moving on. I didn't have a big plateau, though I did gain a little on vacation.
Myth #9: If you start regaining weight, you’re bound to gain it all back. I haven't seen this yet, but I'm still a noob.
Myth #10: If you don’t stay at your original goal weight, then you’re a failure.I plan to get muscular. If my bodyfat ratio improves, I'm okay with the scale going up.

Questions (feel free to offer questions and comments of your own):

Do you/did you believe that you could reach goal when you started your weight loss?
I actually started out just wanting to get out of the obese range back into being overweight. But when I saw it working, I started to believe I could have a normal BMI which everyone seems to think is crazy.
Do you believe that you can keep the weight off for life? If my mom can maintain for 13 years, starting at 57, I believe it's definitely possible.
How important do you think it is to believe that permanent weight loss is possible in order to achieve your goals?
I think it's huge. The right tools are also huge.
What does maintenance mean to you?
The weight my body gives me when I eat what I'm willing to and do what I'm willing to. Though that was kind of always true, I know a lot more know about how to guide what goes in and what I do.
Do you/did you ‘break the rules’ of weight loss? The Myths? Nearly all of them. I just need to do what I've done like 3 more times (maintain for 7 months)
Are you presently in one of the four stages of weight loss? How many have you experienced? I pretty much lost a pound a week consistently for a year which got me to a health BMI. Since then it's averaged a pound a month as I look for my maintenance weight (though I probably don't want to go under a BMI of 23. I think by sticking with a consistent, sustainable plan I avoided plateauing. I did find confidence in the lifestyle change about 10 months in.
Have you ever tried to lose weight by non-dieting? Was it successful?Nondiets led me astray for so long, I'm kind of bitter. Those systems only work insofar as they help you feel full on a calorie deficit. But they are designed to be a calorie deficit.
Do you believe that you control your weight or do you believe that forces beyond your control predetermine your weight?I control my weight by respecting the laws of nature. But I no longer believe I or most people were genetically predetermined to be fat. I do believe we weren't meant to have unlimited access to food year round and never use our legs. I see a new pressure to undiet from people who tell me my appetite won't lead me astray and I shouldn't weigh myself. I don't believe that's realistic either.