Weight Loss Support - Havin a depressing day!
11-10-2004, 03:18 PM
I feel depressed but at the same time, the depression is motivating me to exercise! I missed out on so much because of being fat and I'm about to just start crying thinking about it! I remember being made fun of because I was fat since 2nd grade. The sad thing is.. I'm not fat because of the way I ate or I didn't exercise.. I'm fat because when I was born I was premature and anorexic and every week til I was 4 I had to have a shot to make me gain weight! I sucks so bad. I remember my brother calling me fat A LOT growing up. We never got along. Both of my brothers are skinny and in shape. I never had a boyfriend. I never went to any school dances, no homecomings, no prom. I wouldn't even go to my senior prom with my boyfriend who I am now engaged to! He wanted to take me so bad.. but I was too embarrassed because I tryed on a size 18 dress and it was TOO SMALL! I never go to parties because most of the girls there are skinny and so pretty. I'm embarrassed to go out with my boyfriends friends and their girlsfriends because they're all skinny.. It really hurts our relationship because I never want to go out with him. I'm embarrassed to go to the bar because I feel like everyone is staring at me and saying " oh my god, he's engaged to HER" I love him so much and I want to change the way I feel about myself and I want to be comfortable going out and having a good time while we're still young. I want to be able to have kids and be a good rolemodel for them. Not be fat and inactive. I know Jesse loves me no matter what I look like and I know inside he would NEVER cheat on me but sometime I feel like he's looking at the skinny girls and wishing he had one. He's a very attractive guy and very active. He likes hunting, fishing, hiking, just anything to be outside... but I can't do that with him because I get tired to fast, I'm too fat. I need to change my life now, while I'm still young! I want to be absolutely beautiful in my wedding dress for him ans myself and not feel ashamed to be at my own wedding! I will do it, and I will do it now.. for the sake of myself, my future husband, my future family and my health. I will not let this control me any long. I need help :stress: :stress:
11-10-2004, 04:10 PM
first of all, stop beating yourself up! each minute is a new door opening to a new life. yes, you had a rough beggining that led to later life weight issues. i faced the same thing myself.
start by changing one habit at a time........perhaps start by drinking 8 8 oz. glasses of water a day. then start portion control. then switching to lower fat items and whole grain breads and pasta.
tell yourself that you are worth doing this.
keep a journal and note what emotions cause you to eat and what you eat.
realize that you cannot become thin overnight and that it is a life long journey.
perhaps your fiance would go for evening walks with you....
11-10-2004, 04:16 PM
Oh, sweetheart, please don't beat yourself up so much ... it won't do you a bit of good. It sounds like you've had a really rough time of it in the past and that's tough. And believe me I know how tough it is to try to lose weight, and I totally understand about being embarressed to go places or do things - but here's the thing, you have got to stop letting being embarressed or insecure about how you look stop you from enjoying life or from doing things you want or need to do. We only really have today you know? So not allowing youself to live your life to its fullest potential is such a waste of time. Unfortunatly there will always be people out there who are unkind (in any number of ways) ... but that's their issue, don't let them make it yours.
When I first started trying to lose weight the right way I was terrified of going to work out in a public place. I was certain that everyone would laugh at me or just be plain mean. What I quickly realized is that for the most part, people are so wrapped up in their own thoughts that they're not paying any attention to you. And anyone who actually takes the time out to make some sort of snide comment to you is doing so because they've got issues. Losing weight is difficult enough and involves you dealing with your own issues - there was just no way I was going to take on some rude stranger's issues as well.
I'm not sure what advice to offer you. Be patient with yourself. Losing a significant amount of weight in a healthy way takes time so try not to get discouraged, I promise the exercise gets easier and after a period of time you'll probably even start to enjoy it (working out is my biggest stress reliever and my favorite time of the day - go figure). Eating healthy also gets easier (especially if you avoid temptation :lol: ).
Keep your chin up. Acknowledge that it will take a while to lose the weight, but don't put your life on hold until then. Good luck. Grace
11-10-2004, 04:20 PM
Thanks for the advice Jazz! I'm working on it and my fiance does take walks with me and he won't let me eat fast food! I know it won't happen over night, although I wish it would! lol :-)
11-10-2004, 04:29 PM
Thank you also Graceful.. every bit of encouragement helps!
11-10-2004, 07:54 PM
Dearheart, you have had many sad things happen to you. You are not alone in this, and it can get better. But you have to do it. If you feel you are out of shape, start there, slowly. Being fat does not have to be a deterrent to exercising. Start slow and walk more. Add any amount of walking to your day, even if it seems like a silly small amount. Things such as parking your car further away, or walking across the room back and forth while the microwave heats the coffee. Get some really comfortable shoes too. And then walk some more. Walking is a good start. Eventually you may want to do more, even join a gym where you are comfortable.
I know you want to lose some weight and you can work on that too, but getting more fit will make you feel much better and stronger. Fat does not have to limit you physically as much as it is. And the more muscle tissue you build, the faster your metabolism will work to burn more fat.
Do not allow being fat to define and limit you. I would also gently suggest you change your avatar to start thinking about yourself in a different way.
By the way, I was your weight just afew weeks ago. Now 204. And I feel very strong, agile, and fast. Even fat people can be athletic. YOu can too!
You have your whole life ahead of you. You cant change the past, but you can accept and mourn it, then move into your future. ONe step at a time.
Jan, also an underweight kid whose parents had to force feed me till 7-8 years old, then I took over the job.