100 lb. Club - Struggling..

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11-12-2004, 04:46 PM
Well I figured I'd write a note about this since I know it happens to everyone.

So a couple weeks ago, my life somehow changed, work got busier, school got busier, my social life got busier (although no guy yet... ), I caught a bad cold, I screwed up my knee again, I starting getting upset about the loose skin that is already showing up, etc. So things happen and all this happened to me at once and I stopped eating as good as I have been and I stopped exercising as much. I used to put in the extra effort to fit in extra exercise in, but for the last couple weeks I haven't felt like putting in the extra effort. I have still been going to the gym 3-4 times a week, which is better than nothing and I have been having a few good eating days out of the week.

So what is the temptation? The temptation is to say "screw it, just do whatever until the first of the year after the holidays are over and then you'll get back into the swing of things" I've been lucky, I haven't gained weight (or maybe I'm up a couple lbs) in the last 3 weeks that this has been happening, but if I stopped trying until the first of the year, it is possible that I could gain a significant amount of weight back. So that isn't an option, I must what I can to get through the rest of the year. Then I get the temptations of "well just do better next week" but then I say well why not do better tomorrow? or the next meal? or I don't know... but postponing isn't a good idea and I know it.

What have I learned? I can't give up, I know that, it isn't an option. I must keep my diet and my exercise on my mind constantly, even if it doesn't mean the best choices, I can't forget what my overall goals need to be. I also believe that building muscle has helped my metabolism and it is the reason that I haven't gained more than a couple pounds in the last few weeks. I don't know what I'd do if I was over 300 lbs again, I don't think I could take it.

So what am I doing? I'm struggling, every moment, every hour, every day struggling to not let the bad choices that all around me influence me. I am also struggling to get myself to the gym so that I do at least get some exercise in, even if it isn't stellar.

I've also been reading posts here to help me keep weightloss in my mind, but I just haven't been posting as much. It is hard to post when you are busy eating something you shouldn't ;)

So to everyone out there, keep up the good work, there will be lows and highs and as long as we can see ourselves through the lows, we'll be fine.

11-12-2004, 05:26 PM

I am far from the best advice-giver on here, and I'm sure you'll get some major words of wisdom from others, but here's my take. You have been at this very, very hard for a long time. Certainly your mind is tired, and I suspect your body is tired as well.

What if you were to take the holidays off from dieting and focus on maintaining? I know from everything I've read on Maintainers that they're similar processes, but I think they're also psychologically different. You could look at this as a way to practice sustaining a weight for a while. Set your trigger point where you will jump back into diet action.

You've done *so well for so long* that it's not a real surprise to me that you'd hit a point like this. It takes so much mental and physical energy to lose weight; maybe you need to let yourself off the hook a little -- just a little. It's really not a race -- it's about the rest of our lives.

Just my $.02. Hang in there and use us as a sounding board when you need to!!!!

11-12-2004, 05:42 PM
I too have been struggling as well. even with my great week last week, I'm finding it hard to make it through this week. I started out my meal plan early in the week, but never finished it and ate maybe 2 of 5 healthy lunches this week.

I truly think it is the season. we all start to think of the big family feasts coming up, all the sweet treats beckoning us. (For me it's mom's cheese log and not so much the sweets). So then we tell ourselves. I'll be "good" this week so I can pig out on Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. But then like you said life is getting more hectic. I tend to have more obligations around this time of year not just with my job.

You are doing great with making it to the gym 3-4 times a week. Since you know that you are going to be super busy and life is hectic, it may be time to set a new goal until after the first of they year. Maybe try out maintaining. I know that sounds silly when you are still a ways from your ultimate goal but it may be just what you need to keep from getting discouraged when the scale doesn't go down.

You have to wonder just how many of us have felt just like you, but been afraid to post this:
I've also been reading posts here to help me keep weightloss in my mind, but I just haven't been posting as much. It is hard to post when you are busy eating something you shouldn't ;) .

Kudos to you for admitting that yes, you aren't making the healthiest of choices, and yes you are aware that it is sabatoging your weightloss efforts and yes you are going to do something about it.

