Support Groups - The Pact #2

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01-08-2005, 11:50 AM
Original Introduction (mette): We are 3 women who met in the "Buddy Up" forum, and we thought it was time for us to move our little group into "Support Groups". The 3 of us have recently made a pact to lift weights, eat right and lose weight. We want to do this together and support each other daily while doing this.

Together we have been trying to learn how to eat well and exercise well. We all want to lose weight, and we don't follow the exact same food and exercise programs either. But we all want to eat more balanced and healthier. And we all want to lift weights and become stronger.

We are also very friendly and welcome anybody who wants to join us in the pact to lift weights, eat right and lose weight!

2005 - It's a new year and a chance to continue with our pact and take a step closer to our goals. Please feel free to join us in the new year with our new resolve.

01-09-2005, 09:39 AM
Hi guys! :wave:
Ang, thanks for starting the new thread; the old one was really getting too big!

Hope you all are having good weekends, it's very quiet and slow here. Bad weather too: it hasnít stop raining at all today.

The guys at the maintainersí forum are going to discuss the book ďThin for LifeĒ by Anne Fletcher this month. In the book, she writes about people who have lost weight and kept it off for a long time (she calls them ďmastersĒ), and different strategies they use to lose weight and maintain the loss. So far I like the book, but Iíve only read the first two chapters Ė or ďkeys to successĒ. The first one is about the fact that you need to believe that youíre capable of getting and staying thin. The second one is about taking responsibility for having gotten fat, and then taking responsibility for getting and staying thin.
I find it a bit daunting how much work it actually is going to take to lose this weight and then to maintain the weight loss for the rest of my life. :^:

Like anything else - itís all about taking it a day at a time, huh??? ;)

01-09-2005, 03:53 PM
Hi there. :goodvibes

Weekdeds these days never seem to be as good as I'm hoping as I am trudging through the week. I am really hoping that it has more to do with winter than me so at least in a couple of months things should be better. Do either of you have trouble getting motivated to do things around the house? I'd just rather sit and watch television - but not really because I wish I wanted to be productive.

I did go to the grocery store today - my big accomplishment. The weather is not very good here either so that doesn't help with anything. I may be going to a friend's house tonight but don't really care if I do at this point. The roads are icy and it's cold.

What have you ladies been up to this weekend?

mette - would you recommend the book at this point? I need something to really get me thinking here so a good book might help if it actually says something 'new'.

I got a free two week membership to the YMCA since I took a tour there. I'm going to do it next week (friend in this week) and see if it is something that can work for me. Maybe it's the jump start my exercise program needs.

Today my bf looked through some old photo albums of mine that included a few pics of me. It was surprising to see how my appearance has changed even in the last 6 years. I didn't realize how much my weight fluctuated (or at least my size given changes in muscle at certain points). We were just talking about pictures - it is really amazing how unrealistic my body image is since I don't look at each day and glances are from a partial mirror mostly. Do you feel like your body image is realistic?

I'm off to try and motivate myself to do something today. mette - I'm in the one hour at a time mood.

01-10-2005, 11:38 AM
Morning ladies!

*yawwwn* I really miss those three day weekends already. Geez.
I did a lot of eating out this weekend, but had steak and mashed potatoes (which are not South Beach friendly, but screw that!) I just cut both the steak and potatoes in half, had it for dinner one night, and lunch the next day.

I even had half a milkshake, and when I weighed in this morning - I had finally dropped another pound!

My sister and I made it to the gym yesterday and I am enjoying the tight, sore feeling in my abs from the crunch machines. We didn't write anything down, since it was our first day back in months. We are going to try to go Weds and Suns for sure, and next time we go, I am going to start writing down exactly what I do. Then be really dorky and put it in a database so I can track it!

Breakfast this morning was Kashi Autumn Harvest (That stuff is so good.)
I have two clementines for my snacks.
Not sure about lunch or dinner yet, but oh well. :)

Just a quick pop in. I'll try and write back more later. Oh, need to subscribe to this new thread.

01-10-2005, 01:28 PM
Hello there - It is so hard to get going on Mondays, particularly when they are cold and dreary.

Congratulations Renne on the pound weight loss. Portion control is probably just as important, if not more so, than the actually choices you make. Also great that you got to the gym! btw - I'm all into databases and spreadsheets. At least you can monitor your progress.

I stepped on the scale last night (ok, shouldn't get on at night but...) and I was 200. I didn't dare step on this morning. The awful thing was I had had a big lunch so dinner was an orange. I thought my eating had gotten a little better in the last few days or so but the weight still keeps coming on. I know I need to exercise but I s hould be able to maintain by just not eating too badly. right? The 200 mark is really scary. Unfortunately getting depressed about it just makes me want to eat.

Breakfast this morning was cereal and lunch is a salad with chicken in it and an apple. I have a thing of string cheese for a protein snack later. Dinner will be chicken with cucumber/avocado salad and some butternut squash. DOe sit sound bad to you two?

Other than this work is going fine. I'm going to try and walk a little at lunch. What's up with you ladies?

01-10-2005, 04:15 PM
Happy Monday everybody! (It really doesnít feel like a happy Monday, but itís a chance it gets better by pretending Ė you know: fake it until you make it - so I'll just keep saying it! ;) )

A big ďouchĒ for the weighing Ang! It really isnít a good thing to go on the scale in the eveningÖ At least you know that you have no idea whether this number on the scale is realistic or just random. I think youíre doing the right thing today: eating light food (Your eating today sounds very good!) and getting some light exercise. And then you can go on the scale again tomorrow morning when youíre naked! Youíll probably get much better results! ;)
Wish you a good food day today!
Well both of you obviously Ė or all of us! :D

Iím not motivated to do things around the house either Ė and donít even have much to do Ė but I still prefer to watch stupid TV shows instead. I blame it on January these days; because everything outside is just wet, cold and dark! I want to sit under a blanket and drink tea!

Ang - Great news about the free membership at the YMCA Ė hope you enjoy it.
Renee Ė good for you going to the gym and getting sore! Yey! Itís so nice that you have your sister to go to the gym with Ė a buddy is very helpful and motivating!
Btw: I have spreadsheets monitoring my progress too! :D

Ang Ė from looking at old photos Ė do you find that you see yourself as bigger than you are in reality?
There arenít many photos of me from the last years, so I donít have many photos of me at my heaviest. But even now - 5 months after I stopped losing weight Ė I still havenít settled into my new size completely. It truly amazes me how slowly I get used to my size and body when they change.

01-10-2005, 04:50 PM
I'll join in on the fake it until you make it. :D

mette - what are you doing today? Are you under a blanket watching stupid t.v.? :lol: It's not even warm in my office today - the cold seems to zap motivation. Maybe it's a physical thing.

mette - would you mind sending a list of the exercises you do (divided by workout) at the gym? If you're using one of Krista's plans just tell me and I'll go look it up. I want to really get something out of this free membership (hopefully a real membership soon). I'm trying to see if bf is allowed to try it out free too since he was with me during the tour (they send the free invitation to people who tour the facilities but we only put my name down not knowing this fact).

When I really look at myself or pictures of me I am bigger than I 'feel' in my head. It's not that I don't think I am overweight, but I think I try to deny how awful I look and when I see the pictures there is no denying it. Maybe I should keep a picture around as motivation. It just gets depressing though. mette - In what ways does your size still surprise you? Is it when you look at yourself, move around, put on smaller clothes, etc. ? Renee - any luck on getting new pictures taken?

01-11-2005, 06:44 AM
Hi guys!

Ang, my exercise program looks like this:

Day 1:
Squats (squat rack + barbell): 8 reps x 3 series (I start with one warm-up series Ė using just the barbell before I start on the exercise)
Leg curls (machine): 8x3
Leg extensions (machine): 8x3
Shoulder press (dumbbells): 10x3

Day 2:
Bench press (bench + barbell): 8x3
Lat pull downs (machine): 8x3
Pulley (machine): 10x3
Tricep extensions (barbell): 8x3 (like this: Ė except I lie down on the bench)
Biceps curls (dumbbells): 7x3

Day 3:
Lounges (with dumbbells): 10x3 (
Upper back (machine): 8x3
Ab crunches (machine): 10x3
Lower back Hyperextensions (bench): 14+ x3 (I do as many as I can, 3 series) (
Side Raises (using the same bench as on the hyperextensions): 12+ x3 (same here: I do as many as I can Ė the bench I use is a little different; I can lie on the side and raise up using my side-muscles (or obliques! ;) )

Iím going to change the program again in February (after 3 months). This time I want to include deadlifts, try to do lounges with a barbell Ė and also biceps curls using the barbell instead of dumbbells. Plus exercises the instructor suggests.
Hope you get to take the bf with you!

Iím off to do nothing Ė possibly nap a little under my blanket! And maybe do some reading laterÖ Have a nice day everybody! :^:

01-11-2005, 12:13 PM
Hey gals.
Well yesterday flopped. My lunch started off bad and got worse! I ran out to get some Taco Bell, which is horrid in fat, but has less 'evil carbs'. On the way back to work, pulling down my street, I pick up a bolt and my tire starts going flat. I drop my food on my desk and head back out to get the tire patched, knowing full well that cold Taco Bell, is death incarnate. So on the way back the second time, already having used up my whole lunch hour, I pick up McDonalds. Bleh!!

I really really need to focus on not giving in to these poor choices, but there is SO little choice around here for lunches, and I can't do sammiches every day.

Groan, work just got busy, I'll be back....

01-11-2005, 12:47 PM
Renee: hope you have a better food day today!!!

Iím starting my hospital practice next week, and I have the same problem: I have to start bringing my own lunches, and I donít want to bring cheese sandwiches 4 days of the week for 16 weeks!
Maybe we should start figuring out how to make easy and tasty lunches? Make a collection of things we can bring for lunch?
Ang, what do you do for lunch? Do you bring it with you from home?

My day? Blanket and reruns of Gilmore Girls season 1 - and I don't even like that show! :lol:

01-11-2005, 03:09 PM
Thanks mette for posting your routines. It will help me devise a plan. I am all about plans and concrete goals. I plan to start next Monday (after my friend leaves). I'll let you know what happens.

Renee - how is your day going today? I hope everything went ok with getting your car fixed.

mette - you have the life. :lol: The first season wasn't the best of that show though. Do you tape this stuff? Enjoy the relaxation.

I think it is a GREAT idea for us to get a 'database' of lunch ideas together. I get really bored fast so I always need to rotate through things. There is nothing but a wrap place near me at work (and that's a 5 minute drive). I see a lot of people bring in leftovers. Is your sister still doing the cooking, Renee? Can she make a little extra that you can put aside for lunch the next day (maybe once or twice a week at least so you don't get so bored of sandwiches)?

I brought salad again today but need a break after two days. I also always have a piece of fruit of some kind.


Salad: greens, crumbled cheese, dried cranberries, walnuts or almond pieces, vinegrette dressing, pieces of chicken or turkey or tofu if need protein

Sandwiches of course: turkey or chicken breast with cheese

Frozen dinners - probably not the best but I try to choose wisely. There are some decent veggie ones too

Roasted butternut squash is good too. You can do a whole half of one.

I am looking to make a taco salad one night and will then bring some for lunch. I also have a decent spicy black beans and rice dish that I am going to make and bring for lunch.

01-12-2005, 09:11 AM
Ang, liked your heading yesterday Ė it sort of made me wonder: is she faking it or making it today??? ;)

And I donít tape GG Ė I just seem to watch it these days... Hopefully itís because Iím bored out of my wits! :lol:
(Iím more of a CSI/Sopranos/Six Feet Under/X-files watcher, normally!) (Oh! And Arrested Development! And Angel! And Buffy! AndÖ. yeah, wellÖ. heh)
I watched some episodes at the end of last season when Rory and Dean got together again Ė and watching the start of the first season now is very different! I mean, they just had their first kiss! (Which means that I got to the sleeping together part before I got to the kissing part!). AnywayÖ

Great ideas about lunches, Ang!
I figure I can bring sandwiches two days per week, and it would be very good to bring something else for the other two.
To me, salad is also a good idea Ė with some protein like beans, eggs, cheese. Oh, and nuts! Good idea! And maybe Iíll finally try to make tofu!
I also need to bring a couple of snacks I suppose: fruit and bars perhaps? Do you bring other snacks than fruit, Ang? Renee?

And this ďdecent spicy black beans and rice dishĒ of yours Ė is it complicated to make? Wanna share the recipe? :lol:

01-12-2005, 11:11 AM
I think I was making it yesterday pretty well. ;) Today I just wish the weather was better. I am taking the afternoon off to take the train into Boston to meet a friend visiting from VA. It should be good to see her but the snow/rain/ice makes the getting there and back a little annoying.

mette - it sounds like you watch your fair share of t.v. I also like CSI, Without a Trace, Angel, and other crime/adventure stuff. I don't have HBO so I can't watch any of their shows. Are they really good?

Snacks are definitely a good idea. I bring string cheese or light laughing cow cheese (can spread this on celery for some added crunch). I also like peanutbutter (by itself or on some apple or crackers or celery). I also usually keep a container of nuts in my office (peanuts usually) so I can grab a handful if I need a small snack.

Tofu is REALLY easy. I like to keep it small though because it doesn't have a lot of taste so I like a lot of surface area to soak up any dressing/marinade or just to limit the size in my mouth at once.

I'll post the recipe for the black beans and rice as soon as I am home with a chance. It uses canned beans and stewed tomatoes I think - easy - put over rice. I need to pull out my recipe books anyway. :) I have some fast ones and some veggie ones and some fast veggie ones. I'll see what there is that I have forgotten about - one more step towards one of my goals.

I better get some work done since I have to leave early today. Enjoy your days. I'll be back tomorrow.

01-12-2005, 06:18 PM
This week has been a not so hot week for me and I am getting angry at myself. I am not 'totally' blowing it, but the scales tipped up 4lb and hovered there. It could also be the few days of poor decisions on top of 'that time of the month' - but it's bugging me.

I am going out to dinner tonight. Red Lobster. I think I am going to not go hog wild, but nor am I going to make myself miserable. I am dining with a friend I haven't been out with in a while and want to enjoy it.

Then tomorrow, it's back to the core. I bet I could get away with my current eating habits, if I actually did the work out thing. I think I -might- try going to the gym tomorrow morning. We'll see.

I'll chat it up tomorrow. Work is still going nuts today! o.O

01-13-2005, 12:39 PM
Renee - I'm sorry you are having a tough week. I'm sure that time of the month is not having a good effect on the scale but you know best if you have been making good food choices. I sympathize with your situation tonight. I went out with a friend last night and wasn't going to make myself crazy about the food choices. I did end up having a Thai Steak Salad which might not have been too bad for me, but the cannolli for dessert was definitely a no-no and it didn't even taste good. :( I bet Red Lobster has some decent (and good tasting) choices for you.

Don't give up - we'll keep plugging away at it together. I hope you make it to the gym. How is your sister with motivation? Does she have similar problems or can she help motivate you?

Good luck with work. mette - how is your day going?

Lunch today for me is a tangerine, stuffed chicken breast and some pasta salad. I don't think this is my healthiest lunch but then dinner can be lighter - maybe salad so I can get some greens in for the day. Does anyone else have more lunch suggestions?

01-14-2005, 12:29 PM
Ugh ugh ugh! The scale has been hovering at 157 now since Monday! I weighed on Sunday at 153, and now this!! I haven't been eating the best, but I haven't gone so nuts that I should have gained this. Heck, over Christmas I was eating cookies all day and this didn't happen. I'm getting so frustrated!

Top it off, I had my braces adjusted yesterday and my mouth is killing me, which leavse soft food choices, which aren't always as diet friendly.

The gym hasn't happened since Sunday, but we took the Christmas tree down, which was a lot of up and down stairs, and a lot of lifting things into the attic. I should not fuss over 4lbs I guess. I am just so sad, because I was dropping dropping dropping, and now I am freakin'g hovering at 157!

I'll be going to the gym on Sunday - hmm, maybe I should go tonight too. I dunno. Just totally frustrated right now.

I had McDonalds for breakfast, which is bad yes. But I am down to going there just once a week instead of twice a week. And again, back when I was going twice a week, I was still losing!

Lunch is likely going to be my healthy bologna sandwich - with the ingredients I use, it totals 275 calories - 11.5 fat - 22 carbs - 6 fiber. And very tasty - but not so filling. :( And I really have a taste for chinese anyway.

Today is going to be bad I think!

01-15-2005, 10:55 AM
Good morning girls!

I didnít turn on the computer at all yesterday, and had a very nice day Ė I spent it with a friend, just hanging out doing nothing. Very niceÖ. :D

Ang Ė how did seeing your friend from VA go? Did you have a good time?
You have some very good ideas for lunches and snacks, Ang Ė Iím sorry I donít have that many. I always like to eat soup for lunch in the winter Ė hot and spicy Ė but I think it would be more of a hassle to do at work. Itís probably better to do at home.

Renee Ė sorry to hear that your scale is up, hope you had a good day yesterday despite that.

I donít know whatís happening in your body, Renee Ė but your experiences sound very familiar too me.
I have started diets in the past and gone for weeks and months eating a bit off the diet, and still lost weight. But then, would suddenly stop losing or gain weight Ė still eating the same way. To continue to lose weight I had to become strict and start following the diet. I think of that first period Ė when I will lose weight no matter what I eat - as the honeymoon-part of the diet; I donít really have to be *that* strict. When the honeymoon is over Ė itís all hard work from then on. But Iíve also found that the honeymoon periods are getting shorter and with less weightloss in my thirties. It *is* much easier to lose weight in your twenties.
The other thing is going off diets and overeat/binge/cheat for a period of time (like, say, during Christmas perhaps (ehrm)). I can get away with cheating for a couple of weeks without gaining weight. It always make me think that weight loss maintenance really isnít hard at all! Which is very stupid of me, because if I keep up overeating I reach the point where the calories reach up with my body, and I start gaining weight fast.

Iíve spent years dieting, and one thing that Iím 100% certain of is that itís not a 1:1 relationship between calories eaten and the numbers of the scale in the short term. But in the long term Ė eventually - every calorie counts.

You talked about writing down to measure progress when going to the gym, do you do the same thing with your eating? Writing down or logging food intake at fitday or something like that?
Maybe it could be something you could try for a week? Itís always good to know as much as possible about the present, and what youíre doing now - and to look at it as objectively as possible to look for areas you can change. And starting with small consistent changes Ė Iím a big believer in that. Introducing small stuff that you stick with!

Hope you both have a great Saturday! :coffee:

01-16-2005, 01:25 AM
I used to log my things in at fitday, but stopped pretty quick into that. I had plenty of success without monitoring every little thing and so it's frustrating to think to go back to that.

I'm having a real bad day today. After eating well all day, I went grocery shopping and got totally pissed off about the foods I wanted, but could not have. The cookies, the cakes, the ice creams. I mean, I got REALLY mad and depressed. It's unrealistic to think that there will ever be a day that I don't want these things. Even after the strict following of South Beach, I still wanted these things. Even after 6 months of drinking diet soda, I still -want- to drink regular and think it tastes way better.

I don't know how to counter this very destructive feeling I am having. I don't know if it's triggered by the fact my weight has gone back up, even if it's just a mere 5lbs. For me, food is a hobby. I don't do a lot of things that are pleasing to me, and so I really want to enjoy what I eat, and that's not happening because I am constantly limiting myself. Or rather, I wasn't for a while, and now I am trying to again.

I'm hoping to get into the gym tomorrow, but I'm a bit afraid I will wake up depressed and end up sitting at the computer the whole day. God, I'd kill for some milk and cookies right now... sigh.

01-16-2005, 09:13 AM
Iím so sorry youíre having a bad day, Renee!
I agree with you that itís unrealistic to think that there will be a day you donít want cookies, cakes, ice creams. And I certainly understand your anger and frustration - feeling deprived makes me feel angry, resentful, and depressed too.

Maybe you can try looking at this a bit differently: look at it like itís not about never, ever eating cookies again, but about not eating a lot of cookies every day. You can eat anything Ė but not every day. If the diet youíre following doesnít allow you to eat food itís very hard for you not to eat Ė then maybe you need to look a bit closer into whether the diet is working for you?

I have been reading Anne Fletcherís ďThin for life. 10 keys to success from people who have lost weight and kept it offĒ since itís being discussed in the Maintainer Forum. Fletcher writes about (in chapter 3) the importance of losing weight your own way Ė and how important it is to tailor your diet to your own needs. You need to learn from your past Ė what worked for you and what didnít, because the diet must fit you and your life Ė itís not the other way around. If you need to eat cookies now and again Ė to keep yourself from feeling deprived Ė than the diet youíre following should have room for that.
I do recommend this book, even if I donít agree with everything in it Ė but thatís one of the points of the book Ė there is no one diet that fits all! You have to find one that works for you, alter it to fit your life Ė and thus making it your own and taking responsibility for your own weight loss.

I don't do a lot of things that are pleasing to me, and so I really want to enjoy what I eat, and that's not happening because I am constantly limiting myself.
You know what to do about this one, donít you? Finding *other* things that are pleasing to you, because to lose weight and maintain the loss - you need to find your pleasure somewhere else, if youíre not getting it from food. Any ideas?

Iíve been struggling a bit with the amount of work and commitment maintaining a weight loss for the rest of my life will involve. And what motivates me these days, is the realization that Iím going to be preoccupied and fixated on weight/body/fat/overweight/exercise/eating the rest of my life anyway! If I stay fat or regain weight, I will not be any less fixated or obsessed by it Ė so as long as Iím going to obsess about it Ė I can just as well obsess and struggle while being thin Ė and obsess about weight maintenance.
This thing with weight/eating/my body/fat is going to be one of the biggest issues for me my whole life anyway Ė whether Iím thin or fat. I can just as well be thin while I obsess!

Not exactly the help you hoped for, is it Renee? Sorry about that. I really hope you have a good day today.

