[dharmaspell]

I just wanted to share this link with everyone.

http://www.wow4u.com/rewardsrisks/index.html

I've been going through some things. I don't like sharing negatives but, I don't know...

I just recently came out of a depression. I've been watching my grandfather and just observing my grandparents in general. It saddens me to see them. They can barely get around. My grandmother can take care of herself but my grandfather has to have his personal needs attended too because he's so weak. I have to wonder if that is in my future. Most definitely if I don't get the weight off. I look at my parents. Both of them are overweight. I want to tell them that they need to get healthy or they will be in the same predicament but I feel like that's the pot calling the kettle black.

And then I've been questioning my decision to be a writer. This was one of the most important decisions that I ever made in my life and the self-doubts that have cropped up are killing me because I feel like they may have some merit. That I'm not as talented or as capable as I think I am. That really hurts because all my life I've wanted to do this but I'm just not getting the positive reinforcement from life. I'm seriously considering doing something else.

And I fell off of my program but will restart at the first of the month. I currently live with other people and it is extremely difficult to eat healthy when the others in the household eat the food I buy for my program. Not only that, my grandmother cooks high fat/high cal meals (She is old school) and gets hurt when no one eats. So I decided it was best to get my own place. I'll be moving into a nice one bedroom apt at Dec. 1. The bad part is I'll have to get a 2nd job but the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.

Anyway, I went on internet in search of inspiration and found this story. I don't know, it just seemed to fit where I'm at now. I thought I would share, just in case anyone else is in the same place. I did read a few posts and felt like I have companions in this boat.

Enjoy. They have others on this site. I'll probably spend sometime going through and finding some more.

[Tammy32]

We kind of had a similar discussion about this at the beginning of the week. The "lost" discussion. Not knowing quite where we are going or what we are doing. I can sympathize with you 100%. Everything you shared, I have been through similar experiences. It sounds like you are inching your way forward, which is encouraging. I question just about everything about my life. It disgusts me that I do that and it disgusts me that I can not be completely happy with how things are now. I have so much to be grateful for, yet I still feel that there is just so much missing. I hope that you find what you are looking for. I hope that I find what I am looking for.

[dharmaspell]

Thanks. I sat down Sunday and did some hard, honest thinking. Made some decisions. I think I figured it out. It's debilitating to be so uncertain but I realized that I have to be singleminded when it comes to my goals and not let life deter me. I wrote my goals down. When I move into my apartment I swear I'm going to wallpaper the place with them Thanks for the understanding. I hope you too figure out what you need.