I think you have made some great changes in your life and I know you're not willing to go back to your old habits. I know you can do this.

11-12-2004, 06:04 PM
Hi Nelie,

Ditto what Jennifer and Dawnyal said. Remeber, evan Dr. A knows that there will be times when you need to "take a break" and he designed the SBD to accomodate that. You have done so well so far and your determination inspires us all :) .

Since you are starting to feel a little stressed, why not plan a softer version of SBD for the rest of the year (or maybe just a week or two). Don't give up completely - you know you won't like what happens if you do. On days you feel like doing more, do more. But do something.

Remember, we are all here sending you good vibes and here is a warm :grouphug: for you.

11-12-2004, 06:18 PM
Nelie -- My heart goes out to you...:grouphug: We ALL go through this, honest to god whether you have 100# or 10# to loose we ALL struggle DAILY... Some days it's a minute by minute that I have to make the right decisions, literally minute by minute... Don't despair. Maintain for the holiday season, make the healthiesfood choices possible considering the circumstances, go to the gym when your schedule permits it but try to fit it in, it is the best medicine...

Teapot -- I love your quote: "It's really not a race -- it's about the rest of our lives." Perfectly said...are you listening Nelie? ;)

11-13-2004, 12:48 AM

I have found myself in a very similar situation - and I am (successfully so far) taking the maintaining route for the time being. Personally, I think it is really really important to acknowledge how far you have come, continue to enjoy all the benefits of feeling fitter, more energised, looking better etc etc, and feel good about yourself - and to see the decision to maintain as a positive thing, not a compromise. I have kept many of the good habits going, which is what is helping me to maintain, and I have found it really helpful to focus on the good habits rather than beat myself up for some of the bad ones.

Hang on in there, and be good to yourself.....

11-13-2004, 03:28 AM
Hi Nelie! I'm really glad you posted. I was just wondering the other day where you'd gone off to, and hoped you weren't having a rough time. :( I'm not sure I have any words of wisdom for you, other than to hang in there! It sounds like burnout, and I think we've ALL been there. Just remember that perfection is not sustainable for the long haul. The secret is how to find a balance of "healthy imperfection." You have worked out so hard and racked up so many points for perfect eating, water, exercise, etc. that you could just be tired, both mentally and physically. I think the idea of focusing on maintenance may be just the ticket to give you a rest and revitalize you in order to start losing again.

Stay in touch and let us know how you're doing! We care and want to help however we can!

11-13-2004, 10:20 AM
Hi Nelie, you're doing wonderful, just remember that. I promise we've all been or will be there at some point, it's just part of the journey and completely natural. As I was reading, I was thinking about what makes this different for us from all those others who just need to "diet" away some excess pounds. For us, this is a new way of life. Much like taking a shower or brushing our teeth, it's something we just do, day in and day out. I have to say; Iím struggling a bit to find a way to put this because I certainly do not mean to offend anyone, in any way. But I feel like if you put this on hold, then you would be putting your life on hold, and where would that get you? Part of adjusting to this new way of living is being able to find the balance even when the road is rocky. Try thinking into the future a bit, when you hit your goal and are working on maintenance. Life, with all it's stresses will most certainly, still be going on around you. So, would putting your maintenance on hold while you work through some life issues still be a valid option at that point? I would venture to guess probably not because you know exactly what that would lead to, and then what would be the point of all that hard work youíve been doing, just to regain weight? I feel like the same rings true here as well. This is something we have to learn to do every single day, for the rest of our lives, no matter what kind of curve ball life is throwing us. Maybe it's just a matter of needing to shake things up a bit to get out of the slump you've fallen into. Time to rededicate and refocus your efforts. You could use this opportunity to prove to yourself that you can do this, even during the most challenging times. I hope you'll consider what I've said, but ultimately only do what is best for you. After all, this is your life, and you've got to live it on your own terms. Good luck Nelie, I'll be thinking about you.


11-13-2004, 10:29 AM
Nelie - You have done an amazing job so far! I look at you as a role model .. I don't get a chance to go to the gym ... you go 3 to 4 times .... I would love to have your motivation for that!