Ang, how are you doing this weekend? Got any thoughts for Renee and her struggles?

01-16-2005, 09:59 AM
I hope your weekends have been going well.

Renee - I'm sorry you're having a tough time with the scale. You need to consider the WHOLE picture. It is never one thing that you're doing that causes you to gain or lose weight. The reason might not even be noticeable (e.g. hormonal changes during the month). How is your mouth feeling? I know how frustrating (I think we all know) weight loss can be but you have to keep trying. I know I start to feel bad and then it causes me to eat more. It can become a vicious cycle. Try to get a hold on it before it gets worse. How did the gym go today? Congratulations on reducing your breakfasts at McD. That's great! What do you eat for breakfast on the other days?

Renee - we're here for you. I totally understand how you are feeling as I go through the same thing. Right now I can't seem to restrict myself because it is one of the few things that brings me some type of happiness. In the end I know it doesn't make me happy though and it sounds like you feel the same way. I think one thing we may need to do is find other things that give us pleasure so we don't want the food so often. You'll always like the good stuff but it doesn't have to control you. :grouphug:

mette - A day of doing nothing sounds wonderful. I am enjoying my weekend with me friend (more later). She is resting now so I thought I'd jump on the computer quickly. If you like soup maybe you should invest in a good thermos. I don't think it would be that hard to do soup a couple of days a week. Do you have access to a microwave? Do you bring homemade soup?

Renee - I agree with mette totally. I hadn't thought about the obsession part but it's true. I don't remember one day in my life where I didn't think about food/weight/etc. Channel the obsession into a positive. I also agree that you have to allow yourself to eat in a way that is 'normal' for you. I know I can't live without chocolate. I also know that if I get up and move I can allow myself a little chocolate because I'm burning extra calories. I'm not advocating food rewards but balance. I learned through life that I cannot stick to a strict diet. I don't have the will power or the time/knowledge to put into the preparation and cooking. When I lost weight in the past it was because of small acceptable changes to my diet and the addition of regular exercise. It was more important for me to eat what I wanted (reasonably) than to sit on my butt and not exercise. This may not work for you, but you may be able to find your own balance. Even the thinest people eat 'bad foods' occassionally. Another key is portion control with 'bad foods'.

I also recommend logging your food, at least for yourself to just see what you are eating and if there are any patterns or 'easy' changes that you can make. I'm also not big into the fitday type (seems like too much work) of logging but just writing it down to see the realistic picture may prove helpful. This is similar to our discussion on looking at pictures of your body. Sometimes you neeed to be objective about what you are eating.

I'm sorry I rambled. I should think about my responses before I post but I was in a hurry. My friend is leaving this afternoon. I'll try to come back later or I'll be back tomorrow.

Good luck today to both of you. What are doing to enjoy the rest of the weekend?

01-16-2005, 04:53 PM
Just a quick one from me too! Ang, just wanted to say that I loved your post, and that I think youíre completely right that the important thing is to do is to break the vicious circle Ė and get a hold on it before it gets worse.

This whole thing about what it is in our lives that gives us pleasure and makes us happy Ė itís a difficult one, isnít it?
For me itís all tied up with what Iím trying to get the food to do for me. I know I get pleasure from sleeping, napping, and hot baths when what I want from food is warmth and comfort.
But it doesnít work if I want to eat because Iím bored Ė a nap doesnít work as a substitute in those situations. Although sometimes playing Sims does. ;)

Ang, hope your weekend with your friend is going well. I also think using a thermos for soup is a really, really good idea!

Renee Ė hope youíre having a good day too!

01-17-2005, 12:07 AM
Thanks mette. I just wish that breaking the cycle was easy. It can be VERY difficult, particularly when you are in it. I am trying to break mine too Renee. I am hoping that I am going to the YMCA for the first time tomorrow. It is snowing here now and I'm not bringing workout clothes with me to work (even though I should) so things are stacked up against me a little but I hope I go. This is my attempt to start to break my cycle. Renee - can you think of a small thing you could do that would be a start in the right direction?

I agree mette - why is it so hard for us to figure out what gives us true pleasure. I was sad tonight and lonely and ate way too much. I wasn't hungry and the food really didn't taste that good or give me much pleasure but it did keep me occupied so I didn't think about anything else. I think I need to face my life and not turn to food. Hmmm.... I'll think about that a little more.

mette - how about reading, puzzles, solitaire with actual cards or a craft when you're bored? Computer games aren't all bad either. :) I keep saying I am going to get a mat down on the floor and start stretching while watching t.v. but that hasn't happened yet. Sometimes I just don't think of things at the right time.

My weekend went well. It was really good to see my friend. I miss her a lot. We were like sisters when I was in grad school. She is good with interior design and clothes so we did some shopping. I stink at shopping so it is good to go and feel confident that I'm getting good things because she approves. I bought some jeans that I needed desperately (went up a size :( ), earrings for everyday, dishes, a beer mug for bf, and picked out rugs for my living and dining rooms. We didn't get everything but progress was made. If it weren't for the extra eating it would have been an excellent weekend.

One other note - the farmer that is sick, he is talking some now and eating a little on his own. Very good progress! It was good to see today when I went to visit him. Gotta hold on to the good things. :)

Renee - how did your weekend go? This is a new week. What plans does everyone have for this week?

My goals for the week:
1. Post the black bean recipe (sorry I forgot this weekend and it's too late right now for me to go get it and type it in)
2. Make taco salad or black bean recipe and a Thai dish this week
3. Get to the YMCA at least 2 days this week.

What do you think?

01-17-2005, 12:16 AM
Thanks girls, you guys are great. Reading your replies got me calmed down enough to grab the reins again. Speaking of reins, the man at the stable emailed me back and would like to discuss lesson options over the phone. I am still 6lbs away from that goal and I am not sure if I should continue to wait and do it once I am officially at 150, or call it close enough.

I weighed this morning at 156, which is only 3lbs up from the lowest I've weighed. I think I ate REAL well today. For breakfast, a bowl of Kix and skim milk. Lunch was 5oz of chicken and some corn salsa. Snack was 2 clementines and a piece of low fat string cheese, and dinner was beef and spinach lasagna (made low fat style) My late night snack came as a bowl of cereal. So all tallied up I know without a doubt I am under 1500 calories.

I also went to the gym AND wrote down everything I did. I did about 8 different machines, 2 leg ones, 2 hip ones, 2 abs ones, 2 shoulders ones. And about 25 minutes of bike riding. After this afternoon though, I am not sure exercising in the morning (I have yet to try it, but want to) would be a good idea. I got back at noon and ate, and by 2pm I was about to pass out! I thought it was supposed to give you more energy for the day?

My abs are already sore, so I know I did well. I really focused on lifting enough weight that the last couple reps are a challenge, and I was breathing right too. It felt good at the time at least. :)

Tomorrows plan is cereal for breakfast, clemetines for snacks, cheese for snacks, sandwich and yogurt for lunch. More lasagna for dinner.

See you ladies tomorrow, and thanks again!

01-17-2005, 12:39 PM
Oh yes. I *do* know that breaking the circle is difficult Ė and sometimes I canít even explain how itís done, how I did it Ė looking back.
Ang: hereís cheering you on at the Y today!!! You go girl!! :cheer:
And I really like your goals for the week Ė itís all about proper eating and getting to the gym!

I have to say that the thing thatís working best for me Ė against grazing and mindless eating Ė is the fact that I log my food. Knowing that the food and calories are going into my daily and weekly summary is actually enough to limit my eating. Whenever I eat itís documented and *there* for all eternity (yeah, not really, but it feels that way) Ė and that keep me more in check. It actually works for me.

And I know about the whole Ė not thinking about the right thing at the right time Ė but I do believe that eventually the time will be right for the thing, and no ideas are worthless! (Yes! You can call me Polyanna!) (or notÖ) ;)

Sounds like you had a wonderful weekend, Ang! How nice that you got to spend time with your friend! Did you introduce the bf to her? Did she like him? (Thatís one of the most important bf-tests, isnít it?? The best friend-test! :lol: )
Renee: wonderful to hear that you had a great day yesterday! :cheer:
I think you should start your riding lessons now Ė to get something new and pleasurable in your life. Go for the lessons, and donít let the 5-6lbs stop you! Do it now! Have fun! Learn something new about yourself, and about horses, and about riding!
Congratulations on going to the gym and getting sore too! Just what the doctor ordered! :lol:

You guys are doing great! Iím off to the couch and my blanket and an article on clinical research on chronic pain patients. Have a nice day everybody!

01-17-2005, 03:16 PM
You know maybe I should go for them! It's exercise, it'd likely boost my confidence and help shed a few pounds since it is work to ride a horse. Good leg work out, and core stabilizers too.

I crashed at lunch. I had my healthy sandwich stuff here, but with a temperature of 6 and a windchill of -8, I wanted something warm. I had errands to run, and of course that meant the only warm, fast thing - was fast food. I got a journal notebook though, and I am going to go back to tracking my food. One bad lunch will not ruin me. I just do better from now on.

Ang- Don't you just love hanging out with old friends? It's one of my goals this year, actually, to get back in touch with some old friends. You and I should come up with a little support contest or something - or maybe not contest, but a game. See who can come up with the most ideas for 'pleasing' things or something. I think we'd both benefit by finding a crutch other than food to fall back on.

mette- make sure you do enough relaxing for all three of us! And any good articles on weight loss you come across, send my way!

01-17-2005, 03:46 PM
Congratulations Renee...I'm so glad you had a good day yesterday. Good eating AND exercise. I'm still planning on going to the gym today after I stop at Target to pick up some necessities. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I get there but just getting there is the big goal for right now.

mette - I think I'll try logging my food. I probably won't put too many details down, but I want to take my own advice and see if there are any patterns. I'll start that tonight or tomorrow. Renee - we'll both be joining the logging club again. :)

I did introduce my friend to the bf. She liked him pretty well so that's good. She just wants me to be happy and she felt that that was what he wanted to so we're going forward (where ever that ends up being). :dizzy:

Renee - I agree with mette about the riding lessons. You do seem to need something good and physical in your life right now. Separate them from your weight loss goal. You may want to even pick another 'reward' (maybe not so big but something so you don't minimize how important it is that you loss those pounds.

Enjoy your article mette - don't strain anything with all that hard work. :lol:

Renee - it's good to hear the change in your attitude. Hold onto that and just keep going on. You know the's a marathon and not a sprint. We'll be making decisions everyday for the rest of our lives.

Renee - I love your idea about pleasing things. I'll have to start trying some things out to find things I truly like and not things that I think I like. Believe it or not there is a difference. I know I like listening to music and reading S. King (sometimes at the same time). I'm going to try puzzles again and see how that goes. I'm fine outdoors, it's the indoor stuff that's hard (particularly when it's cold and dark). Is there anything you know you like?

01-18-2005, 12:07 AM
Spicy Black Beans and Rice

In a medium saucepan cook 1/2 C onion and 4 cloves garlic in hot oil (2 T) till tender but not brown. Carefully stir in drained black beans (15 ounce can), undrained Mexican-style stewed tomatoes (14.5 ounce can), and 1/8 to 1/4 tsp gound red pepper. Bring to boil; reduce heat. Simmer, uncovered, for 15 minutes.

To serve, mound rice (2 Cups cooked brown or long grain) on individual plates; make a well in center. Spoon black bean mixture into center. If desired, sprinkle with chopped onion. Makes 4 servings.

Nutrition per serving: 279 calories, 11g p, 47 g carb, 8 g fat (1 g sat), 0mg chol, 631 mg sodium, 573 mg potassium.

This is a simple dish but really easy to make and has a nice zing to it that you can control with the amount of red pepper. If you try it let me know if you like it. If I can just remember to buy the tomatoes and an onion I think I have all of the ingredients.

Goodnight ladies. :)

01-18-2005, 09:06 PM
A little self encouragment goes a long way I guess. I took the photo's and the measurements tonight. Here are the results.

Inches Lost:
Arms (at the bicep): 1.25"
Bust (plenty to spare gentlemen): 1.5"
Waist (getting a shape back?): 5.5"
Hips (will be my biggest challenge): 6.25"
Thigh (second hardest spot): 1.5"

The pictures, I'm not quite ready to show off - but you ladies will likely be the only ones to witness that! I am amazed at what I looked like. Like I said, you can really fool yourself as to how bad you've gotten. I can see major differences in my shape, and while my new pictures are still chubby ole me, I am encouraged and motivated now to keep going - because they are SO much better than the ones from Sept.

I am going to go work out now!

01-19-2005, 08:05 AM
Iím spending my last days of freedom away from the computer Ė so Iíll just pop in and say hi!

Renee Ė did you call the guy about the riding lessons?
Congratulations on lost inches!!! How great is that!?! Itís so good to hear that you find progress in your measurements and photos, Renee. Wonderful to hear that youíre seeing major differences! :lol:
Keep up the good work!

Ang - thank you for the recipe, it sounds both delicious and easy to make. I love spicy food but Iím a lousy cook Ė but I think I will try this. Do you ever use dry beans when you cook, Ang?

I have eaten chocolate 3 days in a row, and itís not a good food choice Ė because it means there are fewer calories to eat proper food! So Iím hungry Ė which makes me grumpy. But that doesnít mean that I donít want to eat chocolateÖ. ;)
I think Iíll make better food choices today.
The gym is going fine Ė I did legs yesterday and Iím a bit sore. Upper body tomorrow, and probably some cardio to burn off the chocolateÖ Heh.

Have a nice day - both of you! :D

01-20-2005, 08:58 AM
So Ė guess I wasnít the only one who needed some time off from the computer, huh? ;)

All is well here. Iím having a break from reading, and am trying to put together a better cardio-playlist on my I-Pod. Any good suggestions of songs for cardio?
Favorite cardio-songs right now are: Eminem (Lose yourself), Linkin Park (In the end), Chumbawamba (Tubthumping), Blink 182 (All the small things), The Cardigans (My favorite game), Hole (Celebrity Skin)Ö. And Evanescence.

Iím eating clean again today. Lots of fruits and vegetables, fish of some kind for dinner, protein pancake for lunch, oatmeal for breakfast.
Just popped in to wish everybody a good day! :wave:

01-20-2005, 01:02 PM
Hey girls. Work is a little weird lately. Not busy, but I lose myself in other things and the day whizzes by. I shouldn't complain I guess haha.

Good to hear you are clean eating again Mette. I haven't called about the riding lessons, I will do that this weekend. If he answers. :) I am excited and a little bit nervous about it. We'll see how it goes I guess.

My weight has tipped back down to hover around the 153-154 area and I am soooo relieved. I guess with the time of month that it was, and a week of too much cheating, it really flipped the teeter totter.

I've been having my 3 main meals and 2-3 snacks a day and feeling good about where I am. Sure those Reeses Peanut Butter cups snuck in yesterday, but I don't feel so bad about that. :)

Wonder where Ang is!

01-20-2005, 05:24 PM
Sorry that I was gone but I stayed home sick yesterday and proceeded to nap on the couch the entire day. I'm still tired but doing better today. Of course I'm swamped even more than usual at work since I missed a day.

Congratulations Renee on your progress! Positive reinforcement might just be what you need to get to the next step. Right now I'm too scared to take measurements or pictures. I stepped on the scale and I'm just around 200 and I'm too scared to see it go above but not ready to do much about it yet. Did you get to the gym? It sounds like you are doing great and you just need to stay motivated. I'm glad your weight is back down to where you 'want' it. It's amazing what that time of the month can do. I have it now and I'm hoping it is one of the reasons for my recent behavior.

mette - I hope you are enjoying your time off but still have some time for us gals when you start school. :)

I don't cook much so I go very easy. I don't usually use dry beans. This recipe needs the moisture from the canned stuff I think, even though you drain the beans first. I'm going to make this within the week too. I still need to go grocery shopping though. It's so cold here that it is all I can do to get home and crawl under a blanket. :( Did you get your intended workout in mette? Don't you love the feeling of being a little sore from exercising? I got in a little walk today at lunch (in the snow).

I'm sorry I'm not much help with cardio songs. I'm listening to a lot of folk and country lately and while I like it, it isn't really up beat enough for cardio.

Mette - was today a chocolate free day for you? Your meal plan seems great. Do you make 'real' oatmeal? Is it easy? I do the instant but realize it's not that nutritious.

I better get back to work for a little before I go home. Someone send some warmer weather my way. I don't do well with winter. I hate to just give in, but I feel like I'm struggling to just hold on until some better weather arrives and I can get some energy back and motivation. Maybe I'll look into one of those lights we were talking about. It would also help if my house was warmer - I'm having heating issues so the house can be at 61 all day - that's pretty cold for me indoors.

Later Ladies - take care.

01-22-2005, 10:01 AM
Good morning!

Good luck on the lessons, Renee Ė hope it works out for you! And itís very nice to hear that your weight is back down - :D

Ang Ė so sorry to hear youíre sick. Naps, blankets and warm tea Ė possibly some brandy: those are my best tips! :lol: Hope you feel better.
About the weight Ė sorry youíre gaining a little, but it sounds like youíre doing OK for the time being? I understand what you mean when you say youíre both scared of gaining but at the same time not ready to start losing. Like you say: thereís no point in trying to do something youíre not ready to do!
Letís all hope that spring will come soon: that the snow goes away and itíll be light and warm again. Everything will be easier then. I think your small changes in eating and exercise is more than enough right now, and that we should try to just get through winter as best we can.
Take care of yourself; get enough sleep, enough to eat, move a little Ė and before we all know it, it will be spring again. Hopefully. :^:

I donít cook much either, but I do make real oatmeal for breakfast. Itís no work at all Ė it boils while I cut the banana, take my multivitamin, and make the coffee. I just boil it up with water for a couple of minutes, put it in a dish Ė and put cinnamon, banana and milk on top. Itís nice to start the day with something warm these days. Yeah, Iím no fan of winter eitherÖ

I have been doing some good work these last days Ė reading up and preparing for next week. My eating is going well, and Iím pleasantly sore from my upper body workout yesterday.
Have a nice weekend!

01-23-2005, 06:32 PM
Very quick note for now. I'm feeling fine again but not happy about the blizzard that came yesterday and today. I spent all afternoon fighting with my snowblower to partially clear my driveway. At least it was a little bit of a workout. :)

In general my weekend has kind of sucked. Short version - I found out my mother's cancer has gotten VERY aggressive and she doesn't have much more time. It was my responsibility to call my brother and then my father to tell them. They didn't know because they didn't get forceful enough with the hospital. Lucky me that I don't sit back and just accept everything. My mother doesn't even know and it is probably going to be my responsibility to tell her and make some decisions. I'm the youngest and the farthest away but I'm in charge because of the dysfunction in my family.

Given that this has happened, I have held it together fairly well this weekend. I hope you both have weathered the storm. Renee, did you get out and have some fun? mette - sounds like you are really getting ready for school again. Good for you. Have some fun also though. :)

I'll try to come back later or else tomorrow. Things at work are more hectic then ever and the situation with my mother is just going to make it worse. I am planning on going to see her this week so if I disappear for a day or two at a time I apologize but the internet is not always accessible when I go home to visit.

Take care ladies and stay warm.

01-24-2005, 02:22 PM
I just wanted to say good morning. I dug out my 24" of snow and made it to work. It's hard to stay focused but am trying to accomplish something related to work today. How are you doing? I hope you're having fun.

01-24-2005, 05:27 PM
Oh, Ang Ė Iím so sorry to hear about your mother! I didnít read your post until now, sorry I didnít write sooner.
How are you holding up? On top of everything: the amount of snow youíre getting is really brutal! Did you get to work without problems? And are you able to think about work at all?

Do you think that youíll take some time off and go and visit your family and mother now? I really hope you take care of yourself in the midst of all the stress, Ang. Wish you the best with everything! :goodvibes

Please come here and talk with us whenever you can or need to vent a little. Donít be afraid to use us, we really do care about you and want you to do as good as possible. :grouphug:

01-25-2005, 11:56 AM
Hi Ang Ė just a quick note in case youíre reading: I hope youíre having an okay day wherever you are, I donít know if youíre still at work or if you went home to be with your parents.
I just wanted to say hi, and tell you to hang in there, to try and take care of yourself, and all the other useless advices people tell each other when they donít have anything useful to say Ė and I really havenít, but I just want to tell you that Iím thinking of you. :grouphug:

I canít imagine how stressful this must be for you and your family, and it sounds like theyíre really lucky to have you there. Even though it must be hard for you to be the one who fixes things, and do the hard and difficult tasks.
I think I told you before that I lost my brother a few years back - but he died in an accident, so I have never had to go through anything like you and your family are now, with your mother getting sicker and sicker.

Iím thinking of you Ang, and Iím sending you lots of positive thoughts! Take care of yourself.

01-25-2005, 01:00 PM
mette - thank you so much for your support. I always feel strange trying to find something useful to say, but I guess the useful and helpful part is knowing that there is someone out there who cares enough to say something. I really do appreciate it.

I am actually working (sort of) from home today so I can get some errands done and I made some phone calls for my mother's situation. I just didn't need to do it at work and pretend I was working there. My mother still doesn't know about her cancer but everything else seems to be better and she is moving more so the doctor is thinking of sending her home by the weekend. They will send a PT to the house and of course adjustments will have to be made, but she can sit and watch t.v. there and people can visit her more easily. In the end it will just be a matter of time, but for now we all need to be doing what will make her most comfortable and happy.

From the house she can get some things done. She is being very practical and is ready to talk to a lawyer and do some things that should have been done a long time ago. I am still happy that she is able to do these things. Not that I wouldn't do them, but they are her things to do and she should do them. I think she is going to let me be her medical proxy so that's good. She can have the lawyer draw up papers on that too. She told me her wishes also so I feel better about that. If she goes home I am going to go visit her this weekend.

It's bad enough that she is going to go soon, but I'll be grateful for a little more coherent time with her. It's not quantity, it's definitely quality.