You can do this ....I know you can! :)

11-13-2004, 11:13 AM
Berverly -- Your post is a keeper, I've put it in a document!!!! That was soooo well said!!!!

Nelie -- That is from someone who's been there done that, so I would take her advise any day for sure....

11-13-2004, 01:27 PM
Nelie, I've been struggling with my response to you. My heart just goes out to you :grouphug: and I wish I could pull out some magic formula that I could package in some profound way that would give you just what you need right now. But I can't. I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. For some of us, losing weight and living on plan are like having a second job; it's so time- and energy-consuming to do all that you have to to achieve the amazing results that you have. Your success thus far wasn't achieved by accident! You haven't been "dabbling" here; you've invested an amazing amount of resources in transforming your life, busting your &*% to work towards your goals.....and while you've come a long way, I know you still have a road before you. While I can completely relate to your challenge, I'm still in awe of your achievements and discipline and motivation. You have inspired me more than you know, and I respect you so much.

But I know you're not a bottomless pit of neverending motivation and positive determination. Noone is. It's emotionally and physically tiring, working as hard as you do, and when things speed up, socially, societally or personally, it's even harder. (I'm there with you, sister.)

Now, in reading others' responses and trying to figure out how I was going to best respond to your post, I've had mixed feelings. I wasn't sure taking a little break from "losing" and focusing instead on maintenance through the holidays was the best course -- but then again, if that's what you need right now, then it sure beats the heck out of the alternative! :^: I didn't want to step on any toes -- and I wasn't sure I was right! -- but I kept thinking, "What if she just shakes up her routine, or just really hunkers down, or something!.....I just think it's really important that she continues and doesn't put it on the shelf for the reason that it's a lot harder during this period." See, I KNOW that you're capable of managing this, Nelie, regardless of the external stuff going on.

But I was afraid of not supporting you, or giving you what you need right now. I want to give you the best, most caring and insightful support I possibly can (without being right there) -- and it's important to me that you know I'm on your side whatever decision you make.

Well, then along came Beverly with her astounding wisdom in tow, and I just couldn't agree more with her words. I agree with Ilene, too: Beverly knows whereof she speaks. The woman has walked a mile or two, ya' KNOW? ;) She can say with credibility what I cannot, and I just think she's told you -- and ALL of us -- something important. Think ahead also to how you'll feel in January after all the different scenarios, ala, "If I do X, I will feel Z," etc.

I want to be really clear, Nelie: Whatever you decide, I will have your back and wholly support you, without judgement. I'm just encouraging you to really listen to Beverly's advice.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

11-13-2004, 03:54 PM
Thanks everyone for the advice. I started thinking about to when I first started focusing on weight loss back in May. I started slowly, not stressing about being perfect but trying my best and then improving as I went along. That is what I am basically doing at the moment, every day may not be perfect but I'm not worried about perfection, I'm worried about improving.

11-13-2004, 05:18 PM
Hi Nellie,

Hang in there ~ you are not alone. You will make it through this holliday season ~ you can do it. You are another inspiring lady!!

11-14-2004, 12:14 PM
Nelie, I'm in the same line of thinking as Beverly. I only take that stand point because it is what I would do for myself. Ultimately, you have to make the choice that you know is best for you. I know that if I tried to just maintain for awhile it could possibly make me become to comfortable with that. So, I rock on everyday and so shall you. I know I have problems. It seems I think of food every five minutes of the day. It is horrible and I hate it! When I quit smoking that was easy. I don't have to have cigarettes in my house but on the other hand I do have to have food in my house. I just want you to know that you are not alone. I struggle also. As for that excess skin, it bums me to to have it. All I can do is work harder at the gym and then when that won't help anymore I will have to make further choices. I won't jog on the treadmill at the gym because you can hear my excess skin on the bottom of my abdomen flopping around. It is disgusting. But, I might not like it but I am going to get something like a girdle to help that problem when I exercise. Not a perfect solution for the excess skin but a workable one. My, my listen to me ramble on..hehe..My last thought Nelie, you are going through a low time. It's your inner strength that will do the talking for you. You can get through this low. You may be unhappy now but if you gain back your weight you most certainly will be at a much lower point than you are now. You go girl!!