How are you doing? Are you ready for school? Renee - what's going on with you?

01-26-2005, 11:27 AM
Good morning Ang. Just checking in to see if youíre doing OK and to send you some positive vibes! :goodvibes
I completely agree that the important thing is for people to tell you that they care about you Ė it really isnít so important *what* they say, as long as they donít start to avoid you because itís too uncomfortable to talk to you. Itís very sad but I actually lost friends when my brother died - people just stopped talking to me. Very weird.

Iím sorry Iím so brief these days; my days suddenly became very busy: my two days at the hospital so far have been busy, challenging, and very interesting. So far Iím not scared yet, but I probably will be sooner or later. Itís scary stuff to work as a psychologist alone! ;)
But I do like my supervisor; he seems very good at what heís doing.

Itís good to hear that your mother is feeling better and is moving around more - it always seems like the better solution to keep people comfortable and taken cared of in their own homes. I really hope you get your wish for more coherent time with your mother!!
I wish you the best in dealing with everything, Ang Ė but how are you feeling in the midst of everything? Are you sleeping? Do you see the boyfriend or other friends who can take care of you a little? Do you eat well?
You probably know that itís important to cover the basics in stressful times: get enough sleep, eat proper food, have somebody there to hug you and listen to you. But I just wanted to remind you to take care of yourself!
I hope youíre doing fairly OK.

And yeah Ė where did Renee go? Hope sheís OK too!

01-26-2005, 01:46 PM
Hey ladies. This is the third time I am dropping in and trying to write stuff up! Work has been busy.

Ang- I lost my mother when I was thirteen, and I know how stressful and anxious it is once they tell you that it's just time left. *hug* I'll be praying for your family hon. It's great that you are going to spend the time there too, snatch up every moment that you can. If you need to talk ever, let me know.

I also agree with Mette - during hard times we tend to turn to food and other crutches for comfort, and it's so important to eat well and keep up positive habits. Stress is exhausting for our physical bodies, so get your sleep and nutrition. If you don't take a multi vitamin daily, I'd recommend that too.

Mette- things picking up for you now huh? Maybe now, ang and I can stop being so jealous of you! Your days of relaxation sounded so nice. :p It sounds like you are really enthusiastic about your job/school stuff though, I wish I had that here.

As for me. Wow, Cabin Fever, Winter Blahs, moods galore. I have been so down on myself the past while and it's really nervewracking. I want a big change, I want a fresh start, a new life. And on the same coin, I am scared to death to take a leap. I don't even know what direction I'd want to leap to!

I think I might have a hormonal imbalance, and that scares me/frustrates me? Because I hate how in this day and age, 'EVERYONE' has a depression and it's solved by some prescription or another. I'm not saying there isn't validity to these things. But I hate that every solution is a stupid pill. That aside, I think my moods are related to hormonal dips. (Which everyone has) But.. for example. I was put back onto birth control to regulate wacky periods. And now, my fourth month in, in the middle of my cycle, I have cramps, tenderness and enough bleeding that I need to wear a liner? And the kicker is, I am TAKING THE PILL. I thought the pill held back the hormones that tell your body when to start your period. So here's me, on pill 8 of the months packs, and having a mini period? It makes no sense. I am sure that with hormones so strong they bust through the effects of the pill, that there is something fishy. I just need my doc to actually give a crap about it. I'm gonna call her today and see what she thinks. Sigh. So annoying.

I've been doing okay on eating though, so at least that's good.

01-27-2005, 12:21 AM
I only have a moment but wanted to stop in to say hello. Things got really off today with more snow. I've definitely had enough. Renee - I am right there with you about the moods and winter blahs. I have just given in for January and just doing my best to coast along. I do want to mention that I had a friend who started bc pills again and she had bleeding in the month - after a dose adjustment it just took a couple of months for her body to 'get used to it' and then the bleeding stopped. Of course, talk to your doctor, but you may just need some time to adjust or a different pill. Be assertive with your doctor and get what you need. They have lots of patients, so you need to make sure you are number one to them while you are in their office. Good luck and keep us posted.

My mother went to her rehab center today. She seems to like it well enough. It is a good move all around. I am still planning on going down to see her on Saturday. I'm hoping bf is going to accompany me but he doesn't know for sure yet if his schedule will allow it. In general he has been supportive though and that has been nice.

I am trying to take care of myself - at least I'm doing no worse than I was 2 weeks ago. I may have stopped gaining weight (at 197 - under 200 - yea!) and I'm trying to get sleep but it never seems to be enough. Speaking of which, I need to get to bed so I'll be back tomorrow.

01-27-2005, 01:06 PM
Good morning girls.

Renee Ė good to see you back. Sorry about the stress youíre having Ė both at work and with your hormones - but at least youíre not stress-eating! I donít know much about hormones and birth control, but I totally agree with Ang about being assertive and get the answers you need from your doctor.

I find itís easy to feel enthusiastic about school and work these days Ė thereís really few dull moments.
And what youíre taking about, Renee Ė wanting a change, but having no idea what kind of change you want; I lived like that for years while working. When I finally found out that I wanted to study psychology, it started with a course in work and organizational psychology I took on a whim. I just found it very interesting, and wanted to learn more psychology. And I wanted to work as a psychologist. But it took time and a lot of thinking before I eventually quit my job and went back to school Ė even if itís the best decision Iíve ever made! :D
My suggestion is that you start looking around at areas you think you would like to work in; see if you can take some courses to find out more about it, see if you can alter your job to suit you better. If you think you want to do something completely different Ė like working with animals Ė maybe you can find some courses or look into learning more about how you can get such jobs? Talk to some people who have jobs you find interesting maybe.
I think itís smart to figure out the direction before you leap too! ;)

Ang Ė very good to hear that youíre taking care of yourself and that your boyfriend takes care of you too.

Iím still figuring out how my eating works too. Iíve pretty much always known that I overeat when Iím bored and when Iím feeling bad about my self (itís the whole blaming myself, thinking Iím bad, ugly and fat - thinking negative thoughts about myself - that makes me overeat). So Iíve thought of myself as an emotional overeater for years and years.
But Iím slowly seeing that I also overeat when Iím very hungry (I need to snack and eat enough throughout the workday), when Iím thirsty (I have to drink enough water throughout the day), when Iím sleepy (I have to get my 7 hours of sleep to function at my best and not spend the day after overeating), and when Iím tired (I have to take breaks throughout the day Ė and hey! I can combine breaks with snacks and water! :D).
So itís not as easy as just being an emotional overeater Ė I also have to take care of the more basic needs to keep from overeating.

Wish you both a good Thursday!

01-27-2005, 03:53 PM
mette - brief is fine as long as you can keep in touch. We'd miss you if you left. :) I'm so happy that you are enjoying your 'work'. I'm sure you will be a great psychologist.

Welcome back Renee. I hope work is busy in a good way and not too stressful. For a while now you seem to be struggling with where you are in life. Can you take some time to explore what would make you happy? If you are definitely young enough to make major changes in your life if that is what is required to make you happy. Of course you need to know where you are going before you start the journey. I believe that if you figure out where you want to go, the journey won't be so scary. It may not be easy but you'll have an end result to look forward too. Right now you are comparing known to unknown and of course that is scary. Do you want to change work only or work and other aspects of your life?

mette - after reading your post it really dawned on me how I have never analyzed my behavioral patterns. As soon as I can dedicate myself to the effort, I am going to take a week or two and record what I'm doing and see if I can pinpoint specific reasons why I overeat. Like you, I bet I eat for lots of reasons and don't even realize it.

My mother is happy at her new facility and took a few steps today with a walker. Except for the cancer she seems to be doing well. One day at a time for now for all of us.

Take care and enjoy your day.

01-27-2005, 11:04 PM
Hey ladies. Well my eating was the pits today! Hahaha, but my god I enjoyed every mouthful. Burritos for breakfast, pizza for lunch, two giant oatmeal cookies (They were made of whole grain - that's allowed haha) and then steak and nachoes for dinner.

The good news is that I worked out for an hour! 5 minute warm up, 30 of weights, pushing myself into weights/reps that made the last few difficult. Then 20 minutes on the precor machine. :)

Feeling good, and I hope tomorrow I have that nice soreness there to remind me to 'HEY DON'T EAT LIKE A NAUGHTY GIRL!'

The doctor called back and told me to finish out this packet of pills, then come next month I will try a new brand. If that doesn't help, then we'll call her again and see what to do next.

Feeling pretty picked up today. Tomorrow I will have a better eating day, and I plan on going back to the gym on Saturday or Sunday. Maybe both? Do cardio one day, and just weights the next.


EDIT: Duh! Mette - do you use any kind of computer program to chart your lifting? I really want to set one up, but if there is one in existence somewhere, even better! Something that I can type in the name of the exercise/machine - the weight lifted - the reps and sets.

01-28-2005, 04:59 PM
Hi guys! Just checking in again.

Ang Ė itís nice to hear that your mother is happy. That must make life much better for you and your family? I hope youíre having a nice Friday Ė will you disappear for the weekend and go visit your family?
Still sending good thoughts your way, Ang. You seem to be coping very well with the situation.

Renee Ė you really like your burritos and pizzas, donít you? ;) Thank god those cookies had grains in them, huh?
Anyway - Iím sure you burned it all off at the gym Ė your workout sounds great!
I use an Excel worksheet to chart my weight lifting Ė nothing more complicated than that. I basically just log the exercise, weight, reps, and sets Ė just like you said. Works perfectly fine for me. But let me know if you find something better! :p

Iím very happy the weekend is coming up, even if I have to spend it reading up on a paper Iím suppose to write. At least I donít have to get up at 6.30 in the morning!
I also have to rearrange my workout regime for the next 16 weeks (while Iím in practice) Ė because I donít have the time to go to the gym in the mornings anymore. :(
I'll work it out though - I'm not stopping or slacking now!

Ah well. Have nice Fridays everybody!

01-28-2005, 05:28 PM
Renee - sorry to hear that yesterday was such a bad eating day for you. Has today been any better? Congrats on the gym though - you're getting to be a regular. :) Were you a little sore today?

mette - I'll be interested to hear about how you rearrange your schedule. It sounds like you are motivated enough now though to make time for working out and that is great. Do you like writing? It is the worst part of my job but a very big part of my job. What will your paper be about?

I hope you both enjoy the weekend. I am planning on visiting my mother tomorrow but should be back tomorrow night. I've been in a super odd place/mood this week and just want it to be over. I'm hoping for a fresh start next week. Therefore, I don't think I can deal with staying with family this weekend. If it weren't for my mother I would just spend the weekend on the couch watching movies. I guess doing that on Sunday will be enough. I'm not looking forward to the drive, but I think I need to see my mother tomorrow so I can move forward.

I'll be around here at some point. Take care.

01-29-2005, 11:03 AM
Good morning girls!

Ang Ė I hope you enjoy your weekend as best you can too. Good luck visiting your mother today! And hopefully you can spend tomorrow on the couch watching movies!

I did go to the gym this morning Ė it looks as if Iíll be able to go on Monday and Saturday mornings for the next 16 weeks.
So Iíll just rearrange my gym-program into a 2-days-split instead of a 3-days-split. More like this:

Squats (squat rack + barbell): 8 reps x 3 series
Lounges (with dumbbells): 10x3
Leg curls (machine): 8x3
Leg extensions (machine): 8x3
Shoulder press (dumbbells): 10x3
Lower back Hyperextensions (bench): 10x4
Side Raises (bench): 10x4
Sit-ups (3 sets)

Bench press (bench + barbell): 8x3
Lat pull downs (machine): 8x3
Pulley (machine): 10x3
Tricep extensions (barbell): 8x3
Biceps curls (dumbbells): 7x3
Upper back (machine): 8x3
Ab crunches (machine): 10x3

Iíll try it for a week and see how it works out.
Then I thought I would make a small program to do at home Ė perhaps Wednesday night Ė using my dumbbells.
Mainly chest, arms, back and abs I think Ė maybe something like this:
Push-ups (3 sets)
Sit-ups (3 sets)
Overhead triceps extensions (dumbbells) (8x3)
Side laterals (dumbbells) (8x3)
Front raise (dumbbells) (8x3)
I think I want to try a bit, and see how it feels. I do want to get push-ups into my program though: I suspect theyíll help on the bench press.

As for cardio Ė I walk to and from work Tuesday-Friday, so thatíll be 90 minutes 4 days of the week. I donít think Iíll be doing more than that to start with.

And btw: Iím celebrating 6 months of consistent weightlifting 3 times a week next week or the next (I started in the beginning of August!). Yey! :D

01-30-2005, 01:05 PM
Hi Ladies!

Long time no see, I know...! :sorry: I'm so glad to see that you girls are still around!!! I've thought about you all often, and now that the new year is here, I'm revamping my weight-loss plans and getting back on track. Hope you don't mind if I join in again. :)

I'm not really sure what happened, if I got burned out or busy or what, but I spent the last several months pigging out, not exercising, and generally being a sloth. The circumstances of the new year have helped me renew my efforts to lose weight and be healthy.On new year's eve, I got sick and developed bronchitis which had me home for a week. I realized that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and took this as an opportunity to better my life- so I haven't smoked since 1/1/05, and Mike quit too! :nono: :smoking: So we are now smoke free, going to the gym 3+ times a week, and eating better again. It feels very good. The year has been hard for several reasons so far, but I am so glad that I made the decision to quit smoking. And the best news is, I've lost two of the pounds I gained over the last few months- not gained (like everyone's so afraid of doing when they quit), but lost!!! :cp:

Anyway, that's a little synopsis of where I'm at right now. I'll be reading through everyones' posts to catch up with how you all have been. I can't wait to hear from all of you! :grouphug:

cw: 184

01-30-2005, 01:40 PM
:cheer: Welcome back Jessica!!!! :cheer:

Itís great to have you back with us! Congratulations on quitting smoking *and* losing weight this year Ė you must be very proud of yourself! (and Mike!)
So Ė whatís happening at the gym? Are you lifting weights?
And how is work? Still as busy with your big project?
Looking forward to hear more about whatís been going on with you!

Iím doing OK. I had a long Christmas vacation which I enjoyed, and have recently started up with my 16-weeks-hospital-practice. Which translates into a lot less time on my hands, and quite a few new challenges when it comes to exercise and eating. I have to rearrange things a bit right now. How do you solve going to the gym these days? Do you go before or after work?

As for my weight Ė Iíve successfully maintained since August/September, and Iím starting to think about losing weight again this spring. Itís weird Ė I felt thin at this weight back in August, but now I just feel like my fat, ordinary self at exactly the same size. Which means that it took my head a few months to catch up with my body! :smug:

But anyway! Very glad to have you back Jessica!!!

01-31-2005, 01:52 PM
Jessica yaaaaaaay! It's like a big happy reunion! So glad to see ya back and hear that you've made some great positive changes! Hope to see you around here more now.

Mette - The Excel spreadsheet, would you mind sending me a blank copy of how you set it up? I want to be able to format the columns and stuff to show the progress- and I am really Excel Illiterate. The one I made just lists the name of the exercise, followed by the weight used, and how many reps in each set. But there is no format to it, to follow the progress week byweek. If so, send it towards :)

Ang- Glad to hear ya seem to be hanging in there. *hugs* Thoughts are with ya.

As for me, I am back to hovering the 157 mark! Gahdangit. I float mostly around 155, dip sometimes to 153, then hover back at 157. Yes my eating could be better, but I've also started exercising. I in fact, made it to the gym TWICE last week and ... big proud moment. The precor machines were filled, so I hopped on the elliptical and lasted my full 20 minutes! Last year, when I started the gym, I couldn't last three minutes on that thing.

I am sore all over today and feel good about the exercising, I am even, almost getting into it now. But... again, the weight thing is driving me batty. I am trying not to get down on myself, but the fact I am no longer losing is really stressing me.

On top of that, my cycle is just completely screwy. I've been spotting now, for eight days, in the middle of my cycle, while still religiously taking my pill at the same time every day. That too could be playing havoc on my weight fluctuation, and lack of loss. They are going to try me on a new pill at the beginning of next cycle... whenever that actually comes, who knows.

In other news, my fish had babies again. It's going to be a huge project to get everything transferred to the new tank - (upgraded from 10-20gallon) and I hope I don't kill them in the process.

Off to lunch. See you girls later.

01-31-2005, 05:14 PM
Jessica - it's so good to have you back. Congratulations on quitting smoking. That is huge. It must help that Mike quit too. It sounds like you really have found a renewed vigor for being healthy and that is wonderful! Keep up the good work and I can't wait to hear more from you. You have been missed. :D

I am still on hiatus from being healthy. Life, darkness and cold weather happened and I stopped exercising. :( I have had some major adjusting to do with being in my new house over the winter. I have been making some progress on remodeling the house but it's slow. I finally got rid of old bf and now have a new one who is handy and helping me with some of the house stuff. I wish I could find a trigger to get healthy again like you did. Any other thoughts that you can share about what helped you turn things around?

My mother's cancer has spread and the doctors give her weeks to months. I went down to visit her this past weekend. All things considered I have a pretty good weekend. I am very glad that I went to see my mother. She is in good spirits and getting a little more mobile each day. I didn't stress about anything on Sunday, which was nice for a change.

mette - I'm glad your schedule will allow you to continue to work out in the mornings at least the two days a week. Your workouts seem very impressive. :)

Renee - I'm so proud of you for getting to the gym twice. What's change that gives you the motivation? I need to get in gear to 'catch up' with you ladies. :)

Congratulations on the the birth of the new fish! What kind of fish do you have?

Things at work have been very frustrating today. I'm trying to get a stats program to work and it's not behaving. I guess I'd better get back to it.

02-01-2005, 12:16 PM
Good morning, girls! I canít believe itís February already!

Ang Ė itís so good to hear that you had a good time with your mother. I thought about you a lot this weekend.

Renee Ė I sent you a copy of the format I use on my spreadsheet. Look at it and see whether you think something like that could work for you. The best thing is to modify it to fit your program/regime.
Itís pretty basic Ė and does what yours does: names the exercise, sets, reps, weight on a weekly basis. With weeks in the columns, exercises in the rows Ė well, anyway, you can hopefully see what it looks like by now! :D

And yeah weight. Iíve been thinking about when Iím supposed to start losing weight again Ė should I wait until summer? Spring? Start soon and get it over with?
I donít know if thatís the reason, but I have strong cravings for peanut butter these days. I can eat it with everything! I can eat it right out of the glass! And itís 100+ calories in one spoon *sigh*. I'm probably a little stressed...

Sorry about your weight, Renee Ė but at least you got lots of new fishes!!! :D

Iím off to do something useful. Lots of patients today. :p

02-01-2005, 02:36 PM
Hi Everyone. In some ways I am so glad it is February because January wasn't any fun, but with work deadlines approaching so fast I wish I had a few more days. Also, I kind of gave up on January and now I feel like I can't give up on February - I need to do something.

How nice for you mette that you get to help people with your line of work. I thought I would be able to make a difference when I started in my field (at least indirectly), but I'm beginning to realize just how little difference my research makes. It is probably one of the main reasons why I am not liking my job as much as I thought I would.

Renee - have you been going to the gym in the evening?

mette - I love peanutbutter too. Do you eat the natural kind? How are you feeling about your weight and body image these days? Recently you mentioned that your thoughts about your body had changed since the summer, do you feel more comfortable with your body now?

I'll try to write more later but I have a meeting in a few and an abstract to write by the end of the day so I'm off for now.

I have a lot of sun here and I hope you all do too.

02-01-2005, 05:28 PM
Hey ladies.

My gym routine is after work during the weekdays, and before lunch on the weekends when I go. I really like the atmosphere on Sundays, so much calmer.

The fish I have (which I just upgraded into a 20 gallon tank today) are Swordtails. They are a live bearing tropical fish and a lot of fun.

Eating today was MUCH better. Er, oops, forgot about those Burritos. Haha. Well, ok. That was breakfast, then bologna sandwich and an apple for lunch, and a clementine as my snack. Dinner is a shrimp thing that is real diet friendly.

I am glad it's February because it feels less like the middle of winter and more like I'm able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. :) I got my taxes back already, and spent them too. (I turned to spending during my sad January)

Mette I think you should start now. You've maintained successfully, and if your mind has shifted gears from the 'I did so great' to the 'I've not done enough' - then you might be able to use it as motivation. Could start slowly.

I am real sleepy right now, I think I'll get up and walk around heh. Alright, talk to you's later.

02-02-2005, 01:15 PM
Hello ladies, I dreamt about you last night! :D
I dreamt we met in a strange house with doors everywhere, and I kept getting lost and couldnít find the sofas where you were sitting. I tried to instruct myself to remember to tell you about the dream, this morning when I woke up (and it must have worked!). Heh...
Iím no Freudian Ė and I donít interpret dreams much Ė but lots of doors and getting lost; I suppose itís about feeling a little stressed out right now.

I do feel a bit lost at Ďworkí Ė and I hate the feeling of ďIím not really sure what Iím doing right nowĒ. And while I do know this practice is about being a student, being new, being a trainee, being there to learn Ė itís still stressful. A steep learning curve is interesting, good, challenging, etc Ė but itís still stressful.
And yes Ė Iíll stop complaining nowÖ ;)
I know itís a good thing that I get to work with people Ė and itís good to feel that what I do makes a difference. I totally understand what youíre talking about, Ang. Itís one of the main motivators for me too.
And sorry January sucked for you Ė hereís hoping February will be better!!! :hat:

I have to stop having peanut butter in the house (and yes, Ang: I prefer the natural, crunchy kind Ė do you?!). Are you able to have things like that in the cupboard and not eat it? Itís really one of the major triggers for me. I can let chocolate lie opened in the refrigerator for days without eating it, but the peanut butter disappears once itís in the house!

Renee Ė how many days are you planning on going to the gym a week? Are you following a set program? Congratulations on a good food day, btw!

I think Iím on the fence when it comes to losing weight right now. Iím a bit off in my eating Ė not much, but a little. And I have to figure out whatís going on with me, and how I can deal with the stress in a better way than eating (peanut butter ;) ).
Renee Ė youíre right though: I definitely could start thinking about changing the pace, and start thinking about the specifics. How would it change my present eating Ė what would change, how would that be, etc.

Ah, well. Have a nice Wednesday!

02-02-2005, 05:33 PM
I just wanted to say hi - I got a pretty good performance review today considering. Super busy - will try to get on later. I hope everyone is doing well.

02-02-2005, 06:08 PM
Mette- this will be my first week going 3x a week. I'm playing W, F, Su. as my days. I had pizza for lunch. It seems like I've totally fallen apart on the eating side of things. Which is sad since I've made such good strides with the gym and lifting. I think I need to sit down and write out my meal plans or something. Get back into habit. It's even more difficult because I know what success feels like, and not having it is killing me.

I've been debating about paying for a few PT sessions, if only to get a personalized metabolic reading and figure out what a healthy goal is. Maybe for me, weighing 150 and being fit is where I should be, and 130 is a goal that is only leading to failure.

Also mette- how quickly do you build muscle? If I wanted to keep track of my measurements now, how many weeks does it usually take to see a difference. I am slow to acknowledge progress, but hasty to judge it as 'failing'.

The lady for horseback riding lessons never called, and I'll take that as a sign from above to look elsewhere for sure. It's hard to find western riding lessons nearby me though.

Can't think what else to say right now. I am eating a bologna sandwich now, since I hit the gym right after work today. Maybe I will stop and get smoothie ingredients on the way home. I really want a rasberry smoothie.

02-03-2005, 12:46 AM
Ah crappy. Mette - can you email me that spreadsheet again? I saw it come in when I was at work, and now when I look for it, it's gone! :(

02-04-2005, 12:23 AM
Renee - do you bring your gym clothes to work? Do you ever problems with being hungry at the end of the day and then not wanting to go workout hungry?

Wow - taxes - I guess I should get on that soon. I guess just one more thing to add to the list.

mette - complain all you want. It's good that you can differentiate between acceptable/good stress from your job and bad stress. In a couple of weeks you'll wonder what all of the fuss was about. :) Just keep trying your best.

I like smooth/creamy peanutbutter. I'll eat the natural or Reese's. I have to admit that I like the R's better but I know it's not as good for you. I am VERY bad about not letting food sit in my house. It is one reason why I don't keep much food and a major part of my problem. If I have the food I eat too much and if I don't have it I feel deprived. It may be better to not buy it all the time. It's not really the kind of food that you can divide into portions unfortunately. Can you hide it? At least if you don't see it you won't be reminded that it is there. Although it may be a good idea to start thinking about how you would change your eating/life to lose weight again, I would not suggest you do it yet. You need some time to adjust to the "job" and the new schedule. Don't throw too many things in the mix just yet.

Renee - if you feel like you can't get the answers anywhere else, I would recommend that you splurge for the PT sessions. You are being so good about going to the gym and it would be great to keep up the motivation with realistic goals and an appropriate workout plan. Doing things "right" may also help accelerate your progress.

Today I was home because they finally came to finish putting insulation in my house. I needed to get it done but I couldn't afford the day off from work. I have a paper due Tuesday and it's barely started. I don't like the stress at all but I feel like I must do this. It winds me up though and makes it hard to sleep. May I join the club as someone who is not eating well? :( One of these days I'll get on track. I just don't really know why it hasn't happened yet. I guess it's because I eat to deny the emotions and thoughts that I have about the stress in my life. There's got to be a better way.

Goodnight Ladies.

02-04-2005, 02:02 AM
Hi ladies,

So much for being part of the group again!! Well, my grandfather has been very sick recently, then better, and then this week, sick again, so I've been spending my evenings with him and my grandma.

Ang, I'm sorry to hear your mother is not better. It is very stressful to watch family members suffer when there's nothing you can do for them. My grandpa is 87 so he's lived a good, long life, but he's determined to live to be 100, so he's going to fight every step of the way.

Other than that, work is still pretty good, although now that I don't smoke I'm realizing just how stressed out it gets me at times. In fact I literally broke out in hives the other day from the stress! Yikes! I'm listening to relaxation CDs, practicing deep breathing, and exercising, so I know that's helping at least a little. As long as I don't "stress eat," I'll be ok. Sounds like we are all definitely experiencing a lot of stress these days!

Mette: Congrats on reaching this phase in your studies; sounds like you will be learning a lot and yes, challenges can be good things!

Renee: Thank you for the welcome back. You have done REALLY well since joining this group, 30 lbs. lost!! That's awsome!

Allright, I hate to cut it short but I should get to bed. Talk to you all soon!

02-04-2005, 02:50 PM
Jessica, I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. Is there anything in particular that he is battling? I know that even a cold can be a problem for the elderly. I hope he gets better soon. You are lucky that you are close enough to see him so often. I am thankful that my mother can talk on the phone so we 'visit' everyday.

Renee - have you been able to get your spreadsheet set up for the gym?

mette - how was work this week?

I think I am going to paint tonight. If I can finish the touch up on the trim I will be done painting my living and dining rooms. It will be good to actually finish somiething in the house.

Work beckons...later :)

02-04-2005, 03:19 PM
Hi Ladies! Itís Friday at last. TGIF and all that!

Ang Ė youíre right as usual: itís good to differentiate between acceptable stress and bad stress. At least the acceptable stress has the potential of becoming something good! Hopefully youíre right Ė and it will all be over soon! Thank you for reminding me, I needed that!

Renee Ė I like your exercise plan a lot! 3 days a week worked well for me too. As for food: maybe you can keep your main focus on getting the exercise done for a couple of weeks, and just try to keep your eating resembling what you have eaten for the last days for now?
A few PT sessions sounds like an excellent idea too Ė and reevaluating weight goals is something I do constantly. I can see that Ang is 100% correct about this too, btw: and itís probably not the right time to do that when youíre really stressed out.

As for the speed of building muscle Ė you really have to ask somebody else! ;) (Jessica???) I have no idea! My focus has just been on getting stronger (which I have). I donít even do measurements. I know I'm getting fitter, but the important part for me is that I'm getting stronger!
From what I've read - progress takes time, one should be patient and all that - but it's all probably different for everybody! Ask the PT if you get one!
Iíll resend the e-mail if I can find it, I probably deleted it. Iíll see what I can do.

Ang Ė I think what you think: itís better for me not to buy the trigger food I think. Maybe I can keep it as a special treat and just not buy it very often. Like once every 6 months or somethingÖ :lol:

How did the insulation of your house go? Hopefully youíll be able to keep warm from now on!
I donít sleep well when Iím stressed either, Ang. I work with patients who live with chronic pain (different reasons), and with some of them I teach muscle relaxation exercises to help people control their pain a little better, since many patients have chronic unconscious muscle tension from living with pain. And the two weeks Iíve been there, Iíve been a little stressed out at times and havenít slept very well Ė so Iíve been trying out these techniques on myself at night, in bed, when I canít sleep. Sometimes they do help. Just focusing on your breathing and letting thoughts just pop up and float away without getting caught up in them can help me fall asleep.
Have you ever tried relaxations exercises, yoga, meditation, or similar things, Ang?

Jessica Ė Iím so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I hope heíll get better soon! It sounds very nice for you (and him) that you get to spend a lot of time with him and your grandmother, though.
All of us are living stressful lives these days! But at least youíre doing the relaxation exercises, Jessica! :D Good for you!

Iím off to do some more work. See you guys later. Have a wonderful Friday! :D

02-07-2005, 02:38 PM
Where did everybody go? :wave:

I hope you all had great weekends - mine was OK. I got some work done, and some house work too: a bit cleaning and tidying is always a good thing.
I just wanted to pop my head in and say ďhiĒ Ė I donít have much to say right now. Not having the best of days these days, but hoping theyíll get better soon.
Have good Mondays everybody! :^:

02-07-2005, 02:49 PM
Where did my posting go? I had posted on Saturday but it doesn't seem to be here. How frustrating.

My weekend was so-so because I was sick the whole time. I am still battling being tired and a cough but have to finish a paper by tomorrow so I am at work. It's hard to concentrate though and not much time left so sorry this is short.

On top of everything I did not get much sleep last night because Rhody's (farmer) neighbor decided to call me at midnight and accuse me of taking advantage of Rhody. The nerve. Especially considering I was sick, which I told her, who calls that late. I did not appreciate her attitude. I told bf about it (Rhody's nephew) and he was not happy. He may actually call her and tell her off a little. We'll see.

mette - what's wrong that you are not having the best of days? Talk to us...we want to listen.

mette - I went through a period of time where I bought almost nothing to eat in my house because I was too scared that I'd eat it all (because I would have). I just spent some time trying to be more 'normal' and the problems are coming back. I think I am going back to not buying anything for the house that isn't 'approved' until I can figure out how to control my feellings/life/eating. Overall you seem to have much better control but if there are certain problem foods sometimes you just can't keep them handy all of the time. How are your cravings these days?

BTW - the insulation is finally done at my house. I still have to have the inspection and complain about some broken shingles, but they are gone and the house can only be warmer. BF and I are now putting rollout insulation in the attic and have gotten 1/3 done. I think I may already be able to tell a little difference, although it could be the warm (40s) weather we're having.

Still having trouble sleeping. I have taken some classes in relaxation and breathing, etc. I think I'll have to try them again.

Take care everyone.

02-07-2005, 03:34 PM
Hi Ang Ė good to see you here, but sorry youíve been sick Ė and that you have to be at work when youíre not feeling well. :(
Sorry about rude neighbours calling in the middle of the night too! Really Ė who does that??? Calling up people for upsetting conversations at midnight? Good to hear the bf wasnít happy either!

As for me - Iím just feeling down these days. It feels like Iím not having enough energy. I canít remember whether Iíve told you that I started up in therapy again last October, and my new therapist is wonderful Ė I really like her. Iíve had periods of depression throughout my twenties and thirties Ė so Iím a bit scared that Iím on the verge of another long term depression. It helps to have somebody like my therapist telling me and reminding me that not everything repeats itself Ė sometimes things get better because youíve learnt better ways of coping. Iím not destined to get depressed again, even if Iíve been depressed several times before. So Iím trying to keep active and social, even if it means that I have to spend a lot of my energy doing things I normally do effortlessly.

And I have to clean up my eating too; eating really is the first thing to ďgoĒ when I get like this. The cravings get too hard to handle somehow Ė or maybe Iíve spent all my energy on other things. And I canít see that eating well makes me feel better in the long term Ė I can just see that eating makes me feel good/numb/relaxed right now. I think maybe Iíll get out my old food journal and start writing down what I eat, where I eat, why I eat, and how I feel when I eat it again.

Good to hear that the insulation is done! And good luck on your paper Ė hopefully youíll sleep better without rude neighbours calling! (And Iím sure that you know that sex is the best sleep medication ever!?!? ;) )

Take care!

02-07-2005, 05:53 PM
Hey ladies. Just checking in. Things are nuts lately. I had a lovely weekend and the new horse farm rescue place is great. I'll definitely return there.

Woke up sick on Sunday so skipped the gym and really kind of feel bad about it. Not sure I am ready to go back to it today, still a bit off.

Just called and went through the hassle of changing my gyne doc. I am tired of feeling like they won't work with me. They keep giving me the 'Lets try a new brand of Birth Control' approach when a) my mother and grandmother died of breast cancer and the link between the two is in constant debate b) my last pap came back slightly abnormal and c) I've been spotting for a full twenty days now. I mean really, can we get this sorted out for good?

The even more frustrating part was that I had to pay $20 to get the old office to release to mail me my OWN records! I hate our health care in this country, I really do.

Eating has not been good, but not been bad. Now that I am sick, I feel less motivated to make healthy choices, and just go for the easy ones.

Ending on a happy note, I went out with friends on Friday who had not seen me in four months, and they did a shot in honor of my weight loss and looking good. Everyone commented on it, and the one girl who started SBD with me said 'Hey skinny' when I walked in. It felt very good. And really makes me want to keep going. -Well, once I am over this cold.

Oh and mette - got the email, looks awesome. Way better than my crappy sheet did. Hehe. Thanks!

02-09-2005, 12:09 PM
Wednesday already. Just checking in. :coffee:

Renee Ė best of luck in your hunt for a new, improved doc. And good to hear that you liked the new horse farm.
I love to hear others' stories about weight loss and other people noticing Ė like your friends did the other night, Renee. But when it happens to me, Iím always embarrassed and end up explaining, making excuses, or just babbling! It seems I still havenít learned how to execute the simple and graceful ďThank youĒ! :^: Good to hear that you have!

Ang Ė hope youíre doing well with your stress and your paper and your neighbours and sickness!

Jessica - hope you're doing well too. And that your grandfather is getting better.

Nothing new here. Just long stressful days. I started reading the ďLuciferĒ series (graphic novels) by Mike Carey a while back, and I just got the 4th book of the series Ė so Iím looking forward to my coach, a blanket, possibly some hot cocoa Ė and a brand new book! Itís going to be the highlight of my week I think! :p

02-09-2005, 03:45 PM
Hi Ladies - still sick here so going to take another nap. I just wanted to say hello. I'll be back wihen I can stand sitting at the computer for more than 1 minute.

Renee - I hope you are feeling better.
mette - Are you enjoying your book?

I rented a couple of movies so I'm going to nap while watching one. :)

02-10-2005, 11:21 AM
Hey gals.

Ang- Ugh, I know how that goes, I've been fighting off a minor cold since Sunday. It hasn't gotten to the miserable stage yet, but enough to be annoying and make you tired and lazy.

And the only breafkast that feels good to eat on my sore throat is burritos! Bad me!! :p On the flip side, I am eating so little the burritos are not likely to really hurt me too much.

What has me more frustrated is how well I was doing with going to the gym, and now I haven't gone in 5 days because I've been too blah and sore and sniffly. I'm hoping that by this weekend, I'll be better.

Not much else going on, other than being really tired of winter. I need to find a place to live that has a shorter winter. This is too much. :P I need sun darnit!

Hope everyone feels better, gets better, etc etc. Talk to you guys later.

02-12-2005, 03:43 AM
Hope you guys are OK and doing well! :hat:

Iím starting to get into a routine and getting more of a grip on my days. I had some out-of-control eating days that kind of freaked me out for a while there. Iím always scared when I overeat completely out of control, because I always think that it will never end Ė and that Iím going to end up gaining 100lbs.
But right now, things are coming together a little, I think. So thatís my good news.

Sorry about the short post Ė I just got a surprise visit from my niece this weekend. Which was very nice.
Have great weekends everybody!

02-12-2005, 04:47 PM
Hi everyone,

Ang and Renee, are you both feeling better? I think we're all in the same boat!

I've had the flu since last Saturday. I finally started getting better on Wednesday of this week, went back to work on Thursday. That's the second time I've been really sick already this year. It's putting a bit of a damper on my "healthy" plan for the year, but I'll get through. I've used up all of my sick time and I'm sure they aren't thrilled in my office that I've been out, but what can you do?

Renee: Normally I'd tell you to come move to So Cal near me, but we've had so much RAIN this winter, it's not really the fun, sunny place it usually is. I hope your weather gets better soon.

Mette: I'm sorry you've been feeling down lately. I'm glad you like your new therapist, though. I know that it can really help to have a trained, unbiassed person to talk with when you're going through tough times.

Thanks everyone for their wishes for my grandpa. He's doing really well (considering the Dr. didn't think he would survive that first night) and is back in the nursing home with grandma. I haven't been to visit since I've been sick and hopefully will spend some time with them this weekend.

Other than that, not much new here. I bought a really awsome "Cooking Light" magazine that has so many delicious sounding recipes, I hardly know where to start. I better get my grocery list together!

Talk to you all soon!

02-14-2005, 12:06 AM
Hi there...sorry I was gone for so long but I stayed out sick the rest of the week and just wasn't on the computer. I'm off to bed now but wanted to say hello. I hope everyone is well and I will write more and respond to the posts I missed tomorrow (back to work).

02-14-2005, 10:46 AM
Hey ladies.

Things are going alright here. I am still hovering at the same weight despite no exercise and really, not too much of an eating regime. I am hoping to get back on track with it today - though the ice cream at home needs to go. :p

I had an alright weekend. I am feeling alright, but not yet fully better. I still get sniffles and at night, sometimes my nose heh heh, it whistles when I breath, and it wakes me up! :lol:

My sister is out of town until Thursday, meaning my bro-in-law will be doing the cooking. Last night he made chicken and fresh steamed cauliflower. Not too bad!

I am planning on getting back to the gym this week too. I hope I haven't lost my interest. :p Right now, I am sorta 'eh, I should go' - as opposed to the 'Oh I wanna go, so I don't miss a single day in my plan.' It's amazing how quick habits (that you didn't want) can fall back into non-existence.

Anyway, that's where we are for now. Been rainy, cold and damp for a week or so now. Bleeeeeh.

Here's to a good week for all of us!

02-15-2005, 03:07 PM
It's amazing how far behind you get when you get sick (or take vacation - or so I'm told :)). I'm finally feeling a lot better and getting back in control of work stuff.

Renee - how are things going with your new gyn? I hope you get that all straightened out soon. Issues like those can be very frightening. My mother had cervical cancer so I get a little extra anxious. You need to give yourself a break while you are sick. You were doing so well and you can get back to it. Unfortunately getting sick hit you at a bad time. Habits can come and go pretty easily. Try to remember what made you start last time and after a couple of times you'll probably be right back into it. You have a cool spreadsheet to fill in. :) Let us know when you get back to the gym.

mette - Was your eating a reaction to your stress? Do you feel better about school now? Have you done anything in particular to try to get things to come together for you? I hope you had a great weekend with your niece.

Jessica - Have you been able to visit your grandparents? How about the recipes? Any good ones to share? I actually cooked last night for bf. In some ways I am eating better with him around. We cook at my house semi-regularly so I am relearning what a pot is for. :lol:

Being sick is definitely not a good thing. Jessica - your coworkers can't blame you for being sick. You could've gone in and given it to them if they would have rathered. ;)

It is 50 and sunny here today and I am stuck inside. It's still nice to see the sun out of my window. Tomorrow I change offices and get a view of a horse farm! i can't wait.

Back to work - I finished the papers I was working on and now it's off to the next thing. btw - One of my papers was accepted for a conference in June. I will be going to Las Vegas - never been and kind of excited. I think bf may come with me. That would be a first (to have a companion on one of these trips).

I hope everyone is feeling better - new week, new opportunities.

P.S. sorry to include something not upbeat, but it looks like my farmer friend (Rhody) is dying. He has pneumonia in his nursing home and the doctors are 'making him comfortable" because he doesn't want to be revived. It's sad but probably for the best if he wasn't going to get much better. He hated being away from home on his tractor. I just don't deal with death well at all but I need to be there for bf. It could make for a very awkward time coming up.

02-16-2005, 02:44 PM
Öeven if Iím a bit late. I did have a nice weekend with my niece, spent Monday trying to study, and yesterday after work I went out for beers with friends. I donít drink a lot of alcohol so I feel a bit off todayÖ
Hope everybodyís feeling better and that youíre all back to your old healthy selves! ;)

Jessica Ė good to hear your grandfather is doing well.
Ang Ė great that youíre back in control at work, and big congratulations on getting your paper accepted! You go girl! :D
Sorry about your farmer friend though Ė must be hard for both you and your bf.

My eating was definitely a reaction to stress and the big change in my daily routines. The first two weeks at ďworkĒ was very stressful (I was scared most of the time Ė afraid to make mistakes, afraid that I wouldnít know what to do, afraid that Iíd make everybody worse, etc etc.) Ė I had to have some serious conversations with my anxiety to get some perspective on the catastrophes I imagined all the time.
After 3-4 weeks Iím calming down, and Iím getting into more of a routine with my eating, exercise, sleeping, etc Ė you know: the basic stuff.

To stop myself eating chocolate and cookies everyday I added good things into my evenings (I did all my overeating in the evenings after work): proper food to eat, cups of hot spicy tea, naps under the blanket, nice books to read, nice movies to watch, nice people to spend time with. And I didnít force myself to stop eating sweets Ė I knew that the eating was, on one level, my way of trying to give myself something good, trying to take care of myself in the midst of being stressed out. So I just tried to keep my eyes open (what am I feeling? What is the chocolate doing for me? How can I get that without overeating?), I recorded everything I ate Ė even when I had 3000+ days. In a week and a half I got my eating together again. And I didnít gain more than a pound or two.

It was the first out-of-control-overeating-period Iíve had in almost a year, and it scared me. I found myself afraid that I was going to eat, eat, and eat Ė and never stop.
Being able to put into use the stuff Iíve learned the last year, and break the binging-cycle early makes me feel very good about my ability to manage bad periods too. I feel safer. And Iíve found that I can live very well being somebody who overeats chocolate and cookies a couple of weeks when my life changes dramatically.

Iím off to do something useful. Have nice Wednesdays everybody!

02-16-2005, 04:25 PM
mette - I am so impressed with how well you are able to deal with things. You seem to know a lot about how to think through your issues. Congratulations on dealing with such a big change so well. Not only did you get through it relatively unscathed, but you seem to have learned a valuable lesson about your abilities. Good for you. I knew you could do it and now you know too. :)

I am moving offices today so it's been a little bit of an off day. It's good though because I am cleaning and organizing at the same time, which I needed. I feel like I can come in tomorrow and really get going now on work.

Still no exercising for me but a little bit better control of my eating. No true binges in a few days. btw - my mother's medication was changed and she seems to be doing a little better. Yea! I'll take everyday I can get with her and it's even better that she is relatively happy during her last weeks/months/or whatever. It's definitely quality and not quantity. When I start taking some control again I think there are a few lessons that I am learning through all of these trials.