11-14-2004, 01:05 PM
Nelie, I can't add anything here that comes close to what has already been said, but :grouphug:
you can get through this. Good luck.

a broad abroad
11-14-2004, 01:57 PM
Nelie, I can't add anything here that comes close to what has already been said, but :grouphug:
you can get through this. Good luck.

Me too, but I can add one thing: we miss you on the beach!

11-14-2004, 02:18 PM
Hello Nelie,
I just wanted to say that I think you are amazing. You always give good advice and I like reading about your progress. I am sure you will see you way through this.:yes: I just wanted to tell you I care and will be thinking about you.
I wish you success and happiness
Love Annie xx

11-15-2004, 12:30 AM
Nelie - Hey there sweets!! You have gotten such great advice here already, there isn't much left to say...other than I KNOW YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT!!! and I'M HERE FOR YOU!!!

11-15-2004, 02:04 PM
Nelie, I can't add anything here that comes close to what has already been said, but :grouphug:
you can get through this. Good luck.

I'm here for you = ) HUGZZ

11-16-2004, 11:32 AM
well you all know my oppinion :love:

11-16-2004, 12:08 PM
You've gotten so much great advice here Nelie, I can't add much other than my support and best wishes - I've been there, understand fully and assure you that without a doubt you'll get through this. :)

I'm looking at all the replies here, probably totalling a thousand words or so, but somehow out of all those words, one little :love: in the previous reply might say it all! :devil:

11-16-2004, 01:38 PM
Beverly and Sarah--I don't see any footprints on my toes so I think they are all right. :D.
I want to thank you both for posting what you did. I'm so feeling the way Nelie is at this moment and what I posted is the only solution I could see for me to do at this time. (Shows you how narrow minded I can be.) I wouldn't have even imagined trying something new in the middle of all of this chaos some people call the holiday season, but that may be what I need to keep me grounded.

11-17-2004, 08:00 PM
{{HUGS}} to you. I know exactly where you are coming from. In 2003, I went from 350 plus pounds down to 278. Then came Thanksgiving and Christmas. I started eating terribly again. I kept telling myself I screwed up so I might as well keep screwing up. 2 pounds became 5, 5 became 10, and so on. Kept telling myself, I'll start over in January. Well, I did off and on, but nothing serious. I am back up to 323. I have hated myself for some of the choices I've made and the mistakes I have made. I finally decided to get my act together again. I am going to do the very best that I can for the remainder of the year, cause my family does a lot of things at the holidays that involves food. I know I will give in and have some treats. But only on days that we are having a little party or something. All other days, its eating normally. I still go to the gym, even if I have "messed up". This will be the first year that I will be going to the gym during the holidays, so I am hoping that will help with damage control.

So, case in point, I am going to eat the best I can for the rest of the year. I am a firm believer that if you don't give in every now and then and treat yourself, you will fail. You cannot go through life without eating another cookie or piece of cake.

I wish you all the best and many congrats on your success so far. Looks like you are well on your way!

11-17-2004, 09:26 PM
I agree Mommyofone that is how I handled the holidays last year was to eat what I really wanted on the days of the party while I was at the party then it was over and back to normal not 2 weeks of an eating fest! I actually lost 5 lbs or so during the holidays last year.

11-18-2004, 10:31 AM

I can't say anything that hasn't been said a dozen times already. But I would like you to know that you are a real inspiration to me and I'm sending lots of good vibes your way. You'll make it through this, we all have faith in you. :grouphug:


11-20-2004, 07:07 AM
well you all know my oppinion :love:

Nelie - if you ever want a little holiday in England you'd be very welcome to stay with me!!!!! :)

11-20-2004, 07:37 AM
stop stirring it annie :lol:

11-20-2004, 06:01 PM
I'm doing better and I think the stresses are starting to be lifted off of me a little but I have missed a few exercise days here and there but I feel as if I'm getting back on track! Of course always struggling, but its normal. I hope in a couple months, I can look back and laugh at my current struggles or something.

Annie, thanks for the offer ;)

11-20-2004, 09:36 PM
I think everything's been said but still :grouphug: .

Hang in there :)