Take care all.

02-17-2005, 11:18 AM
Wow, I have to agree with Ang, mette that is incredible how you can stop, take a look at things and work it out like that. Me? I made the mistake of buying a bag of easter candy for at work. Yesterday, after two days of eating 6+ eggs a day, I gave it to my coworker and said to keep it out of my office. I don't ever even necessarily want it. I just eat it. Boredom/stress related I guess. But how do I find alternatives to cope with that at work?

My saving grace yesterday was that I went back to the gym after my week off. (The being sick week) It amazed me how quickly you can fall out of shape, or maybe, that I had gotten into better shape in just three weeks of having gone consistently. I also discovered that I really like the lat pull down machine! I've been using my book (and my spreadsheet wee) and thinking about trying pilates. I don't want to mess with yoga because I am not really into that whole spirituality mind body yada yada stuff. Well, I mean, I have my own thing already and that stuff doesn't sit kosher with my current religious views. So I figured, pilates, for strength, flexibility and breathing - without all the meditational stuff. Maybe that'd be good for stress management/relief.

Hoping to get back onto a better eating regime. The house has suddenly reappeared stocked with ice cream and cookies and treats. It's like we all are falling off the wagon. It makes it so hard to avoid the bad stuff though too, and if I had the control to eat just one, or two.. ya know, moderate portions, maybe it'd be okay but this is insane.

Well, hope everything goes well for you all. Let's keep truckin' along on this journey! *phew*

02-17-2005, 01:13 PM
Renee - I have the same problems. I get hungry at work because I am sitting all day and get bored. I try not to keep food in my office to combat the problem but I still eat more (planned snacks and larger lunches) at work than I would if I were out and about. What do we do? Sometimes I wish I chewed gum. I also have the problem with having stuff in the house (like a bag of candy). I don't necessarily want it but it 'calls' to me and I eat it. Sometimes I think it has to do with feeling deprived and when it's there it's like a treat that I must have in case it disappears and I can never get it again (I didn't say it was a logical thought. :)). It's become a real problem because I want to buy things 'good' to have in the house for when bf comes over but then I eat the extras. It's really becoming a big problem because bf shouldn't have to suffer but he doesn't really understand my problem. He thinks I should just have will power (although he tries to be supportive and is very nice about it). mette - can you suggest anything for us?

Congratulations Renee on going back to the gym. :strong: :cp: :cb: I'm so glad that you liked it the first day back so maybe the habit will just start up again. It gives me hope that if I ever get off my butt I may remember enjoying exercise and start to do it regularly. I have done Pilates before and it is pretty good. I recommend it. Are you thinking of a tape or class? Mat or machine?

I haven't started writing things down at home so I'm going to start here a little for me. Comment or not, it's ok. I just need to start thinking more about my habits. It's a first step and I hope a decent first step.

Wednesday: busy day at work moving office with errands after work until 6:30pm
B - apple
L - turkey and cheese sandwich, orange, single serving chips, carrots
D - baked pasta dish with meat sauce, slice honey grain bread; too much pound cake
Note - I was too hungry when I got home and ate dinner too fast, not satisfied and possibly ate more cake to try and feel satisfied (mentally, not physically); no phone calls and felt alone

Thursday: got period yesterday and battling migraines and bloating and fatigue so not walking at lunch (at least that's the excise today)
B - apple
S - organic cereal bar
L - turkey and cheese sandwich, carrots, chips, apple (out of oranges :()

02-18-2005, 11:25 AM
Ang - how did the move into your new office go? Are you enjoying it? You seem to be dealing with your mother's illness well, and I love what you're saying about focusing on the quality instead of the quantity. I think we all probably should try to do that more.
Renee - congrats on getting back to the gym. I've heard good things about Pilates and stress relief too. It sounds like a very good idea.

My approach to my own overeating is that there's most likely some reason for it. So I try to figure out what eating feels like, what it makes me feel. I try not to focus on whether it's good or bad - just to be curious and open-minded, and try to see what's going on. What does eating make me feel like? And how can I get that feeling from other things? What other things will do that for me? Somebody probably react better to discipline, but when I'm overeating I nearly always do it because I feel small, tired, depressed, afraid, cold, etc. And I don't react well to discipline when I'm feeling like that: I react much better to warmth, TLC, things that feel good, taste good, smell good, instead. So for me it's about doing nice and kind things for myself. Not forcing the chocolate out of my fingers, not yelling at myself, not making everything around me bright, cold and hard (it's how I think of discipline! ;) ).

And I really understand what you're saying about feeling deprived, Ang. I do think you need to think long and hard about how you can give yourself something that feels valuable and good - that's not food. How to make you feel (the good things) food is giving you/makes you feel. Maybe without taking the food out at first. Just keep adding good things into your life, before you start taking out food. Since you emotionally depend on eating, maybe you need to build up your support system before you take support (food) away?
There really aren't any easier answers, are there?

When it comes to boredom eating, mindless eating, etc - I totally agree with what Renee is doing: removing the candy!
I'm also a believer in building good habits and better routines: and only eat when youíre 100% present and awake! :D
How to find better ways of dealing with stress and boredom at work? Good question! I want to know too! I try to clean up my environment (no candy or cookies at my desk!) and try to never get really, really hungry (several small meals/snacks during the day!). I also drink tea I really like: I have brought with me some spicy tea I love. And sugar-free sweets. And gum.
I used to eat candy at work before - and it's really a very bad habit. When 'sitting at my desk and working' became a trigger for eating chocolate I knew I was in trouble! I had to wean myself off it to make 'not eating candy' the normal state again!

And Ang: I don't keep stuff I binge on in the house either. Maybe I will be able to do that sometime in the future, but not right now. Will power has never been very useful or helpful for me - but clean/empty cupboards have! ;)

Starting to write down and think about your habits is a great place to start, Ang.
As for your eating Wednesday: I would have starved to death eating only 3 times a day, and only an apple for breakfast? Arenít you hungry?
I eat a small meal before I leave work in the afternoon so that I don't come home starving. I try not to get really hungry, because it triggers binging and feelings of deprivation. Just like you described you were feeling, Ang. Have you considered that maybe you're feeling deprived simply because you are depriving yourself? I think I would feel deprived too, if I didnít eat more than that.

My yesterday looked like this:
B: oatmeal, cinnamon, banana, milk, coffee (w/ milk)
S: orange, tea
L: sandwich with cheese, red peppers, 1 pear, tea
S: sandwich with cheese, 1 apple, tea
D: beans in tomato sauce, Ĺ onion, Ĺ red pepper, 6 champignons, 1 tomato, coffee (w/milk)
S: coffee & sugar free dark (bitter) chocolate, 1 orange
S: 1 cup of (sugar free, fat free, completely fake!) cocoa

Estimate: about 1600 calories. Not enough protein, but on the positive side: I wasn't really hungry at any time during the day. No feelings of deprivation, no binge-urges. I drank my water, I complained about the cold and wet weather, I got to sleep at a reasonable time. A fairly OK day. Low in calories because of the last weeksí calorie-overindulgence! :D

Have a great Friday, guys!

02-18-2005, 05:00 PM
The move was relatively easy since I had help from our facilities guys. I have more room and am settled in as well as in the old office. I still have some files to go through and such but they've been sitting for months so I'll get to them a little at a time. So far I like this office much better. Now, if I could only get some of my work done. :)

It isn't so easy to build up a support system. I am trying with the bf and I am meeting new people in my town but it takes time. I'm very insecure and have trouble getting close to people. I'm sure I'm one step away from making a person dislike me - I'm paranoid. Right now I'm trying to get to know two new women in town and it's so stressful. I don't want to push too hard but I don't want them to think I don't care about them either. Where's the line?

mette - what do you do when you have company if you want to offer them something to eat or drink? With special ocassions it is fine, but with bf over regularly I don't know what to do?

And mette - you've given me a lot to think about but I'm short on time write now so I'll comment more later on deprivation. I am going to try and keep up somewhat with this writing. Where was I....

D - piece of Italian calzone; pita with homemade dip of red pepper, eggplant, garlic, onion (very good); 2 truffles

B - high fiber cereal
L - chicken and provolone on croissant, brownie

I'm going out to dinner with bf and I'm craving a salad so we'll see. More later. Enjoy your weekends!

02-19-2005, 07:55 AM
I reread my post from yesterday Ė and I hope I didnít come across as offensive or something. That was really not my meaning at all.

Ang Ė I agree and sympathize with how hard it is to get new friends sometimes. I really wish you the best of luck with your two potential friends though Ė and please remember what a nice, warm and wonderful person you are. And that everybody would be lucky to have you as their friend! :yes:

When I wrote about building support systems I also thought about activities we can do to make ourselves feel good: naps, hot baths, stretching, reading, a shower followed by your favorite body-lotion, etc. And sometimes people are an important part of it too: having friends to phone up, visit, and hang out with can feel very good.
It all depends on what each of us specifically is using the food for, I think.
Which makes it hard for anybody else to suggest for us what we can do.
We have to try out different strategies on ourselves Ė and see whatís working and whatís not.

When I have friends over on normal weekdays I normally just offer them tea. And sometimes fruit. I used to buy cookies to serve with the tea, but it always ended with me eating rest of the box after people left. So I stopped doing that.
I really understand the problem with the bf Ang, but are you sure heís not fine with whatever food youíre already having? A sandwich, leftovers or fruit if heís hungry, and coffee or tea if heís not? What do you serve him now? Sweets and snacks?

Hope your dinned was good?

Have a good weekend, everybody! :smug:

02-21-2005, 01:52 PM
Ugh scale is up! I can't complain though because I ate out the entire weekend. Fries, burgers, hotdogs, ice cream, pizza. We just didn't have an eating plan, and no food in the house, so we all crashed!

This week I am hoping to remedy that.
B-Autumn Harvest Kashi Cereal w/ skim milk
L-Left over Orange Chicken w/ rice
D-Who knows, but it better be healthy

Went to the gym again yesterday and am changing up my plan a bit. Instead of doing a full body circuit, I am going to do upper body days, and lower body days, then abs/back day. Each day will have 25 minutes of cardio though. Was nice to change things up again.

I'm trying not to freak about being 2-3lbs up, and just tell myself it's from the million grams of sodium and crap in all that fast food. Heh.

We are missing a person at work today, so it's very busy. Hopefully, that will keep me from eating things I shouldn't be.

02-22-2005, 11:10 AM
Good morning (at least I'm trying to make it one :) ),

At the last minute I went to CT to see my mother this weekend. I got nothing done at the house of course, including e-mail. I'm backbut a little swamped - what else is new. :dizzy: What goes first? No time to worry about what I eat, going to the grocery store, etc. My eating while traveling was terrible (usually I didn't eat actually). Today so far I've had some cereal and I have a muffin in my bag for a midmorning snack. I know it's not the best snack but when I eat breakfast I get hungry by 10 or so and my brother gave me some delicious muffins over the weekend and I can't throw them out. Right? ;)

mette - I did not think you were offensive at all. I always love to read what you write. It helps me put things in perspective and if I take the time to really think about things I know that I have the knowledge in my head and the tools and you help with that - as do Renee and Jessica. :D Thanks mette for the nice words also.

One thing may be getting better - I did not eat anything after my bf left last night. I hadn't even eaten a large dinner but I wasn't hungry and I filled my time/mind with organizing some things for work and putting away laundry and such. The only bad thing was that it wasn't relaxing enough and it kept me up too long so I am tired today. I guess you can't have everything. One step at a time.

My bf is actually pretty good about food in the house. He supports me more than he cares about me having stuff for him. He actually likes these oranges I buy. Sometimes I keep kit kats for him (I don't really like them.) but he wants to get a little healthier so we agreed to not get them for a while to try and have better choices around. The issue is all mine - he has never complained once about food in the house (or lack of). We are trying to go grocery shopping together some to buy food to have that we can cook together or have on hand. We're going tonight so I have to work on a list this afternoon.

Renee - I hope you enjoyed your weekend. You seem to have a good attitude about getting back on the horse with your eating. Your plan for the day sounds good. I hope you can find something healthy for dinner too. Congratulations on getting to the gym again. Are you having fun again?

mette - how was your weekend? Has work settled down a bit?

02-23-2005, 03:34 PM
Hey gals!

Well last night I went to my very first Weight Watchers meeting and I am so excited. I did WW's a few years ago and had a lot of success. I am a total geek, and organize-freak; so the whole tracking, journaling, listing, looking is really kind of fun. Most importantly, it has reset my mindframe, and I am motivated and -wanting- to do right with this program.

My ortho appt. went really well too, because they told me I am down to my last couple months. Holy cow, that is way ahead of schedule. I keep telling myself not to 'pick' a date in my head, but it's so hard not to go, ...Oh if I do this right, I could be fit AND braces free this summer.

So, I had McDonalds for breakfast. But, only /one/ burrito, because two would have KILLED my points for the day. My bologna sandwich for lunch. Chicken and Cauliflower for dinner. And then I can have a snack. I think I will buy some WW's Ice cream dishes.

Still doing the gym. Starting to get more excited about it. Not sure if I want to stick with the body parts on a certain day idea, or continue with my full body circut followed by cardio. When I do just upper body, I add more things in for upper body, but get physically exhausted after so few things - because it's all focused on just those muscles. I can't do any more that day, but I don't wake up sore. If that makes sense? I liked it better doing a bit of everything, and having a few spots sore.

Well, that's it for now. :) Good luck and good work ladies.

02-23-2005, 04:28 PM
Hi Everyone!

I just wanted to say hello. Trying to stay focused at work and get something more done before I leave today. Had a good dinner last night (steak and beans) and ate nothing again after bf left for the night. I am getting a little bit better hold of my eating. Now if I could just get moving I might be able to stop gaining weight. This morning I had a muffin :(, lunch was a turkey and cheese sandwich, chips :( and apple. I said some control, not total control. :lol: I am trying to cut back but still feel satisfied and I do that by allowing myself to have small portions of 'good' stuff like chips.

Renee - what made you decide to go back to WW? I also did it with some success a couple of years ago. I have a couple of friends who invited me to go with them now buy I have been reluctant (I'm cheap and I'm not sure I want to giv eup my saturday mornings for the meeting.). Your attitude sounds great. Keep it up. Did you join with anyone? Can you still do SBD on WW or have you given up on that? I can't say I followed about the gym, but it seems like you should do the exercises that make you feel best so you keep going. You're not training for competition so I can't imagine one way really makes a difference over another way. Just keep going and lifting. :)

I don't think there is anything wrong with hoping to be fit and braces free by summer, just as long as you are realistic and able to adjust if necessary as the time comes. You don't want to make a good thing a negative if things don't go completely 'right'. The right thing is the best that you can do and no more.

Mette and Jessica - how are your weeks going? I hope all is well with everyone. My mother is not doing great and I'm knee deep in family stuff. The child becoming the parent - not fun.

Take care.

02-24-2005, 01:20 PM
My week is busy, but fine. I have new patients almost every day now, and itís time consuming to try to keep on top of everything. Iím sorry that Iím not posting much during the week, but it seems that the only time I have to hang around the internet these days is during the weekend. I canít believe itís Thursday already Ė where did this week go? Iím sorry my post is short too Ė Iíll try to write more this weekend. But itís always good to hear that everybody is doing fine!

Ang Ė it is good to hear that your bf is supportive about your food and eating. He really does sound like a good guy. ;)

Renee Ė congratulations on re-joining WW. Itís wonderful to hear that youíre so excided and motivated!!! As a fellow-geek I like to organize too Ė so I totally get that! :D

About the gym Ė I actually like the more focused exercises: having a leg day and a upper body day (chest and arms). But I always get sore! I agree with Ang though: itís good that youíre figuring out what you like, what works best for you.

Ang Ė also great news that youíre getting a better grip on your eating.
Iím still sending warm thoughts your way: and I hope youíre still able to take care of yourself in the midst of your motherís illness. :grouphug:
Iíll write more this weekend. Take care, girls! :wave:

02-24-2005, 03:51 PM
mette - as much as we miss you, I think we all understand busy lives. You have to take care of yourself first.

I'm justing stopping to say hello myself as I need to get some work done (long meeting this morning got me behind for the day) and because I'm feeling a little discourage about life at the moment.

Last night I was alone but still ate just my dinner. I hope this is a trend that continues. Tonight I am going out with a friend to get salads for dinner and then hanging out with more friends to chat so I think I'll be safe tonight with food. Today I couldn't say no to the free muffin at the meeting and then I had to eat my breakfast muffin at lunch - way too much food but I couldn't stop myself. My new 'big' clothes are now tight and I'm so frustrated with myself. I don't think I've gained any weight in the last week but it needs to come off. I did walk today for 25 at lunch with a coworker so that's a step in the right direction. Sorry to complain so much today but on top of everything I found out that my tax refund is going to be about half as much as I thought and I was counting on that money. Considering I bought a new house this year I should have gotten a lot more of my mortgage interest back. Do any of you do your own taxes? I'm trying to do my own because I don't want to pay $235 to have someone else do them.

If we could just get some warmer weather I could get outside some. I just lost all desire for exercising in this cold. I know, I should join the gym. The sad thing is that I can join the YMCA for two weeks free. Even if I didn't stay with the Y, by then it would be mid-March and probably warmer. How come sometimes we know what to do for ourselves but we consciously choose not to do it and to keep punishing ourselves?

Sorry for the rant but it's been a bad day all around. I'll be better next time - promise. I hope everyone is having a good time today.

02-25-2005, 12:51 PM
Hey guys.

Well the decision to go back to WW was because I stopped doing SB. I got frustrated with not having the freedom to eat whatever. Especially when having to prepare and make everything from scratch is so burdensome.

Five years ago, when I was at my goal weight and very active. I was doing WW and it worked well. So, I figured, if I want to keep pursuing this goal, and the one plan stopped, I need to get a new plan in there. I like that if I want to eat something awful, I can... as long as I moderate other things to allow for it.

So far so good. Though I have to get over the mental block all over again. :) I'll write more later, I am so addle-brained today.

02-25-2005, 03:34 PM
Ang: this is the perfect place to rant! Just come back and rant any time you need to! Sorry I donít have much time to comment right now though. Iíll get back to you! Hope youíre having a better day today!

Renee: having certain foods I canít touch doesnít work for me either! Itís the reason why I base my diet on counting calories Ė and just like you say: I can eat anything, but if I eat something with lots of calories there will be less to eat for the rest of the day. Wish you the best of luck with your new plan and new beginning! :D

Jessica: are you doing OK? Still keeping away from the cigarettes? Hope everything is going great for you!

Talk to you guys again later! :smug:

02-26-2005, 09:12 AM
Saturday at last! :D
I have no big plans for the weekend: just some errands, some reading, and meeting up with some friends later. Iím going for a nice and slow weekend.
Do you guys have plans for the weekend? Renee, what happened to the horse riding? Did you find a place you liked?

Ang: I hope your Friday was better than your Thursday, and that youíve regained some of your usual optimism. Itís really no wonder that you get down some days, with everything thatís happening in your life, but I hope you have some good days tooÖ
Have you considered at all that right now maybe isnít the right time for you to lose weight and start going at the YMCA? Maybe just keeping your weight stable and treating your body nice - with the things youíre already doing (good food, sleep, walks, meeting friends, etc) is enough right now? Itís like you said to me last month: maybe trying to lose weight and starting new exercise regimes when weíre stressed out isnít such a good idea. I donít know, Ang Ė you obviously know best. But itís always easier to ask somebody else to be kind to themselves Ė itís harder to start treating ourselves kindly; and much easier to punish and blame.

I have been reading bits and pieces lately, and have been reading some of ďThin for life. 10 keys to success from people who have lost weight and kept it offĒ by Anne Fletcher. I know Iíve talked about the book before, and I still havenít read more than the first 6 keys Ė but I really do recommend this book to anybody whoís trying to lose weight, and want to keep it off for the rest of their lives. And this would imply everyone here, wouldnít it? ;)
Itís a very practical book; filled with good ideas, advice, and strategies Ė both cognitive and behavioral strategies. Very motivational, but at the same time very focused on the fact that itís going to be hard work to both lose and maintain the weight loss. The book is being discussed key for key in the Maintainersí Forum these days.

Which other forums here at 3FC do you guys read, btw? Apart from ďThe PactĒ I also read the Maintainers and The Ladies Who Lift. Renee, didnít you use to hang out in the South Beach Forum? And Ang in the Exercise Forum?

Well anyway. The other book Iíve been reading is ďRevolting Bodies? The struggle to redefine fat identityĒ by Kathleen LeBesco. Itís sort of a discursive analysis, a discussion around why being fat is looked upon as it is in our culture. So far itís fairly interesting. I love the authorís pro-fat attitude and the refreshing view that if culture thinks fat is wrong, then maybe itís the culture something is wrong with Ė not the fat.
Iím so used to reading about Ďthe horrors of the obesity epidemicí, Ďthe awful health consequences from obesityí, etc Ė that itís surprisingly refreshing to look at the issue from another perspective.

Wish everybody a very nice Weekend!

02-27-2005, 02:03 PM
I just wanted to stop in to say hello. I ended up taking friday off from work and just relaxing as best as I could. I had to shovel my drive because of the snow but otherwise it was restful. It hasn't been the best weekend, however. I have a big family/lawyer meeting tomorrow in CT (4 hours of driving) that is causing stress and bf was going to go with me, but my farmer friend Rhody died last night. It is adding to my stress. Since bf is his nephew there are family obligations he has for the next few days so he cannot join me tomorrow. Of course I am sad about Rhody, but I am also upset that I will not have any support with my family and I have to do all the driving alone and we're supposed to get more snow tomorrow. When will the winter ever end?!!!!

Mette - You're right that this week is not the time for me to try and lose weight, but I can't afford to gain anymore either. I barely fit into the big clothes and I have NOTHING nice to wear for this funeral. I just want to crawl into a hole right now.

I don't know how internet accessible things will be for a couple of days but I'll try to check in and comment more on what's going on with everyone. mette - I hope you enjoyed your weekend. After a stressful week you deserve some R and R.

Renne - When I did WW a couple of years ago I had to count points. Is that basically what they are doing now? I still have all of the books so if I didn't want to go to the meetings I could still try it again. Good luck and keep us posted.

I don't keep up with any other forums right now. If I ever start running again I would go back to that forum (or some exercise forum). Same if I started WW or some other diet plan. mette - the books you mentioned sound interesting. I think I'll have to check out the Anne Fletcher book. When do you find time to read? Renee, do you read much?

I'm off for now. I'm trying to be motivated to do something but it's not working very well. I haven't even taken a shower today yet and I'm not sure I want to. I really need to go grocery shopping though. Ugh!

Take care of yourselves.

02-28-2005, 05:33 AM
Ang, best of luck with your meeting and drive! :grouphug:
So sorry to hear about your farmer friend. These are truly stressful times for both you and your bf! I just hope youíll be doing OK these next days, Ang!

Tomorrow Ė on March 1st Ė Iím officially back on another (and hopefully my final) ďlosing weight periodĒ. I did sort of a test-run this week, and it was surprisingly hard to get down from 1800-1900-2000 calories to 1500 again. Funny, it didnít feel like such a difference when I increased daily calories last fall! ;)
My goal weight Ė I have no idea if itís completely off or not Ė but I had to put something down. Guess Iíll just have to see, right?

Anyway Ė hereís wishing everybody a good and snow free week! :smug:

02-28-2005, 11:33 AM
Hey ladies!

Things are going well for me here. I haven't situated riding lessons yet, but that's okay. I want to find the perfect place and that may take a while. I also might end up having to take English lessons, which would be even more of a work out, but eh.. posting is so hard on the legs. (Good leg work out)

Weight Watchers has two plans. Core and Flex. Core is surprisingly like South Beach, and doesn't count points, except for foods off the core list. So it's like 'eat healthy foods till you are satisfied' - but you're allowed to have non healthy foods but no more than the 35 flex points per week. Flex is the point counting one, which is what I am doing. At my weight, I get 22 a day. Then you have 35 points for the week that you can use anywhere. If you plan right and eat the right foods, 22 is plenty. I usually end up HAVING to have dessert to meet the minimum. I saved my flex points for the Hibachi steak house on Saturday, and didn't even use them all. And yesterday, since my breakfast was light and I chose light snacks, I even had Dairy Queen after my meal. Course, I couldn't have my large shake, but I was surprised to find that finishing off a small sundae proved taxing.

Since the week being back on a 'watch what you eat' plan -(as opposed to a, 'beh, whatever plan') I am back down to where I was when I stopped following SBD. That feels so great. I feel like I am making progress again. I'm a little nervous about my weekly weigh in at the meeting though, since I weigh myself first thing in the morning, and that meeting ends up RIGHT after dinner! >.< I'll have to plan a light, non-salty day for meeting days so that I am at least not retaining water. Haha.

Ang- Hang in there hon. Maybe just do as best as you can eating wise until things calm down. Try to make the healthier choices, but don't ride yourself too hard. I bet that once summer (even spring) comes, everyone will get a boost of feel good and get going! We haven't had the snow the northeast has, but we have had no sun all winter. It really really wears on you.

I'm trying to plan my horse back riding vacation. I dunno how to do it, because they prefer 2 persons per reservations, and the few close friends I have wouldn't hanlde a riding vacation. So they have a womens only ride, and maybe I'll do that. But I am soooo shy and withdrawn that I worry I'd be miserable and not know how to socialize.

I'll have to keep thinking on it.

I used to hang out in SB Forum yah. And I may check out WW next time I get bored at work. I always post a few times then vanish and just hang out on here with you guys!

Alright, back to work for me. It's slow, and things are going by at a snails pace.

03-01-2005, 08:12 AM
Popping in to say hi!

Renee Ė itís so great to hear that things are going well for you! Your diet sounds extremely nice: *Having* to have dessert to meat the minimum??? Very nice indeed! :D
How many meals do you eat per day? And do you have any idea how many calories 22 points equal?

And I do agree that once spring and summer comes, everything will be easier food wise! Iím looking forward to warmer days and less clothes too!

Ang Ė if youíre reading: weíre all thinking of you!

I have to get going. Talk to you guys later.

03-02-2005, 04:20 PM

mette- The points figure in fat calories and fiber to equal a WW point etc. So you might have 200 calories, but 0 fat and 6 fiber, and it's going to be less points than 100 calories 15fat and 0 fiber. It's sort of a tricky way of getting you to make healthier choices in order to get ' more out of your points ' hehe.

My first weigh in, showed me having 3.8lbs lost last week. WOW! Not bad. I think I can stick with this.

The sun was out today, so I took my sandwich out to the car. It was soooo nice for a change.

I need advice though, on how I might be able to persuade my bosses to let me move into the spare office that has a window. I know it would get a better performance out of me. I was thinking of having my doctor write a note, but not sure they'd do that. "You want me to write a note saying you need a window office?"

But it weighs so heavily on me NOT having it. It would make a positive difference.

03-03-2005, 12:26 PM
Renee: congratulations on your weight loss!!! :hat: WOW indeed!!! Excellent work!
As for the window office: canít you just ask your boss for it? If nobody else uses it? I remember you talking about your boss before, and if I remember correctly Ė heís not always nice and helpful, is he? Maybe you can tell him youíve got SAD and say you need the light?

Nothing new with me. Just same old, same old. Itís too cold to go outside in the evenings so Iíve started rewatching X-files season 7 episodes: on the coach, under the blanket, hot tea or cocoa, and Mulder and Scully solving weird cases make for warm and cozy afternoons and evenings! Iíll go back to doing social stuff when spring is here! ;)

Ang: hope you're doing OK! :wave:

03-08-2005, 11:03 AM
I hope everybody is OK.

I think Iím getting sick again Ė another round of the winter cold. Iím a bit worried about that; I donít have time to get sick now! Everything else isÖ fine, I suppose. I donít enjoy my practice much these days, so Iíve started counting down and looking forward to when Iím done. Iím also looking forward to Easter, and some days off.

Hope youíre both doing fine too; whatever youíre doing and wherever you are.

03-08-2005, 12:18 PM
Today is weigh in number two, and with it being my TOM, I am so afraid it won't show any progress.

Eating an apple right now. I don't really like them, but I am trying to get more fruits in my diet.

Still waiting for winter to end. We got teased with some 60's on Sunday and today it is 25 again. I need to relocate to someplace that only has 5-6 months of winter.

Work is going alright. Eating is alright. I am staying on plan, though honestly I think I need to vary my points a bit. I am hovering at the minimum too often and the body is setting in to 'this is all I'm getting? Ok, I'll slow down' mode I think.

Tired of weights, but really enjoying the cardio side of things. I might focus on aerobics a little more and tone down the lifting until I shed a few more pounds.

Hang in there ladies!

03-11-2005, 05:57 AM
Not much happening with me this week; Iím still trying to fight off a cold so I sleep as much as possible and drink a lot of tea.
Renee Ė hope your weigh in went well. Good to hear both work and eating are going well.
Ang Ė hope youíre doing well too Ė wherever you are.

Iím looking forward to the weekend! Nothing new there! And if I could get rid of this cold everything would be so much better.
Hope youíre both having a good week. Iíll try to write more this weekend.

03-11-2005, 07:22 PM
I'm sorry I was gone for so long but I had to suddenly go to CT for my family. I just got back and I'm wiped so I'll provide details hopefully tomorrow. The bottomline is that my mother passed away and my father has been in the hospital for the past week with gallbladder problems (he is recovering from surgery now but missed her death, wake and funeral). It has been a tough two weeks but just give me a little time to refocus and I'll get back to life and hopefully I'll motivate myself to continue with a better life, a fresh start.

I haven't even read any posts but I hope you all are doing well. I'll be back soon.

03-12-2005, 08:07 AM
So sorry to hear about your mother passing away and your fatherís illness, Ang. Itís very good to hear from you, and you should Ė of course - take all the time you need to rest, refocus, and do whatever you need to do. Did the bf come down to be with you?

Iím still sick and sleeping most of the time; Iím off to bed again now. Weíll talk later.

03-15-2005, 01:35 PM
After a tough weekend I am back at work and trying to get back to my life and figuring out how it is going to be different - because it will definitely be different. I'm a little stressed about my 'relationship' with my father but only time will tell what happens.

How was everyone's weekend? mette, are you feeling better yet? Have you been able to adjust to the new caloric level? It is amazing how easy it is to add in calories fast, same with weight in general. It goes on so easily and it takes so much effort to get it off. I have the same problem as you about trying to determine what my goal weight should be. I've never been the 'right' weight so it is hard to tell. I don't know that charts and tables can really tell for people individually. Hopefully you'll know it when you get there. :) Renee, how did you determine your goal weight?

Renee, what are you eating that you have 'extra' points? When I counting points for WW it wasn't that easy for me. I'm so happy that this plan seems to be working for you. Are your sister and brother-in-law still doing SBD? How was your second weigh-in?

Renne - did you decide about your vacation? It sounds like you really love to ride. Sometimes we have to go out of our comfort zones (I'm shy too so I know what you are feeling about going alone) to get things we really want. I say go for the women's ride. You will be with other women who may be alone so it may make it easier to meet people.

Renee - did you ask your boss about the office yet? You could probably get your doctor to write a note that says you have SAD and would greatly benefit from more exposure to sunlight. We have office issues here too so I know it's not always as easy as asking. You have nothing to lose by asking though, especially if you strongly believe you would benefit in the new office.

Where is spring? I got a foot of snow over the weekend and it's still only in the 30s. It should be in the 40s by now. It's so frustrating. I need to get moving because I have been eating too much since my mother died. I know I'm trying to fill time and the void inside, hopefully now that I am home things will get better and more 'normal' for me. mette - I like your idea of watching t.v. and just staying warm and cozy. Maybe I'll get some dvds and try that. I do love hot chocolate.

mette - why aren't you enjoying your practice? What is happening? Do you have plans for Easter? Will you get a week off for a spring break? Did you do anything fun this past weekend or were you still getting over the cold the entire weekend?

I was very happy to have the support of friends and bf during my mother's illness and last days. My bf came down one day and 'met' my mother before she passed away. I'm not sure she knew he was there but unfortunately he couldn't get there any earlier because of his own situation. He came back down again for the funeral even though it was snowing pretty hard. I really appreciate his efforts. He has been as supportive as possible. Hopefully things will settle down a bit in both of our lives so we can have some fun and concentrate on our life together. We are planning a weekend get away the first weekend of April. Hopefully that will transpire and be fun. I really need a couple of days of doing nothing and not being in my own house. No worries.

I hope you are all well. I'm going to try and walk a little bit and then maybe get some actual work done this afternoon. Take care.

03-15-2005, 04:05 PM
Hey ladies.

Things are going 'okay' for me here. Tonight is weigh in number three and I am just terrified, again, that I haven't lost weight. First week was 3.8lbs, last week was 4.0lbs, so I really can't complain either way. I have this thing though, where if I don't lose at least a little, I think I am doing something wrong and will never lose again. That's what really scares me.

As for foods. I am hooked on the Weight Watchers cereal or oatmeal for breakfast. Both of which are 2pts. I do yogurt snacks or smoothie snacks, again 2pts. My fat free bologna sandwich and fat free pringles, gives me a 5pt lunch and then I end up usually short for dinner. I am working on getting some more healthy points in through the day.

Hope things continue to move ahead for you. It's always hard to just turn around and jump back into routine after big, stressing events. Keep loving yourself though and make sure you do things that are good for you. Physically, and emotionally. (Even if that means not being too strict on diet issues yet)

I may go for the ride if I can get enough courage to do so. But boy would that be a big step for me. HUGE. Heh. Window office. Bleh. I'll wait till after reviews. If I don't get a raise, maybe I can use it as a 'well since you couldn't do raises this year, can we perhaps reward my performance with giving me the spare window office'.

Well. That's all for now I guess. Hang in there gals.

03-16-2005, 01:44 PM
Hi girls! Iím still barely hanging in here Ė I have some kind of bug I donít seem to be able to get rid of. I still go to work, but Iím not doing much more than that: Iím still sick. Iím feeling exhausted all the time. The weight loss thing is going nowhere right now: I have to wait until Iím well again I think.

Ang Ė itís so good to have you back! And you know, that feeling youíre describing; trying to figure out how your life is going to be different now Ė I recognize it from when my brother died 5 years ago. I remember coming back home after the funeral, getting ready to start my everyday life again, and everything had changed Ė so I needed to change my everyday life too. Strange. I had forgotten about that. I wish you the best in getting your life back together again, Ang. And itís so good to hear that you have gotten a lot of support from friends and bf.

Iím going to have next week off, so Iíll go visit a friend for a few days. And hopefully have some productive days at home too. Right now Iím doing nothing productive at all Ė I just get onto the coach and stay there until itís time to go to bed again Ė so that I can get up the next day and do the same thing over again: get up, shower, eat, go to work, get home, eat, sit on the coach, go to bed.

Do you guys have plans for Easter?

Renee Ė itís great to hear about your weight loss and how well youíre doing with your eating. Your fear that youíll stop losing forever if you stop for a week Ė is that something you think will go away if you actually experience that it isnít true? Sooner or later youíll probably have a week where you donít lose any weight, but if you keep up the diet youíll probably lose again the week after. Or is that where you usually fall off the diet? I know that most of my irrational fears (and it is an irrational fear, Renee! ;)) go away when proven wrong. So that next time they pop up, I can remind myself that they arenít true.

03-17-2005, 02:44 PM
Renee - your progress on WW is amazing! Congratulations. :cp: How did the most recent weigh in go? It doesn't seem like you eat a lot of food. Are you ever hungry? Do you get used to eating less? Are you making dinners for yourself or buying prepared food? Keep up the good work! I really hope you go on your ride and/or assert yourself to try and get the window office. You deserve to have these things and you need to go get them. I have definitely learned that nothing is given to you if you don't speak up. I know it is hard buy what's the worst that could happen? :?:

mette - I'm so sorry you still aren't feeling well. Of course the weight loss stuff has to wait while you take care of yourself and give your body what it needs to get better. Are you getting enough sleep? Don't forget your vitamins. I hope you get better soon. :balloons: :grouphug: A week off sounds great! I hope you have some fun and don't worry too much about not being productive right now. Your energy needs to go to you and not your home. The home will still be there later.

Things here are moving along, albeit slowly, but still progressing. I'm back into work and starting to get moving again on house projects. The family stuff is there too but I try to compartmentalize a little so it doesn't drag my whole day down.

My nephew's birthday is on Easter so I am going down to CT to see them. It will also mean that I can see my father and help my brother do so more stuff regarding my mother's stuff. mette - what are you doing for Easter? Big dinner somewhere?

I'm trying to watch what I eat a little bit better now. A couple of days ago I ate too much and disgusted myself. It is about time I realize that the immediate benefit from eating what I want doesn't outway the horrible consequences. I still can't exercise though because my foot hasn't healed. I'm wondering if I broke a bone when I fell. It's been over two weeks now and there is still some pain. What do you ladies think? Right now I'm able to walk and just doing the waiting game.

Back to work for now. Take care.

03-18-2005, 12:26 PM
Hey ladies.

Going well so far. Real busy, so will try to post super quick.
Ang- I am not usually hungry. Veggies are 'free' or zero points, so I fill up on them at meals. I have slowed down how I eat, instead of scarfing, really taking my time. Lots of water, and snacks are back in the picture. If you go low fat foods, your points don't get outta hand.

-Have fun over the holidays, I hope you are able to enjoy time spent with family and that everything doesn't weigh you down too much. Keep moving ahead.

-Mette- Get better dangit! Have you seen a doc about your longstanding cold? You're totally right, it's impossible to worry about eating and exercising right when you are not feeling at least 90% in working order.

Last weigh in showed that I am still losing, but only 1.6lbs - which I must remember myself, is a GOOD AMOUNT OF WEIGHT LOSS FOR 1 WEEK. I cannot think that I will lose 3-4lbs a week, that isn't realistic, and may not even be healthy. Slow and steady. Like the turtle. So total for 3 weeks is 9.4 - I am pretty proud of that. I am getting scared about reaching my goal weight, as it is creeping closer.

I am thinking between 130-135. Which is 15-20lbs away roughly. I am afraid I will get to where I need to be, and still not like how I look. My legs still look chunky, my shoulders and back have chub and my belly a pooch. I suppose 20lbs could whiddle these last areas away, but I am not very hopeful.

Anyway, thats me in a nutshell. Have a great, safe, happy, healthy weekend!

03-20-2005, 10:51 PM
Renee - it really seems like you have this eating thing down. Congratulations. I'm working on mine. I'm pretty good with breakfast and lunch but evenings are still tough. I am also addicted to chocolate, which isn't good for the waistline.

Are you still exercising, Renee? Did you up your aerobic activity like you planned? We're finally starting to see the sun so I'm hoping to get outside more. Yesterday bf trimmed a big pine tree in my yard. I helped move limbs and such for two hours. It was definitely a workout and felt really good. I even felt a little sore today - good feeling. Tomorrow is supposed to be rainy though so probably no walk at lunch. :(

1.6lbs is awesome, especially so close to your target. Renee - what scares you about reaching your goal weight? Is it just that 130 might not be accurate? There is nothing magic about 130-135. As you lose weight just be realistic about how you look. Your goal weight should be where you are healthy and happy about your body. Just keep doing what you are doing and as you lose you can keep evaluating your situation. You're doing great right now and that's what matters. Don't worry about the scale or try to guess where the finish line is. You need to be healthy forever.

mette - how are you feeling? I hope you were able to get some much needed rest this weekend and get healthier.

I had a pretty good weekend. I spent time with bf, cleaned my house some, went shopping with a new friend and bought a couple of blouses and found out that my farm isn't going to be available this year. :( oh well...I'm going to do a big garden in my backyard instead. It won't be quite as big but I'm hoping for a couple of hundred plants. It should be enough to have some fun and eat some good veggies. The only sad thing about the weekend was that I HAD to buy new clothes for the spring because the ones from last year won't fit comfortably. I hated buying XL again after buying M and L 2 years ago. I am really trying to eat better but it doesn't always work. Thanks for your continued support though. You are inspirations.

Happy Monday to all! :)

03-23-2005, 02:11 PM
Hi Everybody.

Where are you? Are you off in the sun having fun?

Things here are about the same. I am struggling to finish a paper due next Tuesday (behind because of being away for 2 weeks) but otherwise things are ok at work. My brother is stressing me out a little about family stuff but I'll deal with it. I'm going to visit this weekend for Easter/nephew's birthday so I'll get caught up on what is happening.

mette, are you feeling better yet? Is this your week off or is it next week?

Renee - how is work? Did you have a fun weekend? Any decision about the riding vacation yet?

Jessica - are you still out there? I hope you are doing well.

03-23-2005, 05:39 PM
Work has been really crappy this week girls. My weigh in yesterday was even LESS of a loss, only .8 of a pound. I am so afraid I am doing something 'wrong' to make me not lose as well.

Scary part of 130 - is that at 150 I look at myself and go god, so fat and ugly. What will another 20lbs do, honestly? That is the part the scares me. I want to look good, no matter what number on the scale. But I don't think I can get below 130. Never have been able to.

Too crazy at work to do any planning of other things. Weather here still really sucks. Had flurries again today. Definitely need to move. Hee.

So much to stress over. I'll try and check in tomorrow.

03-24-2005, 12:02 PM
Hi guys - Iím back now. I have this week off, and have been off visiting friends for a few days. It wasnít the best of visits, since Iím still not completely well. But I am slowly getting there I think Ė and for this week Iím planning on sleeping, reading fiction (nothing related to work/studying), and catching up on my (neglected) TV watching (;) ). The worst thing about the last month has been the complete lack of energy. Very tiring. For today, my plan is to catch up on the second season of Arrested Development! I love that show! Do you guys watch it?

Ang Ė this family stuff that is dragging your days down Ė is it grieving for your mother you mean? To compartmentalize difficult stuff is a very good way to get through bad stuff in my book! I use it a lot too. Are you going down to see your family tomorrow?
And how is your foot doing? Do you still think itís broken? You really should check it out if you still think it is of course!
It sounds like your weekend was wonderful; good luck on your big garden this year! Does it mean that you and the ex wonít have the farm-project together this year?

I totally know what you mean about buying bigger clothes, Ang! It really is a sad thing to do, but just as you say: you need to concentrate on the here and now. And what you can do to make your life better today.
My whole losing weight plan for March got completely sidetracked, and by now itís almost April and I still havenít gotten my energy back. Thereís no way Iím able to get that ďstarter highĒ from organizing eating, work-out plans, calories, and weight loss right now. I need to get back my energy first, and Iím hoping this Easter will do the trick. Itís not as if the weight is going anywhere on its own! (sorry to say!)
And good luck on your paper: What is it about?

Renee Ė itís so good to hear about your weight loss; itís very inspiring. Itís also excellent that youíre still losing weight every week. Iím amazed that you still havenít had any weeks without weight loss! And you do, rationally, know that it will not be the end of the world if it happens, right? ;)
Maybe you should think a little about how you can relax more Ė and maybe enjoy the journey toward your goal a little too. You will reach your goal, no doubt about that, but it does sound like youíre a little stressed about reaching it right now.
First of all: It *does* take some time for your body to adjust to a big weight loss. But after youíve reached goal and you continue to exercise (lifting weights to build muscles, doing cardio, playing, riding, softball, etc) while maintaining your new weight, your body will adjust and continue to change.
Secondly: you are losing weight fast, and your body is probably changing much faster than your mind is right now. This is why time is so important: give it a couple of months and you will see yourself differently. Not only will your mind catch up with your weight loss, you will also look at your body from a point of view where youíre not completely stressed out. When weíre in Ďdiet-modeí weíre always under a lot of stress Ė and it definitely tricks us in to seeing ourselves and the world around us differently too. It colors what we see.
You will be fine, Renee Ė you just need to allow yourself some time! :grouphug:

03-29-2005, 01:57 PM
Where does the time go? I was away with family for the holiday weekend. I would much rather have been home but I'm not ready to turn my back on my family. I can't wait until my father is better so maybe we can get back to some normalcy. My biggest stress this minute is writing a conference paper that was supposed to be done by today. Not going to happen. I'm trying, which is why I haven't had time for the internet (I'm making a few minutes today.). It is on age and gender effects of the biomechanics at heel contact during slips not leading to a fall. Not so thrilling but... :lol:

How were your holidays?

Renee - has work gotten any better? What was wrong last week? Congratulations on losing the 0.8 pounds! :cp: I know it is frustrating you and maybe a little disappointing, but I think you are doing great. You are losing and that is the bottomline. As you get closer to your goal weight you are going to lose slower. It's how the body works. Try to hang in there and just keep doing what you are doing. Maybe increase your activity a little if you can now that the weather is improving. I know it is easier said than done, but try to focus on the good habits you are picking up and less on the number on the scale.

mette - it's good to have you back. I'm glad you have good plans for your vacation. I hope you start to get your energy back. If you don't, maybe you need to check you vitamin and mineral intake. I know a few people who have been diagnosed with anemia and taking iron has really helped their energy (B12 too I think).

I don't watch Arrested Development. Are DVDs of the first season available or do you tape them? I find I don't have too much time to get too involved in any particular shows - I just end up missing too many episodes and getting lost. Maybe I should get TiVo or something. Do any of you have it or a DVR?

I have been missing my mother and at times it really makes me sad. I am also having problems relating with my brothers and father now that she is gone. We didn't talk much at all while she was alive and now it falls on me to call them and pull conversation out of them. I don't talk about my feelings much and get a little uncomfortable when my aunt and other family members start talking about my mother. Maybe I need to go back to therapy a little to talk through my feelings instead of hiding them in chocolate.

I don't think my foot is broken but something is wrong and it is taking a long time to heal. I did run on it Saturday morning. I was so out of shape. The foot held up and it is mostly just sore depending on what I do with it and what I am wearing on my feet. I'm babying it a little and just giving it the time it needs. I see progress so I'm not going to the doctor yet.

I'm pretty excited about my house and the garden out back. Painting is continuing inside at a faster pace and it looks so much better. I will not be gardening with ex this year. New bf very happy about that and ex sulking a little but too bad. He might not do it now if he is alone since he can't do all the work himself. Oh well. This set up is so much healthier for me.

mette - I really hope you do get your energy back soon. You're right though - your weight isn't going anywhere but you need to take care of yourself right now. April is a new month.

Take care ladies and try to enjoy something today. :D

03-31-2005, 11:41 AM
Iíve lost track of the time too! My weekdays just disappear! The best chance to spend time on the net these days seems to be during the weekend.
How did your conference paper go, Ang? Did you finish? And this ďÖage and gender effects of the biomechanics at heel contact during slips not leading to a fallĒ Ė what are your conclusions? Are you measuring which groups (young/old, females/males) have *more* heel contact or their *type of* heel contact? And isnít the really interesting question: who falls down most often Ė men or women? :D

Renee Ė hope youíre doing well.
Jessica Ė you too! Are you coming back to talk to us soon?

Iím doing better; I think my energy is slowly coming back too. Better weather is helping, and also sleeping more.

Ang, I donít have many TV-shows I watch and tape Ė but Arrested Development is one of them Ė itís really, really funny. I think itís out on DVD (at least the first season) so I recommend that you rent it if you get the chance. Short episodes, good actors, great lines and extremely funny! Itís the most dysfunctional family Iíve seen in a while, and itís always a relief to find families worse than my own! ;)

Itís sad, but very understandably, that youíre missing your mother, Ang. Iím also sorry youíre struggling with your relationships with your father and brothers. What would happen if you stopped taking responsibility for the relationships and not do all the work, do you think?
And itís hard to give advice about these things, but personally I love to be back in therapy. At least I talk seriously about important stuff once a week now. It makes me feel more grounded and present somehow.
And yes: talking about feelings is better than covering them up in chocolate! :^:

Good for you that you went out running! And so great to hear that youíre excited about your house and garden! I hope youíll have an enjoyable summer with your garden project!

Iím off again Ė Iíll write more this weekend. Hope your writing went well, Ang.

03-31-2005, 03:49 PM
mette - Are you enjoying work again? Sometimes busy is good if it's not too stressful. Are you making some time for yourself?

Renee - how is your week going?

I finally finished my paper. I'm not happy with it or the fact that I have to make a presentation on it in June but for now I'll take the progress. Unfortunately going to conferences is part of my job that I can't afford to skip right now since I'm relatively new. I was looking at velocity of the heel, foot angle, etc. There weren't too many differences between men and women. Basically women have a harder time with the faster walking speeds, probably because of shorter legs. In the work force men fall more than women! :lol:

I've been watching Sex and the City on TBS. It's entertaining. I'll look for the Arrested Development though. Lately I've been watching movies from my library. That don't have too many so I'm sure I'll run out soon enough, but for now they're free and that's a good reason to see some 'questionable' titles. I saw Godsend the other day. A little weird but not bad. Did you see it? I'm picking up another one after work today that is on hold but I don't remeber what the title is.

If I stopped talking to my brother and father then we wouldn't talk. They don't initiate anything. My father would sit at home and complain to his brothers about his daughter who moved away. It ALL falls on me. :(

I know it sounds lame, but the money is a main reason why I don't go back to therapy. I wouldn't mind paying if I knew I was getting something out of it but I wasn't totally sure last year. I'll have to keep thinking about it. I have people around here to listen but I just clam up. I've never been good verbalizing feelings.

Do any of you have any projects or big plans for the spring or summer? The sun is starting to give me some desire to get moving. I haven't been running since the weekend but hope to get out again this weekend. A little at a time and the time change will help me get running in after work. How is everyone else doing with their exercise? mette - are you well enough to get back to it yet?

Back to work I guess. I'm trying to take it easy a little today after my stressful week with this paper.

04-01-2005, 03:27 PM
Ugh hey ladies! I've been so bad about posting here lately, I promise to try harder next week.

Weight loss last week was only .2 pounds so I am getting more and more disappointed. This week I am trying to eat more, as I have been more physically active, and I've read that people who are active, should never eat the bare minimum target points (which is what I have been doing). I can only try to see what works best.

Work has been cranky. I started in 2000, July 10th. That makes this year, 2005 - my 5 year anniversary. You get 3 weeks vacation at 5 years service, but they are only giving me two, claiming that vacation time is based off of the Janurary 'renew' cycle. I argued that it was bs, and that I should be allowed 3 weeks this year, or else I am having to work 5.5 years for my darn vacation.

They give so little to begin with, they should at least stop taking crap away!

Anyway, back to the grind. I'll catch up this weekend.

04-04-2005, 04:06 PM
What happens in the spring? We seem to get busier but I'm not sure I get anymore done. I did take Friday off to decompress a little after being so stressed at work since being in CT. I needed a day to relax. I also decided internet at home wasn't worth $46/month so I won't be posting from home at all I guess. Hopefully work won't be too bad so I can keep up during breaks at work.

How were your weekends? mette - were you able to relax this weekend at all and finish getting all better?

Congratulations Renee on continuing to lose. I think it's great that you are still losing. I do agree that if you aren't eating enough you are probably doing your body more harm than good. What types of activities have you been doing? Are you going to the gym? Getting outside?

I got out and ran again yesterday. I'm still trying to find my legs again but I'm glad to get out and know that it will be hard for a while but will get better as I get into shape again. Now if I could just stop eating. I just keep gaining weight and it is making me depressed, which just makes me lose any motivation I have to do anything. It's a vicious cycle.

Renee - I'm sorry to hear about your job. Most places I have heard about give you the 'upgrade' on the 1st of January during your 5th year. You really do work in a tough place. Do you think they will budge at all? Any thoughts of looking for a new job again?

I found out today that my company offers this Work Life Solutions benefit. I'm just learning about it, but it seems that it is to help promote better/happier employees that will work harder. They seem to offer online and in person counseling on short term bases for specific problems. I'm looking into it more and may take advantage of it to took through issues concerning my family (mother passing away and trying to deal with dysfunctional men).

Have you adjusted to the new time, assuming you sprung ahead yesterday? I'm happy to have the sun but woke up pretty tired today.

Great weeks all around!

04-04-2005, 05:29 PM
Tonight is weigh in, and yesterday I ate like a frenzied cow on a hill of luscious Kentucky Blue Grass! (We went to Outback) I am so nervous.

As for work - I am going to fight it. Just need to pick a day that things are low key and the guy I need to talk to is in a good mood. I do want to find someplace new - not because this place is so awful (it's not bad at all most of the time) but because I want to find a place that actually rewards you and stuff.

Spring ahead is great. Still sleepy though. We've had three straight days of sun, and I am sooo freaking happy!

That sounds like a good program that your work is offering ang, I'd try it. It can't hurt to at least explore your feelings a bit.

As for work outs, I am up to 6x a week. Well, in various forms.
Wed-Fri-Sunday are days at the gym. 25 minutes of weights, and 40-60 of cardio.
On the other days, I exercise at home with a sledge hammer for strength training, and then DDR (Dance Dance Revolution dance video game) It has a workout mode that figures your calories burnt, based off your weight, time played, and speed of song/dance steps. I burn about 200-300 every time I play, which equates (again the game figures it out) from anywhere from 1.8-2.8 miles of jogging.

So yah, I've increased my activity level A LOT. I just can't seem to find the right combo of points eaten versus spent. >.<

I'll let you guys know tomorrow, how it went.

04-05-2005, 09:57 AM
Hi guys. Long time, no write Ė I know. I donít think itís that Iím busier Ė itís just that I spend much less time on the computer.

Iíve gotten better and have more energy, but I still sleep a lot (Iím going to bed at 10 most nights! I donít think Iíve ever done that on a regular basis before! ;))
Not losing weight yet, but Iím easing my way back to the gym and had my 3 weekly sessions this weekend (Saturday, Sunday and Monday - and I do have the sore muscles to prove it too! :D).

Work is sort of good. Really good too, sometimes. I think I get better at it, as I get used to working like this - at least thatís what I hope. Some of my patients get better too, so I must be doing something right (I hope... :p ).

Ang Ė good for you that youíve taken up running again, and I do think youíre having the right approach: expecting it to be hard for a while, and then get better.
Hopefully you can get the ĎWork Life Solutions benefití to work for you too.

Renee Ė good luck on tonightís weigh-in! Iím really impressed by how often you work out!

Keep up the good work girls Ė talk to you later.

04-06-2005, 09:57 AM
Öor is it? :p

I hope youíre both doing well in the struggle against whatever monster youíre battling this week. I think my monster of the week is the Lethargy Monster! :s:

Ang, I hope youíre doing better, but if youíre still struggling with the Vicious Cycle Monster of eating and feeling depressed, Iím as always a big believer in adding good and positive things until the cycle breaks, and turns into a positive one. I know it's very hard, and sometimes it takes forever to do Ė but Iíve never found anything else that helps for me.

I know Iíve talked about this before: Iím a big believer in starting to add good things into your days. When I overeat for a long time Ė to finally break it Ė I do several small things. I suppose itís the baby steps everybody is talking about!
I start taking away the Ďbad foodí I easily can live without, I improve where I easily can improve, I start organizing a little better (plan dinners for the week, plan, pack, and bring lunch to school/work, know what to make for dinner once I get home, etc). And I start adding non-food-related pleasures/joys too. Because I often get to the point when I overeat where food is the only pleasure I give myself all day! So I add stuff I look forward to (for me it can be watching a movie, go out to meet people more, make sure to watch my favorite TV-shows, watch old episodes of X-files or Buffy, buying the latest Tori Amos CD, etc). Good things and positive feelings Ė I strongly believe those will help break the cycle.

Now, with that said, you are also in mourning right now, and I hope you allow yourself enough time and space to do whatever you need to do. To grieve for your mother, and to figure out how you want your life to be like now. And itís always OK to move slowly.

Me, I seem to have lost my will to diet! :D
I was very gung-ho about it at the start of March, but right now Iím not motivated at all. Iím not really sure what happenedÖ I have to wait and see a little, I think. Normally I will get very motivated to lose weight at the end of April when summer draws close.

04-06-2005, 03:21 PM
Renee - how did your weigh in go? Good luck with the work issues. It is definitely important to feel appreciated. Let us know what happens.

We have been having sun here too and it is wonderful. I ran errands after work yesterday and had plenty of sunlight to spare when I got home. :D Now if I could just have some energy and motivation to get outside and exercise when I got home. I am envious, Renee, of your workout schedule - discipline, variety and fun. Do you have DDR in your home? Do you really use a sledge hammer? on what?

I did call today about the program at work. I get a 30 min free legal consult to discuss issues about my father and I get 6 free sessions with a grief counselor in my area. Since it is a limited number of sessions I am going to try to keep it focused. In the end I think it can only help other aspects of my life.

Welcome back mette. I totally understand about the computer. I mentioned (I think) that I'm going to drop internet at home. Not that I don't enjoy the things I do on the computer, but there is so much more to life too. I'm so happy that you are feeling better though. Give the weight loss time, you need to get your body back into that mode. If you are still maintaining maybe it is better to take it slowly and wait until the end of the month to worry about 'dieting'. Are you motivated to do the workouts? Maybe one thing at a time is best. You were out of the loop for a long time because of your illness. Be patient.

Congratulations with work - mette! :bravo: I'm glad you are enjoying what you are doing. I'm not surprised at all though that you are good at it. :) Thanks for your advice. I am trying to do some good things and taking steps (like seeking counseling) to make improvements. It hit me hard yesterday that I eat to divert my attention from feelings and other thoughts that I might want to ignore. It is a terrible defense mechanism but clear as a bell for me to see now. I am definitely not dealing with my feelings concerning my mother's death and probably my fears about life in general as a signle woman and homeowner and career woman.

Since I have been gaining weight, lately I have been adding stress to my life by worrying about what to wear, what will fit, etc. As much as I hate to spend the time and money, I decided yesterday that I am just going to go to the store and buy a small wardrobe (a couple of pants, and some easy spring sweaters or something) that is plenty big. I just need to get that worry off of me - it just puts me in a bad mood and then I don't have motivation. Maybe after I accept what is going on I'll be able to get a hold of the true problem. I guess what I'm saying is that I am not going to try and lose weight right now, I'm going to try and improve my life. It may help me lose weight in the long run but that's not my goal right now. I think about joining WW but realize that if I don't solve the problems I won't stick to anything. I know what to do. I don't need a diet plan to tell me.

In the meantime I'm working on my house when I can, running when I feel like it, and eating healthy when possible (usually pretty good during the day). Keep your fingers crossed that the grief counseling helps.

Sorry for the ramble. I hope you are both having a great day. Except for not getting much work done mine has been going pretty well so far. :D

04-07-2005, 09:45 AM
Ang Ė thank you for your post yesterday: I enjoyed your ramble very much! :D
Itís so good to hear that youíre taking an active approach towards going to therapy and towards buying new clothes. Iím very much impressed by your attitude towards getting the worry of not having clothes to wear off you. Good for you that you do things that hopefully will do you good.

Renee Ė how are you this week?

I do agree with Ang that there is more to life than computers right now. Do you guys think we should talk about some possible futures for our little thread? We could maybe invite more people in? See if we can find another thread/group we can merge with? Keep it as it is and just accept that we will have slower periods too? We have several options, and I do want to say that this is one of my favorite places on the net! I really like to have you guys here, and I donít want us to stop meeting! :^:

Iím still maintaining my weight, I thankfully have no problems maintaining. My problem now seems to be getting into losing-weight-mode again. I do think one thing at a time is best, too. I donít stress with anything yet.

Have a good one! :cool:

04-08-2005, 10:24 AM
Unfortunately finding an approved counselor who has time isn't as easy as I would have hoped. It may be a while before I can see someone. At least it's something. Meanwhile I had another small accident in my basement yesterday and hurt the same foot. I don't think it's ever going to be the same again. Who knows when I'll be able to run again. If I can get in the shoes, I'm going to try and bike this weekend.

mette - I think you're right that we need to discuss the thread. I would be happy to have a couple people join us but don't really know how we would go about that unless we started a new thread with a new 'inviting' name. Have you visited any other threads that seem like a fit for us? I think it would be ideal if we could find 2 or 3 other people so it's busy enough for support but small enough that we can really get to know each other pretty well. With no internet at home I definitely won't be able to do everyday but I don't want to lose touch with you ladies. :)

Renee - what do you think? How are you? I hope everything is going well for you.

mette - I'm so glad that even in your 'tough' times you are able to maintain without too much trouble. I think it is a testament as to how good your habits are and how healthy your lifestyle has become. With the better weather you may naturally increase your activity and may each less just because you are busier. It'll come. It's good that you aren't stressing over it.

Anybody have plans for the weekend? I was supposed to go away with bf for the first time but that got postponed since he blew a stitch in his mouth and has to see the doctor tomorrow. It's so frustrating that we can't seem to get to the next step. Oh well, there are plenty of other things to do around the house this weekend and I think I am going to take advantage of a big Filene's sale this weekend and go get some of those clothes I was talking about.

Happy Friday! :D

04-08-2005, 12:00 PM
Hey ladies. I had intended to read up and write last night, but Comcast seemed to have nationwide issues and therefore I had no internet at all. I ended up watching Stuck on You (Which was surprisingly sweet and 'feel good') and going to bed way early.

I had an orthodontist appt. yesterday and I got those elastic rubber bands now! Yikes. They are horrible, I feel like my jaw is being wired shut! I am supposed to wear them all the time, and I go back in 6 weeks. Hopefully I will only have one run with this things. I really dislike them.

Weigh in was good on Monday. (But I think I wrote about that already) I still weigh myself every day, just as a means to keep myself on track. If I start seeing days with consistent ups, I know something needs to be looked at. I have seen three days of 147 in the morning though, so I feel like I have lost at least something already this week. Yaay.

I can't believe how close it seems to be getting. I mean, 12-17 pounds left. That doesn't even /sound/ bad now. I also have noticed my size 14 jeans are starting to feel a little loose! How exciting.

Work is going better lately. I had a pow wow with my one boss on Tuesday I think, and have been very much better since then.

It has also been sunny for a lot of days in a row. AND, I may work the horse farm this weekend. :)

Sorry I never talk about your guys stuff - I feel like at work, I am rushing to spit something out... I will try to get better at that. :(

04-11-2005, 03:05 PM
Renee - I don't remember you telling us about your weigh in last week. Please refresh my memory and let us know how it goes tonight.

Good for you for talking to your boss! I'm glad it helped. Did you go to the horse farm?

I spent a lot of time outside this weekend raking and doing other stuff in the yard. I didn't get too much done alone but it was a start and it felt good to be outside. I also went for a short bike ride. It was the first time since last fall. It was tough but good to get out on the bike again. No running since the foot still causing problems. I'm thinking of going to a doctor to get it checked out and just biting the bullet on the cost of the x-ray.

mette - how was your weekend?

Yeah for the sunshine. I got out for a short walk at lunch but haven't really gotten any work done today because of distraction. Sorry to keep it short but work calls. More later...

04-12-2005, 09:40 AM
Keeping it short and sweet! (;))
Ang Ė sorry that your foot got hurt again. If itís not getting better, then x-ray might sound like a good idea. And still: your weekend does sound very nice Ė both biking and yard-stuff! :D

As for us finding another thread to merge with Ė I havenít read other threads here in the support group area either. Should we start looking, do you think? Itís not as if weíre in a hurry or anything, but maybe there are other nice threads with 2-3 people out there.

My weekend was nice enough, too. I got my 3 workouts for the week, and that always makes me happy! I also arranged for a session with an instructor to renew my program, next week. Iím looking forward to some changes in my program, and some new exercises. I want to focus more on strength and upper body once I have this last weight off me, so thatíll be the goal for when Iím done losing weight. And for now I just want to focus on keeping up the strength I have, while increasing cardio and losing (mostly) body fat.

Have a nice Monday, girls! :smug:

04-12-2005, 01:49 PM
I am due for a physical so I may just get my foot looked at then. I'm postponing the physical though since I don't want the doctor to tell me what I already know - lose weight so you can be healthier and lower your cholesterol. The foot may be a good enough reason though to go.

As we get time (I know, something none of us have a lot of) maybe we can look around the threads a little to see what's out there. I agree no rush though as long as we can stop in for 'short and sweet' messages once in a while. :)

Congratulations mette on getting in your 3 workouts. Are you only working in the gym or getting outside at all? What cardio are you doing these days? After I get into some cardio routine (running and biking - foot permitting) I am determined to get to lifting some weights. The extra room/workout room should be ready soon. You are very lucky to have an instructor right there. Keep up the great work. If you get any good tips pass them along. Have you been able to start your weight loss again?

Renee - what's been up with you? How was your weigh in?

I am freezing at work today in my office (the AC is set for a sunny part of the building I guess) but making some progress on my work. Of course I also picked up two new things to do. It's never ending. Oh well.

Last night I started some demolition in my house so I hope to continue with it tonight. Even if it's only a little bit, I feel good when I make progress on projects in and outside. At least it gives me a moment to not obsess about the progress I am not making with my health. ;)

Enjoy the sunshine if you have it!

04-13-2005, 09:03 AM
Ang, you shouldnít let your doctor bully you or make you feel bad about yourself!
If she/he tells you to lose weight, you should ask how. Ask her/him to be very specific, and for every suggestions: think about whether itís helpful or not for you, whether youíve already tried it or not, whether itís something you just canít do right now. Push it right back on her/him and refuse to let your doctor make you feel bad about how your life is right now.
I know itís important to get information about your health, but itís also important not to feel guilty and bad about what youíre not able to do right now.
Getting your foot looked at sounds like a very good idea, though!
(Iím sorry about the rant Ė I hate doctors that make me feel bad about myself! Theyíre supposed to help me, not make it worse! Itís quite possible Iím projecting Ė so feel free to ignore me! ;) )

My 3 weekly workouts in the gym normally consist of 40-50 minutes weightlifting and 30 minutes cardio (Iím slowly increasing the cardio; up from 20 minutes): one day biking, one day jogging on the threadmill and the third day on the elliptical machine. Iím trying to increase the cardio sessions up to 45 minutes.
I walk to and from work on Tues-Fri; a 45 minutes walk each way (I *love* my iPod! Right now Iím obsessively listening to Fiona Apple and Tori Amos while walkingÖ :) ). So I do move a lot right now: I get my recommended 90 minutes activities a day! (Yey!)

And I donít think I can claim to have started my weight loss again yet, but I lost one pound last week Ė so letís keep our fingers crossed that it will continue! :p

Demolition in your house sounds very exciting!?! Make sure you donít hurt yourself!!!

I love working with many of the patients I have; itís always great when theyíre doing well. But I do find it hard to work with the ones who donít do well. I know the most important thing is how the patient is doing, not how Iím doing; but I have to deal with my own emotions too. I have another young patient with terminal cancer right now, and itís really hard for everybody involved.

04-13-2005, 01:14 PM
This weeks weigh in - +/- Zero pounds.
Which, is not too bad, considering I ate three days off plan and got my period the day of the weigh in. So not so bad really.

Work has been really busy, but I've been coping pretty well.

I had an ortho. appt. last week and they put rubber bands on my teeth! It is horrible and it's left my inside lips torn to shreds and makes eating painful. They are banding my top teeth down to my bottom, so it's a triangle at my canines. /_\ Like that. I can't lick my lips, press my lips together, it's horrid.

So that is pretty depressing.

The weather has been great though, so that is keeping my spirits up a bit. I keep intending to write out replies at night, but comcast is having major issues lately, like nationwide issues, and I get stuck at home with no internet.

Hopefully that will pass soon. Well back to work!

04-13-2005, 04:27 PM
mette, I agree with your ideas about doctors but wouldn't say I am afraid he will bully me. Actually, last year he sent my test results back with something like a form letter saying that I should lose weight because my cholesterol was a little high. Maybe I'm just in a little denial and don't want to make it official at the doctor. The foot will get me there though. It was even a little uncomfortable today while I was walking.

mette - your workouts seem really good. When I used to run I found it made a big difference going from 30 to 45 minutes at a time. The longer durations really give your body a chance to burn fat. You're lucky you can walk to work. Congratulations on the weight loss!!!! :cp:

Renee - it sounds like last week wasn't great for your plan but congratulations on not gaining any weight. You must be doing something right. :) Do you find it easier to exercise and eat better when you aren't as stressed at work? Have you done anything differently to deal with the work stress?

The 'closets' in my bedroom were taken apart last night and thrown out the window. Except that I still have to move the wood, it was fun and now there is so much more room. One more step closer!

I give you a lot of credit, mette, for working with ill people. I would love to help people but can be too empathetic and don't think my heart could handle the emotions. I guess you learn how to keep a therapeutic distance? Do you find that it helps you learn things about yourself?

btw - I am STILL trying to find a counselor who has some time to talk to me about my mother's death. I guess there are too many crazy people around here. :lol:

Renee - I had rubber bands with braces when I was younger. It does stink. I hope you only need to deal with them for a short amount of time. Are you eating less because of it? Hang in there. Just think of how great your teeth will look when you are done. :)

It's a little chaotic at work so I'm off to deal with that right now so maybe one day I can really focus on writing one of my papers.

Enjoy the sunshine!

04-22-2005, 01:27 PM
Wow! We were on page 3!?! Obviously weíre not feeling up to writing much these days, huh?

Or perhaps weíre just writing other stuff? I just finished a paper on ďgenetic influences on religiousnessĒ for our student newspaper.

Hope you all had a good week, itís Friday and the weekend is here. I desperately need to clean up my apartment, but hopefully Iíll get to do some fun stuff too.
I also have to start looking for a summer job. Iím not really sure what to look into: should I spend the last summer away from psychology Ė since that probably wonít happen again, or should I just embrace it and look for something that is relevant for the real jobs Iíll apply for in just a few months? Itís a dilemma!

Btw, do you guys watch TV at all? (Itís mostly been me rambling about shows Iím watching here, hasn't it?)
Are you guys watching Veronica Mars?? Itís really, really good Ė the best series on TV right now, in my opinion! High school based detective show, with strong female lead, dark themes and wonderful writing!

Have good weekends! :smug:

04-25-2005, 10:10 AM
I was out of the office last week so no internet access. I've also been busy writing journal articles and doing work but mette, your stuff always sound more interesting. What channel has Veronica Mars? I haven't ever heard of it. I watch some television but usually just find something to watch at the moment I sit down since there is no schedule to when I will be watching and I don't bother taping anything.

mette - did you clean your apartment this weekend? How about having some fun? I've been making progress on my yard (with a little help :) ). I no longer have hedges in my front yard. Luckily I can burn brush through April. I love bonfires!

mette, if you think you have enough "experience and credentials" to get a job in psychology without working this summer, I would suggest doing something for yourself. It may be the last time so have a good time (not that psychology isn't fun for you). I guess it truly depends on what you need to get out of the summer. Also, when do you plan to graduate?

I hope you're all doing well. I'll try to stop by again later. I have to get going on my morning right now - too much work to do as always.

04-25-2005, 11:25 AM
Ang, so nice that you took time to post! I miss you guys when we havenít been around in a few days. It sounds as if work is busy, but good? You do enjoy writing, donít you?

Veronica Mars is on upn - - only 3 episodes left of the season!!! A lot of questions need to be answered!
I started watching it after reading about it in Salon Ė somebody said it was time to stop rewinding Buffy tapes, and check out Veronica Mars. Itís both completely different from Buffy (nothing supernatural, no superheroes), and a lot like it (strong female lead, great writing, fun, high school angst, etc).

I must say I like your approach to TV, Ang. Iíve never had the Ďin-the-moment-watchingí myself though: Iíve always had favorite shows and series, and made sure I didnít miss them. This year started out with me desperately missing Angel, so I was very happy to find a new show I absolutely love.
Ah, well. Excuse me for rambling! ;-)

As for the weekend, Iím happy to report that I both cleaned and had fun! (but not necessarily at the same time! :D )
I assume youíre happy with your weekend too, Ang? Sounds like you got a lot of work done. How are things between you and the bf now that youíve been together for a while? When you talked about him before, everything was new and not settled yet. And I just wondered, with everything that has happened in your lives Ė he losing his uncle, and you losing your mother - how the two of you are doing. It sounds as if itís going very well?

Hope you all have a good Monday!

04-25-2005, 03:34 PM
Work is always busy and good when I can get something done. I like the work but don't like feeling like I'm not getting enough done. I'm not a big fan of writing because I am a perfectionist so writing takes a long time. I used to have my advisor to read things but not here. :( I just can't stand the thought of publishing something that isn't good. I guess that's why the journals have editors. I'm just always striving to get better and don't know how to improve my writing with no help at work. Oh well, I'll just keep trying. Do you like writing better than helping people? I'll assume no but I'm sure the diversity is good.

I'll have to see what channel UPN is and see if I can check out Veronica Mars if I'm around. I have shows I like but I just chose this year to not let t.v. be a priority. It works for the most part for me right now. I don't need extra reasons for sitting on the couch. :) I need to be doing so many other things.

Ramble away...I miss you ladies when I can't get to the computer and love to hear what's going on with you.

I am relatively happy with my weekend. I actually cooked dinner for a friend last night - Thai based. Nothing gourmet but she ate it so it couldn't have been all bad. I spent some time with bf, which was good. We are working through some scheduling stuff but things are pretty good. We are being supportive with each other in our family life. I am 'teaching' him how to be supportive for me. He tries and is willing to learn, which is excellent, but right now he still acts like a guy and just needs to learn how to listen more and provide solutions less. I have been struggling with my mother's death a lot lately and haven't quite gotten back into life but I'm working on it. I've started to control my eating a little and trying to get activity back into my life. I'm behind schedule but still trying and hope to be in the groove by May. I may actually go for a walk/run today.

Are you back to your presick routine? Reading any good books? I'm reading the History of the Pink Carnation (or something like that) for my book club. I'll never finish it in time but at least it gets me reading more.

Have a good evening and I'll be back tomorrow. :) Renee - you out there?

04-26-2005, 11:31 AM
Hey gals, sounds like everyone is doing well! I have been busy and at the same time bored. How that can happen, I have no idea - but I really don't like it. And I agree with Ang, it always sounds like everyone else has such more interesting lives than I do!

The weather decided to play a trick here and give us one last (I hope it's the last) swoop at wintery stuff. It's not FREEZING, but it is way not as warm as it should be for nearing May.

Weight loss is going well. (I have to tell myself this, because I think I am mentally slowing myself down- is that possible?) I have been on weight watchers for ten weeks now and have not gained anything during this time. Mostly, (lately) my losses are under a pound. So last night I took some new pictures and slid them up next to my befores. Holy cow. That was definitely a boost of 'good job girl, keep it up!'

I have 18lbs to go to get to my goal weight, and I cannot believe that my screwy mind twists that into sounding more impossible than when I started and needed to lose 60!

I've been good about working out. 2-3x a week at the gym and the days I am not at the gym I am at home playing DDR. (Dance Dance Revolution) It tracks calories burnt based on your weight and the vigorousity of the songs you choose and how many steps you supposed to take. (also how many extra steps you take too) I end up burning around 400 calories in an hour with it, so it's just as much cardio/aerobic as the gym sessions. Monday is always my off day. (Timewise there is no point for exercise, and it's also weigh in day.)

Softball starts soon, I am curious/anxious to see how I do this year with a more in shape body!

Keep up the cheerfulness girls, it's really inspiring!

04-27-2005, 05:59 AM
Writing is more about having fun for me, but I donít write serious stuff all the time either, not like you do, Ang. And I really donít envy perfectionists when it comes to writing assignments; Iíve worked with a few of them (friends and fellow students), and itís really hard when we never can agree on how good is good enough. On normal assignments Iíve always thought that the last 5-10 percentages isnít worth the extra work, but some of my friends (and frequent writing buddies) will never let anything go that isnít 100% perfect. It can be quite stressful! ;)
But I *do* get that you donít want to publish something that isn't good, Ang! (And Iím sure that never happens!) But youíre right that itís why the journals have editors. ;) And can you perhaps get another adviser, get someone at work maybe? I agree that itís really helpful!

I really like writing for fun Ė essays and comments on psychology and research Ė itís why I like to write for the student newspaper. You can be a little personal, you can joke about stuff, and still say something serious about theories or practices youíre reading about or trying out.
But I do like the people-part of this job too, so ideally I want to have both!

Itís good that your bf is willing to learn, Ang. And that things are getting better. Iím so happy for you, and you deserve somebody supportive and caring in your life. Iím sorry youíre struggling with your motherís death too: do you find different things to be hard, than you expected? I can remember being surprised about some of the things I missed when my brother died. Hope you got your walk/run yesterday Ė how is your foot these days? Are you better?

Renee Ė congratulations on your continued weight loss! Youíre really doing very well! :D

I bought a pedometer Ė and tracked my steps while walking to and from work yesterday: the result was about 9.500 steps. Itís not so bad actually, I think the recommended is 10.000 steps every day. So Ė at least Iím OK on the days I walk to and from work. Not so sure about the other days thoughÖ. :p
But I have improved my cardio-sessions at the gym: last weekend I actually ran 5K on the treadmill! :D

Btw, did we decide earlier that inviting people we hit it off with into the thread is OK? Every now and then I reply on posts in the ďBuddy Up! forumĒ, and sometimes I want to invite people over to check out our thread too. Give them the opportunity to check us out a little, and maybe they would want to post too! Which would be nice, donít you think?

04-27-2005, 11:15 AM
I am cool with more people! The more the merrier! (Unless we are talking about pounds I think heehee!) Sometimes I go to post but see no posts since my last post and just hide low for a while. More posting is good!

04-27-2005, 04:44 PM
Hi Ladies,

I think life is always busy. If it weren't, then what would be the point. You always have to have something to work on next. Hopefully there's fun stuff mixed in though.

Renne, how are you bored and busy at the same time? Are you busy at home or work or both? Congratulations on continued weight loss and taking new pictures! Although sometimes hard to remember, it is true that sometimes the body doesn't lose weight while it is changing shape and building muscle. I'm glad you got the boost since it can get so frustrating at times. I know that right now I'm looking at what I need to do and I'm overwhelmed. After this past winter I need to lose about 40 pounds! :( i can't even get started because I feel like there is no point and it'll never happen. I don't have the patience right now. I'm working on changing my thoughts but no luck so far - and it's almost May! :( You seem to have changed your habits and the weight is coming off. Slow is healthy. Keep going and you'll get to your goal soon enough. I'm sure softball will be a lot easier without the extra weight. I'm sure you will be a lot faster. What position do you play?

mette - as far as writing goes, there is no help or mentoring at work. A lot of the people here write worse than I do. My biggest problem is that writing is SO IMPORTANT to my job but I procrastinate and do other work because it is so stressful for me to write and agonize over the words. I'd rather edit or help a coauthor (which I've been doing the last couple of days). I guess I have no choice though.

I'm glad you get a chance to write and share your ideas with other people, mette. Renee, do you write at all? Even a journal? I doubt most people would want to read about my work, unless they are in the business. I am a scientist and mathematician, not a writer. Oh well.

I did run the other day - almost 30 minutes with only about 200 meters of walking (mostly needed a psychological break). If I can get running 3x a week I think I could get back to 4 miles within a couple of months. My foot is still sore but I think getting better so I'm good with that. I guess it takes a long time to heal when you keep using something.

The thing that gets me most about my mother being dead is that she is no longer here (I can't talk to her or see her ever again) and although I know it in my head, I can't believe the finality of it. I just miss being able to call her and talk to her about things with me or the house or work. It's not surprising but very hard. She provided me with a safety net and some stability so now I feel very much alone and a little scared.

Congratulations mette on your running! :) 5k is excellent. A pedometer is a really good idea. Walking that much is great! Are you going to track a couple of days that you don't go to work just for comparison?

Invite away! If we can bring in a couple of people that would be ideal, instead of joining some other group that is established. Maybe Jessica will come back at some point too. I wish I had more time to look around the site but alas my work keeps me too busy. Maybe when my house is 'done' I will rethink having internet at home and then I can chat more at night and on the weekends.

Speaking of work, gotta run. Enjoy your evenings. I have book club tonight. Haven't finished the book of course but it will still be nice to see my friends. Ciao!

05-03-2005, 01:51 PM
Hi Ladies - how did the weekend treat you? I spent a lot of time working at my house. Some progress is being made. Work is as busy and stressful as ever. I've been trying to watch my food intake and not being great but definitely better than in the past. I bought these no sugar added fudge ice cream bars that I am using to satisfy my chocolate cravings. I know I don't need them but they're better than candy. I was hoping to get in some running this weekend but the weather didn't agree. It's May and still cold. :(

I was hoping to lose enough weight before my conference in June so I wouldn't have to buy a new suit and nice clothes. I have pretty much given up on that. At this point I am not losing anything and I doubt things will change enough that I could lose 20 pounds in 7 weeks. I just don't know what to do. I try to make good food choices but sometimes I wonder if I know what I'm doing. I'm sure I'm still eating too much (portion control) although I try to only eat until I'm not hungry anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to start over? Maybe a losing weight for Dummies book or something?

I hope you are all well and come back soon. :)

05-05-2005, 12:59 AM
Heading out sleepy bed time hugs. Miss you gals!

I had my LEEP procedure yesterday and it went well. No pain or anything funky afterwards. I get the results back in a week, and from there if it is still confirmed as mild dysplasia, we wait until my next exam and see if it's all cleared up. The procedure also removed the not so hot areas.

Eating is going well. I am finding a big catch with Weight Watchers. Even when I eat my 20 daily points, plus eat my activity points that I earned, and dip into the Flex Points - I end up short on calories. I am trying a website called and it tracks all sorts of things, but like today: I ate 1400 calories, but at the gym, burned 600 = 800 net calories to survive the day on is below the minimum and is what the body would call starvation mode.

Gonna keep going WW style for a week, next weigh in, ask them what is up. Then try a week following MFD way.

So where did everyone go? We really need to get back to posting here or something. :)


05-05-2005, 07:02 AM
Ang, sorry youíre feeling depressed about losing weight, but good for you that you get out running. Running for 30 minutes is a very good run in my book. I find that the most important thing is to eat enough before I work out; I get light-headed when I run after doing weights, especially in the mornings when I only have a shake before I go to the gym (protein, milk, banana). I know itís good (fat-burning-wise) to run on an empty stomach, but I think I need to eat a little more before I start running, maybe a fruit or protein bar. I want to burn fat when I do cardio so I aim for a 65% increase in heart rate. I like the treadmill, bike and elliptical machine these days, because I can program the machines to keep my HR stable and adjust the resistance while I focus on keeping alive (itís boring!) for the whole 40-45 minutes.

Ang, what kind of books do your book club read?

My suggestions on how to start over with weight loss is to start writing down what you eat: what, how much, and when.
Write down everything for a couple of weeks, see where you can make changes easily and start changing that, and do it slowly. You could get another diet book if you want to, theyíre always good for inspiration, but you already know how to lose weight. Youíve already done that Ė now itís about getting re-started. And my best suggestion is to start a food journal, count whatever you want (potion size, grams of protein, grams of fat, calories, points, or whatever), but start looking at what youíre doing right now.

I think my biggest challenge in losing and maintaining weight is to move out of the all or nothing thinking where the Ďeat-everything-modeí or Ďeat-100%-on-plan-modeí alternate, and I never could be bothered to change the first because that wasnít really me, or it wasnít really something I wanted to look at. I used to think that if I just could get into the second mode, I could forget about the me that ate everything in sight. Itís the all or nothing, and black or white thinking that a lot of us struggle with. How to deal with the black, and use it as a starting point (not deny that itís there), treat it as a reality and not an aberration, and work on how to get some structure, clarity, good habits, etc. into the black (make it grey!). We donít want black or white; we want many shades of grey!
(OK, crappy metaphor, but you guys get my point, right?)

Renee Ė what is the MFD like compared to WW? Different strategies? More food? Different food?

I started my new weight lifting program a couple of weeks ago, and itís always a real boost to change things around a bit. I already lifted more on the squats (I did a whole set of 135lbs, the goal is somewhere around 160-165 by the end of the year, so Iím doing well). I really like that I get stronger while losing weight (OK slowly, but still! Losing weight. At least in theory! ;) ), which to me means that I do it right. I eat enough (average around 1500-1600 calories a day), and I eat correctly (enough protein).

05-05-2005, 09:31 AM
I donít read other threads in the Support Group Forum, but we talked about checking out some sometimes (to see if we found someone we liked). I just noticed the thread that came up behind ďThe PactĒ after my last post: I kind of liked their name. The thread is ďBack to Basics Ė MayĒ
It seems to be 3-4 women, and they talk about losing weight, head-stuff, exercise, eating, food, etc. It looks as if theyíre of different ages and with different amounts of weight to lose (just like we are). Thereís even some horseback riding, weight lifting and running mentionedÖ
I think I kind of liked this thread, what do you guys think?

If not, maybe we should look into creating a new thread, since this one is getting a bit long? Is it perhaps time for ďThe Pact #3Ē?

05-06-2005, 04:12 PM
I'm here and have been here - glad to hear from you two. :)

Renee - I'm so glad your LEEP procedure went well. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it clears up and you don't have any problems. In the meantime, congratulations on continued good eating. What types of food are you eating to get to your 20 points? If I remember correctly, you can eat lots of veggies for few points.

mette - I agree with you that cardio machines are awfully boring. That is the main reason that I don't use them with any regularity. I have been trying to walk and run once in a while but nothing regular. I know it's not cardio but I also am getting out in the yard. I think I just need a new job that doesn't require me to sit on my a*s all day. :lol: Although it may be better to run on an empty stomach (not sure I have heard that one), I can't imagine that a protein bar would make that much difference. If it stops you from becoming lightheaded I think that's more important and safer.

My book club reads whatever we decide. We don't have a focus, like mysetery. We are reading "The Great Gatsby" this month because one woman wanted to read a classic. The last one was a historic romance novel with some adventure. We've also read some heavier stuff like "Middlesex". I do it to socialize. I'd rather read Stephen King.

Thanks for the advice about starting to 'diet' again. I know where the problems are but I agree that I need to start keeping track of food. If nothing else it is something different that may help break some habits. I know I HAVE TO exercise to lose weight. That's the only thing that has worked in the past. The problem is that I have not been able to get into any routing with exercise since I started work. It was so much easier as a student. :(

mette - Have you found any new ways to get protein in your diet? I envy your success and consistency. What was the main change with your new lifting program?

mette - are you thinking of us joining this other group? At the very least we can start "The Pact #3" but I'll check out this new thread some and see if I have an opinion. Renee?

I'm glad it's Friday. I have no motivation to do anymore work today so I probably won't. I get to leave early to bring a friend to the bus. Unfortunately it's in the opposite direction of my house so I'll hit a lot of traffic getting home. Keep your fingers crossed that I stay motivated and run or do something active when I get home. The original plan was to run but the realistic goal is to get out in the yard for at least an hour or two.

Anyone doing anything fun this weekend?

05-09-2005, 10:57 AM
OK Ė so Iíve created a new thread for us:The Pact #3. Follow the link: